From My Cold, Dead Hands


Credit: whitneyinchicago / photo on flickr

A Michigan woman has been fined more than $2,000 for attempting to take a jar of apple butter onto an airplane. Mary Hostein says a Transportation Security Administration screener blocked her from boarding a plane after the jar was discovered in her carry-on luggage. She tried to go through another line and was stopped again and forced to leave the jar behind.

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  1. On the plus side she likely won’t have to go through this again as she’s no doubt now on the no-fly list.

  2. I didn’t know you could make a bomb out of apples…who knew

    1. Assuming that the apple butter was made out of normal matter, the apple butter is EXTREMELY dangerous… All you’d have to do, is to combine it with an equal mass of anti-matter, and you’d be able to vaporize the entire aircraft!

      (I hope that the feds will not subpoena my real name from “Reason” for my treasonous act in pointing out this nasty terrorist possibility, to the public, here… Maybe I should be helping to keep this all a secret. On 2nd thought… All ye Reasonoids, PLEASE help me keep this TOP SECRET!!! The more of us Reasonoids are aware of it, the more secret we can keep it, is my intent).

      1. This is truly terrifying! Does anyone know if the TSA has a policy in place on anti-matter screening?

  3. Tickets for the security theater can be expensive.

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