Obama Considering Expanding Gun Background Checks, 128 People Killed in Twin Suicide Blast in Turkey, Iran Test Fires Long-Range Missile: A.M. Links

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  • euronews

    President Obama said the use by Hillary Clinton of a private e-mail server while she was his secretary of state was a "mistake" but that it didn't "endanger national security."

  • The president is also reportedly considering expanding background checks for gun purchases by changing federal definitions and bypassing Congress.
  • A twin bombing at a pro-Kurdish peace rally in Turkey on Saturday killed up to 128 people. The government suspects ISIS and says elections will continue as scheduled, while police clashed with protesters opposing Turkey's military campaign against Kurdish separatists.
  • State media in Iran report the country successfully test-fired a long-range ballistic missile.
  • Russian President Vladimir Putin says his country's military campaign in Syria is aimed at stabilizing the Assad government.
  • A new law in California prohibits public schools from using "Redskins" as a team name. Four high schools in the state will have to change their names by 2017.

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  1. State media in Iran report the country successfully test-fired a long-range ballistic missile.

    I wonder if Israel noticed.

    1. Nah, Teh Lightworker’s aura will keep them safe!

    2. Why would they care, I’m sure it’s just a baby formula delivery system.

    3. Bibi’s war boner is at half mast no doubt.

      1. Perhaps Obumbles can start a kinetic action against iran.

        1. +1 Leading from behind (Putin).

      2. Yeah, because the Israelis have absolutely nothing to fear from an Iran with ballistic missiles.

    4. Moscow did. 1700 km is just about the range between NW Iran and Moscow. Also, as I see it, the major innovation demonstrated for this missile is that it has a MaRV. The main reason for putting a MaRV on something is to get the payload past an ABM system, and one of the biggest ABM systems in the world is the one guarding Moscow.

      750 kg payload for the Emad is enough to carry a 1 Mt warhead. I think I’m being conservative too, given the Soviets had a sub-launched missile liquid-fueled missile with 650 kg payload, greater range, and a 1 Mt warhead in the late 60s. 500m CEP strikes me as total bullshit, but we’ll see, I suppose.

  2. This Fungus Can Instantly Induce An Earth-Shattering Orgasm

    Forming on lava flows 600?1000 years old, the unnamed Dictyophora species was deemed a very intense aphrodisiac when smelled by women ? despite, or maybe because, of its “fetid” smell. The pair put the claim to the test by asking volunteers (I wonder how they whittled the number of applicants down?) to take a deep whiff, and recording their arousal levels. The results recorded in the Journal show a significant increase in arousal, with nearly half of the women experiencing spontaneous orgasms. All of the men, on the other hand, claimed it smelled absolutely disgusting.

    1. despite, or maybe because, of its “fetid” smell.

      The results recorded in the Journal show a significant increase in arousal, with nearly half of the women experiencing spontaneous orgasms. All of the men, on the other hand, claimed it smelled absolutely disgusting.

      This is why Warty never washes his dick. It’s for the ladies.

      1. well how else do you think he gets the mushrooms to grow

    2. The results recorded in the Journal show a significant increase in arousal, with nearly half of the women experiencing spontaneous orgasms. All of the men, on the other hand, claimed it smelled absolutely disgusting.

      Why yes, my wife does watch the Vampire Diaries.

    3. How do you write an article like that and not mention the name of the thing?

      1. Fear of poachers*, particularly if it’s already endangered.

        (*)Not sure if that’s the right word for plant-pilfering.

        1. But they did say what it looks like (roughly) and where to look for it. I’d think those are the things you would want to avoid mentioning.

          I have some friends who are mushroom hunters. They are very protective of the good spots they find.

          1. “They are very protective of the good spots they find.”

        2. I just thought of a slight change that could’ve made Adaptation much less of a boring pretentious piece of shit.

          1. I don’t go to the theater often, but that is the only movie I have ever walked out of.

            1. I thought it was a fine movie.

        3. That is absolutely ridiculous. If it’s properties are really as advertised it would become the least endangered organism on the planet. Its cultivation would rival that of rice in scale.

          1. Seems likely. But some mushrooms are really difficult to propagate, especially on a commercial scale.

            1. +1 black truffle.

      2. The article said it was unnamed.

    4. I don’t see how that benefits me at all.

      1. First you get the fungus, then you get the power, THEN you get the women.

    5. Snopes says the study was published years ago in a small journal. It has not been repeated and no other scientists have investigated it.

  3. High-ranking US customs agents violated a treaty with Mexico by approving a covert drug-smuggling probe that took a disastrous turn ? funneling at least $100,000 to Mexican dealers while getting an informant killed, The Post has learned

    But apart from that…

    1. So now we have had our government betters give them guns AND money. Next up, lawyers.

      1. The shit has hit the fan.

        1. That is what happens when you gamble in Havana Mexico

      2. Could we send them a couple hundred thousand lawyers? Please?

        1. Dad, get me out of this.m

        2. But only if we drop them like bombs, no wussy parachutes for these guys and gals.

    2. Then the DEA office burned down, fell over, and sank into the swamp.

      1. But they built a bigger office?

        1. yep right on top of it, but that one too burnt down fell over and sank into the swamp

      2. UUUge bales of weed!

    3. the rogue operation is being investigated by the State Department and two congressional committees

      IOW, procedures were followed, the heroes made it home safely, and nothing else happened.

  4. President Obama said the use by Hillary Clinton of a private e-mail server while she was his secretary of state was a “mistake” but that it didn’t “endanger national security.”

    He knows she would never give information away that she could sell instead.

    1. It would be nice if some journalist who had the technical knowledge of how the transmission of emails actually worked could get an interview with one of these clowns.

      Of course our president doesn’t know how email works either, so when pressed he’d just start blathering stupid shit.

      How anyone can say that a private email server running in their private home was secure is just beyond me.

      I also thought I read something this weekend that she used the name of a local Libyan spook in an email between her and Blumenthal. I can’t remember the details, but if that is true, shouldn’t that be the end of her?

      1. For me, that “what, you mean with a cloth” response should have ended her candidacy.

        1. When she said that, someone should have reminded her that a cloth is what interns use to wipe themselves off with after the boss is done having his way with them.

          1. +1 rag from an old stained blue dress

        2. No shit. That was a classic passive-aggressive response, and showed an utter contempt for rules that would get her underlings fired or put in jail.

          That this corrupt bitch could end up running the country after committing security violations up to the Top Secret level is actually far more appalling than any buffoonry Trump might be committing. It shows that the Democrats in particular who support her are completely unprincipled and should be treated as active enemies of the country.

          1. Statists are always treated as active enemies no matter which color they worship

      2. No. Because, Scooter Libby.

    2. It would be nice if some journalist who had the technical knowledge of how the transmission of emails actually worked could get an interview with one of these clowns.

      There’s nothing particularly complex about it. NIPRnet, SIPRnet, and TS JWICS systems are all segregated. Getting the latter two on an unencrypted medium is a fireable, and in many cases jailable, offense, especially if the original security markings were removed.

      The Washington press corps have been around government workers long enough, and there’s enough easily-researched information, to basically get him to admit that Clinton violated government regulations on the transmission of classified emails on an unencrypted medium and the use of private email for business purposes. They just don’t want to.

      1. Sounds like someone was in the Navy! so were you a CT IT or ET?

        1. Not Navy,was in the Air Force.

      2. The fact (as I understand it) that “air-gapped” security info migrated off the top-secret systems and onto Hillary’s email means that somebody committed a very intentional and unmistakable violation: that info had to be hand-carried to an insecure system.

        That should be a focus of investigation. You can start with Blumenthal and others who had the info, and force them under threat of hard time to turn and spill the goods. Once you have the chain built down to the actual minion who violated the air-gapped systems, you can build back up to the top.

        But, of course, no one in a position of prosecutorial authority has the slightest interest in actually getting to the bottom of this.

        1. But, of course, no one in a position of prosecutorial authority has the slightest interest in actually getting to the bottom of this.

          Precisely. The fix was in when Kerry appointed an “email czar” to oversee the investigation, who “coincidentally” maxed out her campaign contributions to Hillary this year. That kind of naked corruption is such a blatant “fuck you” to people who get their clearance pulled and lose their jobs for far less.

          I wish a goddamn meteor would fall on every single one of them.

        2. One thing I want to point out – it might not be as nefarious as you think. The easiest way to defeat an air-gapped system is your brain (although, I’m not entirely sure these people have those). You can read an email on the proper classified system, then turn around and type the same info into a non-classified system.

          This happens all the time, but it is usually a mistake. Quite often classification guides are not very clear as to what is classified and what is not, and it is easy for information to leak from classified to unclassified systems. That said, if you are the one who has caused said leak, it’s not going to be good for your career. At a minimum you would be repremanded. If it is bad or persistent, you would have your security clearance revoked (and in most cases, this would be a defacto firing as if you are accessing classified info, the job will require a clearance, and without a clearance you no longer qualify for the job).

          The one thing that gets me as someone who deals with this stuff daily – Clinton is one of the original classification authorities. This means she was one who had the authority to determine if something was classified or not. She should have been able to recognize when things were classified, especially those items that originated from DoS. Even if the release of the info was a mistake, it just shows that she is so incompetent that she should never have had the job in the first place…

    3. The word “Sell” makes it sound almost honest. Hilldawg is more of a “quid-pro-quo” kind of gal.

    4. Does this mean that Obumbles is the next SOS?

  5. Assault Weapons Ban Before U.S. Supreme Court

    If the court agrees to hear the case, it would cast a shadow over similar bans in seven states. But declining to take it up would boost efforts to impose such bans elsewhere, at a time of renewed interest in gun regulation after recent mass shootings.

    Gun rights advocates are challenging a 2013 law passed in Highland Park, Illinois, that bans the sale, purchase, or possession of semi-automatic weapons that can hold more than 10 rounds in a single ammunition clip or magazine. In passing the law, city officials cited the 2012 shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado.

    The ban also lists certain specific rifles, including those resembling the AR-15 and AK-47 assault-style firearms.

    1. The ‘Scary looking guns’ bill.

      1. The ban also lists certain specific rifles, including those resembling the AR-15 and AK-47 assault-style firearms

        They were fairly upfront that they were legislating against scary looking things.

    2. In passing the law, city officials cited the 2012 shootings at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Connecticut and a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado.

      Weren’t these shootings perpetrated with pistols and shotguns?

      1. I thought Sandy hook involved a Booosh!master

      2. Weren’t these shootings perpetrated with pistols and shotguns?

        Well yes, but each of those shooters DID have a scary gun available or present at the scene, whether it was used or not is irrelevant. Clearly, the visual impact of these hideous weapons is enough to send anyone over the edge and turn them into mad, sadistic killers. That’s why kids shouldn’t be allowed to wear shirts with pictures of scary stuff on them.

        1. “”Each of those shooters DID have a scary gun available or present at the scene, whether it was used or not is irrelevant””

          Also true of the Oregon shooter, who never used his.

          Maybe he knew it would amp up the press coverage.

      3. No, they just happened to kill lovely white people in white places, which is just frankly, outrageous.

  6. The president is also reportedly considering expanding background checks for gun purchases by changing federal definitions and bypassing Congress.

    I can’t wait to hear my gun-loving redneck Democrat friends explain this one away.

    1. changing federal definitions

      wrt the 2nd amendment, the words ‘SHALL NOT’ shall henceforth be construed to mean ‘WILL’.

    2. I can’t wait to hear our resident dipshit, aka shriek, explain it away.

    3. sounds like a good ole union boy

  7. Swedish herring party sparks gas leak fears

    “We received the alarm at 19.53 on Wednesday with residents reporting a weird smell in their apartment building, suspecting it might be some sort of a gas leak,” Johanna Bj?rnfot, a spokeswoman at the Fire and Rescue Services in Stockholm, told The Local.

    “We responded to the call and alerted Stockholm Gas [about the possible leak], but when we got to the scene and started to investigate the smell, one of the residents informed us that they were eating fermented herring, which turned out to be the cause,” she said.

    Fermented herring, or “surstr?mming” as the Swedes call it, is a centuries-old tradition and stems from the time when Swedish workers were paid for their labour in herring. The fermentation process allows the fish to keep for longer.

    1. I was talking to a Finn today, who told me they hate Swedes. Something to do with ice hockey. Adding to their pain is the crushing indifference the Swedes display towards Finns. Probably too high on fermented herring smell, I suppose

      1. I’ve always assumed that’s why Finntroll sings in Swedish.

      2. It’s funny. If you talk to the average Canadian with a chip on their shoulders they are irritated by the indifference Americans show Canada. My sister’s boyfriend is one of those ‘just because nationalist’ and it’s annoying as fuck.

        1. How would those Canadians like Americans to think about Canada? Maybe it’s just me, but I think it would be nice in many ways to live in a country that has a high standard of living, but that no one thinks about too much.

          1. It is nice but then the navel-gazing begins. And all the ‘why is America named America when it belongs to a continent’ and other Canadian nationalist nonsense creeps in. Maybe because we have too much time on our hands. And there’s the bizarre over-inflated sense of our place in the world; that somehow we’d be so much wiser if we had American power because, you know, Rick Fucken Mercer.

            I’ve grown tired of Canadian nationalists and their infantile ruminations.

            1. My brother married a Canadian gal. He was quite mystified about his new wife’s sense of Canadian history and how important it was to know…

              Of course she thinks America is riddled with crime and thought he was going to get shot when we went to a bar in the middle of town.

              1. I love visiting Japan because they are all pretty convinced that you as an American somehow snuck a gun into their country and are just waiting for the right moment to go on a rampage.

                For a fat old guy it is nice to be feared again.

                They really freak out when I tell them about all the shotguns and rifles I own. Especially when I get to the youth model .243 that I bought for my 12 year old son. The idea of giving a gun to a kid really gets them going.

            2. The real tragedy of Canada is that it could have had French food, British culture, and American technology, and instead it ended up with British food, American culture, and French technology.

        2. It’s not too unusual. When traveling in Europe I encounter many people with very strong views and opinions on the United States that become absolutely incensed when they learn that I have no opinion on their country nor am I impressed with their “deep” knowledge of the US.

          1. +1 Liechtenstein

      3. There is a very large minority of Swedish speakers in Finland.

        Finland is way better. More guns, more lakes and more auto racing.

      4. My dad’s from the UP, and 100% Finnish and has always commented on the “feud” between the Swedes and Finns. I had a coworker from Sweden for a while. Her theory was that the Finns were like the Hispanics of Scandinavia – sort of. They’re made fun of and misunderstood by other Scandos. Part of the reason is that Finnish is not pronounceable by the other Scandos . . . I think Finns are less polite and friendly than other Scandos, and more isolationist as well.

        1. In Minnesoda where I grew up the Finns are very uptight about the fact that they are not Scandanavian. They want no part of being linked to the Swedes and Norwegians.

          1. Yeah my grandmother was Finnish. She didnt hide her dislike for swedes

        2. Her theory was that the Finns were like the Hispanics of Scandinavia – sort of.

          So burritos then?

    2. A surstr?mming party looks delightful, it turns out.

      1. Heh.

        Fish pizza.

    3. My father catches northern pike and pickles them like herring. He uses the pickled fish to bribe the local norwegians into allowing him to hunt on their land.

      I helped with the catching and pickling when I lived at home and for the life of me I can’t figure out why the Norwegians and Swedes can’t get enough of them. One piece a year is a little over my personal limit.

      Maybe compared to lutefisk, pickled fish is the best?

      1. I love some pickled fish. Especially herring or white anchovies.

  8. Global obesity rise puts UN goals on diet-related diseases ‘beyond reach’

    UN goals on diet-related disease will fail to be met because of the soaring numbers of people becoming obese or overweight, with almost 1 billion of the world’s adults projected to be obese by 2025, analysis shows.

    Experts warn that targets will not be met because of the spread of the westernised diet around the globe as a result of heavy marketing by the food industry.

    Concern over the rise in diabetes, heart disease, cancer and other conditions fuelled by obesity led to a UN summit in 2011, where the World Health Organisation (WHO) was commissioned to set targets to bring down the alarming rate of weight gain across the planet. It set a goal for 2025 of no increase in obesity or diabetes beyond the levels of 2010.

    The world is John’s Oyster

    1. ‘Westernized diets’.

      Is there anything they won’t pin on the White West?

      I find this amusing though. Some of the fattest people on earth live in places where the Western diet is largely absent. And what do they mean by ‘Western’? I’m guessing corporate chains but they do know the ‘Western diet’ is varied and runs deep, right?

      Right.

      1. They mean sugar and flour and deep-fried shit. You know – fat fuck food.

        1. http://bit.ly/1PpM9xm

          FAT PEOPLE ARE HEROES TOO!

    2. My solution: everyone should start smoking cigarettes again.

      1. I like the way you think.

      2. If the government pays for it – healthcare and all- why not?

  9. Hello.

    And they say Canadian politics is boring:

    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/…..-1.3265147

  10. A new law in California prohibits public schools from using “Redskins” as a team name.

    Specifically? It looks like that trademark thing won’t hurt the Washington franchise after all.

    1. New team name: Red Skins.

      1. Red’s Kins?

    2. *Snikerds*

    3. Pirates and gold prospectors and Catholic priests are still okay to stereotype in a cartoonish fashion though, right?

  11. Washington, D.C. Is Now Partially Powered By Sewage

    Politics might get dirty in D.C, but the nation’s capitol is making sure that even the dirtiest solid waste is getting cleaned up into green, renewable energy.

    This week, utility company D.C. Water unveiled a brand new bioenergy facility that turns D.C. residents’ wastewater (from sinks, showers, and yes, toilets) into clean energy.

    Here’s how it works. Wastewater, including solid sewage, travels to the plant, where the liquid is separated out and sent to a traditional wastewater treatment plant. The solids that are left over are heated, sterilized, and mixed into an easily digestible mass. That mixture is then sent into a digester, where a certain mix of microbes chows down on the waste, producing methane as they digest their meal. That methane is then burned and used to generate about 10 megawatts of electricity.

    1. How many megawatts are expended to separate, heat, sterilize and mix into an easily digestible mass?

      1. Asking questions like that, you won’t last long in the green business. They’re selling the appearance of clean renewable energy.

      2. ^This. Because it would need to be a big net positive energy gain to cover the salaries, equipment, etc.

        1. I get the point you’re making, but keep in mind they were already paying for sewage treatment and that produced no usable energy.

      3. “At least we’re DOING SOMETHING!!!111!”

        /greenie

    2. We always knew DC ran on bullshit.

    3. So…how many politicians can we recycle at a time using this method? I’m sure whatever energy we get out of them will be way more useful then what they do now.

  12. #CocksNotGlocks: University of Texas students will protest concealed carry law with dildos

    Students at the University Of Texas at Austin are planning to protest a new law that permits the concealed carry of handguns on campus ? with dildos.

    The “campus carry” law passed by the Texas legislature and signed by the Governor in June, requires UT Austin and the other campuses in the UT system to allow students to carry guns on campus. It gives the schools some discretion on how to implement the law.

    The protest is designed to draw attention to the fact that carrying a dildo to class could be “prohibited expression” under university rules. The rules prohibit “any writing or visual image, or engage in any public performance, that is obscene.”

    “You’re carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I’m carrying a HUGE DILDO. Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play,” the organizer, Jessica Jin, wrote.

    On Facebook, 1,800 people have registered for the event, which is scheduled for next August when the law goes into effect.

    Uh….okay.

    1. She is a violin major, which is how you know she is smart.

      1. Sadly she might be. Not so easy to play the violin. Every tried?

        1. If you’re going tens of thousands of dollars in debt learning to play a violin, then I have to question your intelligence.

        2. I wonder about people with musical talent who go to university? Is that an accepted pathway into becoming a professional musician (i.e. as with sport). I assume you must already be able to play well so what are you learning at university? Is it more about having the opportunity to practice with others?

          1. It’s the usual path to do some intensive study at a conservatorium, school of music, etc (assume that’s what this faculty is, in effect). Before you go you’ve been juggling practice with normal school work – this allows you to spend a few years really developing your technical skills, knowledge of the repertoire, etc. Also it’s good for networking.

          2. I come from a rather wickedly talented musical family; the answer seems to be yes and it can’t hurt.

          3. Yes, it’s definitely an accepted pathway to becoming a professional musician. I don’t know how the University of Texas is set up, but they have a music school, so this woman probably attends that and is working on the highest level of violin technique. We had a music school at my university and the students were amazing and working toward careers in orchestras and such.

        3. Intelligence takes on many forms. They apparently do not teach logic in violin school. Instead of being laughed for using a juvenile ploy for attention, she will be defended in some (too many) circles as a feminist hero, taking on Big Guns while being proud of her sexuality.

          1. I think it’s a good protest if you want to protest campus carry, or especially dumb laws. I mean, free the dildo.

            1. Yeah it kind of back fires when used against libertarians.
              Lady: I wanna bring my dildo!!!
              Me: ok

              1. The rationale is a little difficult to suss out. “We want to normalize and defetishize our sexuality! But, you know, please still be shocked and offended by our blatant public demonstrations of it.”

                1. “We want to normalize and defetishize our sexuality! But, you know, please still be shocked and offended by our blatant public demonstrations of it.”

                  Weirdly I can’t find anything at all about that in the materials for the protest.

                  The State of Texas has decided that it is not at all obnoxious to allow deadly concealed weapons in classrooms, however it DOES have strict rules about free sexual expression, to protect your innocence. You would receive a citation for taking a DILDO to class before you would get in trouble for taking a gun to class. Heaven forbid the penis.

                  Yeah, just sounds like (a) they’re against campus carry and (b) think it’s retarded they can’t carry around a dildo in public.

                  1. Something tells me you don’t find it at all weird that you can poke holes in my little kvetch.

                    1. Aww

                  2. You would receive a citation for taking a DILDO to class before you would get in trouble for taking a gun to class.

                    Well, if you carry them both concealed, you shouldn’t get a citation for either.

                    If you don’t have a CCW license, you are going to get into a lot more trouble than a note in your permanent record.

                    So, as always, the shrieking SJW is only distantly acquainted with reality.

                    As to whether the rules against waving your dildo around during class is a bad rule, well, I’m not quite willing to write it off as an obviously stupid so-con plot, myself. See, the gun actually has a purpose in class. The dildo, not so much.

              2. I totally agree with this. When I read what they were doing my immediate reaction was “Why are dildos banned?” Everyone in college is either an adult by age or intellectualism. Concealed weapons, unconcealed dildos…who cares? It always baffles me that a lot more people aren’t libertarian.

            2. I think it’s a good protest if you want to protest campus carry, or especially dumb laws. I mean, free the dildo

              I am all for freeing all dildos that have been enslaved to the nightstand drawer, but the protest will not have any influence, so I do not think it is a good protest.

        4. Except we have additional evidence of her lack of intelligence.

    2. Well, I favor both the right to carry a gun and to carry a dildo, openly or concealed.

      1. Even assault dildos?

          1. Drat…your comment was better.

    3. I’m sure Warty could take out an active shooter with a dildo

      1. He could probably take out an active dildo with a shooter too.

    4. “You’re carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I’m carrying a HUGE DILDO. Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play,” the organizer, Jessica Jin, wrote.

      If her home was broken into, I’m sure she wouldn’t call men with guns to her defense, she’d call up the local dildo store.

      1. She could fuck ’em to death

    5. August 4? When there are about 16 kids taking summer classes? What’s next, a protest during spring break?

    6. Hope they bring lube in case someone attacks them and assaults them with their concealed carry dildo.

      1. bring lube

        “Well, have you ever had one hang up in the holster during a panic draw? Have you!?”

    7. I’m still wildly confused by what these things have to do with one another.

      1. Rhyme.

        Cocks, Glocks. #BoogersNotRugers wasn’t as catchy. Nor #BoltsNotColts.

    8. You’re carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I’m carrying a HUGE DILDO. Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play.

      Someone has never played GTA: San Andreas.

      1. Or Saints Row 3, according to Susan.

    9. For anyone who would like to 3D print a dildo that would encase their gun, I offer my services. May make it unholsterable and wreck your sights, but worth the hilarity.

    10. And liberal arts majors wonder why the rest of us don’t take them seriously.

      1. Violin is not a liberal art.

        1. Music is 1/4 of the quadrivium.

      2. I fell asleep during many philosophy classes to earn that liberal arts degree, thank you very much.

      3. The liberal arts include science, mathematics, history, economics, etc. I think you are thinking of something else.

        1. I suppose it depends on what, precisely, is your definition of “liberal arts”, but in the sense of classical antiquity, music was considered part of the quadrivium, along with arithmetic, geometry and astronomy. Along with the trivium, that pretty much defines the entirety of classical liberal arts education.

          1. I kind of think of it as education that isn’t directly job training.

            Some people appear to see the words “liberal” and “art” and assume that it means something quite different.

            1. I kind of think of it as education that isn’t directly job training.

              I agree with you, and that said, pretty much every degree has some of that.

  13. “A new law in California prohibits public schools from using “Redskins” as a team name. Four high schools in the state will have to change their names by 2017.”

    Is it racist to say Redskin potatoes in Cali-fornia?

    I know. Context.

    1. Only if “redskin” is one word.

    2. Brave move, CA legislature.

  14. Armed Robbery Suspect Tries Using Uber as Getaway Car, Police Say

    The suspect, Dashawn Terrell Cochran, was at a store in Parkville, Maryland, early Wednesday morning when he allegedly took a bottle of Tylenol cold medicine to the register, the Baltimore County Police Department said. Police said he then pointed a gun at an employee and demanded money.

    Cochran ran from the store with an undisclosed amount of cash, but officers began to track his path, police said.

    Cochran was seen getting into the back of a silver Lexus, and when officers pulled the car over, the driver said he was an Uber driver, police said.

    1. Clearly we need to ban Uber.

      1. And Tylenol. WAR ON DRUGS

        1. NOOOO! Tylenol is the only over-the-counter pain reliever I can take!

          1. What? It has almost no effect on me. I use a combination of aspirin and ibuprofen . . . and cross my fingers about liver damage.

            1. Nah, aspirin and ibuprofen will put holes in your gut before they mess with your liver. I’d recommend staggering the aspirin and ibu though, and avoid taking either for long periods of time, and drop the aspirin if you’re worried about bleeding on things or going to be spending a lot of time in the sun.

            2. I only have one kidney left – NSAIs are no good for me…

              1. Don’t worry, Swiss, cannabinoid pain medications are coming…eventually.

    2. Should’ve used lyft.

  15. Rand Paul’s all-too-familiar campaign
    The Kentucky senator was supposed to create a new GOP coalition. Instead, he’s running a campaign that looks a lot like his father’s.

    The 2016 Republican presidential race was supposed to go something like this for Rand Paul: He would assume the mantle of his father’s libertarian movement, broaden it by bringing in new constituencies and compete on an expanded map. He would be the candidate to take the liberty message to the mainstream, something Ron Paul could never achieve.

    Things haven’t gone as planned.

    Six months after announcing for president, Paul’s campaign is buried in the polls, unable to break single digits, and subject to calls that it’s time for him to leave the race. While he’s raking in dollars from small donors, he’s not raising nearly enough to compete with the top tier candidates. What’s worse, Paul’s map is contracting, not expanding ? his best prospects for victory appear to be in low-turnout caucus states where a small core of committed supporters can carry the day.

    1. The Kentucky senator was supposed to create a new GOP coalition. Instead, he’s running a campaign that looks a lot like his father’s.

      Ummmm Ron Paul actually got some popular support, some delegates and a lot more money if I remember correctly. But other than that it’s identical!

  16. The Chemist Who Hasn’t Showered in 12 Years Explains Why He Doesn’t Stink

    “Why does my horse roll around in its own filth all day?”

    It was a pretty weird question to be asked on a date, but it ended up changing David Whitlock’s life. That was 12 years ago, and Whitlock hasn’t bathed since.

    Driven by the burning ambition to find an answer to his date’s question, the chemist, who is now 60 years old, got to work: After doing some research, Whitlock found out that horses rub living bacteria into their skin to protect the flora living there.

    Whitlock gathered some of these good bacteria, which neutralize dangerous organisms and hazardous substances on the skin, and made them into a spray that he’s been using since for his daily hygiene. Among other things, it breaks down ammonia: the compound that makes human sweat stink in the first place.

    1. No one needs 23 types of deodorants anyway!

      1. All hail the “New Sanders Man”

    2. My dog rolled on a dead duck once. He didn’t smell very good. HYPOTHESIS BUSTED!!!

      1. Why didn’t he smell very good? Did he get some of the dead duck stuffed up his nose?

        Seriously, your dog thought he smelled great. That duck was canine Axe Spray. He was sure that all the neighborhood bitches were going to be all over him. Then you had to go and fuck it up by giving him a bath.

          1. “Florida Man uses dog as bait in bizarre noodling hobby.”

            1. bizarre noodling hobby

              The Flying Spaghetti Monster forgives you.

          2. Well I assumed you had washed the cur as a favor to Florida Woman. After all she doesn’t want to smell that stink when she is feeding the dog peanut butter – Florida Style.

            1. Florida Style.

              I’m not sure what getting meth’d up and hitting your cousin for making the eggs wrong/giving toothy blowjobs has anything to do with anything…

      2. A couple years ago the roommate’s dog fetched in a skunk it had caught in the yard, and proceeded to bed down and roll around with its body. Gassed us out of the house.

      3. We had some folks visiting (their dog was the father of one of our dogs – a high-energy pit bull). We lived in the country, and the neighbor had cows. Their mutt found a fresh cow-pie and came racing back to us pretty well coated in fresh shit.

        The owner yelled at the dog, who did what he always did when he got in trouble: he jumped in the open door of the pickup. Covered in fresh cow shit.

        I actually sat on the ground I was laughing so hard. I know: Easy to do when its not your pickup.

        1. It has been really strange. Since we have moved to Florida, both of our dogs have suddenly discovered great joys in rolling around in crap they find in the yard. Never did that while we were living overseas, but there is something that is very aluring in the dropings of the local fauna.

          One of our hounds has already learned the procedures – as soon as she rolls head first in the crap, she will then immediately go sit by the hose. She knows a bath is coming (and she hates baths). But apparently the joy of rolling in the stuff outweighs the horrors of the bath…

  17. something something chessmaster

    Obama will be the only person sticking to Iran deal

    Sometime this week, President Obama is scheduled to sign an executive order to meet the Oct. 15 “adoption day” he has set for the nuclear deal he says he has made with Iran. According to the president’s timetable the next step would be “the start day of implementation,” fixed for Dec. 15.

    But as things now stand, Obama may end up being the only person in the world to sign his much-wanted deal, in effect making a treaty with himself.

    The Iranians have signed nothing and have no plans for doing so. The so-called Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (JCPOA) has not even been discussed at the Islamic Republic’s Council of Ministers. Nor has the Tehran government bothered to even provide an official Persian translation of the 159-page text.

    1. The have written him off as such a pussy, they won’t even bother pretending to follow the deal.

    2. in effect making a treaty with himself

      The world seems to disappoint him yet again…what choice does he have?

    3. Not a single violation will be discovered will be officially discovered while Obama is President. However, if a Republican is elected President then numerous violations will be officially discovered after Obama leaves office. Obama and the media will claim this is because Iran is worried about the cowboy attitude of the the Republican President.

    4. Well he’s going to pass gun control by going around congress and unilaterally changing the the definition of things. Maybe he can get this treaty through by going around Iran and unilaterally changing the definition of concepts like “signing” and “ratifying”.

      1. Better to change the definitions of “nuclear” and “enrichment”.

    5. Why does he negotiate and makes concessions to ever group he faces, EXCEPT Congressional Republicans?

      1. He’ll send vehicles and nightvision goggles to ISIS, but he won’t send a compromise to the GOP congress critters.

    6. As noted yesterday, Iran is not acting like they’re in the mood to confirm any “deals”

  18. Students demand Thomas Jefferson statue removed from university, call him ‘racist rapist’

    Some students at the University of Missouri have called on administrators to remove a statue of founding father Thomas Jefferson, suggesting in a petition and during a recent protest that the campus sculpture is offensive, oppressive, and celebrates a “racist rapist.”

    “Thomas Jefferson’s statue sends a clear nonverbal message that his values and beliefs are supported by the University of Missouri. Jefferson’s statue perpetuates a sexist-racist atmosphere that continues to reside on campus,” states the Change.org petition. “?Removing Jefferson’s statue alone will not eliminate the racial problems we face in America today, but it will help cure the emotional and psychological strain of history.”

    1. I’ve said it before: ban history.

      1. Seriously.

        At some point, there has to be some sort of push back and it should begin with the leaders of any campus and the often gutless professors and deans.

        This is not normal behavior nor is it intellectual on any level.

        1. This is your culture committing suicide.

      2. It clearly triggers — something –in people – so yes.

    2. but it will help cure the emotional and psychological strain of history.”

      He might find clonazepam a little more helpful.

    3. Fine, but only if we can replace it with a statue of Bill Cosby.

      1. The plaque can read “Where the white women at?”

    4. End student aid. Let the college system shake itself out.

      Too many students are in college to play games. Get rid of the subsidies and this will fade away.

    5. Thomas Jefferson’s statue sends a clear nonverbal message that his values and beliefs are supported by the University of Missouri.

      I should hope so – but you’re obviously not getting a thing out of your education if you think his values and beliefs begin and end with sexism and racism. Somebody needs to thump you upside your goddamn thick skull you retarded piece of shit, demonstrate to you what things might be like if we didn’t have Jefferson’s values and beliefs.

    6. “it will help cure the emotional and psychological strain of history.”

      Reality-based community.

      1. These tards act as if real life is the like the movies they watch.

    7. So, they are traumatized by the evils of Thomas Jefferson so much that they can’t overlook them for all the good he did, but overlook the much greater evils of Che Guevara and wear him on a t-shirt.

      When people ask why I got the snip, I can point to things like this – I don’t think it would be fair to bring another life into a world like this…

  19. Jeb Bush sinking in the latest CBS polls; has some of the worst favorability numbers among republicans of all the candidates.

    Weigel is going to look pretty fucking stupid when the big money boys tell him that he’s cut off, which probably isn’t that far away frim happening.

    1. The GOP bigshits are still behind JEB! and to a lesser extent Fat Chris.

      1. So? If it were Team Blue, support from party bigshits would actually be crucial. In the GOP this quite clearly is not the case.

      2. No, they’re pushing Rubio now.

  20. ISIS has their own Ser Gregor Clegane. They call him The Bulldozer.

    There’s a pic of him holding a 110 lb M2 heavy machine gun like a rifle.

    1. Man, would he look great with a bullet between his eyes and in his fat ass.

      Come on snipers! Do your jobs!

    2. I doubt he can deflect an SAS sniper’s bullet or bomb shrapnel.

    3. I don’t think Clegane was a fat-ass.

      1. Yeah, it would be pretty funny to see him waddling towards an armed enemy emplacement.

        I see the same sort of strange “Big is great” shit from the Japanese people I know. You watch sumo wrestling with them and they think that there is no better physical specimen on earth. Simply being a giant fat man is enough for them.

        1. Maybe their Rugby team can help change that.

        2. Hey now. Sumo is way more than just being a fat slob. Seen it live and those guys are athletes.

          1. I’ve been there live with my brother in law and it is impressive (and a fun time*). Those guys are pretty impressive when they go at it. I was a bit worried because I’m not a big sake fan, but then I found out they sold beer too and I was fine.

            But I’ve run into too many Japanese who seem to think that if they had a few divisions of sumo that they could totally deliver on the dream of the Japanese Co-Prosperity Sphere once and for all.

            * Way better than when we went and played Pachinko. Don’t even get me started on how dumb that is.

            1. It’s a cool sport. Musashimaru was a Viking at one point.

              1. Being a member of the Vikings does not support your assertion that sumo wrestlers are actual athletes.

                1. Joke about the Vikings or Sumo?

            2. Summo is the fucking SHIT. I just got back from Tokyo and I had a box at the Sept. Tourney for the final day. IT WAS AMAZING! I mean absolutely amazing. If I lived in Japan I would be an addict. And yes, the “beer” girl pours drafts from her backpack (Sapporo so there is that). The ceremony, tradition, and utter instantaneous bad-assness was truly awe inspiring. I was rooting for Teronofuji, a Mongolian Ozeki who, if he would have won, would have been promoted to yokozuna. He lost to the only yokozuna in the tournament (the other two dropped). The crowd was insane. I highly recommend it if you are ever in Japan…regardless of price.

          2. This. Sumo wrestlers are incredibly athletic for their size.

        3. Hmmmmm. *plans trip to Japan to become their leader(look up Japanese translation to “fat daddy”)

    4. Islam means “peace”.

      1. It means “submission”.

  21. Why So Many of Europe’s Migrants Are Men

    This helps to clarify why so many of Europe’s newcomers are young men. Of 102,753 registered arrivals through Italy and Greece, the International Organization of Migration found that 68,085 were men, with only 13,888 women and 20,780 children. At both the Hungary-Croatia border and the Serbia-Croatia border, I saw a noticeable majority of men, though it was nearly impossible to take a photograph without capturing at least one woman or child in the background.

    “They tell us, ‘We do this dangerous trip on our own, we get asylum, and there is a law in the European Union that the family can come,'” says Christof Zellenberg, the chairman of the Europa Institute, who has been heavily involved in volunteer efforts in Vienna. You see few newcomers over 50, he adds, because “this is a grueling trip, and you need to be young and strong.”

    1. That’s not what Matt said.

    2. Oh you mean like when immigrants came from Europe on boats and shit?

    3. Which means that instead of 800,000 migrants, Germany can expect this year’s batch to turn into 2 million once they get settled and bring their families over. And there are supposed to be another 500,000 next year, so we’ll be talking about 3-3.5 million migrants from basically two years’ worth of refugees.

      Hey, anyone remember when people were calling Mark Steyn crazy for talking about how Europe would become rapidly Islamized? Boy, that guy sure was dumb and didn’t know what he was talking about.

      1. Exponential cultural enrichment! Mass immigration is always good at all times, no matter who does it!

      2. Yeah, but think of the cultural enrichment that Germany is about to experience.

  22. Happy Columbus day, everyone. Work for thee, bank holiday for me.

    1. IT’S THANKS GIVING!

      But whatever.

      Happy Indian Murderer Who Needed A GPS Day.

      /prog.

      1. It’s Sports Day. I spent it mixing beer and painkillers.

      2. How does one give thanks in Canada? Honest question. And what’s the traditional thanksgiving beverage?

        1. And what’s the traditional thanksgiving beverage?

          Whatever is on sale at Canadian Tire.

          1. I found your blog, by the way. Someday I will read from it to my children.

            1. They will thank you for preparing them for the world.

  23. The media’s lying to you about Bernie Sanders: This is why a socialist can win the Fox-loving red states

    (Nate) Silver has a chart. It shows that when you multiply the number of liberals and whites among state electorates, Vermont, New Hampshire, and Iowa rank first, second, and third. Texas is near the bottom?a place where Bernie Sanders should feel about as welcome as a La Raza convention at the Alamo, right?

    I have a new friend who begs to differ.

    It’s July 20, and my airplane seat mate asks what brought me to Texas. He is a construction company sales executive from Houston. He’s watching Fox News on his cell phone. He tells me he considers himself a conservative. I tell him I’m a political reporter covering the Bernie Sanders campaign. He perks up: “I like what I’ve heard from him. Kind of middle of the road.”

    1. Lol middle of the road. One anecdote..yep i buy what they are selling!

      1. Hey, man, Nate has a graph, so, like, back off. Silver’s on the case.

        1. Silver’s graph also has nothing to do with Bernie Sanders’ ability to win Texas.

          1. He just has to appeal to all the middle-of-the-road voters with his middle-of-the-road radical socialism.

    2. I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHA FUCKEN SNAKES ON THIS MUTHA FUCKIN PLANE!

    3. So you found one retarded person who thinks Bernie Sanders is middle of the road and you’re using this as proof that he can win red states.

      I found two black women on youtube who love Donald Trump. Clearly Trump will win Republicans the black vote.

      1. Imbeciles are like roaches. Seeing only one is enough to tell you there’s a problem.

    4. I’ll bet he had one of them big ten gallon hats and squealed “YeeHAW!” after every statement.

    5. Another graduate of the Thomas L. Friedman School of Journalism?

      Do those taxi drivers or airline passengers even exist or are the authors just writing their opinions in? How do you fact check some anonymous person like that?

  24. While I find Mr. Lizard to be a charming commenter, I feel that I must oppose his plans for a new reptilian takeover of the planet.

    Why?

    Because after watching this video, I find that I cannot in good conscious be part of such a morally degrading regime.

    SFW

    1. And yet there are commenters here who’d hit that

      1. I don’t know about that, but I might pay to watch her eat a furry.

  25. Jack Kerouac, misogynist creep: Inside his ugly infatuation with Marilyn Monroe
    Five years after publishing “On the Road,” the Beat icon penned a letter so vile it demands we reexamine his legacy

    LUCIEN: Mr. Kerouac, what do you think of Marilyn Monroe? Your honest opinion.

    KEROUAC: She was fucked to death.

    LUCIEN: Will you send us a telegram saying so?

    Six days before the date on the letter, Monroe, 36, had been found dead of a barbiturate overdose at her home in Los Angeles. Her death was both a spectacle and a singular American tragedy. My mouth went agape as I sat reading the letter. How could Kerouac be so pitiless?

    In 1962, he was 40 years old and far removed from the callow youth of his Columbia days. What would prompt a worldly, middle-aged man to emote such adolescent contempt for a woman whose life and death had been heartbreaking?

    1. Someone else employed by salon not educated enough to know that Kerouac was a mean drunk that only got meaner as her went along.

      Also, stop mythologizing and worshipping Monroe. She was a drugged-up doorknob.

      1. She was a woman, and therefore Kerouac owed her not having a rough opinion after her death. Or something.

      2. Monroe could be witty. She was once told she was the most popular answer to the question “who would you like to be stranded with on a desert island?” When asked the same question, her answer was “a gynecologist”.

        LEAVE MONROE ALONE! LEAVE’ER ALOOOOONE!

      3. And slutty.

      4. BUT JOE D LOVED HER SOOOOO MUCH!

    2. I think Kerouac was just jealous Monroe slept with Arthur Miller (author of Death of a Salesman) and not him.

    3. ‘singular American tragedy’

      Was this sentence actually used for Monroe?

      Sing it…and it seems to me, you lived your life like a candle in the wind…

    4. Jack Kerouac, misogynist creep…Five years after publishing “On the Road,”

      Um…was that not obvious from On the road?

      1. He was a French-Canadian mama’s boy alcoholic that never could shake the moralistic Catholicism she injected him with from an early age. He drank himself to death while praising Nixon and the Vietnam War, deeply angered by the hippies who loved him.

        Did this guy know nothing about Kerouac before this archives visit?

      2. They mention On the Road and its ridiculous treatment of women in the article.

        See Nicole? I can criticize you for not reading the article before commenting, too!

        1. That’s fair. I still refuse to click through to anything about fucking Kerouac.

    5. a letter so vile it demands we reexamine his legacy

      I can see this being used on, say, Hillary. “Her behavior behind closed doors was so vile it demanded we reexamine her legacy.” Haha, just kidding.

    1. new species of meth-herpes discovered.

      Pray God it won’t be weaponised

    2. Back when I did sound for the local punk scene, the crusties had a scabies breakout in their little tight-knit group. When they didn’t arrive for a show, I thanked them for not being there. /Crusty Shaming

      1. Crust punks are hilarious. I once had one of them scream at me for not giving him money while he was out begging. He was smoking Dunhills (expensive British cigarettes.)

        1. That’s every street in Ann Arbor – though I had one who wanted to trade weed for cash.

        2. I hate the “uniform” they seem to wear. It’s like Mad Max went to the military surplus first, rolled in some oil, pinned on patches & safety pins & spikes. . . .cut off the knees (if it’s summer) and called it good. Oh, and borrowed the boots from a dead hobo.

          1. The struggle against conformity can only be won by dressing exactly like everyone else you know.

    3. I took the bus down Haight once when I lived in SF (no way was I going to walk amongst that filth). It amazes me the shopkeepers and homeowners put up with that shit.

  26. Ben Carson vs the clucking hens of The View:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOtoTNRxvYU

    They took exception to his observation that most young single moms have a lot less education.

    He was also asked if he was against birth control, a charge he denied.

    1. They took exception to his observation that most young single moms have a lot less education.

      It’s progressive dogma that having a bunch of kids on a single income cannot be criticized since all we need is a few trillion dollars in additional welfare spending and the issue will be resolved.

      1. Women are JUST AS CAPABLE AS MEN at winning marathons with 40lb bags of sand strapped to their legs.

  27. Bill Nye speaks on abortion, because….?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4IPrw0NYkMg

    Blames “men of European descent” because….?

  28. Newt Gingrich open to House speaker run after Kevin McCarthy withdraws

    http://www.washingtontimes.com…..medium=RSS

    1. This sounds like a SugarFree story

  29. Insane rites of passage around the world:

    http://www.artofmanliness.com/…..the-world/

    And the most insane ritual is:

    The Sambia believe that both men and women are born with a tingu. The tingu is a body part that allows for procreation. A woman’s tingu is ready for reproduction when she first menstruates. A man’s tingu is born shriveled and dried and the only way to fill it is to drink the “man milk,” or semen of other sexually mature men. They believe that by drinking the male essence of other men, the boys will become strong and virile. Done in the privacy of the forest, a boy will perform fellatio on young, usually unmarried men between the ages of 13 and 21. The boys are encouraged to “drink the male essence” as much as possible in order to become strong.

    1. +1 Purity of Essence

    2. Ah.

      No wonder these places suck in soccer.

      They’re too busy doing other stuff.

    3. Done in the privacy of the forest, a boy will perform fellatio on young, usually unmarried men between the ages of 13 and 21. The boys are encouraged to “drink the male essence” as much as possible in order to become strong.

      So Boy Scout campout?

      1. Joey, have you ever been in a in a Turkish prison?

        1. Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?

      2. Altar Boy Farm System?

      3. It’s called a Jamboree.

    4. Sounds like an Obama fundraiser.

    5. Podling essence good. Gelfling essence better.

      1. wow…PBR, you and I are evidently super nerds. Cool.

        1. Even amongst libertarian nerdom, we’re nerds apparently.

          1. Go shove some dark crystals up your anuses you nerds. *put son shiny Star Wars R2D2 lapel pin and goes to work…

            1. two words:

              Christmas Special!

            2. You just hatin’ because me and Cliche Bandit are bringing Skeksis back.

              1. Don’t forget the Gartham

            1. That is awesome.

    6. I’m sure the young, usually unmarried men between the ages of 13 and 21 get nothing out of this deal.

      1. Rhywun, you may be unfamiliar with the concept of “receiving fellatio” . . . .

        1. Geez, it’s almost like you’re claiming that this “tingu” horseshit is a cover for the young, usually unmarried men between the ages of 13 and 21 taking sexual advantage of little boys. How cynical of you.

  30. Next week Thursday I’m heading off to Detroit to see IAMX . He has a new – more electronica – album out called Metanoia

  31. Game of Thrones author George R.R. Martin may soon have another hit TV show under his belt with the HBO-owned Cinemax ordering a pilot script of a novella he wrote in the 80s.

    Titled Skin Trade, the horror novella tells the story of a young detective investigating murders in which victims are skinned.

    The story also features Martin’s signature magic and mysticism with werewolves thrown into the mix.

    So, True Detectives season 3, eh?

    1. At this point I doubt I’ll even read the goddamn books if he ever publishes them. Martin has overstayed his welcome.

      1. The hardcore fans will read the books, but there’s been enough departures from them in the TV show that reading the remaining ones, if he ever finishes them, will probably end up just confusing the more casual fans.

        I stopped reading them after Storm of Swords and read enough from the Song of Ice and Fire wiki to understand how the story is playing out without slogging through Martin’s tedious prose. I don’t give a shit about spoilers.

        1. +half a hundred pieces of boiled leather

        2. If not for Roy Dotrice I’d not have “read” the books at all. He’s superb and the books helped me ignore a solid two months of work. But unless the finale end up being a revelatory masterpiece that weaves everything together into a tremendous, mind-blowing saga rather than the slog it’s been, I’m probably taking your route.

  32. Cam Girls Are Charging Clients to Control Their Vibrators Over the Internet

    According to Storm, the most popular toys are from OhMiBod: the Club Vibe 2.Oh and the Freestyle G. Though they’re not teledildonics toys in the technical sense?both products respond to local sound input, rather than remote inputs streamed over the internet?cam girls have effectively hacked them to function that way, setting up their toys to respond to the sound generated by customer tips. The more tips a cam girl receives, the more intensely her vibrator responds, meaning the more viewers are willing to pay, the hotter a show they’ll get.

    For Chaturbate cam girls, who spend most of their time hustling for tips in “free” public rooms, this is a pretty easy way to ramp up income. As Storm explained, the OhMiBod toys “tend to encourage rapid-fire and constant tipping from viewers.”

    only posted because who doesn’t like the word teledildonics?

    1. Telechubbies.

    2. You know who else encouraged rapid-fire and constant tipping?

      1. Nebraska 4-H students?

  33. Fuck! I missed the chance to go have a good laugh this morning. I can’t believe none of my friends told me about this. I’m looking at you Tundra! We could have car pooled.

    A sunrise ceremony to celebrate Indigenous Peoples’ Day at Lake Bde Maka Ska (aka Lake Calhoun for you fucking racists). How could that not be a barrel of laughs?

    1. Is sunrise ceremony what you rebrand your event when nobody shows up that early in the morning?

      1. I think you have it that early so the local TV news programs can get good video of your event.

        I guarantee that this ceremony will lead the 5 O’clock and 10 O’clock news on each local station. It is simply hits too many liberal buttons to be ignored.

    2. “My name is David Running Horse Sawitski and I am 1/16 Cherokee Indian.”

      “Does that mean we only have to pay 1/16 attention to you?”

      1. That means you have to give free shit to this Pollak.

      2. Unfortunately the demand for attention is usually inversely proportional to the genetics

    3. Will there be human sacrifices?

      1. Only if some dumb white conservative guy shows up.

  34. seen on Drudge:

    Hillary Clinton: ‘I’m Really Not Even a Human Being’

    HILLARY CLINTON: You guys are the first to realize that I’m really not even a human being. I was constructed in a garage in Palo Alto a very long time ago. People think that, you know, Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, they created it. Oh no. I mean, a man whose name shall remain nameless created me in his garage.

    ANOTHER ROUND: Are there more of you?

    HILLARY CLINTON: I thought he threw away the plans, at least that’s what he told me when he programmed me ? that there would be no more. I’ve seen more people that kind of don’t sweat, and other things, that make me think maybe they are part of the new race that he created: the robot race.

    ANOTHER ROUND: So there’s a cyborg army is what you’re saying.

    HILLARY CLINTON: But you have to cut this, you can’t tell anybody this. I don’t want anybody to know this. This has been a secret until here we are in Davenport, Iowa, and I’m just spillin’ my electronic guts to you.

    ANOTHER ROUND: And without bourbon.

    HILLARY CLINTON: Without any bourbon. Yeah. That’s why I have to wait ’til the end of the day.

    1. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, they created it

      Bullshit. Gates and Jobs created things that people actually want.

  35. “The liquid-propelled rocket had a range of 1,700 kilometers (1,056 miles) and was accurate to within 500 meters (1,640 feet) of the target.

    While this rocket doesn’t have the ability to deliver a nuclear payload to the U.S., it isn’t just a question of what the Iranians are capable of doing today. It’s also a question of what they’ll be capable of doing in the coming years.

    It should be noted that Iran has already successfully launched satellites into space using their own multistage rockets.

    I don’t want to sound like a broken record–but the same things are true that were always true. Obama has favored his own personal political interests over the best interests of the American people on so many issues, and it’s frightening to see him fritter away what leverage we had over Iran and their NPT violating nuclear program in exchange for magic beans and a decrease in American security.

    Meanwhile, every day we get closer to the day when Iran can hit us with an ICBM.

    MAD did not bring us peace. It brought America a never ending series of proxy wars, much like the ones Iran is already fighting in Syria and against our allies in places like Lebanon and Yemen. Obama’s Iran deal isn’t going to bring us peace in our time. It’s much more likely to necessitate our involvement in a never ending series of proxy wars.

    …and that’s looking at the bright side and assuming the best of the Mullahs. The worst possible outcome is America getting nuked.

    1. Obama has favored his own personal political interests over the best interests of the American people on so many issues

      What have the American people done for him lately?

    2. The extraordinary thing about this test is the utter, public contempt they have shown Obama by blatantly violating their deal with him before the ink is even dry on it.

  36. “A new law in California prohibits public schools from using “Redskins” as a team name. Four high schools in the state will have to change their names by 2017.”

    The politicization of everything continues through the libertarian moment.

    In retaliation, I suggest all Redskins fans refrain from using “California” in the names of their fantasy teams.

    Or maybe use team names like “California Uber Asses”.

    Growing up a Redskins fan, it’s funny how things have come full circle. When I was a kid, the chorus to the team song went:

    Hail to the Redskins
    Hail victory
    Braves on the warpath
    Fight for ol’ Dixie!

    Before the NFL in 1967, the Redskins were the only team south of the Mason Dixon, and they were the team of southern pride–their games were broadcast throughout the South. They were the last team to integrate…

    Now the team’s name is being treated like the Confederate flag.

    How unironic.

    1. You ever think about how much more entertaining the game would be if they wore luchador outfits instead of pads and helmets?

    2. The whole “redskins” thing seems like another case of a bunch of shrill activists taking it upon themselves to speak for a group of people who mostly don’t give a shit.

      1. There’s any number of real Indians who have said they don’t, in fact, give a shit.

    3. Where’s the outrage over Notre Dame’s ‘Fighting Irish’ mascot? He looks like an angry leprechaun and reinforces the stereotype that those of us of Irish descent are drunken louts looking for a fight. This offends me on many levels and not just because it’s true.

      Oh, yeah. I’m a white guy so I don’t get to be a whiny pussy like these other thin-skinned groups. Never mind.

      1. Seems like most of the people whining about the Redskins are white people. (It’s OK to whine down.)

  37. President Obama said the use by Hillary Clinton of a private e-mail server while she was his secretary of state was a “mistake” but that it didn’t “endanger national security.”

    runs it through the Obamaparser….

    :::whirr—click–Let me be clear:::

    “was “intentional” and that it “greatly endangered national security.”

    1. It’s very possible that it hasn’t yet and maybe never will imperil national security, but it’s still blatantly illegal and extraordinarily stupid to boot.

    2. I literally didn’t even think about it as a national security risk until he said that.

      1. We know of one (allegedly) supersecret local source identity that was being shared by Hillary and her cronies like a passed-out freshman at a frat party, so I think the security risk is pretty well established.

        1. Although who really gives a fuck about “national security”. When they use that word they mean “our nefarious secret interests around the world that you don’t know or care about and mostly fuck you over anyway”

  38. Has Almanian been outed?

    http://fredoneverything.org/fr…..tern-some/

    Sounds like our local candidate for Pres.

    1. Hey, that guy. Looks like his website got a facelift.

    2. Fred had my vote already. This just makes me feel good about it.

    3. Social Policy: On the day of my coronation, I will undertake a sweeping reform of society, beginning with radical feminists. We will hunt them with dogs. I will save a few and chain them in the Great Dismal Swamp, where they will poison the mosquitoes, allowing civilized people to catch catfish in comfort.

      I’m sorry, Almanian, I must withdraw my support for you and back Fred. FRED 2016!

      1. We will hunt them with dogs. I will save a few and chain them in the Great Dismal Swamp, where they will poison the mosquitoes, allowing civilized people to catch catfish in comfort.

        Torturing feminists and killing mosquitoes at the same time? Take my money!

        1. Not the Dismal Swamp! That’s way too close to where i am, and the mosquitoes there can’t be killed by ANYTHING.

          1. Sounds like a swamp near which we used to have some of our soccer games when I played in a community league when I was young. The mosquitoes would emerge from it in a visible cloud. It was frightening.

    4. Too liberal for the LP, though.

    1. It’s funny when bad things happen to people I don’t like…

      1. tragedy is when I cut my finger, comedy is when a hipster falls in an open sewer and dies

  39. The president is also reportedly considering expanding background checks for gun purchases by changing federal definitions and bypassing Congress.

    Because the power to redefine the language in order bypass constitutional limitations placed upon the government is clearly granted to the Executive in the Constitution.

    1. Obama is a Constitutional scholar and smarter than all of us combined. He knows what’s best and wouldn’t be doing it if it wasn’t legal.

    2. Now, Francisco, I’m pretty sure that the power to redefine the language in order to advance current fashions in what the Constitution should say is granted to SCOTUS.

      This could be seen as an incursion on their turf, so it may not stand.

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