Election 2016

You Don't Have to Like Any of These Candidates, But You're Gonna Loathe Some More Than Others

Which would-be president is worse?


Cthulhu vs. Christie? Uh…let me get back to you about that.

Elsewhere on this blog today, Robby Soave pointed out that on non-economic issues, Bernie Sanders is better than Hillary Clinton. He's still rather flawed in those areas, mind you; and he used to be considerably better. But she's worse.

So many political choices boil down to that question: Who's worse? You're not actually obliged to cast a ballot for any of these people, of course; I've never participated in a primary, and the last time I voted for a major-party presidential candidate was in 1988. But even if you write in your goldfish or just stay home on Election Day, you may find yourself balancing the candidates' negatives in your mind and quietly rooting for an especially awful person to lose. I don't like Ted Cruz, but I'd rather suffer a Cruz presidency than a Trump regime. On the Democratic side, as Robby wrote, Clinton is clearly worse than Sanders on civil liberties and foreign policy; in economics, I imagine Reason readers will be split on whether they're more offended by Sanders' cavalier attitude toward federal spending or by Clinton's support for corporatist measures like the bank bailout. (Clinton is no slouch as a spender herself, and Sanders has been willing to bail out other companies. So that debate will get messy.) Overall, I'm gonna have to tag Clinton as worse than Sanders, especially in light of her support for the Iraq and Libya disasters; feel free to tell me I'm wrong in the comments.

In fact, consider this your official Who's Worse? thread. Not "Who's worse, Democrats or Republicans?"—we'll have plenty of time to argue about that in the summer and fall. We're talking intra-party struggles here. Clinton vs. Sanders. Trump vs. Cruz. Christie vs. Rubio. Gilmore vs. Santorum. Rank 'em! Damn 'em! Pledge to move to Canada if one of 'em wins! Your thread is right here.

NEXT: Attn Las Vegas Libertarians! Reason Calls BS on Public School Abuses Tonight!

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  1. I’m getting one of those t-shirts, right now.

    1. That is good.

      But I’d like to see a ‘Satan for president, because at this point why does it matter’ t-shirt.

    2. Done. I got a slightly different version.

      There is a surprising selection of Cthulhu for President stuff out there.

    3. I wonder if I can get that on a onesie for my nephew, piss off my granola SIL at the same time.

      1. Nothing in life is better than pissing off stupid lefties and watching their wailings and lamentations.

        1. ^This. Particularly when it’s over silly things like Cthulhu-for-president.

          1. They have to be outraged about something, Tonio, a Cthulhu-for-president t-shirt is just as meaningful as the rest of the stuff they get all wee-weed up about every day.

  2. I’m voting for that gay libertarian again. Cruz lost any hope of my support with his brainless comment about Snowden.

    1. I too will be pulling the lever for Gary’s Johnson.

      1. I didn’t mean to diminish Gary in any way, so let me rephrase that, ‘pot smoking gay libertarian’. I feel better now.

        1. I don’t care if he has sex with chickens. It’s the policies that I will be voting for.

          1. Gary, middle of 4 year term, 2018: I did not have sex with that chicken!

        2. Pretty sure he isnt gay but it doesnt matter either way, he gets my vote 100%

        3. Pretty sure he isnt gay but it doesnt matter either way, he gets my vote 100%

    2. Gay? Do his wife, kids or fiancee know?

      1. The wife and kids are just props. He also uses them for mules to get his drugs.

        1. His son has a degree in some sort of medicine so there is that.

      2. “so how’s that cock ring working out?” “well my girlfriend liked it, my boyfriend loved it, but my wife haaated it”

  3. I thought Nikki was the worst. *kicks pebble*

    1. Nicole has no problem letting other people be worst too. In fact, she encourages it.

  4. How low can stocks go?

    1. I’ve got a decent little short position working right now. So, lower is good for me.

      The rest of you are on your own.

      1. Ditto. I’ve been waiting for this for a long time.

    2. A lot lower.

    3. “The real minimum stock price is zero.”

      1. uhh no the minimum is infinite if you are on margin.

    4. If you were actually betting on stocks to keep increasing, you’re either not very smart or not a good libertarian.

    5. Who cares? There’s no point in watching the stock market’s short-term moves, unless you’re a gambler. Just diversify appropriately for your investment horizon and you’ll be fine. It always goes up in the long term.

      1. -1 Exploding Sun

    6. So low that Weigel has barely shown up around here lately, which kind of makes it worth it.

  5. In fact, consider this your official Who’s Worse? thread. Not “Who’s worse, Democrats or Republicans?”?we’ll have plenty of time to argue about that in the summer and fall. We’re talking intra-party struggles here. Clinton vs. Sanders. Trump vs. Cruz. Christie vs. Rubio. Gilmore vs. Santorum.

    To answer all of the above, yes.

  6. Clinton’s worse than Bernie. She’s a felon with no regrets, and there is a good reason to think she won’t be punished. Rewarding her with the presidency would be a step too far.

    1. To be fair, she’s worse than pretty much everyone on the planet, so that’s no compliment for Bernie.

    2. Plus, there’s only so much Sanders could do given that Congress will likely remain under Republican control.

      1. He’s more reasonable about guns and like you said, the Ds won’t be able to force his hand too much with a GOP congress. He also might actually do some good things about the WOD.

        If Bernie ever got real power, he would be a disaster economically, but there’s not too much danger of that right now. I’m not sure the guy would go all executive action crazy like Obama did, he doesn’t have that huge ego.

        1. Given they way he meekly stood down and let Identity polticis hacks sieze control of his podium at his campaign event and call his supporters Racists, the man has no spine as well as no ego.

          1. Well, the guy is like 80 years old, so I doubt his testosterone level is very high. As POTUS, we can be reassured by the fact that he will sleep most of the day.

            1. That sounds like a winning platform to me.

              “As president I promise to sleep most of the day, and to at least wear a robe when stepping out to get the paper.”

              1. Spoiler alert: he’s not gonna keep the second part of that promise.

          2. No ego? He thinks he is intelligent enough to make decisions down to what kind of deodorant to use for 360 million people. How much bigger could his ego possibly get?

            1. I’d attribute that more to the senility of an aging commie than ego.

              1. Exactly. He never really proposed a solution to this perceived problem, he was just complaining impotently about pointless stuff, much like the rest of his age cohort.

    3. Clinton’s a narcissist, which is my nice way of saying that she’s an immoral villain who shouldn’t be allowed any more power than a school crossing guard. Bernie’s dedicated to an evil ideology and flippantly advocates for evil policies, but I think he genuinely believes he’s trying to do the right thing. I think he’s just a confused old leftist who’s suddenly found himself promoted to national relevance because the rest of the field is just that horrid.

    4. I have to disagree. Sure Clinton’s a felon. But, she’s an evil enough hack to know not to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. Sanders, on the other hand, just might kill it because, “Why does anyone need more than one kind of egg?!”

  7. Does it even matter anymore?

    1. I think not.

    2. SPOILER ALERT: It never did.

      1. Well now what am I supposed to do for the next 10 months?!?

        1. What you always do: masturbate, cry.

          1. I’m chafed and dehydrated. I need something else!

          2. Epi’s body doesn’t actually make tears. He masturbates and then splashes semen on his face to make it look like it does, though.

            1. Well now everybody knows, Nicole! Thanks a lot!

              Luckily my semen is clear as water since I got that megavasectomy. Warty recommended it.

              1. Warty recommendedperformed it.

                Fixed for accuracy.

        2. Get stoned and don’t give a fuck while wearing your ‘Gay Jay for Prez’ t-shirt?

          1. I just did that last night.

            1. Just keep doing that and it will all be good. Or at least you’ll be less stressed out.

  8. My prediction: this thread gonna SUUUUUUCk.

    1. Yes, but will it SUUUUUUCk worse that the ‘Chris Kyle is worse than Adam Lanza’ thread?

      1. I missed that one, but yes.

      2. Nobody said worse. They said he was basically the same.

  9. Pledge to move to Canada if one of ’em wins!

    None of them are *that* bad.

    1. I can’t wait until the progs all strart pledging to move to Canada if Trump wins. I would be really very excited indeed if I thought even 10% of them would actually do it. Then at least Trump’s make Murika great again bullshit would have grounding in reality.

      1. This and the fact that probably 10-20% of his own party will be thinking, “WTF just happened? WTH are we doing?” when he wins are two of his most redeeming qualities.

        1. Yeah, when Trump does just the opposite of what he said he would, the look on the face of his supporters will be priceless.

      2. Canada is bad enough already, thanks.

        1. Take our progs, Canada, please? Captain Zoolander needs them.

      3. What makes you think they’d be welcome up here? There are already far too many clueless progs. But at least the Libertarian Party up here got the highest percentage they’ve ever seen during the last election.

        1. i liked that tim moen meme quite a bit. my buddy in ontario kind of writes him off as a rich guy from oil country, but i think that’s a formal fallacy of some sort

      4. Thanks, now I’m for sure on Team Trump.

  10. On the Dem side, from worst to least bad, I think it’s
    Clinton, Sanders, O’Malley
    Sadly in order of their chances of being elected.

    On the Republican side, I think it’s
    Rubio, Carson, Trump, Cruz, counting only the ones that seem likely to win, or
    Santorum, Huckabee, Rubio, Bush, Christie, Fiorina, Kasich, Carson, Trump, Cruz, Paul counting the people who still hold delusions they can win. Though I’m sure I made a hasty error or two in this list, but it’s not worth thinking too hard about which candidate-that-isn’t-going-to-win is worse than the other.

    Combining them, something like
    Clinton, Rubio, Carson, Sanders, Trump, O’Malley, Cruz

    And bearing in mind that I’m being rather biased towards foreign policy this election cycle. Sadly I think it’s going to come down to Clinton versus Trump, in which crazily Trump is more dovelike on foreign policy. Gonna be a good year to vote third party.

    1. Meh. Clinton’s stock isn’t looking that good given today’s revelations about highly classified emails handled insecurely.

      1. Nobody gives a shit about Clinton’s emails just like nobody gives a shit about Clinton’s handling of Benghazi just like nobody gives a shit about Clinton’s financial dealings just like nobody gives a shit about Clinton’s dick just like nobody gives a shit about Clinton’s shady real estate dealings just like etc. etc. etc….

        1. Well, except for the WIAA

        2. I think the GOP will win the election. After 8 years in the white house, the same party has won it for a third time only once, post WWII. I’m usually wrong with predicting presidential elections, but that doesn’t stop me from trying.

          1. I am spectacularly bad at it, the only one I got right was 2012. Only self deluded repub team players and John thought Obama would lose.

            1. Who was the GOP nominee in 2012? Palin? Barr?

      2. No one likes her. Seriously, not even the progs like her. Even the old school D voters don’t like her. I have yet to hear even one person, not counting the internet say that they like her or will vote for her. I’ve had a couple of progs tell me they hate her and will not vote for her no matter what. I was listening to a couple of my neighbors (this is a bluer than blue community of aging yuppies) say how disappointed that they are with Jeb Bush and how now there is no one to vote for. That shit is unheard of in my lifetime, these are died in the wool team blue sycophants who are refusing to vote for their parties likely nominee. She has zero fucking chance of winning. She’ll be damn lucky to beat Bernie. She may have to make him literally disappear to do it.

        1. Do you live in Seattle? I’ve spoken to too many young women who like her. And that’s really all the good things can say about her, they like her, and can’t wait to vote for her. Her entire history is completely irrelevant to them.

          Maybe I should meet more age-appropriate women, I think that’s the lesson.

          1. Baltimore

          2. Seattle is a very special place for sure.

            1. “Seattle is a very special place for sure.”

              The locals will let you know how wonderful and “progressive” it is at least twice a day.

            2. Seattle is a cult.

        2. I’m hoping for the lowest voter turnout ever.

    2. Pretty much my list too. I would have Trump higher on the worst side. Some of the other Republicans at least pretend to want to cut spending and taxes – he openly wants to raise them.

      1. Yeah, I agree. I’d normally put Trump higher on the “bad” scale… but at the moment I’m really sick of foreign wars. And shockingly (or maybe not so shockingly after the disappointment that was Obama) he is less of a warmonger than much of the left. He wants to intervene in Iraq to fight ISIS, but wants to leave Syria to Russia, opposes Yemen, and opposes things like Libya.

        He’s a selfish bastard, which by shear luck translates to not wanting to pay for wars unless they benefit him, personally.

        So, with me currently weighing the issue of foreign wars a bit higher, my ranking of Trump is a bit more lenient then it would otherwise be.

    3. My awful-meter doesn’t even have enough resolution at the high end to tell the difference between most candidates. It’s just pegged at “WTF?”

    4. Decent assessment.



      1. That is not dead which can eternal lie,
        And with strange aeons even death may die.

      1. Crusty would, but he’d have to get super wasted first.

        1. Well, at least a little wasted… or maybe to end a dry spell.

    2. Surely that’s not real. That’s too good to be real.

  11. Elsewhere on this blog today, Robby Soave pointed out that on non-economic issues, Bernie Sanders is better than Hillary Clinton.

    He asserted that. He was wrong.

    1. They’re both worse.

    2. You disagree?

      Sanders is still awful on civil liberties, but on the few issues where he differs with Clinton, he seems to be on the better side. It’s not like Clinton is pro Citizens United or against the drug war.

      1. on the few issues where he differs with Clinton, he seems to be on the better side

        Not that I can see, no. And while she is just cynical and unprincipled, he may actually believe his own shit, which makes him more dangerous.

    3. I reject the idea that you can ever say, “Aside from fundamental beliefs about private property and economic-liberty”…. and then evaluate someone’s “other views” in a vacuum.

      The first thing – the absolute lack of respect for individual property rights, the contempt for markets, basic fiscal sanity, etc…. trumps (boom!) everything else.

      *note: the verb “to trump” may never be the same again.

      1. “Other than the really important shit”

      2. “Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?”

  12. What? Cthulhu wasn’t evil! He was beyond it all.

    Was Derleth behind that t-shirt?

  13. Yesterday, some schmuck was hanging around the Metro station, handing out pamphlets for his state legislature (or whatever) run.

    I don’t think, “How nice for you. All politicians should be burned at the stake,” was the response he was expecting.

    1. This and the last cycle have convinced me that, ultimately, libertarian politics is local politics. There’s no sense fighting over the presidency when every viable candidate will instantly cashier liberties for political expedience. Principled candidates like Rand scare the base and are wholly toxic to their opposition, and even if they did manage to get the nod and won the office, they’d face an overwhelmingly hostile Congress. Congressional Republicans are no more interested in vouchesafing state’s rights than Democrats, and would fight to uphold their own and executive privileges before ceding any authority back to their home legislatures. And the rise of Trump demonstrates that any groundswell of independent voters is more interested in seeing their petty bugaboos addressed than in a principled interest in liberty.

      The only politicians who evince any interest at all in bucking federal authority are state legislatures. I’m not incredibly optimistic about that prospect, either, but given the shape of this race and the fallout from the last, betting on presidential politics is hopelessly naive. And you’ll note where all the rollbacks, marginal as they are, have occurred: states fighting for legalization, fighting against federal policy on illegals, fighting the ACA, fighting federal infringements on the second amendment, etc. They’re not always successful, but compared with Congress, they’re dynamos.

      1. Meant to put something in there about governors as well, but my nose started bleeding so I have to stop thinking about politics as something even remotely positive.

  14. Other than Paul, Bernie is the only one who might actually reign in executive power, although that is incredibly optimistic. Because the house is pretty much guaranteed to stay red and the Senate will either stay red or have a slim Dem majority, none of his crackpot economic ideas would pass and he might actually restrain himself from issuing his policies by edict.

    1. Bernie is the only one who might actually reign in executive power

      Yeah, socialists are famous for doing stuff like that.

      1. Bernie is the only one who might actually reign in executive power


        reign – verb. to rule as monarch; to prevail: confusion reigned.

        rein – verb to check or guide (a horse) by pulling on its reins; to restrain.

        OK, agreed.

        1. Well caught. My sarcasm turns out to be a spot-on description. No wonder my sarcometer just puked its guts up on my desk.

    2. Hold on, why is it so obvious all of a sudden that a Republican-controlled Congress would be a serious obstacle to the leftist policy of a Democrat POTUS (I’m looking at you, last eight years)?

    3. There is almost nothing about Bernie that tells me he will rein in governmental power. As previously stated, he now scares me more than Hillary, and that is saying something.

  15. Pledge to move to Canada if one of ’em wins!

    I’m prepared. I’ve already booked a one-way ticket to Australia on Qantas in First for December. One-way.

    1. Careful! There are things in Australia that are even more dangerous than Trump’s comb over.


    1. You never can tell with the Cosmos. I think they identify more closely with social liberals than with economic libertarians.

  17. If I was forced to choose the lesser of two evils (I’m not) I think I could be convinced to vote for Bernie Sanders. On the things he can’t do unilaterally as head of the executive branch (e.g. spending) I could hope that a GOP congress could hem him in. On the things her CAN do unilaterally (e.g. foreign policy) I might agree with.

    1. the things he can’t do unilaterally as head of the executive branch (e.g. spending)

      So naive. Obama has spent billions without Congressional authorization.

      1. I KNEW somebody was going to call me on that. Congrats on being first.

      2. He has also infringed on rights without specific legislative authority.

  18. I’m either voting for Rand Paul or writing in Ross Perot for lulz. NO OTHER OPTION.

  19. Clinton is the worst that’s why I hope she wins.

    1. Can we skip the next 9-10 months of bread and circuses and go straight to the implosion/meltdown, then?

      1. Epi just wants to skip ahead to Star Trek Beyond being on video.

        1. Well, that’s how I watch all Justin Lin movies. Sue me.

        2. 2 Fast 2 Trek

    2. She will ensure even more landslide GOP victories in 2018, that’s for sure. If she hasn’t started a nuclear war first.

  20. I know this is going to make me worse than Hitler, but right now, I feel a Bernie or Trump presidency would be a tossup.

    I sincerely believe that both are so incompetent (for different reasons) that they’d be largely ineffective.

    1. I think Trump WOULD be effective, though, in a political sense. He’s a lifelong Democrat running as a Republican; he supports gun control, border control, PORTECTING AR JERBS, maintaining entitlements, replacing Obamacare with pretty much just Obamacare, etc. I imagine President Trump would govern as a centrist, and therefore have enough bipartisan support in Congress to push any number of heinous things through.

      1. Trump supports gun control? He is a better liar than even I thought.

  21. I might write in Sterling “Duchess” Archer – We really need to bring back phrasing.

    1. I love this….thank you for this ^^

  22. What ever happened to Deez Nutz?

    1. Ask your mom. OH SNAP

  23. Cthulhu was not evil, he is a being that comes from beyond the stars and has a moral system so alien to humanity that it is like comparing the mind of a human to that of an ant.

    Are you evil when you step on an ant hill? No? Then why would it be evil for this Great Old One to squash our little ant hill called Earth?

    1. That’s why I support Nyarlathotep.

      1. Shub-Niggurath or GTFO

      2. Yeah, at least the Crawling Chaos seems to find humanity amusing.

    1. It’s as if a million progressive voices cried out, and then were silenced.

    2. Bloomy doesn’t care if someone in Pakistan has a gun, he cares if YOU have a gun.

        1. What’s amazing is these people are so stupid they didn’t know he was a hypocrite in the first place.

  24. I’d vote for LaRouche at this point.

  25. Nikki?


  26. Lets see, leaving off the guys who never stood a chance to begin with like the Huckster and Santorum…

    In order from Nikki to I only threw up a little when I typed their names….


    * = Kaisch could be a little higher or a little lower, I honestly don’t know a ton about him

    1. Trump


  27. I’m just going to say this again:

    We’re all going to die. Well, not all of us, and maybe not quite die, but it’s going to be really bad.

    I was saying this back in 2011 when I saw exactly how the 2012 election was going to go. I saw a small hope for Rand in 2016, but failing that, the spending is just too high for the “revenue”, disregarding the obvious assault on Liberty that any government spending is in the first place.

    Let’s put it this way, I’ll happily vote for any President that I actually think will lower government spending at all. I have some measure of confidence for Rand, very little for Cruz, and 0 confidence for anyone else. Without government spending (read: power) decreasing, it’s all bread and circuses while we wait for the other shoe to drop.

    So there. Vote for whomever you want to. Trump may have completely doomed us.

    1. The evangelicals and then the climate cult have been telling me I’m going to die any minute now for the last 50 years. What makes your prognostication more scarier? You need to up that game. Maybe some moon turning to blood, seas boiling, at least a few locusts or something.

    2. The evangelicals and then the climate cult have been telling me I’m going to die any minute now for the last 50 years. What makes your prognostication more scarier? You need to up that game. Maybe some moon turning to blood, seas boiling, at least a few locusts or something.

      1. Damn squirrels, it will be the squirrels who finally bring the apocalypse.

        1. And I looked, and behold a pale squirrel: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to kill with sword, and with hunger, and with death, and with the beasts (especially the squirrels) of the earth.

          1. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth Reason’s servers.

      2. Fire and brimstone falling from the sky, rivers and seas boiling!

        40 years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanos!

        The dead rising from the grave!

        Human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together…mass hysteria!

      3. Well, I am an evangelical, and though you’re in no more danger of being in the apocalypse than the last 70 generations, I stand by my claim.

        Again I use “we’re all going to die” metaphorically, not all of us and not quite “die”, and I stand by it. I don’t mean it will happen quickly, either. I mean there is no plausible way to bring it (the deficit/dollar) back from here. Unless someone stops the insanity spending, and I mean yesterday, there’s really no hope short of a massive economic collapse/correction. The math and logic simply don’t allow for another way.

        Oh, and I’m an Austrian Economist who has studied this stuff for quite some time now.

    3. No, fuck you, cut spendi…oh never mind.

  28. Do you guys, like, not know about SMOD or something?

    1. I’m circumcised, so it’s never been an issue for me.

  29. The system is well past the point of controllability. Sit back and enjoy watching it shake itself apart.

  30. Why are people always vowing to move to Canada? Why not somewhere nice, like Belize or Costa Rica?

    1. Belize and Costa Rica are libertarian hells. There’s no one there to tell the progs what to do every minute of the day. When they ask ‘may I go to the bathroom, masters? Am I using too much water? How do I sort my trash? How much sodium can I have? Can I eat this?’ Yeah, they would be lost.

    2. I don’t get it either. Canada is too cold.

    3. Because you can drive back when your team is back in the White House.

  31. Hillary is worst by-far. Her whole existence is founded on Bill and she is such a pussy and political climber that she defended him while he cheated on her. Then she forgave the SOB because she felt she needed him; and she does. She would have been better off divorcing the bastard as soon as the Lewinsky scandal broke. Oh, and there’s all the other illegal, immoral, and unpatriotic crap which is simply too long to list here.

  32. They are all much worse than Gary Johnson.

    1. I for one look forward to Gary’s SOTU speeches.

      *Cameras on, Gary sitting at desk putting some eye drops in, notices camera, quickly picks up plastic baggie and puts in desk drawer*

      My fellow Americans… umm, shit I forgot what I was going to say. Umm, man some little debbie cakes would be good right now… I mean, fellow Americans…

    2. Personally, I just wish actors would shut up about politics.

  33. Fuck it.

    Zheev Palpatine/Anakin Skywalker 2016. “For a safe and secure society!”

  34. Dems – Hillary is far worse than Sanders. Sanders is a senile old fool and nobody’s going to pay attention to him. Hillary knows where the bodies are buried, which closets have skeletons, she has pictures. She can get things done. And I have no doubt whatever she intends to do is solely for her own self-interest amusement at seeing just how hard she can make all us monkeys dance with red-hot pokers shoved up our asses. She also has a list of every ungrateful bastard who didn’t vote for her in 2008 – she knows and she remembers, you can bet your red-hot-pokered monkey ass on that.

    Reps – On no particular hard evidence, Rubio just creeps me out as a Grima Wormtongue. He’s a slick one, that one is, far too ambitious. I’ll bet he ran for eigth-grade student council the exact same way he’s running now. Always with the notes, always with the stock responses, like he read a book on how to run for office one time and he’s oh-so-earnestly following a formula. I’d suggest preparing a list of very high places next to very low places, you know, just for future reference in case it should become necessary to throw somebody from one to the other.

    Trump or Cruz? We’re so fucking fucked if it’s Trump so I ain’t even going to think about it. Cruz, meh. Same old, same old. He’s a politician, he ain’t good but he ain’t evil. Low bar.

  35. Number 1 being the absolute worst and 13 being the least worst.

    1. Clinton
    2. Christie
    3. Santorum
    4. Rubio
    5. Trump
    6. Carson
    7. Sanders
    8. Bush
    9. Huckabee
    10. Fiorina
    11. Cruz
    12. Paul
    13. Johnson

    1. I’ll try at this, since first time I fucked it up and there’s no edit.

      1. Clinton
      2. Santorum
      3. Christie
      4. Huckabee
      5. Bush
      6. Rubio
      7. Trump
      8. Sanders
      9. Carson
      10. Fiorina
      11. Cruz
      12. Johnson
      13. Paul

  36. In all seriousness,
    There isn’t a national level Dem I would vote for (perhaps, except maybe Jim Webb, but only if it was Christie or Bush who got the R nom).
    Hillary: Chaotic Evil. Literally doesn’t care about anything but her own power.
    Bernie: Neutral Evil. His fundamental beliefs ARE evil, even if he doesn’t know it.

    Christie: Lawful Evil. After all, he was a fucking prosecutor.
    Trump: Chaotic Neutral: I think he is just out to fuck with everyone.
    Bush: Lawful Neutral: He strikes me as somone who just likes to follow rules.
    Paul: Chaotic Good: Isn’t this where most libertarians like to hang out?
    Cruz: Lawful Good: I mean this in both good AND bad. I think he does believe in liberty. BUT he also believes in rules.
    (Although he isn’t running after all, Joe Biden might meet the definition of Neutral, but only because he is as dumb as a tree, and Neutral is the only alignment non-sentient beings generally have).
    I am not sure I would call any American politician Neutral Good since maybe Calvin Coolidge. I sometimes like to think Reagan was.

    1. Dwight Eisenhower.

    2. Hillary has too much of a big picture plan to be Chaotic Evil, I couldn’t see her hanging out with Cyric and the boys rolling through the Dales. She’d be too busy planning the next steps of her evil to get caught up in the chaos. However I could see her hanging out in Neutral Evil territory a bit better…more focused than Chaotic and not concerned about that Law thing, self focused works best.

      Cruz is not Lawful Good. There isn’t one damn Paladin sitting in that crew at all. Paladins don’t make good politicians, that’s why we have Bards.

  37. Embrace the suck.

  38. Why not hope for the worst candidate. I’d love to see someone like Clinton be the first president impeached and REMOVED from office. Fucking harpy.

  39. As a Canuck, all’s I can say is that moving to Canada if any of your possibilities ends up occupying the White House is like jumping from the frying-pan into the fire. You’ve got a collection of boneheads, but nothing beats Canada’s derptacular election of Our Snowboard-Instructor-in-Chief, The Hair That Walks Like A Man, His Royal Hairness, Trulander, the Right Honourable Justin “Because It’s 2015” Trudeau.

    Compared to him, it’s always Morning in America.

    1. Canada at least has a Libertarian Party and hope for the future. Brazil, Bolivia and Venezuela have been trained by US backing of dictatorships, and exporting of death squads like CICAD, OAS, OTA, OFAC, GAFISUD, OPDAT, MERLAT, INL, FinCEN and the DEA.

  40. Most Worst of People Who Have Actual Support
    Rubio (*note: probably worse than this, but I give him a lot of credit because I think he would actually beat Clinton and I think most others would lose to her)
    Paul (screw Fox, he still has support)

  41. “Who are you voting for?” is what looters ask idiots. By their lights it makes no sense to answer “freedom” or “the Libertarian party.” But on second thought, every vote I cast for the LP’s pro-freedom platform is a vote each looter will feel with much more pain and apprehension than had I wasted it on the other gang’s looters. When I vote against looting as a general proposition, “I’m voting for me and my LP.”

  42. For the GOP, in order if not sucking: Paul, Cruz,…..ummmm…..okay it sucks after that. But their absolute worst, making Nikki, look like the best kind of worst, is Donald Trump. He’d be conservatives abandoning pretty much any libertarian principle they’ve claimed to hold. That said, for libertarians, he might be best. Enough conservatives might get repulsed away from conservatism to swell libertarian ranks.

    For the Dems: Ummm…okay they all pretty much suck on an absolute cosmic level. But, I’m going to have to go with Sanders as the worst. Clinton’s a corrupt hack. But, she’s a corrupt enough hack to understand not to kill the goose that lays the golden eggs. In other words, she’d make life miserable, and would extract her pound of flesh for her cronies. But, she wouldn’t blow up the economy. Sanders, on the other hand, is a true believer in his idiocy. I could actually see him doing insane shit because he thought it would usher in his socialist utopia.

  43. How do we get the Cult Party of Starry Wisdom onto the ballots?

  44. Shame on all of you for not RTFA, Gilmore is the worst! That is why I am voting for him!

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