Hillary Clinton Proposes $275B in New Federal Infrastructure Spending, New York Times Adele Tweet Yields Controversy, Kobe Bryant to Retire: A.M. Links

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  • boixoesnois

    Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $275 billion in new federal infrastructure spending.

  • Clashes between police and protesters marked the beginning of the climate conference in Paris, which is being attended by almost 150 world leaders and at which President Obama spoke this morning.
  • Authorities have identified the victims of the shooting at a Planned Parenthood clinic in Colorado Springs on Friday.
  • The University of Chicago cancelled classes today after the FBI told the school it had found an anonymous threat made against the school online.
  • The parliament of South Korea approved a free trade deal with China that will go into effect later this year.
  • Readers of The New York Times are upset over a tweet the newspaper sent out referring to singer Adele as a 27-year-old mother.
  • Lakers shooting guard Kobe Bryant announced he would be retiring at the end of this basketball season.

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  1. Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $275 billion in new federal infrastructure spending.

    All Foundation related.

    1. Hello.

          1. “Prove it.”

            Might want to glove up before opening the mail in the near future.

        1. Damn kids. Knock it off, my lights keep going off and on.

    2. Shovel ready jobs?

      She is just signaling to her cronies that she will line their pockets.

    3. 275 is an ugly number, why not just round it to a cool trillion. hell, why not just a blank check? taxpayers can keep whatever is left over.

    4. Stupid Party should start running ads non-stop showing that she wants to charge $1,000 in new taxes to every man, woman, and child in the country. Then show the clip of her asking what difference it makes. Of course, being the Stupid Party, they won’t.

      1. The problem with that is that the GOP wants to spend, too, only to the benefit of different interests.

  2. OT: The derp has come to Maryland

    Apparently, Morgan and Coppin State Universities (both HBCUs) are feeling left out from being decent schools. Instead of stepping up their game, they and useful idiots at other Maryland schools have decided that more successful universities (Towson, Baltimore, UMBC) should be penalized. As we all know, good academic programs are entirely portable. UMBC, for example, only became known as a decent research university almost on par with University of Maryland (College Park) by a fluke of nature.

    Bonus irony: Freeman Hrabowski III, President of UMBC, was up until 5 minutes ago “one of them” (black, liberal, “socially aware”, etc). But, in the end, since he dared to do something other than focus on race 100% of the time, he too has been thrown under the bus of “social justice”.

    Full disclosure: I’m a UMBC alumnus

    1. You too? I was there in the Calvin Bong Tong Lee days.

      1. Jeez, that’s practically a different school. Almost half the buildings were younger than me when I was there.

        1. Thanks for making me feel ANCIENT! Oh yeah, I forgot, I am ancient. What department were you in?

          1. Any time.

            I was a Math major. Dabbled in the CS department (ended up with a minor) but man was that culture fucked up.

            1. I think all my math profs long ago died of old age. My Calc 2 prof was a guy from Turkey named Kunt. He got so tired of correcting people’s logical pronunciation that he legally changed it to Koont.

              1. Prof. Seidman was there during your time and mine but most of my professors were younger, arriving at the school in the 80s or 90s.

                1. Never had him, but I see that one of my other profs is still Emeritus. I had him for Multivariable and he gave me the only B I ever got in a math course. “You didn’t do any of the homework, you never came to class.” “Yes, but my test average was the highest in the class, 98.” “Doesn’t matter, you get a B.”

    2. And BTW, do you know why its nickname is UCLA?

      1. Underperfoming Children Left to Atrophy?

        1. Close but no cigar. University of Catonsville, Left of Arbutus.

          1. In my time there, any nickname for the school that featured a C would have it mean “Chinese”. And the school is still in Catonsville…

            1. Catonsville, not Cantoneseville.

      2. Uncle Candy’s Little Angels?

        1. I may use that.

    3. Paging Diana Moon Glampers…

    4. The leaders of those colleges know how to pick their moment. They’ve got a real possibility of forcing non-compete laws on the other colleges in their state. Sure most students will decide to go out of state rather than get a engineering degree from their crappy schools, but enough students will decide to stay in state that they should see a boost in enrollment.

      Either they will get what they want or nothing will happen. There is nothing to lose and everything to gain.

      1. Although I in no way support their goals, I would find it deliciously ironic if Coppin and/or Morgan became majority white/Asian as a consequence of them getting what they want.

        Of course, then they’ll complain that all the HBCUs are becoming more white (which is, in fact, already taking place–just not for Coppin or Morgan, yet).

        1. I don’t know about those Maryland schools, but I’ve been hearing grumblings about HBCU’s “becoming white” for the past decade. And these are mostly (now) state-owned insitutions. It’s almost as if they want laws allowing people to discriminate on the basis of race.

          1. They don’t know what they fucking want, apart from more money and more attention. Of course, the more they get of the latter, the less they’re likely to get of the former. White guilt has moved a lot of money in Maryland, but even that has its limits.

        2. At one point, the big controversy was why Morgan, Coppin, and Towson were just colleges while UMBC was a university. Clearly racism. So the other schools got “promoted” and are now pissed that this form of institutional affirmative action didn’t immediately propel them to the forefront of respected research schools.

    5. The derp has always been in Maryland. All you need to do is drive up I-95 for 5 minutes and see how many shitty Maryland drivers cruise in the far left lane, holding up traffic for 20+ miles.

      1. Well, half the state is employed by one government agency or another. They already think they’re entitled to a job no matter how shitty they are; driving in the left lane regardless of circumstances is like a lesser privilege to them.

      2. No but seriously what the hell is wrong with Maryland drivers? They are the terror of the Capitol Beltway.

    6. The derp never left Maryland.

      1. Ah yes, but this particular wave of derp is now taking hold here. It was fertile territory, to be sure.

    7. I love the headline: “UB, Towson end joint MBA program as court considers remedies for black schools.”

      Anyway, this sort of thing is common in the former Jim Crow states. These black universities were established as counterparts to white universities in the segregation era. When the white universities were integrated, it would have been logical to close the Jim Crow black universities, but many black people – including alumni – liked these separate institutions and their educational atmosphere.

      So the former Jim Crow black schools have striven to stay relevant as the integrated universities drain away students who in the past would have, because of constrained choices, have gone to the black schools.

      So maintaining the relevance of the traditional black colleges has become a Civil Rights Issue, with courts closing “duplicative” programs at the integrated schools in hopes of luring students of all races to these institutions,

      This is the sort of litigation which would have made sense in the “separate but equal” era, back when black students couldn’t just transfer to the white colleges if they didn’t like the offerings at the black colleges.

      It’s a split-personality thing – the old Jim Crow states must be integrated and at the same time have special offerings at formerly segregated schools.

      1. So maintaining the relevance of the traditional black colleges has become a Civil Rights Issue, with courts closing “duplicative” programs at the integrated schools in hopes of luring students of all races to these institutions

        Then the next “Civil Rights Issue” will be the “whitening” of HBCUs.

      2. When the white universities were integrated, it would have been logical to close the Jim Crow black universities, but many black people – including alumni – liked these separate institutions and their educational atmosphere.

        Most of the campus BLM protests seem to be focused on replicating that “black college” cultural experience/environment in majority white/Asian universities. They don’t feel comfortable in an environment where most of the students don’t look like them, so they equate that discomfort with “systemic racism”–despite the fact that black college students are among the privileged people of their generation, black, white, or otherwise–and demand that the colleges create exclusively “black” spaces and curricula for them.

        1. More like they don’t “feel comfortable” in an environment where your grade is not based upon reciting grievance studies mantras, where your homework assignments consume most of your free time, and where you have to spend the week before a test studying instead of partying.

          Race is an entirely secondary issue here. Which is, naturally, why it’s at the forefront.

    1. Those people are beyond parody.

    2. The only discrimination they should practice is requiring residents not to snitch on Maj Jong games.

    3. My wife (Ashkinazi) shamefully admits being raised with the notion that Sephardic Jews are lesser Jews. I think the Nobel laureate list supports that notion, but contemporary culture certainly doesn’t. Its certainly ironic that people who have historically been shat on tend do be elitist.

  3. China Is Building a Giant Animal-Cloning Factory to Feed the Masses

    The new facility will focus on cloning cattle to feed China’s burgeoning population, which likes its meat.

    Xu Xiaochun, the chief executive of BoyaLife, the company behind the new operation, told The Guardian, “We are going [down] a path that no one has ever travelled. We are building something that has not existed in the past.” The company intends to produce 100,000 cow embryos per year and hopes to provide 5 percent of the meat eaten in China.

    In addition to cattle, BoyaLife will be cloning champion racehorses and dogs used to sniff out victims of natural disasters or stashes of illegal drugs. Xu told The Guardian that the new clone factory would also rescue endangered species from extinction.

    1. So they are using a more expensive process than the popsicle method why? Unless they’ve mastered artificial wombs that are cheaper than feeding and housing an animal, I’m not sure what the point is.

      1. Or for a layperson like myself, this is cheaper than letting the cows f**k?

        This sounds like a scam.

        Also, “China is building”… few phrases set off more alarm bells.

        1. With actual cloning you can get genetically identical copies of an organism. Even if you breed from a limited pool there are sometimes mutations.

          1. the objection is to the part of the headline referring to “Feeding The Masses”, which to me implies producing more food, which cloning does not accomplish.

            ok, ok, i guess if you were cloning your most productive animal you could see some gain in efficiency, but still, it’s not like this is going to produce a shit load of extra beef that wasn’t available (at a reasonable price) before.

      2. you mean cloning doesn’t magically result in a full grown animal with only gametes as inputs?

        HOLLYWOOD LIED

        1. You get full grown animals by using gamers as inputs.

      3. Maybe the animals thought the popsicle was too cold.

    2. Practice for the eventual Crone Army

    3. Maybe they are going to clone these:

      http://singularityhub.com/2011…..ly-ripped/

    4. “The new facility will focus on cloning cattle to feed China’s burgeoning population, which likes its meat.”
      And “dogs used to sniff out victims of natural disasters or stashes of illegal drugs”

      Never eat at a Chinese restaurant that has a Veterinarian in the same strip mall.

  4. ISIS cocks:

    http://i100.independent.co.uk/…..WkZAXT3Qze

    1. Can females cock a gun?

  5. Readers of The New York Times are upset over a tweet the newspaper sent out referring to singer Adele as a 27-year-old mother.

    The paper simply wants readers to know the reason for her size.

      1. Hey, now. Her health is getting better. She no longer has to sit down to sing a four minute song.

        1. Wow, she’s like the new Pavarotti. He had “no stairs” in his contracts.

    1. I don’t really have any interest in Adele, but I happen to have just heard an interview with her. And she talked a lot about being a mother and how much of the content of the album has to do with her experience being a mother. So maybe that’s why the NYT described her that way.
      It really is amazing the shit people choose to get all worked up over.

      1. How dare you not be interested in Adele.

        1. Zeb should just change his handle to something more appropriate, like savage.

        2. Adele who? She doesn’t have a last name?

      2. Well, describing a woman as a mother means implicitly that that is the only role in life that a woman can and should aspire to.

        Don’t you know anything?

        1. And no one ever mentions that a man is a father after he has taken a few years off to focus on parenting. Never.

    2. All I know about Adele is that she did the theme song for the second-most-recent Bond movie. What’s the issue here? Is she not a mother? Is she not 27?

      So confused….

      1. She sang “Goldfinger”?

        Oh, second most “recent” Bond movie.

  6. Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $275 billion in new federal infrastructure spending.

    And to think, this is the image of her she wants us to see.

    1. It will play well with Democrat primary voters. After all, we *need to* be more like Europe with their expensive infrastructure, eg trainz. We’ll just raise taxes on a few CEOs.

    2. The lat two stimulus bill raids on the Treasury worked so well, why not another?

  7. Declaring ‘new beginning’, EU and Turkey seal migrant deal

    urkey promised to help stem the flow of migrants to Europe in return for cash, visas and renewed talks on joining the EU in a deal struck on Sunday that the Turkish prime minister called a “new beginning” for the uneasy neighbours.

    Leaders of the European Union met Turkish premier Ahmet Davutoglu in Brussels on Sunday to finalise an agreement hammered out by diplomats over the past month, as Europeans struggle to limit the strain on their 28-nation bloc from taking in hundreds of thousands of Syrian refugees.

    A key element is 3 billion euros (?2.1 billion) in EU aid for the 2.2 million Syrians now in Turkey. The money is intended to raise their living standards and so persuade more of them to stay put rather than attempt perilous crossings to the EU via the Greek islands.

    1. Um, once you start paying them you’ll never stop. And the price of payments will only increase.

        1. Yep, Switzy nailed it.

          1. Actually you did! I just had the name leap to mind.

        2. Gelded Turks? Some one will get offended.

      1. The Turks have a long history of extorting money from foreigners. Good for them, I sez.

    2. ‘Pretty nice union you have there…be a shame if something were to happen to it.”

      –Erdogan

    3. Send money, guns, and lawyers…

      1. …that’s how it goes, right?

        1. That is the order I would want them, song lyrics aside.

        2. No. No it’s not.

          /Warren Zevon

    4. The money is intended to raise their living standards

      Raising living standards by government spending — always works.

      1. …because nobody will have heard of that big chunk of money coming down the pipeline and raise prices.

  8. The University of Chicago cancelled classes today after the FBI told the school it had found an anonymous threat made against the school online.

    Exam day?

    1. Not Chicago. Bunch of gloriously high wattage nerds. They probably love exam day more than any other.

      1. And exams are next week, anyhow – it’s not even reading period yet.

    2. local headlines referring to it as ‘threat of gun violence’….just part of the propaganda campaign.

      1. Well they do reside on the South Side. 63rd and Cottage Grove is just a few blocks away.

      2. Well, they couldn’t very well print “threat of dildo violence,” could they?

  9. My workplace recently changed web proxies, going from a fairly inobtrusive product to zScaler. For those of you who don’t know, zScaler (in addition to being slow as molassas running uphill on a cold day) does a deliberate man in the middle attack to open up your encrypted traffic, and on top of that it sets cookies masquerading as the site you visited with the name starting with “_sm_au_”. I have been trying since this disaster started to find a way to block these zScaler cookies even on sites that I otherwise permit to set cookies (ie reason) because there is no reason why it should be trying to set one for each and every element or action on a given page.

    Google searches have thusfar been less than fully helpful because these cookies pretend to be from sites when the sites themselves don’t know or care about them. While there is no way to actually hide my browsing from the proxy server, the cookies are just an insult, and I want them to stop – one way or another.

    Does anyone here have some idea how I might block cookies by a name pattern and not a site of origin?

    1. I think the “EditThisCookie” extension for Chrome will allow you to do that.

      1. Got anything for a mozilla derivative? Chrome and I have philosophical differences.

        1. It looks like Firebug might work for you.

    2. a deliberate man in the middle attack to open up your encrypted traffic

      I feel like there isn’t a hole deep enough to put all of the “let’s make everything SSL!” idiots into.

      Yeah, morons, and then everybody from your workplace to your home ISP is going to MITM you to see your traffic, which not only defeats the fucking purpose but will also expose things that really should be hidden like passwords.

      Maybe we’ll finally get a proper encryption spec/library for browser JavaScript, or maybe a proper TLS-SRP implementation in browsers. And maybe pigs will fly.

      1. As opposed to before when they were doing this anyway on unencrypted traffic? The point of SSL is that the negotiated session is encrypted at the end points – no traffic content is visible at any point after the initial handshake. Malicious traffic programs like this zScaler operate at the endpoints via an installed program – meaning they crap all over your traffic once it our content emerges from the kernel. Contents are impenetrable in between

        1. This is the disconnect between the ivory tower and the peasants on the streets.

          The difference between then and now is that genuinely sensitive information like passwords, authentication tokens, credit card numbers, etc. were protected. With everything being SSL, there is no discrimination between that sort of information and cat pictures on your Twitter feed.

          Governments are going to get the information anyway. You can’t hide anything from someone with direct access to the server.

          But employers wouldn’t be so hasty to roll out MITM software if the only thing using SSL were login pages, checkout pages, and banks. Twitter went SSL, hooray! Now my employer (or, rather, some pointy haired boss) knows my bank balance and login information.

          And yeah, UnCivilServant is probably smart enough not to do such a thing, as he figured out this was going on in the first place. But your average person? Not so much.

        2. Now, as far as solutions, I hinted at some in my post. Yet nobody seems real keen on ponying up. TLS support languished in Firefox for years until the woeful insecurity of SSL3 finally made the headlines and all the Firefox devs couldn’t whine about their not being enough uptwinkles in Bugzilla. TLS-PKI is fundamentally broken as this whole MITM business illustrates, but TLS-SRP support is basically unheard of. And using JavaScript for crypto is still laughable.

          1. Ugh, edit button. That bit about FF and TLS should read: “and all the Firefox devs couldn’t just whine about there not being enough uptwinkles in Bugzilla any more”

    3. I’m sure you probably know this but those cookies are how the proxy saves state for your browsing. The proxy server doesn’t really care about the contents- it is merely resaving the data so that when it is requested via the site you visit, the proxy server can retrieve it from your browser. As you noted, the big problem is that it is accessing all the data you access as the proxy is the real client requesting web pages. Fucking with the cookies is just cutting off your nose to spite your face.

      1. Actually, if it can’t set these insult cookies, it adds the same data to the URL, where I can see it.

        Otherwise, it would break on sites where I deny cookies entirely.

        1. Your IT department should be razed to the ground. Not only did decide to compromise their entire network in order to fuel some micromanager’s surveillance fetish, but they weren’t even intelligent enough to notice that this product depends upon keeping state in a manner that is easily tampered with.

          So apparently none of you are trustworthy enough to establish direct SSL connections to remote sites, but you are all trustworthy enough to be able to spoof the proxy server.

          1. It was a decision made by management, not IT.

            1. Cause management isn’t worried about system security, but people doing something management doesn’t want them to do. Control over security.

            2. Ah, well that’s fun too. Why have an IT department if you know IT better than they do?

              1. Why have an IT department if you know IT better than they do?

                To do the grunt work and take the blame, obviously.

  10. Man Attacks Roommate for Taking Too Long in Bathroom in NJ

    The Jersey Journal reports that the attack happened around 2 a.m. Saturday at an apartment building in Jersey City.

    The victim told police that the man yelled at him through a closed door to get out because he wanted to use the bathroom. The victim’s neck was cut by glass from the shattered mirror, but he refused treatment for his injuries.

    The 32-year-old alleged assailant was treated for small cuts on his left arm. He’s charged with simple assault and domestic violence.

    something something Coney Dogs

    1. I’ve found the longer someone is in the bathroom, the less I want to use it next.

    2. This guy has some serious issues.

      I mean every sane person knows that when your roommate takes too long in the bathroom you just go piss on his bed instead

      1. How have you not been murdered by your roommates yet?

        1. “It must be that fucking cat”

          1. Smells different. You should know that.

  11. Clashes between police and protesters marked the beginning of the climate conference in Paris…

    All that needless CO2 expended.

    1. College of Climate Cardinals meet in Paris.

      1. SugarFree to the white courtesy phone

  12. Brazilian police hunt Santa Claus who stole Sao Paulo helicopter

    Brazilian police are hunting for a Sao Paulo Santa Claus who kicked off the Christmas shopping season by stealing a helicopter.

    The thief rented the aircraft late Friday from an air taxi service at the Campo Marte airport in Sao Paulo for a Black Friday “surprise,” the Sao Paulo state security secretariat said on Saturday.

    During the flight, the Santa forced the pilot to fly to a small farm outside of Sao Paulo city, where they were met by a third person, the secretariat said.

    The pilot was tied up and the two perpetrators flew away.

  13. Spanish feminists offend Catholics with giant plastic vagina protest

    Three women who carried a giant plastic vagina during a march to celebrate Worker’s Day, held every year on May 1st, are facing charges of “crimes against religious sentiment”.

    The three women, who have not been named, allegedly mimicked Spain’s famous Holy Week processions that take place in the run up to Easter.

    The women “carried a plastic vagina a couple of metres high in the style of the Virgin Mary,” said the Seville-based judge.

      1. For those who don’t know, the vesica piscis is a religious symbol from deep antiquity that symbolizes birth and rebirth. It was appropriated by Christianity early on and is featured in the design of many cathedrals and used in several medieval paintings. Therefore, the church should merely thank these feminists for their efforts to add to the symbolism of their parade. After all, Mother Mary herself is a symbol of birth or rebirth. The more, the merrier.

    1. Here come the vagina police.

    2. Finally, a practical use for my giant penis Halloween costume.

  14. For our safety, our future: Chris Christie for President

    Chris Christie is a solid, pro-life conservative who has managed to govern in liberal New Jersey, face down the big public unions, and win a second term. Gov. Christie can work across the aisle, but he won’t get rolled by the bureaucrats. We don’t need as President some well-meaning person from the private sector who has no public experience.

    Gov. Christie is right for these dangerous times. He has prosecuted terrorists and dealt admirably with major disasters. But the one reason he may be best-suited to lead during these times is because he tells it like it is and isn’t shy about it.

    Other candidates have gained public and media attention by speaking bluntly. But it’s important when you are telling it like it is to actually know what you are talking about. Gov. Christie knows what he is saying because he has experienced it. And unlike some others, he believes in what he says because he has a strong set of conservative values.

    1. New Hampshire evidently wants to beat out Iowa in the irrelevancy competition.

      1. The Union Leader has a mixed record. And I think is losing influence. I doubt Christie will show very well in the primary.

        It would be nice if NH became irrelevant in elections, though. All this election shit gets old.

    2. You know who else told it like it is and wasn’t shy about it?

      1. Kajagoogoo?

        1. +1 hush hush

        1. Naw, he was too stoned to get anything right.

      2. Ice Cube?

    3. And the Union Leader endorsed Newt last time around.

    4. Advice for Joe McQuaid: If you want to endorse a candidate have someone compose that endorsement who doesn’t sound like they are in the seventh grade.

  15. Wonkblog: How Coca-Cola has tricked everyone into drinking so much of it

    Over the past 60-plus years, Coca-Cola and PepsiCo have invested unfathomable amounts of money to ensure that people crave their core products. And that investment has often come in forms far more devious than most would imagine, Nestle argues. Sure, the soda industry has paid for its fair share of television commercials, bulletin board ads, and marketing campaigns. But it has also worked (i.e. paid) to block unfavorable legislation, influence policy, maintain its popularity among poor people, young people, and minorities, undermining public health.

    In recent years, soda consumption has slowed, leading many to chronicle its demise. A recent New York Times piece argued that the industry might still win battles, but it’s losing the war. Such a disastrous time for an industry as ruthless as the soda industry, however, has only brought forth some of its most valiant?and deplorable?efforts.

    1. Care to wager that Coke/Pepsi will outlive the NYT?

      1. Of course they will.

    2. Never really cared for coke. I was always a Dr. Pepper girl. Still don’t want to see the government go after their industry.

    3. I’m thinking soda consumption will level off. People (some people anyway) just have realized that guzzling sugar water all day isn’t great.

    4. “Ruthless” “deplorable”

      ISIS victims don’t know what true horror is until they’ve seen a coke commercial.

    5. LEMME GUESS: THE SOLUTION IS MORE GOVERNMENT AND MORE REGULATION!!! AM I RIGHT?!?!?

      These fucking idiots always say shit like “it has also worked (i.e. paid) to block unfavorable legislation, influence policy”, etc and yet never seem to get that goverment in the equation is the reason for all this rent seeking…

      Why are leftists so fucking stupid?

      1. These fucking idiots always say shit like “it has also worked (i.e. paid) to block unfavorable legislation, influence policy”, etc and yet never seem to get that goverment in the equation is the reason for all this rent seeking…

        This times 1,000. Leftists look at rent-seeking interest groups influencing regulation and conclude, “Hey, you know what would make this stop? Why don’t we give more power and influence to those politicians who demonstrating by the very existence of this issue that can’t be trusted to wield power responsibly? BRILLIANT!” It’s the same case with the whole campaign finance question (you know, First Amendment aside and all).

        Maybe, just maybe, the solution is to strip these politicians of their power to pick winners and losers entirely.

      2. Except some of this isn’t even rent-seeking. It sounds a lot more like “they lobbied the government to prevent legislation that would fuck them”. How about this. Let’s pass a law that at least a dozen people get to kick the staffers at Wonkblog in the crotch every day. And if they post any public objection, that’s just evidence that they’re trying to exert undue influence over the democratic process.

    6. Most people who have the means to will try to block legislation the affects them negatively. There is nothing sinister about that because legislation is not inherently good.

    7. Of course, since Coke also owns water companies, orange juice companies, and energy drink companies, they will land on their feet. They are a fucking soft drink company, no just a purveyor of Coke.

      1. This is the kind of diversity companies need, not polychrome employees.

    8. HOW DARE THEY TRICK ME BY PRODUCING A PRODUCT I WANT TO CONSUME?!?!

    9. Over the past 60-plus years, Coca-Cola and PepsiCo have invested unfathomable amounts of money to ensure that people crave their core products.

      It’s cute that they think this is how it works.

      1. Kraft can spend a bazillion dollars trying to get me to eat American pasteurized process cheesefood, it would be a gazillion dollars wasted. They might be able to get me to buy it if they paid me $5.00 for every $3.00 I purchased, but I still wouldn’t eat it.

      2. The obvious solution was to leave the cocaine in Coca-Cola.

    10. New Yorkers are not responsible for their own actions. Hell, not only do they need to be told what to do, they have to be told what they like.

      This is a city that followed Bloomburg with a fucking socialist.

      When are they due for another earthquake?

      1. When is Louisiana due for another hurricane? 😛

    11. But it has also worked (i.e. paid) to block unfavorable legislation

      Those bastards! That’s what tricked me into drinking Coca-Cola!

  16. Dang… guy two offices down from me had a cardiac event this morning. Made it to the office behind me, where a former SF medic works. I had a lovely chat while on 911 – they wanted all sorts of info. They asked so much, the paramedics made it while I was still answering questions…

    1. stress of the job getting to them?

    2. I had a lovely chat while on 911 – they wanted all sorts of info.

      “What are you wearing?”

      1. Khakis

          1. Swiss sounds hideous!
            Well,Swiss is a guy…

    3. ‘It’s cold out there, huh. So you were saying?’

  17. Report: Hillary Made Bill Take HIV Test

    Hillary Clinton once forced her horn dog hubby Bill to get an HIV test because she knew he preferred to do things au naturel with multiple mistresses, according to an explosive new book, “Bill and Hillary: So This Is That Thing Called Love,” the New York Post gossip section “Page Six” reported Sunday night.

    Hillary got tested also. The Clintons drew a collective sigh of relief when they proved negative.

    Authors Darwin Porter and Danforth Prince also claim that Bill waged his own little war on a woman named Jackie Kennedy Onassis at her Fifth Avenue apartment.

    The former First Lady apparently met resistance when she rebuffed his advances. “We almost indulged in a wrestling match. It was most embarrassing,” she allegedly later told longtime Washington Post publisher Katherine Graham.

    1. “The Clintons drew a collective sigh of relief when they proved negative.”

      INT. Night. Hillary’s lair.

      Hillary (pours herself a glass of blood): Whew, that was close! Drink!’
      Bill: Sooooo….anal?

    2. The only part I don’t believe is the possibility of Bill passing a disease on to Hillary.

      1. Thinking the same thing.

    3. I believe in a thing called love. Just listen to the rhythm of my heart.

    4. I am not sure how much of that to buy as it confirms that they are as big trashbags as I already believed.

    5. “The former First Lady apparently met resistance when she rebuffed his advances. “We almost indulged in a wrestling match. It was most embarrassing,”

      Therapist-in-chief. May be missing a space back there.

  18. Showtime Documentary Presses CIA Leaders on Drones, Torture The Spymasters helps viewers understand the mindset behind controversial decisions. By Glenn Garvin

    Bonus! In that thread, our dear american socialist makes an appearance to defend the government burning people alive because of their religion.

    1. You have to be exag…

      ::reads::

      Goddamn.

    2. That docu seems pretty interesting. That was a good review.

    3. Yeah, but as AmSoc has explained to me on numerous occasions, libertarianism and socialism are totes the same thing, so, really, we ALL are defending the government’s burning people alive because of their religion.

      1. It’s just one of the many things we choose to do together.

  19. 46 Times President Obama Told Americans ‘That’s Not Who We Are’

    President Obama is fond of telling Americans “that’s not who we are” when admonishing them about not agreeing with his liberal principles, a new SuperCut shows.

    Not unlike his warning to political opponents that they may be on the “wrong side of history,” the expression is useful in its ability to shut down conversation and seize a moral high ground, however imaginary.

    Obama has deployed the term to convince the country of his rightness on immigration, Obamacare, education, national security and not voting for Mitt Romney, among other important issues to his presidency.

    1. President Obama is fond of telling Americans “that’s not who we are” when admonishing them about not agreeing with his liberal principles, a new SuperCut shows.

      WHO’S FUNDING THESE SUPERCUTS?

      1. Well, I mean, it’s not the best place to get a haircut, but it’s cheap.

        1. We can tell.

          1. It’s a Brazilian, isn’t it.

        2. Do you use a bowl or one of your mom’s bras?

        3. is back hair actually cut? or shaved?

        4. Well I don’t know if I deserved all that.

          1. It might not be the abuse you deserve, but it is the abuse you are going to get.

          2. welcome to H&R, the 12th armpit of the internet

            1. But is it a shaved armpit?

              1. Don’t other me!

          3. You put a fat hanging curveball over the plate. Yes, you deserved it.

          4. Deserve’s got nothin’ to do with it…

            \spoken in rusty voice\

    2. Dammit, I fundamentally transformed you! Get with the program, people.

  20. By the way, the grand jury proceeding for the officer who killed Tamir Rice has been going on for a month now, probably longer than most trials. And this is because the prosecutor is pulling out all the stops to throw the case and prevent an indictment.

    1. That’s nice. Cleveland is going to burn, and I assume after they do not convict the guy in Chicago, Chicago will burn, too.

      Thank you, police officer unions!

      1. When I was a kid the city of Miami basically burned after cops were acquitted for murdering a man (the 1980 Miami Riots. And it’s going to be worse in Chicago and Cleveland I’m sure. May be worse than ’92 Los Angeles.

      2. And then the unions will claim this is why we need less police accountability.

        1. “if you had never charged the poor hero in the first place, none of this would have happened!”

          /FOP spokescritter

        2. Well, detectives did their best by deleting security footage at Burger King.

          http://www.chicagotribune.com/…..story.html

          1. Wait … fast food empire vs. racist cops?

            A total prog lose-lose, there.

        3. And the NYT will tut-tut America for its racism, and round and round she goes.

    2. It’s pretty obvious that the cops decided to kill the kid before they arrived. It is also obvious that nothing else will happen.

  21. Porn Star Stoya Accuses Her Ex-Boyfriend James Deen of Rape

    Stoya, who is also a writer, was relatively silent about her break-up with Deen, which is believed to have occurred sometime in 2014. Deen has been heralded here and elsewhere across the internet as a man who has gotten women who aren’t into porn interested in it, both for his regular dude appearance and his sort-of embrace of feminism.

    1. Tori Lux: James Deen Assaulted Me, Too

      While James wasn’t performing with me that day, he was present on set?and almost immediately after I’d finished my scene he began to antagonize me. I hadn’t even had time to dress myself when he said, with a smirk on his face, “Tori Lux, would you like to sniff my testicles?” “Nope,” I replied in a neutral tone. “I’ll repeat myself: Tori Lux, would you like to sniff my testicles?” he asked, more aggressively this time. I replied with a firm “No,” in order to establish my boundary?which James then disregarded by grabbing me by the throat and shoving me down onto a mattress on the floor.

      He proceeded to straddle my chest, pinning down my arms with his knees. Then, he raised his hand high above his head, swinging it down and hitting me in the face and head with an open palm. He did this five or six times?hard?before finally getting off of me.

      Disoriented and nursing a sore jaw, I stood up?but before I could collect myself, he grabbed me by my hair and shoved me to my knees, forcing my face into his crotch several times before shoving me to the floor.

      1. Well with the second woman I can at least believe that she had good reason not to believe the cops would do anything if she reported the assault (porn stars are right up there with prostitutes for near impossible to prove rape occurred). Also bonus that she recalls a firm No instead of ‘I said yes because I was scared’ bullcrap we get a lot of the time.
        Despite that I’m more inclined to believe this woman than previous cases trumpeted by the feminists. Still going to have to wait on some sort of evidence before punishing the guy criminally or socially.

      2. So how did they smell?

      3. STEVE SMITH LAUGH AT PUNY JAMES DEEN AND HIS PATHETIC RAPE TRY!

    2. his sort-of embrace of feminism

      The Hugo Schwyzer of porn?

      1. More like the Keyser S?ze of pr0n?

      2. No. Some women will willingly have sex with James Deen.

        1. James Deen, James Deen
          I know just what you mean
          James Deen, you said it all so clean
          And I know my life would look allright
          If I could see it on the silver screen

          1. Jesus, man, could you change the channel?

        2. Hey Farah Abraham already paid him for the pleasure

    3. and his sort-of embrace of feminism.

      I am letting that linger for a moment.

      1. I read that as “finger”

        1. Lord Humungus, would you like to sniff my testicles finger?

          1. uhm… how much is the pay?

      2. For some odd reason, male feminists all see, to be awful people with a higher incidence of sex offenders among their number than the general population.

        1. I’ve been noticing the same thing for a while. I’m wondering if it’s actually true, or if the hypocrisy just makes it seem more common than it actually is. Kind of like the anti-gay activist that it actually gay, they are pretty rare, but such a big deal gets made of the ones that are found that you’d think it made up most their population.

          1. Based on my personal experience, there are guys who have terrible personalities and are deeply unhappy, and who are therefore repellent in the eyes of most people. Some of these guys discover that publicly proclaiming feminist professions of faith get them some degree of acceptance and even access to the opposite sex.

            1. Some of these guys discover that publicly proclaiming feminist professions of faith get them some degree of acceptance and even access to the opposite sex.

              Don’t hate on my game.

            2. So, ugly people having sex?

            3. Some of these guys discover that publicly proclaiming feminist professions of faith get them some degree of acceptance and even access to the opposite sex.

              It really has become a survival and reproduction strategy. The same is true of whites who display the proper amounts of self-loathing, heteros who put up rainbows on their FB profile picture and on and on depending on the victim group you want to get a pass from. It’s a social cue designed to make sure it’s user is one of the last ones of their kind to be lined up against the wall, at the very least.

        2. I does sort of seem that way. But all I have to go on is a few high profile examples. I suspect it isn’t really true. And perhaps the reason for some men being feminists is guilt about their aggressive sexual tendencies and an attempt to reform themselves (or create the appearance that they are reforming themselves).

      3. He embraces it except when someone won’t let him have sex with them

    4. “his sort-of embrace of feminism.”

      There does seem to be an odd correlation between a man’s assertion that he’s a total feminist and his willingness to rape and/or threaten girls with murder.

      Schwyzer being the obvious example.

    5. There is a mini war going on in those comments between the feminists who have rape fantasies and the one who don’t. It’s kind of hilarious. Also shows how feminism breaks down often to its only okay to do the things I like.

      1. It’s always depressing when a subset of feminists go to war against human nature. How on Earth can you tell people what should turn them on?

      2. “Feminism breaks down often to it’s only okay to do the things I like”

        Pretty much. It’s like a religion invented by spoiled three year old girls.

        1. Hey, I live with a spoiled three year girl, and I’m offended on her behalf for the comparison.

  22. Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $275 billion in new federal infrastructure spending.

    NO, FUCK YOU- CUT SPENDING.

    1. Hillary: NO, FUCK YOU- CUNT SPENDING.

    2. But, they are shovel ready!!!!!!

  23. Oklahoma Wesleyan University: School President Writes Letter Addressing ‘Safe Place’ Protests

    “Oklahoma Wesleyan is not a ‘safe place,’ but rather, a place to learn,” Dr. Everett Piper wrote in a letter addressed to students. “This is not a day care. This is a university!”

    1. There has been some sanity in the Harvard Law School as well. Someone put tape over photos of black professors, resulting in the safe spaces crowd getting a case of the vapors, as usual. Then one of the profs whose photos was taped wrote an NYT editorial basically saying “Some photos were vandalized. Who cares?”

      1. Yes. The right response is: “Calm the fuck down.”

      2. Sounds like another false flag operation.

    2. I saw that yesterday, it was brilliant.

    3. Oklahoma Wesleyan will not (yet, at least) be added to the list of schools my future children are forbidden to attend.

  24. Guardian: Before We Colonize Mars, We Need to Rename its Moons

    If nothing else, we should be thinking of the children who will someday grow up to be Mars colonists. No one currently bats an eye when an adult leads a child out into the backyard to admire a planet orbited by panic and terror. These very children may one day exit from their habitat on yet another bright and balmy Martian morning, their hearts brimming with optimism, and look up at those pale moons. We’re doing nothing less than setting up those future colonists for failure ? or interplanetary warfare.

    1. STEVE SMITH MOONS CAMPERS BEFORE BUTTRAPE. NAMED CHEEKS DESTINY AND DESIRE.

    2. This one HAS to be satire. There is absolutely no way that it isn’t.

    3. Can you even see Phobos and Deimos from the Martian surface? I mean they’re just tiny asteroids, and fairly dark colored ones if I’m not mistaken.

      1. DARKMOONSMATTER#

        Should that not be “Moons of color”?

      2. Yes, visible, but small and with low albedo (“dark”).

        1. We know what “low albedo” mean, mansplainer. And if Pheobe and Desmond aren’t all that interested in sex, that’s their business.

        2. Cannabis is a cure for low albedo.

      3. You can. They are also very close to the planet. So close that they orbit faster than the planet spins, so they appear to move the wrong way in the sky. (I think I am correctly remembering all this).

        1. (I think I am correctly remembering all this).

          YOU … were … there?

      4. Yes. If you’ve ever seen a satellite or the Space Shuttle go across the Earth sky, it would look like that because they are so small and orbit so close. I think Ted Sturgeon wrote a short story where astronauts crashed landing on Mars for the first time and the survivor figured out by watching Phobos and Deimos that he’d made it. And died happy.

    4. WTF? The line between parody and reality has been completely erased.

    5. Wait until they find out that Mars is named after the god of war!!!!!!!!!!

      1. The reaction depends on whether the war was started by a Democrat or a Republican.

        1. How many Constitutional Wars have been started by Republicans?

    6. Are Mars’ moons even visible with the unaided eye from the Martian surface? They’re several orders of magnitude smaller than Earth’s Moon.

      1. They are also orders of magnitude closer to the planet.

    7. Umm…does this fucktard realize that Mars is named after the Roman god of war, and not a chocolate bar?

    8. It probably helps mitigate these problems that future Mars colonists are unlikely to be Latin speakers.

      1. Just wait until we start talking about colonizing Uranus….

        1. Herpes already claimed that real estate.

    9. Is it because the names are Greek gods and not Roman ones, unlike their planet?

  25. “This is not a day care. This is a university!”

    How quaint.

    1. T’was a simpler time back then, when universities were universities.

  26. “Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $275 billion in new federal infrastructure spending.”

    Only through government, can you reward failure with other peoples money. Road socialism is an abject failure. Innovation remains stagnant, and road bureaucracies have no incentive to economize. All they scream is “crumbling infrastructure”, while ignoring the reasons why it’s crumbling.

    1. Because nearly the entire network of roads, bridges and highways represent perhaps the most salient example of centrally planned economic goods.

    2. Given the amount of blatant cronyism in road construction and maintenance the FAA’s resistance to drones is just a practice run for their stymying the development of flying cars.

      We are never going to get our flying cars.

  27. “Readers of The New York Times are upset over a tweet the newspaper sent out referring to singer Adele as a 27-year-old mother.”

    Is this the least important story in American history?

    1. It’s like you have never heard about GamerGate.

      1. In the following spittle-flecked rant I am going to explain to you why GamerGate is the most important controversy of our times and that I’m not a lunatic on a day pass from the asylum.

  28. All they scream is “crumbling infrastructure”, while ignoring the reasons why it’s crumbling.

    I blame the Kochspirators.

    1. And you can’t forget the trucks transporting all those Kochtopusses around. They are wrecking the RoAdZ!!!!

    2. KOCHTOPUS!!!!!!

  29. Folks. Meet the Mayor of Molenbeek:

    http://www.gatestoneinstitute……r-moureaux

    1. “”Molenbeek already made headlines for the first time in 2001: Abdessatar Dahmane, the murderer of the Afghan war hero and horror of the Taliban, Ahmed Schah Massoud, was also a regular at the Islamic center at 18 Rue du Manchester, known for its radical views; as well as Hassan El Haski, who was presumed behind the attacks in Casablanca (41 dead in 2003) and Madrid (200 victims in 2004). The weapons that were used in the attacks on the French satirical paper “Charlie Hebdo” in January 2015 came from Molenbeek. The French jihadist Mehdi Nemouche, who caused a bloodbath in the Brussels Jewish Museum the previous year, lived here. In August 2015, Ayoub El Khazzani started out from here on his attempt to attack a train from Amsterdam to Paris.””

      Holy shit. Nuke it from orbit.

    2. “None of the Jews wanted to speak with the Dag Allemaal reporter, out of fear of reprisals. The one exception was a man whom the paper referred to as “Ren?.” Ren? ran a barbershop for over 30 years in the Chauss?e de Gand. Then came a series of acts of violence. It began with graffiti on his shop’s windows: “Sale youpin” (“dirty Jew”) and other anti-Semitic slogans. Later on, six Muslim youths stormed into his shop, destroyed the furnishings and punched Ren? in the face. He called the police. An hour later, the youths returned in order to “punish” him; they broke all the mirrors. For more than 35 years, Ren? had built up a large and loyal customer base, but after this attack, most people were afraid to visit his shop. He had no other choice but to close it.

      How did Moureaux react? By accusing Belgian Jews of wanting to deny Muslims the “right to diversity.”

      If only Ren?, and the other shop owners were able to defend themselves, might their shops remain. Of course the mayor would have jailed them, and labeled them as criminals for defending their liberty and property.

      Didn’t someone disarm the Jews, and ebcourage folks to graffiti, smash up and eventually take over their stores (and homes too)?

      1. What France really needs is more Muslims.

        1. Nah, send ’em here. We need more people who will stand up against those fighting diversity.

    3. Much of the responsibility for this apparently rests with Philippe Moureaux, member of the Socialist Party (Parti Socialiste), who was mayor of Molenbeek from 1992 until 2012. Confronted with the complaints of his citizens, he regularly denied the unsustainable conditions in his town: “It makes me angry when people pick out tiny details and lie about them,” he said in the quoted report. Molenbeek is “not the Bronx;” the problems with criminality only concern a small number of streets, said Moureaux.

      Yeah. The Bronx ain’t that bad. Seriously, how dare he slander the Bronx – a neighborhood that hasn’t produced a single psychotic death cult like Molenbeek has.

      1. “a neighborhood that hasn’t produced a single psychotic death cult like Molenbeek has.”

        You’ve obviously never met any Yankees fans.

        1. Devotion to the Yankees is at least rational, considering they win occasionally. While other teams, say the Cubs, are consistent losers.

          1. Wrigley Field. Which now has lights. But is considered charming. By people who rent out their rooftops.

    4. Just more affirmation of the modern-day Molotov-Ribbentrop pact between Western socialists and Middle Eastern theocratic fascism.

  30. Hillary wants to spend 275 billion. Maybe she would be kind enough to take some of the blood money from the Clinton Foundation. Saudi Arabia launched the worst terriost attack in US history and that Bitch takes 25 million in donations from them. She will be a trillionaire after 8 years as President and a Mosque will replace the Whitehouse.

    1. “a Mosque will replace the Whitehouse”

      I was with you until you went a little crazy in the last 6 words.

      1. It’s like Michael Moore and that lady who hates Muslims had a baby.

      2. You have to admit it would be the ultimate display of tolerance and inclusiveness

      3. Eh, she’s rumored to be literally in bed with the Muslim Brotherhood…

    2. I thought “Rodham” sounded Kenyan. Birthergate 2 sounds like a shittier movie than the first.

      1. Birthergate 2: The Birthening

        1. Birthergate 2: After Birth

  31. “Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $275 billion in new federal infrastructure spending.”

    Piker!
    I propose $10Tn, so we can all be rich!

    1. I propose $100 Tn divided unevenly. I will be rich.

  32. Ted Cruz is awesome!!!

    “”It’s also been reported that [Robert Dear] was registered as an independent and a woman and a transgendered leftist activist. If that’s what he is, I don’t think it’s fair to blame on the rhetoric on the left. This is a murderer.”

    Absolutely, Ted. Your honor; distinguished jury: I move for new facts in this case.

    1. How can I register as a woman? And what does that do for you?

      1. It’s on your gender license.

    2. what in the fuck are you talking about?

      1. He doesn’t know.

        1. His case worker needs to teach him how to HTML.

      2. He’s still mid-orgasm. They’ve been waiting so long for a “right-wing extremist” to manifest in the wild that they just couldn’t hold it any longer.

        1. “Waiting so long…”

          You mean like six months?

          http://securitydata.newamerica…..tacks.html

          1. Evidently there are only two kinds of mass murder: jihadist and “right wing”. Interestingly, Roof (the most recent “right wing” murderer) was a fan of Hitler. Hitler was a fascist/socialist. Roof also was a fan of the confederacy which broke away from the union: not a right wing thing to do. Therefore, Roof is no more a right winger than amsoc is.

          2. Sorry, I thought we were supposed to forget about the murdered churchgoers and focus on the Confederate Flag?

      3. I’m for limited government so when some authoritarian Christianist makes excuses for violent right-wing rhetoric that inspired this assault on the right of women to be free of government intrusion i get upset. Sorry. I’ll make sure not to criticize McCarthy wannabes on this website.

        1. Why don’t you buy a dictionary first.

        2. When has socialism had a “limited government”? You say that you’re for limited government yet you espouse an ideology that historically and logically requires unlimited government.

          1. When it was the Noam Chomsky brand that believed that the proletariat would self-organize into worker collectives.

            This lasts, of course until there’s an actual prospect of government shrinking and then “whoa differences” and we all rally around the “institutions that serve to protect our civil rights” from Kkkochporations and individuals wielding firearms and stuff.

            1. When it was the Noam Chomsky brand that believed that the proletariat would self-organize into worker collectives.

              I’m not familiar with Chomsky’s brand of Socialism but I’m pretty sure that economics, archeology, anthropology, etc., tells us that the workers would instead self-organize into tribes and fight each other for scarce resources. It happens on the playground. It happens everywhere there are social animals. There is no utopia.

        3. “I’m for limited government so when some authoritarian Christianist makes excuses for violent right-wing rhetoric that inspired this assault on the right of women to be free of government intrusion i get upset.”

          I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much dishonesty squeezed into a single sentence.

  33. violent right-wing rhetoric that inspired this assault on the right of women to be free of government intrusion

    Umm, yeah. That must be it.

  34. @nytimes Uh, I think everyone knows who Adele is, you don’t have to describe her like she’s a Midwestern YouTube sensation.

    Strangely, I hadn’t heard of Adele until last Friday. But Machete don’t Tweet, so…

  35. “Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has proposed $275 billion in new federal infrastructure spending.”

    Of course she did.

    We all wants an infrastructure for Christmas

  36. Cops called for “domestic dispute” in Australia. Laugh it off and leave without shooting anyone or any dogs. Or even any spiders.

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