McCarthy Bows Out of Speaker Race, Russian Missiles Land in Iran, Okla. Executed Man with Wrong Drugs: P.M. Links

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  • Kevin McCarthy
    Rep. Kevin McCarthy

    Republican Kevin McCarthy announced he wants to remain majority leader and not be speaker of the House, and now the world is going to end. Enjoy the moments we have left.

  • U.S. officials say Russian missiles aimed at targets in Syria have landed in Iran, instead. Keep in mind these two countries are not even neighbors, separated by Iraq.
  • One of the men credited with stopping a mass shooting on a train in France was stabbed in an incident in Sacramento. He is in the hospital with serious injuries. Police do not believe terrorism is involved.
  • When Oklahoma executed Charles Frederick Warner in January, they used the wrong drugs, according to an autopsy report. The same thing apparently almost happened in Richard Glossip's case, which is why his execution has been stayed.
  • Another college party, another blackface and stereotype controversy. UCLA is the location this time.
  • Some Chicago taxis went on strike today to protest Mayor Rahm Emanuel's budget proposal that would allow ride-sharing services to get fares at the airports. Uber has apparently responded by recruiting more drivers and offering discounts to new riders. 

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  1. Republican Kevin McCarthy announced he wants to remain majority leader and not be speaker of the House…

    The GOP just can’t get Benghazi right.

    1. At this point, what difference does it make?

    2. Hello.

    3. They proved they can nominate someone worse than Boehner. Hopefully they can get serious now.

  2. Uber has apparently responded by recruiting more drivers and offering discounts to new riders.

    UNFAIR PRACTICES.

    1. Customer discounts? Ruinous competition!

    2. More drivers – more criminals who will murder even more passengers than up to now! Because that’s what Uber is, criminal enabling app!

      1. Raping and killing all your customers seems like a bad business model but, hey, Uber appears to be making it work.

        1. STEVE SMITH run Uber?

          1. STEVE SMITH DRIVE UBER, AND SOMETIMES LYFT!!! STEVE SMITH DRIVE NEAR REI AND CABELAS BECAUSE STEVE SMITH LIKE TASTE OF CAMOFLAUGE

        2. Pfft, without reams of government regulation and oversight, all companies would rape and kill their customers all the time! Get with the prog-ram.

    3. I just drove by what looked like an Uber recruitment fair, in a church parking lot near my house. They even had one of those guys standing on the corner spinning and waving a big sign. There was a small crowd at the table they’d set up.

    4. The taxi companies should know when they are beat. Everyone who isn’t a taxi driver hates taxi drivers. Even the mayors of major cities aren’t willing to go to bat for taxi drivers. They’ve literally lost all of their support over the decades by using local laws to carve out comfortable, long-term employment for themselves at the consumers’ expense. I drove by a taxi driver protest a few months back. There were only about a dozen drivers there, marching in a circle with signs. Everyone who passed by either ignored them or flipped them off. They’re done for.

      1. The Black Knight should have known when he was beat too. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

        The hacks and their owner’s won’t “know” until every relative and loan shark they know has gone broke helping them out.

  3. “Police do not believe terrorism is involved.”

    That’s not what I heard on Twitter.

  4. When Oklahoma executed Charles Frederick Warner in January, they used the wrong drugs, according to an autopsy report.

    It’s a hell of a thing, killing a man… wrongly.

    1. Hopefully an appeal will bring him back so Oklahoma can kill him the right way.

    2. There’s a Roberta Flack joke in there somewhere.

      1. Killing me wrongly with your drugs?

      2. Or Huey Lewis

        1. I want a new drug…one that will WORK!

      3. Donny Hathaway killed himself by jumping out a hotel window, not by drug overdose.

        1. We should ban hotel windows.

          1. it hasn’t stopped the enterprising Chinese sweatshop worker from what i read

  5. “When Oklahoma executed Charles Frederick Warner in January, they used the wrong drugs, ”

    *raises hand*

    What ARE the right drugs?

    1. They should just buy whatever they are prescribing in California.

      1. Weed seems like a tough way to kill a man.

        1. We won’t know until it happens for the first time.

          1. Marihuana kills, yo.

            1. I’m guessing he also liked the buttsex.

    2. If you ask Nicole “Quaaludes”

      1. I wish it wasn’t behind a paywall, but just last night I was reading a scholarly article that was a cognitive-based critique of the sociocultural understanding of second language acquisition (e.g., Lantoff and company) in which the author employed, just out of nowhere, an extended analogy concerning the “not even wrong” concept that involved a discussion comparing the arguments of two fictional people, in which one believed AIDS was caused by the HIV virus and the other by the inhalation of poppers.

        I really can’t do it justice…you just had to read it.

    3. A whole heck of a lot of morphine.

      1. You misunderstand. Thse monkeys are too incompetent to mix up solid KCl in the right dilution. They have to have it pre-mixed.

        They ordered Potassium Acetate FFS. Worse than that, the mistake went unnoticed and they utilized it.

        1. what the hell is wrong with not killing him?

    4. Heroin overdose. Go out happy.

      1. I don’t think pharmacies stock that, but yeah, morphine. And then something to stop the heart.

        But the whole point is the actually try to avoid using opiates because those sadistic bastards want the condemned to feel pain. Now, the courts take a dim view of that so they have to use some sedation.

        I should not have to write this, but I have no sympathy for murders, etc. OTOH, given the prevalence of false convictions I think we ought to err on the side of caution here. But in the end I do not trust the state with this type of power and feel we ought to stop executing. Except maybe corrupt politicians.

        1. So out with the needle and in with the woodchippers?

          Gets my vote.

    5. What ARE the right drugs?

      Rule 303

    6. They used the wrong sodium-whatchacallit

  6. U.S. officials say Russian missiles aimed at targets in Syria have landed in Iran, instead.

    Doesn’t Russia have easier ways delivering arms to Iran?

    1. Apparently a couple of cruise missiles crashed as they traversed iran on their way to Syria. Doesn’t sound like a big deal. Probably either a malfunction or perhaps shot down by small arms fire.

      More interesting is the Turkish assertion that Russia has not been hitting ISIS/ISIL targets, but rather is almost exclusively targeting Syrian opposition groups that are supported by the western coalition (primarily the US CIA).

      So the question is, why? Is it because they don’t view ISIS as an effective threat to Assad? Or is it because US support is the real sin that Putin wants to punish? Or is it because ISIS is a thorn in the side of the US? Or is it just that Turkey isn’t right about that?

      1. Demolish the the groups with US support, then you can cast the situation as Assad vs ISIS. The US is not going to come in on the side of ISIS, so Assad will remain in power.

      2. So the question is, why? Is it because they don’t view ISIS as an effective threat to Assad?

        Probably. Russia doesn’t really give a shit about ISIS, they just want to keep Assad in power in order to protect their interests (namely, their Syrian naval base, which is the only one they have on the Med).

      3. Mostly, US is hitting ISIS already, so why bother?
        That ISIS is horrifying is quite helpful, leave them as the sole alternative, and the regime looks really good to everyone.

      4. Well, its not like Turkey has been doing a whole lot of hitting of ISIS sites – they’re more concerned with shooting at the PKK.

    2. “Doesn’t Russia have easier ways delivering arms to Iran?”

      Oh, I definitely think this is not only the best way to do it, but easier also. Hell, all they have to do is push a few buttons. What good is a super expensive weapons delivery system if you aren’t going to use it?

  7. From the article:
    “Execution team members considered trying to save his life and even taking Lockett to an emergency room before he finally died, 43 minutes after his initial injection.”

    Ummm… You’re doing it wrong?

    1. What, there wasn’t a pillow in the room?

      1. +1 cuckoo’s nest

        1. Ah, Juicy Fruit

          1. What are you doin’ here? You oughta be out in a convertible bird-doggin’ chicks and bangin’ beaver.

      2. “Shane, bring Mommy a pillow.”

        1. Shaaaaaane, come baaaaaack!

    2. I hope someone uploaded the Yakety Sax version of this.

      1. Man, that just feels right. Doing CPR on a death row inmate should ALWAYS have a soundtrack.

  8. One of the men credited with stopping a mass shooting on a train in France was stabbed in an incident in Sacramento.

    Known as the Zimmerman Phenomenon.

    1. the Zimmerman Phenomenon

      Wasn’t that an episode of The Big Bang Theory?

      1. I think it was the Zimmermann Telegram.

        1. Is that when Bob told Donovan what he really thought of his schtick?

          It’s aaallll overr now, baby blue ……..

    2. Remember, his compatriot in France is an alumn of Umpqua Community College, so… I think it’s safe to say these men are a swirling vortex of tragedy and drama.

      1. It’s real-life Final Destination.

  9. Some Chicago taxis went on strike today to protest Mayor Rahm Emanuel’s budget proposal that would allow ride-sharing services to get fares at the airports. Uber has apparently responded by recruiting more drivers and offering discounts to new riders.

    Good for them, protecting consumers like that.

  10. …such as guests who apparently smeared charcoal on their foreheads to darken their faces.

    I blame Mad Max: Fury Road.

    1. You mean Mad Max: Libertopia?

    2. I can only imagine what they would think of Silver Streak.

      1. Recently watched that movie for the first time in many years. That scene would never fly today. Pity, since it’s genuinely funny and is far more insulting to whites than Blacks.

      2. Good movie. I can only imagine what Richard Pryor would think of all the “That’s not funny!” types who have taken over the culture.

        1. I can imagine him telling them all to go fuck themselves

          1. “Bill, have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up.” Eddie Murphy skit about Pryor & Cosby.

        2. I don’t think they’d dare start any of this shit while he was alive.

  11. I find that botched execution incredibly depressing.

    1. On the bright side, at least that guy isn’t practicing medicine in a hospital somewhere.

      1. AMA doesn’t allow its members to participate in executions, so this is all done by Department of Corrections staff. Including choosing the drugs.

  12. When Oklahoma executed Charles Frederick Warner in January, they used the wrong drugs, according to an autopsy report. The same thing apparently almost happened in Richard Glossip’s case, which is why his execution has been stayed

    Talk about a bad trip.

  13. “U.S. officials say Russian missiles aimed at targets in Syria have landed in Iran, instead. Keep in mind these two countries are not even neighbors, separated by Iraq.’

    The missiles were fired from ships in the Caspian Sea

    It makes more sense when you look at a map.

    1. Bearing was right, range was wrong. Happens all the time. I’m sure Iran will happily accept compensation for any damages in the form of military hardware.

      1. But 4 out of 26 missed the country they were aiming at. So much for Russian pin-point precision weaponry.

      2. Pretty sure they hit nothing but dirt.

        Russian weapons suck…when they misfire no one dies but some rabbit in some middle eastern desert.

        When American weapons miss they kill NGO aid doctors and burn patients in their beds.

    2. Of the initial 26-missile volley, the officials said, four went awry and hit northern Iran, according to technical sources of information like satellite imagery.

      Mr. Konashenkov said sarcastically that if the reports were true, “we would have to admit that the sites of the terrorist group Islamic State in Syria, located far apart from one another, just blew up on their own.”

      Man, the Russians are bad at this. The claim wasn’t that they all went awry, just four. Russia’s responding to the claims they WISH had been made…

  14. Did anyone else think that Russian missiles had landed in a place called Iran, Oklahoma?

    I thought shit just got real.

    1. It’s just Oklahoma

      1. They probably didn’t even hit anything.

      1. I was about to round up my brother and C.Thomas Howell and head into the mountains.

        1. Don’t forget Lea Thompson

  15. Okay, so executions are done in prisons or near prisons right? Denying prisoners pain medication would violate Doctor’s oaths to do no harm correct? Morphine overdoses is how medics gave soldiers mercy kills on the battlefield. Go downstairs to the infirmary. Grab morphine shot. Overdose inmate in execution chamber. Painless for the inmate with little chance of untrained folks fucking it up. Can’t be denied by drug companies without denying pain medication to all inmates. Problem solved all around.

    1. “But that’s not in the procedure!”

    2. They’re not supposed to enjoy it, dude.

    3. No doctors, see above.

      1. “Yeah boss, I went and checked. All we can come up with is a half gallon of bleach, a pint or so of acetone, some toilet bowl cleaner and a half pot of Warty’s coffee. We’re good to go!”

    4. Bullets are cheaper. Same effect.

      1. Or a captive bolt gun. The pretense of humane executions is ridiculous.

        For the record, I don’t think the government should have the authority to kill outside of declared war.

        1. This is the salient point. “Humane” mostly means “not messy and disgusting and likely to get the death penalty outlawed”.

          If “quick and painless and absolutely sure” were the sole criteria then putting them out with a sedative and then hitting them with a bolt gun would do quite nicely.

          I’ve advocated (tongue in cheek) for the use of the same method used in the egg industry for male chicks. They toss them into a meat grinder. They are completely macerated in less than a second. I’m quite sure you could adapt an industrial shredder of some sort to chop up a human body in less than a tenth of a second. Put ’em out and drop ’em in that thing. SPLAT! Guaranteed 100% painless, 100% successful and instantaneous.

          If you reject that one out of hand, then you are really only worried about optics. So you might as well jump on over to my side and oppose killing, full stop.

          1. IMO only one method beats the guillotine: popping a nuclear device over the condemned person’s head. Being blown to molecules in microseconds must be the ultimate way to exit.

        2. The pretense of humane executions is ridiculous.

          Not a fan of the Death Penalty, but I’ve never understood the need for it to be humane. It’s all about revenge so shouldn’t it be as horrible and painful as possible, like what their victims endured? And wouldn’t it be a better deterrent for would-be killers to know they faced a 12-hour torture session for their crime rather than get to fall asleep with a painless injection?

          1. It’s all about revenge so shouldn’t it be as horrible and painful as possible

            Nope, some people just need to be put down, we don’t torture the dog that has a tendency to bite. Nor should we torture the Lennie Smalls of the world, neither understands deterrence but sometimes all’s well that ends well- and quickly.

    5. Yeah, I was complaining about this below. It’s absurd that they make executions so difficult.

    6. Denying prisoners pain medication would violate Doctor’s oaths to do no harm correct?

      It is cute that you think that modern doctors take the Hippocratic Oath.

  16. Republican Kevin McCarthy announced he wants to remain majority leader and not be speaker of the House, and now the world is going to end. Enjoy the moments we have left.

    In these final moments, I am glad we are all spending it in front of a computer screen.

  17. Delicious, delicious machine guns

    And the guy’s voice is so soothing. And his hair. His beautiful, beautiful hair.

    1. And the guy’s voice is so soothing.

      Wonder what it sounds like when that hair gets caught in the belt feed. Probably something like Shrillary braying.

    2. Ian moved on from the Society for Creative Anachronism because they weren’t “Hardcore Enough” for him

    3. I like this. I have vivid dreams sometimes where I am a captain of industry in the early 20th century. All of my inventions are some form of doomsday device or pasta maker.

      1. No waffle irons?

        1. The frustration of knowing he lives to early for effective waffle iron technology is what fuels the hate-driven pursuit of doomsday pasta-makers.

    4. Awesome. And the link to Great War series is even better!

    1. It’s literally in the links.

    2. Do you even read the links, bro?

      1. NOBODY READS THE ARTICLES

        1. I THOUGHT RUSSIA WAS ATTACKING OKLAHOMA!

          1. OKLAHOMA! OKLAHOMA! OKLAHOMA!

            1. Dammit! You’ll make Bob Stoops appear!

            2. +1 genital cuff

        2. I go to nude beaches to read the articles.

        3. Apropos of the articles, I got a postcard from Playboy offering me an annual subscription at a discounted rate. The funny thing is that I was chosen because I belonged to their “preferred demographics.”

          1. Internet illiterate?

          2. Hmmm. Do you have a Playboy branded MasterCard?

          3. Ha. There’s a bit of a long story behind it but because of my father a considerable number of print advertisers think I’m old enough to be a retiree.

            Getting an AARP letter on my 30th birthday hurt.

          4. Well, in my case the “preferred demographics” apparently means gay.

      2. I skipped over that one. I have been shamed.

        1. I’m surprised you’re capable of shame.

    3. “His incredible story, which should have ended with Stone being shot in the head, ”

      I thought this was written by Sheldon Richman for a second

  18. Ah Wants Mah Monays = One of the richest guys who gives the worst investment advice sues his own company for…. ah, forget it.

    I actually like Bill Gross, but only because I think he gets really high to write his newsletter.

    1. Orange County Superior Court, eh? That’s an odd venue for that amount of money…

      1. Isn’t that what California’s trial level courts are called? Where else would it be heard?

        1. Federal Court, presumably, if for no reason other than diversity.

  19. Harry Reid suing exercise company for his injuries

    It calls the elastic resistive exercise band, the TheraBand, defective and unreasonably dangerous, particularly for the elderly, who might have trouble gripping it without handles.

    The lawsuit alleges negligence, liability and failure to warn consumers about “dangers that may result from the use or foreseeable misuse” of the Theraband.

    Or perhaps a bathroom is not the best place to do your exercise.

    1. It’s where I do my best squats.

    2. Harry Reid should sue his mother for all that drinking she did while she was pregnant with him.

    3. I would loooooove to be the defense attorney in charge of discovery.

    4. It’s a lot safer suing a rubber band company than the actual mob boss that beat the fuck out of you.

      1. mob boss that beat the fuck out of you.

        Surprised Reid’s not letting this die. Isn’t he concerned the truth will come out if he insists on pushing this? Then again, he asked for a relatively small amount so maybe he hopes they’ll settle rather than go to trial.

    5. Or perhaps it was a bad choice on the part of an elderly man who has trouble gripping it without handles.

      Naw – that would mean it was*your* fault, wouldn’t it Harry?

  20. Forget it Jake, Its Frenchy-Town

    “France’s far-right party targets Muslim vote in Paris region’

    Confused? I am.

    “That may seem counter-intuitive for an anti-immigration party whose leader, Marine Le Pen, will go on trial later this month for comparing Muslim street prayers to wartime Nazi occupation.

    But it represents just the latest step in the party’s self-declared strategy to “de-demonize” its image.”

      1. It is hoping people in under-privileged suburbs will be attracted by its campaigning on law and order

        Some of the French banlileues are essentially run under Sharia and the cops don’t even go in. Some of that population may thrive on this, but I suspect many don’t, but there is nothing they can do.

        So I can sort of see it.

        1. France should announce that the welfare budget for immigrants is now capped, and so every new immigrant or child means that everyone’s slice of pie gets a little smaller.

          Hell, we should do that.

          1. Since the new children would be citizens rather than immigrants it wouldn’t exactly do anything.

    1. Marine Le Pen, will go on trial later this month for comparing Muslim street prayers to wartime Nazi occupation.

      I might be Canadian, but it’s things like this that make me want to move to the US.

  21. Man refused service at his own pub, returns with bulldozer and flattens it, cops don’t charge him because it’s his

    A local in the village said: “It was a classic case of cutting off your nose to spite your face.

    1. Wealthy shellfish factory owner Swistun invested ?60,000 into the pub along with his business partner Colin McDonald, 59, just a year earlier

      Well, if anyone would know shellfishness, it’s him.

    2. Why didn’t he just fire the barman?

      1. Or just walk back and pour himself one….?

        1. Well, the barman may be legally obligated to not serve visibly intoxicated people. That’s the prevaling standard in the US. If someone is slurring or having trouble walking straight, they won’t get served. The server can be fined.

    3. “Now they’ll have to serve me!”

    4. But locals said Swistun left the pub after being refused a drink after the 11pm closing time.

      So, go behind the bar, get your own damn drink and explain to the staff that if they like their fucking jobs they won’t refuse to serve him again.

      1. Years of watching British television tell me that’s not quite how the pub owner/license holder relationship works. I couldn’t actually tell you how it DOES work, but I don’t think they have that kind of direct relationship.

    1. That picture of Diamond Joe with the ice cream cone… my God, what a wonderful world we inhabit.

      1. Diamond Joe with the ice cream cone

        Umm, that’s not an ice cream cone…

        /Creepy Uncle Joe

    2. I’m just happy they know Sanders is a Socialist.

      1. The interesting thing is that of all three, Clinton had the lowest number of “Don’t Know/Refused”. Everybody has an opinion on her.

  22. I still do not understand why execution has to be so difficult. 1) Use standard medical techniques to render unconsciousness. 2) Stop the heart. Neither of those things involves exotic drugs or techniques. Or just bring back firing squads, which could be done remotely, with rifles clamped to stands and pre-aimed. I blame anti-death-penalty people for doing everything they can to make it difficult.

    1. It’s deliberate. See above.

    2. Why not just give them a morphine overdose…..

      It is what they use for Euthanasia isn’t it?

    3. The non-medical folks ordered the wrong potassium. Figured it didn’t make a difference.

  23. Randy Quaid Detained in Canada

    Like the right-wing french and mulims, I don’t understand this one either. Randy wants to live in Canada. But canada has some problem with him over some property dispute thing and its all a bit of a mess. Its like Rush’s politics man, I don’t even.

    1. Sounds like they deserve each other.

      1. I’m just gonna let that slide after the game against Ireland. I understand.

        /brings Ted’s head closer to Rufus’s chest.

        Itsokay. Shhh.

    2. I only know one couple with shared delusions that rival Randy and Eva Quaid:

      My mother-in-law and her 5th husband.

    3. Rush’s politics are pretty simple. The Trees are all kept equal by hatchet, ax, and saw.

    4. He’s being investigated for the murder of thousands of alien immigrants

    1. I like how the guy’s cover drove off when the heat was on.

  24. White House says hopeful Congress will take responsible action on U.S. debt limit

    Wild Guess = “Responsible Action” is not, “Cut Spending, Pay Down Debt, Stop Bankrupting America”

    1. I welcome the volatility this will bring.

      I LOVE volatility.

  25. QUESTION TIME:

    I’ve had just about enough of DISH TV. Where I live, even if I wanted it, cable is not available.

    I believe this has been covered before, but- what should I get if I decide to go full tilt streaming? Roku?

    Also, any suggestions for motorsports? What would be even better than live stream F1 would be on demand races from Days of Yore.

    1. Netflix + sling + youtube

      It’s not perfect, especially for motorsports (no NBCSports), but it’s a start.

    2. The new Tivo Bolt looks interesting if you can get OTA broadcasts.

    3. I’ve got a Roku 3 and like it a lot. The Roku 4 with 4K just came out as well.

      1. I also really like my Roku 3, but I know nothing about streaming motorsports. I am sure you can stream that online, even if illegally.

    4. How fast is your internet?

  26. U.S. officials say Russian missiles aimed at targets in Syria have landed in Iran, instead. Keep in mind these two countries are not even neighbors, separated by Iraq.

    But if I recall correctly, they’re firing them from ships based in the Caspian Sea, which means they’re launching them over Iranian airspace to get to Syria.

    1. Russian missiles aimed at Targets in Syria

      Evidently Russians prefer shopping at Wal-Mart…

      1. There are theories that Russia is involving themselves in the Syria mess in order to advertise their new weapons.

        1. “Our cruise missiles hit the correct country almost 85% of the time!”

  27. HBO Now is available on Roku! Can finally watch all the Game of Thrones rape scenes on my TV!

    1. Dragons are engineered weapons genetically linked with the Targarians….which is why they interbreed and only some Targarian women with the right genes (X linked phenotype) can make them hatch from their eggs.

      1. bio-engineered

  28. Union-Friendly Public-Sector Czar = Corrupt Scumbag

    – in unrelated news, area stores report sudden shortage of “Shocked Face”

    “Mayor Rahm Emanuel appointed Byrd-Bennett to head the district which serves 400,000 students in 660 schools in 2012, after the first teachers’ strike in Chicago in 25 years. The SUPES contract began in 2013.

    According to the indictment, the agreement promised to pay her a percentage of the proceeds from the contracts she helped to procure.

    SUPES was paid to train principals and administrators.”

  29. I have also been waiting for the arrival on the market of what I am coming to believe is a hoax- the mythical Google chromebit, a magical computer stick which (ostensibly) plugs into the HDMI slot of a teevee or large monitor.

    I’ve been bamboozled.

  30. How fast is your internet?

    I would definitely have to upgrade from where I am now.

  31. Helpful commenters, do you have any tips for dealing with plantar fasciitis? Is a night splint my best bet? The person who recommended the night splint also finds me attractive, so I am not sure if I should believe them.

    1. Buy Birkenstocks.

    2. The Strassburg sock is what you want to get. When mine flares up, I use the sock for a couple of nights and it goes away. You just have to remember that you have it on when you get up to take a leak.

      1. I figured something like that is the direction I should be heading. Thanks.

    3. ” plantar fasciitis”

      I don’t know what that is, and when in doubt, KILL IT WITH FIRE

    4. Be a real man and stop jogging.

    5. I have flat feet. I hate wearing arch support anything even though I’m supposed to. Stretching and flexing my feet helps. I have collapsed arches so when I flex the arch magically reappears. I don’t run, ever. The elliptical machine and bicycles are my choice of cardio. Walking/hiking is okay. But seriously, fuck running.

      I’m seriously considering getting one of those marathoner stickers for my car but instead of “26.2” it will say “0.0”.

      1. ^This works best, last resort surgery.

        1. I am sure not running would help, but I am not going to do that.

    6. How do you feel about scraping your flesh with medieval looking medical tools?

      If that sounds like a hoot (and I’m sure it does) find someone who does Graston.

      Night splints and stretching/rolling your feet out on a coke bottle, frozen water bottle or a golf ball can help, but people tend to give up as soon as they feel better and then the problem comes back. Do you know if you’ve developed a heel spur (it’ll feel like a small rock is in the heel of your shoe no matter what you do)?

      1. I do not think I have a heel spur. The pain is only bad in the morning the day after an intense run, or after I run three or four days in a row. I am avoiding a medical visit partially because my doctor moved away, so I would have to find a new one. I figure I will try the golf ball/night splint for awhile, to see if that works. If the pain continues, or stops being manageable, I will see actual medical professionals.

        Jogging is the only thing that seems to keep me sane (that’s right, this is sane me), so I would like to keep it up.

        1. If you are running three, four days in a row then you probably already know this but – in case you don’t- get good , properly fitted shoes, when I took up running again after a long hiatus I had similar problems tried everything, finally paid a stupid amount of money for shoes and insoles at a store that did all that computer stuff*, and it worked, of course six months later I fell off of a ladder at broke my ankle but, hey, for six months I was running pain free.

          *only do this once, then buy the same shoes online for a fraction of the cost.

        2. 1) get your gait checked at your local running store, and buy the recommended shoes/inserts.

          At the very least, this should eliminate equipment as the cause.

          2) stretch your calves out before running. Spend extra time on them to make sure they’re not tight before you hit the road.

          3) I agree with above advice about rolling both your feet and your calves. You want to eliminate muscular issues that cause pf.

        3. Get a bike. Also deal with it sooner rather than later. If you end up with a heel spur your options start narrowing to very painful external manipulation or surgery.

          1. I also use a longboard skateboard for exercise. It’s pretty fun and in my flat neighborhood I can do a steady 12 mph. I calculate that it’s about a 4:1 mileage ratio for exercise benefit relative to running.

          2. Thanks to everyone for their suggestions. The heel spur is what I am worried about, because I know I can deal with the pain (which isn’t that bad, which probably isn’t good either) and I have learned that not dealing with pain, or any medical issue, leads to not good times.

        4. Crusty-

          Do sprint intervals up a big hill that fourth day- run up as fast as possible, walk back down, repeat… Gets you up on your toes, uses different muscles, etc.

  32. So, did you hear that they’ve cut the length of the Democratic debates from three hours to two? They decided that it was dangerous to ask elderly people to stand for so long.

    Thank you, I’ll be here all week!

  33. do you have any tips for dealing with plantar fasciitis?

    Maybe I’m thinking of something else, but isn’t that helped by stretching? (as in manipulating the bones of the foot in relation to one another?

    1. Stretching helps, but the main culprit is the overnight healing of the torn muscles in a shortened position. When you get up and stand on the foot the next morning, it tears them again. First time I had it, I thought my foot was broken it hurt so bad.

  34. rolling the bottom of my foot with a golf ball or lacrosse ball several times a day.

    That’s what I was thinking of.

    1. Mmm…yeah. Feels good.

  35. U.S. officials say Russian missiles aimed at targets in Syria have landed in Iran, instead. Keep in mind these two countries are not even neighbors, separated by Iraq.

    Lord almighty.

    Now we’ll have to invade Iran to protect it from the Russians.

  36. Hey I found one of those mythical Trump supporters in the wild…

    Guess what he said?

    ” [?] Aroteas_Forgehammer 2 points (+5|-3) 20 hours ago

    Rand Paul is the man. But Trump is even better!”

    https://voat.co/v/politics/comments/571820

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL

  37. Let me try and think up some NON-offensive party themes for frats and sororities.

    …wow, this is taking some time…

    …still thinking…

    Oh, yes, a dunking booth with a white guy in it.

    Or instead of “pin the tail on the donkey,” “pin the blame on the honky.”

    Ooh, a sorority can do a drunken, half-naked slut-walk at 2 AM in the bad part of town. Nobody would *think* of criticizing that, it would be blaming the victim.

    Oh, a black *conservative* theme party. They can be as offensive as they want, dressing up as Thomas Sowell and Clarence Thomas, and nobody will mind.

  38. Wouldn’t the “wrong drugs’ keep him alive? They can’t be too wrong if they worked.

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