State Department Lists 'Bringing Peace, Security to Syria' Among Top 2015 Accomplishments

Let's look at a few recent news items about this oh-so-safe and peaceful country...

FreedomHouse/Flickr

Ahh, Syria circa 2015: an idyllic land of peace, prosperity, and security… said no one ever. Well, except for the U.S. State Department, which counts "bringing peace [and] security to Syria" among its top 2015 accomplishments. In a year-in-review post on the department's official blog, it also takes credit for "step[ping] up to to aid the Syrian people during their time of need" and developing a plan for "political transition" that "is responsive to the needs of the Syrian people." 

Syria—as you might recall if you haven't lived in an isolated underground lair for the past few years—is currently overrun by the brutal Islamic State and losing citizens by the millions, triggering something of a global geopolitical crisis as refugees flood neighboring countries and Europe. Meanwhile, U.S. "aid" has consisted of bombing the crap out of potential ISIS targets and any innocent Syrian adults and children who happen to be nearby. 

Let's look at a few recent headlines and news items about this oh-so-safe and peaceful country: 

• "On Monday, at least 14 people were killed and 90 wounded in two suicide bombings in the central city of Homs." 
• Drone footage shows 'apocalyptic scenes' of Syria
• Most Syrian rebels sympathise with ISIS, says thinktank 
• Islamic State truck bombs kill up to 60 people in Syrian town
• A Stolen Antiquities Department and a Slave Ministry: Government, Islamic State Style
• "One in five persons currently in Lebanon is a Syrian refugee." 
• Syria: An endless 'Calvary' 
• "U.S. and coalition military forces have continued to attack Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant terrorists in Syria and Iraq, Combined Joint Task Force Operation Inherent Resolve officials reported today."
• Inside Kremlin's creeping military campain in Syra
• Dozens die in strikes on Syrian school district, other areas
• A 'flesh eating' disease is currently spreading across Syria

If this is what peace and security looks like to the U.S. State Department, then we're all in deeper shit than we thought. 

"Our diplomats have been busy, and they have met with significant success across a range of issues – each of these issues vital in their own way to ensuring the safety, security, and prosperity of the American people," according to State Department blogger John Kirby, whose "take on #2015in5Words" proceeds to go on for another 1,340 words. Other things the department sees fit to brag about as top 2015 accomplishments include "winning [the] fight against violent extremists," by which it means holding a conference with that title; Secretary of State John Kerry assuming a two-year chairmanship of the Arctic Council; and making a pie-in-the-sky pact with other nations to "end poverty" and "ensure prosperity for all." 

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's not State's fault if Syria didn't take it.

[gaoxiaen]

That looks like a peaceful street. Obviously, that kid loves it there.

[Citizen X]

I'd like to cordially invite anyone who takes the U.S. Government at its word to slap themselves in the damn mouth.

[Swiss Servator]

MUST CREDIT SWISS SERVATOR!

Swiss Servator|12.28.15 @ 2:34PM|#

Cheer up - the US State Department has had a Year of Triumphs! http://www.politico.com/story/.....win-217168

[Fist of Etiquette]

You get nothing and like it.

[Swiss Servator]

Indeed.

[Swiss Servator]

MUST CREDIT SWISS SERVATOR!

Swiss Servator|12.28.15 @ 2:34PM|#

Cheer up - the US State Department has had a Year of Triumphs! http://www.politico.com/story/.....win-217168

[Swiss Servator]

Oh, who the heck am I kidding - certainly not the squirrelz.

[Crusty Juggler]

Here's a guy that really likes to toot his own horn.

[Swiss Servator]

Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[Crusty Juggler]

When I was growing up we called it "wank shame," which is what the state department should title their year-in-review post.

[Rich]

Oh, FFS!

They have no shame at all! 8-(

[Swiss Servator]

Don't worry, shriek will be along to say how this IS a success, oh and BOOOOSH!!!!!!

[Jerryskids]

Take on #2015in5words: Please God, kill me now.

[Swiss Servator]

"No, fuck you! Cut Spending"

"Fuck off slavers, and statists"

"The damned year done yet?"

[PapayaSF]

Sweet Meteor of Death, welcome!

[GamerFromJump]

A good year for games?

[Crusty Juggler]

I assume that entire link was a really good parody.

[AlmightyJB]

Heckuva job Hilly!

[Winston]

So is this the Great Lie technique in action?

[Rich]

Led by Secretary Kerry, the United States also continues to push for a political transition in Syria, and under his stewardship, in December, the UN Security Council passed a U.S.-sponsored resolution that puts forward a roadmap that will facilitate a transition within Syria to a credible, inclusive, nonsectarian government that is responsive to the needs of the Syrian people.

Alrighty, then.

[GILMORE?]

"the UN Security Council passed a U.S.-sponsored resolution that puts forward a roadmap that will facilitate a transition..."

Diplomatic-bullshit-speak for, "Some people had a conversation about a subject none of them understood and made vague promises to maybe talk about it again when someone knew something"

[Gilbert Martin]

"Diplomatic-bullshit-speak for, "Some people had a conversation about a subject none of them understood and made vague promises to maybe talk about it again when someone knew something"

I thought that was what the Paris Climate Change Conference babbling was about.

[Rich]

Yep.

O'Malley was "good" at the providing-the-way-forward thing.

[Hyperion]

You know what else O'Malley moved forward?

[Rich]

Thrusts for sex education?

[OneOut]

"the UN Security Council passed a U.S.-sponsored resolution that puts forward a roadmap that will facilitate a transition within Syria to a credible, inclusive, nonsectarian government that is responsive to the needs of the Syrian people."

Just like Iraq !!

#winning

[OneOut]

government that is responsive to the needs of the Syrian people."

Germany is already sensitive to the needs of the Syrian people.

[GILMORE?]

Its a sign of the bubble-world that Diplomats live in that they can say shit like this with a straight face.

Because OF COURSE bunch of feckless, incompetent middle-management bureaucrats are going to suddenly create the magic-recipe for a "credible, inclusive, nonsectarian government" in the midst of the most-violent & openly-sectarian-civil-warfare in the Arab world.... in a place where both NATO and Russia have both deployed military assets with entirely opposite purposes.

Why, these people are the Toppest of TOP MEN!

John Kerry can barely organize a dinner party without a giant staff to delegate tasks to. Multiply that same talentless incompetence a thousandfold for anyone else in the UN... and the Epic Hubris goes beyond absurd.

They're like a group of 5th graders announcing their plan to cure cancer by the end of the summer, using only the materials available to them in the Art Room Closet. You just kind of want to pat them on the head and go, "You are just ***so*** cute!!!".

[Rich]

Beautiful.

[Long Woodchippers]

Sounds like the old Soviet Union's "Radio Station Peace and Progress"

[Brochettaward]

I'll give them this - that one takes a lot of chutzpah to print and release publicly.

[buybuydandavis]

If you like your doctor, you can keep him.
My dog ate my hard drive.
There were no classified emails on Hillary's home server.
Not even a smidgen of corruption.
...

They don't say things to be believed anymore, they state obvious lies to spit in our faces, reveling in our subjection.

"When I lie to your face, you'll take it and like it."

[AlmightyJB]

They've helped increase gun sales in Syria and back home stimulating the global economy.

[Zunalter]

I would hate to see war if this is peace.

[Hyperion]

State Department Lists 'Bringing Peace, Security to Syria' Among Top 2015 Accomplishments

Holy fucking batcows, these people are truly delusional. I guess if they accidentally released a deadly mutated strain of smallpox and it killed 90% of the population, they'd list that as an accomplishment also.

[AlmightyJB]

Overpopulation crisis solved by current administration. /nyt headline

[Hyperion]

Or 'We successfully saved 10% of the people!'

[gaoxiaen]

Global fish and wildlife populations predicted to recover.

[OneOut]

As said above "Bringing Peace, Security to Syria" was a name of a conference that sucessfully spent above it's budget , put the Top Men in luxury acomadations with 4 or 5 star meals, easily availabe hookers, and a lusty per diem.

It is an accomplishment when a lavish government conference comes off without public scrutiny.

It was a sucess by government measures.

[buybuydandavis]

We have always been at war with Eastasia.

[buybuydandavis]

Had Enough Yet?
Vote Woodchipper 2016

[Rhywun]

Had Enough Yet?

That is *perfect*.

[Palin's Buttplug]

A Russian ship left Iran on Monday carrying almost all of Iran's stockpile of low-enriched uranium, fulfilling a major step in the nuclear deal struck last summer and, for the first time in nearly a decade, apparently leaving Iran with too little fuel to manufacture a nuclear weapon.
From Our Advertisers

The shipment was announced by Secretary of State John Kerry and confirmed by a spokesman for Russia's civilian nuclear company, Rosatom. Mr. Kerry called it "one of the most significant steps Iran has taken toward fulfilling its commitment" and American officials say that it may now be only weeks before the deal reached in July will go into effect.

On "implementation day" roughly $100 billion in Iranian assets will be unfrozen, and the country will be free to sell oil on world markets and operate in the world financial system.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12......html?_r=0

Team Rd weeps as war boners wilt.

[OneOut]

Turd when it was announced that Obama was going to be handed $800 million to pass out through the Democrat pipeline I remarked to a proggie ex friend of mine about the massive corruption and theft that was sure to follow.

He went on a rant about how none of that money was going to be wasted or stolen because the Democrat party was for the little guys and would only use that money for good and every penny would be accounted for.

You are as stupid as he is..

[John C. Randolph]

So, the DoS is just as full of shit under the Ketchup Gigolo as it was under the Clinton regime? Good go know, I guess.

-jcr

[LynchPin1477]

I want some falafel.

[EdWuncler]

http://www.spin.com/2015/12/mo.....er-70-rip/

"Mot?rhead have confirmed Lemmy's death in a Facebook post. "There is no easy way to say this?our mighty, noble friend Lemmy passed away today after a short battle with an extremely aggressive cancer," the band wrote. "He had learnt of the disease on December 26th, and was at home, sitting in front of his favorite video game from The Rainbow which had recently made it's way down the street, with his family."

🙁

[GILMORE?]

I blame the PM links for failing to cover this. Lemmy is the symbolic incarnation of libertarian-ness. I will weep silently for him and blast Motorhead.

[Crusty Juggler]

He was an enthusiastic collector of Nazi memorabilia, which is problematic.

[GILMORE?]

I would love someone to start to explain this to me, while i nod and gradually dial the volume up to where their face vibrates and their hair starts bouncing.

[PapayaSF]

I saw them on tour around that time. My ears rang for two days.

[GamerFromJump]

Cancer is of Nature. Which is why my philosophy is fuck Nature.

[JoWaDat889]

The US cant even seem to take care of its own anymore yet has plenty of money to take care of everyone else.

http://www.GoneAnon.tk

[GamerFromJump]

Baghdad Bob relocated. Who knew?

[wFt]

If we ever realize a 1984 dystopia, this site [Reason] will be one of/ actually the first to go. Confounding government propaganda will certainly be a capital crime.

[Swiss Servator]

"Gah, damn Tundara well-chilled"

[AlmightyJB]

Not quite yet.