S&P 500 Closes at One-Year Low, NOAA Says 2015 Hottest Year on Record, Astronomers Find Evidence of Ninth Planet: P.M. Links

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  • Pluto
    NASA

    The S&P 500 closed at a one-year low as oil prices hit their lowest point since 2003.

  • In a rally in Oklahoma, Sarah Palin appeared to blame President Obama for her son's domestic violence incident.
  • According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, 2015 was the warmest year on record.
  • A Taliban suicide bomber targeted a minivan in Kabul carrying staffers affiliated with Afghanistan's largest media company, killing at least seven. Meanwhile, militants with the Pakistani Taliban raided Bacha Khan University, located in Peshawar in the northwest.
  • The government of Austria said it would cut the cap for asylum seekers in half this year and institute "massive" new border controls.
  • New England Patriots linebacker Darius Fleming said he saved a woman from a burning car two days before this weekend's playoff game and played with 22 snitches.
  • Quentin Tarantino explains the Quentin Tarantino movie universe.
  • Astronomers say they've found evidence of a ninth planet. Not Pluto.

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  1. Astronomers say they’ve found evidence of a ninth planet. Not Pluto.

    New Jack Planet?

    1. FUCK YOU PLUTO IS A PLANET!

      1. I bet you’d let in Eris and Ceres too, wouldn’t you!?

        1. I’m down for anything, once.

          Oh, you were talking about planet classification. No.

        2. No background checks = Gaspra 951 is in.

          Thanks Obama.

        3. We need common sense planet control.

        4. You damn right Jesse. You don’t define down just cause you dont like the answer.

          1. EQUAL STATUS FOR ALL PLANETS! WHOS WITH ME?

            1. Planets are people too!

              1. #allplanetsmatter

            2. I’m with you! Equal status for all planets is the right thing to do.*

              * Except for that non-planet, Pluto.

              1. Are you a sizist or an orbitist?

            3. I’m boycotting your solar system until dwarf planets are nominated.

              /Pluto

              1. Midget, please.

                1. No, it’s “little planets”.

            4. PLANET LIVES MATTER!

        5. Eris, Ceres, and Pluto are large round objects orbiting the Sun. They’re planets.

          Vesta doesn’t make the cut — not round enough.

          1. Is Saturn round enough? It is kind of squashed looking.

      2. But does Pluto self-identify as a planet? That’s important.

    2. Hello.

      I don’t think we can handle another planet. Not with climate change about to devour us all.

    3. Are there apes there?

      1. Wait a minute…Statue of Liberty…THAT WAS OUR PLANET!

        1. Damn you!!! God damn you all to hell!!!!

      2. Seriously, some of the scientists involved do in fact refer to it as The Planet of the Apes.

    4. Kynarth, obviously

      Geez people

      *resumes gutteral chanting and ritualistic self-abuse*

      1. One man’s habit is another man’s ritual, I guess.

    5. You hear about Pluto? That’s messed up, right?

  2. Astronomers say they’ve found evidence of a ninth planet. Not Pluto.

    Planet IX!

    1. THIS IS CETI ALPHA IX!

    2. ?

      Is that pronounced “icks”?

      1. I believe it’s pronounced Nibiru

        1. If werent straight jesse i would be hitting on you like Tyson on Spinx.

          1. there is a missing “I” in there…

            1. … and you misspelled “sphincter”

              1. … and you misspelled “sphincter”

                No, that’s the Twitter spelling.

            2. Perhaps you put it in jesse?

    3. Nibiru. Where do you think the lizards came from? Duh!

      1. DAMN YOUR NIMBLE FINGERS

    4. Those bastards, hiding out there, flaunting the Great Convention of the Butlerian Jihad.

  3. …Sarah Palin appeared to blame President Obama for her son’s domestic violence incident.

    When obviously it was Bush’s fault.

    1. She said lets send troops to kick ISIS ass, and then my boy got PTSD from the war.

      Is she for the war or agin it?

  4. Women ‘had sex with aliens and gave birth to hybrid babies’ – and so might YOU

    A group of women are claiming they have children which were fathered by aliens who live with their dads on giant spaceships – and described their sexual encounters with them as the ‘best they’ve ever had’.

    The ‘Hybrid Baby Community’ believe aliens have been harvesting their DNA to create children that combine the best of both human and alien characteristics over a period of several years.

    According to two women who claim to have mothered children with aliens, the conceptions happen either through artificial insemination or real sexual encounters.

    1. Bridget is my type of crazy.

      1. And Aluna.

        They’re both out there.

        1. She’s Alunatic.

          1. Dude. Trigger warning for awesomeness next time.

        2. Aluna looks like a hot Alanis Morrissette.

      2. Do NOT stick it in crazy! You WILL regret it.

        1. BUT THEY’RE TEMPTING.

    2. Somehow I don’t think I’ll be giving birth to anything.

    3. Bridget with some of her sketches of her ‘Hybrid Babies’

      Pics or it didn’t happen.

    4. This is why there’s a market for the Ovipositor Splorch!

    5. “green reptilian creature costume” spontaneously appears in Carl’s Amazon search history

    6. Tell me there were tentacles, and I’m on board.

    7. Boy, and I thought I had a long distance relationship.

    8. This would explain the existence of Chelsea Clinton. (as well as the name of the [cough] HUBBELL [cough] telescope).

    9. More refugee rape parties? What’s this universe coming to?

      Trumps wall will keep em out!

    10. I think she watched season 7 & 8 of The X-Files one too many times.

  5. The government of Austria said it would cut the cap for asylum seekers in half this year and institute “massive” new border controls.

    Masher halving.

    1. Arnold can’t go back now.

    2. You know who else wanted to institute massive borders for Austria?

      1. “The government of Austria said it would cut the cap for asylum seekers in half ”

        Semi decapitate them!

  6. Police: Man traded stolen $1,600 puppy for crack cocaine

    LARGO, Fla., Jan. 20 (UPI) — Authorities in Florida said they have recovered a $1,600 puppy stolen from a pet store before being traded by the alleged thief for cash and crack cocaine.

    Largo Police said Wayne Junior Barfield, 38, stole a $1,600 Yorkshire terrier puppy Jan. 12 from the All About Puppies store in Largo by stuffing the small canine down his shirt.

    Barfield was identified from surveillance footage two days after the theft and the suspect was arrested.

    Police said Barfield had traded the puppy for crack cocaine and an undisclosed amount of cash, but he refused to name the other person involved in the deal.

    1. Only someone on crack would pay $1600 for an inbred wolf-midget. This dude has it all backwards.

    2. If you’re gonna pay for something with a stolen puppy, crack is definitely at the top of the list.

    3. Florida Man. They messed up the headline.

  7. S&P bounced back quite a bit, though. Could have closed lower.

    1. It looks so promising, but it’s a sign that we’re in an honest bear market now. Shit tons of selling volume and the occasional intraday face ripping short covering rally. Earnings and guidance are going to be weak this quarter and the selling will continue this year until we reach support in the high 1500s. We’re not getting back to 2000 until we go there, in my opinion. But for now the market is oversold and due for a bounce to something like 1920. I could be all wrong. How do you see it playing out this year?

      1. I’m wrong as often as I am right.

        I can certainly see the bottom falling out, although people need to be able to put their money SOMEWHERE.

        I’m floating a trial balloon. Southwest’s earnings are out tomorrow morning, and there’s a chance that low fuel costs could give them a boost. A small trial balloon, so we’ll see.

        1. I can certainly see the bottom falling out, although people need to be able to put their money SOMEWHERE.

          I have a large chunk of cash in a bank, earning $0.00 interest.

          I have another large chunk of money invested in various portfolios, mutual funds and stocks, guess which one is performing best?

          1. A money market account would at least get you 0.75% maybe 1% interest.

            1. Yes, I could have put it all in CDs… and my money would be getting something.

        2. I wouldn’t get bullish on anything other than short term. Biotech and small caps rallied back today from very oversold conditions, so it should continue for a day or two, at least.

          I also tend to be a day ahead. I knew a rally was coming in biotech so I bought 500 LABU at open. BIG MISTAKE! Bull trap. Lost like $1200. Today was the day to do that. Just buying at open and selling before close would have netted me that $1200 instead. But it should run for another day or two, might get back in to see. Gotta wait for funds to clear.

          So I need to feel right about my predictions, but just sleep on it for a day.

    2. “Could have closed lower.”

      As Scarlet said, “tomorrow is another day.”

      1. Frankly my dear, Scarlet is full of shit.

  8. Astronomers say they’ve found evidence of a ninth planet. Not Pluto.

    something something Uranus something something….

    1. Uranus is just another gas giant, especially after Mexican food.

    2. It is massive perturber.

  9. Via Balko:

    The grand jury in the Tamir Rice case never actually took a vote on charges. I have absolutely no clue what this means, except that the prosecutor probably just decided to stop things because reasons.

    1. Well. Looks like they can retry him with no problem then?

  10. New England Patriots linebacker Darius Fleming said he saved a woman from a burning car two days before this weekend’s playoff game and played with 22 snitches.

    She crashed her car due to underinflated tires.

    1. 22 “snitches”? That’s pretty Freudian.

      1. Those were the guys who ratted Brady out on those footballs.

      2. They got away with too many men on the field violations??? You would have thought one of them would say something.

      3. Well they get stitches anyway, so it’s a roundabout way of saying the same thing.

    2. He’s trying to steal Jamie Foxx’s thunder.

    3. Was he playing football or Quidditch?

  11. Lamborghini bursts into flames during Florida valet’s joyride

    MIAMI BEACH, Fla., Jan. 20 (UPI) — A valet at a Florida business learned a valuable lesson about joyriding when a customer’s Lamborghini burst into flames in the middle of the road.

    Witnesses who captured photos and videos of the scene Dec. 29 near the Lincoln Road Mall in Miami Beach said the $400,000 sports car caught fire when the driver revved the engine too hard while driving past the crowds of people on Lincoln Road.

    “Guy revving his lambo like an idiot and it catches fire on Lincoln rd. Be safe out there the Bros are in town,” witness Tony Merenda said in an Instagram post.

    Merenda later posted an “update” saying he had learned the car was being taken for a joyride by a valet driver at the time of the fire.

    1. Is he going to have to rev the car in reverse for a while to get the mileage down before his dad sees it?

    2. It’s like that scene in ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ – only more recent…and with a Lambo.

    3. “the $400,000 sports car caught fire when the driver revved the engine too hard while driving past the crowds of people on Lincoln Road.”
      Bull
      .
      .
      .
      shit.
      I have no idea what caused it, but ‘reving the engine’ wouldn’t cause a VW to catch fire, let alone a car with EM software driving the FI.

      1. I’m reasonably certain that I’ve very recently seen another video of one of these catching fire in the same place on the chassis. I’m guessing there’s some manufacturing or design defect that’s responsible which shouldn’t surprise anyone with some familiarity with Italian motor vehicles.

      2. Looks like there’s fluid leakage problems, but nothing about ‘reving’ it:

        “Lamborghini recalls 1,500 Gallardo Coupe and Spyder vehicles due to engine fire risk”
        http://www.nydailynews.com/aut…..-1.1158410
        “Lamborghini Recalls Murcielago Due To Fuel Leak, Fires”
        http://jalopnik.com/5546528/la…..leak-fires

    4. Don’t let Florida Man drive your car.

  12. Detroit teachers ‘sick-out’; the irony is lost on them:

    “Most of Detroit’s public schools close amid teacher sick-out”
    […]
    “Disgruntled Detroit educators have stepped up efforts to protest the governor’s plans for the district, its ramshackle finances, their low pay, dilapidated buildings and overcrowded classrooms.”
    http://bakersfieldnow.com/news…..01-20-2016

    Kinda makes you wonder how it got that way, doesn’t it?

    1. “Fuck you, pay me.”

    2. Bush, Republican emergency managers, racism, inadequate funding, white flight, and Bush.

        1. More BOOOOOOOOOOSH, too!

      1. How could you leave out the REAL culprits, the KKKochspiracy?

    3. It was those awful Republican mayors that Detroit has had for the last several decades

    4. Kinda makes you wonder how it got that way, doesn’t it?

      Cuts, cuts, and more cuts.

  13. Giant snow penis causes headache in Gothenburg

    A penis drawn on a frozen moat in western Sweden has created problems for city park officials.

    The unusual image appeared drawn in snow that fell on top of on ice in Kungsparken (King’s Park) over the weekend.

    Park staff working for Gothenburg City Council who were out cleaning the area were swifly approached by a number of locals who complained that the penis drawing was offensive.

    They decided to see if they could scrub the image out. However after gingerly approaching the ice, they turned back, fearing that it might be too risky in case the frozen water cracked.

    “They judged that the ice would not stay put. They did not dare to go out on to the moat and consequently the artwork is there until thawing weather returns,” Darko Brankovic, director of Gothenburg’s Parks and Landscape Administration (Park- och naturf?rvaltningens organisation och ledning) told Swedish tabloid Aftonbladet.

    1. Too risky to scrub the ice dick? What a bunch of pussies.

      1. Better safe than to go off half-cocked.

    2. “Can’t throw any snow on it, nor break the admittedly fragile ice. Wouldn’t be prudent.”

    3. Just the tip.

    4. Snow penis causes headache

      Someone is eating too fast.

      1. Bravo! I cackled out loud.

    5. Aww, I thought it had caused a physical headache in people.

    6. Nordic problems

    7. “locals who complained that the penis drawing was offensive.”

      Offensive? I bet a vagina would have been just dandy. Their matriarchal microaggresions offend me.

    8. Spray it with a fire-hose.

      1. You really ought to get that checked out.

  14. A Brief History of Swearing in Movies

    Interesting history of cussing on film – and the unsurprising role of the MPAA in stifling speech.

  15. Cheapest gas in America, according to GasBuddy, is in Ohio

    Warning: auto-play video

    There’s a gas station in Ohio pumping gas for $1.21 a gallon.

    That is the cheapest gas in America, according to data collected from customers by GasBuddy.com.

    It’s offered at a United Dairy Farmers in the town of Galloway, about a 15 minute drive southwest of Columbus, Ohio.

      1. 2.01 here in New York.

        1. $1.849 in southern NH when I bought earlier this week.

          1. $167 in Minneapolis.

            1. add a decimal point where needed.

          2. $1.55 earlier this week in Phoenix.

      2. Oh, and that was discounted with my Ralph’s Club rewards.

        My AMEX gives me 3% back on gas, so the joke’s on you, suckers!!!

        1. Are our gas taxes really that high in California? Don’t we have a ton of a fucking refineries? This is bullshit. Though all my cars are fairly full efficient right now, this means no Hellcat for me. I’d probably shoot my eye out anyway.

          1. CA has two refineries, and a handy law saying all the fuel sold here has to come from those two refineries.

            1. I guess that’s a logical arrangement if you’re a socialist sympathizer who thinks free markets and trade are evil.

          2. California requires special gasoline formulations.

            1. But we have such magnificent roadZ! Seriously though, the road quality here is amazing for someone who used to live in Pittsburgh. No salt, no winter will do that I suppose.

              1. the road quality here is amazing for someone who used to live in Pittsburgh

                That is a low bar.

            2. Yeah, there’s a designer gas requirement. Our gas is not fungible with gas from other states.

          3. NY state gas taxes are outrageous too.

          4. 39 cent per gallon state excise. Up to 10% local sales tax, depending on area. 10 cent per gallon “cap and trade” fee. 18.4 cent federal excise.

            Plus some other “clean air fees”, plus the added cost of vacuuming the vapors out of your empty tank if you’re in an urban area.

      3. Just touched 1.79 in some places in Murrlin.

        1. $1.54 in Spotsyltucky if you can get through the double digit accidents on 95 tonight.

          1. Hah, that’s cheaper than over here near the mountains.

            I’ve also heard it called Fredtucky.

            1. I haven’t heard that, though I have been called a Fredneck.

              1. I have also heard that.

    1. Some station in Michigan had it for 49 cents the other day.

    2. Somebody needs to ask Donald Prothero what he thinks about this.

    3. Yeah, I’m about a mile from Galloway. It’s been nice. It borders Columbus. Maybe 15 miles from center of downtown.

    4. 1.60 Denver

    5. $3.40/gallon ($0.90/litre) up here in Canada. What a fucking joke this country is.

      1. $3.40 Canadian or $3.40 US? And is Canadian gas pure or 10% corn juice?

        1. I think Canada uses a 5% ethanol blend.

      1. Holy shit. That’s almost twice as much as I paid on Sunday in Phoenix.

  16. According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, 2015 was the warmest year on record.

    No one believes that. You have to say it’s the third most whatever on record. That’s the key to plausibility.

    1. No one believes that. You have to say it’s the third most whatever on record. That’s the key to plausibility.

      But they’ve done run out of all the thirds and seconds over past ten years. Like the truant kid wanting excuses, there are only so many grandparents that can die.

      1. UAH said exactly that. But no-one ever remembers second place, much less third.

      2. If the old data is warmer, you can always revise it downward.

    2. It all depends on which data series you go with. I’m guessing they went with the worst, most abused one, GISTEMP.

    3. The “warmest year on record” doesn’t mean as much when you realize their records going back to 1880 only go back to 2015. When you can just change “the record” any time you please, they’re really not records any more are they?

  17. Man who bought fake ‘gold’ rings from police auction is advised to call the cops

    A man who spent his life savings on ‘gold rings’ which turned out to be brass was advised to call in the police – but his local force was the seller.

    Justin Kayola thought he had literally struck gold when he bought eight golden coloured rings from a police property auction.

    However, after discovering the jewellery was virtually worthless, several pawnbrokers told him he should report the matter to the police.

    He was denied a refund by Hampshire Constabulary – after being told it was his own fault for splashing out on items which came with a clear warning about their unverified authenticity

    Social worker Mr Kayola spent more than ?600 on the eight rings – which were advertised as having a ‘yellow metal finish’ and markings that were ‘unverified’ – from an auction house website, which specialises in selling lost or seized property from a number of police forces.

    1. So there is still one Nazgul out there somewhere?

      1. Ruth Bader Ginsburg refuses to part with her jewelry.

    2. Life savings? More ant, less grasshopper, dude.

      1. Methinks this is not the first time he’s made a bad investment.

    3. Reminds me of the guy who got a real good deal on a burglar alarm from a police auction. Until he realized “police auction” meant it had already been stolen once.

    4. His “life savings” was 600 pounds?

  18. Someone took their awesome alt-text pills today.

    1. 2nded

  19. New England Patriots linebacker Darius Fleming said he saved a woman from a burning car two days before this weekend’s playoff game and played with 22 snitches.

    Clearly this is a self serving lie. There isn’t a single player on that team that would inform on anyone.

  20. Volvo claims no one will die or be seriously injured in a Volvo by 2020

    I will believe it when I see it.

    Warning: auto-play video

    Volvo has made a shocking pledge: By 2020, no one will be killed or seriously injured in a new Volvo car or SUV.

    Seriously.

    “If you meet Swedish engineers, they’re pretty genuine,” said Lex Kerssemakers, CEO of Volvo Cars North America. “They don’t say things when they don’t believe in it.”

    There is one big caveat. If someone really wants to hurt themselves, or is just really, really stupid… well, Volvo can’t do anything about that. But, assuming you’re not a suicidal maniac or a total idiot, in four years, you’ll be safer driving a new Volvo than you are climbing a ladder to screw in a light bulb.

    1. People *outside* of Volvos, on the other hand…

      1. Hey, it’s either you or them.

    2. That seems like a rather convoluted way of announcing that they’re going out of business.

    3. Volvo’s going out of business?

      1. You won’t have Volvo to get in drunk wrecks with!

    4. Is this the same Volvo that faked safety results back in the 80s?

      1. Geely owns Volvo now.

        Oh wait, that probably doesn’t help matters.

    5. Will anyone be killed in a Vulva? I’m volunteering to try to find out.

      1. Hillary called. She’s awaiting your reply.

        1. This could be the start of a Sugar Free story.

    6. Darwin Award aspirants accept that challenge!

    7. All new Volvos will be configured to forcefully expel the occupants in the event of an accident, so no one will be killed in a Volvo.

    8. How many Volvos does it take to screw in a light bulb?

  21. Eww! New Study Finds Expensive Hotels Have More Germs

    You may not like who you’re sharing your hotel with.

    In a new study titled “Hotel Hygiene Exposed,” finds that the average hotel room is teaming with more icky bacteria than a typical home, airplane, or school. It’s almost enough to tempt a traveling germophobe to sleep on the airport bench instead.

    “We’re definitely not trying to scare anyone,” Emily Pierce, project manager for Travelmath, which conducted the study, tells Yahoo Travel. “We wanted to know just how many bacteria we could find on common surfaces in the hotel rooms.”

    Teams armed with cotton swabs, plastic bags, and strong stomachs tested rooms in nine different hotels. Three-star, four-star and five-star hotels in a variety of locations were included in the study.

    The result? Not only did Travelmath find that hotel rooms had ample populations of those microscopic creepy-crawlies, they discovered that four-star and five-star hotel rooms tend to be dirtier than less luxurious three-star hotels.

    1. There’s nothing to do at three-star hotels, no afternoon tea, no evening cocktails, guests spend little time in their rooms.

      1. Yeah, that never made sense to me. I’d rather be outside getting disinfected by UV rays.

        I usually stay next door to the Four Seasons in Maui. I actually feel sorry for those assholes.

    2. four-star and five-star hotel rooms tend to be dirtier than less luxurious three-star hotels.

      But those microscopic creepy-crawlies are higher-class organisms.

  22. Say what you want about Bacha Khan University, they got a great Fight Song!

    1. Bacha Khan doesn’t feel for you.

      1. Bravo!

  23. The robot revolution will take 5 million jobs from humans

    The “Fourth Industrial Revolution” is already underway, according to a report from the World Economic Forum, which is focusing on how technological change is reshaping the workplace and global economies at its meeting this week in Davos, Switzerland. Developments in fields including robotics, big data, and artificial intelligence will change workplaces and the required different skills from workers in the years to come, according to “The Future of Jobs” report.

    Not everyone will be impacted equally, with the report concluding that the jobs most at risk are office and administrative roles. Other industries with negative job outlooks include manufacturing and production, the arts and entertainment, construction and extraction, and installation and maintenance. Overall, automation and robotics will cause 5.1 million job losses over the next five years, the researchers found.

    “As entire industries adjust, most occupations are undergoing a fundamental transformation,” wrote World Economic Forum founder Klaus Schwab and managing board member Richard Samans in the report. “While some jobs are threatened by redundancy and others grow rapidly, existing jobs are also going through a change in the skill sets required to do them.”

    1. Uhhh. This is not the experience of automation thus far.

      1. Oh yeah? Well if there’s no crisis then what are all those experts and Top Men meeting about at Davos, smart guy?

    2. So I am guess about 4.7 million of these jobs will be sex workers?

    3. What do you mean ‘take’ jobs from humans?

    4. And there is never any way those jobs will be replaced, that automation will free up resources for entire new industries that require new employees, or than anything can result from this but a 4-million strong roving hoard of formerly productive and civic-minded workers turned feral and – POSSIBLY!! – cannibal.

      Bar yourself in your home and don’t come out!!!!!

      Fucking fear-mongering idiots. What kind of fucking luddite actually BELIEVES this shit?!?!

    5. Robotarian Moment.

    6. I believe a lot of people have a difficult time conceptualizing what this automization looks like. It isn’t a few C3PO androids sitting at desks doing what 12 humans used to do. It’s more like 2 humans trained on a HR, accounting, marketing, etc software package doing what 12 people used to do. Making and marketing that software isn’t going to be creating a lot of jobs.

      1. It’s nothing to worry about.

        We just raise the minimum wage to $50 and everyone will still have a liveable wage.

    7. No more fucking immigrants from Robonia. Make America great!

      1. It’s a land you didn’t make up.

  24. New England Patriots linebacker Darius Fleming said he saved a woman from a burning car two days before this weekend’s playoff game and played with 22 snitches.

    What, he’s trying to oneup Jamie Foxx?

    Burning car rescues seem to be a thing.

  25. you’ll always be a planet to me

    1. Well that’s embarrassing. The squirrels ate half of my comment.

      1. They ate the half that would have embarrassed you.

        1. Pluto didn’t cut it so the next one should be named Goofy.

  26. The Hunting Ground Is Shifting the Culture on Campuses

    The Hunting Ground, a breakthrough documentary directed by Kirby Dick and produced by Amy Ziering, has uncovered the epidemic of sexual assault and rape on America’s college campuses and the efforts by college officials to suppress these cases. The film has been screened at more than almost 1000 universities, high schools, government offices and community centers — awakening the nation to this pressing issue. Screening the film in communities throughout the country has created a national conversation among students, parents, administrators, government and media, resulting in a wake up call, demanding a cultural change.

    Despite the white noise campaign to discredit the film, there has been tremendous and unprecedented progress in new campus policies and regulations. The backlash claims that some of the campus rape date was exaggerated or simply false has been disproved over and over again. In fact, just recently the one-in-five college sexual assault statistic has been validated in a new poll by the Washington Post and Kaiser Family Foundation.
    Students on campuses across the United States are contributing to an inevitable transformation whereby more respectful environments can be fostered…

    1. Merlan
      Erdely
      The Hunting Ground

    2. Ah, so we’re “validating” statistical methodologies with Washington Post polls now, huh?

      Sounds right…

      1. Well, we hate science so…….

        1. Science IS an asshole, Bear.

    3. In other news, the Protocols of the Elders of Zion i shifting the culture on campus. The breakthrough expose of the world wide Jewish conspiracy has resulted in unprecedented progress in containing the conspiracy and new campus policies and regulations to deal with the Jewish menace.

      1. Well that is certainly what the Muslim Students Association and the BDS crowd would like people to think.

        Just as an experiment, I challenge anyone to visit the Hillel or Chabad house at their nearest University. Then visit the Muslim Students Association meetings. That is all the proof one needs as to who the real villains are in the middle east.

    4. Despite the white noise campaign to discredit the film

      You hear that Reason?
      “White noise” = RAYCISSSS!11

    5. “In fact, just recently the one-in-five college sexual assault statistic has been validated in a new poll by the Washington Post and Kaiser Family Foundation.”

      Jeebus, it’s safer for a gal to be in Cologne on New Years Eve than it is to go to college in the USA.

  27. This Day in History

    1801 – John Marshall was appointed Chief Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court

    1841 – As a result of the First Opium War, Hong Kong was ceded to the British.

    1942 – The Nazis formulated their “Final Solution” regarding the Jews at the Wannsee Conference.

    1964 – The Beatles released their first album in the United States, Meet the Beatles.

    1981 – 52 American hostages seized from the American Embassy in Tehran were released after 444 days in captivity.

    1981 – President Reagan became the oldest president to take office (69 years and 349 days).

    1986 – Martin Luther King, Jr., day was celebrated as a federal holiday for the first time.

    2009 – Hundreds of thousands of people watched in front of the Capitol as President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden are sworn into office. Obama makes history as the first African-American U.S. president.

    2012 – Singer Etta James died less than a week before her 74th birthday.

    1. #1 is the not. John Marshall was nominated to the Supreme Court on 1801, but the nomination wasn’t confirmed by the Senate for another week.

    2. 1942 – The Nazis formulated their “Final Solution” regarding the Jews at the Wannsee Conference.2012 – Singer Etta James died less than a week before her 74th birthday.

      Two of the saddest events in human history happened on the same day.
      I know I like to Goodwin things up, but seriously, a moment of silence, please.

  28. Okay folks, the wait is over. Here is an exclusive clip from the forthcoming movie about the Obamas’ first date…

    http://www.insideedition.com/h…..heir-lives

    1. They’re making a movie about that?

      *retches*

      1. Do you always retch when you get a leg tingle?

    2. I think I mentioned it here: I did color correction on the trailer. I couldn’t believe it when I saw it, and laughed every few minutes I was working on it. “Oh, now he’s in a church, delivering an inspirational speech? Sure, why not.”

  29. Is everyone still sure that peak derp cannot be reached?

    Why is Bernie so unreasonable

    1. Coates is making it his mission in life to ensure we never do. My God is he a hateful idiot. As loathsome as he is, his white readers are worse. He is just a racist who figured out how to make being so a career. What excuse do the white people who support him have?

      1. Progs think he’s the greatest thing since Marx.

        1. And he hates their guts and want them and their children and their children’s children punished for the crime of being born white. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people?

          1. He doesn’t hate them any more than they hate themselves, so it’s all good.

          2. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with these people?

            I believe it to be very much related to the psychological process that led that Paki kid to cut off his own hand to punish himself for blasphemy….

            I am increasingly of the opinion that the proggies are emotionally stunted and thus incapable of contemplating unpleasant truths with nuance and maturity. So you get lots of tantrums and splitting.

            1. The entire progressive project is built on the rejection of the idea that there is no free lunch.

      2. Coates dresses up the same old racist anti-white bullshit with new pseudo-intellectual trappings and also has an unusual non-white name, so white-guilt-ridden proggies adore him

    2. Reparations is not one possible tool against white supremacy. It is the indispensable tool against white supremacy.

      Oppose reparations? You must be a white supremacist.

      Coates is a fuckstick.

      1. So once reparations are meted out… that’s it? What about reparations in Europe? Does Ireland need to pay reparations to whatever black Irish live on the island? Or is Ireland not a white supremacist nation?

        I don’t recall any specifics of his proposal (I think because he’s never given specifics), but I’m guessing he ultimately views reparations as a continuing project. Innocent generations of white folk must give money to non-harmed generations of dark skin folk. That’ll work.

    3. if Bernie Sanders truly believes that victims of the Tulsa pogrom deserved nothing, that the victims of contract lending deserve nothing, that the victims of debt peonage deserve nothing, that that political plunder of black communities entitle them to nothing…

      I think those people deserve(d) something, including compensation for injustices committed against them. Just not taken from people who didn’t have a thing to do with, such as myself.

    4. When genius grant winner Ta-Nehisi Coates speaks, you racists better listen.

    5. There was actually a reasonably intelligent response to this on CNN earlier today:
      http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/20/…..index.html

      1. A passage in Coates’ “Between the World and Me” illuminates the kind of problem in historiography we are dealing with. Coates depicts belligerent young black men committing crimes as “girding themselves against the ghost of the bad old days when the Mississippi mob gathered ’round their grandfathers so that the branches of the black body might be torched, then cut away.”

        Can Coates really be that stupid? He thinks black men are joining gangs and committing crimes and such because of some memory of Mississippi lynch mobs?

        1. He believes in racial memory?

        2. Post traumatic slave syndrome!

          /derp

      2. McWhorter, on politics, is someone that I will agree with for the first 75 percent of the article, and then the last 25 percent goes completely of the rails for me. Reverse that for McWhorter’s polemics against the weak version of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis.

      3. McWhorter just had to toss in that “Fox News” dig for street cred, didn’t he? Altogether, a very good response although I’d like to see the following discussed:

        1. What is the amount that every provable descendant of an African slave should be paid and what criteria is used to determine the amount?
        2. Once paid that amount, are we “done” with this whole issue?

        A horribly cynical part of me thinks that the answer to “1” is “you could never put a number on it” just so the answer to “2” is “we will never be done with this issue.”

        1. 3. Who is responsible to pay it and why ?

          Don’t forget that one, it’s kinda important.

    6. I saw Donald Trump on TV calling Bernie Sanders a whacko. Had Donald Trump then criticized Bernie Sanders’ hair, they would right now be scraping my brains off the walls. Are you kidding me? Donald Trump calling Bernie Sanders a whacko is like ….. Donald Trump calling Bernie Sanders a whacko. I’m sorry, but there is no other comparison I can make. There is a no-shit for real deranged person running for President of this country right now. If Donald Trump were to right now beat Jeb! to death with his shoe, there is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that he would be found mentally unfit to stand trial.

      Whatever you might think of how “refreshing” it is to hear somebody like Trump “telling it like it is”, the man talks that way because he’s suffered some sort of brain damage. He needs help. It’s not a laughing matter. There is something seriously, medically, physiologically wrong with Trump. Seriously, if your grandmother showed up at the dinner table just babbling nonsense, spewing every random thought that popped into her head, obviously no mental filters of any sort on what comes out of her mouth, no sense at all of how one thought connects to another in normal conversation, suffering delusions of grandeur, you’d take her to a hospital somewhere, wouldn’t you? I’m telling you now – at some point soon, Donald J. Trump is going to start talking about having conversations with God, and he will not be joking.

      1. This country is in bad shape and there’s a man offering to make it great again. He makes it sound easy, because all our troubles stem from a failure of will, those people in the country next door who have taken what’s rightfully ours, the people of that religion, those people across the sea who have imposed such hardship upon us. Sure, he says some crazy stuff, but he doesn’t really mean it, it’s just political hyperbole.

        All that’s missing is the future film of an old woman standing in the street outside the camp gates weeping, “Forgive us, we didn’t know. As God is my witness, we didn’t know.”

        1. Did you feel as strongly as when mcCain called the Tea Party “whacko birds ” ?

          Trump isn’t spewing nonsense. By now he has plenty of people helping him with what to say he just still says it in his own way.

  30. Mpls. ‘Cuddle Party’ Chapter Teaches Communication, Boundaries

    Cuddling releases oxytocin, our feel-good hormone made in the brain, reducing blood pressure and stress.

    Good cuddling releases more than that.

    1. It’s all fun and games until someone gets a boner. Then it’s just fun.

      1. I don’t think you watched the video. No boners. Except for Crusty, maybe.

        1. I didn’t. I didn’t even read the article.

          1. I watched the video. I made it about 1 minute. It was worse than I thought.

    2. I was recently a part of two spontaneous cuddle parties. It was nice. AND NOTHING ELSE HAPPENED, YOU SICK FUCKS!

      1. Were there puppies involved? SHOW US PICTURES OF THE PUPPIES!

        1. There were no puppies.

          1. Were there a bunch of fat old women involved like in Minneapolis?

      2. You might consider Cialis for daily use!

    3. oxytocin

      That sounds like oxycontin! Ban it, for the children!

    4. One of the many reasons I ended up staying in Japan –

      Every Japanese woman I ended up spending any time with was totally cool with the fact that “let’s cuddle” actually means “let’s fuck without me having to put it in such crass wording”.

  31. Remember kids, its Trump supporters who are the violent fascists.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/…..-professor

    1. BURN THAT STRAWMAN JOHN!!!!

      BURN IT!!!!!!

      1. So Trump isn’t a fascist now? Is he or is he not a fascist and by extension his supporters? Haven’t you spent hours on here trying to explain the fascist threat that is Trump and his supporters? And now saying Trump is a fascist is a strawman?

        WTF? Have you gone insane?

        1. I just hope that when he’s president he deports Cytotoxic. Make Murika great again!

          1. Stop trying to make me a Trump supporter Hyperion. That is dirty pool.

        2. Trump is a fascist, whether or not his supporters are beating people up.

          And, I can’t think of anyone commenting here (other than possibly Tony) who has advanced the notion that the progressive left isn’t champing at the bit to engage in political violence.

          But carry on building and burning those strawmen! I’m sure that it makes you feel very productive.

          1. Sorry but the use of political violence is essential to fascism. The fact that you admit neither Trump nor his supporters are violent just shows how badly you are devaluing the word when you apply it to Trump.

            Yeah, parts of the left really are fascists and embrace political violence. That fact makes your ridiculous panic over Trump that much more absurd.

            1. Sorry but the use of political violence is essential to fascism.

              Since when? Did Franco stop being fascist when Spain became stable?

              Did Hitler cease being a fascist after the night of the long knives once all the mobs had been incorporated into the state bureaucracy?

              Not all political violence is mob violence. Nor does fascism require extrajudicial violence as a precondition to exist.

              1. So in all fairness to both John and Tarran, part of the problem is that fascism really doesn’t have one consistent ideology. About the only thing Franco, Mussolini and Hitler had in common was that:

                The state is more important than the individual,
                They aren’t “capitalists”,
                They aren’t “communists”.

                So is Trump a fascist? who the hell knows.

                1. If you torture the word enough bear, anyone is a fascist. The problem is that the word has taken on such pejorative connotations that using it the way Tarran would like to to describe anyone who embraces any kind of corporate view of government is profoundly dishonest. Tarran calls Trump and his supporters “fascist” knowing that almost no one has the hackneyed view of the term he does and they will assume the worse. It is is his way of slandering people while maintaining deniability. When called he just says “well I didn’t meant hey were that kind of fascist” as if he wasn’t full well the connotation of the term.

                  And he is screaming like a stuck pig because I am calling his bullshit.

                2. “So is Trump a fascist? who the hell knows.”

                  Where’s Paul Gottfried when we need him?

              2. Since forever. And Franco used mob violence to both take and maintain power. And once Franco was in power, he had one hell of a nasty secret police that he used to terrorize his political opponents.

                Basicallly, you have adopted the Prog definition of fascism which is “a big meanie I don’t like”. It is ahistoric nonsense.

              3. Franco didn’t stop being violent. Nor did Hitler

                All ‘stable’ means in a fascistic society is that the threat of political violence suffices to keep the opposition cowed.

          2. John’s denial of Trump’s fascism is one fascist covering for another.

            1. Shut up you retard. The adults are talking. We know your an idiot. Its Tarran we are trying to save.

              1. Shut up you retard. The adults are talking. We know your an idiot.

                John responded, without any hint of irony.

                1. Yeah, Juggler. I am a lot smarter than you are. What about it? I am sorry God dealt the cards that way but being angry about it isn’t going to help.

                  1. John, he was making a you’re/your joke.

                  2. Yeah, Juggler. I am a lot smarter than you are. What about it? I am sorry God dealt the cards that way but being angry about it isn’t going to help.

                    Hulk smash!

                    1. Yeah, Juggler. I am a lot smarter than you are.

                      And he couldn’t put that on the internet if it wasn’t true!

                    2. Just don’t be angry juggler.

                  3. Oh John you are nothing if not the Otto of H&R.

                    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5IQnQhzMSI

        3. Trump is a fascist. As far as I know, his supporters are merely dupes.

    2. I love how “First Amendment enthusiast” is supposed to be a slur.

    3. Rasmussen continued: “I’m OK ? I’d be fine if we brought back the guillotine and cut off the Koch brothers’ heads. That would be OK with me. I think that would be OK.” He added that protesters occupying public spaces should have the right to shut out the media because “with Occupy Wall Street, a lot of us lefties learned that if you give open access to the media, some people with an agenda will try to find people in your camp who will say ridiculous things and make it look like your whole group [supports those stances].”

      The Koch brothers really grind gears, and all of this shit is just starting.

      1. Here’s a picture of our little milquetoast cum revolutionary.

        The man looks like he would shit his pants if a phonebook fell on the floor.

        1. Like most progressives who talk about a war against the conservative meanies, he’ll be hiding under his bed until it’s over.

        2. Looks like a pedophile.

          1. Well, it is within the realm of possibility that former First Ward Columbia City Council candidate Rob Rasmussen is a pedophile who becomes sexually aroused at violent images of pre-teen children being tortured in a sexualized manner; however, there has yet to be conclusive evidence found that former First Ward Columbia City Council candidate Rob Rasmussen is a pedophile who becomes sexually aroused at violent images of pre-teen children being tortured in a sexualized manner. Therefore, we cannot say if or if not former First Ward Columbia City Council candidate Rob Rasmussen is a pedophile who becomes sexually aroused at violent images of pre-teen children being tortured in a sexualized manner. Do you believe that former First Ward Columbia City Council candidate Rob Rasmussen is a pedophile who becomes sexually aroused at violent images of pre-teen children being tortured in a sexualized manner? Because it is possible that there are some individuals who do believe that former First Ward Columbia City Council candidate Rob Rasmussen is a pedophile who becomes sexually aroused at violent images of pre-teen children being tortured in a sexualized manner.

            1. +google search results.

            2. For the record, I am not Rob Rasmussen.

        3. Is he actually eating his upper lip?

        4. Eh, Trotsky and Lenin didn’t look like much, either.

          On the other hand, I was surprised to find out young Dzershinsky looked like Hawkeye from Avengers movies!

      2. I seriously almost face-desked at this guys lack of awareness. “We’re cool with repressing the media because when they get access they make us look, you know, whacky and stuff. Now, back to my thoughts on frogmarching those Koch Brothers to the guillotine…”

      3. So I take it Rasmussen supports those terrorists occupying a public building in Oregon.

      4. Those damn gay-marriage loving Koch Bros!1111!!!!!

    1. If this plays out like the MySpace acquisition, this would be the death knell for Twitter’s popularity, and on those grounds, I am 100% for it.

  32. All damn day yesterday every time I turned on NPR there was snippet of Koch Hate. The whole Koch as bogeyman seems so insane to me. Reason, as a tentacle of the KOCHtopus, you are part of an evil far-right conspiracy to rape mother earth. That’s the word on NPR anywho.

    1. I don’t know what you mean.

      http://www.npr.org/2016/01/19/…..t=20160119

    2. People are pretty good. To geta majority or even a significant minority of them to hurt other people you have to give them a reason that is compelling. And totalitarian movements throughout history have shown that the best way to get that majority or significant majority is to convince those people that they are the victims of the group being targetted.

      The maoists painted the intellectuals as the victimizers of the peasants.

      The Nazis painted the trade unionists, jews, commies and gays.

      The commies of course claimed that the bourgeois and the land owners were the enemy.

      And the best enemies are ones that are both highly visible and won’t fight back either because of principles or inability.

      And the Koch brothers make a great target of hate for the totalitarians of the left.

    3. How long before Trump/Koch links are exposed? Or does Citizens United prevents shining the light onto dark, vast and endless Fascist Conspiracy?

    4. What I don’t understand about the hysteria over “big money in politics” is this: if “radical right-wingers” are pouring unfathomable sums of money into politics, how did someone like Obama win twice? How does Bernie Sanders have as much exposure? How come Republicans (or worse – Libertarians!!) don’t control every single elected position from coast to coast?

      If those evil Koch brothers are trying to buy every American election, they’re doing an awfully poor job of it.

  33. Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer said there are going to be no layoffs ‘this week’

    Word of the gaffe has been “spreading like wildfire” through Silicon Valley, another insider said, calling it the latest example of a chronically tone-deaf CEO in a crisis.

    Indeed, some in the audience laughed precisely because “she wasn’t trying to be funny,” according to the second source. “She was trying to make us believe it.”

    What a trainwreck.

    1. Taking that job was a poor decision. Yahoo never had established a money generation scheme that actually worked for any period of time.

      1. I’m still not even sure what they do.

        1. They own part of AliBaba.

          1. Not anymore. The only thing they have done correctly is sell that stake at the right time.

            1. No, they do. Selling it would have incurred massive tax liabilities and the IRS blueballed them over their spinoff plan.

              Now investors want them to sell their core business, leaving “Yahoo” as Yahoo’s stake in Alibaba and Yahoo Japan (which is a separate, successful company).

        2. They run the world’s shittiest free email service.

          1. This. I’m still trying to get my wife off that email address. I hate Yahoo Mail.

          2. I personally hate gmail.

              1. Tell me something I don’t know.

                BE MORE ORIGINAL.

            1. But it’s gotta a great search feature!

        3. They Yahoo?

        4. They host Reason’s fantasy football league.

      2. A poor decision but unsurprising. Mayer was overhyped long before she left for Yahoo.

    2. That is a strange ingredient for success.

    1. What is a guillotine but an antique woodchipper albeit with less utility?

    2. Damn… I thought it was gonna be a link to analog tic-tac-toe.

  34. So is a global gov’t preferable to a national one?
    Mos Def thinks so:

    “Mos Def to face trial for ‘breaching South Africa’s immigration laws’ after trying to leave country using ‘world passport'”
    […]
    “Homie’s in the building/
    So’s my wife and my children./
    I’ve committed no crime./
    Why is the state wasting their time?/
    They must be outta their minds./”
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..sport.html

    1. I’ve found a lot of rappers have an interesting philosophy. It’s so close to small government, nap, and close community communism and then at the same time a bigger Government. Dead Prez also does this. As does killer mike.

  35. Gawker Media: Company Sells Minority Stake to Investment Company Amid Hulk Hogan Legal Battle

    Hogan is suing Gawker for defamation over its sex tape release in 2012. Gawker told the New York Times that the investment from Columbus Nova Technology Partners was to help fund the lawsuit.

    1. Is it too much to dream that the Hulkster might win?

      1. I hear he’s a racist, so ipso facto that’d make any well-wisher a racist too.

      2. If he starts doing the head shake during the trial, run.

  36. Verizon Wireless: Company Launches Beta Testing of Sponsored Data Service

    The FreeBee Data program allows users to see sponsored content without having it count towards their data usage. The paid-for content program has been criticized by proponents of net neutrality.

    Salty, salty net neutrality tears.

    1. Sooooo, Netzero?

      1. Not at all. Netzero had aggravating redirects to third-party ads. This is still giving you the content you want, but the content provider is paying your data bill for it.

    1. FINALLY A CAUSE WORTHY OF OUR POLITICAL MIGHT!!!

  37. Question & Comment Time With Cytotoxic: today’s topic is P2P arbitrage. A lot of countries have outrageous tariffs and other barriers that makes things like electronics a lot more expensive. Why isn’t there a gray-market equivalent to Silk Road for mailing (or smuggling) these items to people in these countries in exchange for cryptocurrency? Is there but I just don’t know of it?

    1. Answer: Cologne, Germany

  38. Jace Alexander: Law & Order Director Pleads Guilty to Child Pornography Charges in New York, Report Says

    Alexander pleaded guilty to promoting a sexual performance by a child and possessing an obscene performance by a child after digital files were found in his home, The Associated Press reports.

  39. World Shocked, Terrified to Learn that 3 Other Eagles Remain Alive

    “For a minute people felt the horror was finally over” said one confused citizen, “Then someone said, “No, that wasn’t the “All She Wants to Do is Dance” guy at all. And apparently there’s one named “Bernie” no one knew about. I don’t know what to tell the children.”

    1. You know who else is alive?

        1. I’m retracting this and replacing it with Jeff Lynne because its just too…. something. That is how I want my funeral to look.

          1. Little known fact, Jeff Lynne remade himself as country entertainer Eddie Rabbit, no one noticed.

            Fact.

            1. that look was bigger than the faux-hawk of the early-2000s.

              that said, i love a rainy night.

              1. Such a beautiful sight.

      1. Kirk Douglas?

      2. Lou Reed?

  40. One of the local electrical utilities near us (I am an engineer at a Nuke plant in the Midwest) is advertising to their customers that for a fee, the company can guarantee that 15% of the electricity supplied will be generated by wind.

    My hatred for this company screwing their customers is rivalled only by the stupidity of their customers!!

    *Maybe I will patent a switch that detects “wind” electrons and diverts them to another circuit.

    1. The catholic church used to run that scam

      1. And they built St Peters and funded the careers of Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael and a lot of other people. What the hell are these clowns going to have to show for their “indulgence racket”?

  41. This excellent article from Cooke reads as an autopsy on the Tea Party movement and accurately describes the yokels infesting this board.

    Talk to a Palin fan and you will be told in a matter of moments that to oppose her is to oppose “real America.” Talk to a Trump fan, and you will be told that to knock him is to knock “We the people” ? of which, it is made abundantly clear, you are no longer a valued part.

    The ending is brutally accurate.

    All that talk of the Constitution and the Declaration; all that energy expended against the cronies and the rent-seekers; all those purifying voter drives ? and for what? So that Sarah Palin could add a few zeroes to her bank balance and Donald Trump could go from the purchaser to the bought? Today was the day that Rick Santelli’s famous yelp finally melted into populism and avarice. Today, at about ten minutes past six, P. T. Barnum beat out Hayek for the soul of the insurgent Right. Today, the rebels became the charlatans they had set out to depose. What comes next will be anybody’s guess.

    Read more at: http://www.nationalreview.com/…..&tid=23105

    1. Dial it down a smidge, crumpet-stuffer.

      1. Give him a break. He is still busy trying to find the real rapists in Cologne. He is totally sure the refugees had nothing to do with it and those lying German bitches were just causing problems.

      2. Cyto’s just nervous because he saw the latest polls. He doesn’t want el presidente Trump to deport him because it’s too easy to pick him out of those Mexicans on the landscaping crew.

        1. If you deport the pasty white dude from Canada, there is no danger of anyone filing a claim of racial discrimination. The ICE agents will totally go for him and leave the rest of the crew alone. Worse still, the rest of the crew will likely turn him in. Even if you don’t understand much English, there is only so much Ayn Rand you can take.

        2. Sheesh, two of you? I was addressing Cooke.

          We all know Cyto won’t dial it down for a while, at least not until he reaches his mid-20s. Then he might start reflecting on how childish he used to act. But we still have years of this.

          1. The Palin thing is not some big betrayal. It is just Palin sticking it to the GOP after they let the media tear her apart and didn’t do anything to defend. Hell, if I were Palin, I would endorse Trump too. Fuck the GOP and their court shills at National Review. Palin doesn’t owe those assholes any loyalty.

            1. And what about her principles? No matter how batty you may or may not think she is, ostensibly she stood with the original Tea Party principles of aggressively slashing the scope of government and reducing taxes. Who in their right mind says to themselves, “you know who I think would really be a sober mind and measured hand when placed in the position of chief executive of the United States? Donald Trump.”

              It’s not about betrayal of other pols or talking heads. Cooke’s point is she’s a fucking sellout to the conservative principles she told America for years were her muscle, bone and fiber.

              1. Amended:

                OR, she has been and will be just as big as a huckster charlatan as Trump.

              2. Those are all good points. The problem is that it is a bit hard to stomach a lecture on “conservative principles’ from the same people who supported McCain and Romney and told us Paul Ryan was a “real conservative”. The same people who have spent the last 15 years telling conservatives they have to compromise their principles and support the latest establishment crap weasel are now shocked that Sarah Palin isn’t standing by her principles? It is laughable.

              3. John does not understand the concept of principles.

            2. Oh FFS. It’s Palin staying in the news and getting paid.

              I know she’s pretty, John, and the media was mean to her, but get a clue.

              1. MJGreen,

                Why shouldn’t she get paid and stay in the media? Good for her. Why does she owe the GOP and especially the assholes at NRO anything? She is doing what is best for her and I don’t blame her.

                1. Thanks for the fascist take John.

          2. I hope when he does, he doesn’t swing to the other extreme, like some do. A deeply religious Canuckistani nationalist will be just as much of a party pooper.

          3. Dial it down? I barely post here.

        3. “Cyto’s just nervous because he saw the latest polls. He doesn’t want el presidente Trump to deport him because it’s too easy to pick him out of those Mexicans on the landscaping crew.”

          The polls are clear that President Trump will never do any such thing because that will never be.

    2. Tell us where the Trump supporters who live in your closet touched you. Just use the doll and point if you have to.

    3. I know I shouldn’t delve into the comments on Cooke’s and Williamson’s pieces about Trump but it’s so difficult not to. Like not looking at a trainwreck, it just can’t be done.

      And the intellectual carnage displayed in those comments by Trumpistas is quite possibly more depressing than a scene in which I know people have ACTUALLY died.

      1. I like both Cooke and Williamson. But they are stuck working for a publication that pissed away all its credibility shilling for McCain and Romney.

        Cooke and Williamson, like their college Jonah Goldberg, just don’t get it that Trump supporters hate them. It is not about Trump being a conservative. It is about telling people like Cooke and Williamson to fuck off. The peasants are revolting.

        1. 100% agree with this. Some people just want to see the world burn.

          1. Pretty much. Trump supporters want an end to the PC culture and they want everyone in Washington to suffer. That is really all there is to it.

            Long term, Trump could create a real opportunity for Libertarians if they are smart enough to see it. The real effect of Trump is going to be that he is going to prove the media has no power anymore and they can’t just declare statements and positions they don’t like beyond the pale. Since every Libertarian position is considered unmentionable and kept out of the public debate as a result, ending the media monopoly on the national conversation would be the best thing that ever happened to libertarians.

          2. And most of the comments I can see seem to be of the “fuck you we know he is not a conservative but don’t care” variety.

            1. Yes, they are illiterate unprincipled fucks who aren’t capable of high-level thinking. Like you.

              1. Hey, Cyto’s a corpse-fucker, what a shock.

  42. Man, I’m in such a good mood today. I grin from ear to ear every time I think about the fact that the clock is officially ticking on Mofo’s final year in office!

    1. I’d be grinning if not for most of probable replacements.

      1. Trump, Cruz, Clinton, Sanders…. it’s the first election that has me truly scared.

    2. He can do a lot of damage in 365 days and I’m sure he will, with Ryan’s help.

    3. Have you sought professional help? My cousin is supposed to be an excellent psychiatrist, maybe she’ll give you a free session.

  43. This Vermont bill would let police look through your cell phone without a warrant

    The potential for abuse here is huge, and that worry is compounded for Vermonters by the fact that the bill’s sponsor, State Representative Martin LaLonde (D-South Burlington), says he hasn’t “really thought about” (actual quote) exactly what his own proposal would allow police to do.

    1. That’s a strangely honest politician.

  44. Local Florida Cuisine, Grooming Habits Threatened by Oppressive Regulatory State

    “WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. (AP) ? Authorities say a South Florida man beheaded a dog and duck outside his suburban apartment.

    Media outlets report that Palm Beach County deputies responded to the home Tuesday evening and found 28-year-old Javier Orelly digging a hole next to a headless dog. An arrest report says a neighbor had called 911, saying Orelly was kicking and throwing the dog around near a shrine in front of the apartment.

    After changing his story several times, Orelly reportedly told deputies that he sacrificed the dog because he was stressed and needed to “cleanse himself.””

    1. I clicked through hoping to find out details about the shrine, but there were none.

    2. “I don’t practice Santaria”

  45. I’ve been a fan of this site and the commentariat for a year now. Just wanted to say thank you for all the good discussions even when I don’t agree. I’m especially glad that ya’ll can have said discussion and not resort to name calling for the most part. /baconeate r/libertarian /conservative /yokeltarian /independent /don’t try to fit me into a group because you don’t like my view /lover /warty dungeon cell prisoner /thinker

    1. You are just singaling.

      1. singaling? like single for a night? I didn’t know you cared John.

        1. ?
          Singaling,

          Singaling!?

          Soon it will be Christmas day!
          ?

  46. Astronomers say they’ve found evidence of a ninth planet. Not Pluto.

    This one will be called planet “Goofy”

    According to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, 2015 was the warmest year on record.

    “The manipulated data does not lie.”

    In a rally in Oklahoma, Sarah Palin appeared to blame President Obama for her son’s domestic violence incident.

    Not the first time a president is blamed for something he failed to do.

    Quentin Tarantino explains the Quentin Tarantino movie universe.

    It’s all cut ears from here.

    The government of Austria said it would cut the cap for asylum seekers in half this year and institute “massive” new border controls.

    I guess the Austrian government believed all those lying whores who claim to have been touched and raped by the no-threat-posing Muslim refugees we have been hearing about.

    1. It is terrible Mexican. But don’t worry, Cytoxic is on the case. He is going to find the real rapists and exonerate those poor refugees.

      1. I am still chuckling at the embarrassing situation the Reason staff endured after so many assurances from them that the refugees will pose no threat to anybody… and then came the New Year’s Eve surprise.

        But all those women are nothing more than racist whores (the 120 of them, accepted by the obfuscating Media) who cannot come to terms to accepting other cultures as equal to ours.

        1. Funny how they stopped talking about the refugee issue isn’t it?

  47. So, how did you guys observe Lysander Spooner’s birthday yesterday?

    Wait, don’t tell me you forgot his birthday, you’re *so* going to be in the doghouse!

    1. Lee’s birthday was more important.

    2. January 19th became Lysander Spooner’s birthday long before I was born. Since I never personally agreed to January 19th being Lysander Spooner’s birthday, it is immoral to require me to treat January 19th as Lysander Spooner’s birthday.

    3. I thought his birthday was copyrighted and his heirs would charge me if I brought it up.

    4. I went to work. Is that not the appropriate way to observe his birthday?

  48. A community college in Portland has declared April as “White History Month”. I know they intend it to be a negative event. I will celebrate it positively just to annoy them.

    1. Celebrate with Wonderbread and mayonnaise sandwiches, some brie, wash it down with some Chardonnay.

      Sounds like a party to me.

      1. Don’t forget to bring the meth.

        1. Methodists. Don’t forget to bring the Methodists.

          1. Are they truly the whitest of religion?

      2. Would having a black fly in my chardonnay at White History Month be ironic?

        1. Only to a Canadian.

  49. “All that talk of the Constitution and the Declaration; all that energy expended against the cronies and the rent-seekers; all those purifying voter drives ? and for what? So that Sarah Palin could add a few zeroes to her bank balance and Donald Trump could go from the purchaser to the bought? Today was the day that Rick Santelli’s famous yelp finally melted into populism and avarice. Today, at about ten minutes past six, P. T. Barnum beat out Hayek for the soul of the insurgent Right. Today, the rebels became the charlatans they had set out to depose. What comes next will be anybody’s guess.”

    This is essentially what I was told by one of the local
    Tea Party leaders yesterday. He’s appalled at the number of
    his fellow tea partiers who have abandoned all their stated principles of 2009 and
    now lick Trump’s (and Pallin’s) arse. This time, he promises he’s voting for Gary J.

  50. All the while Man-Bear-Pig is hibernating, in his million dollar Nashville den.
    Waking occasionally, to sip coco and watch the local weather report. Maybe take in a farm video.
    Oh well .. baaaack to sleep..

  51. My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do..

    Click This Link inYour Browser….

    ? ? ? ? http://www.WorkPost30.com

  52. Stock prices do not drop because of uncertainty. People liquidate stocks when they can certainly see a trainwreck coming. Herbert Hoover used the IRS to confiscate people’s assets back when the Republicans were banning condoms and beer. Same thing when George Holy War Bush preached the death sentence for marijuana kingpins. Then George Warmonger Bush opened another orgy of asset forfeiture and blam! Like children jumping off the railroad tracks, securities holders liquidated their holdings before the depression arrived and the Fed used the UN to export the same idiotic laws via treaties to the rest of the world. People get the looter parties they voted for and deserve.

  53. I’ve made $76,000 so far this year working online and I’m a full time student.I’m using an online business opportunity I heard about and I’ve made such great money.It’s really user friendly and I’m just so happy that I found out about it.

    Open This LinkFor More InFormation..

    ??????? http://www.Jobstribune.com

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