Students Protest Nationwide, Jihadi John Killed, Trump Thinks Iowans Are Stupid: A.M. Links

• 

  Todd Kranin

  Students all over the country protested skyrocketing tuition rates as part of a "Million Student March."

• Another group of triumphant student protesters ousted a college administrator.
• College students think the First Amendment is their enemy.
• Elizabeth Warren, tyrant.
• Donald Trump: "How stupid are the people of Iowa?"
• Jihadi John, the infamous ISIS executioner, was killed in a U.S. drone strike.
• David Hasselhoff is now officially David Hoth.
• Catch me, Robby Soave, on HuffPost Live Friday morning at 10:40 a.m. Eastern Time.

New at Reason.com:

The First Amendment Is Dying: Congress shall make no law, but… By David Harsanyi

Minimum Wage Hike Measures Ignore a Dismal Reality: Unions sponsor dueling propositions to raise pay minimums to $15. By Steven Greenhut

Movie Reviews: By the Sea and Heist: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie as you've never seen them, Robert De Niro as you frequently have. By Kurt Loder

Brickbat: Say What? By Charles Oliver

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Elizabeth Warren, tyrant.

Big squaw in charge.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Hello.

"Jihadi John, the infamous ISIS executioner, was killed in a U.S. drone strike."

Wonderful news. Wonderful.

[gaijin]

Assuming it is true, yes

Outcome of Airstrike Targeting 'Jihadi John' Is Unknown, Kerry and Cameron Say

[Monty Crisco]

Yeah, I am skeptical, and NO ONE would like to see this fucker vaporized than me. First off, how did they aquire a positive ID of "Jihadi John"? What was the deciding factor? What selectors were they using? And why was he a priority? Because he was a public face of ISIS? And also I had heard that he had fallen out with leadership of said assholes and was on the run from an order to kill him, FWIW.

No way is there any sort of certainty here... just a fun "story"...

[Agammamon]

Look, man, they had, like, cellphone metadata and stuff. They got his cell phone number by friending him on Facebook using this hot chick's picture and then just shot the phone. Totally legit. And even if they got the wrong guy, it was still the right guy, because anyone who hangs out near terrorists deserves to die. That's why 'double-tapping' first responders is OK when we do it - we're just bombing more filthy terrorists.

[commodious spittoon]

They opened a totally legit civil complaint against the phone, and in lieu of attempting to seize it as part of the forfeiture process they sent a drone instead.

[R C Dean]

I think his real identity has been known for awhile (not that it makes much difference in setting up an airstrike what the guy's real name is).

No idea how often they send in a missile and the guy they are after just isn't there, as opposed to getting him and a whole bunch of women and children.

[Agammamon]

Apparently its takes an average of 2-3 tries to get it right.

[Krabappel]

How many innocents died in the air strike though? Will we ever find that out? Does anyone even give a shit?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Students all over the country protested skyrocketing tuition rates as part of a "Million Student March."

Debt is invading their safe space.

[Princess Trigger]

They know they're over paying for that shit.

[straffinrun]

+1. You know who else turned the tables?

[Juvenile Bluster]

Adele?

[Illocust]

The Trojan Horse?

[invisible furry hand]

Unquiet spirits?

[Crusty Juggler]

Beck?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Two times?

[gaijin]

and with a microphone?

[Slumbrew]

Jam Master Jay?

[Agammamon]

In the cemetary?

[Restoras]

Dread Pirate Roberts?

[Monty Crisco]

NIXON?!?!?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Dmitri Mendeleev.

[Greg Loves His Woodchipper]

Christ in the temple of God?

[Jerry Smith]

Donnie Yen and Sammo Hung?

[Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair]

Susan, the lazy bitch?

[Trigger Warning]

Kratos?

[Entropy Drehmaschine Void]

Dead or Alive?

https://youtu.be/PGNiXGX2nLU

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ironically, the cost of their own grievance infrastructure in schools is a big reason. A favored method of relief - subsidies - is another.

[Tonio]

"grievance infrastructure"

Brilliant. I'm stealing that.

[Certified Public Asshat]

The problem is, they are too stupid to find an alternative.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

113) The Russians (well, certain of them) are becoming positively delusional:

"Speaking at a ceremony on Red Square, where Lenin's embalmed body remains on public display, Gennady Zyuganov said both Lenin and Jesus Christ had preached a message of 'love, friendship and brotherhood.' Mr. Zyuganov also declared that the Soviet Union had been an attempt to create 'God's kingdom on Earth.'"

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Maybe he meant John Lennon?

[Juvenile Bluster]

No, he was an asshole too.

[Slammer]

Imagine that.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

I am the walrus?

[straffinrun]

Shut up Donny.

[invisible furry hand]

Shut up Donnie

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

[Spencer]

you're out of your element.

[Lord Humungus]

Warped sense of humour could be 'sign of impending dementia'

Nearly all of those asked, said that they had noticed a change in the patient's humour within the previous nine years before being diagnosed with dementia. The changes included a darker sense of humour and laughing at tragic events in the news or their personal lives.

Dr Clark said: "These were marked changes ? completely inappropriate humour well beyond the realms of even distasteful humour. For example, one man laughed when his wife badly scalded herself".

Dr Simon Ridley, of Alzheimer's Research UK, said anyone concerned about changes in their behaviour should speak to their GP.

[Juvenile Bluster]

If that's true, Reason's about to become the internet's largest community for people with dementia.

[Just say Nikki]

Hahahahahahalololol

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

What do you mean, 'about'?

Who are you, anyway?

[Lord Humungus]

"Who am I? Why am I here?"

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

+1 You may ask yourself.

[invisible furry hand]

Well, how did I get here?

[straffinrun]

My god, what have you guys done?

[Lee G]

I know where I'm going.

[Spencer]

This is not my beautiful wife.

[Aloysious]

+1 Talking Heads

[fuckyougotmine]

I knew the psychopath-levels of empathy had to have some sort of biological source.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Man. I musta been suffering dementia for a looooonnnnnggg time then. Since at east 10 years-old.

[pogi chips for liberty]

So my entire life has just been a set-up for the onset of dementia?

Cue, "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life".

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

For some reason The Mighty Quinn hit me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qoyWU_EDDU

[Fist of Etiquette]

Another group of triumphant student protesters ousted a college administrator.

Time for administrators to protest?

[straffinrun]

Administrators probably joined the protest for their own ouster.

[Trigger Warning]

Only if they can keep their taxpayer-funded six-figure salaries.

[Illocust]

Maybe this rash of admins losing their job will convince these guys that promoting this type of environment isn't in their best interest. It's one thing to be leading the howling mob. It's an entirely different thing to be their victim.

[Hamster of Doom]

The tricky part about riding a tiger is getting off.

[commodious spittoon]

A proper tiger should have no trouble getting you off.

[Rasilio]

It's much easier to get off when riding an ass

[Fist of Etiquette]

Donald Trump: "How stupid are the people of Iowa?"

He's a straight talker!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

"David Hasselhoff is now officially David Hoth."

I'd rather kiss a Wookie.

[Swiss Servator]

"David Hasselhoff is now officially David Hoth."

Germany enters 3 day mourning period.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

I'd rather kiss a Wookie.

A fetish for the FLOTUS?

[R C Dean]

Google searches I will not make, at home, at work, even on Warty's computer:

Wookie Porn.

Obama Porn.

[Spencer]

but you've typed the words. you are in the database you will be the first to be drone stricken.

[Lord Humungus]

Obesity Rises Despite All Efforts to Fight It, U.S. Health Officials Say

Despite years of efforts to reduce obesity in America, including a major push by Michelle Obama, federal health officials reported Thursday that the share of Americans who were obese had not declined in recent years, and had edged up slightly.

About 38 percent of American adults were obese in 2013 and 2014, up from 35 percent in 2011 and 2012. Researchers said the increase was small enough that it was not statistically significant. But to many in public health, it was surprising and disheartening.

"The trend is very unfortunate and very disappointing," said Marion Nestle, a professor in the department of nutrition, food studies and public health at New York University. "Everybody was hoping that with the decline in sugar and soda consumption, that we'd start seeing a leveling off of adult obesity."

John not hardest hit.

[gaijin]

"Everybody was hoping that with the decline in sugar and soda consumption, that we'd start seeing a leveling off of adult obesity."

So, maybe the 'food science' was not settled? Shocking!

[Zeb]

Or diet isn't the main factor.

[gaijin]

Interestingly to your point, I read a story awhile ago about research showing that lab animals are also generally increasing their weight (which would be odd given the strict controls over their diets usually)...my bet is to blame it all on the viral/bacterial organisms that really run the show of life 😉

[Rasilio]

The ubuquity of air conditioning seems to play a role as well since your body burns quite a few excess calories just maintaining your body temperature when it is either too hot or too cold but spending 98% of your time in a 68 - 75 degree environment doesn't burn anything

[Zeb]

Maybe that's why I never gain weight. I don't do air conditioning and I keep my house pretty cool in the winter.

[ant1sthenes]

Global warming, man. CO2 slows metabolism, or something.

[Irish ?s ESB]

A huge part of the issue is sedentary lifestyle. I have a co-worker who was overweight and literally all he did was start running and he's lost like 60 lbs in a year and a half. He isn't on any special workout plan or anything, he just jogs every day after work for like 2 miles and that's enough to cause him to lose enormous amounts of weight in a relatively short period of time.

[The Last American Hero]

Bingo!!!! My grandpa worked at a tool and die shop - on his feet all day using a combination of hand and power tools, carrying parts around. His modern day counterpart sits at a computer working a CNC lathe. My grandmother's vacuum cleaner was made of steel and weighed about as much as a VW Beetle. Mine is made of plastic and self-propelled. How many calories would these same people, eating the same diet, burn off in today's world?

[Spencer]

I've read that fecal transplants have shows a causitive link between gut bacteria and obesity.

[Brett L]

In counter example, I have a friend who went from 275 to 195 in about 10 months by simple caloric restriction. It turns out that if a reasonably active individual eats less than 2000 calories 28 days out of 30, he can lose 8 lbs a month. But he was born again hard on the discipline. I wouldn't be able to do it, I don't think.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Right. You can do it by restricting diet if your diet sucks. There are multiple ways, but it's a mix of eating too much food (and often bad, processed food) while not working out.

[Crusty Juggler]

it's a mix of eating too much food (and often bad, processed food) while not working out.

To simplify it even more, it is eating way too much bad food and not being active in any way whatsoever.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

You're just trying to get us all to eat shit.

[Rhywun]

Or they need to nudge harder.

[R C Dean]

START RESISTING?

[Swiss Servator]

*opera applause*

[Illocust]

To lower obesity you'd have to start by convincing people to eat more meat and less veggies and grain. Make 'em full so they don't want to snack or eat another meal for a while.

[Restoras]

Maybe. More than anything you'd have to convince them to stop eating recreationally. If you eat more calories than you burn you get fat.

[The Last American Hero]

The Fedgov will never go for that. How stupid do you think the people of Iowa are?

[Slumbrew]

"The trend is very unfortunate and very disappointing," said Marion Nestle,...

Nestle?! Big Chocolate Double-agent!

[Brett L]

There was an interesting article recently about gut microbe differwnces in Western versus Third World people. The non-Western people have gut microbiomes that are far more effective at liberating nutrients from fiberous material than most Westerners. The fascinating part was that mice studies seem to indicate that loaing this diversity can be heritable. Now, there are a whole host of problems with applying that to humans. We don't live in labs, so we have a much greater chance of rediversifying our microbiomes, but it's possible that living too long on a diet with to many simple carbs makes it hard to get full nutrition on a more diverse diet.

[Suthenboy]

I am 5'10 and weigh 160. This hasn't changed in 30 years.

Two weeks ago I split and stacked two cords of wood. I will spend a few hours today swinging a machete before going to the lumber store and getting lumber to build new drawers for my dresser.

I eat whatever I want.

[Crusty Juggler]

swinging a machete

going to the lumber store

You Southern guys with your odd euphemisms.

[Bee Tagger]

Donald Trump: "How stupid are the people of Iowa?"

Hey, he didn't say anything bad about corn subsidies, he's fine.

[Just say Nikki]

Donald Trump: "How stupid are the people of Iowa?"

At this point, a valid question.

[gaijin]

Valid answers include:

"Why, the people of Iowa are so stupid that....[fill in the blank]"

...when someone moves from Omaha to DesMoines, the IQ of both states increases.

[AlmightyJB]

Funny:)

[AlmightyJB]

Maybe they're just on the rag?

[Swiss Servator]

+1 bleeding out of somewhere

[Lord Humungus]

Obama may reach the limit of his powers on Guant?namo

The White House has not ruled out executive action to empty the prison camp, now that Republicans in Congress are poised to reject a plan from the Defense Department for moving detainees to the United States.

But if Obama goes it alone, he would do so in defiance of laws passed by Congress that explicitly bar him from transferring Guant?namo detainees into the country.

The fate of an executive action would come down to the courts, where Republicans and the White House would likely do battle over the Article II powers that the Constitution grants to the commander in chief.

"The debate is, what does the Constitution say?" said Chris Edelson, an assistant professor of government at American University's School of Public Affairs.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

LOL. There is no limit to the power of the executive anymore.

[Mr Lizard]

"The debate is, what does the Constitution say?"

They seem very concerned all of the sudden

[BearOdinson]

Dude it was written like a hundred years ago by a bnch of rich old white guys. Who cares what it says!

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

LIVEENG DOKUMINT!!11!!!

[Atanarjuat]

hundred years ago by a bnch of rich old white guys

Wow, that's like -50 Privilege Points.

[R C Dean]

Its a mystery, isn't it? Perhaps if they made the text of the Constitution public, we could give it a look.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Well, there's the public Constitution, which is mostly just a ruse to keep us gullible saps in line, then the Secret Constitution that only Chief Justice Roberts, President Obama, and other goodful thinkers in the government get to see. That's the real one.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

"Students all over the country protested skyrocketing tuition rates as part of a "Million Student March.""

Jews are profiting off them?

Do these idiots even know why tuition is skyrocketing?

Not impressed with this bunch.

[Juvenile Bluster]

The Students for Justice in Palestine (CUNY chapters) were there blaming "Zionists" for everything.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

I know. They're sick, insane and ignorant.

[Rhywun]

Interesting how Reuters left that out. You know it happened everywhere.

[JeremyR]

Maybe they are angling to get a job at Reason like Sheldon Richman?

[Fist of Etiquette]

David Hasselhoff is now officially David Hoth.

David Lee Hoth? Is he hiding rebel scum? Is he The Hoth?

[pan fried wylie]

There isn't enough life in him to fill a space cruiser.

(in case nobody bothered to click the link, he changed it to Hoff, not Hoth. fucking StarWars clickbait)

[BigT]

Is changing your name a hassle?

[BearOdinson]

Just a gigolo?

[Lord Humungus]

A Solution to Microaggressions for Vox's Employees

Vox Media, the parent company of Ezra Klein's Vox and The Verge, among other web publications, posted its Code of Conduct standards online. The code has the standard "Don't be that person in the office" advice that most grown adults already understand when entering a work place. But there are a few perplexing instructions that fulfill even the worst PC-culture clich?s, signaling that perhaps irrational group think isn't limited to a few college campuses.

...

Elaborating on what constitutes a microaggression, the code goes on to describe "behavior or language which is unwelcoming" though it may not rise to the level of harassment. It specifically warns employees to avoid common terms like "Well actually," which it describes as a pedantic correction.

Never mind that Vox's entire business model of explanative journalism is built on pedantic corrections.

The document goes on to caution against "mansplaining" ? especially to women or people of color at Vox Media, many of whom, it's explained, may not have been included in opportunities to learn from colleagues in the past, but also have often been instructed too condescendingly by colleagues in the past.

[Illocust]

Wait, so mansplaining applies to color now? Way to prove the term just means don't correct my misconceptions about your motivations.

[straffinrun]

Speaking of "Well actually", where's Bo been?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Pro L?

[Swiss Servator]

I'd rather see Pro L.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Co-worker: How are you feeling today?
Me: Well, actually.

[Swiss Servator]

*gaze, narrowed, actually*

[Just say Nikki]

The "well, actually" hate bugs the shit out of me. I mean, why not just tell everyone, "please don't correct me, I like being wrong"?

[invisible furry hand]

I hate "Well, Actually" too, but then again I hate all shitty English rom-coms

[Crusty Juggler]

Well actually, all rom-coms are shitty unless they star Lake Bell.

[Idle Hands]

Lake Bell looks like a man. There I said it.

[Crusty Juggler]

Well actually (nsfw. sorry people with real jobs)

[Idle Hands]

a really handsome man with tits is still a man.

[OneOut]

+1 Cattlin Jenner

[lap83]

I liked "In a World", she's a pretty good director/screenwriter

[Crusty Juggler]

Exactly, that is the movie I was referring to. You are the only one on this board with any taste.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Well actually, she is in another rom-com that is released today, and it doesn't look too great.

[Zeb]

Seems to me that you are doing a disservice to someone if you don't correct them when they have some basic fact wrong. "Well, actually" seems like a pretty inoffensive way to start. Better than "bzzzt, WRONG".

[straffinrun]

Cliff Claven agrees.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

It's a little known fact...

[Just say Nikki]

Imma start from now on with, "Sorry, you dumb cunt, but..."

[AlmightyJB]

+ Jane you ignorant slut

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

I begin with an exasperated sigh, then say, "No, retard...."

[Crusty Juggler]

I like to put on a big show of shaking my head with a tight-lipped smile and then say "yeah, you're sooooooooo right." And then I roll my eyes.

[AlmightyJB]

I just take another drink of my beer, adjust my bar stool, and go back to pretending I'm interested in what's on the TV.

[GILMORE?]

""Well, actually" seems like a pretty inoffensive way to start. Better than "bzzzt, WRONG"."

...*reaaallly?*. Huh. (makes note = "Stop Going BZZZZZZZ WRONG!!!" All the time!"" p.p.s. Dancing also probably should be reconsidered")

[Slumbrew]

WRONG:!

[Slumbrew]

Dammit: http://www.nbc.com/saturday-ni.....roup/n9987

[GILMORE?]

I watched the mcLaughlin group every sunday with my dad. We both loved that sketch

[Slumbrew]

"Wrong! Special K with banana!"

[gaijin]

also, does this mean all those ads that say 'You won;t believe what happens next.." are unwelcoming speech...given the implication that you don't know your own mind. Will VOX propertiess forego advertising revenue from such hurtful ad netowrks?

[BearOdinson]

What are you stupid?!

[Lord Humungus]

a classic that I use daily

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

I had a professor that would say 'That's the correct answer to a different question.'

[AlmightyJB]

I like that:)

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

Of course it was an engineering class where the ability to arrive at the one correct answer was the purpose of the instruction. So despite the laughter, no offence was taken and no tears were shed in the dean's office.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

I've read some of the derptitude spouted by Vox, gender studies professors, and these idiotic protestors at Yale, and I do not think any of their statements are the correct answer to any question.

[Irish ?s ESB]

" may not have been included in opportunities to learn from colleagues in the past, but also have often been instructed too condescendingly by colleagues in the past."

You shouldn't explain things to women or non-whites because it's possible they've never had things explained to them before but it's also possible they've had things explained to them before.

Ummm....

[Jordan]

"If you see a woman or minority approaching, be sure to duck into your cube and avert your eyes until they have passed."

[AlmightyJB]

"If a woman or minority has an idea it's most likely not very good but just roll with it anyways. It will make them more confident when they are your next boss"

[Lee G]

From the references at the bottom of the COC

Christina Xu's essay on blowhard syndrome, the evil twin to impostor syndrome.

Which includes this absolutely marvelous observation about when the act of reassuring someone becomes an aggression:

Just to be clear, I'm not mad at anyone who has tried to reassure me by telling me I have impostor syndrome, and I recognize it as a real problem that lots of talented people struggle with. But I am furious at a world in which women and POC are being told to be as self-confident as a group of mostly white dudes who are basically delusional megalomaniacs. We're great the way we are, level-headed self-assessments and all. Stop rewarding them for being jackasses.

[Just say Nikki]

Not sure if you are 100% serious about "when the act of reassuring someone becomes an aggression," but she's not criticizing the reassurance itself, she's criticizing it as a symptom of the very idea that there is something wrong with her and other "sufferers of impostor syndrome" as opposed to there being a problem with people who don't have "impostor syndrome." She's trying to flip the whole script and say that the people who pathologize her and say she has a problem are, in fact, the ones with the problem.

I would say there isn't really a "right" or "wrong" about that except that both she and the "megalomaniacs" are looking for the same general outcomes (e.g., successful careers in Western society), and the megalomaniacs already have a successful strategy for getting there. Her strategy is unsuccessful, or at least less successful, but she doesn't want to change herself, she wants to change the game.

[Lee G]

I'm being sarcastic.

She's managing to brag while simultaneously playing the victim card and blaming a fictional third party.

[Swiss Servator]

Was that Worstsplaining?

[Crusty Juggler]

Yes, which is why I am in favor of banning Worstsplaining, because it's the worst.

Or at the very least she should be required to give me a trigger warning so that I can find refuge in my safe space, away from her Worstness.

[The Last American Hero]

So how's that employee mentoring program work? I guess I'd better hope my mentee is a white guy, since I don't want to be mansplaining things to women or minorities.

[Rhywun]

many of whom, it's explained, may not have been included in opportunities to learn from colleagues in the past

Translation: they've been coddled so long they can't take criticism.

[R C Dean]

may not have been included in opportunities to learn from colleagues in the past,

Could they possibly be more patronizing?

[Lee G]

They're trying

[SFC B]

Isn't VOX like 97% white?

[Bee Tagger]

risking the wrath of Warren and a fired-up liberal base that wields considerable power over the party.

Ah, the base, never more powerful than during the primaries and never more inept than the rest of the time.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

You should always measure from the base.

[Crusty Juggler]

I find that measuring from underneath gives a more generous result.

[Slumbrew]

Center of the anus to just past the tip.

[Lord Humungus]

+ 1.5 hand spans

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Base... of the spine.

[Lord Humungus]

Rubio, Cruz in fight to reshape their records on immigration

Republican presidential rivals Sens. Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz are backpedaling furiously as they try to outmaneuver each other on immigration.

Rubio co-wrote a massive 2013 immigration bill that passed the Senate. He disavows it now, but Cruz won't stop talking about it.

Cruz opposed the bill, but he offered amendments to massively increase legal immigration. Now he says that's not a good idea after all, but Rubio won't let him off the hook.

[BearOdinson]

According to Tingles Matthews, neither if these are hispanic so fuck their opinion.

[Bee Tagger]

Another group of triumphant student protesters ousted a college administrator

Are we going to have to start making movies about deans hating those crusty bitter students?

[Lord Humungus]

Woman takes 1st dip in ocean, is attacked by shark

Defying all mathematical probability, a woman in Florida was attacked by shark within minutes of wading into the ocean for the first time in her life.

Jill Kruse of Colorado Springs, Colo., who was vacationing with her family at Cocoa Beach, said she experienced a feeling of dread before she entered the water.

"I was excited but also nervous at the same time, almost like I knew something was going to go wrong," the 28-year-old Kruse told KDVR Fox 31.

Within 10 minutes, she felt something grab her leg followed by a sharp pain. A shark had clamped on her leg.

[Slammer]

First and last time.

[straffinrun]

Of course she was a Free Bleeder.

[Old Man With Candy]

Coincidentally, the first time I had sex, I encountered vagina dentata.

[Idle Hands]

IT DOES EXIST!!!!!

[lap83]

Is that why you prefer them when their teeth are more likely to be missing?

[Old Man With Candy]

That's Crusty Juggler, not me.

[lap83]

geez, it's like you've never even met a little kid

[Old Man With Candy]

Their problem is that they only seem to lose a few teeth at a time, and the permanent ones are already budding in. That can be uncomfortable.

[geo1113]

I guess I have impending dementia!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

It feels like the first time

[Slumbrew]

"I think I will probably go back in the water, but it will be a while. What are the chances of being bit twice, right?" she said.

This is the same reason I carry a bomb when I fly - 'cause what are the chances there are TWO bombs?

[Zeb]

Defying all mathematical probability

Not if you look at the probability of someone, somewhere getting attacked by a shark the first time she goes in the ocean.

[SugarFree]

Yes. Looks like the odds are 1-to-1.

[SusanM]

Is this ironic?

[Spartacus]

I grew up near Cocoa Beach, we used to surf there every weekend in high school. Never once bitten by a shark (but I did see some every now and then). She might have been near the pier, which has lots of people fishing. Saw a guy catch a hammerhead there once.

[Whahappan?]

"Grab it's motherfucking leg!"

[Bee Tagger]

David Hasselhoff is now officially David Hoth.

Some may like it Hoth, but the article says:
"David Hasselhoff claims he changed his name to David Hoff."

[Swiss Servator]

Star Wars oriented spellcheck/auto-correct?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Hoth is the ice planet; Hoff is the drunken cheeseburger planet.

[Slammer]

Emory university protests and demand list:

"I think this is such a defining moment in history," said College junior Serwaa Osei-Danquah, who participated in the event. "It's now. This is the revolution, and its time that we took over as the young people of the world, as the future leaders of the world. We are the future, and we're about to make a change, whether people like it or not."

-recognition of traumatic events for black students by the University
-institutional support for black students facing trauma on campus
-repercussions or sanctions for racist actions on campus
-the consultation of black students and faculty during the implementation of diversity initiatives
-higher compensation and positions for black staff and administrator
-tighter job security for black administrators
-increased funding and decreased policing for black student organizations
-more faculty of color in all departments

[Drake]

Why not just stop accepting white students?

[straffinrun]

Emory without Ivory. Sounds catchy.

[invisible furry hand]

Oh straffinrun, you evil son of a bitch, that's now stuck in my head. I need some emergency metal to cleanse my brain

[Restoras]

Try this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qeiv-I19kZU

[straffinrun]

Living up to your handle, Restoras.

[BearOdinson]

+1 Michael Jackson
-1 Paul McCartney

[Monty Crisco]

Yo, straffinrun, you following the kyushu basho?

[straffinrun]

Not much. Kind of laid off the Sumo after Asashoryu's run ended. Hakuho is awesome though.

[Monty Crisco]

Word up on that, my brotha...

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judge by the color of their skin, but highly compensated for it. And given special protections! Oooh, and can claim that any disagreement with their skewed world view is a traumatic assault on their very existence. Yeah, that's my dream!!! Yeah!

[Monty Crisco]

These black students sure have gotten awful UPPITY lately, amirite?!?!

[Rhywun]

This is the revolution, and its time that we took over as the young people of the world, as the future leaders of the world. We are the future, and we're about to make a change, whether people like it or not.

This "revolution" stuff is so boilerplate. Can't they just skip ahead to smashing the system and the labor camps already?

[Spartacus]

They could get all that just by transferring to Spelman.

[Lord Humungus]

Time for GOP panic? Establishment worried Carson or Trump might win

According to other Republicans, some in the party establishment are so desperate to change the dynamic that they are talking anew about drafting Romney ? despite his insistence that he will not run again. Friends have mapped out a strategy for a late entry to pick up delegates and vie for the nomination in a convention fight, according to the Republicans who were briefed on the talks, though Romney has shown no indication of reviving his interest.

For months, the GOP professional class assumed Trump and Carson would fizzle with time. Voters would get serious, the thinking went, after seeing the outsiders share a stage with more experienced politicians at the first debate. Or when summer turned to fall, kids went back to school and parents had time to assess the candidates. Or after the second, third or fourth debates, certainly.

ROMNEYYYYYYYYY /Shatner voice

[Illocust]

So the establishment is figuring out that you can't just foist whoever you want off on the voters forever. Eventually the voters are going to go their own way even if their own way sucks.

[BearOdinson]

I am probably in the minority here, but Romney would be better than everyone running (other than Rand Paul obviously, and maybe Ted Cruz)

[BearOdinson]

BTW i dont mean in an electoral sense. I mean as a better president.

[tarran]

So, you're saying that a guy who imposed Romneycare on MA and got the ball rolling for Obamacare, a guy who did these as an vanity project inspired by an off the cuff comment by a friend, a guy who bulled on with the insanity to give himself a legacy(!) is better than the current crop of candidates?!?

Thanks for making my stomach churn.

[R C Dean]

Probably a better administrator. So, make him chief of staff.

As far as policy goes? Hell, no. I don't think much could be worse than a Repub gently pressing the accelerator on every single frickin' crony proposal barfed up by Congress and K Street, and that's what Romney would be.

[Idle Hands]

I thought that Citizens United put a stop to all this.

[Palin's Buttplug]

The stupidity of the GOP base knows no limit.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

As compared to your own stupidity?

[Suthenboy]

Once again shreeeeeeek gets it exactly wrong. I am stunned.

[JPyrate]

PB you disgusting little primate !!!

/WHACK

Stop that !!!

Stop eating your own poo !!!

[Suthenboy]

All of you who say peak derp can never be reached....think again.

[Lord Humungus]

Awww... thanks, mom

Senior Stashed Drug-Filled Kinder Egg In Vagina For Jailed Son

A Spanish senior tried to smuggle drugs to her jailed son - by stashing them inside a Kinder Surprise's plastic casing, which she then hid in her vagina.

The 73-year-old retiree, who has not been named, was busted as she passed through security at Fontcalent prison in Alicante.

She was standing in line waiting to be frisked when she became anxious and decided to remove the package, reports ABC.

It was handed over to guards and found to contain small doses of cocaine and heroin, some tranquilizer pills and 20 Euros (around $21) in cash.

[invisible furry hand]

She was standing in line waiting to be frisked when she became anxious and decided to remove the package, reports ABC.

It's hardly sporting to make it that easy for the guards

[Lord Humungus]

Rogue Emu Causes School Lockdowns During 2 Months On The Run

An emu on the run for more than 60 days has prompted lockdowns at two elementary schools in Delaware.

The runaway emu was spotted Monday near Spring Meadow Elementary School and Old State Elementary School, leading to a "soft lockdown" at both schools. Officials sent a letter alerting parents and saying students remained inside while normal activity continued.

Delaware Department of Agriculture spokesman Daniel Shortridge says no one is sure who owns the bird. Over the last week, authorities have received a growing number of calls from people who have spotted the bird or come close to hitting it.

[BearOdinson]

I hope we never fucking get in a war with Australia. Those blokes live with the deadliest animals in tge workd and our kids are being locked down against a fucking flightless bird.

[R C Dean]

+ 1 12 Gauge.

[Suthenboy]

And one gallon of BBQ sauce.

[Tonio]

Don't know about emus, but ostritches can kick the shit out of you. As in spleen-rupturing strength kick. Those suckers are big.

[Lord Humungus]

Planned Parenthood Paid $3 for Birth Control but Billed Medicaid $35, Former Manager Says

A little-known whistleblower lawsuit accuses Planned Parenthood clinics in Iowa of wrongly siphoning millions of American taxpayer dollars with a series of complicated billing schemes aimed at increasing profits.

Among other dishonest practices, a former manager of the clinics alleges, Planned Parenthood staffers routinely purchased birth control pills for just under $3, billed Medicaid $35 for the same package of pills, and got reimbursed for $26.

The lawsuit, brought by Sue Thayer, a 17-year employee of Planned Parenthood in Iowa, coincides with a national scandal over undercover videos that show the organization's officials in other states talking about the sale of body parts from aborted babies.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

MOAR WOMYNZ HELTH!!!!111!!!!

[Zeb]

Isn't that sort of how most medical billing works now?

[Griffin3]

Yes. And the money is used to pay the $35 dollars worth of service you provided for free, because Florida Medicaid couldn't be bothered to keep it's records updated.

[The Last American Hero]

So when they say that a small percentage of their revenues are derived from providing abortions, they are correct.

[Swiss Servator]

"Our fraud income is substantial!"

[lap83]

a series of complicated billing schemes aimed at increasing profits.

So liberals are going to start hating PP for acting all corporation-y, right?

[Lord Humungus]

European shares hammered after commodity rout

The FTSEurofirst 300 .FTEU3 fell 1 percent, down 2.9 percent for the week and set for its biggest weekly loss in ten.

Basic resources stocks .SXPP were down more than 5.9 percent this week, with energy shares down 4.8 percent over the same period.

"The markets are alarmed that there have been further sharp falls in commodity prices," Russ Mould, investment director at AJ Bell, said in a note.

"There is increasing evidence that global growth is slowing and investor confidence has been hit as a result."

[Lee G]

There's only so much cheap debt that can be absorbed.

[Brett L]

"Shut up and keep throwing money at it, sez BlackRock. I'm watching the oil contango right now and the guys holding the six month contracts are gonna get fucked. I'm sure that Shell and Exxon are grateful for the added storage capacity, but demand isn't expanding in March. They've built at least two storage facilities that just happen to be on my drive to work in a he last year.

[sarcasmic]

'You're never too old to rock!' Canadian grandma joins her son's grindcore band and spends her nights belting out abrasive tunes as 'The Grindmother'

The adorable senior citizen first began doing back-up vocals for her son's band, Corrupt Leaders, last year
She has now released her own single, At Any Cost, along with a music video which sees her head-banging and screaming into the mic
Ozzy Osbourne caught wind of her video and tweeted it to his followers

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem.....other.html
Check this out. Nice old lady knows how to scream.

[Old Man With Candy]

My wife, who is grandma age, is now screaming lead vocals in my new band, Poop Swastika. We'll be playing at The Delilah's in Chicago next week. Tell your friends.

[Crusty Juggler]

My wife, who is grandma age

Pics?

[Old Man With Candy]

Email me if you're curious. Unfortunately for your kink, she still has all her teeth.

[BearOdinson]

In her vagina?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

FLAGGED! You just violated my SAFE SPACE!

[Crusty Juggler]

Do you know who else violated a safe space?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

You?

[Atanarjuat]

Does a M?decins Sans Fronti?res hospital count as a safe place?

[Old Man With Candy]

In her vagina?

No, she's not Jewish.

[Person of Pallor]

Tell me her stage name is Eva Brown Note.

[gaijin]

'Her son, Rain Forest...'

Awww.

[sarcasmic]

True story: I went to high school with a nice young lady named Nancy Cutter. Her brother's name was Forest.

[BigT]

And Uncle Richard, the mohel.

[gaijin]

'Her son, Rain Forest...'

Awww.

[Slammer]

VEKTOR. 'Bout time.

[Lord Humungus]

The real issue at Mizzou and Yale isn't free speech. It's social equality.

But the project of cultural transformation is still very much with us. In Missouri, we had an institution that was not trying. In Yale, we had an institution that was trying. (Notably, Yale tried by doing just what is demanded by a respect for free speech: not issuing requirements but asking questions.) Both have storms on campus.

How do you transform communities and environments that were developed to resonate with the aesthetic tastes and ways of life of one demographic group when they are meant to be homes equally welcoming to all? How do you adjust social habits that have flowed out of long traditions of hierarchy to perform nobly at the table of brotherhood?

The seriousness of these questions is real, and it is reasonable and necessary for the institutions of civil society to address them. I think that in all of this controversy we have missed the biggest story of all: Missouri graduate student Jonathan Butler starved himself for a week in pursuit of social equality. His action accurately measures the significance of the goal.

Yeah when I think of Yale, I think of social inequality

[tarran]

The seriousness of these questions is real,

Danielle Allen is a political theorist at Harvard University and a contributing columnist for The Post.

An my fiance wonders why I absolutely refuse to consider sending my kids to a fourth rate school like Harvard.

[Rhywun]

What the hell is that word salad in the middle supposed to mean? White people like "hierarchy" but everyone else just can't even? I hate to burst their bubble but the world doesn't work that way.

[Suthenboy]

Bunch of goddamned titty suckers.

[Crusty Juggler]

Secret Service Employee Arrested in Teen Sexting Bust

Moore worked in the White House and, as first reported by CNN, allegedly sent lewd photographs of himself, requesting sexual contact, and meetups with the agent posing as a minor.

"What would make you more nervous: Riding on a motorcycle with me or having sex with me?" one of the texts allegedly read. "I would take immense pleasure in pulling those shorts off your hips and down your cute little legs," read another.

I'm going with riding on a motorcycle.

[Lord Humungus]

Judging Roberts
The Chief Justice of the United States, ten years in

This is no easy question, especially because Roberts eschews any particular judicial methodology against which his work might be measured. His conservative brethren share at least some commitment to "originalism" or "textualism," a methodology focused on ascertaining the original meaning of the Constitution and other laws. Granted, justices Antonin Scalia, Clarence Thomas, and Samuel Alito differ in the extent to which they temper originalist theory with prudential judgment, such as considerations of legislative history and judicial precedent. Justice Thomas is the Court's purest and most reliable originalist. Justice Scalia has long drawn at least a slight contrast with Thomas, calling himself a "fainthearted originalist." And Justice Alito, open to still more methodological flexibility, once told the American Spectator that he considers himself "a practical originalist." But by placing themselves on that spectrum, the three justices provide at least one frame of reference for evaluating their work, a common starting point from which to discuss their own particular nuances.

I'll go for piece of shit

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

"Cowardly hack" is my preferred description

[Suthenboy]

^This.

[BearOdinson]

Thomas: almost a strict constructionist, the closest we will ever have to a libertarian justice-- Neutral Good

Scalia: brilliant command of language, at times leans conservatarian except WODs and porn-- Lawful Good

Alito: a not particularly bright run of the mill conservative-- Lawful Neutral

Roberts: judicial temperament of Harvey Dent, loves him some cocktail parties. -- Chaotic Neutral

Anthony Kennedy: He is carried with the wind. True Neutrak like any other fungal spore

Elena Kagan: the mirror image of Scalia occasionally good on personal issues, prays to the regulatory state
--Neutral Evil

Sonya Sotomayor: when she gets bored coloring and playing with her easy bake oven, gets the 4th Amendment right. But then she has to drink her milk and nappy time. -- Neutral evil

Ruth Bader Ginsberg: the Joker-- Chaotic Evil

[BearOdinson]

Stephen Beyer: He is nothing more than a Democratic party wind up toy. He doesnt actually have an alignment since robots are not autonomous (yet).

[BearOdinson]

Change Kagan to Lawful Evil. I guess this isnt tge "mirror image" to Scalia, but she is kind of like Spock with a beard.

[Aloysious]

Finally the nazgul referred to in terms I can identify with. Quite the pantheon.

[Moridin]

You need to copyright this... or something.

lmao Great descriptions. I love it.

[R C Dean]

especially because Roberts eschews any particular judicial methodology against which his work might be measured.

Isn't this just a very nice way of saying that Roberts is unprincipled?

[BigT]

"Roberts eschews any particular judicial methodology"

I.e. Random number generator

[Crusty Juggler]

College 'Safe Space' Boos an Asian Woman For Declaring 'Black People Can Be Racist

I came to this country five years ago when I was fifteen, alone, through a boarding school in Pennsylvania," the Asian student began. "And all I heard is, 'if you don't speak English, go home.' 'If you don't speak good English, go home.' 'I don't date Asians,' and 'I'd like to have sex with a girl from all the continents that's why I want to date you.'"

"The point I'm making here is that we should not distinguish people by their race or gender or anything. Black people can be racist," she declared, at which point a black woman holding a sign that reads "It's too late to say sorry" approached her.

[Crusty Juggler]

The two people I know who tried to play "around the world" were women, and I believe they came close. Those Antarctic men must be stingy or something.

[Swiss Servator]

I knew a very slick,very handsome guy from Miami who we ended up calling "World Conqueror"...one of his apartment mates finally dragged out an old Rand McNally world map, put it up on the wall and started sticking pins in for each "location" - by the end of the year, it was....formidable.

Dude is now a successful eye surgeon and doting father. Go figure.

[Slammer]

Rand Paul?

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

He said 'very slick'.

[The Last American Hero]

Fucking dumb game created by Australians to benefit Australians disproportionately. Don't play it.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

I think all the men from Antarctica are penguins.

[Slumbrew]

Penguins ain't natural, they was chemically man-made like The Incredible Hulk.

[Slumbrew]

Aaand my sub-productive Friday continues: http://videosift.com/video/Let.....keys-do-it

[Rhywun]

And all I heard is ...

I wonder how many of these things are completely made up.

Well, at least she's getting a lesson in how this stuff really works in America.

[Suthenboy]

"It's too late to say sorry"

Well, I'm not. I didn't do it.

[Irish ?s ESB]

"Donald Trump: "How stupid are the people of Iowa?""

Robby, he pantomimed Ben Carson stabbing him in the belt buckle, compared Carson to a pathological child molester, and I'm also pretty sure he implied Carson is a "nigger."*

The comment about Iowa is like the least bad part of that speech.

*specifically he said "Ben Carson is an enigma to me. No, I didn't say it!" I don't know how to interpret that other than him referencing the word nigger. If anyone has another idea about what he meant, I'm all ears.

[Just say Nikki]

WHAT stop

[Irish ?s ESB]

The child molester comment has to be seen to be believed. It's glorious.

[Just say Nikki]

The child molester thing I actually heard about. But not the enigma.

[Old Man With Candy]

I'm failing to see the problem.

[lap83]

Sounds more like a clumsy joke about how similar the words are

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Yeah, it's just bad wordplay with the similar sounds. It'd be like if he accused Carson's tax plan of being niggardly

[Irish ?s ESB]

Call me old fashioned, but it's a little uncouth to use 'clumsy wordplay' about the word 'nigger' when talking about a black presidential candidate.

Maybe that's just me.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Meh. Trump's whole schtick is getting people worked up over outlandish shit he says. I'm not taking the bait

[Just say Nikki]

It's not uncouth. Some things really are dog whistles. There's only one reason you do this, and it's because you think your audience is going to think it's cute to "kind of" call him the n word.

[Bern-o-Matic 5000]

Yeah, I guess my real point is that it's Trump so I don't fucking care.

[lap83]

Honestly, if he was a secret closet racist it would be out of character for him to be so subtle about it.

[lap83]

The "Iowans are stupid" comment is a more characteristic Trump insult. He likes people to be sure when he's insulting them.

[R C Dean]

The thing is, describing Carson as an enigma is a fair cop.

[Idle Hands]

Hey that's our future president your talking about.

[Agammamon]

Jihadi John, the infamous ISIS executioner, was killed in a U.S. drone strike.

Sure, sure. Except we have this nasty habit of shooting. the. wrong. person. two or three times until we finally get the right one.

[Lord Humungus]

Here Are 20 Examples of Cissexism That We've Probably All Committed at Some Point

1. Believing That XX and XY Actually Mean Something

Boom. Let's start with one of my favorites, if only because it tends to ignite passions the fastest.

Now, to be fair, XX and XY chromosome pairs do mean something: a general idea of future conditions a person may or may not develop that are directly due to those chromosomal pairings.

They do not, however, concretely stand for any of the following: indicating a person's intelligence, physical abilities, sexual orientation, development during puberty, appearance or make of genitals, or what level of bodily production of which sex hormones.

n short, XY does not indicate a biological man and XX does not indicate a biological woman.

Why not?

We simply have too many examples of when any of the above was untrue.

etc etc

[Irish ?s ESB]

"They do not, however, concretely stand for any of the following: indicating a person's intelligence, physical abilities, sexual orientation, development during puberty, appearance or make of genitals, or what level of bodily production of which sex hormones."

^^ This is what science denial looks like. Your chromosomal pair has nothing to do with your physical abilities. That explains why so many people with XX chromosomes are in the NBA.

[geo1113]

But from the looks of it, there could be a couple XYs in the WNBA.

[The Last American Hero]

So sexual orientation is a choice now? The author had better be careful. Many on her side have been arguing genetics for the last century.

[Just say Nikki]

"Choice" and "genetics" aren't the only two options.

And "determined by presence of XX vs. XY" was really never what anyone thought determined homosexuality, was it?

[R C Dean]

They certainly "indicate" (I think, not sure exactly what is meant in context, if anything, by this word) physical abilities, development during puberty, appearance or make of genitals, and hormone production.

Now, with surgery, drugs, and hormones, all of that can be altered to one degree. Maybe that's what this half-wit was trying to get at. Hard to say - that really is authentic academic gibberish.

[Free Society]

this is like that already terrible "don't label me, all labels are meaningless" argument taken to the absurd.

[Zeb]

I often argue with people who think that pointing out that sex chromosomes are a thing is a slam dunk argument proving that transgenderism is just a lie or somthing. But this is just nuts. Yes, there are outliers, but in the vast majority of cases, it does determine your sex/gender.

[Irish ?s ESB]

And it always determines physical capability. People with XY chromosomes, on average, are far stronger than people w/ XX chromosomes.

[Just say Nikki]

"On average" means "not always."

[BearOdinson]

The strongest XY will always be stronger than the strongest XX. The weakest XX will slways be weaker then the weakest XY. And the average XY will always be stronger than the strongest XX. No one says each individual.
XX abd XY are pretty much the most important factors to determining physical characteristics.
These people are turning 200 years of biological science on its head. Mammals are sexually dimorphic. We are not frogs. Are there anomalies? Of course. And far be it from me to try to force a person to not do whatever they want ro their physical body, hormonal profile or whatever. But honestly, if i want to become a carpenter, nail myself to a cross and start speaking Aramaic, it doesnt make me Jesus.

[Zeb]

The strongest XY will always be stronger than the strongest XX.

Almost certainly.

The weakest XX will always be weaker then the weakest XY.

Not so sure. But if you are talking healthy adults, probably.

The really silly thing here, I think, is that we can already tell, in the vast majority of cases who is male or female and could long before anyone figured out genetic sex determination. It's not even turning science on its head. It's denying a simple fact about human existence that has been obvious for all of human existence. The fact that there are real examples of people who don't quite fit into the usual sex categories does not change this.

[Irish ?s ESB]

Except the reason its "not always" is because of factors unrelated to the chromosomal pair. If I had XX chromosomes but were otherwise genetically identical, had been born to the same family, ate the same diet, and worked out to an equal degree I work out now, I would be weaker than I am. So if you control for other variables, XY chromosomes do mean you'll always be stronger.

Yes Ronda Rousey could kick the shit out of the overwhelming majority of men. That doesn't change the fact that if Rousey had been born with XY chromosomes she'd be even more physically capable than she is. XX chromosomes put a ceiling on your physical potential which is lower than if you'd been born a man.

[JeremyR]

I don't think she could. She's simply not all that big, like what, 5'5 and 150 lbs? The average male would have 6 inches and probably 35 lbs on her.

[Lee G]

development during puberty, appearance or make of genitals

I see. My genetics do not determine my actual physical characteristics.

*throws away poster of Gregor Mendel*

[Zeb]

Well, it is a bit more complicated than just the genes in the DNA. And there are plenty of odd developmental things that happen. But it's just insane to pretend that it doesn't work in the conventionally understood way in 99% of cases.

[The Last American Hero]

Ronda Rousey trains on martial arts 14 hours a day and can bench marginally more than the average couch potato dude that watches her fight on TV disproves the author's point.

[Lee G]

Total incidence of actual XX male and XY female syndrome is about 5 per 100,000.

[Zeb]

OK, 99.995% of cases. Then there are the odd cases that aren't purely XX/XY.

[bacon-magic]

He's a monk so he must be wrong...

[Old Man With Candy]

1. Believing That XX and XY Actually Mean Something

How silly. We can function perfectly well without those awful chromosomes in our nuclei.

[Zeb]

Strictly speaking, they don't mean something, they do something.

[Griffin3]

I am stupider for having read this article.

[Suthenboy]

Behold the useful idiot.

No matter what information you put in you get gibberishy argle barge out.

[Free Society]

Another group of triumphant student protesters ousted a college administrator.

This is going to be like the Arab Spring for college campuses.

[R C Dean]

- 1 butchered administrator.

[Agile Cyborg]

Fucking suited cunt, Warren. This authority twitching bitch wears a strap-on lined with razors and middle-fingers from the federal government and rapes the butthole of American banks into blood pudding while the goddamn bamboo barbarians stare with stone-faced glee through communist slits stapled cheaply below their rigid foreheads.

[Free Society]

such poetry

[Slumbrew]

AC is apparently hitting the... everything early. What is it, 7:30am there?

[Crusty Juggler]

You start "early" when you work nights. Gosh.

[Slumbrew]

Now that I think on it, with AC it's more likely "up late" vs. "starting early". Dude's got stamina.

[Suthenboy]

Would someone please collect all of AG's posts and publish them? I would pay good money for that.

[Notorious UGCC]

"David Hasselhoff is now officially David Hoth [sic, actually Hoff]."

Now I feel less guilty referring to Soave as Rico Suave.

[Notorious UGCC]

But of course Hoth is cool.

(see what I did there?)

[Mike M.]

"You have failed me for the last time."

[Notorious UGCC]

So he changed his name to Hoff because he didn't like the Hassel?

[sarcasmic]

He actually said that in so many words.

[Notorious UGCC]

Clever devil, I should have known he'd be a step ahead of me.

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Cool story. Imagine you're a teenager in a part of France still filled with lost relics from The Great War looking for lost war treasures and you discover eight Canadian soldiers:

http://givemeliberty01.com/201.....d-to-rest/

The story is now a documentary.

[Notorious UGCC]

For a second there I thought they meant *living* Canadian soldiers who didn't know the war was over.

"Doo-do-do-doo-do-do-do-do"

"Hello and welcome again to another episode of This is Your War, Canada. We're filming them in this trench, and when our commanding officer comes by we'll ask if the Army can send it back home to boost morale, eh?"

"OK, so today's episode is All Quiet on the Western Front."

"It's *always* quiet on the Western front nowadays, eh?"

"Take off, hoser, what about all those aeroplanes we keep hearing flying over us? And those automobiles rushing past? You're telling me those aren't enemy vehicles?"

"Well, whatever they are, we never get bombed, eh?"

"Speak for yourself, hoser, I'm gonna have this keg of Molson's and I'll be as bombed as Verdun."

"If they catch you drinking on the job they'll shoot you for dereliction of duty, hoser."

"Yeah, but I'll be too wasted to notice - hey, it's a bunch of Krauts getting into our trench!"

"Too bad our guns are all rusted out by now."

"We're not Krauts, we are ze local teenagers. You don't still think the war is going on, do you?"

"You mean we're at peace? Well, are the Germans running Europe now?"

"Pretty much."

"Hear that, hoser? If you hadn't been sitting around drinking Molson's we could have fought the Krauts and stopped this madness."

[BearOdinson]

That and you forgot your tuque!

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Mediterraneo. Great movie.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102426/

About an Italian army unit sent to Greece only to be forgotten.

[Notorious UGCC]

Hey, I think I saw that one!

Is that the one where [SPOILER ALERT] one of the Italian soldiers stays behind to run a bar and marry a local girl?

[Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer]

Kinda.

[Lord Humungus]

Timeout for Notorious UGCC for making too many Hoff refernces

[Lord Humungus]

*references

[Notorious UGCC]

Hey, at least I didn't use the Hoth jokes as an excuse to post this.

[Lord Humungus]

Government adds record $339 billion to debt in first day after budget deal

The federal government has piled up debt since the latest budget deal was signed into law, tacking $462 billion onto the national credit card since Nov. 2 as the Treasury Department replenished its funds and began another round of borrowing to take it all the way into 2017.

A staggering $339 billion in total debt was added on just the first day after President Obama signed the budget agreement ? the single largest hike in history.

The debt has continued to rise, albeit more slowly, in the days since, putting the president on track to come close to the $20 trillion mark by the time he leaves office in January 2017.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

The plug assured me that his God-Emporer was fiscally prudent and not growing the deficit.

This obviously a VRWC.

[R C Dean]

I look forward to plugs citing FY 2015 as an example of fiscal responsibility, apparently because cooking the books to push your massive borrowing into the next reporting period is like, 8th dimension financial chess or something.

Rather than the kind of thing that lots of people have gone to jail for, out in the real world.

[commodious spittoon]

But BOOOOOOOSH and the stimulus and all that.

[Vampire]

"Students all over the country protested skyrocketing tuition rates as part of a "Million Student March."

Guess they never learned the reasons why college is so expensive. They just want their free shit at the expense of others.

If they don't care to look at why college is so expensive, and push for a free market in education, screw them, their slaver mentality, and their debt.

[AlmightyJB]

Library cards are free

[Free Society]

Here is an index tool from google that lets you search for word trends over time in books spanning from about 1800 to 2000. For example, if you type in Hitler, you'll see there was some other guy(s) named Hitler that was trending in the early 1800s before Hitler Hitler broke out onto the scene with his first hit single in 1933.

https://books.google.com/ngrams

[straffinrun]

Tried Bernie Sanders and it gave me a hockey stick graph. Really.

[Griffin3]

try "climate,warming,cooling"

[Free Society]

Holy shit, the hockey stick showing the number of mentions of global warming is scarier than the more famous climate hockey stick.

[KerryW]

If you run it out to 2008 (the latest date available, apparently), it's even worse.

Try checking "microaggression" -- the first time it shows its ugly head is 1978.

[KerryW]

If you try "johnson,hitler", they both peak in 1965...

[Mindyourbusiness]

Want to see something truly sad? try "liberty".

[CPRM]

Is there a way to find the books? Because it would be interesting to see why "Obama" spikes in 1911

[CPRM]

ah, looking through Google Books, it seems there were travel books about Japan, where there is apparently a town named Obama.

[JeremyR]

Speaking of Hitler, try eugenics, which in many ways was the climate change of its time, one of those things that the government just had to solve (and unfortunately, did).

[R C Dean]

Very interesting article about California, and how its hostile business climate is hollowing out the state:

http://www.nationalreview.com/.....rnia-texas

It has facts and everything!

Although, as a former Texas lawyer, I find the notion that Texas is a laissez-faire paradise to be worth a chuckle. Texas has assloads of laws and regs and bureaucracies. If the costs of doing business in CA are really 30% higher, well, the mind boggles.

[Irish ?s ESB]

The Texas Supreme Court had to strike down a law requiring 750 hours to get a fucking eyebrow threading license.

That's 31.25 full days of classes in order to get authorization to pluck peoples' hair out using threads. If Texas were as free market as its proponents claim it to be, that law never would have existed in order to be struck down on due process grounds.

[Notorious UGCC]

In New York, the high court would have upheld it.

[R C Dean]

Exactly. That's how low the bar is for being "business friendly" these days.

[Free Society]

If Texas were as free market as its proponents claim it to be, that law never would have existed in order to be struck down on due process grounds.

That's precisely the case of statutory law everywhere. If rule by group decree were so conducive to a free society, laws that are antithetical to justice would be struck down before they were born.

[AlmightyJB]

Was there some horrible eyebrow threading massacre that prompted that?

[Mike M.]

Remember when the left loved small farmers? Where is John Mellancamp and his ilk when you really need them?

[Atanarjuat]

As The Economist describes:

Then there is the California Environmental Quality Act (CEQA). A well-intentioned law to curb the damaging effects of development has mutated into a monster. Almost anyone can file a CEQA lawsuit against any project they dislike; plaintiffs win half of the cases they enter, and when they lose, they do not need to cover defendants' legal fees (the reverse does not apply). Builders are compelled to hire expensive unionised labour to ward off union bosses' threats of spurious CEQA suits. Shops and petrol stations file cases to prevent competitors from opening up.

If only someone had made an Iron Law describing this phenomenon.

[widget]

If the costs of doing business in CA are really 30% higher...

CA State income tax is 10%, Texas State income tax is 0%. That explains a third of it. That's not a business tax, per se, but it is a cost on earned money. CA has an $800/year entry fee for keeping a corporation alive. I'm not sure what TX charges, but most states are in the $0 to $100 range. CA has an assortment of base fees related to workers comp and other insurance prerequisites. I have no full-time employees but get dinged for $350/year to finance the prevailing wage bureaucracy, the same amount Google pays. CA has a sales tax scheme that would constipate Einstein. There's an opportunity cost in dealing with that for 3 or 4 hours every fiscal quarter. It's a lot of little things.

[KerryW]

To be fair, to make a proper comparison you really need to count the businesses leaving Texas. I'm sure it's not as much (even as a % of the total economy), but otherwise someone could argue it's just the normal amount of businesses moving from one place to another for any number of reasons.

[Mike M.]

How many "Jihad Johnnys" are there anyway? It seems like at least three or four now. It's the new "Tokyo Rose".

[Diane Reynolds (Paul.)]

The First Amendment Is Dying: Congress shall make no law, but... By David Harsanyi

404, page not found. Censorship indeed.

[AlmightyJB]

That's why I never accept free rides when I've already paid. And I always take good advice.