Armed Protesters Occupy Wildlife Refuge Outpost in Oregon, Free State Project Hits 90 Percent of Goal, ISIS Threatens U.K. in Latest Execution Video: A.M. Links


  • ISIS

    Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio says he wants a constitutional convention, for an amendment on Congressional term limits.

  • A group of armed protesters in Oregon occupied a federal outpost in a wildlife refuge after a demonstration against an arson sentence for two ranchers and federal mismanagement of land in the area was held in a town about 50 miles away.
  • The Free State Project in New Hampshire has reached 90 percent of its goal of 20,000 pledges, which will trigger a mass move to the state.
  • ISIS threatened the United Kingdom in a new execution video the terrorist group released.
  • Saudi Arabia officially severed ties with Iran, prompted by an attack on the Saudi embassy in Tehran that followed the execution of an Iranian cleric by the Saudi government.
  • A magnitude-6.7 earthquake in India killed at least four people.

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  1. A group of armed protesters in Oregon occupied a federal outpost in a wildlife refuge…

    And don’t you feel terrorized?

    1. Hello.

      “Saudi Arabia officially severed ties with Iran, prompted by an attack on the Saudi embassy in Tehran that followed the execution of an Iranian cleric by the Saudi government.”

      Obama: Well, this is awkward.

      1. Did the Saudis ship the severed heads to the Iranians?

        1. Who do you think they are? Vlad the Impaler?

          1. I think you just found the solution to the migrant crisis!

            Hey, Vlad, wakey, wakey, you have work to do.

            1. He will arise once the sun is down…

      2. Maybe the protestors in Oregon should start complaining about Saudi Arabia executing the Iranian cleric. How can the government justify cracking down on people complaining about the government cracking down on people complaining about the government? If you have an armed mob attacking a government building and threatening violence in protest against actions that government has taken should you condemn or support that principle of protest?

        (Note: Maybe it’s still too early in the news cycle for me to find the bull ordaining the official prog position, but I’m assuming since the US government is generally friendly toward the Saudis and hostile to the Iranians the prog philosophy dictates they take the side of the Iranians just as much as they condemn the Oregon protestors.)

    2. Well, the federal courthouse is just down the hill from my office…

      Fun fact – it has the most evil looking eagle on it I’ve ever seen – even before you factor in the anti-pigeon spikes.

      1. You know who else had a evil eagle on his building?

        1. Pat Shurmer?

        2. Don Henley? Oh… you said _on_…

        3. Chip Kelly?

          1. Bah. Everything there attacks something or another.

  2. …for an amendment on Congressional term limits.

    He’ll be singing a different tune when he’s not chosen by primary voters the establishment this year.

    1. He thinks every Senator should stop serving before they finish their first term.

  3. You left out “Chinese Stock Market Crashes”

    1. So,what does it sound like when China crashes?

  4. …which will trigger a mass move to the state.

    Tanking property values.

    1. Meh. With Bernie as POTUS that’ll be a non-problem.

  5. Poll: Whites and Republicans are the angriest people in America

    Often, 2015 felt like the year of outrage. The reasons for this were large and small ? from police brutality to all manners of microaggressions, from terrorism to the color of a coffee cup. Americans of every race, economic background and political leaning seemed to share a common gift: the ability to get angry.

    These fiery sentiments were measured by NBC, Survey Monkey and Esquire over the course of four days in November, in an online poll of 3,257 American adults aptly called the “American Rage Survey.”

    Now the results are in, and they reveal a landscape of national anger as layered as the population itself. Americans are angry about a lot of things, apparently, and sometimes even about the same things.


      1. Survey Monkey


    2. Well, if whites and republicans are so angry, WE SHOULD PROBABLY ABRIDGE THEIR FIRST AMENDMENT RIGHTS, amirite?

      That’s the argument, isn’t it?

      1. “Hate speech” isn’t protected by the first amendment, and WE get to decide what’s “hate speech”!!11!!!!

      2. And confiscate their guns, too. Angry people shouldn’t have guns!

    3. But do they distinguish between righteous indignation and moronic rage?

      1. That’s easy. Figure out the political opinions of the angry person, and you know whether it’s righteous or they’re just being stupid and need to shut up.

    4. Poll: Whites and Republicans are the angriest people in America

      Whites and Republicans have generally been getting shafted the last few years, so yeah.

      1. When the GOP gets elected to a majority in both houses to thwart the Democrat policy proposals and then proceeds to goatse open their butthole whenever a Democrat official tells them to, Republicans can be said to have gotten shafted.

        When a culture war is waged against fairy tales of white privilege and is consuming immeasurable time and resources and when police brutality is quite successfully disguised “racist white people brutality”, I think it’s fair to say that white people have taken the shaft.

        Now this is where you call me a stupid yokel.

        1. 1) Republican politicians have ‘compromised’ on some issues, usually the same ones that were uncontroversial when an R was in the White House. Republicans support spending and cronyism? No way! It’s not as if they gave up on gun control or minimum wage laws. And Democrats complain about the same thing, so why aren’t they as angry?

          2) I wouldn’t call that taking the shaft. There are two sides to a culture war, those on the receiving end of police brutality have it a lot worse (don’t you think?), and who cares about how some frame the issue? I’m not “shafted” when someone calls me a bad name. This is the kind of complaint that makes such people look like whiners.

          1. Republican politicians have ‘compromised’ on some issues

            You must have missed the most recent omnibus Give Democrats Everything They Want Act, or GDETWA. It’s more properly classified as a “capitulation”.

            There are two sides to a culture war, those on the receiving end of police brutality have it a lot worse (don’t you think?)

            Everyone is on the receiving end of police brutality! Don’t start blacklivesmattering here.

            I’m not “shafted” when someone calls me a bad name

            It’s a shafting when children are taught about white privilege in school and millions of people buy the narrative to the point where the popular views of history is revised in favor of the ‘evil white people’ hypothesis. All of society is shafted by this to be correct, but whites just happen to be the specific target.


    6. Americans are angry ? sometimes even about the same things.

      The ridiculousness of polls, for instance?

    7. I can only imagine the biased questions they used to arrive at that predetermined result.

      1. “Do you value limited government or do you think children should be well nourished and educated?” (30 more questions like that) “Are you angry?”

        1. “Well I am now!”

  6. ISIS threatened the United Kingdom in a new execution video the terrorist group released.

    The UK has nothing to fear. It’s a gun free zone.

    1. …except that ISIS beheads with bladed weapons.


        1. Beheading with a rusty salad fork is possible, just a little less tidy

        2. You laugh but they already have…


          ITS TRUE!!!

      2. The UK also has commonsense knife regulation.

  7. Democrats unsure Hillary Clinton can beat Donald Trump in general election

    “We’re going to start to have to look at how the [Democratic] candidates play against Donald Trump, because he’s certainly holding onto his lead in the Republican Party, and he has certainly played the Republican candidates in a way that has hurt some of his opposition, and I think people are going to start asking, ‘All right, who’s going to stand up under his type of campaigning?'” Mr. Allen said. “If Bernie [Sanders] is the candidate, Trump will play up how un-American socialism is, and if Hillary gets it, he will dig up everything in the past 40 years and use it ? and won’t mince words in using it.”

    Other activists say there’s a sense that, while it’s Mrs. Clinton’s turn to run, there’s no swell of on-the-ground enthusiasm for her to carry the party’s banner into the general election.

    1. She needs to commit another crime.

      It seems to work for her just like Trump goes up in the polls each time he says something retarded.

      1. She and Bill need to release a ‘sex’ video.

        Not necessarily together.

        1. Hillary gets hummed by Huma.
          Bill schlongs a bevy of interns.
          Hillary humps Trump.
          Bill puts the screw to Fiorina.
          Hillary gets randy with Rand.(sorry Rand)
          Bill & Ted’s Excellent Assventure.(sorry Ted)
          Debbie Wasserman Schultz does Hillary.

    2. “Turn to run”

      That is GOP level of stupidity.

      1. Are the Dems going to concede an election because they want to confer a lifetime achievement award like the Republicans did when the nominated Dole and McCain?

        I can’t believe they’re that stupid. I think they play to win. However, Hillary represents a well-funded and powerful wing of the Democrat establishment, and I doubt anything could persuade her not to run.

  8. PANTS-SHITTING over THIRD hand smoke

    Researchers found the so-called third-hand smoke is a serious threat to health – especially in young children and those with underlying health conditions.
    They discovered the harmful residue of cigarette smoke can be absorbed into virtually any porous surface, making it difficult to eradicate it from the home.
    It means people can be exposed to dangerous chemicals caused by smoking, even if they have never smoked themselves.

    Environmental chemist Dr Eunha Hoh, who took part in the study, said: ‘Cigarette smoke is known to contain thousands of chemicals, and these chemicals get deposited onto surfaces.
    ‘A great many of them are known to be toxic and carcinogenic. The levels of these chemicals may be quite low in third-hand smoke residue, but they are dangerous when you have chronic exposure.’

    1. Are people eating the walls and furniture? No. Then how are these “chemicals” getting into their bodies?

      1. Are people eating the walls and furniture?

        Well, the paint chips…

        1. Only the children, which as a libertarian I don’t care about.

          1. I’m a bleeding heart libertarian. I feed them ranch flavored paint chips.

        2. You mean “wall candy”?

      2. Chemicals! Thousands of chemicals! Children! Grants and funding!!! Don’t you get it!?

        1. Yep. Always be suspicious when scientists speak in general terms rather than providing exact figures.

      3. Through their skin, I guess.

        This all seems rather backwards. Shouldn’t you first demonstrate that a harm is caused by a thing before you start investigating how it might cause said harm?

        1. That won’t get you any grants now, will it?

        2. And how would they get their names in the news,huh?

        3. Who is living in these houses? Some sort of amphibian man with semi-permeable skin? If so they should be studying the amphibian man and stop wasting time on the ghost of smokers past.

          1. /Convoy of black Yukons shows up outside of Florida Man’s house…

            1. Somebody’s knocking at the door. I wonder who it could be…

            2. Well, he DOES have the Innsmouth look…

            3. Jokes on them, Amphibian Man is Florida Man’s neighbor.

    2. People keep original carpeting and drapes in homes they buy?

      1. Carpeting, maybe, depending on condition, but the window dressings are usually gone.

    3. “Researchers found the so-called third-hand smoke is a serious threat to health”

      No, they did not.

      1. Yes they did, and they need more money.

      2. Oh, very well.

        “Researchers found the so-called third-hand smoke is a so-called serious threat to health”

    4. You know what else is full of thousands of chemicals?

      Almost everything!

  9. Willy do it? Man with bionic penis to finally lose his virginity at 43

    Mohammed Abad will pop his cherry in the next few days with sex worker Charlotte Rose after a dinner date.

    Mo, who lost his penis when he was six in a car accident, said: “I have waited long enough for this ? it’ll be a great start to the new year. My penis is working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I’m really excited. I can’t wait for it to finally happen.”

    Mo first had surgery to fit the eight-inch bionic penis in 2012, but it has only been fully functional for a few months.

    It has two tubes running along its length which inflate when he presses a button on his testicle.

    Charlotte, 35, will not be charging Mo when they meet up in London.

    SugarFree’s writing becomes reality.

    1. Please. This is nowhere near as nightmare-inducing as SugarFree’s writing.

      1. To properly activate SF, you need to push a button on his prostate.

        1. [sump pump noise]

        2. Not his pancreas?

          1. If you touch his pancreas, he will die.

    2. Without any nerve endings, what’s the point?

      1. I have never had sex with a woman, but is there not the satisfaction of “getting the partner off”?

        1. No,that’s what jewelry is for.

        2. I somehow doubt that a dickless virgin with an implanted dildo will manage to get a professional ‘off’

          1. A talented professional can masturbate using someone else’s body without them ever knowing they’ve been ‘managed’. Trust, if she accepted the appointment, she has a plan.

            1. meh, they said the Cylons had a plan. They didn’t.

              Of course, they did seem to enjoy getting off.

    3. Why do people make these things public? If I had a bionic penis I would boink a few chicks with loose lips and let the legend build. I mean eight inches is nothing to scoff at but the way this article is written it makes the bionic dildonic seem pathetic.

      1. Bionic Dildonic /nice band name.

        1. Screw the band, that’s my next child’s name! Asked it works for a boy or girl!

    4. SugarFree’s writing becomes reality.

      Only if Mo is simultaneously fisting Ted Cruz.

      Hurrah for pro bono prostitution!

    5. Charlotte Rose? Not fooling me. That’s Charlie.

    6. Once it is weaponized, you’ll all have one.

      1. I notice you do not mention WHERE we will have it.

        1. I leave that to the boys in Marketing.

    7. If there is ever a reliable way to enhance penis size, you can count on basically every dude in the world at least showing up for a consult. National healthcare systems will struggle under the surge of demand. Male competitiveness combined with free penis enhancement surgery will result in Weimer-style dick size inflation. Then society will collapse in bankruptcy and we can all cruise around our Somalian paradise in pickups, waving our jumbo schlongs at foreigners.

      1. You know, you just gave SF the ammo he needs for a full length novel…

        1. Naw, even he’s susceptable to the latent toxicity in what dreck he puts out. Exposure to that much would kill him.

        2. Full Length


      2. A NuPenis with be worth a wheelbarrow full of pre-enhancile money.

      3. And those of us with unremarkable peckers shall be the novelty that women seek out!

        1. “Wow, I can barely feel it!”

    8. It has two tubes running along its length which inflate when he presses a button on his testicle.

      Oh dear God

      1. I am Scrocutus, a Dong. Your sex life, as you know it, is over. From now on, you will service, US.

        1. It ends here! This long, and no longer!

  10. …prompted by an attack on the Saudi embassy in Tehran that followed the execution of an Iranian cleric by the Saudi government.

    The cleric’s name? Ef al-Ferdinand.

  11. Rape culture:

    A teenage boy has reportedly been thrown off a roof by ISIS militants in Syria after he was accused of being homosexual, but the Islamist who raped him was spared a death sentence.

    1. Interesting, the rapist is actually getting punished too. He’s been flogged and sentenced to fight on the front lines in Iraq. I guess it’s bad publicity inside the ranks to have commanders that will rape potential soldiers.

      1. That’s how they make boys into men, unofficially that is.

    2. If he wasn’t homosexual he couldn’t have been raped. Straight men’s bodies have a way of shutting that down.

      1. Only in cases of “legitimate rape”, dontchakno?

    3. Damn, I gotta convert. Rape someone – woman, man,it don’t matter – and then punish THEM for having the temerity to be raped by you. FUCKING WIN – WIN!!!

  12. which will trigger a mass move to the state.

    Oh yeah, and what enforcement mechanism do they have? I was an angsty teenager when I signed up and didn’t know anything about living in snow-free climates. Also trigger is a trigger word.

    1. No enforcement mechanism, of course. They simply trust that people will live up to their promises.

      Of course they realize that not everyone who pledged will follow through. But even a few thousand could make a difference.

  13. Saudis and Gulf Allies Confront Iran in Worst Clash Since 1980s

    The clash exposes again the fault lines in the tinderbox region and risks worsening conflicts in Yemen and Syria, where Sunni-dominated Saudi Arabia and Shiite Iran are fighting proxy wars. The widening of the rift follows Saudi criticism of the U.S.-led deal last year over Iran’s nuclear program, a rapprochement that the Tehran leadership is counting on to boost its economy.

    “Iran is now basically isolated regionally,” Ghanem Nuseibeh, founder of London-based consulting firm Cornerstone Global Associates, said from Dubai. “It will be the main party to suffer from this isolation. They were hoping to reintegrate themselves into the wider world with the nuclear deal and now they’ve actually done quite the opposite.”

    1. I’m convinced Obama is a shitty chess player.

      1. He’s playing multi-dimensional chess in multiple parallel universes, so mere mortals wouldn’t understand his actual brilliance.

        1. It only LOOKS like he’s playing Whac-a-mole next to an untouched chess set.

          1. No, there’s definitely a turd stewing on the board. He won the game!

      2. You aren’t thinking in three dimensions man.

    2. and risks worsening conflicts in Yemen and Syria


    3. What about the joooes? I’m sure a writer here will tell us how their involved. Any guesses who?

      1. Hitler?

  14. Idaho man makes calendar showcasing back hair art

    Tired of being ashamed of his back hair, Mike Wolfe, 35, decided to team up with his friend and former graphic designer Tyler Harding to turn his body hair into art by creating a “Calendhair”. The calendar features 12 photos of Wolfe sporting different back hair designs, each themed to match their respective month.

    The story of Wolfe’s back hair exhibition began in 1998 when he was a high schooler in Oregon and noticed hair appearing on his shoulders.

    “It was wrestling season and I had just noticed some interesting sprouts coming from my shoulders,” the about section of the Calendhair reads. “I proceeded to do a full examination of my back and saw that I was becoming one of those guys that everyone makes fun of…I was growing back hair!”

      1. I actually had a look at his website and as hard as it is to believe; Yes, Mr Wolfe is indeed one fat hairy bastard.

        One with a sense of humor.

        1. fat hairy bastard

          Ok, which one of you regulars is Mike Wolfe?

    1. I first read that headline as “Black hair art”, which put me in the mind of afro-topiaries. That would have been a much more interesting exhibit.

    2. Mr Wolfe is himself a married man with children but we all know who will be the prime audience for this “calendhair” (besides those buying it for a gag); Bears.

      How overweight and hairy guys transcended not only self acceptance but onwards to objects of erotic fetishization says something about gays in the 21st century. Whats it says I have no idea.

      1. That human desire is infinitely variable? That there’s someone for everyone?

        1. “Please wax me”.

      2. #backweavesmatter

  15. In another thread last night, I talked about an American friend of mine (a doctor) who runs a successful business across the continent. I invested in a company with him in Florida and he gives me bi-monthly updates regarding the progress. A couple of days ago he was telling me what he has learned over the years about California. I was blown away. I have no idea how that places continues to function. He told me we’re ‘pussies’ compared to what the commies in California are like. His original plan was to move to San Diego but he has since decided against it. ‘Too bat shit insane and anti-business’ he said.

    1. Nuh-UH

      “Does this mean California is business-friendly? Of course not,” said Christopher Thornberg, founding partner of Beacon Economics, who helped prepare the study. “It means that being ‘business friendly’ is not the be-all and end-all of economic development.”

      Moreover, research has shown that “business climate” rankings ? which typically look at a state’s corporate taxes and regulatory environment ? have less to do with overall economic performance than factors such as favorable weather, geography or being home to a diverse mix of industries.

      1. I know. I’ve read these reports. That was just his take and last night Sevo imparted his.

        Maybe people do choose those other factors above all else. There are, after all, less business people, right?

      2. I think that’s called “whistling past the graveyard”.

      3. “At least there’s the nice weather!”

        1. I hear variations of this in the Canadian context.

          ‘Yeh Toronto has money and is growing and has everything but Montreal has…culture…(and ever threats of separation)!’


          1. With the Internet, I can have the type and quantity of culture I want on my schedule, and I don’t have to deal with the smug, useless assholes who infest “cultural” meatspace locations.

            I’ll take the money.

            1. With the Internet, I can have the type and quantity of culture I want

              That’s a strange euphemism for pornography.

              1. A: There are non-porn sites on the internet.

                B: In what way is pornography not a cultural product?

                1. A: [citation needed]

                  B: Goddammit, i’m trying to snark here, not have a debate about what does and does not constitute ‘culture.’

                  1. A: I was goint to cite reason, but they let SugarFree post his opii here.

                    B: Boojum.

                    1. The culture you want is the Reason hit and run culture? Whoa…

                    2. The culture you want is the Reason hit and run culture? Whoa…

                      Some men just want to see the world touch themselves.

                    3. The culture you want is the Reason hit and run culture?

                      No, but he wanted a citation for a non-porn site on the internet.

                    4. Yeah, i thought he was referring to definition 4 or 5, not definition 6.

                    5. (waves hand mystically) These are not the cultures you are looking for

      4. Diversity? I believe it’s an old old wooden ship.

      5. Texas GDP increased from 600 $B/year to 1,650 $B/year over the 1997-2014 period.

        California GDP increased from1,350 $B/year to 2,100 $B/year over the same period.

        Both in constant 2009 $. (Fun fact: 1997 was first year that CA GDP broke the trillion mark in nominal dollars.)

        Texas growth rate = 6.1% per year

        California growth rate = 2.6% per year.

        Over the same period, Texas population increased by about 2% per year while California population increased by a little less than 1% per year.

        But, whatever …

  16. Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio says he wants a constitutional convention…

    We could call it an Estates-General and then you’ll be seeing some shit get severed.

  17. GM is investing $500 million in Lyft to help the Uber competitor create self-driving cars

    General Motors, one of the world’s largest car manufacturers, and Lyft, one of the world biggest ride-sharing companies, are teaming up to develop driverless cars. It’s a significant partnership, one that could change fundamentally change the way we get around, as well as lift the fortunes of two companies that seem to operate in the shadows of their competitors.

    GM and Lyft announced the joint venture on Monday, which also includes a $500 million investment by GM in Lyft. The San Francisco-based ride-sharing company, once known for the fuzzy pink mustaches affixed to the front of its vehicles, has also just completed a $1 billion round of financing, bringing its post-money value up to $5.5 billion. While this is a huge sum of money, it is still a fraction of Uber’s eye-popping $62.5 billion value.

    1. Given Government Motors’ track record on engineering in the past few decades… I’d never ride in one of their vehicles, self-driving or human controlled, and would worry about letting their self-driving cars on the road with real people.

      1. Part of the benefits GM enjoyed in their bankruptcy was the shedding of non core businesses.

        Here they go again. It’s like they just can’t hep themselves even those aren’t the same decision makers.

        GM needs to focus on making a better car.

      2. I’d never buy a GM product … I don’t deal in stolen goods.

        /Former GM bond owner

    2. Sounds like an interesting hook up.

      I don’t follow the Uber thing enough on the legal side. On liberal sites all I read is how Uber/Lyft is breaking laws left, right and center and need to be put out of business. Which sounds retarded in of itself but that’s par for the course in progland but what exactly is the problem? The fact they use drivers as contract workers? I know they’re probably running afoul with laws that benefit monopolies but isn’t that a good thing and hopefully leads to changes in antiquated labor laws regulating taxi services?

        1. ‘Capping’ surge pricing will just lead to unintended consequences. If surge pricing is indeed tied to supply and demand, then any tinkering with it is bound to skew pricing. For example, Uber will just limit their services to boundaries that will be profitable up to the point the cap kicks in. It’s a stupid idea for stupid people.

        2. Australian society is built on the principle of protecting consumers from making disastrous choices against their own self-interest, even when they choose to.

          Assuming that’s even true, that sure is a strange principle to base your society on. “Come to Australia, where personal choice is a meaningless concept!”

          1. Actually, when you remember that Australia started as a penal colony, it sort of makes sense.

      1. You’re on point. I met a guy the other day who drives Lyft on weekends to make his car loan payments as a second job. Lots of people do it as a secondary source of income effectively castrating the taxi cartel. The only laws being broken are dumb and the only defense is a hollow shrill cry of “public safety”.

      2. The funny thing about liberals and Uber/Lyft is that a majority of their customers are almost certainly urban liberals.

        1. Tailor made wedge issue for one smart enough to use it…

        2. Bernie Sanders campaigns against it all the time but then uses it himself to move around.



          1. You mean his handlers book it for him. Kind of like his handlers provide him with armed protection so he doesn’t have to carry a gun.

  18. Donald Trump’s provocative first TV ad raises the temperature of GOP race

    The narrator, a deep-voiced man, speaks ominously: “That’s why he’s calling for a temporary shutdown of Muslims entering the United States, until we can figure out what’s going on. He’ll quickly cut the head off ISIS and take their oil. And he’ll stop illegal immigration by building a wall on our southern border that Mexico will pay for.”

    The spot closes with the image of Trump thundering at one of his rallies, “We will make America great again!”

    The Republican presidential candidate’s long-awaited and hotly anticipated first ad, which was shared exclusively with The Washington Post, is set to launch Monday as part of a series that will air in the final month before the Iowa caucuses. Trump has vowed to spend at least $2 million a week on the ads ? an amount that will be amplified by the countless times they are likely to be played on cable news and across social media.

    1. “an hour of recess and pizza for lunch everyday.”

      -Idlehands circa 5th grade.

      1. This made me laugh. My daughter is sixth grade on student council and she complained about having to compete against kids who were just promising pizza and recess. We had a talk about handouts in general…

        1. “Besides, who wants to eat chiminichangas for lunch every day? Not me!”

    2. And he’ll stop illegal immigration by building a wall on our southern border that Mexico will pay for.”

      I find it hilarious that he has stuck with that one.

      1. Is this actually Trump’s ad? Not only is it doubling down on his more ridiculous proposals, it looks like it’s repeating them verbatim. “Until we can figure out what’s going on”? They couldn’t rewrite that to something that sounds a bit more, y’know, decisive and tough?

      2. I think he wil make “Mexico” pay for it buy taxing the money illegals send home.

        It’s Mexico’s second largest source of income.

      3. This is by far the easiest promise to keep.

        Building a wall is not that difficult. OK, maybe in a few stretches it would be harder or not worth it, but we already have a wall in San Diego for example. (Made it interesting to watch smug Californians boycott Arizona for wanting a wall, when Cali already got theirs.)

        Making Mexico pay is really simple, too. Excise tax on all remittances, that is refundable when you file your taxes.

        Illegals don’t file taxes, so they would be paying for the wall. Oklahoma already has this tax set up, so it probably passes Nafta muster.

        I’m more curious how he plans to deal with the free trade deals or the potential trade war.

    3. “We’ll take their oil”, it’s like he’s running as a proggy caricature of GW’s second term.

      1. How so? GW never took anyone’s oil. If memory, serves the US oil companies didn’t even do that well getting Iraqi oil contracts.

        1. No, but many remain convinced that Iraq was all about getting oil.

  19. which will trigger a mass move to the state.

    all of those people who hated the idea of libertarians moving to their state will wish it was libertarians when all these chowdaheads show up.

  20. Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio says he wants a constitutional convention, for an amendment on Congressional term limits.

    Totally seems like the thing a presidential candidate should be spending his limited time talking about.

  21. Twitter caves in to the medieval cult known as Islam and starts enforcing speech codes.

    1. Starts, he says.

    2. Not sure how you managed to tie that to Islam. It’s not as if no one ever had a “don’t be mean” rule before Muslims started beheading people on the internet. Censorship has a fine, long tradition in many cultures.

  22. CNN to host Obama town hall on guns in America

    President Barack Obama is mounting a final-year push to make gun control part of his legacy despite Republican opposition and is expected to announce unilateral action early this week.

    He will join CNN’s Anderson Cooper Thursday for an exclusive one-hour live town hall on gun control at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia, in hopes of mounting a final pitch to the public.

    It’s an issue he has had zero success on so far in his presidency, despite his repeated, emotional appeals for change. Congress has remained a roadblock even in the face of widespread public support for Obama’s past calls for universal background checks or bolstered mental health support, with near uniform opposition from Republicans and a split on the issue among Democrats.


    1. I’m going to guess that he brings many armed guards with him.

    2. ‘calls for…bolstered mental health support.’

      Good idea. You first, Obama.

      1. Maybe Obama can invite Rahm to tell us about his awesome vacation in a slave-state.

    3. It’s an issue he has had zero success on so far in his presidency, despite his repeated, emotional appeals for change

      Bitter cling much?

    4. I had read a headline somewhere that the President was going to host a Town Hall with Kathy Griffin; Anderson Cooper makes slightly more sense.

      I then assume the headline writer was making a joke.

    5. “Change, as always, is going to take all of us,” Obama said in his address. “The gun lobby is loud and well organized in its defense of effortlessly available guns for anyone. The rest of us are going to have to be just as passionate and well organized in our defense of our kids. That’s the work of citizenship — to stand up and fight for the change that we seek.”

      You can’t fool *me*. That’s from The Onion.

      1. I guess “the gun lobby” isn’t part of “us.”

      2. You’re right! I could believe that a Clinton would say this, but not even Obama would so brazenly lie about the NRA. After all, the NRA was the first to advocate for a realtime background checks, for ownership bans on felons and mental incompetents, and for ending Jim Crow laws that prohibited African-Americans from owning the means of self-defense.

    6. “…widespread public support for Obama’s past calls for universal background checks or bolstered mental health support, with near uniform opposition from Republicans and a split on the issue among Democrats.”

      Something seems amiss here.

    7. It’s an issue he has had zero success on so far in his presidency, despite his repeated, emotional appeals for change.


  23. Trump challenges Hillary to ‘disarm’ bodyguards

    The Republican presidential front-runner took to Twitter to dare Clinton to put her money where her mouth is.

    “Hillary said that guns don’t keep you safe,” Trumped tweeted Sunday. “If she really believes that, she should demand that her heavily armed bodyguards quickly disarm!”

    Clinton has a strong record of gun control. In October, she proposed a series of executive orders aimed at reducing gun violence, which prompted President Obama to issue his own gun control plan.

    1. After reading Mr Free’s works, I don’t want to think where her mouth is.

      1. I doubt she is limber enough to put her mouth where her money is.

        1. Her exoskeleton does limit her flexibility, but some of her oral palps can probably reach.

          1. The cloaca extends as well.

    2. Okay, Trump deserves major props on this one.

      1. Counter point: it’s not the guns that make her safe, it’s being in a gang. Legalize gangs!

    3. If they’re Hillary’s body guards, you’ll have to pry them out of their mouths.

    4. She says that guns don’t keep “you” safe. Not that guns don’t keep her safe. It’s not that hard of a distinction to grasp.

    5. Damnit, I don’t want to like anything that the Turnip has said, but I like that.

  24. A group of armed protesters in Oregon occupied a federal outpost

    Can we create a new work like “Occurist”? Something that signals to both the “terrorist” and “occupy” -using groups that you’re with them?

    1. You’ll need a word that signals you’re on the proper Team. We only like protesting when the people are on the right Team.

    2. If you want to signal you’re agin’ ’em, how about trespassist?

  25. NASA confirms that the ‘impossible’ EmDrive thruster really works, after new tests

    Flying in the face of traditional laws of physics, the EmDrive makes use of a magnetron and microwaves to create a propellant-less propulsion system. By pushing microwaves into a closed, truncated cone and back towards the small end of said cone, the drive creates the momentum and force necessary to propel a craft forward. Because the system is a reaction-less drive, it goes against humankind’s fundamental comprehension of physics, hence its controversial nature.

    You know who else flew in the face of traditional laws of physics?

    1. Willy Wonka?

      1. “The Wonkavator can go sideways, and slantways, and longways, and backways…”

      1. I vote this one.

    2. Iron Man?

      1. He said “flew” not “ejaculated.”

        1. Warty’s…emissions…are that powerful.

    3. So smart people, do the laws of physics need updating or are the scientist missing something?

      1. I don’t know!

        I can’t come up with why it should register any thrust at all given the device as described.

      2. Since I am not a smart person, I can only play the odds and guess the scientists and not the science are wrong.

        There is a third option, however: The scientists are not wrong but the media is mistaken in hyping this as something that violates the laws of physics. A sufficiently advanced technology being indistinguishable from magic and all that – especially given that, to the average news reporter, “sufficiently advanced technology” includes just about anything more complicated than a fork. How the hell would they know if something violates the laws of physics?

        1. Although if this works, I hope they get right to work developing a small version you can slip on your feet and then everybody really will be able to lift themselves up by their own bootstraps.

    4. Montgomery “Scotty” Scott?

    5. Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?

    6. Dr Who?

    7. Bumblebees, allegedly?

      1. My dogs?

        Because they are short and thick (16″ at the shoulder, 50 pounds), and you’d never think they could jump, but they can positively levitate. True story: There is a five foot wall around their yard. The male ninjaed his way out once.

    8. a hockey stick?

  26. Children aged five eating own weight in sugar each year

    The average five-year-old consumes the equivalent of their body weight in sugar in the course of a year, health officials have warned.

    Parents are being urged to take control of their children’s habits, as the Government prepares to publish its strategy on child obesity, amid calls to introduce a tax on sugary drinks and foods.

    The new campaign by Public Health England (PHE) warns that five-year-olds should only be consuming the equivalent of five sugar cubes a day.

    On average, child are having three times their recommended maximum daily intake, which rises to six cubes for six to ten-year-olds, and seven cubes for anyone of the age of 11.

    1. Not an issue until their permanent teeth come in and/or they don’t get to run around screeching to their hearts desire.

    2. 40 pounds average weight at 5 years old works out to 1.75 ounces a day, or around four tablespoons.

      1. When I was that age, that’s probably how much I put on a bowl of Cheerios or Corn Flakes in the AM.

  27. an amendment on Congressional term limits

    Stop it Reason. You’re making me all hopey and dreamy again.

    1. It’s a trap!


    2. Yes, because congressional term limits would have no unexpected side effects, like handing even more control to unelected bureaucrats.

  28. You know who else had their country go into the worst recession since 1901…

    Brazil Heads for Worst Recession Since 1901, Economists Forecast

    Brazil’s economy will contract more than previously forecast and is heading for the deepest recession since at least 1901 as economic activity and confidence sink amid a political crisis, a survey of analysts showed.

    Latin America’s largest economy will shrink 2.95 percent this year, according to the weekly central bank poll of about 100 economists, versus a prior estimate of a 2.81 percent contraction. Analysts lowered their 2016 growth forecast for 13 straight weeks and estimate the economy contracted 3.71 percent last year.

    1. Well it’s a good thing the 2016 Summer Olympics will pull them out of this slump!

      1. Ah yes, with the shit river regatta…

    2. wat? No Brazilian wax jokes? #ashamedofthereasoncommentariat

      1. #baldsnatchmatters

      2. That’s because their economy is waning, not waxing.

  29. Obama reshapes presidential politics — but maybe not to Democrats’ benefit

    The course of the contests for both the Republican and Democratic nominations would be inconceivable absent the course of the Obama presidency.

    This is most apparent in the phenomenon that goes by the name of Donald Trump. Trump’s gratuitous insults of rivals reflect the coarseness of Obama’s nonstop insults of Republicans and anyone who does not share his views and priorities. Despite his pre-presidential promises of nonpartisanship, Obama has been the most grating and vitriolic partisan president of the last 60 years.

    Trump’s more outlandish proposals ? making Mexico pay for a border wall, making common cause with Russia in Syria ? can be seen as a variation on Obama’s insistence that climate change is the nation’s number one problem and his acquiescence in, well, making common cause with Russia in Syria.

    1. I wouldn’t blame Obama. This has been building for some years. We’ve been slowly dropping the pretense that voters care if a politician is a crook, and news organizations have lost the ability to call out untruths due to their blatant bias.

    2. Well why not let Russians spend their blood and treasure in Syria? The plan of supporting moderate terrorists to fight the regime and the icky terrorists is as naive as it is stupid. What harm does Assad pose to US national security? What harm do any realistic alternatives to Assad pose to national security? It’s not fucking hard to figure out.

    3. Obama has been the most grating and vitriolic partisan president of the last 60 years.

      This goes back to 1955, then. I don’t recall Truman or Eisenhower having the reputation of being grating and vitriolic.

    1. Boldranchtastium

    2. I can’t think of any name worse than unobtanium, so we can thank James Cameron for setting the bar low.

      1. Like most things, Cameron stole that. “Unobtanium” is a term for a science fiction specific MacGuffin.

        1. These are not the elements you are looking for

    3. Wartyanalium

      1. Squatopium

      2. You stole my idea! (which was: Wartyium).

    4. naquadah?

    5. Let me know when they find another one that lasts for long enough to actually do something with.

    6. Woodchippium

    7. Element 113 was discovered by a team of Japanese scientists at the RIKEN institute.



      1. Dirtypantium

      2. Narrowgazeum?

        1. No, no! That would have to be Swiss researchers!

    8. Clitdongium

    9. Kind of annoying that they would just add any new arrangement or number of protons,electrons and neutrons together and give them a spot on the periodic table even though they’re completely unstable. If that standard of admission to the table were taken to it’s logical conclusion, then why not have elements ranging to 500 protons and beyond. Because just about any arrangement is possible, even if it can only exist in that configuration for slightly longer than a planck time scale.

      1. Shut up, you fucking yokel.

        1. That’s *stupid* fucking yokel to you.

    10. Cosmotarium

    11. Globalwarmium

  30. Of slavery and swastikas
    The University of Missouri’s efforts to placate protesters have created a backlash

    The backlash against the changes at Mizzou is likely to continue, led by self-styled defenders of the First Amendment (which protects free speech). Yet the First Amendment does not give people a free pass to go round saying hateful things, points out Mr Henson (a law professor – LH). To help students and faculty realise this, Mizzou has developed a new guide to “inclusive terminology” which ensures a healthy level of respect for all minority groups. It includes terms such as “adultism” (prejudice against the young), “minoritised” (when under-represented groups are made to feel inferior) and intersextionality (obscure). Some will see this stuff as movement in the right direction. But it is also likely to increase the ire of those who watched the protests and thought they saw a group of privileged college students complaining about how terrible their lot is.

    1. points out Mr Henson (a law professor – LH)\


    2. Oh yes it does dick head!

    3. intersextionality

      Sounds like a boring instrumental album.

    4. Yet the First Amendment does not give people a free pass to go round saying hateful things

      I suppose that is true in its way. Rather, it forbids the government from stopping people going around saying hateful things.

      1. Zeb is correct. None of the amendments in the bill of rights give anything at all. They are protections for what we all already have; inherent rights.

        Fuck Mr. Henson with rusty barbed wire.

    5. “minoritised”

      Sheesh, speak *American*!

  31. Illinois Considers Allowing Recall Attempts Of Chicago Mayor

    The furor over recent Chicago police shootings has legislators considering whether voters should be allowed to recall Mayor Rahm Emanuel or future officials who hold his post.

    Illinois state law currently addresses only the recall of a governor, a provision voters approved in 2010 after former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich was arrested and impeached. Now, state Rep. La Shawn Ford, a Chicago Democrat, wants voters to also have the power to remove the mayor of the country’s third-largest city.

    In light of the unrest in the city, Ford said, “It’s clearly the right thing to have on the books.”

    1. I’d be all for it, except for the thought of what the replacement might be. The devil you know, etc., etc…

    2. Why would the voters have a say in recalling a politician in Chicago when the voters have no say in who gets “elected” in Chicago?

  32. Newest Evidence on the Minimum Wage

    From 2006 to 2012, the average effective minimum wage rose by $1.72 across the United States. The differential change between fully and partially bound states was $0.62. Extrapolating from in-sample estimates to the full effect of the $1.72 increase comes with standard caveats, which are discussed in section 4. My baseline estimate is that this period’s minimum wage increases reduced employment among individuals ages 16 to 30 with less than a high school degree by 5.6 percentage points. This amounts to 43 percent of the decline in this group’s employment between 2006 and 2012. Further, it accounts for a 0.49 percentage point decline in the employment to population ratio across all individuals ages 16 to 64.

    1. So the supporters of more min wage will say – we just didn’t raise it enough. I’ve seen this movie before. Several times.

      1. We just need to socialism harder, then it will work!

        1. First law of liberalism – failure of liberal policies justifies MORE liberal policies!!!

    2. From the comments:

      “The “minimum wage” issue isn’t about employment or lack thereof. It’s about wedge politics and vote buying.
      For politicians, it’s compassion on the cheap. They don’t have to pay it; they benefit from the increased taxes, and they get to spout sanctimony for free.”

      He presumes cynicism; I’m not sure it isn’t stupidity. Yes, it could be both.

  33. I grabbed the wrong Speed Stick at the store. I usually get unscented. It took me a while to figure out the scent: Polo Green, from the 80s. I smell like high school and sexual desperation.

    1. I smell like high school and sexual desperation.

      Is that different than normal?

      1. The high school part is.

        1. I recently was out at the bar and a “too much cologne” guy was in the area. I realized he’d used Polo, and that’s what was making me feel so nostalgiac. My first “encounter” was with a man (OK, teenager) wearing Polo.

          1. So I need to call up some girls from high school? Hmm…

            1. Yeah, but it’ll only work if they have fond memories of high school.

              1. Yeah, but it’ll only work if they have fond memories of high school.

                So…. losers?

              2. I might score a few head cases.

          2. My first serious steady in tenth grade wore Brut. Ah, that smell takes me back.

    2. You bring up an important point. Cologne, who buys it and why? I have never in my adult life wanted to smell a man or a manly scent. Persians notwithstanding.

      1. My personal scent used to be a mixture of cool ranch Doritos, Milwaukee’s Best Ice, and an unwashed, slept-in hooded sweatshirt, which I attempted to mask with a few dollops of Axe body spray. It was not successful.

    3. My son’s school once set out a warning about the large quantity of Axe being sprayed in the halls

      1. Was it sending the girls into heat like in the commercials?

    4. I smell a new Warty Hugeman chapter…

    5. “I smell like high school and sexual desperation.”

      If that doesn’t get you laid, nothing will. Where did you buy it? (need for research)

      1. Speed Stick Champion. Because that’s what a champion smells like, apparently.

    6. My wife bought some random travel size stuff for our Honeymoon last year. The Old Spice Swagger deodorant was quickly banned. I guess I smelled like Miami football.

      1. This was the same color as the unscented. Be warned.

  34. Almost forgot. Interview with Gordilocks:…..-a-big-rig

    1. Bureaucracy shows up in almost every story.

      What’s a bad route like?
      I got really tired of crossing the border between Canada and the United States. You’re dealing with bureaucracy going over the border. You get into a lot of bottlenecks at border crossings. It’s a lot of hassle you just don’t get paid for. It’s just considered part of the job.
      There are also places where states or provinces think of trucks as rolling piggy banks. They just harass us. You don’t go to California. British Columbia is also bad, B.C. in old trucker slang meant Bring Cash. New York City is a great place to visit, a hard place to work. The Northeast corridor in the U.S. is a shitshow to be avoided for all cost, as far as I’m concerned. It gets a bit hectic, and I’ve done it, I’ve trucked New York. It’s not my first choice of a thing to do, but it’s there.

  35. ‘We do not accept money from underpants!’ Shops in small town enforce their own rules after customers insist on keeping money in ‘unsanitary’ places on their bodies

    1. I still regularly use the “bra pocket,” which I learned about from my mom. Not sure if that’s insanitary or not.

      1. I think that depends on the amount of “breast sweat” that occurs. Or so I have heard…

        1. Let me tell you of the trials and tribulations of underboob sweat.

          It’s a hard knock life.

      2. It depends on if you sweat or if you glisten. If you are hot enough to glisten, no problem.

    2. Where else am I supposed to keep my change purse, Australia?

    3. They aren’t taking treasury notes anymore?

  36. Who the fuck needs a new year anyway? Fucking sick of keeping up with this shit. When has time ever fucking been ‘new’? It’s all the same organic spiral into the desperate pining for meaning yet somehow referring to serial years as ‘new’ when they get popped from the vagina of the last one arises to joyous collective reset or sobering resurgence of dimming resolve or some such annualized cyclical bullshit. Fuck ‘new’ years. This fucking year will be exactly like the last bitch. Bursting with repetitious drivel.

    Chipping all the goddamn sameness off all the similarity of a monotone culture pregnant with sterility and the mundane blunderings of a granite humanity requires a fucking unique sort of chisel.

    1. “Bursting with repetitious drivel.”

      Mostly shat from the ass of my own goddamn mouth and fingers as well as the blurry periphery of that massive shit wall of information blaring in from all the disparate directions… Just so you bitches don’t think this bitch is fucking specifically with your grey matter musings.

  37. “Toxic chemical discovered in San Francisco’s fog”
    “The scientists said the finding reveals a new pathway to land of a compound that comes largely from burning coal and other fossil fuels.”…..734283.php

    You’ll have to go to the 4th paragraph to find this:
    “On a relative scale, the levels of mercury are quite low and of no health concern”

  38. Chicago speed cameras catch school bus drivers, police cars, CTA operators

    In most instances the fines were passed along to the employees who were behind the wheel, but that wasn’t the case with two sets of workers: CTA bus and van drivers and police officers in unmarked cars.

    Bus drivers used to have to pay their own traffic fines. But their union successfully sued to stop it on double-jeopardy grounds because the drivers also are subject to internal discipline, according to CTA spokeswoman Tammy Chase.

    The agency is now responsible for the fines. The Tribune found 714 speeding cases among CTA bus and minibus drivers.

    The paper’s analysis also found that more than 2,000 tickets were issued to unmarked police vehicles, including those driven by detectives or supervisors. Those police employees did not have to pay the fines if they could explain to supervisors that they had a good reason to be speeding.

    1. But their union successfully sued to stop it on double-jeopardy grounds because the drivers also are subject to internal discipline,

      This should only work if the “internal discipline” included criminal charges. Which I’m pretty sure it doesn’t.

      1. Suppose a cop murders someone and somehow manages to lose his job, you would still have him go to jail? You’re a monster!

      2. Technically, moving violations are not criminal

        1. Yet another reason why double jeopardy wouldn’t apply, then.

      3. I’m guessing “internal discipline” means a paid vacation and longer wait times for passengers.

    2. I saw a pic somewhere with a car that broke down being carried on the back of a truck trailer that was speeding and the guy was sent a ticket because the camera snapped the car plate.

  39. Phoenix Suns owner partially blames millennial culture for his team’s failure

    “I’m not sure if it’s the technology or the instant gratification of being online. But the other thing is, I’m not a fan of social media. I tell my kids it’s like Fantasy Land. The only thing people put online are good things that happen to them, or things they make up. And it creates unrealistic expectations. We’ve had a number of setbacks this year that have taken their toll on us, and we haven’t been resilient. Therefore, it’s up to our entire organization to step up their game.”

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