Iran Frees U.S. Sailors, St. Louis Rams Will Relocate, Tommy Chong Feels the Bern: A.M. Links

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Brickbat: Take My Wife, Please 
By Charles Oliver

Obama Promised Optimism at State of the Union—Americans Don't Need Politicians For That: Optimism about America comes despite politicians not because of them
By John Stossel

Paperwork Can't Stop Criminals From Getting Guns: Why background checks won't stymie ordinary felons or mass shooters
By Jacob Sullum

SOTU: Obama Moves the Goalposts: Is there a better way to deal with this annual exercise in empty pageantry?
By Matt Welch and Jim Epstein

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  1. 136) You know, I’m sympathetic to Bernie supporters. Can you imagine being presented with Hillary as your de facto candidate, told you had to vote for her because it’s her turn? Good God, the revulsion I would feel. And then somebody comes along, sure an old white guy, but somebody at least, who says no, you don’t have to vote for Hillary. And his beliefs seem closer to yours than Hillary’s anyway, and he’s not some corrupt, hypocritical pol who’s ridden out scandal after scandal being stuffed down your throat. I mean, I would never support the old Commie, but I can definitely see his appeal.

    1. no, because you shouldn’t have a defacto candidate based on party affiliation.

      1. Ewwwww and vote for a Republican, gross. They hate gay abortions and want to teach creationism in our schools. I support science and think climate change is real. I could never vote for a Republican.

    2. I suppose if I knew nothing about economics, was poisoned by greed and envy, and was a complete and total idiot, I may see his appeal. But other than that, no.

      1. But we have to do what they want, Sarc, there’s no other popular and easy options.

      2. Seems about right

    3. Hello.

      “Is Nikki Haley “the GOP’s Obama?”

      No. She’s waaayy cuter.

      1. Seconded.

        1. Thirded!

          1. Indeed. Schwinnng!

            (Yeah, I know ? I’m a perv…)

      2. Let’s see.

        “Nikki Haley is a Mack Daddy! She pimps…”

        No, doesn’t work.

      3. She is in this way;

        She is more opposed to Trump than Obama, since she targetted Trump and not Obama in her “rebuttal” to the SOTU.

          1. If you criticize Donald Trump, you’re either a Democrat or a crypto-Democrat.

          2. She took her limited time to “rebut” Obama’s SOTU, and prioritized attacking Trump. From which I conclude that she is more opposed to Trump than Obama.

            1. How are the Republicans planning to beat Obama next November with THAT kind of crap going on?!

    4. Uh oh, it’s 9:03 and no Fist. I’m worried.

      1. CAN’T A GUY TAKE A DAY OFF EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE?

        1. You know, I’m sympathetic to Bernie supporters.

          This is what we get when you are not here. All hail the Fist!

        2. You know, you just have to call in your sick day. Not disappear like that. I mean, really.

          1. Don’t forget the doctor’s note.

            A psychiatrist’s note is acceptable.

            1. Idiots were in my office at 9AM. Normally I can pull off making comments while people are yapping at me but today I actually had to pay attention to them.

  2. Video shows the man walking into the store with a woman at about 2 p.m. He makes his way to the back of the store, to the snake area, sticks his hand in the tank, and takes out a black pastel ball python. He can be seen on surveillance video stuffing the python into his pants and walking out.

    Store co-owner and manager Christin Bjugan tells KGW the snake is about 2 feet long, and was being sold for $200. She says this type of snake isn’t aggressive. But on that day, the man got lucky.

    “It was close to feeding day. The snakes are very hungry, I know when I go back there on a Saturday or Sunday even, the snakes are up against the glass looking for food,” she said. “So he made it in the nick of time. They like dark warm places so he was probably very comfortable where he was at.”

    http://www.kgw.com/news/crime/…..s/13214478

    1. You know who else liked dark warm places?

      1. Every penis ever

        1. Thread over

            1. Yup, shut off the lights, we’re done.

            2. What about Japanese “herbivore men”? Or MGTOW? Why is it okay suddenly to other their penises?

              1. They othered themselves.

      2. Warty?

    2. You know who else had a python in his pants?

      1. Robert Plant?

      2. Jake Roberts?

      3. John Holmes?

      4. Peter North?

      5. Webb Hubbell?

    3. +1 trouser snake

    4. Is that a python in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?

      1. Hitler.

  3. Pathetic Complaints Department

    Over 300 vegans have complained about this ad. At 1.20 you’ll see why.

    1. I’ve yet to hear a vegan complaint that wasn’t pathetic. I’m sure one exists. Consider this a challenge, vegans.

      1. My dad recently turned vegan. Going to a restaurant with him now is even more embarrassing…

        1. Honest question.

          Can a vegan chick swallow cum?

          1. Mary Moon, she’s a vegetarian
            (Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
            Mary Moon will outlive all the septuagenarians
            (Mary Moon, Mary Moon, Mary Moon)
            Oh she loves me so, she hates to be alone
            She don’t eat meat but she sure like the bone

            Read more: Deadeye Dick – New Age Girl Lyrics | MetroLyrics

    2. I don’t know who are crazier, Aussies or Canucks?

    3. I didn’t understand a word.

    4. I hate the gluten complainers more. One person gave the local Tunisian restaurant — extremely good, BTW — 1 star because they didn’t have a gluten-free option for the couscous and (supposedly) kind of looked at her like she was crazy when she asked about it.

  4. A Pennsylvania constable serving an eviction notice wound up fatally shooting a 12-year-old girl instead.

    I repeat what I said last night. Isn’t “don’t shoot without knowing what’s beyond your target”, like, one of the first rules of gun safety?

    1. Rules only apply to people who are held responsible for their actions.

      1. Bingo. I’m sure subjectively the officer felt like he was threatened…which is the actual standard for liability in this country.

    2. Her idiot father was standing in front of her and had just leveled a loaded AR-15 rifle at the constable. Kind of a tough situation there, maybe the constable could have safely retreated, but maybe not.

      1. There are situations where the smart play is to put your hands up and back away. Depends entirely on the circumstances, of course.

        But, if this guy actually had an AR-15 pointing at the constable with intent, I don’t see how the constable has time to draw and shoot. Ima need some non-copstable confirmation that was the situation.

        1. Yes, more information is definitely needed.

        2. I’ll bet that dude will dispute actually pointing the AR at the officer, saying that the officer saw the gun, panicked, then killed his daughter. And being dude’s word against that of an officer, dude will not be believed.

        3. Waiting on the totality of circs, huh?

          Smart.

          1. I prefer “Wanting corroboration before I believe and trained professional liar.”

    3. This is mitigated when your target is pointing an AR at you.

      1. But what color was it? Did it have a bayonet lug, a folding stock, or a scope?

        1. It had the especially deadly “shoulder thing that goes up”.

          1. IT could LITERALLY spray bullets all over the place!!!!

        2. But what color was it?

          Hello Kitty pink, in a cruel twist it belonged to the girl.

        3. But what color was it?

          Hello Kitty pink, in a cruel twist it belonged to the girl.

    4. Who are you to judge this cop? No one can judge a cop.

      1. There was a Judge Dredd strip where the titular character arrested a trainee judge for striking a suspect after said suspect had surrendered. It’s sad when the dystopian fascists are more principled than our current system.

  5. One in 10 Americans would do porn for $1 million ? and 6% would murder for $1 billion

    Many Americans admit they would be willing to go to incredible, often horrible lengths for a big fat check, according to a new survey of 1,000 people conducted by OnePoll.com that asked respondents if they would commit questionable acts for money.

    The most startling stat showed that 6% of people ? including a whopping 12% of men ? said they would be willing to commit murder for $1 billion, while one in ten would be willing to commit arson, treason, armed robbery, mug someone with a weapon or even assist a suicide.

    For $1,000, 15% of people were willing to shoplift or bet on a fixed sporting event. For 13 of the 1,000 respondents, the price is enough to convince them to murder, but fewer were willing to poison a stray animal.

    1. Well I’d be willing to spend 1 trillion dollars of your money to save just one human being.

      1. I could never afford to do porn for that price!

    2. “How much do I get for participating in your silly-ass survey?”

    3. 6% of people icluding 12% of men. So 1 in 8 men and 1 in 1000 women.

      1. Knew there was something wrong with women.

    4. So people either have hypothetical price tags higher than what they’d actually accept, or the survey overbid.

    5. 6% would murder. 8% would trade places with buttplug.

    6. to commit arson, treason, armed robbery, mug someone with a weapon or even assist a suicide

      One of these things is not like the others,
      One of these things just doesn’t belong,
      Can you tell which thing is not like the others
      By the time I finish my song?

      1. Well obviously, Treason doesn’t require force, violence or even interacting with the victim.

        1. That was my assumption as well. I would be much more comfortable with treason than assisting a suicide.

    7. I’d poison a stray animal for free. Bastards are a menace. Wouldn’t shoplift for $1,000. Would have sex for a mil but no less (has to be enough to compensate for possible negative effects on my career). Probably would murder for a billion depending on if I knew the victim and I was certain I wouldn’t get caught and could explain the newfound cash.

      1. I’d poison a stray animal for free.

        I’d poison you for free, menace.

        1. Lived off and on in the country for a while. If they didn’t get eaten by predators, stray dogs dumped off by city folk could be a real danger. They aren’t afraid of humans and will go feral.

          1. 300 BLK with a night vision scope does the trick better. And makes you are better person… than a poisoner!!

      2. I wouldn’t even necessarily need to get away with it. If I knew I, or my estate, would keep the billion and it wouldn’t be confiscated as part of my punishment. I’d take the risk with a trial. Hell, if I get to choose how to murder the person it could probably look an awful lot like something less than a capital offense. Even if I was guaranteed to get caught, with some solid estate planning and billion dollars means my family and heirs can do an awful lot of things to offset the shame of how I made it.

        And given what porn performers actually make I call bullshit on 10% needing at least $1 million to do it.

    8. I guess those 6% never read, ‘The Tell-Tale Heart’.

      1. That narrator was around the bend before they murdered the old man.

        1. This is a good point.

    9. Only 1 in 10 for the porn thing?

    10. I don’t know, do we really want to put “do porn” and “murder” on the same scale? “Incredible, often horrible lengths…”? Is “doing porn” really that big of a deal for, you know, most people? I feel like a lot of people would PAY a couple hundred grand to get into the industry, let alone get paid TO DO porn. /shrug

      1. I know – knew? – this really slutty woman who liked to go to bars and sleep with a different guy every other week. She went through boyfriends like I go through razor blades.

        Anyway she and I were once at the bar discussing chatroulette and other cam sights. When I mentioned people having sex or “camming it up naked for the camera” she made an “ewwww” face like that was a bridge too far.

        1. *sites – damn I need some coffee

      2. The specific porn you’d be doing would make a big difference, I’d imagine.

        But, yeah, doing porn doesn’t really go with the other things.

    11. A lot depends on who I would have to kill.

    12. 12% of men and 0% of women are honest about what they would do for a billion dollars?

      Or the women just expect the men to do their dirty work?

      1. $50.

        Unless you’re the one picking the woman, in which case I’d demand $20,000.

    13. I think I should charge for NOT doing porn. The world would be safer knowing they’d never stumble on my naked behind in action.

  6. A new United Nations estimate says that 3.3 percent of the population lives in a country in which they were not born.

    I’m only in that situation because the country got forcibly changed around me. I want this “People’s Democratic Republic” to turn back into the country I was born in.

    1. Oh, pardon me, after *you.*

  7. “A new United Nations estimate says that 3.3 percent of the population lives in a country in which they were not born.”

    I think a lot of Americans, immigrant and non-immigrant, can relate to that. The country they’re living in isn’t the country they were born in.

  8. Denmark’s government may start seizing cash and valuables from asylum seekers.

    Making people salivate by calling yourself the Danish government will only distract these people for so long, so be careful.

  9. I’m surprised Bernie supporters haven’t started using B.O.C. for their theme song.

    1. +1 Joan Crawford (Risen)

  10. For those of you having a hard time with Bowie’s passing I’ve got just the thing for you. Don’t tell me I don’t care about your well-beingssss:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9NjFbz6vGU8

    1. Thanks. I’d only just gotten over Mr Hooper and now you bring it up again, you goddamned Canuck.

      1. Mr. Hooper is dead?!?! Next you’ll be telling me Lou Reed has gone to meet his maker.

  11. Denmark’s government may start seizing cash and valuables from asylum seekers.

    And people thought there were no more opportunities to grow up to be highwaymen.

    1. grow up to be highwaymen.

      Ugh. I would love to be part of a country supergroup.

    1. It’s Australia. Deadly animals in your house is expected there, isn’t it?

      1. For the most part, movies I have watched that are filmed in Australia seem to have the theme “don’t vacation here, because it could kill you.”

        1. Have an Aussie friend who lost his freaking mind when his daughter was stung by a jellyfish in florida. Took me a minute to figure out what his deal was, and then I calmly explained that his daughter was not going to die.

      2. Yeah, i thought deadly eastern brown snakes came standard with Aussie fridges.

      3. I assumed it was mandatory. Like you get one every time you’re forced to vote or turn in a gun.

    2. Not as bad as the drop bears in your ceiling.

      1. Don’t talk about those. It triggers me. Fucking drop bears killed my sister. They are a REAL threat and I don’t know why so many Americans laugh it up at them.

    3. A video taken by Mr Burrell shows him carefully shifting the fridge so he can pick the snake up, bare-handed.

      1. Pls. tell me the phrase “Hold my beer” makes an appearance.

      2. Picking up an Eastern Brown, barehanded. One of the most venomous snakes in the world, and pissy too, if the wiki’s right. Ballpark 10-20 percent mortality, but only because the snake usually lets you off with a warning bite before really chomping down. (Unlike, say, one of the mambas.)

        Mmmmm, great idea.

  12. Volunteers Needed to Cuddle Goats at Caromont Farm

    The farmers make goat cheeses, so 24-hours after the kids are born they start bottle-feeding the babies and milking the mothers. The kids have to be bottle-fed four times per day.

    They are separated by size and kept in pens with heaters and hay to keep them warm. They even get small sweaters to wear.

    “We love to have people come and see that whole process – see where their food comes from,” said Isabella Zechini.

    Anyone can volunteer. You don’t need any kind of prior experience, just a willingness to snuggle and feed the babies.

    1. “Come do our work for free to keep our prices competititve. ” When leftists do it, its volunteering and internship; when I do it, its slavery and false imprisonment.

      1. I wonder which one it is for the farmers in the article?

      2. You know something, I’ll bet they could probably charge for the experience and people would pay it.

        I know if they told me that it was $10 for a 4 hour session cuddling and feeding baby goats my daughters (and probably wife) would demand I sign them up

        1. I might sign up. Baby goats are cute.

      3. Was Tom Sawyer a hippie?

    2. Well, when goats are babies is before the turn evil, so sure I can see the appeal.

    3. I’m not hugging anyone who kick a 27yd FG.

      1. So vikings are fine?

    4. I would be interested in cuddling some goats. /Daesh/ISIS/DumbfuckIslamistTerrorist

  13. Also, last night I, um, investigated this Sunny Leone chick. All I have to say is that silicone is the enemy of all that is right and decent in this world. The sad things is, I bet Sunny was amply proportioned before the implants. So why ruin it?

    1. 95% of all porn is over-sized fake titties, ridiculous transparent high heels and way too much make up and way too much squealing in fake pleasure. It’s terrible, but apparently it’s what most people like, porn for the common man. The other 5% is fart fetish, for those with tastes for the finer things in life.

      1. JESUS, FS, that post said a lot more about YOU than about internet porn…

        1. I gleaned that information from People Magazine…I wrote it on behalf of a friend…I’m uh… conducting a sociology experiment. *slowly backs out of room*

      2. Solution: change your search terms on pornhub.

        1. When you search a basic term you get thousands of videos that are effectively identical. Now if you search a Japanese site you may get a few tentacle porn vids here and there, but almost all of it is novel, almost as though the people making it are actually trying. Japanese porn tends to be story or scenario driven, rather than just close ups of loose butthole. Or so I’ve been told…

  14. USC apologizes for requiring students to detail sexual history

    Senior Vice President for Administration Todd Dickey apologized for any “discomfort caused” by the course

    He also apologized for his name.

    1. His very name is a microagression!

      1. “May I help you?”

        “Yes, I’m here to see Mr. Dickey.”

        1. Bow chicka BOW wow

    2. His name coulda been worse. Like Todd Dickish.

      1. I had a math teacher in HS named Dick Bern.

    3. Yeah, I never liked the name Todd…

      Is it true his Pakistani wife’s name is Sookma?

  15. Hello from the land of General Order No. 1. Fortunately the fact that I am in a land far away prevented me from seeing the SOTU, I think a good bout of IDF would be better than that…

    1. But not 122s… or mortars.

      You could always mute Teh Lightworker.

      1. Meh. They have pretty awful aim. In OIF, we would go out to watch them miss the installation altogether. Stupid on our part, but good entertainment.

        1. Funny, in Afghanistan, they were very hit or miss (mostly miss) but when I was in Iraq – I almost got blowed up real good, more than once.

          1. We must have had the B-squad in Mosul, what with the first stringers getting their jihad on in Fallujah at the time.

    2. I think I’ll have beer for breakfast today. Got House of Lies on the tv too.

  16. What do betting markets say about the candidates?

    Research has shown that probabilities derived from betting markets are more accurate than polls at predicting political outcomes. For the purpose of convenience, this site lists estimated probabilities of each candidate winning a major party nomination, the general election, and the general election conditional on winning a major party nomination. It uses data from Betfair to perform the estimation.

    Republicans
    Name Nomination General Conditional*
    Marco Rubio 31.1% 13.6% 43.9%
    Donald Trump 31.0% 13.6% 43.9%
    Ted Cruz 21.8% 6.1% 28.1%
    Jeb Bush 9.9% 4.5% 45.1%
    Chris Christie 3.0% 1.7% 55.7%

    1. What are they basing these odds on?

      1. Betting data from Betfair (legal UK-based election gambling).

        The “Conditional” column, by the way, is the derived odds of a candidate winning the general election if they were the nominee. They have Hillary’s current general election odds at 50.5% and conditional odds at 63.4%, for the record.

    2. I’ve seen this a lot, but the numbers are only good because they integrate everyone’s best information about candidates, with some bias filtered by actually putting their money on the line. If you look at many of the old betting scores from previous races, there were plenty of times where the market wasn’t favoring who the actual winner would be. By the time you get to election time they tend to be right, but again, they are often wrong on the run up. Why? Because they are integrating the same information you and I integrate- which right now is pretty much polling data.

      1. I just don’t see Rubio getting the nom. If he does, it will be because the establishment dragged him over the finish line he will lose the general, even to Hillary, because the base won’t turn out for him.

        1. I don’t agree, unfortunately. People ultimately vote for charisma. Rubio, bless his little warmonger heart, has charisma in spades. Assuming he isn’t successfully painted as a little boy (which will be the dem strategy) mushy indies will look at him and the melted wax figurine masquerading as Hillary and will vote for him in a second.

          Rubio also has the most plausible pivot on immigration, which will help him in the general.

          Not saying it is a lock for him, but he definitely has a lot going for him.

          1. Rubio also has the most plausible pivot on immigration,

            I don;t know that multiple flip-flops are going be a plausible pivot, especially this year.

  17. One of the Libertarian Party’s biggest celeb supporters, Tommy Chong, has deserted for team Sanders, calling him the “one candidate this year [that] has said things I truly believe in, like supporting the legalization of … a fair and humane immigration policy.”

    The Libertarian Party may not be big after this election, but it may be more ideologically cohesive.

    1. You know what happened last Tommy tipped the scales?

    2. I thought Sanders didn’t like immigration.

      1. My thought too. Though I do think a more humane immigration policy is one without welfare benefits and forced association…

        1. Indeed. Getting stuck in the dependency cycle is not what I would call “humane”.

      2. I think he wants to ban it with a smile.

  18. Is Nikki Haley “the GOP’s Obama?”

    Everything must be compared to something else always!

    1. You have snatched the pebble, Grasshopper.

    2. Other than being female, actually having executive experience and apparently capable of negotiating racially charged aituations without radical demagoguery, sure.

      1. Yeah but she’s a darker shade with white mannerisms. So the two of them are IDENTICAL.

  19. One of the Libertarian Party’s biggest celeb supporters, Tommy Chong, has deserted for team Sanders, calling him the “one candidate this year [that] has said things I truly believe in, like supporting the legalization of … a fair and humane immigration policy.”

    Cheech and Chong burnt pot-head jokes aside, he never was a libertarian if he jumps ship for that hobo Grandpa Gulag. Then again, he is Canadian so Sanders just may pass off as one to my compatriots.

    1. We just have to accept that most “artistic libertarians” aren’t really libertarians. They’re of the “libertarian” ilk that once all food, shelter, education, health care, utilities, transportation, and sanitation is “free”, then we’ll all be free as jay-birds. See David Brin, Neil Peart, apparently Chong, et al. In short, anyone who doesn’t have the concept of scarcity as front and center to their libertarian philosophy, then they aren’t a libertarian. If they can conceptually default to an endless cornucopia out of which goods and services fall, they’re on the wrong path from the start and they need to choose another moniker.

  20. “A new United Nations estimate says that 3.3 percent of the population lives in a country in which they were not born. ”

    I have no opinion on this utterly meaningless estimate.

    1. 37.4% of people considering this might agree with you!

      /flees

      1. *searching horizon with narrowed gaze*

    2. /puts away statistic showing 74.2% of people wish they were born elsewhere.

  21. 8,500 kilos of Dutch cheese was stolen from dairy farms last year

    The weight of cheese stolen from dairy farms in the Netherlands last year was around 8,500 kilos, with a value of ?90,000, the NRC says on Friday.

    At the end of last year it emerged cheese had been stolen from three dairy farms in Brabant. However, the NRC has indentified a further six cheese heists, including the theft of 200 cheeses from a farm in Gelderland, with a value of ?25,000.

    Cheese has to ripen for at least 10 months before it can be categorised as ‘old’, when it is most valuable. The loss of the cheese has had a serious impact on the farms, which have their own pool of dedicated customers, the paper says.

    1. A crime that leaves a distinct pungent smell.

      1. Stings the nostrils, but in a good way.

      2. So, sorta like prostitution?

    2. That’s no gouda.

  22. South Korea is calling on America and other allies to inflict “bone-numbing pain,” in the form of sanctions, on North Korea after the country’s latest nuclear test.

    Maybe a wicked soju hangover?

    1. As if blaring K-Pop across the border weren’t punishment enough.

        1. This is how I feel about it.

          Watch the girl on the right.

          https://youtu.be/vyc39PXA2NE?t=1m28s

          1. The show must go on!

          2. HA ha. They sent the injured/heart attacky girl’s replacement out before they sent out some suit to haul her off stage like a dead body.

    2. Ugh. Took a three hour cab ride I don’t remember after a couple of soju bowls in the ville. The hangover was brutal, almost considered not drinking anymore after that.

  23. Tourist bitten on nose after she tries to kiss a python

    A video clip posted online shows two men during a show calmly holding the python as the woman leans over to kiss it.

    People in the crowd are heard screaming as the three-year-old, 5 ft-long python leaps at the woman, grabbing her nose and holding tight while she tries to pry it off. Phuket Biotechnology lets visitors take pictures with the snakes during the show for souvenir photos.

    Phuket News reported that she was taken to a local hospital where she received treatment. Thai media published a photo they said was of the woman, who reported has returned home to China, with several stitches in her nose.

    1. Oh, yes, put your face right up to the wild animal with literally no more than a reptillian brain.

      1. A lot of times people operate on the “but it won’t happen to me” principal, whether or not it is backed up by any reason.

    2. “Does your snake bite?”

      1. “No”

        AIEEEEEE!

        “I thought you said your snake does not bite?!”

        “It is not my snake – it is Phuket Biotechnology’s snake!”

        1. “Your honor, my snake never bit anyone before! I don’t understand. He’s usually very friendly. He plays with my three year-old all the time! But your honor…listen to me!”

    3. “Phuket, I’m here.”

    4. Good thing she didn’t try to French kiss it.

  24. The NFL has approved the St. Louis Rams’ return to Los Angeles this fall, and the San Diego Chargers may follow.

    Maybe playing the first half of a game to a near-empty stadium will help them win some more games next year.

    1. LA doesn’t like football, they just hate the idea of flyover cities having football when LA doesn’t.

      1. Weren’t the L.A. Rams wildly popular?

        1. But they didn’t like the Coliseum. So now they are moving back to play… in the Coliseum, until the city builds them a new palace.

          1. Actually, I think the new stadium in Inglewood would be 100% privately financed (other than tax breaks).

            1. That’s what the Yankees and Mets promised in NYC a few years ago.

              They lied.

      2. No it will sell out like mad because they have hit on a perfect system up in San Jose and Dallas- make the stadium so lush and expensive that it is a status symbol to have seats at the game. You aren’t there to watch a game, but to make business transactions and hob knob.

        1. *ding ding ding*

          Every new stadium is like this, and the old stadiums can’t shoehorn “suites” in fast enough.

          The owners’ and athletes’ hookers and blow don’t pay for themselves, you know.

    2. Everybody with sense is leaving St Louis.

    3. I used to be a St. Louis Rams fan until the Hands Up Don’t Shoot stunt. Glad they’re leaving now.

  25. Electronic Doomsday for the US?

    The danger to the United States is particularly consequential due to the close military cooperation of North Korea and Iran. Their combined capabilities, as demonstrated recently, could very well signal a future nuclear attack of the electromagnetic pulse type, for which the U.S., at the moment, is totally unprepared.

    The threat to the United States from an electromagnetic pulse (EMP) attack — the high-altitude detonation of a nuclear weapon over the United States — is so potentially catastrophic that both the 2004 and 2008 reports of the Congressional EMP Commission said so openly — probably in the hope that the public warning would spur the nation and the Department of Defense to action. [1]

    Even an EMP attack from a single 10-kiloton nuclear weapon — of the type now in North Korea’s arsenal — could cause cascading failures which could black out the U.S. Eastern Grid for months or years, and devastate the civilian economy. An EMP, detonated at an altitude above 30-70 kilometers, could be delivered by a short-range missile fired off a freighter, hundreds of kilometers off U.S. shores.

    1. Because they somehow wouldn’t be concerned about nuclear retaliation?

      1. Not an expert, but I looked this up for a plotline. The best effect for an EMP weapon would be a high-altitude detonation, which disperses some of the radiation, and radiation has a far more localized effect than people may realize.

        Would radiation be a concern? Sure, if you lived within, say, fifteen miles under the area where it detonated. The EMP would do the greater damage, merely because we are so grid-dependent..

        I only know that it worked enough for artistic license (aka bullshitting) to cover the rest.

        1. The wiki for nuclear EMP answers some of the questions about how powerful and long ranging the effects can be.

          As to what you need for a significant effect, any nuke will do, and if the wiki is to be believed, low-yield, pure fission weapons are more efficient at producing the prompt gamma radiation that powers the E1 component of nuclear EMP that is most devastating to microelectronics, than large thermonuclear weapons. Still, while low yield devices may have near-equivalent peak pulse field strengths to high yield devices, they have much smaller affected areas than those large yield devices.

          Further, as the altitude to prompt gamma graphs at the wiki show, you really need to get out of most of the atmosphere in order to have a significant effect. The Starfish Prime test in 1962 that caused such a commotion and introduced the idea of EMP in the first place, was 250 miles up, and was a 1.4 megaton yield device. Neither of which are likely within North Korea’s capabilities, yet, though Taepodong-2 could easily get that high, if they ever get one to fully launch successfully . OTOH, they can make a Scud—they call theirs the Rodong-1—and Scud B has an apogee of 150 km, high enough to have a considerable effect.

        2. There is a video of a man standing under a nuclear blast that was only like 6 miles above him.

          Crazy shit. He was fine and lived a long life.

      2. Because they somehow wouldn’t be concerned about nuclear retaliation?

        The question is whether or not the US could pin the bomb on the offending country. Let’s say the bomb pops off, and it takes a couple days to assemble the chain of evidence necessary to link it to Iran or NK. Would the world- even the people of the US- tolerate us launching a nuclear strike on that country? What if it took a couple weeks or a month?

        I think there is enough doubt, and enough “Blame America First” people out there that a nutjob in NK or Iran would seriously consider making the move.

        1. EMPs are high-altitude attacks. I would think it would be much easier to trace those back than, say, a smuggled nuke.

        2. If it was launched as stated, from a ship sitting off shore a few hundred kilometers, we would know pretty quickly. Same for a missle or a bomber. And I doubt the public would tolerate a failure to retaliate at least in kind at a minimum if it would really cause as much disruption as stated. It would still be a nuclear strike against the United States, which wouold require a retaliatory response.

        3. Even better, in the case of NK, if they do it to Japan instead. Much closer, which makes it easier to get the rocket where it needs to be; smaller, more densely populated country, which makes the required size and number of warheads smaller; and Japan doesn’t have nukes.

          We do, but are we going to make NK glow, and kill another half million people like the last time SAC decided to bring the pain to North Korea’s cities? Or are we going to undertake regime change, and undertake what will be a hideously expensive conventional assault through over a million starving fanatical KPA soldiers?

          1. I would think on nuke on Pyongyang, properly timed, would result in regime change.

            1. One vote for the crispy half million platter then.

              1. Well, if they nuke us first, yeah.

              2. Plus, a successful EMP attack on the US would result in millions of deaths, I believe.

                No electricity = no refrigeration = busted food supply chain = many dead people.

      3. Blame the Sunnis. Give the shiftless POTUS of the time an excuse not to nuke them.

  26. Turkey detains three Russians after Istanbul suicide attack

    Turkish police have detained three Russian nationals suspected of links with Islamic State following a suicide bomb attack in Istanbul that killed 10 tourists, according to the Do?an news agency.

    Police in the Mediterranean city of Antalya also seized documents and CDs during a search of where the suspects were staying, the agency said. It was not immediately clear when the detentions occurred.

    Russia’s consulate confirmed that three citizens had been detained.

    1. I see we’ve reactivated The Great Game. Let’s find a Harry Flashman for the area.

      1. But Turkey and Russia for the juggernaut. My France is going to team with the Brits to roll the Germans then we can deal with the juggernaut.

        /diplomacy reference.

  27. “A Pennsylvania constable serving an eviction notice wound up fatally shooting a 12-year-old girl instead. ”

    I wonder if having two types of cops might solve some of our problems. Much like we don’t expect the guy who hands out speeding tickets to be the guy sniping the bank robber with hostages. Why should we expect the guy who answers domestics to be the same guy as the one responding to a reported gun sighting.

    The job should be separated out in big cities and require different training for each. One takes calls where there is a reasonable expectation that lethal force might be necessary, and one responds to calls where lethal force is not the expectation. Splitting things will help reinforce positive behaviors and allow for extra training in de-escalation for cops who specialize in life or death situations.

    1. This is the reason every state and local police department, federal agency, and many bureaucracies have SWAT teams. It is not a good thing.

    2. IIRC, constables in PA serve subpoenas and court orders. So it’s already bifurcated like you suggest.

      1. Ah, nvm then. It apparently doesn’t help. Though reading up in the thread, it seems the guy was fairly justified in his shot.

        1. Without some corroboration, I am reluctant to believe the copstable’s story. For obvious, I hope, reasons.

    3. But, as we all know, there is a war on cops. a WAR on COPS. Did you hear me? Every situation required potentially deadly force and as many tacticool items as we can manage to get. The guy answering domestics might be jumped by some evil domestic terrorist right-wing-nut-job and you can’t have that. Why do you hate cops? Why do you have safety?

      1. I know a few people who’re total cop apologists. It drives me nuts. Also a client who works for the fire department . . . plus my job has made me develop a healthy aversion to cops, prosecutors, CPS employees, etc. etc.

    4. At the very least. Maybe it would be for the best if the guy tasked enforcing traffic laws and ensuring motorist’s safety is not the same guy looking to lock people up for drug crimes. Perhaps there’s some way we could round up all the police personel and concentrate them in central locations, for everyone’s safety.

  28. Denmark’s government may start seizing cash and valuables from asylum seekers.

    As opposed to ‘asylum seekers’ seizing cash and valuables from the government of Denmark?

  29. “Denmark’s government may start seizing cash and valuables from asylum seekers. ”

    You know what other European government seized cash and valuables from a religious minority.

    1. All of them?

    2. The Romans, Charlemagne?

    3. The answers to all questions are either consolidation or Nazi.

    4. Vikings?

    5. Agamemnon’s forces at Troy?

  30. ISIS Burns Its Own Fighters Alive

    ISIS fighters who fled to the terror group’s Iraqi stronghold of Mosul after being defeated in Ramadi were burned alive in the town square, sources told FoxNews.com, in an unmistakable message to fighters who may soon be defending the northern city from government forces.

    Several residents of Mosul recounted the grisly story for stateside relatives, describing the deadly reception black clad jihadists got when they made it to Mosul, some 250 miles north of the city retaken by Iraqi forces operating with cover from U.S. air power.

    “They were grouped together and made to stand in a circle,” a former resident of northern Iraq now living in the U.S. but in touch with family back home told FoxNews.com. “And set on fire to die.”

    1. Now, *that* is “fighting to the death”.

    2. Wonder if they soaked them in gasoline first? Either way, this is NOT going to help ISIS’ recruiting numbers…

      1. Of course it will, because everything helps ISIS recruiting numbers.

    3. Pour encourager les autres.

    4. Retarded. They couldn’t have held Ramadi so they retreated and could have been used to defend this territory. No, instead let’s burn them alive, thus cutting our potential recruitment and lessening the number of fighters we have in Mosul.

      Fucking geniuses.

      1. And it would be so fucking hard to wipe these animals off the face of the earth.

      2. If they were smart, they wouldn’t have joined ISIS.

      3. And they didn’t even toast marshmallows in the flames

          1. Roast Jihadi isn’t halal.

          2. One ISIShawarma coming up!

      4. Dont they know you kill 10% at random then send the remaining 90% back out with a new understandingof job requirements?

    5. Do they still get 72 virgins? Or do they get the fugly white women even the black guys won’t take?

    6. Whoa! They fought back?

      But that’s just what ISIS WANTS!!!!!

  31. A new United Nations estimate says that 3.3 percent of the population lives in a country in which they were not born.

    One day we will all be or have an anchor baby.

  32. Across the river from me:

    a href=”http://tinyurl.com/hhbsp6t”Portsmouth Mayor leads Sheriff on wild car chase over expired inspection sticker.

    A number of my Facebook friends have pointed out that Portsmouth is simply defending its claim to be the Florida of Eastern Virginia.

    1. WHA HAPPEN TO MY HTML TAG, SQUIRRELS

    2. Ha! Watson knew exactly who he was pursuing. He was probably relishing the opportunity to pull Wright over.

      I got a call from Watson once. He wanted assistance with valuing a bulldozer that he was about to purchase off craigslist. He used it to clear a ditch without permits and caught hell from the city about it. He was delighted.

      1. Portsmouth’s city government is the answer to the question “What’s the worst that could happen?”

  33. “One of the Libertarian Party’s biggest celeb supporters, Tommy Chong, has deserted for team Sanders, calling him the “one candidate this year [that] has said things I truly believe in, like supporting the legalization of … a fair and humane immigration policy.””

    Didn’t Bernie Sanders want less immigration on the grounds that importing poor people undercuts wages and the welfare state?

    Googling makes it appear Sanders is totally schizophrenic on this issue and has no idea what his plan is. Half the time he apparently wants to scale back immigration, the other half of the time he wants to halt deportations. I guess having no clue what you want is a ‘humane immigration policy.’

    1. Sanders is closed borders yes. But don’t bother Chong with your bourgeois facts and logic. Only the Revolutionary Truth matters.

      1. Chong does have a reputation for being perpetually stoned.

  34. Next up at the Supreme Court: Obama’s Immigration Policy

    The answer to this question, and the ultimate fate of the administration’s program?officially called the Deferred Action for Parents of American Citizens and Permanent Residents, or DAPA?will turn on how the Court handles, as a precedent, its blockbuster decision last June, King v. Burwell, which effectively saved another signature Obama legacy initiative, the Affordable Care Act. In King, Chief Justice John Roberts, writing for a 6-3 majority, rejected an interpretation devised by conservative legal advocates to “drive a stake through the heart of Obamacare.” King’s immediate impact for health reform was certainly important, but its long-term significance could be broader and greater. This is because Roberts spelled out an elaborate reset of the Court’s role in politically charged conflagrations over complex and consequential statutes like the ACA and the immigration laws?vis-?-vis Congress, the executive branch, legal and political activists, and, by implication, litigious state governments.

  35. I’ve discovered the greatest poet of all time.

    “what wud reelee help

    is if president bush n his entire

    kabinet wer impeechd

    4 war crimes konviktid n

    all givn life sentences

    without chance uv parole

    thats what wud reelee help”

    1. Agile Cyborg?

      1. Agile Cyborg is vastly more self aware.

        pleez care pleez dont cut th arts


        whn societeez ar bcumming mor
        brutal they cut th arts

        it is countr produktiv both ekonomikalee
        n in manee humanitarian wayze 2 cut
        arts funding espeshulee in thees
        trubuld times

        2 cut th arts is 2 cut edukaysyun
        qualitee uv life th well being uv
        artists whos work harvests profit
        making gains that benefit
        evreewun

        pleez rekonsidr

        1. Oh my god, i hate Bill Bissett so so much.

          1. He’s an award winning poet and people wonder why no one reads poetry anymore. At least it’s not as mind numbing as Claudia Rankine’s poem about Obamacare.

            1. Idiocracy is here.

              1. His day job is head writer for Ow My Balls?

            2. ‘Award winning’ is somewhat meaningless these days. They give awards out like warts.

    2. Ladies and gentlemen, The Godfather of Canadian poetry.

      GIVE THAT MAN A GRANT. IF HE HAS ONE ALREADY GIVE HIM ANOTHER GOD DAMMIT!

    3. Dayum… Ontario’s education program is really slipping.

      1. Notice “funding” is correctly spelled

  36. The ‘vampire girl’ who drinks her boyfriend’s BLOOD

    Although she was dressing in black and putting talcum powder on her face, Ms Condon tried to keep her active vampirism a secret as friends called her ‘weird.’

    Awesome photos.

    1. She looks exactly like how you’d expect her to look.

      1. Like a pretentious narcissist?

        *checks*

        Yep.

    2. Why did I know that was Daily Mail before CLICKING?

      1. ‘Cuz you hovered over the link, cheater. I’m on to you.

        1. Before hovering, you CRETIN.

    3. I thought this kind of shit went out of style in 1991.

    4. But she refuses to swallow.

      I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier.

  37. Steven Green gives the night’s best State of the Union post mortem.

    This was Obama’s Al Bundy speech, the lowly shoes salesman desperately trying to get everyone to remember that time he scored four touchdowns in the one game.

    Er, that is President Obama wanted us to forget most of the last seven years he’s actually been President, and instead remember that time Candidate Obama gave those big speeches everybody loved.

    I’d say even by that modest measure, tonight’s speech was worth of an Al Bundy nap.

    1. It’s funny how liberal portrayals of knuckle-draggers like Al Bundy or Archie Bunker tend to backfire and the caricatures become the stars of the show. But everyone like money.

      1. The characters were the stars of the show? Like intentionally.

    2. Except that is pretty much every major Obama speech. “Remember 2008? I was really on fire, wasn’t I?”

  38. Let’s see how the new firmware upgrade holds out:

    Lifetime interview with Clinton to show ‘softer’ side

    In an new interview with British television host Amanda de Cadenet set to air Wednesday night on Lifetime’s “The Conversation,” the Democratic frontrunner puts politics aside for an hour-long gabfest in which she discusses date night with Bill Clinton, girls night out with her friends, as well as figuring out how much emotion to show as a woman candidate for president. The interview also includes an ethnically diverse panel of female YouTube stars hand-selected by de Cadenet to interview Clinton about women’s issues that resonate with the show’s 18-34 female demographic.

    “How do you process all the emotion coming at you?” de Cadenet asks Clinton in a clip the television host shared with POLITICO.

    “It’s a really, really smart question,” Clinton responds. “Here is my dilemma. Maybe you can give me some advice here. It’s really important not to wall yourself off from how you are actually feeling about what people say or how they treat you or how they treat somebody else that offends you or upsets you — but you’re also as a woman in a high public position or seeking the presidency, as I am, you have to be aware of how people will judge you for being, quote, emotional. It’s a really delicate balancing act.”

    1. I might watch that for a billion dollars.

      1. Yeah, I’d want it in my account before I tuned in.

    2. Women 18-34 watch Lifetime? When has that ever been true?

  39. One of the Libertarian Party’s biggest celeb supporters, Tommy Chong, has deserted for team Sanders

    Hey Tommy, you know those bongs you were selling? Take the biggest one you have left and smash it over your own stupid fucking head, no worries, there’s nothing up there to damage. And when the Bern sics his drug czar on you, STFU, no one cares this time.

    1. Chong thinks you should have the freedom to do anything you want, except earn a good living.

      1. In fairness, Chong seems to care about social issues much more than economic ones and Bernie isn’t that bad on a lot of social issues. I can see the appeal to an aging pot head.

        1. The thing that pisses me off is they’re calling him a libertarian. Sorry, libertarians don’t support communists. Does he consider himself a libertarian? He’s had one bowl too many and should just forget about politics and stick to getting wasted and listening to his old albums, over and over again, and stay away from voting booths for the good of all the rest of us.

          1. People like Chong calling themselves libertarians are why there are conservatives out there who think it’s all about drugs and prostitution.

          2. If you believe that freedom doesn’t include the right to keep the money you make and earn a living any legitimate way you choose to do so, then you don’t believe in freedom. Just because you can smoke pot or have sex with anyone you choose, doesn’t mean you are free.

          3. I’m guessing that the only reason he ever called himself a libertarian was because for a long time it was the only party that supported drugs legalization. Now that the socialist is on board, Chong has someone else to support.

            1. Yeah, the socialists support a lot of things until they finally get the total power they want, then they turn into China and off to the gulags you go when you don’t shut up and do what you’re told.

              1. But, but, but, that’s not the intention! It will be different this time!

                1. Hey, sarc, I forget where you live. Is it Maine?

                    1. LIar, If you really liven in Maine that would have been “Ayup” not “Aye”

                    2. It’s “Ayuh” not “Ayup.” And I said I live here. Not that I am from here.

                    3. Ayup is Vermont.

        2. Chong seems to care about social issues much more than economic ones and Bernie isn’t that bad on a lot of social issues.

          This makes Chong a member in good standing of the “fiscally conservative socially liberal” club, which way too many people think is “libertarian”. Its not and Chong shows why: because when push comes to shove, socially liberal always wins out, and your socially liberal proggy wins the day.

          1. As SF put it awhile ago: They’re libertines, not libertarians. See also, Maher, Bill.

          2. As I prefer to say, I am fiscally libertarian and socially libertarian, which is entirely different.

          3. Can I get your definition of libertarian? Don’t want a dust up or anything, but while I agree fiscally conservative/socially liberal isn’t a perfect definition, it certainly is orienting enough in a 140 character world we live in today. It certainly is better than those who think it’s simply about “teh drugz” or whatever. The reality is a person rarely has the time for a bible and verse on pure “libertarianism” and shortcuts are needed. If it helps, I typically qualify right away with the “get the government out of people’s lives” as the real objective, and by then you’ll see if you have an entrenched statist or someone that you might be able to get “deep” with.

          4. Can I get your definition of libertarian? Don’t want a dust up or anything, but while I agree fiscally conservative/socially liberal isn’t a perfect definition, it certainly is orienting enough in a 140 character world we live in today. It certainly is better than those who think it’s simply about “teh drugz” or whatever. The reality is a person rarely has the time for a bible and verse on pure “libertarianism” and shortcuts are needed. If it helps, I typically qualify right away with the “get the government out of people’s lives” as the real objective, and by then you’ll see if you have an entrenched statist or someone that you might be able to get “deep” with.

            1. fiscally libertarian/socially libertarian.

              This works real well too– “get the government out of people’s lives”

              In fact, that’s one of the best answers for a 140 character mentality

            2. My beef is more with the actual revealed preferences of many people who claim to be socially liberal and fiscally conservative.

              (1) When the two come into conflict, socially liberal always wins.

              (2) Socially liberal seems to include a lot more than “leave me alone in my private life”, and too often includes things like forced association, etc.

      2. A lot of people who already have all the money they want seem to think that way these days.

    1. The people who run the GOP suck. They view the party as a way to get rich and be a self important asshole. The object is not to win or get anything done. It is to get rich and feel important while keeping the despised rubes who vote GOP at bay. That is it.

      It is why they hate Ted Cruz so much. Cruz actually has the temerity to expect the party to represent its supporters and try and change things for the better. And they will never forgive that satanic bastard for it.

      1. Read the comments. These are the same assholes who kept writing Paul off as a liberal and isolationist. Now that the GOP with their help have finally managed to get rid of Paul, they are crying because the only guy who stood up for our freedoms and constitutional rights has been driven out. Idiots.

        1. They get the party they deserve.

        2. To be fair, there seems to be a lot of libertarians who wrote off Paul as a socon turncoat who are also pretty disappointed that his campaign is tanking.

          1. I criticized him for pandering to SoCons too much. I see absolutely no benefit of it for Paul. He lost a lot of his libertarian base, in particular the young people who loved his dad, to chase after something he was never going to get in the primary votes. The SoCons have their guys, Huckleberry, Santorum, or Cruz. Why would they vote for Paul? They think he’s a liberal. He fucked up, but I still supported him.

            The SoCons would vote for him in the general, but not the primary. Who the fuck was his campaign manager? Get rid of that guy whoever it is.

          2. To be fair, there seems to be a lot of libertarians who wrote off Paul as a socon turncoat who are also pretty disappointed that his campaign is tanking.

            Wait–are you saying that supporting him like there was no tomorrow would have been a better idea than kicking him at every chance they got for not being libertarian enough–even though, there at the beginning, it looked a whole lot like Rand could do what his father couldn’t?

            Why that’s crazy talk.

            Besides, there’s a lot of people at reason who are getting a berning sensation when they unrinate–it probably means that they’re ready for Hillary.

    2. The people who supported Boehner and McConnell for six years and gave us such charismatic candidates as John McCain are going to fuck up this election, too? Only these idiots could snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

  40. I had to go to a cocktail party last night. At the party two women started talking about politics. They said they were leaning towards supporting Hillary because they really didn’t like Cruz or Trump that much. Their reasons for not liking the guys were dubious and petty. It seemed to me that they were deliberately avoiding knowing much about Hillary, that they were going to vote for not-the-republican all along. No matter who they are, no matter how awful the democrat and no matter the good or bad the republican, they were going to vote not-the-republican. Talking to them was pointless.

    *In the past one of these women strongly supported price controls on gasoline and the other said that she would take in as many syrian refugees into her home as she had room for.

    1. she would take in as many syrian refugees into her home as she had room for.

      I trust she has alerted the administration to this.

      1. She has also determined that her house has no room for anyone else with all the smug it’s storing.

        1. But if it did, trust, she would be on that like guilt on white.

          1. As a white person – I feel no guilt for anything done by other people.

            1. As a member of the commentariat, how do you feel about sarcasm?

          2. like guilt on white

            Solid gold, HoD.

    2. Their reasons for not liking the guys were dubious and petty

      Well, I’m sure it has nothing to do with them having the wrong sex parts.

      1. If Bernie gets the nomination they will vote for him.

        They hate conservatism for all the wrong reasons and they know it, they just won’t admit it. They are only pretending to mull things over before deciding. They decided years ago to be democrat only voters.

        1. Well, they might wind up in total poverty and have to wait in line for hours to buy toilet paper, but at least they can get a free abortion from the state. Got to have priorities.

          1. at least they can get a free abortion from the state

            The wait time may in fact exceed nine months.

        2. Sounds like most of my academic friends: they get into all these deep and meaningful conversations about philosophy and political theory to justify their votes but, when it gets down to it, they’re just Team Blue sycophants who will always vote that way.

          My fav was one of my friends who declared in 2008 that McCain’s choice of Palin meant he could no longer even consider voting for McCain because he’d chosen such an unqualified veep.

          1. My fav was one of my friends who declared in 2008 that McCain’s choice of Palin meant he could no longer even consider voting for McCain because he’d chosen such an unqualified veep.

            Who was still more qualified than Obama. Galling, isn’t it?

        3. I hate conservatism for all the right reasons.

    3. You should have told the Syrian refugee lady that Hillary has murdered thousands of Syrian refugees.

      1. Well I did tell her about the South African lib couple that opened their farm to muslim refugees and were threatened and forced off of their farm by their guests. She ignored me and kept babbling on about what a compassionate person she is.

        The whole thing was one disgusting display of social signaling. She has no intention of doing any such thing.

        The one who wants price controls on gasoline is too young to remember the last time that was done. She is also dumber than a mud brick. The energy crisis in the 70’s was created by Jimmy Carter. I explained the very simple mechanism by which price controls create shortages and how it has worked out for Venezuela to no avail. She ignored me also.

        1. What sort of price controls on gasoline? Are you saying she wants to pay more for fuel?

          1. Maximum prices. Consumers should never pay more than…I forget what number she pulled out of her ass. Somewhere close to two bucks per gallon. She said she ‘feels’ that gasoline should never cost more than milk. When I pointed out that milk in Louisiana is currently twice as expensive as gasoline she pursed her lips and looked away, refusing to make eye contact. That is when I wished all a good night.

            I think from now on when I drive my wife to these little shindigs I am going to bring my dog and he and I can wait in the parking lot. I will go down the street and get some fried chicken which we can share. I don’t think I can stand the sight of those people anymore. My dog is much smarter, better company.

            1. “She said she ‘feels’ that gasoline should never cost more than milk.”

              That’s just an absurd comparison. I’m dying to know what her explanation would be for price parity between gasoline and milk. What principle is that based on? That no liquid should cost more than gasoline??

              It reminds me of that politician who stated (in support of some stupid “fighting obesity” regulation) that it’s outrageous that a 2-liter of soda is cheaper than a box of blueberries. People just draw connections between two completely unlike things and bemoan the fact that the difference in price is more than what they think is ideal (this ideal, of course, being known by some mysterious principle that cannot be divulged to anyone).

        2. Quit oppressing her with your facts, you mansplaining oppressor.

          1. Yes, clearly a privileged member of the patriarchy should have checked his privilege at the door.

    4. Most people vote against the other team rather than actually voting for someone.

      1. ^This, it’s basically just social signaling to demonstrate that you are a memeber of the correct tribe.

        1. More like a lesser of two evils. Problem is that they’re both evil.

      2. Yet another reason for “None of the above” to be a legitimate ballot entry.

    5. Then you have the Speaker of the House who looks at what is happening in Europe and says to America “Hey kids lets get you some of that”.

      http://www.breitbart.com/big-g…..thats-not/

      1. “That’s not who we are” is the dumbest saying in modern politics.

        1. Yes. It is just an even more dishonest way of saying “anyone who disagrees with me is unAmerican”.

          1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gouAcayDwLM

            46 fucking times… if you can stand it…

        2. He stole that from Obama.

      2. Paul Ryan is even stupider than John Bonehead?

        1. Eddie Munster is a Bonehead in training.

    6. Suthenboy: Sooo…I believe they call it menage-a-trois?

      1. That’s French for “where did I get this social disease from?”

    7. You should show them the interview where she yuks it up about attacking a rape victim for her client. Yeah, it’s unfair, she’s a lawyer, it’s her job, but you live by mawkish bullshit, you die by mawkish bullshit.

    8. That’s a microcosm of why Trump will lose to Hillary.

  41. One of the things that bugged me about Assassin’s Creed: Syndicate was the laughable depiction of child labor in Victorian London. Every time you would liberate a factory, they would have nine or twelve child laborers and fifteen or twenty adult guards keeping an eye on them. Real factories didn’t need to guard the children – they were there because they needed the money. Those who ran off got “oh well, no pay for you, more where they came from.” I always felt bad when I forced the kids out of employment and into destitution on the streets.

    1. If you can afford 20 adult guards, you can afford 20 adult workers.

      1. That too. I meant to imply it, but I got distracted by a phone call.

      2. 40 adult workers. You have to pay your guards better than the average riffraff.

        1. You lost me there. Guards aren’t riffraff?

          1. Hell no, guards are the guys that get between your valuables and the riffraff. They are your enforcement arm, and the more third world you go, the better you need to treat them.

    2. We need a mod so that after you liberate the factory, you can take it over and make the children work 15 hours a day.

      Ubisoft sucks.

      1. I don’t even own that game, and am not a big fan of the Assassin’s Creed games. I have Blackflag and couple others. I don’t like gameplay style very much. Next Ubisoft game I want is Far Cry Primal so that I can have a sabertooth for a pet.

    3. Well, they gotta give you somebody to fight, hence the guards. It would be pretty poor gaming if you just walked into a factory and “liberated” the orphans, only to have them go right back to work so they could, you know, eat.

    4. Also, the kids in the settings of their previous games had it even worse but were conveniently omitted. You think factory work in the 19th century is bad? How do you think farming in the 16th century, before the invention of labor-saving devices, was?

    5. Right, I’m pretty sure they kids’ parents fulfilled the same function as the guards. If you walked off the job, you probably would get a beating, but not from some thugs standing guard.

  42. Woke up to ten inches of snow. Hooray for telecommuting!

    1. Woke up to ten inches of snow

      You may want to close your bedroom window before falling asleep.

  43. I would like to see some demographic data on who has pre-ordered the Oculus Rift VR viewer. I was hammering my finger on the table the other day wondering if I should buy one, along with a combat game I will never play as a beard,

    1. Are you saying you want an Oculus for… other media?

  44. San Francisco city gov’t continues its efforts to get more wymenz hired in tech!

    “Parental leave getting a big boost at S.F. City Hall”
    […]
    “”Parents now are forced to choose between really important, fundamental moments in their child’s life and the long-term economic stability of the family,” she said. “It’s truly an impossible choice for any parent.”
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/…..754546.php

    We know it’s impossible since all those kids have been tossed on the street, abandoned by their poor, starving parents!

    1. How do parents not have enough saved ahead of time to cover the time off? Even if the baby is an oops you have eight months to penny pinch in preparation, and at most your household income is only reduced by fifty percent (Dad isn’t recovering). These things aren’t unforeseen by any stretch of the imagination.

    2. How about choosing to not have a baby? You know, with that contraception that I pay for. Which is better than me buying you a fucking vacation with your goddamn kid that you can’t afford aaAAIIEEE *steam pours out of ears*

    3. Let’s make a city where it is already economically excruciating for an ordinary couple to raise a family and make it impossible. This is California liberalism in a nutshell.

      1. That article is so chock full of derp it is remarkable.

        “Perk for the privileged”

        Fuck you. The baby-making set is a protected class at my employer but that doesn’t make me “privileged”, it means I worked hard to get a good job.

        And the smug… holy crap that is what drove me out of that city. It is everywhere there.

    4. Whoa whoa whoa, the example family couldn’t find a “suitable” house for less than $4k a month? I don’t think mandating 100% paid time off for family leave is addressing the problem here.

      Seriously though, my wife just had a baby. Undoubtedly there are a lot of important things going on in little SFC Baby’s life, but he’s pretty much a drooling, cooing, pooping sack of potatoes. I’m not missing anything really, really important for his development by being at work for 10ish hours a day.

  45. Was thinking this morning about Trump and whether or not he is serious about actually taking the job.

    Does anyone know if he is in the early stages of forming a government? Is he making lists? Putting out feelers for who may or may not be willing to be a part of it?

    1. I believe President Trump will hire liberal activist Sean Penn as Secretary of State given they both have a deep interest in keeping El Capo in jail.

    2. If he wins, he’ll take it.

      How serious is he? Compared to who? The incumbent?

  46. A new United Nations estimate says that 3.3 percent of the population lives in a country in which they were not born.

    What about people born in countries that no longer exist? East Germans now live in Germany without ever moving, for example.

  47. Has their ever been a larger group of transparent liars to ever run this country? I mean it’s not even like they lie about things that will come to bite them a week or even a day or two after they say them. They lie about things that are disprovable before they even come up with the lies. I mean this Iran Hostage situation that occurred yesterday is hilarious you have Kerry and Biden going out of their way to thank Iran even going so far as to release an official statement thanking them for something that is clearly an act of war and is being used as propaganda by Iran to showcase their military authority and power in the region.

    1. if this were an episode of veep, the writer would be showered with awards.

      1. ”There is no I in freedom. Freedom is not me-dom, it’s we-dom!”

        1. “There’s also no “u” or “we” in freedom. There is, obviously, “dumb” in freedom.”

        2. Ben: You listen to me you little fucking turd’s assistant, you don’t threaten this administration, because we will fucking destroy you. We’ll skin you like a squirrel, clean you out like a dirty fucking chimney, and wear you like a glove puppet with my fingers sticking out your dead, fucking eyeballs.

          Kent: I cannot endorse that message, but I do acknowledge it.

    2. Surely the US would release Iranian sailors that quickly if they broke down in the Gulf of Mexico.

      1. By the time they made it to the Gulf, they would better be described as “survivors” than “sailors”.

  48. OT: I have finally gotten around to writing – er drafting – the medical marijuana article, and I love it! Legal research and writing makes me so happy.

  49. saw in another thread that Obama called out Fox news and Rush in the SOTU….is this true?

  50. Say it ain’t so Tommy.

    The only Bern I feel is his socialist hands in my wallet.

  51. Say it ain’t so Tommy.

    The only Bern I feel is his socialist hands in my wallet.

  52. My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can’t believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do..

    Clik This Link inYour Browser….

    ? ? ? ? http://www.WorkPost30.Com

  53. my neighbor’s half-sister makes $83 every hour on the computer . She has been without a job for 9 months but last month her payment was $17900 just working on the computer for a few hours. why not try this out

    +++++++++++++++++ http://www.Wage90.Com

  54. my neighbor’s half-sister makes $83 every hour on the computer . She has been without a job for 9 months but last month her payment was $17900 just working on the computer for a few hours. why not try this out

    +++++++++++++++++ http://www.Wage90.Com

  55. Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this – 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link, go to tech tab for work detail.

    _+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+_+ http://www.Paybucket40.com

  56. my neighbor’s half-sister makes $83 every hour on the computer . She has been without a job for 9 months but last month her payment was $17900 just working on the computer for a few hours. why not try this out

    +++++++++++++++++ http://www.Wage90.Com

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