North Korea

North Koreans Celebrate Unconfirmed H-Bomb Test


Thousands of North Koreans gathered in Kim Il Sung Square in Pyongyang on Friday to celebrate their country's purported detonation of a hydrogen bomb. While the blast that registered from North Korea is consistent with a nuclear test, many remain skeptical the Hermit Kingdom has developed the much more devastating H-bomb.

In March 18, 2014, at an event sponsored by the Reason Foundation, The New York Times columnist John Tierney sat down with author Michael Malice to discuss his book, Dear Reader: The Unauthorized Autobiography of Kim Jong Il. During the conversation Malice talked about the nuclear and military capabilities of the North Korean regime.

"They have the fourth biggest army on earth," Malice reminded the crowd. "They 100% have nukes. There is no question they have nukes. The question is delivery and will they fire them." You can watch the full discussion below.

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  1. Harrerura!

  2. “Thousands of North Koreans gathered in Kim Il Sung Square in Pyongyang on Friday to celebrate their country’s purported detonation of a hydrogen bomb.”

    Or, they were giving out free bread.

    1. Or possibly not giving reeducation vouchers.

    2. Or know what it takes to keep getting fed and living in relatively nice apartments in the city.

  3. Mr. Malice is a great name, but instead of “Michael” it should be “Baryuno”.

    1. If he doesn’t show up to an appointment is it an Absence of Malice?

      1. When friends get him gifts, is it done with Malice aforethought?

      2. When he goes to gamble at Caesar’s, is he Malice at the palace?

        1. Hey! I already made that reference.

          ::throws yellow flag at DenverJ’s feet::

    2. Is he a shitty movie starring Nicole Kidman and Sharon Stone?

  4. FWIW, this professor of Geoscience in Edinburgh, claims through looking at seismograms from North Korea’s previous tests, that the yield from those tests was anywhere from 90 tons of TNT to 5.5 kilotons. Other sources I’ve read think the test might be up to 15 kt, or about Hiroshima-bomb sized, but no higher.

    Provided the geologic strata for the 2013 test is similar to that of 2016’s test, the fact they have the same ground movement magnitude of 5.1, sounds like this test is about as powerful as the 5.5 kt test in 2013. And while 5.5 kt might be the primary for a sophisticated staged thermonuclear device, like the B61 the USAF drops from planes, it’s probably not one all by itself. With a yield that low, it might not even be a boosted fission bomb, which is sort of an intermediate to a two or more stage thermonuclear.

    We’ll know more, if and when the ground fissures over the test site, and some drone covered in high-tech stealthy flypaper manages to grab some bomb debris.

    1. “Sophisticated” is an adjective that probably doesn’t describe the NK nuclear program. You know that if they actually had a fission-fusion device, they would have gone way bigger than 5-10kt.

    2. There was at least one Rivet in the area, but they may have been caught by surprise.

  5. Someone get Madeleine Albright over there with a crate of food.

    1. Yeah, if they wanted more food, all they had to do was ask.

      1. Madeleine ate it last time.

  6. To celebrate, they blasted Katy Perry in the Square all night long.

    1. More human rights abuses from the hermit kingdom.

    2. You mean you wouldn’t blast Katy Perry if given the chance?

      1. I saw her at the waterpark at Atlantis a while back. Her body isn’t nearly as good as it appears on TV. Didn’t even give her a second look, and I was in line for a slide right behind her.

        1. I just hope you didn’t see her after she missed a few proactiv treatments.

  7. Related: check out the trending #ResistCapitalism. The pictures that Twitter highlights, presumably as they are the most re-tweeted or liked or hearted or whatever, are from those mocking the hashtag. Right now it’s a picture of the Khmer Rouge, before and after in Cuba, contemporary Venezuala, etc.

    1. Capitalism regularly boasts about people ‘making it through’ barriers that are not supposed to be there in the 1st place #ResistCapitalism

      Barriers like property lines, man.

      LET THE RECORDS SHOW #ResistCapitalism was started by REVOLUTIONARY anti-capitalists from marginalized groups. Not reformist Bernie stans.

      Need to make sure we all know who is responsible for this momentous achievement. A hashtag hath been trended!

      #ResistCapitalism “socialism is just as bad”

      No. No it is not.

      For the record, I’m bored waiting for a washing machine to open up. Otherwise I wouldn’t be looking at this.

      1. You’d have your own washing machine if it weren’t for stupid capitalism.

        1. Or I could be spending my time washing the laundry by hand, which would teach me a good work ethic and appreciation for the labors of the masses.

          1. Just turn it inside out and wear it again. It’s the manly thing to do.

            1. It’s probably also the socialist thing to do.

          2. Washing by hand requires soap. In the zero growth utopia, we will just bang them with rocks. Gently, so as not to chip the rocks.

            1. You don’t need 17 kinds of soap.

              1. Or 17 kinds of clothing. In the coming utopia, we’ll all just have our one gray uniform like everyone else’s gray uniform. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be equality. And we’ll all get up at 4am every morning and wash our gray uniform by banging them with rocks. Utopia sounds wonderful, why doesn’t everyone want to end capitalism?

                1. And we shall always wear our FDR pin right over our hearts.

                2. I used to joke about the building code, as they kept adding more rules and getting more and more specific about everything. I’d say “They ought to just design the house we should all live in and get it over with.” I don’t joke about that anymore, I think they were listening and getting ideas.

                  1. If the energy codes get any more ridiculous, we’re going to have to go back to using fucking candles instead of light bulbs.

                    1. Or just replace all the high efficiency bulbs after inspection.

                      Candles would be funny as they are far less energy efficient than regular old incandescent bulbs.

                      The codes are getting stupid. I’ve decided just never to have the final inspection on my house and see what happens.

                3. Brown would be better. No visible skid marks.

      1. But all the problems in North Korea are because of the imperialist dogs of the USA. Dear Leader told me so! If capitalism would just disappear, NK would be bathed in light!

        1. North Korea is a socialist paradise.

          They knew all along that buring carbon would hurt Gaia.

          They are ahead of the times, man…ahead of the times.

          1. Verily, they shall be spared the wrath of Gaia!

      2. You capitalists degrading the Norks just because they’re green!

    2. Yeah the ones by Dave Burge were funny

      As for the sincere ones…
      Yeah, I’m sure that wasn’t staged. Homeless people normally just stretch out in the middle of the sidewalk.

      1. And they totally have bleached white socks and unscuffed shoes.

        I’m not even sure that’s one of the sincere ones.

        1. If so, they’re a brilliant satirist. He spends a number of tweets attempting to argue that the state, not capitalism, deserves credit for the iPhone and other technology. Also “What are we supposed to do to dismantle the system, write letters?” ooh, you’ve bested us once again.

        2. You don’t even have to go there. Nobody sleeps head-down on a slope. They put him in that position to match the bed, but it must have been pretty uncomfortable.

      2. Based on the dated furnishings in the store behind the “hobo,” I’d say that one is about 25-30 years old.

      3. Randomly select 10,000 #ResistCapitalism posters, give em $1 mil each & a Carribean resort island, wait 3 months, and voila, cannibalism

        Burge is great.

        1. That made me laugh so hard, I almost puked.

      4. And the homeless totally aren’t comprised largely of people that either aren’t working or getting the mental health treatment they require due to state regulations.

        1. In that same way, the photo is like most misguided critiques of capitalism. A guy is mooching off a state-sponsored service (public sidewalk) in the context of a market-based service (store) and they’re all lumped together as a failure of capitalism.

    3. That is a nice little scrap they have going.

      1. #ResistCapitalism is what trends on Twitter when 12-year-old One Direction fans try to engage in politics.


    4. I really enjoy the “poverty is man-made and there would be enough for everyone without capitalism” stuff.

      I also like the irony of all these idiots typing that crap on their iPhones. The lack of self-awareness, while predictable, is still impressive.

    5. I am always partial to this photo of Fidel Castro wearing two Rolex’s on one wrist.

      1. Would it be “Rolices”?

    6. We are not students in the education system, we are commodities to make money from. #ResistCapitalism

      Would that be the same education system run by…the government?

      94% of the world’s income goes to 40% of the ppl, while the other 60% of the ppl must live on only 6% of world’s income #ResistCapitalism

      Does this idiot realize anyone posting on twitter from their iPhone is part of that 40%?

      1. “Would that be the same education system run by…the government?”

        Which is why the system sucks a$. That and this whole special “student” class. Apprenticeships make some sense. But a student pays a gang of sages to teach him a skill, yet somehow he does not have the relationship with them that is consistent with someone contracting with others to obtain a service. Instead, it’s some weird child–parent relation that makes no fucking sense and which, if you can’t keep up the pretense, makes the process nighfucking impossible. The fact that a thrid party is in fact usually arranging payment–some organ of the state–only fucksolidifies the delusion that prevents a legitimate market in education from being played. Same fucking thing with doctors. Somehow, you go to a doctor, contract for his services, but then it’s like you’re a child under his tutelage, and he’s got to make sure you do this and that and don’t hurt yourself and so on, and even if he never fucking provides the service for which he was contract, he still gets money shoved in his hole, almost invariably in large part by some thrid party, increasingly some erection of the state or other. Men are either free moral agents or they fucking aren’t. Crap like this queers the freedom of contract and makes me want to puke. Plus, I’ve slept sort of head-downwardsly in trees lots of times and a few times on u?policed verges, just not at a real sharp awngle.

        1. For what it’s worth, in trees is most of the best sleeps I ever done. The tree branch is, it seems, the ideal dormition utensil. There’s a perfection to branches with such frequency, it’s like man was made for sleep in tree. The single best night sleep I ever had, though, was on the floor of one of those wee Toyota vans that used to be so popular. I don’t know why. I never tried to repeat the XP. And I wasn’t sleeping alone, then.

  8. A monumental achievement from a starving nation, I’m glad they have their priorities in order. I still wonder how likely it is that they merely crammed a hole in the ground with a shit ton of tnt, some ash from their reactor, and maybe a low yield device, and… boom. I could see it taking them ~3yrs to produce enough tnt to replicate the “last detonation” without attracting too much suspicion..

    1. Plus the three years it took their forced labor to dig the hole with spoons.

      1. Spoons are for earners!… they’ll just have to make do with their hands..

  9. Suwwenda Now Ewil Amewiccans o we will Cwush you BOOM!

  10. Which Reason commenter was this by the way:

    Hookers and blow FTW

  11. “”Capitalism tells us to educate ourselves in order to do well. But they will make us poor when we do that””

    i presume she’s talking about having to pay for college, not the pain of losing her delusions.

    1. Perhaps she’s referring to the crushing realization that majoring in gender studies, and/or social justice might not have the path to prosperity she envisioned… it’s sort of a niche’ market..

      1. And perhaps she’s just retarded.

          1. Because retarded people don’t have the capacity to lie or be disingenuous. *

            *My high school principal told me this after I questioned him taking the word of a retarded kid that outed me for allegedly pissing into the milk carton cooler while waiting in line.

            1. Damn, you were so busted

              1. Two days of in-school suspension.*

                *we had two important basketball games coming up.

  12. Related: North Korea Shows Latest Submarine Missile Test Launch

    North Korea is believed to be capable of deploying a small nuclear warhead on a missile and has several types of missiles capable of delivering such warheads

    1. Yeah… um, that’s like 1960s era special effects.

      1. More like 1860’s

      2. Hey smart guy, it’s on the internet so I am pretty sure it’s real.

    2. Washington Free Beacon,…whatever happened to Ellison Barber? Mmmmm….Ellison Barber(lustful sigh).

  13. Well,on the other hand,North Korea does have the worlds fastest chickens.

    1. And rats.

  14. #resistcapitalism.


    If I was on the twatter, I might start my own hashtag: #shut-the-fuck-up-and-go-to-work-you-lazy-twunts

    1. Using the word ‘work’ would be triggering.

      1. Yeah, one should use “transient kinetic actions” instead.

    2. In the twitter account I linked to above, he retweets a guy admitting to laying in bed while talking shit about capitalism.

      1. In bed they’re eager to let their “creative juices”.. flow..

        1. ‘shudder’

  15. I am having trouble seeing the downside of selling South Korea all the arms that it wants, declaring an end to the Korean War, and getting every American serviceman the hell out.

    Maybe Cytotoxic can tell me why we have to keep troops there in perpetuity.

    1. I have to agree.I’m for pulling them all out of Japan and Europe also.And let’s let the Arabs and Persians settle their own accounts.

      1. As long as the Japanese constitution gets an amendment, sure.

        Maybe we can sell them some Raytheon exoskeletons, and if the pattern holds true, buy Gundams from them in 10 years.

    2. I agree. But, it’s a shame you’ve lit the flare…it was feeling like a grown ups thread here.

      1. I say we let Canada take over.

        1. Then we can blame them!

      2. Sorry. I just find it funny when the short Canadian warmonger calls me a “PEACENAZI”. Maybe he heard it last year in eighth grade.

        1. Well,when you live in a country with no skin in the game,safe and secure between two oceans and your major trading partner is a friendly nation ,right next door you have to have something to bitch about.

          1. Three oceans actually.

            1. It’s only two until global warming changes it for good in another three or four years.

            2. Forgot the Arctic .My bad.

              1. That’s OK. It’s a trivia question that Canada and the US are the only countries with shores on three oceans.

                1. And I knew that,3 beers ago.

    3. Non-proliferation.

      The threat of utter obliteration if they try any invadey stuff is the only thing that keeps the Norks in check. If we pull out of the region, South Korea and Japan are going to want their own nukes. Along with Australia, New Zealand, and probably some of the emerging economies in SE Asia too.

      1. 30 thousand US troops are not that much of a threat and SK has a strong military.The big threat would be the US sub fleet.Only need one to wipe out the North.

        1. No disagreement on that. But have you not heard the term “tripwire”? What you describe is the exact reason we have the troops there.

          1. Listen closely,the South has a very good military and they don’t need US troops there,period.Europe and Japan can take care of themselves too. Israelis fight their own battles,why can’t they?

            1. Israel’s neighbors aren’t insane (and Israel has nukes, of course).

              The Norks don’t care about fighting a good military, in fact they might benefit from it seeing as how they don’t give a crap about their people. They do care about Dear Leader Porky and his generals being vaporized, something SK does not currently have the capability of doing (but they will want that capability once we leave).

              1. BTW,the only way the US would use a nuke is if the North does first,not in a conventional attack.US troops are not a ‘trip wire’ in that sense.Your way off base in you thinking.

                1. “BTW,the only way the US would use a nuke is if the North does first,not in a conventional attack.US troops are not a ‘trip wire’ in that sense.Your way off base in you thinking.”

                  True, which is how USA–Korea got this fucking mess in the first place.

              2. Israel’s neighbors aren’t insane

                [citation needed]

            2. When he says ‘tripwire’ he means ‘we need some Americans to die during the Nork invasion to have a clear cassus belli’.

              1. The proper term is ‘cannon fodder’ and it shows how little regard he has for the soldiers that are there.

                1. Blood and treasure is lube for the war boner.

                2. “Cannon fodder”? When was the last time an American soldier was killed in Korea?

                3. No – cannon fodder is not the proper term. They’re not there to die. But by being there they complicate the North Korean analysis of whether or not its profitable to move south.

                  Without the American troops, a strike south can be played off as ‘just’ a Korean problem. Especially if China makes noises of support – the US doesn’t want to go toe-to-toe with China (and really, hey don’t want it either. Both sides know China will lose, badly, but not before giving the US a very embarrassing bloody nose).

                  But if we’re there and come under attack, that’s an automatic, built-in, excuse to go to war that pretty much no one can gainsay or weasel around. Even the Chinese would have to ‘agree’ (read: say in public) that the Norks went too far and they can’t get involved (directly).

      2. Good. An armed international society is a polite international society.

        1. You’re assuming rational actors in this society. Even the most ardent gun rights supporter doesn’t support giving guns to schizophrenics, and that applies even more to nukes.

          1. Yep, many world leaders have aspirations of armageddon. That’s how they got to be world leaders.

            Easiest way to scare people into doing one’s evil bidding is to tell them their adversaries are crazy.

            Un is about as nuts as they come and he’s not laying waste to the south.

          2. No we don’t. OTOH, we do realize that the efforts to *keep those guns from schizophrenics* tend to have far worse consequences.

            There’s a difference between ‘not giving’ and ‘keeping away’.

          3. “You’re assuming rational actors in this society. Even the most ardent gun rights supporter doesn’t support giving guns to schizophrenics, and that applies even more to nukes.”

            You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. There are people that recognise that nobody has the wisdom or authority to nullify another person’s free agency. It doesn’t matter if a person is stupid or crasy or a jerk, or whatever–he’s a man for all that, and that’s where his liberties emerge out of, not out of other people approving of how he lives his fucking life or whether he’s a madman or a witch or an atheist. At the same time, everyone is responsible for his actions, no matter how stupid or weird he is. When you say “giving guns”, of course, I assume you mean “allowing to own guns”, since the literal meaning seemed too weird, so maybe my response is way off. Thing is, there is no legitimate basis for some people to beat or imprison or kill someone for simply owning an inanimate object. All laws that punish the ownership of a specific class of possession outrage the soul. Anyone who says otherwise is a brute and a queerbait. These are facts.

            1. Note that property is one of the chiefest faculties of moral agency. It’s not just a freedom but a power. It can be stultified, foreshortened, stunted to almost nothing, but it can never be eradicated. Nor is it possible for anyone to live without exercising that power to some extent. This is why when folks start talking about fucking “needs”, I always insist that luxury goods and sacramentals (or their equivalent, religious icons, holy fetishes, whatever; heck, I keep a plaster Grieg’s head and a papi?re m?ch? stag, and my wife’s got her fucking redeared milkrabbit there–Jesus gonna be here soon) whatever be fit somewhere near the top of the list. And “need” can not command service and legitimise the enslavery of free men. And fuck China also.

    4. Oh sure, now we can certainly take our troops out.

      But Korea is perhaps the poster child for interventionism. If not for us, all of Korea would be like North Korea. Not just the War itself, but keeping troops there until they became a 1st world country, or close enough to one to count.

      Granted, it took a very specific set of circumstances for it to work, but it’s hard to argue that it didn’t.

      1. Our troops certainly didn’t make SK a first world country.

        1. Or Japan or Germany. Although Krugman would say all the broken windows worked out well for both.

          1. If only Truman had bombed the bridges.

  16. Damn, Hoyer is a fucking turnover machine.

    1. As a Browns fan I am banned for commenting on the NFL playoffs.

      1. Being a Browns fan is probably harder than having AIDS.

        1. It’s a great excuse to drink beer,so,I got that going for me.

          1. Which is nice.

          2. You get to drink more beer if you have AIDS?

            1. Being a Browns fan you have to drink more beer.Luckily the Buckeyes have been doing quite well,thank you

              1. I’m still so fucking disappointed with this past season. Leaving Beck in charge of play calling past the Indiana game was a fucking travesty. Now we’re gonna lose 12 starters to the draft.

                Just a shame.

                1. They’ll reload. Hopefully,now that Barret’s set at QB you’ll see some better O play.They have the shill players.

                  1. Let’s hope so. I think they might be so bad next year they lose two games.

                    We’ll know after week 2 and Oklahoma if they’re gonna be ok.

                    Sorry Hyperbole. Sounds like you might want to rethink your life.

                    1. Sorry Hyperbole. Sounds like you might want to rethink your life.


                    2. Not the meth part. The being a Brown fan part.

              2. Try being a Browns fan who doesn’t give a rat’s fuck about the Buckeyes. I’ve had to quit beer and move on to meth.

                1. There’s always hemlock spiked wine.

            2. Alcohol kills germs, so it makes sense for immune-compromised persons to maintain a high BAC.

              1. How many fucking handles are you going to burn through today, Tulpa?

                1. I have no idea what you’re talking about.

    2. The situation is only worsened by the fact that Weeden is the worst backup in America other than Joe Biden.

      1. This might be the worst played playoff game I’ve seen since the Tebow win vs Pittsburgh.

  17. I almost forgot it was Troll Appreciation Saturday.

    Circumcisions are in for summer!

    “South Africans have traditionally believed that male medical circumcisions (MMCs) should be done in winter. “This shouldn’t be the case,” said Dr Khumbulani Moyo, medical male circumcision general manager of Right to Care. “We find long queues during the winter months and our clinics are virtually empty during the summer months.

    “”Circumcisions during the holiday season offer a perfect time as people take time off from work. Even those that are working, we suggest circumcisions on a Friday so they can recuperate on the weekend and be back at work on Monday.””

    1. Why not get them right after birth like a civilized person?

      1. You answered your own question.

      2. Indeed, that would be circumspect.

        1. I,wonder why this sub thread was cut short.

          1. Nipped in the bud as it were.

  18. Cameron Esposito is appealing to the market for scowling lesbian feminist comedians.

    She gets in her digs at deep dish pizza:

    “Deep-dish pizza is garbage. I don’t stand by it. I like Chicago-style thin-crust pizza that is square-cut?shout-out to D’Agostino’s. And furthermore, burritos are delicious….

    “…I hike every day, and my tiny dog goes with me. He weighs seven pounds, which is the same amount as one slice of Chicago-style deep-dish pizza.”

    1. Isn’t the thin crust, square cut pizza actually from St. Louis?

      1. I remember Cassano’s Pizza in the Cincinatti area cutting it into squares unless you specified slices. I think it’s a Midwestern thing in general. No idea who invented it, but they were a fucking genius.

        1. Chicago cut pizza

          1. We never called it anything special. It’s what we were used to. Do people actually call it “Chicago cut”?

      2. Saint Louis pizza is often made with this petroleum-like substance called “provel cheese”, though.

        1. It’s made from No.2 fuel oil, and powdered milk…

    2. Deep dish is a Chicago curse,just like the Cubs and they fail to realize it.Kinda like the Scotts and the bag pipes and haggis

      1. At least the Cubs are a blessing to the teams they play against.

        1. Just like the Browns.

          1. The Cubs might win the central this year.

            1. And then break their fans hearts,just like the 1980’s Browns.

    3. A lesbian who loves denim, buzzcuts, and has a wife named “Butch”? How nouveau

      “”You really love burritos, right? “”

      Ugh, patriarchy.

      1. I bet she really likes Hot Pockets, if you know what I mean.

        1. Go on

  19. A museum in Belfast (N. Ireland) hosts an exhibit: a carriage that used to belong to Father Arthur Michael McGinnis.

    This priest was assigned to minister to Catholics in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania in 1861.

    Then, a couple years later…

    1. SPIT IT OUT, man! I haven’t got time for clicking on a link!

      1. Did something happen at Gettysburg in the 1860s?

        1. There are addresses everywhere, it’s how Amazon Prime works. Duh.

    2. Hitler? It’s always Hitler.

  20. Called up for jury duty next week: children’s court. Not sure what to think of that.

    1. Well,children are the future,that’s why you need to stop them now.

    2. Get pics for OMWC!

    3. I’d never tamper with a juror, so I’ll just say, do justice!

      1. I don’t mind a little tampering now and again.

  21. The question is delivery and will they fire them.

    That’s comforting.

    *returns to beverage*

  22. KJU watches a North Korean submarine missile launch.

    Say what you will about Dear Leader, he has good taste in hats.


    He won’t let government officials tell him what weapons he can have, he won’t let them tell him how to treat his employees (some call them citizens, but…y’know tomato/tomahto,) and he won’t let them take his property (North Korea, which he inherited from his father.) How can you not fucking love this guy?

  24. The pursuit of nukes strikes me as very similar to the philosophy that drove the student and real estate loan forcing. In those, the idea was that “middle class people have college educations and homes, so if we force those to be easier to get, we’ll have more middle class!” This was done either not realizing or purposely ignoring that those things came from certain BEHAVIORS.

    Similarly, the idea of the nuke-seekers is that if they have the WEAPONS of Great Powers, they will BE Great Powers. Meanwhile, everyone around is trying desperately to get the chimpanzee to put the .45 down before he hurts someone.

    Kim is a chimpanzee with a gun; dangerous to everyone and everything nearby.

  25. I lived in in Korea for a few years and came to realize that most of my Korean friends really don’t want reunification. Sure, they all talk about wanting it publicly but they are scared shitless of ending up with massive debt and millions of people who can’t function.

    I also came to believe that we should pull all troops out of there. The only real effect at this point is giving a reason for Koreans to hate Americans.

  26. I lived in in Korea for a few years and came to realize that most of my Korean friends really don’t want reunification. Sure, they all talk about wanting it publicly but they are scared shitless of ending up with massive debt and millions of people who can’t function.

    I also came to believe that we should pull all troops out of there. The only real effect at this point is giving a reason for Koreans to hate Americans.

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