Ted Cruz Targets Donald Trump, Al-Jazeera America Shutting Down, 1800s Shipwreck Found During Search for Malaysia Flight 370: P.M. Links

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  • atsb

    For the first time Ted Cruz targeted fellow Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump directly this week, saying the real estate mogul 'embodies New York values.'

  • The small town of Nipton, California is getting a lot of Powerball business because it sits right next to Nevada, one of just six states without a lotto.
  • Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.
  • A judge has allowed a lawsuit filed by the family of Seth Adams over his killing at the hands of a Palm Beach County sheriff's deputy to move forward.
  • Search teams in the Indian Ocean looking for missing Malaysia Air Flight 370 found a shipwreck from the 1800s instead.
  • Three people in a student tour group were killed by an avalanche in the French Alps.

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  1. Search teams in the Indian Ocean looking for missing Malaysia Air Flight 370 found a shipwreck from the 1800s instead.

    Courtney Love knew it was there all along.

    1. Blast you and your nimble internet connection.

      1. Learn to embrace the suck, Jesse.

        1. Don’t get fresh with me!

      2. So now everyone’s gunning for me?

        1. Well, duh.

        2. Firsting is a target of opportunity for me.Gunning for you would be the wrong way to think about it.

          1. So basically, its nothin’ personal. Its just business!

        3. Not me. I say you should be king of H&R. Could you do something about the squirrels though?

          1. Ugh, I always knew you were a monarchist!

            1. From this day until the end of his days jesse shall be Royal Squirrel Wrangler. (AlmightyJB is your immediate supervisor.)

              1. This ALWAYS happens to me!

              2. I’ll be at the bar if need anything jesse. The mints are for the customers.

                1. All right, have fun!

                  *waits until AlmightyJB leaves, fires up JB’s work computer and watches raunchy amputee porn on it, reports AlmightyJB to his supervisor, is unable to work due to disruption of office hierarchy and comments on H&R until the position is filled*

                  1. My supervisor is the king. I’m not sure you understand the aristocracy-serf relationship.

                    1. What is this a young monarchy? An established monarchy would have a nice bloated bureaucracy with lifetime appointments to ministries that have been outmoded since before our grandfathers could walk and talk.

                    2. Yeah, it just started like 40 minutes ago. I’m too occupied with drinking to worry about whether you’re actually doing anything so just chill and be happy you’re not on troll detail.

              3. Royal Squirrel Wrangler.

                You mean Obama didn’t assign that job to Super Joe??

                1. Employee review time: OFF WITH THEIR HEADS.

            2. The orange and black wings are so pretty.

        4. And you’ve been gunning for my ass for awhile now, so I guess that means everyone is after is me.

          1. That supermodel-caliber ass of yours? Hell yeah.

        5. STILL THINK I AM SECONDARY!!!!

          MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

        6. Such are the wages of glory.

    2. Hello.

    3. “rdrr”? Hardy-har-har? Me no get.

  2. Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.

    Noooo. That’s my goto site to check if someone’s internet is working. I know nobody has been to it on that computer and it won’t load from cache.

    1. I don’t think Firefox uses its cache db in private windows, so you can just ctrl+shift+p to check that a page is loading fresh rather than from cache.

      1. I believe you’re right on that. I hadn’t thought to do that.

        1. purple.com is my go to.

          1. That’s very purple. I opened it in a private browsing window just in case.

            1. alpo.com has always been my go to.

              Sexy, sexy dogs.

    2. Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.

      I blame Gore-bal Warming.

      1. If we don’t have Al-Jazeera America, how will people learn that our country is mostly racist, hates Muslims, and there is a rich protected class, with all others in widespread poverty, having to eat food out of trash cans or road kill?

        1. We still have MSNBC.

          1. And RT.

          2. MSNBC?

            No, tumblr!

        2. All those foreign correspondents from all the state-owned broadcasters all over the world work hard every day in US to let people know how horrible America is. Al-Jazeera was taking ther jerbs by hiring locally!

    3. They are shutting down the cable new channel, not the web site.

    4. Islamophobia claims its first victim.

  3. A judge has allowed a lawsuit filed by the family of Seth Adams over his killing at the hands of a Palm Beach County sheriff’s deputy to move forward.

    He knows false hope is still a kind of hope.

    1. Even if nothing comes of this, it will help build momentum. I need that to continue getting through life; please, nobody disillusion me.

      1. Hot dogs are only 17% actual dog.

  4. Where’s the buttplug to tell me how awesome the stock market is and that the recovery is totally legit?

    1. It’s an endless summer of recovery. I blame global warming.

    2. I just have to wonder where that money going? Powerball?

      1. I went to buy my tickets (I had to participate in the largest lottery in the world!) and someone in front of me bought 150?

    3. It’s still multiple times better than when W was in charge, Peanuts. Obama can’t help it if he was handed a stupid war with impossible debt. McCain and Romney would have completely screwed it up, and the Dow would be at 5k.

      Plus, gold is down from $1800 to $1080, so suck it, Peanuts!

      How was that?

      1. Not enough GooooooooldBuuuuuuuuuugssssssss!!!!

        (frothing at the mouth optional)

        1. It is in no way optional.

  5. The small town of Nipton, California is getting a lot of Powerball business because it sits right next to Nevada, one of just six states without a lotto.

    Why would you need a lotto in a state with, you know, LEGAL gambling?

    1. You ain’t gonna win a billion dollars playing slots in a casino in Reno!

      1. You ain’t gonna win a billion dollars playing slots in a casino in Reno!

        Better

        1. Somebody is

          1. And five years later that person will be living in a double-wide and eating beans and franks for every meal.

            1. Trailer shaming and franks and beans shaming all in one sentence. And you want to be my king.

              1. Next he’ll be bitching about hot plates.

            2. And five years later that person will be living in a double-wide and eating beans and franks for every meal

              with an unalterable smile on his face (if he has any sense)

            3. eating beans and franks for every meal.

              The correct term is “beanie-weenies.”

              Jeez, what would you people do without me and my red pen?

              1. Jeez, what would you people do without me and my red pen?

                Write my own prescriptions, for one.

          2. Somebody is

            The one monkey who types “To be, or not to be…”

            The odds of a specific individual winning $1B playing slots is probably better than hitting the lottery.

            Roulette odds of hitting a $60M jackpot by parlaying a $2 bet are significantly better than the lottery.

            1. They’re only going to get half anyways.

          3. Somebodyies is are

            FTFY

    2. ^This. But it should be noted that lotto is indeed legalized gambling, just the only sort allowed in many states.

      1. +1 tax on the poor.

        1. +1 tax on the poor mathematically challenged.

        2. It’s not a tax on anyone. It’s voluntary, and it’s how all government activity should be funded. Lotteries and bake sales.

        3. It only hurts the poor if someone other than the government is doing it

    3. Okay, Bernie. I guess some of us just like a choice where to lose our paychecks.

    4. Bigger jackpots for worse odds. People love that shit. The only reason we don’t participate is because the casino interests think it will cut into their gaming revenues (because obviously the same people buying dollar tickets at the gas station for 200,000,000 to 1 odds are the same people who are gonna come in and drop a few hundred bucks at roulette).

    5. Even Vegas thinks the vig on the lotto is immoral.

    6. Just wait until the Legion shows up to teach the people of Nipton about their wicked ways.

  6. …saying the real estate mogul ’embodies New York values.’

    Ouch.

    1. Both sides are embarrassed by this.

    2. Sick burn!!

  7. Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.

    Related to the large checks they may soon be writing to Peyton Manning, Ryan Howard and Ryan Zimmerman?

  8. We need everyone to love public schools in order to dismantle them/ Gillespie.

    1. Well, it’s not fun if no one is watching

  9. Police: Vikings fan mistakenly breaks into police station

    ST. PAUL, Minn. (AP) ? Police say a Vikings fan who was tailgating at the Minnesota State Fairgrounds broke into a police substation after the team’s loss to Seattle, apparently thinking it was his own home.

    State Fair police spokeswoman Brooke Blakey says the 30-year-old man appeared to be drunk when he entered the station Sunday. The station resembles a house.

    Blakey says a patrol officer discovered the tailgater inside the substation around 4 p.m. The tailgater was arrested, booked into the Ramsey County jail and released. Trespassing charges are pending.

    1. “Hey, Honey, howdya know I wanna play ‘bad cop’ affa da game?”

    2. Vikings fan? He’s been punished enough.

    3. Was the police station just a little wide left of his house, with the door knob facing the wrong way?

    4. Maybe he’s been there before….more than a few times.

    1. Is that “Yes We Cannabis”? In OH, it’s No We Can’t

  10. Australian man stops car theft with flying kick through passenger window

    MALAK, Australia, Jan. 13 (UPI) — An Australian man stopped his car from being stolen by performing a flying “ninja” kick through the passenger window of the moving vehicle.

    Northern Territory Police said on Facebook they were seeking Timothy Slater, 24, for alleged offenses including an attempted auto theft Nov. 30 at a gas station in Malak.

    Video of the gas station incident shows a man police identified as Slater getting into the car and attempting to drive away after the owner walked away from the vehicle.

    The owner quickly runs back into frame as Slater tries to drive off and performs a flying kick through the passenger-side window the moving car.

    1. You call that a jacking? This is a jacking.

    2. OK, I think, given that most of the crime stories originating from Australia are actually about he Northern Territory, it’s appropriate that henceforth all stories begin “Northern Territory Man” in the sme way US stories begin “Florida Man…”.

    3. Hardcore!

  11. In a memo to employees, Al Jazeera America chief executive Al Anstey said the decision to close the channel was “driven by the fact that our business model is simply not sustainable in light of the economic challenges in the U.S. media marketplace.” He added, “I know the closure of AJAM will be a massive disappointment for everyone here who has worked tirelessly for our long-term future.”

    Huh, talk about the Rise And Fall of…

    1. I look forward to the opening of Al Jazeera Galt’s Gulch.

    2. The unsustainable business model is trying to keep home-country parasites fed and calm, spread Wahabbism around the world, fund terror networks and run a large propaganda organization while halving oil prices to drive American frackers out of business.

      1. Don’t forget the Audis

  12. A judge has allowed a lawsuit filed by the family of Seth Adams over his killing at the hands of a Palm Beach County sheriff’s deputy to move forward

    Someone go get that can, we’re gonna start kicking it down the road.

  13. “DADE CITY, Fla. (AP) ? The widow of a Tampa Bay area man shot and killed during an argument over texting during movie previews in a Wesley Chapel theater has filed a [$15,000] wrongful death lawsuit against the theater, its developer and one of its employees….

    “The lawsuit says Cobb Theaters and an employee at the Wesley Chapel movie theater failed to enforce the company’s prohibition on weapons.”

    1. Aside from the stupidity of “prohibitions on weapons”, a wrongful death suit for 15K? I guess you can’t put a price on love!

    2. Maybe the theater can get TSA rejects to search everyone coming in.

  14. “DADE CITY, Fla. (AP) ? The widow of a Tampa Bay area man shot and killed during an argument over texting during movie previews in a Wesley Chapel theater has filed a [$15,000] wrongful death lawsuit against the theater, its developer and one of its employees….

    “The lawsuit says Cobb Theaters and an employee at the Wesley Chapel movie theater failed to enforce the company’s prohibition on weapons.”

  15. “DADE CITY, Fla. (AP) ? The widow of a Tampa Bay area man shot and killed during an argument over texting during movie previews in a Wesley Chapel theater has filed a [$15,000] wrongful death lawsuit against the theater, its developer and one of its employees….

    “The lawsuit says Cobb Theaters and an employee at the Wesley Chapel movie theater failed to enforce the company’s prohibition on weapons.”

      1. No jelly! I’m surprised that he showed so much restraint.

      1. Squirrels, Eddie.

        1. Thank you Captain Obvious.

    1. Can they enforce a ban on server squirrels?

  16. Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.

    I blame it on ISIS.

  17. Heavily pregnant deadly snake found under fridge by Australian woman

    An Adelaide woman got the fright of her life when she went to get a drink from the fridge and discovered a brown snake peering out from underneath.

    The venomous eastern brown snake had a surprise in store for the homeowners ? it was heavily pregnant and later laid 15 eggs.

    Rolly Burrell from Snake Catchers Adelaide, who caught the snake, said: “It’s lucky she saw the snake now or she might have been going to the fridge to get a drink later on and seen all these little critters all over the place.”

  18. Lefty rag on SOTU squawk:

    Dionne is typically full of shit:
    “The most venomous part of the Republican Party has seized control of the national dialogue. This forced President Obama to use his final State of the Union message on Tuesday to battle against intolerance, anger, pessimism and despair.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/…..756599.php

    And the check’s in the mail:
    “State of the Union, Sanders’ surge highlight new era for drug policy”
    http://www.sfgate.com/search/?…..+the+union

    1. So will Gillespie’s next article defend Dionne?

      1. Will Winston ever go to the doctor for his eternal butthurt?

        1. Will SugarFree die of hypocrisy or bitterness?

          1. All you do is bitch about the same dumb things 20 other yokels do. What’s it like to be so redundant? I mean, at least Winston has his whining. You have nothing. You’re whole existence is done more compently by people half as smart as Elizabeth Warren.

            1. Your prose knows no bounds. You resort to “witty” insults every chance you get but can’t defend your own positions – you rarely state them but will screech YOKEL and other bullshit just to piss on other people’s opinions. Trashy, just like your writing.

              1. Cool story, bro.

                1. I love you too. I do like some of your trashy stories too, no homo.

              2. Trashy, just like your writing.

                Hey! Don’t drag my writing into this! I write in the Queen’s English! And don’t call me Shirley!

          2. Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion.

      2. Winston|1.13.16 @ 4:35PM|#
        “So will Gillespie’s next article defend Dionne?”

        Beat you out of a job once, did they? Well, given it’s been 50 years, so you might LEARN TO GROW THE FUCK UP!
        Tired, Winston, fucking TIRED.

    2. “The most venomous part of the Republican Party has seized control of the national dialogue.

      This is politi-speak for “we’re failing to control the message”.

    3. Dionne looks like the world’s oldest fetus. Why even the other party hacks put up with him is beyond human science to explain.

    4. That’s right, because it’s so easy for pundits to bully a sitting US President. That’s been one of the worst features of the past eight years – the whining about how everyone is being mean to the president.

      1. At least it gave us James Taranto’s “Why Do Bad Things Always Happen to Him?” feature.

    5. Ha, that’s hi-larious!

  19. Samosas and other snacks included in India’s new luxury tax

    NEW DELHI, Jan. 13 (UPI) — India’s Nitish Kumar imposed a 13.5 percent tax on “luxury items” during a cabinet meeting on Tuesday.

    The tax, approved by the Chief Minister of Bihar, will apply to items such as mosquito repellent, sweets priced more than $7.48 and salty snacks, including samosas, fried pastries filled with meat or cheese.

    A similar tax rate was also applied to auto parts, as well as cosmetics, perfume/cologne and hair oil.

    1. Mmmm samosas…

      1. They *are* better than those thin mints.

    2. Mosquito repellent is a luxury item?

      1. Only the rich deserve to survive malaria.

  20. The channel was also wracked by turnover among its top executives, and a lawsuit filed last year by a former employee that alleged sexism and anti-Semitism in the workplace.

    Welcome to America, bitch.

    1. …a former employee that alleged sexism and anti-Semitism in the workplace.

      Muhammed, meet Shark.

    2. Anti-Semitism? At AL-JAZEERA?? Get the hell outta here…

      1. Self-hating Arabs.

      2. And sexism, from Muslims? Does that ever happen??

      3. Jews are semites, too.

    3. anti-Semitism? At Al jazeera.

      Why I am shocked! Shocked, I say!

      1. Dammit!

  21. German meals-on-wheels charity served dog food to seniors

    OSNABRUCK, Germany, Jan. 12 (UPI) — A German meals-on-wheels charity apologized after three senior citizens were mistakenly served high-end dog food instead of human food.

    The Osnabrucker Tafel charity in the town of Osnabruck said three senior citizens were mistakenly given high-end dog food manufactured by Santaniello. At least one of the seniors ate the food.

    Another of the seniors told the charity they had started to heat up the dish, but decided not to eat it due to a foul odor.

    The charity said workers mistook the Santaniello glass jars for human food due to the high-end labeling, which described the contents as “venison and potatoes with garden vegetables.”

    1. Isn’t dog food actually made fit for human consumption? Or is this just some urban legend?

      1. High end dog food! That’s probably at least Taco Bell in people food rankings.

      2. At least it wasn’t cat food. That’s only fit for Prawns.

    2. Sounds like British food,an I right?

      1. Hey, I love me some shepherds pie!

        1. Their food is why their beer is so good.

    3. Have you seen some of the high end dog food? I have to feed my Weimeraner grain free, 2 ingredient dog food or he pukes all over the place and gets awful rashes on his skin. He eats way better than I do!

      1. I feed my hunting lab lamb and rice.Keeps the coat nice and shiny.I’d never give him British food though.

        1. Lab color? English or american style?

          1. Chocolate ,American

    4. So the progtards were right? If we left caring for the elderly poor to private charity, they’d all be eating dogfood?

  22. Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.

    You don’t go after Peyton Manning without consequences.

  23. Amazed Al Jazeera somehow did not pay Keith Olbermann $10 million before folding.

  24. She Shoots Dick Pics For A Living. Why Didn’t You Think Of This? (NSFW)

    Soraya Doolbaz excels at penis portraits (dick pics to most of you out there), and she gets up to $10,000 for limited edition prints.

    In the New York Post video above, Doolbaz explains how she went from trading dick pics with girlfriends to dressing up schlongs in little doll outfits and shooting them as a so-called “Penis Fashion Photographer.” Her work often features prominent figures such as “Donald The Dick Trump” and Kim Dong-un.

    There’s a few delicate details to work out during posing sessions, like getting the guy to be aroused (“Obviously the girl would fluff,” she says matter of factly) but it all works out.[…]

    “At first people asked if they could buy smaller prints for the bathroom,” she told The Huffington Post. “Then women asked about bachelorette merchandise. I realized I could create a whole line of products and people could choose the character that spoke to them. And the dick dynasty was born.”

    1. Oh shit, I think I have a new life ambition.

    2. There’s a few delicate details to work out during posing sessions, like getting the guy to be aroused (“Obviously the girl would fluff,” she says matter of factly) but it all works out.[…]

      This is an artist I can get behind.

      1. [narrows gaze]

    3. Wait, you’re supposed to take your dick pics while erect?

      1. Not for the Dick ‘Dick’ Cheney portrait.

        1. I don’t know. Mine looks equally as aesthetically pleasing just hanging there.

          1. You know the rule. Pics, or your word is as empty as your renal cavity.

            1. I’m sure you could find a shot or two of it at any of the tumblr pages Jesse frequents. It’s out there, baby.

      1. If her clientele are women dragging boyfriends along, she probably feels (correctly IMHO) that if the women didn’t participate, they wouldn’t be interested in hiring her.

        The point is for the girlfriends to show off “their” penis, not to have it pleasured by another woman.

        1. So it’s a marketing problem.

      2. “I’m a comedic photographer, if you will.”

        Oh, I will.

        1. She just wants to make women laugh?

          Problematic, anyone?

          1. Get your hearing aids adjusted AND get back on your meds, old coot.

    4. And she’s guaranteed tips.

      Just tips?

    5. Can the penis monologues be far behind?

      1. Very soon. But the penises will all be listening, of course.

    6. Reporter’s name is Ron Dicker.

      1. Too bad it’s not “Howie”.

    7. That article was written by a guy name Ron Dicker.

      Dicker. I will never believe he was not chosen to bang that out solely because of his name.

  25. Sure, ISIS has been murdering and enslaving Yazidis, but let’s get to the important question – does all this legally qualify as “genocide”?

    Because if it’s just regular old murder and slavery, we don’t have to make as much of a fuss about it.

    1. Actually, I think we are part of some treaties that force us to intervene in ways that we don’t want to if it is officially genocide. It’s why the administration gets so touchy about the word, and activists throw a hissy fit if it isn’t used.

      1. I get it, I think those treaties were misguided.

        What’s wrong with “mass murder”?

          1. Mass murder doesn’t carry the connotation of it being a systematic attempt. Adam Lanza was a mass murderer; Pol Pot organized genocide.

            1. Ethnic cleansing is a perfectly good word, and I don’t think it holds the same legal requirements as genocide.

              1. I thought ethnic cleansing was when your nurse from Guatemala gives you a sponge bath.

            2. No, Pol Pot was not trying to murder the entire race of Cambodians, so it doesn’t count as genocide. Unless there was some small ethnic group there that he targeted.

  26. Shocking video shows moment Thai woman marries her dead lover during his funeral

    A Thai bride refused to listen to the old saying ’til death do us part’ after she decided to marry her dead lover at his funeral .

    Nan Thippharat, from Chachoengsao province in central Thailand, chose to go ahead with plans for the couple to wed, despite her future husband having already died.

    Fiat’s death came as a shock, as he had shown no visible signs of illness before he suddenly died of a heart attack.

    Nan posted pictures and a video of the unusual marriage ceremony to her social media page.

    1. So is posthumous marriage the next libertarian crusade?

        1. Wait, wait, Tonio.

          The president said that now one can marry whomever one loves.

            1. Posthumous marriage will allow people to get bennies…

            2. Is there any sort of time constraint on that? Like, if you posthumously gay-married the apostle Peter, for example, could you get in on some of that Vatican wealth?

              1. Reading the French law, it seems there has to be solid evidence that the deceased had intended on performing a marriage ceremony in the near future (like a wedding announcement published in the paper, which are actually a legal requirement in France before the ceremony).

                1. (like a wedding announcement published in the paper, which are actually a legal requirement in France before the ceremony)

                  Isn’t that the purpose of registering the marriage with the local bureaucracy? French people are weird.

                  Also, if I can scrounge up a New Testament verse to support my claim, don’t any of you even think about stealing it.

                  1. French people are weird.

                    Laws concerning Banns of Marriage are actually more well-known as an Anglican/British Commonwealth thing.

        2. Really why not? Just have a will allowing it. Or even just the engagement.

        3. You can marry, you just can’t fuck because you can’t get affirmative consent.

      1. Why not. We went from one man and one woman to any two people because: What’s magic about being different sexes? Next will be: What’s magic about “two” when love is involved? I don’t see why we have to discriminate on the basis of inability to maintain a body temperature different from ambient. The thermally challenged have rights too, you know.

        1. I support your marriage to bitter, tired butthurt, Homple. I really do. You seem inseparable.

          1. Obviously Homple is not enough of a Constitutional scholar to detect that the 14th Amendment does not permit discrimination against people who are deceased.

        2. Hey, when the zombie apocalypse arrives, I may want to marry one. I should have that right!

          1. Shh. They’re emoting. Let them get it all out.

          2. Ah so the libertarian crusade has already made inroads. I’m sure there are some laws to make it easier and legal gray areas to resolve.

    2. Yawn. It’s actually a Chinese tradition that has more to do with probate than any lurid “Hey look at the people from Ooga-Boogaland!””-ism

      1. Yawn. It’s actually a Chinese tradition that has more to do with probate than any lurid “Hey look at the people from Ooga-Boogaland!””-ism

        Your first tip that something is neither shocking or interesting is a web headline with the word “shocking”.

    3. Well, with a name like FIAT…

      1. Fix It Again Tonio?

  27. This Day in History

    1846 – President James Polk dispatches General Zachary Taylor and 4,000 troops to the Texas Border as war with Mexico looms.

    1919 – California votes to ratify the prohibition amendment.

    1923 – Hitler denounces the Weimar Republic as 5,000 storm troopers demonstrate in Germany.

    1927 – A woman takes a seat on the NY Stock Exchange breaking the all-male tradition.

    1937 – The United States bars Americans from serving in the Civil War in Spain.

    1947 – British troops replace striking truck drivers.

    1955 – Chase National and the Bank of Manhattan agree to merge resulting in the second largest U.S. bank.

    1980 – The United States offers Pakistan a two-year aid plan to counter the Soviet threat in Afghanistan.

    1982 – Air Florida Flight 90 Boeing 737 jet crashes into Washington, D.C.’s 14th Street Bridge shortly after takeoff, then plunges into the Potomac River; 78 people, including 4 motorists, are killed.

    1990 – In Virginia, Douglas Wilder, the first African American elected governor of a US state, takes office.

    1. #10 is the not. Virginia is a commonwealth and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t allow blacks to hold public office.

      1. False. Douglas Wilder signed my gubernatorial congratulatory letter upon achieving Eagle Scout.

        Although I suppose that could just mean we only allow blacks to be scriveners…

      2. The not is #3, Hitler is a myth like reindeer and unicycles.

      3. The not is 5. They’re lorry drivers.

    2. I am so sick of people misusing the term “storm troopers”. (Not that the OP is misusing. It just got me thinking about it). The expression is sturmmann for an individual (or sturmtruppen for a company). The term came from a change in tactics during WWI in terms of infiltrating enemy trenches. While the Germans pioneered these tactics, it would seem that the British were able to eventually use it better. Yes during the Weimar period many out of work soldiers (some of whom were indeed “storm troopers” from WWI) protested. But somehow, the term got to be used synonymously with the brown shirts of the SA, and then some even equate them with the SS (or at least the Waffen SS).

      Of course, Sheev Palpatine has the original copyright on the term “Storm Troopers” ever since the 501st Legion of clone troops assaulted the Jedi Temple. And since that happened “A long time ago”, he gets precedence.

      1. The proper term for the Nazi foot soldiers in the 20s is Brown Shirts.

      2. Don’t get me started on Sturmgewehr.

      3. Old Palps has been on ice for more than seventy-five years; his priority is no longer operative.

    3. You know who else had 5,000 storm troopers?

      1. Bruno Ganz?

    4. “1990 – In Virginia, Douglas Wilder, the first African American elected governor of a US state, takes office.”

      Uh…no.

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._B._S._Pinchback

  28. Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.

    To avoid the wrath of Peyton Manning and Ryan Zimmerman, I assume

    1. Damn, should have refreshed before posting.

  29. I haven’t seen Palin’s Buttplug around lately. I wonder why.

    Our Bet:
    “Palin’s Buttplug|1.1.16 @ 3:24PM|#

    Let’s have a bet with a $100,000 in an investment account. Whoever is down on market close 1/29/16 pays Reason $20. Three position max. No trading. Easy to follow.

    Palin’s Buttplug|1.1.16 @ 4:46PM|#

    I donated to Reason in the December drive, asshole.

    We’re on for $20.

    I am spending half my 100k on CNX in the money calls (Jan) $7 strike. The ask is $1.18 right now.

    The other half I will spend on SGY calls (Jan) $2 strike. The ask is $2.50 (my paid price).

    You’re in for that biotech then. You can change anytime today in this thread only.

    1. I haven’t seen Palin’s Buttplug around lately. I wonder why.

      Those of us who still bitterly cling to Reason’s now-defunct econ reporting know exactly why.

      1. Yeah, what’s up with that? We used to have some kind of economic analysis around here. I don’t want to go to zerohedge for my DOOM.

        1. Not an anti-Zionist then?

          1. Whoah, let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.

        2. Speaking of zerohedge and DOOOMM! (Incidentally, I wonder how Warren’s doing?) ZeroHedge has an article from yesterday on how the Russians are trying to set up their own oil and gas exchange, denominated in rubles.

          ‘Cats and dogs, living together’ hysteria, mild buzzing in my Jiffy-Pop-derived headwear, or something else entirely?

          1. Look Ghost, everything America does is because oil is priced in dollars. If oil ever stops being priced in dollars, the lights will go out and it will turn into something out of Mad Max by the next morning.

            Don’t you read Zero hedge?

    2. So how much did this bad ass Wolf of Wall Street make on his $100K investment? And why isn’t he bragging about it? Was it enough to buy a boat?

      Even better.

      1. So the $50K he invested in CNX is gone. Zero.

        How about the other $50k? He hedged that, right?
        Nope. He lost 2/3rds of that $50k. So far.

        1. It doesn’t count because it’s George Bush’s fault.

        2. And despite his complete and utter humiliation, his absolutely shameless ass will still be back tomorrow as if nothing had ever happened.

        3. I’m seeing CNX at $6.05. How did he manage to get to $0?

          1. he was purchasing call options (rights to buy) @ a strike of $7.00 while the stock price was also above $7 (i.e. “in the money”)

            The value of the contracts would be the “difference” plus the market-value of the option.

            (i.e. if CNX was @ $8, the contract would be $1 plus a teeny premium that would be the market-value of the option – $0.16 in the above case)

            That trade is predicting that a rise in the stock price further above $7 would produce higher gains in the contract value than would be gained by investing in the stock itself.

            If the stock falls below the strike price, the value of the option goes to Zero, because you’d be paying for the “option” to pay MORE for the stock than it is currently trading.

            Given that the options are only valid for a limited period of time, if the contract period closes when the contract is ‘out of the money’, then its worthless.

      2. side note to Playa-

        How was the pork belly?

        1. The tacos were great. I’m doing your recipe this weekend. The belly has been dry brining in the fridge for a week.

          1. I think Tman mean the Pork belly futures.

            1. Nope, I meant the pork belly recipe we talked about last week.

              Playa, we are doing the belly recipe again this weekend for the NFL games. I look forward to hearing how yours comes out!

                1. (SAD TROMBONE)

      3. I bet if you gave him 5 million he could turn into a million though.

    3. Oh that’s cute! You think it is capable of interacting with a securities market!

    4. A progressive hack backed out of a bet after he had to pay? /shocked face

      1. Paul Ehrlich wrote Julian Simon a check.

      2. It’s called “welshing,” b-m.

        1. I thought it was welching?

        2. I thought that was hating vowels.

          CYMRU!

    5. Pl?ya Manhattan.|1.13.16 @ 4:37PM|#
      “I haven’t seen Palin’s Buttplug around lately. I wonder why.”

      He was here last night pimping some Obo-admin press release about how the trade agreement ‘cut tariffs on EIGHTEEN THOUSAND PRODUCTS!
      And then a closer look said maybe 175 or so, but that meant you had to figure yellow pencils a different pr…
      You get the point.

  30. Gillespie’s strategy fills me with optimism:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_liberalism

    In the late nineteenth century and early twentieth century, a group of British thinkers, known as the New Liberals, made a case against laissez-faire classical liberalism and argued in favor of state intervention in social, economic, and cultural life. The New Liberals, which included intellectuals like T.H. Green, L.T. Hobhouse, and John A. Hobson, saw individual liberty as something achievable only under favorable social and economic circumstances.[6] In their view, the poverty, squalor and ignorance in which many people lived made it impossible for freedom and individuality to flourish. New Liberals believed that these conditions could be ameliorated only through collective action coordinated by a strong, welfare-oriented and interventionist state.

    1. There are few places in history more rich and pampered than the modern elite American university. Yet, they are black holes of conformity and centralized control. So I think the hypothesis that wealth creates freedom seems unlikely to be true.

    2. I was going to joke about Nick’s impurity for him suggesting there are govt programs that can work, but decided against it. That would be boring.

      Then I check the comments an hour later, and sure enough you’re there, calling him a socialist.

      1. So Nick’s impurities are okay since you like him. If a “yokel” does it is bad.

        Anyway the reason (drink!) I mentioned this is because plenty of liberals thought that selling out laissez-faire in order to get government programs to work was harmless and not selling out to the socialists and yet today how are liberals different from the socialists of old?

      2. Nick has been on a roll lately. I wasn’t aware skepticism of government and negativity in politics were a bad thing in libertarian circles until Nick set me straight. I mean nothing says Libertarian about believing in the power of government to do good.

        Seriously MJ, why are dying on this hill? Nick is indefensible. Engage in a tactical retreat and defend Suderman or something.

      3. I love when Homple and Winston get to hompling in the same thread.

        *yes, hompling is a verb, but credit for that goes to jesse.in.mb*

        1. Er, I mean, me, of course. All credits go to me.

      4. Look, nuance is difficult. What better way to beat that cocktail guzzler over the head than by mangling the definition of words to blur distinctions as much as possible?

        1. You are aware that two of Leggers and O’Leary’s government programs that worked are the Marshall and the US Occupation of Japan? How do libertarians reconcile that with non-interventionism? Or I am just a damn yokel so my opinions should be ignored even though if a “yokel” defended those two things as justification for something you would attack him?

          1. You are aware that two of Leggers and O’Leary’s government programs that worked are the Marshall and the US Occupation of Japan?

            You’re right, Microaggressor, nuance is difficult.

            Who defended what? Nick called their book interesting. Do you recite every caveat about Jefferson’s faults when recommending something he wrote?

            Nick’s different from the New Liberals in that he proposes different things. You just have to stop trying to divine what he REALLY believes and read the words he publishes. If he were like the New Liberals, he would just be a standard American liberal, and he’d be invited to more cocktail parties.

            1. MJ,

              Once you buy into the fallacy that the government can do good and has a duty to do so, you have lost the argument. You are just discussing the terms of surrender. Nick thinks this or that is good and Progs think something else is and SOCONS something else entirely. They have all bought into the same underlying premise and are just arguing over the application.

              1. This. That is my point. Once the classical liberals abandoned laissez-faire it was only a matter of time before they became the progs of today. If government should redistribute the wealth the help the poor what do we do when the money runs out? If the government can manage the economy better then why shouldn’t we regulate more and even nationalize more industries. And once the conservative Republicans began saying that “we can’t really cut government!” is it a surprise that they are so shitty?

            2. Leggers and O’Leary are also ignore the fact that the Marshall program ended due to the Cold War and Republican opposition. Oh and Apollo did overbudget but not by too much and JFK’s initial estimate was wildly wrong and that Apollo was killed because politicians opposed it.

            3. Also what is the difference between what Gillespie is advocating and the Republicans? And if you think “we don’t really want to cut welfare!” will prevent the progs from calling you a heartless baby killer who wants poor and old people to die then…look at the Republicans.

              And once you start arguing “As long as we have big government/free shit we should make it work” than what sorts of things shouldn’t they be doing? And how do you cut the things they shouldn’t be doing?

          2. I’m not aware of that because it is incorrect

            “The Marshall Plan

            This account has not mentioned the Marshall Plan. Can’t West Germany’s revival be attributed mainly to that? The answer is no. The reason is simple: Marshall Plan aid to West Germany was not that large. Cumulative aid from the Marshall Plan and other aid programs totaled only $2 billion through October 1954. Even in 1948 and 1949, when aid was at its peak, Marshall Plan aid was less than 5 percent of German national income. Other countries that received substantial Marshall Plan aid exhibited lower growth than Germany.”

            David R. Henderson is the editor of this encyclopedia. He is a research fellow with Stanford University’s Hoover Institution and an associate professor of economics at the Naval Postgraduate School in Monterey, California. He was a senior economist with the President’s Council of Economic Advisers.

        2. And what exactly is the difference between Gillespie and those New Liberals mentioned above?

          1. Oh and Keynes and Beveridge were Liberals. Coincidence? I think not.

  31. Atheism is an old boys’ club. More women should admit to being Godless

    “The trouble with the atheist movement, of which I consider myself a part, is that sometimes it just looks far too much like religion.

    “To put it bluntly: it’s pale, stale and male.

    “Richard Dawkins, the late Christopher Hitchens, Sam Harris and Daniel Dennett, are often referred to as atheism’s ‘four horsemen’. All deeply interesting individuals – but also exactly the sort of faces that a patriarchal religion might appoint as its elders.

    “Recognising this, Somali author and activist Ayaan Hirsi Ali was added to the clique when Hitchens died (the fourth horse-woman).

    “But – maths alert – having twenty-five percent representation is not the same as equality and it still isn’t remotely surprising to find an atheist event with an all-male line-up.”

    Oh, and check out the part where Muslims tried to bar her and a friend of hers (in separate incidents) from speaking at universities, thus proving the wickedness of “religion.”

    1. “The trouble with the atheist movement, of which I consider myself a part, is that sometimes it just looks far too much like religion.

      “To put it bluntly: it’s pale, stale and male

      Pro tip: When you’re part of a “movement”, it tends to take on some religious qualities.

      1. So how broadly are we defining “religion”?

        1. Well, I said “qualities” so I’m not giving it a 1:1 correlation, just that it takes on some… qualities. And of course, those qualities come from religions I at least know something about.

    2. Meh. IIRC, Madalyn Murray O’Hair pretty much got atheism into the American scene.

      1. This is libertarian fucking comment thread on female atheists, and Ayn Rand hasn’t been mentioned??
        WTF people.

        1. Gosh darn it!

    3. LOL. What a fucking dweeb.

      She also appears to be a moron:

      “These are vital to female emancipation. We can talk about equality in the workplace all day, but it’s meaningless if we forget that, until very recently, the main thing keeping women out of the office was that we spent half of our adult lives pregnant and the other half stopping toddlers from eating each other’s bogies.”

      Half your adult life? Most people don’t become important political figures until their 40s and 50s. I’m guessing you’re not pregnant and dealing with toddlers when you’re 47, you fucking idiot. If you have 6 children, you’d spend about 4.5 years pregnant, which by my count is not half of your adult life – and that’s assuming you have 6 kids.

      “A recent High Court ruling that all pupils in non-faith schools must study atheism is perhaps the first step in making this happen for a new generation.”

      Um…why the fuck would anyone need to study atheism when it’s not a doctrine? All atheism says is “I don’t believe in any gods.” There – I’ve taught you everything you need to know about the subject.

      1. I’m starting to get the distinct feeling feminists resent having to be the one to give birth.

        1. Biology is a tool of the patriarchy.

        2. Turns out Nature is a bit sexist.

      2. “Um…why the fuck would anyone need to study atheism when it’s not a doctrine? All atheism says is “I don’t believe in any gods.” There – I’ve taught you everything you need to know about the subject.”

        Hardly, you’ve forgot the more important atheist topics of gender equality and veganism.

      3. Toddlers are eating airplanes?

        Now, that’s a problem I’m glad men didn’t have to deal with.

    4. I reckon Ayn Rand doesn’t count as a person.

      1. Dammit!!

  32. Governor Mike Pence of Indiana promises not to pull the football away this time:

    “I will not support any bill that diminishes the religious freedom of Hoosiers or that interferes with the constitutional rights of our citizens to live out their beliefs in worship, service or work.”

    1. But what about the imaginary gay pizza weddings????

    2. WTF? So he’s going to honor his oath of office?

      1. Yeah, he marks a welcome change from that other governor who signed a bill to subordinate religious freedom to the “public accomodations” laws.

    1. “It has all of us scratching our heads,” said regional wildlife biologist Zach Lockyer.

      Yeah, just like the cougar!

      1. They prefer to be called Mellencamps.

        1. And live i little pink houses.

  33. Scientists say human greenhouse gas emissions have canceled the next ice age

    But new research published Wednesday in the influential journal Nature suggests that we may have had a close scrape with such a period earlier in the current geological epoch known as the Holocene ? and that pre-industrial human modifications of the climate through agriculture, fires and deforestation might have just barely staved it off.

    “Humanity narrowly escaped a glacial inception in the middle of the Holocene, which was almost suppressing the formation of civilization,” says Hans Joachim Schellnhuber, one of the paper’s three authors and founding director of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research (tjhe other authors are also affiliated with the institute).

    Moreover, the study says, massive human greenhouse gas emissions since that time have likely “postponed” what might otherwise be another ice age “by at least 100,000 years.”

    The new research is based on the idea that there are two key factors that shape whether the Earth goes into an ice age (or glacial period) or not. There’s one that humans can influence, as well as one they really can’t.

    1. Heh, I see what they’re doing here. All of their short-term predictions about global warming have proven egregiously wrong, so instead of making a claim that can be demonstrate false within our lifetime, they are predicting what will happen millennia from now.

      Well played, alarmists….well played….

      1. Winner, winner, frozen dinner!

      2. It is a variation on jobs created or saved.

      3. Today’s local paper had an enraged letter-to-the-editor over two separate recently-published letters from two highly regarded area scientists, full professors of science, who had the audacity to question some of the data and studies about AGW. Our acolyte essentially wrote they are the wrong kind of scientists and therefore should be ignored:

        Overwhelming data on changing climate


        The recent climate-change letters from Steve Mahler and Donald Eagling were particularly troubling, since the attribution beneath their letters referenced their former employers in Livermore and Berkeley laboratories, possibly bolstering their views on this subject.
        I suspect neither Mahler nor Eagling are climate scientists, so their opinions on climate are probably no better informed than the average person on the street.
        I prefer Prof. Boots’ article in your paper last week re the use of 1998 temperature data to present a flatter picture of the rise in global temperatures in recent years. Anyone who has calculated trend lines knows the choice of the starting point can affect the slope of the line.
        I hope Mahler or Eagling will accept Boots’ challenge to debate the climate change data in an open forum. I believe the data are overwhelming in Boots’ favor. However, getting climate-change deniers to accept that data has been more difficult than it should be.
        It would be interesting to see what data Mahler or Eagling present supporting their opinions.
        Michael Kelly
        Livermore

        1. However, getting climate-change deniers to accept that data has been more difficult than it should be.

          The severity and sincerity of the death threats is insufficient.

    2. Moreover, the study says, massive human greenhouse gas emissions since that time have likely “postponed” what might otherwise be another ice age “by at least 100,000 years.

      That’s more likely complete bullshit than not.

    3. massive human greenhouse gas emissions since that time have likely “postponed” what might otherwise be another ice age “by at least 100,000 years.”

      “Can you prove us wrong?”

    4. So what’s their point, that human ingenuity kicks ass?

      1. Yeah, why would we want an Ice Age? That expansion sucked!

        1. The idea of a glacier scraping Long Island bare appeals…

    5. They’re basically saying that the human’s ability to alter the planet is so extraordinarily potent that even pre-industrial age humans making campfires and cutting down trees made enough of a dent in the carbon cycle to stave off a naturally occurring ice age. So global warming isn’t just the original sin post-Industrial humanity, but also Bronze Age humanity as well. I guess we should all just kill ourselves to save Gaia.

    6. Niven and Pournelle already thought of that.

    7. It’s truly amazing what increasing the atmosphere’s CO2 content by 3% can do.

  34. For the first time Ted Cruz targeted fellow Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump directly this week, saying the real estate mogul ’embodies New York values.’

    Like what, acting like you are special just because you live there?

    Folding a slice of pizza?

    Whining about their sports teams?

    1. Drinking “regular” coffee?

      1. Paying exorbitantly high rent to live in what is essentially a dollhouse?

        1. Wearing leather jackets with Adidas exercise pants?

    2. How did I mess up those tags? Stupid internets.

      1. Get your hearing aids adjusted, old coot.

        1. Hey! Goldman Sach’s said that anyone born after 1980 is a millennial, so I make the cut, fellow millennial.

          omg rite lol!

          1. Maybe, but you’ll never be a bonafide 90s kid, like me. ONLY 90s KIDS GET WHAT BEING A 90s KID WAS LIKE

            1. Someone isn’t getting invited over my place to play Sega Genesis and eat some microwavable Ninja Turtles Ellios Pizza!

                1. I will just chill out with a Capri Sun in my Sergio Valente jeans.

          2. I’m too old to be a boomer.

          3. Christ! Get off my goddamned lawn you two.

            *stirs vodka into glass of Tang and resets needle to start of second LP of Physical Graffiti*

    3. Uses fuck as a noun?

    4. Walking fast?
      Complaining about cab drivers?

    5. I am originally from NY. I love my thin, foldable pizza. I love my Giants and Yankees. But there is very little left there to love.
      I live in KC now. I also love me some barbecue, and Chiefs and Royals. (I will never give up my G-men or my Yanks, but as long as they aren’t directly competing in the playoffs, go KC!)

      For the record though, ANYONE who thinks deepdish is pizza should be committed to the local nuthouse.

      1. Could I be committed to a deep dish pizzeria?

  35. Fuck, I’m late. And Subway was all out of cilantro. Nothing matters anymore.

    1. That some kinda fetish?

      1. Nihilism? Yeah I guess, whatever.

      2. You’ve never rubbed some cilantro on your feet while jerking it? If not, you ain’t livin.

    2. Cilan…*gag*…cil…cilantro? Have I told you my cilantro story?

  36. “Ted Cruz targeted fellow Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump directly this week, saying the real estate mogul ’embodies New York values.'”

    Ok, now I’m starting to get pissed.

    1. Finally, Ted Cruz says something I can agree with.

      1. You just hate Winners.

      2. Fuggedaboutit, Paul, it’s cannolis and Luigi’s Pizza all the way down.

    2. “I’m a divider, not a uniter.”

  37. http://www.nationalreview.com/…..final-year

    The White House Chief of Staff admits the President doesn’t really give a fuck anymore, if he ever did.

    1. His picture reminds me of Lurch.

    2. Without reading the article, I suspect “not giving a fuck” is used in a positive way, suggesting we’re about to get the long, hard dildo of executive action.

      1. Yes. As in “he doesn’t give a fuck about the law or the consequences to the country.” More than anything Obama wants attention. I think he is starting to realize not that people don’t like him, he is fine with that since people hating him makes him feel important, but that the country has just tuned him out and doesn’t care anymore. That for Obama is a nightmare. And he is going to do whatever is necessary to get people understand how important he is.

  38. http://www.bloomberg.com/news/…..g-new-lows

    At what point does the reality that Twitter doesn’t have a viable business model and has never had any positive cash flow cause it to finally die?

    1. When Obama nationalizes it with the long, hard dildo of executive action?

    2. That depends. How many idiots with lots of money to burn can Twitter scam?

    3. If they would just all themselves a ‘green energy’ company they could get that sweet federal money.Just ask Elon Musk.

      1. Well, derp is a renewable resource

  39. Lawyer comes up with brilliant defense = “My Client Lied, and is also an Idiot”

    1. Not the first time it’s been used.

    2. Actually, the lawyer is accusing Sean Penn of being a lying idiot. Which is not such a farfetched claim, if you think about it.

      If I were a defense attorney, having Sean Penn appear as a witness for the prosecution in the absence of any video or audio evidence to back him up would be pretty exciting. You know that with his temper, any half-decent litigator could twist him into a pretzel of apparent contradictions and repellently self-serving assertions.

      1. So,Mr. Penn,when did you stop beating Madonna?

        1. I really don’t think you could get people to hate him for beating Madonna. Who here hasn’t had the urge to do so at one time or another?

          1. Well,he has that gong for him,I guess.

    3. The lawyer represents Guzman (the alleged drug dealer), and the lawyer is saying that Penn made up the stuff he attributed to Guzman.

      But Penn published his article in a reputable magazine, and I’m sure the fact-checkers at Rolling Stone would have caught any exaggerations.

      1. +1 Shattered Glass Table

  40. I forget what exactly the details are… …but I’m pretty sure there’s a UN thing saying, “you’re never supposed to use captured troops of foreign government as media props”…. Geneva conv? Or something separate. I recall it being much discussed a few years back when Iran was doing the same thing w/ …. British sailors? I presume that the idea is that they could be compelled to ‘say anything’ including things they could be later punished for / which violated their own orders.

    Suddenly the media doesn’t remember any of this, and thinks its just groovy everyone is feeling so ‘apologetic’.

    1. I’m not sure Iran is a signatory to any of those policies. Ie, there’s no “deal” in place.

      1. They’re a party to the Geneva Convention. handling of captured military personnel is covered.

        To wit –

        Iran Likely Violated Geneva Convention by Publishing Propaganda Photos of U.S. Sailors

        More here

        I think the relevant subsection is Article 17, and subsequent details as to what those article demand -re: Media use of prisoners.

        1. Also Article 13:

          “Likewise, prisoners of war must at all times be protected, particularly against acts of violence or intimidation and against insults and public curiosity.”

          Here’s an article applying S13 to British prisoners in Iraq in 2003:

          http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/2881187.stm

          1. “Footage of captured US soldiers broadcast on Iraqi television violates the Geneva Convention, according to the International Committee of the Red Cross (ICRC), which says neither side in the conflict should show pictures of prisoners of war.”

            Well, they’re the official referee on this sort of thing.

            However, in the below link, there’s some arguing about the difference w/ Iran, given that there is no state of “War” or de-facto conflict.

            However, others note that taking foreign servicemembers prisoner instantly invokes the Geneva conventions under all circumstances. Particularly if there’s any dispute over the legality of their capture. In this case there doesn’t seem to be, but I haven’t seen the GPS data used as ‘proof’ the same way they did w/ the UK sailors in 2007

        2. There’s some debate here about the specifics of this claim, in reference to the 2007 UK sailors

          I think the thing that is specifically and clearly a violation is to be broadcasting the statements of the captured troops while they are still in custody.

      2. Doesn’t matter Diane. Those conventions are just expressions of customary international law, which is universally binding.

    2. Yeah it is a war crime. If the US did something like this Dohety and Richman would be on here having kittens together. Since it was the groovy peaceful Iranians, we get a post about how the stupid slut sailors were asking for it.

      1. You have to admit, it’s a really weird situation. The USN decides to have two patrol boats perform a 260 NM surface transit between Kuwait and Bahrain, during a time of year that the Persian Gulf is shitty to sail on. It’s also a path that doesn’t require that they get anywhere near Farsi Island, BTW. Further, the sea lane between the Saudi coast and the start of the 12 mile limit around Farsi Island is about 50 NM wide.

        Nonetheless, both boats run out of gas, and one has a mechanical malf so bad, that they can’t help drifting into Iranian waters. No attempt to set anchor, tow the boat with the malf, call for assistance from the French Navy’s Charles de Gaulle aircraft carrier that’s evidently down the street…call for assistance from the oodles of combat aircraft we and the Saudis have in the area, or from the Harry Truman CVN group that’s also in the Gulf… hell, call a Saudi fishing boat and negotiate a tow.

        I mean, what the fuck?

        1. If what you said happened is true it is very strange.

        2. Honestly, maybe the Navy is in that bad of shape right now. They are that poorly trained and their equipment is in that poor of condition. That seems to be the most likely explanation to me.

          1. Or maybe their GPS system malfucntioned.

            One of my big frustrations during my navular days was how GPS had completely killed our ability to navigate..

            Piloting consisted of taking a GPS fix, and plotting it on a chart, then drawing a line along our course. No effort to calculate set or drift. No attempt at keeping a good track if we were forced to use dead reckoning. Just a dot and a line. Then another dot and a line. And another and another. All disconnected, wandering across the chart.

            I were the ruler of some country that thought it might find itself in the target crosshairs of the U.S., I’d invest in satellite killers that could knock down the GPS system. It would mission kill half the ships and aircraft in the U.S. arsenal.

            Back to what happened here… Clearly poor material condition of the ships played a role. My guess is that the officers and noncoms were afraid to use their initiative to ask for outside help when the shit hit the fan, either because their chain of command would punish them or because they didn’t want to look like idiots.

            1. The Navel academy has gone back to teaching celestial navigation for that reason. Your reason, however, does not explain the malfunctions and running out of gas. That is training and maintenance.

              1. “Poor material condition” is navularese for “your shit is poorly maintained and in shitty shape”

                1. The brown-water Navy is problematic?

        3. Maybe John F. Kennedy was at the helm.

          1. I see what you did there.

            1. Apparently you’re the only one.

    3. There’s only one answer in two parts to this… Immediately rip up all treaties with them and to WAR!

      1. what treaties?

        1. Diane and Gilmore,

          i stand corrected. My bad… TO WAR!!!

          1. No, it’s more “TO CONTINUING TO DOING WHAT WE WERE DOING BEFORE!!!”

            1. You mean preparing to go to war with Iran? No thanks. I always thought it was a good idea for Iran to develop the bomb as it seems to make American right-wingers think twice about invading you or bombing you. You see, I’m the wrong person to ask on this subject as I think Iran has pretty legitimate national security concerns. Look what happened to their neighbor.

          2. Great save there, retard.

            1. I’m just trying to figure out who is the biggest pedant on this board, you or Brian. I think you’ve got it, friend.

              1. Everyone who knows what they’re talking about seems ‘pedantic’ to a complete retard.

            2. Hey!

              Oh wait… that couldn’t have been directed at me.

              Carry on.

      2. fuck off troll.

  41. Over/under for days until Joe Biden cures cancer?

    1. In his own mind?

    2. ”Cancer” is actually the name Joe gave his cooties. He will be cured of them by the end of the month after the surgeon general gives him his cootie shot.

    3. It’s *already* been cured! They’re just waiting for the right time to unveil it!

  42. http://losangeles.cbslocal.com…..al-street/

    Yeah, those driverless cars are right around the corner. And trucking companies are going to be risking the liability associated with turning this amazing technology loose on an 80,000 pound truck real soon.

    1. John, I agree with your pessimism, but just want to point out that they mean driverless in a different sense than you are thinking:

      The car was a conventional car in reverse with no driver in the seat. Based on the hood being up, I expect the owner was trying to check out something on the engine when the transmission was somehow placed in reverse.

      1. LOL. Sorry wrong link

        http://news.yahoo.com/google-r…..51800.html

        1. Better than humans. At least the ones I know.

          1. Not when you factor in the network security risks.

          2. Robc, that’s the PROBLEM with driverless cars: They’re better than humans. The human capacity to fuck up the operation of a car is limitless. Conversely, my ability to react to one of those idiots I see on the road is limitless.

        2. LOL. Sorry wrong link

          I actually read the first article three times and googled for other stories trying to figure out where the robotic driver appeared in it.

          Bastard. 🙂

          1. Come on, of all the wrong cut and pastes, that is a classic.

    2. Ive seen plenty of drivered cars doing doughnuts.

      Driverless cars do appear to have the same problem as anti-lock brakes. They reduce front end collisions but increase back end collisions. IE, other drivers cant deal with cars that stop properly.

    3. The Teamsters will never allow driverless commercial trucks on their watch. Ever. Just like the Railroad unions have successfully fought self-driving trains… that are on a set of fixed rails.

      1. Even beyond the Teamsters, how would you like to be the first trucking company sued after an accident and have the plaintiffs’ attorney tell the jury “if only the defendant had not been so greedy and had a person there to step in, my client would be alive today”?

        1. I can’t speak for the Hamster Cage of legal liability. But any industry that has a stranglehold isn’t going to take innovation that’s specifically designed to remove the human element lying down. ESPECIALLY if it works well.

          1. It won’t work well. The consequences of a network attack would be enormous. Hackers could hold a company’s entire trucking fleet for ransom. They could take over trucks and rob them or threaten to run them into other cars if the company didn’t pay up. Imagine if the consequences of every time your computer got a virus was a group of criminals taking control of your entire fleet of trucks.

            1. As a networking professional, every time you expand your operation to operate on a network, there’s always a risk that outside actors can attack or compromise your security.

              This is a bit like saying we should have never hooked up two computers because they’ll immediately be vulnerable to attacks.

              While is technically 100% true and perfectly logical, that’s why you have network security, engineers and architects to protect yourself from this situation.

              And, as we know from watching stories about Target, this does happen and the liability is enourmous, but we don’t disconnect all the computers.

              1. No security can ever be 100%. that is not a big deal when you are talking about electrons and nothing more. It is an enormous deal when you are talking about things like tractor trailers. The consequences of a breech are too high to ever take the risk, even if it is a small one. Moreover, since trucking companies are in continuous operation, the chances of a breach are 100%. The only question is how long it will be between successful attacks.

                1. My bank account balance is “electrons and nothing more”; the consequences of that system being compromised strikes me as many times more dire than a single truck hijacking.

                  And what about cars makes you think this nightmare scenario is more likely to come to pass than it would be with say, autopilot systems in airplanes?

                  1. Android, does anyone die when your bank account gets emptied? Not last I looked.

                    1. Android, does anyone die when your bank account gets emptied? Not last I looked.

                      So the possibility of millions of people having their savings wiped out is an acceptable risk, but the possibility of somebody being hurt by a runaway truck is an unacceptable one? What are the exact criteria at play here? What is the exact threshold of injuries or damages that must be crossed before your precautionary principle determines that a technology must be suppressed for society’s own good?

                2. We already have complex networks of things like airplanes which rely on wireless networks to geolocate or even provide their location in real-time for everything from commerce to safely navigating your way around the globe.

                  Keeping the genie in the bottle because someone could misuse it is really a non-starter.

                  1. I mean, come on, John, it’s not like government officials would ever do something totally retarded like use a private email server. There are safeguards!

                    1. That is right Diane. Or that a private company might completely fuck up. Everyone knows corporations are infallible.

                  2. But those airplanes are not entirely autonomous. There is a pilot there to take over. Beyond that, if the day comes where someone hacks and airplane and flies it into a building, I bet we are not relying on such systems much longer after that.

                    1. But those airplanes are not entirely autonomous. There is a pilot there to take over.

                      As a technology professional, there’s one thing I never predict: The Future of Technology.

                      I have no idea how driverless technology will ultimately be adapted. My guess is, like all technology, it’ll roll out with liability, regulations, activists social-network rabble, government corruption, and hostile unions all priced into the equation.

                    2. I bet we are not relying on such systems much longer after that.

                      “We” aren’t interested in sharing in your luddism.

                    3. fuck off, cretin

                    4. Cautionary tales are useful. If they are part of the design equation.

  43. Who is this jackandace character?

    On the other thread about top 10 sotu lines, he was talking climate change. Refuses to define why and what the problem is. Won’t say how the solutions whether renewables, carbon tax will abate said problem. And that I was being left behind whatever that means.

    Reminded me of those who want to “do something” for the sake of saying “something was done”. Results don’t matter

    1. His name is Joe. He posted here a lot back in the day then disappeared for awhile and resurfaced a few months back. He is very short and takes it out on other people. Also used to be a big fan of Hugo Chavez.

      1. Poster: the solution will be more taxes regs etc

        Jack: doesn’t have to be

        Me: what do u propose jack?

        Jack: a carbon tax

        as if he just forgot what he said above

      2. Also used to be a big fan of publicly state his approbation of Hugo Chavez and the Venezuelan government as a purely democratic one.

      3. So essentially a mini-me version of Sean Penn ?

    2. He is a very old poster called Joe from Lowell. Joe is the worst sort of dishonest partisan hack who was on here for years. It was all fun and games until Obama actually got elected and Joe quickly saw what a fraud he was. So to avoid the merciless beatings on this board that awaited him, Joe being a sad little man, ran off claiming the board was racist only to return every once in a while under different names. Jackland Ace is his latest one.

    3. He’s a former city planner who quit to go into the private sector, got laid off and ended up teaching English at a tony private school.

      He is a snobby progressive. He’s also an idiot. Hates Republicans. He’s pretty certain he can smell them miles away.

      He is also very courageous; despite being a Irish Catholic living in Massachusetts, he is a true blue supporter of the Democratic party.

      Routinely wins arguments that everyone else says he is losing. They are wrong of course; Republicans are too stupid to recognize they are losing arguments.

      1. He’s a former city planner who quit to go into the private sector, got laid off and ended up teaching English at a tony private school.

        How the fuck do you people (yeah, I said ‘you people’) know these details?

        1. Scary isn’t it?!?

          All of these details are either stuff he put on the web or inferences based on synthesizing his web postings with those of others.

          99% of it though he put on the web himself. 😉

        2. And we remember them while drunk!

      2. That last sentence sounds like Cytotoxic.

        1. Cytotoxic is even more retarded than Joe.

          1. But he is at least honest. Cytoxic is just a fanatic who lets his ideology make him stupid. Joe is a loathsome lying piece of shit.

          2. Still blaming Ayn Rand for the troubles with your ex?

        2. Ha ha ha

          1. Hey dude, yesterday, after you said that I must be a yokel who shoveled shit for a living, I told you that I actually shoveled code and words and pixels into corporate websites and other things. Then I asked what you did for a living. You never answered. Speak up, and be honest. I’m dying to know.

            1. Probably something related to biochem, given the name.

              1. Student, or test-tube washer?

                1. test tube washer.

    1. Is there ever enough? I prefer mine in a bottle with a dark color and nice head.

  44. New York Magazine has an interview with the guy who made that viral meme claiming you could give every american 4 million dollars with the lottery money. It’s amazing.

    “When Steve Bastien started working on his latest image macro, he had no idea it would be an enormous viral success. Then again, he also didn’t know it would be embarrassingly wrong. “I wasn’t even aware if the math was correct at the time,” Bastien, a Coney Island guy who works in HR and in his spare time does graphic design and music production, told me over email. “The thought seemed very profound, and it was a great topic of conversation.””

    “”People,” in this case, being a Facebook account called @livesosa, which picked up the image, pasted its handle over Bastien’s, and shared it. This was the version that really went viral, to the tune of 1.3 million shares. Bastien, perhaps happy to let someone share credit for his math error, remains copacetic. “I started seeing more and more people re-post the version with ‘@livesosa’ in the middle instead of mine. It didn’t bother me,” he said. “I am flattered that someone found something I did good enough to take it and make it their own. Good content is meant to be shared.””

    It was wrong, but it’s still good content because its wrongness was progressive. Yay.

    1. ‘”The two didn’t know each other at first, but Bastien says they’re now friends on Instagram. He also commended @livesosa for leaving the image up, regardless of mathematical error, because the sentiment that it conveys ? helping the less fortunate ? is the most important part. ”

      These people are retarded.

      1. Helping the less fortunate by posting photos…not actually doing anything

      2. Just like Nicolas Cage.

      3. Intentions matter, not results.

    2. The thing it taught me is how stupid redistribution is. If you divided the entire US GDP among the entire US population each person would only have about $50 000. And that is a lump sum ignoring how the US economy and the USD would be after such a thing has happened.

      1. There’s a famous anecdote (maybe apocryphal) about some 19th century radical barging into the office of some Gilded Age robber baron like Jay Gould and demanding that his wealth be redistributed to the people. Supposedly the robber baron consulted with his secretary, did some math, and gave the guy his share, which was less than a dollar.

    3. a Coney Island guy who works in HR

      HR… I knew it!

    4. “I am flattered that someone found something I did good enough to take it and make it their own. Good content is meant to be shared.””

      Uhm, nope. What this guy is REALLY saying is, “Phew, someone else is getting the credit for this colossal fuck-up!”

  45. Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.

    There are already enough Pravda-like news outlets in the airwaves as it is. Market Failure!

    Search teams in the Indian Ocean looking for missing Malaysia Air Flight 370 found a shipwreck from the 1800s instead.

    No word if the ship’s black box was recovered… or any doubloons.

  46. “Al-Jazeera America, based in New York City, announced it would be shutting down operations by the end of April.”

    Who advertises on Al-Jazeera America anyway? Coke and McDonalds don’t want to be associated with that image.

    And what demographic would advertisers pitch to on that channel anyway? 16 – 24 year-old America haters?

    1. AdAge is your friend

      “After going live last August with very few national brands — most prominently Procter & Gamble’s Gillette — the Qatar-backed cable news network has begun adding commercials from movie studios, various dot com companies and travel and hotel marketers, according to media buyers and a network spokeswoman.

      Executives declined to name the advertisers, however, and although Expedia ads ran on Al Jazeera America on Monday, commercial pods in daytime and prime-time alike were mainly devoted to direct-response marketers such as The Tax Doctor, Dollar Shave Club, Hip Hop Abs, GetDerm.com and Hair Club for Men.

      There were also pitches from insurance marketer SelectQuote Senior and an ad seeking people eligible to participate in a class action settlement.’

      1. So they were scraping the bottom of the advertising barrel.

        Hip Hop Abs and Hair Club for men are practically infomercials.

        What other news channels sell for bulk time at 3:00 in the morning, I guess those were the bottom tier prices that Al Jazeera America could command in prime time. Those are the advertisers that don’t care what channel they’re on or what demo your channel attracts–’cause they’re just hoping to catch your attention while you’re flipping through the channels anyway.

          1. It occurred during the first Bush administration, therefore “yes”. It was a time of rampant Islamophobia.

              1. I think 1980s Boy George would be considered very problematic in the current political atmosphere.

                1. I’m talking about the jazz hands jury in blackface.

                  Some of those guys in the Al Jazerra video were in blackface, too.

                  You just can’t do that anymore.

        1. And if you’re gonna watch a foreign news service, you’d watch the BBC (better international coverage), the Russian news service(in English with hot chicks), or the Spanish language news (not in English but with even hotter chicks).

          What niche does Al Jazeera fit into? We’ve already got the mainstream media and the Obama Administration giving us the Muslim take on every situation.

  47. So Obama used Lincoln and FDR as examples of Presidents who bridged the divides. Nothing say bridging divides then war. And before the war FDR didn’t bridge any divides with the Republicans since they were a small minority in Congress and he threatened to pack SCOTUS.

  48. Does anyone know why Nikki has gone insane? She was always a bit off but I always liked her. Now she is on here this morning claiming that saying that women need to be smarter about how they drink and who they sleep with in order to avoid rape and to be able to prove it if it happens is the same as the mayor of Cologne saying that women should no longer walk alone in public so the refugees can’t prey on them.

    That is Tony level DERP. What the hell has gone wrong with her?

      1. No. Nikki is nothing if not earnest. She has gone nuts but she is a serious person. Unless you hijacked her handle, she is not a clown.

        1. You are implying I am a clown? I assume you mean I am hilarious and not at all creepy. Thank you.

          1. I think that was supposed to be a Krusty the Clown reference?

            Clowns juggle.

            I can juggle. I used to be able to juggle pins and ride a unicycle at the same time.

            Nowadays, it’s either one or the other.

        2. For people who became politically aware after Bush Jr. came into office, they’re unencumbered by ideas about what feminism was supposed to be about before then, they see being anti-Muslim as definitive social conservatism, etc. And I think they feel compelled to debunk what they see as the social conservative aesthetic.

          And like I said, in trying to debunk that aesthetic, they aren’t encumbered by ideas about things like sexual equality if they became politically aware sometime after Bush Jr. took office.

          1. “”politically aware “”

            Is that what they call it? I’m still sticking with variations on “Retarded”. Tho someone on the #resistCapitalism told me that was totes “ableist”

          2. I chuckled…

    1. Re: John,

      Does anyone know why Nikki has gone insane?

      There were signs…

      Maybe there is something to those background checks that are sensible…

    2. Weirdly enough, it is the same thing….to women in Middle Eastern countries who don’t go to events or out alone at night because a significant number of men over there are the embodiment of feminist strawmen. God forbid our culture ever turns into that.

    3. the mayor of Cologne saying that women should no longer walk alone in public

      Do you have a link for that yet?

      1. I’m not participating in the John/Nikki hate-off, but i believe he’s referencing her “Code of Conduct” remarks that were widely seen as “victim blaming” in the media.

        As this dude notes

        “After news of the attacks began to leak out, Reker condescendingly advised German women to adopt a “code of conduct” in order to avoid sexual assault. She suggested that they “stick together in groups, don’t get split up, even if you’re in a party mood.” Then she added “make sure yourself you don’t look to be too close to people who are not known to you and to whom you don’t have a trusting relationship.” This is fine advice for a mother to give. But a mayor should be promising the restoration of safe streets.

        What’s worse is that Reker’s advice highlights that Cologne has temporarily lost one of the heretofore distinguishing features of Western civilization: the general sense of social trust and solidarity that allows women to venture freely and safely in central city districts. Her code of conduct sounded like a European concession to Sharia law: women must be modest and accompanied by trusted guardians, or else.”

        1. This is one place where libertarians should not be remotely surprised. If it continues, Europe will effectively be under Muslim law, because law (Muslim or otherwise) is not based in democracy, or morality, or anything of the sort. It is based in fear and violence.

          If the Islamic community can do violence against those who transgress some of its norms, with enough consistency to produce a tangible change in behavior (viz. drawing Mo) in society in general, then the Islamic community has usurped at least some of the sovereignty of the state, and any proclamation of the state that the people are free in those regards is baseless. In fact, a lot of the accommodation of Islamic illiberalism under the law is probably due to the state wanting to maintain an illusion of strength for the public; conceding that its sovereignty is compromised would be disastrous — every fascist, communist, etc. would look for an opportunity to finish them off and seize power.

          Granted, there is a lot of wiggle room about where sporadic violence transmutes into social control, but it’s clearly there on blasphemy, and trending that way on women’s rights.

  49. Yeah,the name does seem to be a draw back and the news lately doesn’t help.

  50. For the first time Ted Cruz targeted fellow Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump directly this week, saying the real estate mogul ’embodies New JEW York values.’

    FTFY if someone hasn’t already …

  51. TO WAR!!! Iran’s territorial waters have been violated by a warship, but they have no right to detain our soldiers because the u.s. Has been a beacon of peace and military restraint in the region.

    1. A warship?

      1. I really don’t know why you bother.

        1. Its funny.

      2. Gilly, I don’t know why your being such a bitch. I want what you Republican right-wingers want– an impetuous foreign policy decision made by a shit-kicker supported president and a land invasion of a sovereign country by shit-kickers fighting for our freedom.

        1. And someone to buy you lunch.

  52. The employee shot both of the suspects, but they fled the store, got in a car and drove themselves to the hospital, Tadros said. At the time the suspects brandished weapons, employees acted, “pretty much to protect themselves when guns are drawn at them,” Tadros said.

    “Thank God for concealed carry.”

    http://www.chicagotribune.com/…..story.html

    1. “the second time in a week a worker has shot two robbery suspects at a Chicago business”

      Interesting.

      2 months ago, the tribune noted a guy who used a gun in self-defense… and had his gun confiscated. The paper seemed particularly sympathetic, and pointed out that the cops stonewalled them as well when they looked into it.

      A major newspaper that isn’t in the bag for gun-grabbers? who’d have thunk it.

        1. Same here.

          1. huh. Maybe because i never read the Tribune i’m well within my ‘freebie’ limit. I get the paywall on the WaPo, NYT all the time because AM/PM links

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