Another Obama Cabinet Member Bites the Dust, Sperm-Protein Blocker Could Lead to Male Birth Control, Half of U.S. Down On Supreme Court: P.M. Links

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Stockton's Penson Struggles Offer Lessons for California—Problems not going away. By Steven Greenhut

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The War on Sex Trafficking is the New War on Drugs: Anti-trafficking efforts include everything from offering or soliciting paid sex, to living with sex worker, to running a classified advertising website. By Elizabeth Nolan Brown & Joshua Swain

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  1. Japanese researchers aim to make a male birth control pill that works by blocking a specific protein found in sperm.

    I thought the Japs were dangerously low on reproduction as it is.

    1. Maybe they’re trying to use reverse psychology.

      “They don’t want us to impregnate? Well I’ll show THEM!”

      1. Do sexbots dream of electric IUD’s?

        1. H&R Competition! UnCivil Servant, Injun, SugarFree – here is the title for your next novella. GO!

    2. Hello.

      “Crusty Juggler|10.2.15 @ 10:25AM|#

      Hay Rufus I like u alot. UR funneh. U want 2 go too Bennigans???? i heard they gots alot of good food their.”

      What do I do?

      1. Lie back and think of Quebec!

        1. Come down and you’ll get happy,
          A good time with good friends,
          A night you’ll sure remember,
          Come down to Bennigan’s!

          /jingle

      2. Well, you have to go because rejecting Crusty’s poor writing skills would be racist. You don’t want to be a racist, do you?

      3. Ask him for a picture.

        If he’s hot go. If he’s ass ugly make an excuse, “I’d love to met you Crusty but am having my dog castrated that day. 🙁 Sorry.”

        1. Or in Crusty’s language:

          Id luv 2. Bennigans have gud food, sure. Cant tho. Dog balls takin off.

        2. On can only hope that “sorry” was intended for the dog.

      4. Take one for the team?

      5. Every one of you big ol meanies would be flattered if I agreed to let you buy me a drink at Bennigans, if those even exist anymore.

        1. I’d buy you many, and stand by camera at the ready.

          Worth it.

          1. Camera at the ready to observe the elegant way I slug down free drink after to free drink, I assume?

            1. Sure. Yeah, we’ll go with that. It’s not as if I’m the kind of person who would get you loaded and then see what you’d do for lulz.

      6. Join that MRA group ENB was whining about that has sworn off women.

    3. Does this have any affect on tentacles?

    4. About time we guys get the right to not be forced to be a parent. But will we need out wives/girlfriends permission to use it, like vasectomies?

      1. You actually have an option that prevents becoming a parent already.

        You just won’t like it.

        1. You actually have an option that prevents becoming a parent already.

          Actually, there are several. And yes, I don’t like any of them.

        2. Really? I thought most dudes liked giving facials.

          1. Really? I thought most dudes liked giving facials.

            Absolutely. But how do you stop her from slipping some down there when she gets up to wash her face?

            1. You have the other girl lick it off….duh!

              1. Yeah, but what about when she goes down on my girlfriend afterwards? Didn’t think of that, did you smarty pants?

                1. Not my fault you didn’t write up a sex itinerary.

                  1. Tell that to the judge as he hammers down on your paycheck.

        3. Some doctors require a notarized signature from the wife. Not all, but some.

          1. Doctor’s require a note for celibacy?

            1. For snipping. I know, I just had the consult.

              1. I’d like to think I kick started this conversation.

              2. An unmarried friend of mine tried to get one, but no doctor would do it. They all said he’d regret someday.

                1. Jesus Christ, they are allowed to refuse service? He should have accused them of being racists or something.

                  1. He needs to claim to be homosexual, then someone would force a doctor to do it.

          2. This always seemed hypocritical since women don’t need their husband’s permission to get an abortion. I don’t know what the solution is, but some consistency would be nice.

            1. Its not a legal requirement that wives consent to a vasectomy.

              I have no idea why so many doctors require it. They probably (stupidly) believe its legally required.

              1. In Ted’s defense, it is 50, windy, and raining, and I would not want to grill outside either.

                A cast iron skillet is a good investment, and they are not expensive.

                1. I placed this comment perfectly.

              2. It saves money on legal fees having to go and defend their very defensible position. Instead, they just fax the wife’s attorney a copy of the approval and be done with it.

                1. What legal fess? Where’s “my body, my choice”?

              3. They do it because the wives occasionally try to sue them a few years later.

                At least that was what my urologist told me when I went to get one.

            2. My doctor didn’t mention my wife. He definatey discussed being really sure
              which of course I was. No regrets.

        4. Stop with the gay stuff already.

    5. Ok seriously their fertility rates are already so low. I mean what has better odds for surviving into the next century panda bears or Japanese people?

      1. Japanese people live pretty old. Some of the current ones will still be around next century.

    6. True. I wonder how much of a game-changer effective male birth control will be. I think the men smart enough to use birth control are already smart enough to avoid getting a woman pregnant unintentionally.

      1. Male smarts are very situationally dependent.

  2. The Chicago Reason meet-up is a go! The hive mind has spoken (so like me and two others), and we will be meeting at Hopleaf in Andersonville on October 18 at 12:30.

    The Bears are awful, NFL in general is just awful, I’m in three fantasy football teams and have at least 30% of my players injured already and lost almost all interest in it, and there’s a huge selection of beers and other alcohol (including Mal?rt!!!) available to drown our sorrows about whatever. Bring whomever you’d like. I assure you I can hold conversations that aren’t political in nature if you’re nervous about bringing significant others or friends to a first-time meeting of internet commenters (and as I typed that out I’m realizing how difficult it will be to sell this to non-Commentariat persons).

    Signing off, or whatever people say after one of these announcements.

    P.S. Feel free to email me if you have any questions, etc. I don’t get to be on here as much as I’d like, hence why these postings have been sorta sporadic.

    1. I assure you I can hold conversations that aren’t political in nature if you’re nervous about bringing significant others or friends to a first-time meeting of internet commenters

      I promise this is true.

      generic Brand is awesome! He’s a good time! He’s all right!

      Come see us.

      1. DORK FEST ALERT

        1. They’ll probably talk about books and shit. WTF

          1. We just passed around naked pictures of various commenters at our last meetup.

            1. Forward the good ones to me. Forward the uggos to iamnotjoebiden(at)whitehouse.gov

                1. In that context, it looks like hard rod 17

          2. We are going to have Malort and descend into alcohol filled contempt for humanity and generalized self-loathing.

            1. In other words, an average evening.

          3. Books?!? NERRRRRRDS!!!

          4. FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGS

        2. Do you mind sending the rest of us a summary?

          1. Pix or it will never have happened.

            1. It would seem that Playa has this part covered exposed.

            2. And not those nice pix with everyone posed and smiling. The real pix with everyone drunk, urinating on the sidewalk, vomiting in their hair, and punching the bouncer.

              Although, on second thought, don’t send a pic of Nicki urinating on sidewalk. It would be the worst.

              1. Very few women can pull off the full squat and pee gracefully.

                1. Even fewer men can – trust me.

                  1. A little bit of number 2 always slips out.

                  2. I guess you’ve never been to Burma.

      2. I was looking forward to proving at-least two female libertarians exist – but will be in Minneapolis on the 18th.

        You guys need to check the nerd Meeting/Events calendar next time!

    2. Sorry I have my twins over that day.

      1. Why is it not… Froderick?

  3. There’s not much to crow about in the latest jobs report.

    The long summer of recovery had to end sometime.

  4. Fifty percent of Americans are not happy with the U.S. Supreme Court right now.

    At least it’s not a 5-4 split.

    1. I think the real headline shocker is that 50% of Americans are happy with the Supreme Court.

  5. Anybody got any good, *easy* recipes for lamb chops? I bought a package on sale, but am not the world’s greatest cook.

    1. Brush with olive oil. Coat with black pepper and rosemary leaves (the oil helps that stick to the meat). Grill or broil.

        1. take it off the grill at 130 and let it rest.

          1. Too cold to grill. 🙁

            1. Set your oven to broil. Turn once. See other advice here for cook time, internal temp, etc.

              1. This is what at I do for steaks. I don’t even bother searing them. They sear themselves under the broiler. I set the broiler to high, open windows, take down the smoke detectors, and broil. It only takes a few minutes per side, but it smokes up the house something fierce. The steaks come out tender and juicy every time though.

                1. Try this method Juice. It’s better than broiling especially if it’s a thick steak.

                  Sear the meat on both sides to desired sear in a cast iron pan. Then pop into the oven on bake for the required time to finish it off as desired.

                  A meat thermometer or experience is handy in getting it perfectly cooked the way you like.

                  Anything above medium rare is racist.

            2. Too cold to grill. 🙁

              What the fuck does that even mean? You have a heat source right there.

              1. The grill doesn’t retain the heat very well in cold windy conditions.

                1. Well, then, in that case you are much better off broiling.

                  1. And you’d be even better off moving to a decent climate.

        2. Depends on how thick they are and how well done you like your meat.

          Unlike pork you can eat rare lamb so it could be anywhere from 3 to about 6 minutes a side.

          1. I’ve eaten raw pork and lived.

        3. Lamb chops should be medium rare, so no very long at all depending on thickness. Is it a rack or individual chops?

          The racks at Costco are awesome – a family favorite.

          1. The racks at Costco make a great appetizer. I have 2 in my fridge right now.

            1. When you say ‘racks’ you’re talking about racks of lamb, right? Not some poor Costco cashiers rib cage?

              1. Yes. The New Zealand rack of lamb wrapped in 2 layers of plastic. It’s about 2 lbs, including fat and bone. Like I said, a great appetizer.

                1. Yes. I also love their ribeye steaks.

                  1. I go blue tray on the steaks. Also, short ribs.

                    If I have company, I’ll get an entire tenderloin and break it down, but that’s a lot of work.

              2. There are a lot of Polynesians working at my local Costco, however.

                If I went cannibal, I’d start there.

                1. COSTCO is hell on earth. I make my wife go, whenever I’m in there I’m just one mouth breathing, ham planet standing in the middle of the fucking isle eating a goddamn free sample of a cinnamon roll away from losing it.

                  1. COSTCO is hell on earth.

                    You have to go the moment Costco opens before the sample people finish setting up. Once they begin handing out samples the place grinds to a halt.

              3. Not some poor Costco cashiers rib cage?

                Well, not her rib cage, exactly.

          2. The nearest Costco is 75 miles away from me. 🙂

            1. Ted,

              Adams Fairacre Farms has a great selection of meats (and fruits and vegetables), and their prices are always pretty low. They even have a good amount of pre-seasoned and prepared food, which you would have to cook yourself, but it is an easy way to eat well and learn the basics.

              I know there is one in the general area where you live.

        4. if you have a cast iron skillet, try this.

          put the skillet in the oven and pre-heat to 350.
          when it reaches temp, take it out*. put over a medium heat on the range. 2-3 minutes a side and back in the oven for about 5.

          *and it’s going to fucking hot. so use an oven mitt.

          1. No cast iron skillet.

            1. Buy one ASAP. Kitchen necessity.

            2. any oven safe saute pan then. or frying pan. the idea is you’re doing to sear the meat with the heat from the pan and then finish it off in the oven so it doesn’t dry out.

              essentially this. http://www.bonappetit.com/reci…..lamb-chops

              i do it at 350 cause i like it more rare

            3. What’s the point of cooking if you don’t have a cast-iron skillet?

            4. WHUT! Are you a heathen?

              If you don’t have any other cooking utensils; you should have a cast iron skillet and a sharp knife.

              Anything not cooked in the skillet can be skewered with a stick (see sharp knife) and cooked over open flame.

              1. I inherited the kitchen from Mom. I lived with my parents for several years after Mom was diagnoses with Alzheimer’s. We may have had a cast iron skillet, but my sisters helped clean our the junk after Mom died. (She was a hoarder.) If there was a cast iron skillet, it was probably old and crappy.

                And I said I’m not a very good cook.

                1. You can always re-season a cast iron skillet.

                  Get better at cooking.

                2. And I said I’m not a very good cook.

                  Practice! It’s fun, usually…

            5. No skillet.

              My (small) skillet (technically, a frying pan, but everyone calls them skillets) is the very first piece of kitchen equipment I ever bought. I still own it. It may be the only thing I owned at age 21 that I still own.

              No skillet. I mean, I just can’t even . . .

          2. Get one at Harbor Freight Tools. They are really cheap there.

    2. Olive oil, lime, garlic, salt, pepper, rosemary, sage. Maybe even paprika.

        1. I SAID IT WAS OPTIONAL.

      1. Are you going to Scarborough Fair?

    3. do not over cook it. rare to medium rare.

      1. Are you crazy? Lamb is made out of pork!

        1. Keep what you do to your lambs to yourself!

    4. May I make a suggestion toward the general preparation of all meats that I have found to work quite well? The night before or the morning of the day that you will cook the meat, take it out of the packaging and dry it off with paper towels. Then lay it on a plate or platter on top of paper towels. Season it. Coat it well with kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper (or whatever) maybe some garlic powder or onion powder. Whatever seasoning you had planned do it well in advance. Now let it sit uncovered in the fridge for many hours (overnight or all day). You want the surface of the meat to be dry and the seasoning to seep into the meat, especially the salt.

      When you’re ready to cook it, dry it off again if it has a little glisten, but it shouldn’t. Spread or spray olive oil all over it.

      Lamb chops, depending on their size, will need time to cook, so I’d suggest the old sear and roast method. Ideally do it in a big cast iron skillet. Get the skillet nice and hot over a med high flame. Sear it well all over, then roast in the oven at about 350-375 F for about 20-25 minutes for a medium rare to medium cook.

      1. second this. i also take the meat out of the fridge about 30 mins before cooking it. let it come up to room temp.

        1. I read that this doesn’t actually make a difference. 30 minutes isn’t nearly enough time for the center of the meat to come up to room temp. It’ll only be a few degrees above fridge temp. It’ll take hours outside the fridge for the center to come up to room temp and that might not be the most sanitary thing to do. Also, the difference between fridge temp and room temp (~25-35 deg) is much smaller then the difference between room temp and final cooked temp (~75-100 deg). I’ve read that it’ll cook more evenly if you just take it out of the fridge and start cooking it within a few minutes. I personally haven’t noticed any difference between letting it sit on the counter for an hour and starting the cooking a few minutes out of the fridge.

      2. I was planning the lamb for Sunday dinner. Thanks for the heads up.

      3. What I do with steaks before I grill them is this:

        (1) Make a 50/50 mix of corn starch and salt.

        (2) Rub each side of the steak with the mix.

        (3) Put on wire rack and put in freezer for half an hour or so.

        (4) Take out and put immediately on the grill.

        This lets you get that good char/crust on the outside, without overcooking the inside. You get that good crust, and a nice medium rare inside. Since the first time I tried it, I haven’t done it any other way.

        1. Steaks 1-1/4 to 1-1/2″ thick.
          Room temp.
          Plenty of mesquite; get the cast-iron grill on early enough so *it* starts the cooking.
          Baste steaks with melted butter/olive oil mix.
          Put ’em on, let it blaze. Baste the top sides, leak a little over the edge to keep the flames going.
          Turn, baste more if required.
          Remove when rare (poke ’em; a bit of resistance); age a couple of minutes under tin foil. Spread butter on top, serve.
          BTW, treat yourselves; get some decent steak knives.

    5. Greek style. Oil, lemon, garlic, oregano, onion, and pepper. Don’t be stingy with the salt.

      1. Greek style

        You need to keep what you do to your lambs to yourself, as well!

        1. That’s why Scotland has so many cliffs. Face the sheep towards the cliff, and you can get some nice pushback.

          1. The cliffs are man made?

            1. I can’t rule it out.

              Maybe it’s just one of those wonderful coincidences.

        2. In case you’re a Muzzie, Islam forbids eating any animal that you have had sex with.

      1. Rumors? Were there at least 2 witnesses?

    6. You need this seasoning in your kitchen: http://www.walmart.com/ip/22557274

      Put it on everything from now on.

      1. I thought you didn’t like corn starch?

        1. Corn starch is for thickening sauces. At least, that’s what I use it for. So Greek seasoning is corn starch? Wait a minute… what?

          1. Corn starch is cheap, produces a cheap and easy “crust-like” caramelization* for those with little patience, and thickens the juices. Also, it is cheap. Did I mention cheap?

            Grocery store seasoning blends, gravy mixes, flavoring packets… generally a couple pennies’ worth of cornstarch, too much salt and a little of what you would have added at home if you had any sense in the first place. Sold to you at 300%+ mark-up.

            Not that I judge on seasoning blends. I buy Old Bay with great enthusiasm.

            *Technical term.

      2. I recently tried some spice rub on the word of an old Jewish guy at a local market where I get some good cuts of beef and he’s always telling me to rub the beef down in this spice rub. So I finally tried it and fuck, man, this is some good shit for beef.

    7. Do you have a cast iron skillet?

      If not…

      Do you have a George Foreman?

      1. Yes on the George Foreman, but I’ve never used it.

        1. Read the instructions (if they’re there). It may have times for lamb chops. I’m recommending a contact grill as it will sear/brown the exterior of the chops without cooking them too much.

          Season the chops with salt and pepper. seasoning salt etc, refrigerate seasoned chops for a while (normally I’d say bring to room temp but you’re trying to stay medium rare or so) wipe the foreman clean, plug it in until it heats up, cook chops one at a time (assuming it’s a small Foreman or larger chops). Enjoy. Serve with a flavored rice mix and a steamed or sauteed vegetable.

          You likely can find lamb chops on a George Foreman instructions on the internet if your manual doesn’t have them.

          Cleaning tip:(assuming this is the small cheap Foreman most people have) when you go to clean up you can’t immerse your contact grill. Fold a couple of paper towels, soak them thourougly and “cook” them briefly. It should remove much of the crud from your contact grill and make wiping it clean much easier.

    8. Rub w rosemary & thyme, then broil on a rack in a broiler or rotisserie. How long depends how you like it.

      1. Want something to go w it? Mince raw garlic & red radishes, about 4:1 by vol. Stir in just enough mayonnaise to coat the mixture. Then let it sit in the refrigerator as long as you want. 1 hr. & it’s relish-like & not too “hot”. 4 hrs. & it’s “hotter” & wetter. Overnight it becomes very saucy & “hot”. The mixture goes w any kind of meat (hooved, feathered, finned? any kind of eats from the animal kingdom, it seems. However, it will give you plenty of gas from both ends.

  6. A Federalist writer makes the bold (and 100 percent correct) case that mayonnaise is the worst condiment.

    There aren’t that many condiments from which to choose, are there?

    1. He clearly missed pickle relish.

      1. Pickle relish is awesome! What on earth is wrong with you?

        1. Pickle Relish is a specialist, it works really well on some things (Hot dogs and Hamburgers) and it really sucks on others (Deli sandwiches)

          1. Well, I don’t recall using it for anything *other than* hamburgers and hot dogs.

        2. Dill pickle relish is awesome.
          Sweet pickle relish is for immature palates.

          1. When I moved to DC, I noticed that dill relish was in short supply and there is a huge glut of sweet relish. Ugh. Sometimes a store will have shelves of sweet and zero dill. Pathetic. I really only use it in tuna salad though.

    2. virtually all of the other condiments actually contain flavor. Why not consider mustard?

      Who eats mayonnaise without any mustard in it?

      1. I guess Miracle Whip doesn’t count as mayonnaise.

        1. Miracle Whip is some kind of concoction made primarily of rancid horse cum. So no, it is not mayonnaise.

        2. It does not count as food.

        3. No, Miracle Whip does not count as mayonnaise.

        4. They can’t legally call it mayonnaise. So they don’t.

          1. At least Miracle Whip is “fraud-free”, unlike some cosmobomination of a condiment that SHALL NOT BE NAMED.

            1. And Miracle Whip didn’t try to lobby for the rules to be changed. While gross, they are OK in my book.

              1. I’m the only one I know that likes it, probably because that’s all my dad would buy growing up.

                1. Try Hellman’s. You’ll change your mind.

                  1. Hellmans? Don’t you live “West of the Rockies”?

                    1. Yeah, but RBS is in SC. We have Best Foods instead.

                    2. In which case, he should be eating Blue Plate not Unilever’s mayo substitute.

                    3. If you had a small grocery located right on the western continental divide you could offer both Hellman’s and Best Foods. The tourist trade could be awesome.

    3. No way. Ketchup is the worst. It’s such a cop-out.

      1. Ketchup is basically wax with tomato flavoring. Even Miracle Whip is better than ketchup.

        1. YOUR FACE IS BETTER THAN KETCHUP. No, wait…

        2. The Trader Joe’s organic ketchup is excellent, BTW. Best I’ve gotten from a store.

      2. Catsup is a vegetable (according to congress) made from a fruit.

      3. Ketchup is the finest vegetable on Earth. Heinz 57 Forever!

    4. This is person is wrong. The worst condiment is obviously yellow mustard. The worst article is ‘An’.

    5. Mayonnaise is the worst condiment because it’s not a condiment.
      Mayonnaise is essential to many fine dishes. Not the least of which is the BLT, the best sandwich.

      1. Best sandwich?? I’m guess you’re unfamiliar with a properly made reuban

        1. Best sandwich?? I’m guess you’re unfamiliar with a properly made reuban

          You spelled B?nh m? incorrectly.

          1. He didn’t spell reubEn right either!

          2. +1 BBQ pork banh mi.

            1. Mystery pate and cold-cut combination banh mi or go home.

        2. A properly made reuben has Russian or Thousand Island dressing, and the primary component of both is mayonnaise.

          Mayo wins again. It has no rivals.

      2. Let’s not start this mayo thing again.

        1. Too late. It’s in the PM Links.

          Elizabeth Nolan Brown wants everybody to know how wrong she is.

        2. Sloopy has explained to us a thousand times that only artisinal, organic, non-GMO, gluten-free, fair trade, bird-safe, mayo is appropriate for free-range, dolphin-safe, sustainably-caught, local, wild tuna fish sandwiches.

          1. Sloopy lives in TEXAS now, so he probably puts BBQ on it.

            1. And makes his tuna sammich out of brisket!

              1. He just uses chicken of the land.

                1. In Texas that is known as “snake”.

      3. Mayo is one of the most disgusting things on earth. I would never inflict that kind of punishment on bacon. If you insist on adding something creamy (insert joke here) to your BLT, use avocado.

        In all other cases, BBQ sauce is king. And those friggin’ nutjobs in Alabama that make a mayo-based BBQ: pure insanity.

        1. And the best barbecue sauce is ketchup.

        2. The mayo-based white sauce is applied to smoked chicken as it is eaten. Any other use of Alabama white sauce is some BBQ-competition perversion. Never eat at a BBQ joint that displays competition trophies.

      4. If it doesn’t have a quarter pound of meat, it isn’t a sandwich. It’s just bread with something else on it.

    6. What do you expect from a ‘geer? He probably has an electrolytic capacitor that he uses for a taste bud.

      Mayonnaise rocks, not least because it accepts almost infinite flavourings, much like chicken breasts. Curry mayo on Belgian fries cooked in horse fat is one of the sublime experiences of mankind.

      Bitches.

  7. China Just Opened A Communist Party Theme Park

    Theme parks are booming in China right now, thanks to the rise of the country’s middle class…And instead of roller coasters, waterslides and people dressed up as movie characters, the park features 29 statues of “great Communist figures” with 100-character-long biographies.

    1. I would fill out the necessary forms to requisition a bullet to shoot myself if I lived there.

      1. They’ll add it to the bill on checkout, right under the resort fee.

    2. How many slaves did it take to build the park?

    3. ISIS has opened their own theme parks as well.

      The parks, situated in the Iraqi city of Fallujah and the Syrian city of Raqqa, were reportedly opened last week to mark the celebration of Eid.

      In a series of photos, young revellers appear to enjoying a series of rides – including spinning teacups, a big wheel and a miniature train line.

      1. That’s a step up from Al Queda. All I ever saw those guys play on was the monkey bars.

      2. “And this part is like the mechanical duck thing, except you shoot Jews, Christians and Yezidis instead of ducks.”

        “Wow, those model Jews, Christians and Yezidis sure look lifelike!”

        “Yeah, lifelike.”

        1. And they’re very deathlike if you hit them.

    4. So it’s a Theme party?

    5. Outstanding.

      What will they call the part of the park where they kill millions?

      1. “Take your clothes off here.”

        “Yipee!”

    6. The lines must be ridiculous.

  8. Today I learned what meowmeowbeenz are.

    Who else learned something new today?

    1. Please stop what you’re doing and start watching Community because it’s awesome. Or it was. Not really once it left regular TV, but still.

      1. I will not. I tried and couldn’t handle the shittiness that is that show.

  9. Because it caused brain damage in people, I think I will slip this comic into PM links, as the kid slipped candy bar into pool in Caddyshack.

    Are you strong enough to read the whole thing?

    1. Unconscious self-parody is the cruellest, and therefore funniest, form of humor.

    2. I’m a survivor!

      1. So, if you have a relationship of the sort that has existed on this planet for millenia and involved tens of billions of people, you’re some overprivileged oppressive asshole, and if your entire life is just about fucking whoever you want at the drop of a hat, and ducking out the door if there’s ever unpleasantness or responsibility, you are the wonderful way of the future and people should trumpet your lifestyle?

        Got it.

        1. Do you have a point?

          1. Yes. A very good one. Did you miss it?

    3. No, so tell me whether it’s serious.

      1. Feminists are not known for having senses of humor, Eddie. Yes, that is real.

      2. I have no idea if that’s a parody site, but I doubt it. In fact, I intend to weaponize it. In weeks past, I tried to counter daily Trumptardation through pictures of eastern and central European female athletes. Forget that. Every Trump article shall be answered with a link to Everyday Feminism!

        1. Um…thanks, I guess?

        2. I don’t think Everyday Feminism was intended as a parody site. I think the folks behind it take themselves very seriously. As for other people’s impression of the site….

    4. I made it until that popup about courses in “self love” with “scholarships available” was visible. Then I fed my computer into a woodchipper, fed the pieces into another woodchipper, poured gasoline over everything and threw a match.

      1. Wuss. You should have tried to sign up for a course.

        1. I’m a white, middle class, cis male. The only way they could hate me more is if a zero got added at the end of my salary.

          1. I didn’t say they’d let you in, I just said you should try. You know, for the lulz.

          2. Ooh! Good idea!

            *Adds a zero to the end of salary*

            Now I can get another ivory backscratcher!

    5. Brilliant! It combines the ham-fistedness of a Chick tract with the narcissistic self-indulgence of The Vagina Monologues.

      1. That’s a quite apt description, HM. Well done.

        1. Thank you.

          I have my moments.

    6. If you can’t be bothered to fuck a member of the same sex, then you’re not really a progressive feminist.

      1. If you like penises, you’re basically suffering from false consciousness imposed by the patriarchy. /s

    7. So we’re calling those *comics* now??

      (quietly prints a copy and preserves in plastic comic sleeve, dreaming of the day he can auction off his mint condition number 1 at Christie’s)

    8. Wait, they’re arguing that the reason you form non-traditional relationships should be to challenge the status quo? Not because you actually want that kind of relationship?

      1. Why not just fuck a cow? I mean, that’s some seriously anti-status quo edge lord shit, right there.

        1. OH MY GOD, NUMBER 5!

          No human being has a relationship like that! “Oh yeah, what the fuck ever, man, if you just want to leave me whenever that’s okay because I wasn’t fulfilling your needs. If you want to just fuck off to Nepal for 2 years with no consideration of my feelings, that’s alright.’

        2. Why not just fuck a cow?

          And by “cow” you mean feminists, right?

    9. Is there a style that cures cancer?

      Number 3: Styles that don’t police sexual or romantic desire

      Yeah, because it’s so difficult for me to think up a sexual or romantic desire that an Everyday Feminism writer would want to police.

    10. I think this is just another example of left-wing prudishness. My wife and I are into hot-wiring. Why? Because it makes for HOT SEX! And yet we love each other. But this feminist nonsense is about taking the fun out of it. This genderqueer stuff isn’t about enjoying sex with both sexes. After all, we didn’t need another name for bisexuality. It is about social and political bullshit.
      I hate the feminist left as much as the socon right for trying to ruin sex.

      1. The fuck is hot-wiring?

        1. I found this and I still don’t know.

      2. It is where you connect your nipples to the car battery……

        Actually it is supposed to be ‘hot-wifing’

    11. There is a great deal of insanity in a modern, affluent nation.

      Yesterday I read about a women who intentionally blinded herself because she wanted to be blind. Today I read the hardships endured by those in non-privileged, non-monogamous relationships.

      1. You need to educate yourself, not blinly nod at privileged non-monogamous relationships.

        But now I wonder, are they racists? Where’s the “one man and up to four wives” as practiced by some vibrant, lively and historically opressed cultures? Why are they flaunting their colonialist privilege?

        1. You didn’t notice the hijab-ed polyamorous woman in a same-sex foursome in panel 16?

          Because that’s a thing that happens.

          1. OOOOH! It’s a hijab, not a hoodie!

            Now, they just need a bearded male and they shall be freed from scourge of racism!

            1. I thought they had just up to 4 beards?

        2. Just FYI: I used to be friends with a polygamous Arab Muslim; Ali Al-R. was his name. He had a wife in Al-Jubail and a wife in Safwa, KSA. A good guy, but I’d say his non-monogamous relationship was anything but feminist. Ali used to joke about how he’d stay with his wife in Al-Jubail until she started bitching about something or another, and then would go to his wife in Safwa. Then he’d stay with his wife in Safwa until she’d start bitching about something or another, and then go to his wife in Jubail. By then, his wife in Jubail would be happy to see him, or would at least be happy to get some of his money.

          This is a no-shit true story.

      2. I can empathize with her. I saw a picture of Lena Dunham in her underwear a few days ago.

    12. I made it to the end.

      Now I will watch this many, many times to cleanse any thoughts of that cartoon from my memory.

    13. everydayfeminism.com into the filter.. thanks!

  10. A Federalist writer makes the bold (and 100 percent correct) case that mayonnaise is the worst condiment.

    Seriously, worse than relish?

    1. Fucking A, right on.

    2. Worse than Vegemite?

  11. “Where the fuck does the public think news comes from?”

    Twitter feeds?

    1. FoE,

      The article ENB provided a link to is, in my opinion, a series of excuses for “journalists” to act in horrid ways for the benefit of the insatiable public for whom they labor.

      Of course, I wouldn’t mind several other perspectives on Mr. Cooke’s article.

      1. There’s something to be said for that. I didn’t read the article but paparazzi come to mind. We crave those celeb photos and don’t care how that sausage gets made.

      2. I agree, Charles.

        “We’re scummy, but you made us be scummy, which is why we are scummy. For you.”

        The Oregon shooting shines a spotlight on how instantly distasteful news reporters can be.

        Also, I know there is not one definition of journalism, but it would be interesting to hear opinions of what each journalist thinks journalism is.

  12. Excuse me. Mayonnaise is the best condiment. This includes its various forms such as aioli, remoulade, etc. Yellow mustard is the worst. Kills everything it touches.

    1. I would like to cosign this comment with an honorary mention for ketchup.

      1. True. Ketchup is for little kids and no one else.

      1. Really. It seems there are two types of people, those that love mayo and those that are wrong.

        1. Blah!! I’m pretty sure mayonnaise is French for semen.

        2. I don’t mind, mayo..but it’s not the best condiment. Sriracha sauce is the best condiment. Indeed, anything mayo does, Sriracha mayo does better. FACT!

          1. This is the most sense I’ve ever heard you make.

            Not that you’re terribly nonsensical to begin with.

            1. I need to drink more then.

              BTW, I sent you that Steam invite… Dr. Fu Manchu if you didn’t know who it was.

              1. I dig it! I’ll accept it next time I sign in to Steam.

                But don’t let that stop you from drinking more.

            2. Nothing better on night market fried squid.

          2. anything mayo does, Sriracha mayo does better

            I eat spoonfuls of mayonnaise unprompted, and I completely agree with this.

          3. I don’t get the Sriracha hype. It’s aight, but to me it’s just another hot sauce.

            1. Depends on the Sriracha, some are so much more flavorful than just another hot sauce. Some are truly awful.

              1. Indeed. The wife makes her own, and with Thai-style steamed chili bass it is divine!

    2. You monster!!

    3. It is a basic sauce. It is supposed to add fat to othewise dry ingredients and catch and enhance their flavor, not add it’s own.

    4. Yellow mustard is the worst.

      I take it you don’t grill brats.

      1. I would use dark chunky mustard on those. Mustard is good, just not the yellow kind. I asked a German what kind of mustard he has with his brats and he was revolted by the thought entirely. shrug

  13. The ones contacting victims are almost always young, resting at the bottom of the journalism totem pole. Because no one wants to do this. Getting facts is shit work.

    Which is why I suppose the more popular the news organization, the fewer the facts.

  14. Rufus is thinking of moving into HR.

    Think it’s up my alley?

    1. Good god, man, have the parents finally driven you mad?

      1. I need a new challenge. I figure my anti-authoritarian streak would mesh well in HR.

        No?

  15. Garrell James may spend 30 years in federal prison for driving a sex worker across state lines while illegally possessing a firearm.

    Caught up in the War on Guns and the War on Sex Trafficking. That’s some good carceral liberalism.

    1. I once paid for a flight from Hawaii to California for an escort acquaintance who was stuck on the island with no money. And I always keep a Leatherman in my pocket. Did I break the law?

  16. ALL HAIL FIST OF ETIQUETTE!

    Reason Hit and Run’s first Fag-Master!

    1. I’m outraged by this.

      That I was passed-over, that is.

      1. I’m in no mood to put down a coup today.

      2. Anyone who wants the position can’t have it.

        1. Catch-22?

    2. So can a fag-master be a bottom? How does this work? I’m not up on my gay terminology.

      1. At many schools, fag-masters were expected to reward their fags for their efforts at the end of term by giving a … ‘fag tip’

  17. HuffPo’s Ten Ways Right-Wing Christians are Destroying Christianity article contains this nugged (about same-sex marriage): Even the Cato institute and Heritage Foundation have moved on.

    Because while I may have my differences with Cato (splitters!), they are hardly a socon outfit.

    1. Moved on? When was Cato ever a “christian organization”?

      1. That was the point – the idiocy of the PuffHo scribbler.

  18. “I spent one Christmas knocking on the doors of the parents of murdered children. […] I did it because people wanted to read it, and because it was important that they did.”

    Bullshit.

  19. Ladies & Gentlemen, Florida’s Libertarian Party.

    Adrian Wyllie, chairman of Florida’s Libertarian Party, resigned his post Thursday to protest the party’s U.S. Senate candidate, accusing the rival of supporting eugenics and for being expelled from a cult group for “sadistically dismembering a goat in a ritualistic sacrifice.” . . .
    The Senate candidate, who goes by the adopted name Augustus Sol Invictus, counter-accused Wyllie of spreading “half-truths and lies” for political gain. . . .
    “I’m not making this up. It’s crazy, I know,” Wyllie, a Palm Harbor businessman who ran for governor in 2014 and received 3.8 percent of the vote, told Politico after announcing his resignation and levelling his accusations against Invictus in a Facebook post. “I resigned to draw attention to this, as a protest. I did this as a pre-emptive strike. I don’t want anyone to think this guy represents Libertarians. He doesn’t. Under the law, we can’t keep him from the ballot.”

    There’s more fun stuff at the link.

    1. Adrian Wyllie is one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever met (met him while he was traveling around campaigning for Governor last year). This is a damn shame. This state is nuts. And the guy running for Senate is more nuts.

      I’m planning on writing in Warty for Senate next year.

    2. Covered earlier, I believe in the comments for the Mourning Lynx.

    3. “You sadistically dismembered a goat in a ritualistic sacrifice!!!”

      “Yeah? Well, you tell half-truths!!!”

      1. Am I suppose then that the full truth is that he sadistically dismembered two goats?

    4. With a name like that. Invictus.

      “half-truths and lies”

      It was a crippled goat and it wasn’t ritualistic but more ceremonial!

    5. “accusing the rival of supporting eugenics and for being expelled from a cult group for “sadistically dismembering a goat in a ritualistic sacrifice.””

      Anyone else see that episode of Metalocalypse when Nathan Explosion becomes the governor of Florida?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iASSUSFH6yk

  20. Evil Nazi Jew Ezra Levant has a video on that evil horrible Nazi German woman being kicked out of her appartment so city council can settle some helpless and worthy refugees there.

    Meanwhile in Hamburg, capitalist swine who let the properties lie fallow will be expropriated in the name of helping humanity.

    There is some sarcasm hidden in the post. Finding it is left as an exercise for the reader.

    1. Wow the German government wants to do everything in their power to create an electorate that’s just right for a German version of Donald Trump. What are great story for any politician that is anti-immigration to latch on to.

      I’m sure German nationalist parties are glad that the government is helping them get new recruits.

      1. Look, progressive German government is way ahead of you. In order to prevent that, if you followed the second link, measures have been taken:

        In a separate development, prosecutors filed charges of inciting racial hatred against a co-founder of the anti-Islamic Pegida movement.

        The prosecutors in the eastern city of Dresden said they acted after Lutz Bachmann had on Facebook described asylum seekers “trash” and “animals”.

        Also

        Confiscation will only take place if the property owner refuses to hand it over willingly in exchange for compensation.

        How could such reasonable action upset anyone? And anyway, it’s not like refugees are helpless:

        On Thursday more than 200 migrants fought each other in a mass brawl at a reception centre in Hamburg-Bergedorf. Police said Syrians and Afghans were involved in the latest clash.
        Similar fights have erupted at some other migrant centres in Germany. A bigger brawl took place near Kassel, in central Germany, at the end of September.
        Think cowardly German racists will dare do something against such a display of valor and manhood?

        1. I don’t understand. I keep hearing that there are never, ever any downsides to immigration….

          1. God, none of those are downsides, what are you, Nazi sympathizer?

      2. Which part of Nationalist-Socialist don’t you understand?

    2. Goddamit. It seems so outrageous that it has to be made up, but it appears to be legit. Wow.

  21. My proggie friends are so very happy about the Vatican backtracking and saying they didn’t *really* meet with Kim Davis. They can like the Pope again!

    1. I’m enjoying watching them walk it back.

    2. Yep, the uber-prog in my office had to go around and make sure everyone knows the Pope didn’t really meet her.

      It’s been so funny watching this go back-and-forth. The Pope is against gay marriage, you morons! He’s the God damn Pope!

      1. He’s the God damn Pope and he says so!

  22. A Federalist writer makes the bold (and 100 percent correct) case that mayonnaise is the worst condiment.

    It’s a sauce. It’s cousin, the Aioli sauce, is the bomb-diggity.

    1. Dressing

      Were you ever a speaker at the Association of Sauces and Dressings national convention? I think not

      1. Sauce. It’s a base for many wonderful things.

      2. I will tolerate your dissent as you are not one of the mayo hating mob of uncivilized philistines. Those people are just wrong and crazy.

        1. BTW, chile verde is coming along nicely, the bread smells wonderful, the beer is cold, and am thinking about making something else.

    2. Food has to be connected to libidinous dots, juxtaposed within certain time elements, and squared with imbibing entanglements for there to exist a concrete generalization of said certain foodstuff. When one beats the loving jesus hogwash out of that first sentence what remains is mayo most delightful at the late three on rye married to piles of shaven meats after six hours of booze, pot, cocaine, and a bedfuls of ass and tits and maybe the odd cock.

      1. You’re the hero we deserve but not the one we need right now.

        1. Piles of legends exist under the dpi of your moniker’s font.

          1. Piles of legend exist beneath your skull, which I assume is filled with needle holes from all the bizarre, alien drugs that you do.

        2. I too remember HERCULE von Savinem. That was his name right? Close enough.

  23. I was going to mention inverted windmills and coarsely ruminate thereupon with grime scraped from the walls of one of my cranial ravines but I’m simply going to clack into the ether that I like it when the ENB uses ‘fuck’ in a title.

    1. She’s your inverted Dulcinea.

      1. Ribbons tied to the gold wands mounted on castle towers floating beyond all eyes dance in the winds of your imagination.

    2. You are either making more sense with your posts or I am slowly becoming insane. We can compromise, it’s both.

  24. Education Secretary Arne Duncan?one of just a few of Obama’s original cabinet still remaining in office?will step down in December, the White House announced Friday.

    Another victim of the vast white suburban mom conspiracy.

  25. Thanks to that thread about the world getting better, I learned from New York Times commenters that Texas has a higher poverty rate than the rest of the planet because people who comment at NYT don’t seem to know the American poverty rate is 52.6 times higher than the global poverty rate.

    These people not only vote but read the New York Times and therefore wrongly think they are intelligent.

  26. A Federalist writer makes the bold (and 100 percent correct) case that mayonnaise is the worst condiment.

    Apparently the writer never consumed a packet of duck sauce.

    1. Fish sauce ftw!

      (a little bit is ok in some things)

  27. ” that mayonnaise is the worst condiment. ‘”

    It’s not

    It’s a dressing.

    1. What did the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator?

      “Close the door, I am dressing.”

      1. The mayonnaise never said that because it’s not fucking true. Gilmore is full of shit.

    2. Do you pour mayonnaise on your salad?

      And don’t give that shit about Ranch.

      1. I’ve done it when there was nothing else in the house. Works just fine.

        1. That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.

      2. look man, Supermarket Category Management isn’t about satisfying your pedantic, semantic concerns about foodstuff nomenclature.

      3. You’ve never had a Waldorf salad? Though, I’d only do it with homemade mayo or aioli.

        1. ….the peasant

  28. Did you know that the US Sec’y of Education (reference to Duncan quitting) has his own secret service detail. Learned this from a teacher acquaintance when Duncan visited one of the local schools. Why? Well, because he’s in the line of succession for president, dontchaknow.

    1. Someone’s hasn’t watched Battlestar Galactica.

          1. I need to know which version of BSG he’s talking about before I agree with this.

            1. Probably the one where the Secretary of Education becomes President. 🙂

              1. And it was all downhill from there.

    2. Imagine the post apocolyptic disaster that eliminated the previous 90% of government … Which Are Duncan would be left to lord over like some Fury Road-meets-SEIU dystopia

      1. WITNESS ME! First, fill out this form in triplicate, sign it and stamp goes here.

        Shit, now I want to see crossover of Fury Road w/ Futurama’s Central Bureaucracy.

          1. Hail Hypnotoad.

            1. That’s “All Hail Hypnotoad!” to you, kid.

              1. Hypnotoad is a collectivist? My heart is crushed, I though this reign would bring forth the Libertarian Moment!

                1. And of course I was wrong – it’s All glory to the Hypnotoad.

                  Welp, it’s off to suicide booth…

                  1. I’m thinking that Hypnotoad is a pretty viable alternative to our current reality for leader selection, Trump vs Hillary. Ok, fuck yeah, all hail Hypnotoad! I welcome our new Hypnotoad overlord!

                    1. Fuck that – I want head of Richard Nixon on robot body! AROOOOO!

  29. So I heard part of Obama’s “boo hoo, guns, boohoohoo” speech. Pathetic. He says we should do what the Ozzies and Brits did, although he neglected to state that what they did was enact a near total ban on gun ownership. He also said we bear collective responsibility. Uh, no asshat. The guy who pulled the trigger bears responsibility.

    Also, another shooting in a gun-free zone. Huh. I wonder why that keeps happening, he said sarcastically.

    1. It’s outrageous to me that the president would tell me I bear any responsibility for a deranged killer.

      1. Everything bad that happens is because of too much freedom.

      2. At this point it’s probably more of a ‘roll your eyes’ offense. It’s Obama. Trying to collectively shame people is like the only psychological trick in his book, and it has zero effect if you have any modicum of self-respect. Not an issue.

    2. Oh, he also said that there are fewer gun deaths in states with more gun laws, which is just plain wrong. Perhaps he meant to say the rate of gun death is lower, but even that dishonestly conflates gun deaths with gun murders.

      He’s just the sort of fool who blames gun violence in Chicago on those evil gun peddlers in Indiana.

      1. So, to recap, another eloquent, nuanced, passionate speech that will be ignored due to racism and hate?

      2. Well, southern states do have higher murder rates, but what Obama doesn’t want to mention is that murder rates unfortunately correlate most heavily with the African American population, not with guns.

        No one wants to say this out of fear of being called racist, but the strongest determinant of murder rate in a state is how many black people there are. I’m not saying this is because they’re black, I’m absolutely not saying black people are “naturally” more violent, and there are any number of reasons this could be true (maybe it’s because of poverty and maybe it’s because of prejudice) but regardless of the reason, southern states have high murder rates because of very high black populations, not because of guns. That’s why pro-gun Vermont has such a low murder rate while pro gun Mississippi has a very high murder rate. It’s also why anti-gun San Francisco has a low murder rate while anti-gun Washington, DC does not.

        Waiting for someone to call me racist even though everything I’ve said can be proven statistically.

        1. What about anti-gun Oakland? No one really wants to compare either side of the bay. It’s a tremendous wealth disparity and racial divide.

          1. Oakland is now barely 20% African-American, outnumbered by Latinos, Asians and Whites. The town is extremely affluent overall, except for a couple of ever-dwindling ghettos. The average one-bedroom apartment in Oakland rents for $2600/month.

            It’s gotten so ‘bad’ that the Oakland mayor had a press conference the other day about the ‘affordable housing crisis’ in Oakland and actually said this: “we’ve got to try and combat these market forces”.

            In one of those rundown areas still remaining in town, a patch of downtown on Broadway, Uber just took over an old Sears high-rise building and will fill it with 1,800 well-paid employees. You should hear the howling about how horrible it will be with all these good jobs coming to the city — ‘it will lead to gentrification!” “Where will the artists and poor live?” (both these comments on Oakland Ch. 2 news yesterday).

        2. Waiting for someone to call me racist even though everything I’ve said can be proven statistically.

          *looks around* Bo’s not here.

    3. My favorite part about gun banning idiots is that they use Australia as an example. You want to know why Australia has a really easy time keeping contraband out of the country? They’re an island with the strictest immigration laws of any developed country on the planet and very little illegal immigration because of how strongly they police their borders.

      Why’s this matter? Because we have CONSTANT MOVEMENT ACROSS OUR BORDER with a 3RD WORLD NATION. As a result, how the hell can you stop drugs or guns from crossing the border?

      I can’t believe how contradictory left-wing ideas are. They want borders that basically aren’t policed at all, and call people bigots if they don’t want that, but then they also think we can stop guns without first clamping down on the border to prevent gun trafficking across our national boundaries.

      Idiots: You can’t keep any contraband out of the country for very long unless the borders are secure. And in a country with borders the size of America, I don’t think it’s possible to keep anything out of the country for very long.

      1. Irish, Irish, Irish – you keep forgetting America is the source of all the world’s guns. Hit the evil at its source, and all problems will be solved.

        Seriously, it’s like you don’t even progressive.

      2. Yeah! Australia sucks!

      3. “I can’t believe how contradictory left-wing ideas are. They want borders that basically aren’t policed at all”

        That’s not true. Proggies love border control. Gotta keep the land secured from freedom.

        1. Who do you think supports open borders the most? They won’t even let people call people ‘illegal immigrants’ anymore.

          1. “Who do you think supports open borders the most?”

            Why libertarians of course, excepting certain ‘libertarians’.

            “They won’t even let people call people ‘illegal immigrants’ anymore.”

            Meh. They like to police language for its own sake.

          2. Supporting amnesty, or even supporting expanded legal immigration, isn’t the same thing as supporting open borders.

      4. Because we have CONSTANT MOVEMENT ACROSS OUR BORDER with a 3RD WORLD NATION.

        How dare you characterize Canada as a 3rd world nation!

      5. Mexico is not 3rd world. Parts of Mexico are, but not the whole country.

        1. Mexico has their own Detroit?!?!

          1. Every country has its own Detroit. It’s a rite of passage.

      6. Do you think Costa Rica is 3rd world? Mexico has the same GDP per capita as Costa Rica.

      7. I wonder how strict Aussie gun laws actually are. I know the police will laugh at you if try to get a gun permit claiming “self-defense” as the reason, but when I first travelled to Australia my hotel was right across the street from this place. Their website has a link to a government website where you can apply on-line for a gun permit.

    4. He also said we bear collective responsibility.

      “collective” is the tell.

  30. Another Obama Cabinet Member Bites the Dust

    FIFY.

    1. I’m hanging on the edge of my seat.

    2. Do you want federal subpoenaes? Because…

      1. I’m just reading between the lines I created.

  31. “Where the fuck does the public think news comes from?”

    Magnets?

    1. Brawndo?

      1. Completely OT, Struthers, but your “nothing gets better” comment from earlier reminded me of Clark Ashton Smith, and in an odd sort of manner called to my mind something he wrote which I thought you (and a few others who visit the comment section) may appreciate.

        Chinoiserie

        Part One:
        “Ling Yang, the poet, sits all day in his hut among the willows by the river-side, and dreams of the Lady Moy. Spring and the swallows have returned from the timeless isles of myrrh and amaranth, further than the flight of sails in the unknown south; the silver buds of the willow are breaking into gold; and reeds of venal jade have begun to push their way among the brown and yellow rushes of yesteryear. But Ling Yang is heedless of the brightening azure, the light that lengthens: and he has no eye for the northward flight of the waterfowl, and the passing of the last clouds, that melt and vanish in the flames of an amber sunset. For him, there is no season save the moon of waning summer in which he first met the Lady Moy. But a sorrow deeper than the sorrow of autumn abides in his heart; for the heart of Moy is colder to him than the snows of great mountains above a tropic valley: and all the songs he has made for her, the songs of the flute and the songs of the lute, have found no favour in her hearing.”

        1. Part Two:
          “Leagues away, in her pavilion of scarlet lacquer and ebony, the Lady Moy reclines on a couch of sapphire-coloured silk. All day, through the gathering gold of the willow-foliage, she watches the placid lake, on whose surface the pale green lilly-pads have begun to widen, Beside her, in a turquoise-studded binding, there lie the verses of the poet Ling Yung, who lived six centuries ago, and who sang in all his songs the praise of the Lady Loy, who disdained him. Moy has no need to peruse them any longer, for they live in her memory even as upon the written page. And, sighing, she dreams ever of the great poet, Ling Yung, and of the melancholy romance that inspired his songs, and wonders enviously at the disdain of the Lady Loy.”

          1. I found this lovely but quite confusing.

            1. I found this lovely but quite confusing.

              I think to fully appreciate the story, you need to keep in mind the generally Asian view that history is cyclical, and specifically the Chinese concept of yuanfen.

            2. “I found this lovely but quite confusing.”

              Ling Yang the poet… dreams of the Lady Moy .”

              “Leagues away… the Lady Moy… dreams ever of the great poet, Ling Yung who lived six centuries ago, and who sang in all his songs the praise of the Lady Loy , who disdained him.

              And, sighing, Lady Moy dreams ever of the great poet, Ling Yung , and of the melancholy romance that inspired his songs, and wonders enviously at the disdain of the Lady Loy .

              1. It’s funny cuz “moy” is Thai for female pubic hair.

          2. My take is that Loy is waiting for someone taller/richer than Yang.

  32. Mayonnaise, tuna, egg, relish, mustard, onion. Note fuck off.

  33. NY City Council honors Ethel Rosenberg for ‘great bravery’

    This is for real.

    Apparently it’s perfectly safe for progressives to take the mask off and proudly display their Marxist sympathies.

    1. My understanding is that she was innocent. Her husband was the spy, and whilst she was a commie, she wasn’t part of the ring. Her brother in law testified against her for his own reasons, and the FBI knew he was lying. They were hoping that Julius would talk in exchange for sparing her life.

      Of course, if the FBI knew she was innocent, they could have executed him first, then arranged for a delay and a pardon. Instead they fried her first, then him a handful of minutes later.

      1. At the very least, Ethel knew what Julius was up to, so she was not “innocent.”

      2. Khrushchev’s recollection was that both Rosenbergs were involved: “I was part of Stalin’s circle when he mentioned the Rosenbergs with warmth. I cannot specifically say what kind of help they gave us, but I heard from both Stalin and Molotov, then minister of foreign affairs, that the Rosenbergs provided very significant help in accelerating the production of our atom bomb. Let this be a worthy tribute to the memory of those people.”

        It really strains credulity to believe that card-carrying commie who was sister to one traitor and married to the guy who ran the espionage operation would not be wrapped up in the conspiracy herself. She denied both her and her husband’s involvement in the conspiracy throughout even though she had to known of it. Bitch was a Stalinist spy who deserved to get fried. However, I think a life term in supermax would have been more appropriate.

        Other than her kids, other commies, and fellow-travellers, do you have a cite that demonstrates that the FBI knew that Greenglass was lying? Sure, he racanted but that doesn’t prove jack.

        1. I agree. She was up to her eyeballs in communist politics, her husband was a spy, and other family members were, too, and that’s only what we know about.

        2. Do you have a cite for the Krushchev quote? Not that I don’t believe you, I’d just like to read the source.

      3. Re: tarran,

        My understanding is that she was innocent.

        Oh, she was guilty, all right. What is debatable is if she was guilty enough to deserve to be fried in the electric chair. But she was guilty of espionage.

      4. “My understanding is that she was innocent.”
        According to everyone save them and the kids, she tore the box top in half and handed over half.
        Not sure what it takes to be involved if that doesn’t do it.

    2. “”A lot of hysteria was created around anti-communism and how we had to defend our country, and these two people were traitors and we rushed to judgment and they were executed,” said Councilman Daniel Dromm (D-Queens).’

      …”and life is precious, and God, and the Bible

      Feeeeelingssss… nothing more than…. Feeeeeeeeeelings……

      I’ve read stuff about the Rosenbergs in the NYT over the years (they have an entire archive devoted to the story) and its always littered with little details that seem to lionize/exculpate them, suggesting it was some extraordinary miscarriage…

      e.g. “In a 2008 interview with Mr. Roberts, Mr. Sobell admitted that he had given military secrets to the Soviet Union, and concurred in what has become a consensus among historians: that the Greenglass-Rosenberg atomic bomb details were of little value to the Soviets, except to corroborate what they already knew,”

      …never mind its *the attempt and intent to give the Soviets access to weapons of mass destruction* that is the actual crime… they seem to suggest that because “they already had” info, that it was somehow a lesser offense.

  34. Mayonnaise is disgusting. Ketchup is immature but at least it’s good for something. Real men mustard.

    1. Even a broken clock is right twice a day! Bravo!

      But I still find mayo useful for things. Messy things.

    2. Real men mustard.

      Especially horseradish mustard strong enough to clear your sinuses. De-licious!

      1. Pffft. Real men eat wasabi.

        1. If they can find it (assuming one is not resident in Japan). I’ve only had real wasabi 3 times in my life. It’s nothing like the green play-doh they try to pass off as wasabi.

          1. You mean that stuff I unwisely ate half of at once wasn’t actual wasabi?!? and that the real thing is stronger!?

            1. Indeed. And it is stronger…but the heat is different. More nasally…think Chinese hot mustard sauce more than chili pepper. Also there are more grassy (green, not fougere) high notes to it, imo.

            2. I finish it after the rolls are gone. Gives me a delightful cerebral tingle if I push a wad of it up against the back of my palate.

            3. I’ve had it once. It’s not as readily available since it doesn’t hold its flavor for long after it’s grated. It’s definitely more pleasant and flavorful.

            4. Wasabi is great mixed with ketchup.

    3. Mayonnaise is important for forming a moisture barrier on a sandwich. Otherwise, the bottom piece of bread might get all soggy.

  35. When I was younger I would ask restaurants to hold the mayo. I also never added salt and pepper to any dish. But now that I’m older, I find myself piling on everything I can. Is it true that one’s tastebuds weaken/decrease in intensity as one ages?

    1. Yes, it’s true. For example, when I was younger, I couldn’t stand olives…now I can eat nafplion olives like potato chips.

      1. Interesting. I also remember the intensity of warhead sours. Now they just taste sweet.

      2. That makes me want a tongue transplant.

        Black olives still suck, but other olives are like crack for me. Especially with the seed. I have to force myself to stop.

        1. Moroccan black olives are awesome you swine.

          And Calabrese green olives. Hm, hm, HM. Dee-lish!

          1. Mmm….some nice Northern Italian red with that, yes…

            (yes I’m one of the freaks who prefers northern Italian wines to their southern cousins).

      3. I used to detest blue cheese, now I slightly dislike it.

    2. I hated pickles and onions when I was younger. I preferred burgers from Burger King over McDonald’s because the little onions. Now, I like onions and pickles.

      I still hate green beans and mayo and most likely will until I am measured for a coffin.

      1. The food I will hate until my last breath are sweet potatoes. According to my mom, it was the first food that I spat back at her. I still can’t stand the taste of them.

      2. I still hate green beans

        Have you ever had fresh green beans, not those disgusting grey things in a can? The Habit serves amazing tempura green beans made fresh. Give ’em a try if there’s one near you and you might change your mind.

        1. Fry two or more strips of bacon till crisp. Remove from pan and let pan cool to below boiling point. Add green beans. Cover with water and cook on medium heat until al dente. Drain and serve garnished with crumbled bacon.

          1. That’s how you do cheeseburgers.

            1. Bacon goes well with pretty much everything. One of my friend’s son-in-law had a bacon-chocolate cake for his groom’s cake at his wedding. Excellent!!!

  36. Tesla Prices To Triple In Denmark As Tax Incentives Are Rolled Back [in steps from 2016 to 2020]

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/ke…..es-follow/

  37. “Bill Gates’ nuclear power company, TerraPower, signed an agreement with the China National Nuclear Corporation (CNNC) allowing the two companies to collaborate on advanced nuclear technologies that address safety, environmental and cost issues. The MOU was signed by TerraPower CEO Lee McIntire and CNNC President Qian Zhimin”

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/ja…..ith-china/

  38. Garrell James may spend 30 years in federal prison for driving a sex worker across state lines while illegally possessing a firearm.

    It’s a bit more than that: two of his three “sex workers” were underage, he had pot and meth, and he had previous run-ins with the law.

    1. Still, murderers and child molesters get shorter sentences. It’s not like he hurt anybody or forced anyone to do something against their will.

      1. Are you sure he never hurt anybody or forced them to do anything against their will? Pimps are often pretty bad guys.

        1. Haven’t seen that mentioned in any of the stories. But if he was forcing those girls, then I have no sympathy. Lock him up forever.

          1. The news reports are thin on details. I was responding to your statement, which seemed to say that he did not do those things. I don’t know if he did or not, but with pimps, I know how I’d bet….

    2. Were any of the ladies Mexican? If so, he should be canonized by H&R.

  39. “”Where the fuck does the public think news comes from?””

    Video re-enactment of Journalist ENB linking to Gawker cuz the dirty mean public hates the news media:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvnx4M293oU

    1. That is just amazing.

      So, is Gawker the bear, and kayak is Reason, or Gawker the woman and bear is ENB…? I need some Bok-style labels.

      1. If I learned anything from Tim Treadwell, it is that when a bear is close to you, you admonish it while smacking it on the nose.

        That terribly annoying woman did admonish the bear, but without the nose smack it will not have the same useful effect.

        1. “you admonish it while smacking it on the nose.”

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoebZZ8K5N0

          Bear at 0:45

          nah….

      2. Woman is ENB

        Bear is Public

        kayak is ENB’s false sense of moral superiority and inflated ego.

        1. So you’re hitting on her? Is that how this works?

          1. Yeah sure. Better call the UN cuz you just caught me at #cyberviolance.

            …..

            I don’t know how aware how much of a white knight you are, but you just accused me stalking because I dared to criticize a woman.

            When I criticize Matt about shaming Vietnam draft dodgers like I did yesterday does that mean I want to fuck him too?

            1. I was making a joke about “negging”. Sorry if it fell flat. You may want to find the dial marked “self-righteousness” and turn it down a bit.

              1. Oh wait, I remember you. You’re the one who basically posited that whoever was linking to Popehat, on not talking to cops without a lawyer, was trying to “rehabilitate” his reputation after he fucked up on the UN report a few days ago. Because that’s the obvious explanation, ain’t it? Just like if ENB links to Gawker she’s trying to give them credibility.

                So, you’re a culture warrior. I’ll be more careful in the future to just assume you’re a completely humourless fuck, and respond accordingly.

              2. “I was making a joke”

                Want to see something really funny?

                Hover over the link ENB used for the deadspin article (gawker)

                Notice the “utm_campaign” in the link?

                Put that phrase in a search engine and see what comes up.

                Funny stuff.

                1. I might be dense today. Is the funny part:

                  1. That ENB shares stuff she finds on Twitter (which is what the utm_campaign link is from)?
                  2. That she didn’t remove it before pasting it in the afternoon links?
                  3. That “socialflow” sounds like group diarrhea?

                  Because I don’t get it.

                  1. SocialFlow
                    http://www.socialflow.com/
                    SocialFlow
                    SocialFlow uses real-time data and business rules to determine what and when to publish to your social media properties for both owned and paid social posts.

                    My bold

                    Here is the tweet from the author of article linking it.

                    http://twitter.com/barryap1/st…..5397357569

                    That link in that tweet does not have the monetizing tracker URL….

                    So yes, if you need it spelled out, ENB is getting paid to promote Gawker articles on Reason.

  40. 6 hours later the cocksucker is standing on dead bodies to emote and signal to the statistically challenged masses about how we need modest gun laws that we already have.
    The worst of us rules us. All I can do is keep my head down and not make any noise.
    Land of the free.

  41. “”Where the fuck does the public think news comes from?”

    i can’t say for sure, but I’ve eliminated anything Gawker-media-related so far.

    1. Also, public in that case was pretty much disgusted by laziness of the “reporters”. Go out and talk to people? Nah, this person says she was there, good enough for me. It’s like when Gamergate got blamed for that morning show reporter shooting – hey some guy on the internet said stuff, that’s totally facts.

      1. Gamergate also just got blamed for the Oregon shooting by Gawker.

  42. Ground floor derp opportunity. Come in and read the stupidity hot out of the mouths of morons.

    Companies like Exxon will hire some of the most brilliant minds out of MIT and prestigious schools, have them work on new energy technologies, pay them little, and then patent the new energy devices, suppress them, and then sue with their powerful lawyers anyone that tries to use this energy or create anything similar.

    1. Holy shit, that’s some genuine frontier gibberish, rarely heard in this day and age!

    2. All you can do is encourage that.

      Say “yeah, I work for exxon. They patented my perpetual motion machine”

      1. “And they installed the one working model on a train with a sushi bar and a discotheque and a hammy Tilda Swinton. Hey, does it feel chilly all of a sudden?”

    3. Seems like quite a bit of risk and effort, in order to try to keep things just as they are now….

    4. Having actually worked for Exxon, I can attest that this is untrue.

      1. OF COURSE YOU WOULD SAY THAT.

    5. Um, so you can do a patent search and find tons of new energy technologies, right? Do these people have even one functioning brain cell?

  43. Music thread: My car stereo’s music randomizer picked this song during my drive home.

      1. I had no idea it was also the Chicago Blackhawks goal song.

      2. The size of her head you say? Yes, I think so.

        Yeah I posted that video up above. The sun will still rise in the East.

  44. This is golden, and from one of your fav writers:

    We’ve been triggered!

    1. My favorite quick response to someone like her is “I guess you are okay with the just the police being armed.”

      1. I’m sure she is, being a boot licking statist.

        1. I would love for someone to make that their opinion. “Only the police can have guns. Police and federal agents.”

          An even worse article is by a writer a like: We Can Win the War on Guns

          Riggs tweeted this as a response: Mike Riggs ?@MikeRiggs 1h1 hour ago

          Re that GQ article: Replace “guns” with “drugs,” and you’ll get a great sense of just how successful the proposals would be.

          Step 2 is the best part.

          1. Oh.

            Riggs tweeted “Re that GQ article: Replace “guns” with “drugs,” and you’ll get a great sense of just how successful the proposals would be.”

            The other gibberish was me.

          2. I’ve never bought GQ, but I’m surprised they’d have whining anti-gun editorials in there. Who’s their audience? Aren’t males way more pro-gun?

            1. Real men use the internet. What kind of man reads a damn paper magazine? Probably the same kind who is afraid of guns.

            2. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Not the sort of men who read GQ.

              1. Not the sort of “men” who read GQ.

                FIFY

            3. Drew writes at deadspin, and has a large following there. He is often a very funny writer, and he probably has that 22-40 year old white, douchebag (of which I am one) audience he can carry with him.

              I lose a lot of respect for him when it comes to politics, mostly because his opinions are so simplistic.

              “Just get the illegal guns.”

              WHAT AN IDEA!

      2. Someone has to stop the knife attacks before they kill more than one or two people. Or maybe she expects bystanders to rush a guy with a knife.

        1. I hear that a person armed with a knife could kill a guy with a gun if he gets within 30 feet!

          1. Guys with primitive obsidian weapons and cotton armor can kill guys with steel swords and steel armor too, if they get really lucky. But overall, that’s never worked out so well.

            But, I’ve got it! Let’s just make guns illegal and there won’t be any more guns! Problem solved! Why has no one ever tried that before?

            1. Next up – making glass illegal.

              1. If there’s nothing else to make illegal, the left will come up with a reason to make glass illegal, guaranteed.

                Glass is the new guns.

    2. It’s like she read Doherty’s post last night and saw it as a challenge.

      God, number 3 is an absolute riot. Change “mental health” to “gun control” and “Republican” to “Democrat,” and it’s like it’s from NRO.

      3. “But, mental health!”
      Opponents of gun control love bringing up the problem of inadequate mental health care after a shooting. This is strictly for deflection purposes, as there is no indication that Republicans will ever work on meaningful reform for our mental health systems ? which, it’s true are woefully inadequate. It’s an issue that only matters to them in the immediate aftermath of a shooting ? then it’s forgotten, until there’s another shooting. Rinse, repeat.

      Also, the “mental health” gambit, in this context, is always vague. What exactly is the plan? Round up everyone with a mental health issue and put them under lock and key? That amounts to 1 in 5 Americans, the vast majority of whom have no violent tendencies. … Even if all of those individuals got gold-star treatment, the system would only stop a few shooters.

      1. The left are like a hive of brainless lemmings. Once they get a talking point, they can’t give up on it ever, no matter how unworkable it is. They’ve been expecting communism to work for like 100 years now and no amount of catastrophic failures and human suffering can deter them from it.

      2. The ‘mental health’ scapegoat is almost as problematic as the ‘guns!’ one from a liberty standpoint.

    3. “Here’s a good time to remind everyone that the Second Amendment was written by slaveholders before we had electricity”

      Uh huh…

      1. Good response to that.

        From the blurb:

        Visiting Martin Luther King Jr. at the peak of the Montgomery, Alabama bus boycott, journalist William Worthy almost sat on a loaded pistol. “Just for self defense,” King assured him. It was not the only weapon King kept for such a purpose; one of his advisors remembered the reverend’s Montgomery, Alabama home as “an arsenal.”

        [snip]

        In This Nonviolent Stuff’ll Get You Killed, civil rights scholar Charles E. Cobb Jr. describes the vital role that armed self-defense played in the survival and liberation of black communities in America during the Southern Freedom Movement of the 1960s. In the Deep South, blacks often safeguarded themselves and their loved ones from white supremacist violence by bearing?and, when necessary, using?firearms. In much the same way, Cobb shows, nonviolent civil rights workers received critical support from black gun owners in the regions where they worked. Whether patrolling their neighborhoods, garrisoning their homes, or firing back at attackers, these courageous men and women and the weapons they carried were crucial to the movement’s success.

        1. Cobb really overstates. If armed resistance had ever been seen as characteristic of the civil rights movement at that time it would have been totally crushed. This doesn’t negate the basic, fundamental right of any individual at any time to armed self defense, of course.

          1. I’m not seeing armed resistance here as much as deterrence.

            Also, people talk about the black panthers, which is definitely has the more “in your face” style of armed defiance. They didn’t derail civil rights (although they did provide a ready made boogeyman for pushing more gun control).

      2. Frizzy haired Ben Franklin says “Wut?”

        1. Franklin was the dude. Smart as hell, libertarian, and international playboy. What is not to like?

          1. Agreed, he was “electric.”

          2. His racism? Although it was awesome in its way – takes a true genius to put Germans and Swedes into the same “swarthy” category as Slavs.

    4. Amanda “Duke Lacrosse Expert” Marcotte’s #4 is especially pathetic:

      Here’s a good time to remind everyone that the Second Amendment was written by slaveholders before we had electricity, much less the kind of weaponry that would-be murderers can buy today. But sure, if you think it’s that precious, we can compromise: If you love the Second Amendment that much, feel free to live in a powdered wig and shit in a chamberpot while trying to survive off what you can kill with an 18th century musket. In exchange, let those of us living in this century pass some laws so we can feel safe going to class, or the movies, or anywhere without worrying that some maladjusted man will try to get his revenge by raining death on random strangers.

      Got that, everybody? If you think the Constitution protects your right to do something now (like, say, post on the Internet as an exercise in “free speech”) that wasn’t possible in the late 1700s, you have to wear a powdered wig! Brilliant logic!

      1. Here’s a good time to remind everyone that the First Amendment was written by slaveholders before we had electricity, much less the kind of communication devices that would-be [insert boogeyman here] can buy today.

        1. Totally.

          I’m also going to guess that Amanda believes that same Constitution, written by slaveholders, protects her right to get the type of 22nd-week surgical abortion that wasn’t widely available in the late 1700s. But she probably exempts herself from the Powdered Wig Rule.

          1. I nearly wrote that it’s really incredible for someone who puts so much into the ‘unsaid’ privacy right of those powdered wig guys to poo-poo the explicitly written 2nd on those grounds. Well said.

            1. That’s always what’s incredible. Almost all the rights in the BoR have been greatly expanded since 1789 (correctly IMO) but the Second Amendment should be read strictly. That’s why the well-regulated militia argument is bullshit. If the first amendment can be expanded to include, say, porn, then the 2A can be expanded as well.

              1. It’s the only amendment I can think of, other than the 10th of course, which the ACLU and like minded groups read so narrowly.

                1. The 9th amendment is completely ignored. That one could and should be the libertarian activation one in the same way that the commerce clause is for statists.

          2. Powdered Wig Rule

            It would class the place up a bit. What say the Fag-Master?

            1. Fine. I’ll consider wearing a powdered wig, but there’s no way I’m shitting in a chamberpot. I like my modern toilet too much.

      2. From such a reputable reporting journal as Rolling Stone, how can this possibly happen?

        1. So, did they ever find Haven Monahan?

          1. Yeah, I’m sure that they found a fictitious person, that always happens.

            1. It’s just come to the point that the left are all sociopath liars. It’s not only accepted now, it’s a requirement to join the tribe.

  45. Did Bo disappear the same time John did?

    1. Bo still pops up here and there. I assume it’s not as much fun here since he’s lost his best example of a Team Red commenter.

      1. Botard is just a contrarian troll. He’d argue with you no matter what you post. It could be the most far left drivel ever posted on the intertoobz and the dipshit would argue with you about it too.

        1. If you’ve ever seen an example of me arguing with someone adhering to the NAP then produce it.

          1. That was some creepy good timing, Bo.

            1. Meh. If it’s night time you’ll find Hyperion complaining about something incoherently. Just happened to be me when I logged on this time.

              1. Stress on the creepy.

                1. You have to keep up appearances with the clique, I get it.

                  1. Thanks, man. You get it.

                    1. 😉

          2. You’d argue about the color of shit in a darkroom

            1. I think a hear a small baby crying!

    2. All that matters is that Bo disappeared. If he wanted to take someone with him, why not Tony or Shreek?

    3. John needed some time away. He got pretty bad right at the end there, and it wasn’t healthy.

  46. C’mon, pm lynx are gonna double as the overnight thread?

    1. The Koch brothers obviously don’t police their paid minions as much as you’d think.

    2. First time ever. They ran out of material early. I guess the Donald and commie pope were busy today.

      1. Agile, we’re sorry.

        1. Straff, if you’d like I can take agile’s place and offer to schtup your mind holes with my fat jizz machine.

          1. Begorrah, some Finnegan’s Wake should fill the Cyborg-sized hole in our lives.

            “A way a lone a last a loved a long the riverrun, past Eve and Adam’s, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.”

            “I done me best when I was let. Thinking always if I go all goes. A hundred cares, a tithe of troubles and is there one who understands me? One in a thousand of years of the nights? All me life I have been lived among them but now they are becoming lothed to me. And I am lothing their little warm tricks. And lothing their mean cosy turns. And all the greedy gushes out through their small souls. And all the lazy leaks down over their brash bodies. How small it’s all! And me letting on to meself always. And lilting on all the time.”

            “The Gracehoper was always jigging ajog, hoppy on akkant of his joyicity.”

            “And whowasit youwasit propped the pot in the yard and whatinthe nameofsen lukeareyou rubbinthe sideofthe flureofthe lobbywith Shite! will you have a plateful? Tak.”

          2. Ya’ll apologize to Agile now. NO ONE takes Agile’s place in jizzing blood mingled mindfuck space!

          3. I’m giving you ONE shot, CJ. Don’t blow it.

            1. I shall link to one of my Agile favorites in his stead.

                    1. Another good one. They’re all good ones.

                    2. ONE shot. Up against the wall, citizen.

              1. Good one. This one has a good bit:

                And I state this is as verified libertine heathen breathing the ass fumes of God and Satan both. Yes, I’ve rimmed both God and Satan.

            2. Today is again egyptian, smaller than yesterday but just as egyptian. Sausage bead pulled tighter, the pussy is aloof so something gets done. I’m dragging radiant lines, worrying about resolution, the illusions of hatch, hatch, hatch, wondering if I have to raid a library. I am written in a dead man’s will, wondering if I am worthy to ape the sublime.

              1. What?

                OK, that was more than I can take. Back to the Braves game.

                1. Huh, it’s just a day in the life.

    3. They might. Maybe all the Reason writers went out for cocktails.

  47. It’s impressive that Obama can still surprise me in his utter statism. Calling for gun control restrictions immediately after the shooting, when he couldn’t have said with any confidence that anything the gun control crowd has been calling for was implied, spoke volumes about that man.

    1. Considering the history, he might as well get in front of the facts, so at least no one can say with absolute certainty “this won’t work”.

  48. Someone summoned the Botard. Thanks, guys.

    1. I accidentally farted on a pentagram, sorry.

      1. I like the added underscores. It demonstrates you’re not a *total* hidebound conservative! Nice.

  49. So, all the people that told me that Scott Walker was TEH TOTALLY AWESOME and didn’t need no steenkin’ college degree or any other outside of politics accomplishments what-so-ever other than winning some off-year elections and defeating a recall by obviously petulant union forces, where are they at tonight? Hahahaha. Told you so.

    1. I don’t know why you celebrate. Him dropping out arguably lowered the average quality of the Repub primary candidates. No small feat.

  50. Thanks to a link I got here, I was able to find this story:

    A state Libertarian Party chair “resigned his post Thursday to protest the party’s U.S. Senate candidate, accusing the rival of supporting eugenics and for being expelled from a cult group for “sadistically dismembering a goat in a ritualistic sacrifice.””

    Now, guess which state this story took place in.

    1. Both of them seem fairly sane and harmless compared to Trump.

    2. Eddie! I’ve genuinely worried about you recently. The Pope pushing AGW, anti-death penalty, pro-immigration…

      Are you okay fella?

      1. Yes, Bo, that really puts a dent in my campaign to impale parking violators on stakes, put aliens into rockets to Mars, and burn down the Brazilian rain forest.

        1. We’ve disagreed many times, but if you really need someone to talk to during this tough time, I’m here Eddie.

          I’m here.

          1. “I’m here.”

            Really? I thought you were in Baltimore.

            1. No, the Bobronytards convention is next month.

              1. Only one person is coming and it will argue with itself.

            2. Your evasion is delicious Eddie.

              I’m sorry your pontiff took such anti-capitalist, death penalty and immigration restriction positions. He gave you some small sliver of hope with his Davis meeting, and then he walked back from it. I really have been worried for you: you’re a diehard conservative and yet must-obey-church!!!

              Tough. There for ya fella.

              1. I think that if it weren’t for straw-manning you would soon run out of material.

  51. I received a CMP sales e-mail today. I didn’t know there was a bill to allow the CMP to sell surplus 1911s. From the e-mail:

    The legislation on the 1911 pistols has passed the House. The Senate plans to take it up next week. If it passes, then it will head to the President’s desk. If signed, we will meet with the Army to develop procedures. All of this will take time. We have no further information. When information becomes available we will communicate with our customers.

    I expect it won’t pass into law. Even if it gets through the Senate, Obama will veto it and I doubt Congress will overturn the veto.

    1. Nice to see that. There’s been a lot of bitching over the years about CMP not selling surplus M1911’s so maybe it will actually happen someday. I’d like to know what quality grade those will come out as, though. I’ve heard horror stories about them at the time they were replaced by the M9. 40+ years of being beat to shit and all.

      1. The last time the US military ordered any M1911A1’s was in 1945. So every one of those pistols was in circulation for at least 40 years. If CMP does get the green light to sell them what you’ll get will be a museum piece or the base on which you can build a nice Handgun if you know what parts to replace and how to tighten up the slide/frame.

  52. The Buttplug here.

    This election cycle has turned into a complete fiasco. Both parties have nothing but horrid candidates.

    I am enjoying it very much.

    1. Just keep licking those cankles, buttface, there is still hope for your candidate.

    2. Yeah, but in the end it’ll be Jeb Bush vs. Brian Schweitzer, just like you predicted.

      1. I never predicted the MT Governor. I wanted to vote for him instead.

        I have in fact predicted JEB! and have a small amount of money on it with Florida Man (he has Rubio, or “Lil’ Taco” as I call him)

        1. Lil Taco, all of you lefties are such racists.

          We predicted you’d keep your head up Obama’s ass for 8 years. Check.

          We predict that you’ll lick those cankles for as long as it takes.

          Leftist establishment hacks, so predictable.

          1. Dubya’s gone bro. Don’t cry about it.

            Admit you’re a JEB! follower now.

        2. You seemed to be saying the 2016 Dem nomination was Schweitzer’s (if he wanted it) here:

          “Montana Gov Brian Schweitzer is a lock if he runs.”

          1. Yes, “if he runs”. Democrats are too stupid to nominate him though – which I admit in retrospect.

            Many Democrats voted for Obama because they thought (as a black dude) that he had to be a leftist instead of the centrist he turned out to be.

            Now when I talk to progs they say “Obama is cutting the deficit! What is wrong with him?”

            “He is a free trader with the GOP! We want tariffs!”

            “Obama is cutting Social Security!”

            They actually don’t know him.

  53. Somebody is desperate for attention.

    1. Go home to your family. Even if we use your usual excuse it’s 6:20 now. Even if they’ve let you down, you should still honor them rather than ignoring them for your ‘online’ family.

      1. At least two trolls in this thread, and you assume this comment is about you?

        1. Ignore that one, it’s not sentient.

  54. My Shiba doesn’t even fucking bark like a goddamn real dog. Fucking goddamn dog tries to talk all the time every fucking day when he’s pissed. Thank Muhammad and his tiny balls and tiny cock that I don’t live in the HOA’s because neighb’s be calling the cops everyday on my shit because my motherfucking dog can’t bark for real and all the old prunes and pentecostal monks hear my goddamn fucking doge scream and/// [[pause[[////…. Punk ass shiba shriek/scrams/tosses/arches/opera/zombie bullshit all at once when he’s pissed. Every bitch that drops by here to drop a couch off or fucking carpet or check for radiation asks… ‘what’s that?’

    I say, ‘what do you mean, WHAT’s that?’ We have lots of nature in these here parts and I’m thinking that mayhaps that tree over there is a Black Walnut. Beautiful bark. Great nuts. Lovely leaves…’

    ‘No, that cry and odd noize coming from behind your house, sir’.

    1. ‘Well’, sez I, ‘I am into raping hog assholes, sir. I like to line hogs up on a set of 2×4’s and I like to fuck their assholes tender before I shoot them in the head and eat them, delivery person. You know how weird people are out in the country right?’

      ‘Well, sir, that seems very unlikely because you are white and I’m pretty sure your cock isn’t 18 inches long’

      ‘Fine, I have a fucking idiot dog out back that is cute as a pile of little baby frogs on the forehead of a baby star eating a bunch of twinkies but he can’t bark like a real dog. He has to act every single fucking day when he goes outside and you bitches show up he has to act like a fucking zombie getting his toe ripped off by an angry cousin.’

      1. fuck my dog

        1. but i love him like a fucking expensive car
          but fuck him

        2. but i love him like a fucking expensive car
          but fuck him

          1. fuck that fucking suplex post

            1. fuck you agile cyborg you fucking fuck
              fucking Shiba is looking at me and shit
              fuck you dog, fuck your dog food and fuck dog angels
              and fuck beer and fuck brains and fuck pie and fuck sex
              fuck work and fuck careers and fuck sex and fuck blowjobs and fuck sperm
              spilling like a river on the hands of us boys and baby girl faces, fuck rainbows,
              fuck the president, and fuck america. fuck tits and pussy and fuck hard cocks
              fuck bombs and stars and the sun and poems and voices that make me cry
              tons of tears and fuck cheese and fuck big steer meat ground to be the meat of
              the gods and fuck ribs and bbq and fuck big sky country and fuck sex fuck pussy
              and fuck ass sex and under boob and fuck little tiny rainbows and cute frogs and
              sweet new shoots of grass and fuck the smell of new motherboards and
              fuck scientists and fuck ENB and fuck REASON and fuck all these whores
              in this place I love and FUCK Bertrand russell and fuck being alive

                1. exactly sir

    2. Now the real Agile shows ya’ll imposters how it’s done.

      1. there is no faux agile, super fucking real hyp. ever. like there is no faux hyp. Hyp is real. Brother superman Agile is the same fucking asshole every single fucking minute of all the days since forever.. I promise my sweet little pickle sandwich man.

      2. Who summoned the Agiletard!!!!!! ARGGH!

        lol

        1. i have this little raft made from 42 cabbage patch dolls and I sewed them onto cheap 80’s toys and fucking Duracell rabbits make me some light on this voyage away from Bo on the Ohio river…. so I hope agile doesn’t get eaten by 42 bullheads… on a curve away from ashland…

          1. When you pass Portsmouth, say hi to my cousin, bro. And those bullheads, they get reallly big and mean in the Ohioer, so don’t stick your appendages into their gaping maw, and always use some Old Bay.

    3. Welcome Agile.

      1. Peace out my dear

          1. Lovely Q, peace love

    4. Your dog sounds like a good dog – please give him a treat for me.

  55. Some interesting images from Burning Man, I promise:

    Burning man…

    1. You have a utm_campaign link. Apparently that’s funny for some reason?

    2. I got through to the “Hug Deli.” I don’t care how many more nipples there are, I called it quits.

    3. I’m not missing much.

  56. Since this seems to be doubling as overnight links, I thought I’d ask here:

    Until my schedule changes, I have a 6-day layover in Sydney coming up. Any suggestions of how to pass the time without spending a lot of cash? I’m staying in Coogee and will likely make the walk to Bondai at least once. I’m not completely averse to spending $, but this is a (relatively) low-pay work trip, not a luxury vacation for me. I know that’s a pretty open ended question, but would like to hear if anyone has any must-do’s in mind.

    1. IFH lives, I think, in or around Sydney. She can suggest things to do.

      The coastal walk from Coogee to Bondi is a nice walk.

      If you have a day free, head out to the Blue Mountains. The train takes about an hour.

      The Botanical Gardens are nice.

      The southwest tower of the Harbour Bridge has a museum and a lookout. It was AUD9.50 when I went in 2012. I don’t know how much it is now.

      If you like beer, I suggest 4 Pines in Manly. Bonus: You can take the ferry across the harbor and get some nice views of the city.

      1. Sorry, wrong tower for the Bridge Museum and lookout. It’s the southeast tower. Website here.

    2. There is another poster, Gordilocks, who is in Australia but I don’t remember where in Australia he is.

      1. Northwest: long way from Sydney.

        The whole harbour district is pretty cool although it’s kind of upscale dining and shopping so maybe not particularly Australian. The Opera House is there as well. You might also take the ferry to Manly. Kind of like the Staten Island ferry: not designed as a tourist ride but you get a nice view of the city.

        If you want to really taste “culture,” spend a few hours at a cricket match.

    3. Thanks for the replies. They’ve given me a few new ideas to think about. My wife told me I’d be dumb not to climb the Harbour Bridge while the weather is nice, even though it’s pricey, so I guess I’d better give that a go.

      1. In case you check this again…

        A buddy of mine tells the story about how he walked into a pub in Australia, ordered a beer, and was soon talking with a few of the locals. From his accent they knew he was an American so they asked him what he thought about Australia. He looked the questioner in the eye and said “It’s God’s country”. He wasn’t allowed to pay for drinks or dinner after that.

  57. And the Cyborg sweeps in and marinates a rapidly deteriorating thread in a home brew of sunlight.

    1. Yeah, about this time, I proclaim Agile as Savior of the Late Nite Link.

  58. Bacon and omelets are the best dinner. But you knew that. You people who are playing with Tulpa should make some omelets and bacon instead. But you knew that.

    1. Man, I’m really on the fence about omelets. Bacon is always good, always, any time of day. But I’ve never found the perfect omelet. I fry eggs in olive oil every morning, break the yolk and fry for just a few more moments, sea salt and pepper. I literally cannot stand any eggs without olive oil. My wife is so against it that I literally cannot get her to fry eggs like that, but I always do it.

      1. The best omelette I ever had was at my parents’ anniversary brunch. They used grapeseed oil.
        Egg batter was at room temperature.

      2. Tons of butter is the way to do it. Look up the Jacques Pepin video on omelets that I always link here. When you do them right, and it takes a lot of practice to do them right, they’re sublime.

        1. Hmm, seems to be some agreement here that some type of oil is required. Ok, butter is not really an oil, but it will do. Makes sense. I cannot stand dry eggs, which is why I always use olive oil with them.

          1. If your eggs are dry, try lower heat.

            1. I use low heat, but still love the olive oil. Flavors compliment.

      3. mmm… omelettes, good for breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

        Ever made an omelette with brie?

        Warty: I’m sure you already know, but just in case, JP homepage

        http://ww2.kqed.org/jpepinheart/

        1. I have, and it’s spectacular.

          And I actually didn’t know. Man, I love that Frenchy bastard.

          1. The man is amazing.

            Heart and Soul is the new series.

    2. What are you doing eating dinner?!? You should spend time with your family!

    3. I’m out of both eggs and bacon. Check your fridge privilege!

      1. WTF? You can afford eggs and bacon? One percenter! Pay your fair share!

      2. So I sauteed 4 or 5 cloves of garlic in a bunch of butter, added a diced onion, a couple tomatoes, 6 ounces of ham, and some greens. When that was done, I made 9 eggs into 3 omelets in the French country style with a ton more butter, stuffed them with the goodies and some cheddar cheese, and served them with the rest of the innards on top and some more tomatoes and the bacon on the side. The wife-woman was pleased.

        Tomorrow I will use the bacon drippings for salad dressing. Nothing is good quite like bacon salad.

        1. I do hope you save bacon drippings on the regular. Pro-tip: Two pint mason jars, one to fill and one to use. That way you get the saved drippings rotated properly.

          Really, I’m astonished they don’t sell bacon drippings in the stores. So much utility. I use it for dressings, marinades*, frying eggs or potatoes – and fried potatoes are not the same without the bacon drippings treatment, and anyone who claims otherwise is a godless savage who probably chugs wine straight from the bottle without removing the paper bag – and my green beans just would not be the same without bacon fat. Also, larding the Thanksgiving turkey.

          * My go to steak marinade is a mixture of bacon drippings, smoked paprika, salt and garlic.

    4. Bacon and scrambled eggs was a regular dinner growing up. I don’t do it much nowadays, since I eat eggs and bacon every morning, but the rare time I have nothing else in the fridge and don’t want to shop… mmm, mmm.

  59. Just when you thought elections could not get weirder: white Muslim convert Umar Lee, a BLM protestor and ex-cabbie, is running for St. Louis mayor as a Republican. He wants to replace the police with street gangs.

    1. Wow, I assumed you were exaggerating, but you’re actually understating the crazy.

      1. Yeah, I mean, running as a Republican in St. Louis? *Twirls finger around temple* cuckoo…cuckoo…

  60. So there is a point where you say, ‘BITCH, you fucking whore!!! STRIP YOUR FUCKING GODDAMN clothing off you whore… suck my clit you fucking whore. Yeah,, lay on the floor you fucking dumbass white shit working at CNN or Proctor and Gamble, it’s time for you to be a motherfucking MAN< YOU MOTHERFUCKING TODDLER… fucking lay down on the floor you pretend man,. I don’t give a single rip about your goddamn colleges and degrees or handyman facebook resumes…. BITCH, suck my goddamn clit… I will kill your motherfucking oxygen until you eat my clit like NASA suppering on Mars and Jesus saving people… SAVE MY MOTHERFUCKING CLIT YOU FUCKING white asshole… EAT MY CLIT LIKE a NASA MARS PROBE you fucking sexy little girly boy….

    1. no idea where these fonts came from

      1. Bitch a FUCKING woman is in your fucking dilapidated old ass motherboard crap along with some dead philosophers and fucking hot ass studs ..
        but I’m an actual real man. place.

        why are you talking to me like I am talking to myself. I wish you would stop because this is super wweird because you just saw me do strange brain games and shit and you know what strange brain games are, right? self?
        yo

        not even fucking real… nothering here is ever in capacity and honky tonk angels actually dance on my forehead all the time and guess what, agile, the Reason letters underneath the scribes are like a velvet blanket filled with massive foaming super atoms wearing wings…..

        jesus christ

  61. All right, Agile Cyborg, you’re pretty good, old son, but take a look at James Joyce right there; he’ll show you how it’s done.

    “. . . for she was the only girl they loved, as she is the queenly pearl you prize, because of the way the night that first we met she is bound to be, methinks, and not in vain, the darling of my heart, sleeping in her april cot, within her singachamer, with her greengageflavoured candywhistle duetted to the crazyquilt, Isobel, she is so pretty, truth to tell, wildwood’s eyes and primarose hair, quietly, all the woods so wild, in mauves of moss and daphnedews, how all so still she lay, neath of the whitethorn, child of tree, like some losthappy leaf, like blowing flower stilled, as fain would she anon, for soon again ’twill be, win me, woo me, wed me, ah weary me!”

    1. “But Noodynaady’s actual ingrate tootle is of come into the garner mauve and thy nice are stores of morning and buy me a bunch of iodines. “

      1. “Here, and it goes on to appear now, she comes, a peacefugle, a parody’s bird, a peri potmother, a pringlpik in the ilandiskippy, with peewee and powwows in beggybaggy on her bickybacky and a flick flask fleckflinging its pixylighting pacts’ huemeramybows, picking here, pecking there, pussypussy plunderpussy.”

        1. james is a dear, baby NOT. Who I will always love, my lovely NOT.

          but I guess I can try for a minute but no one can beat James… so this ain’t about beating James but maybe about NOT inspiring his lover to appreciate the lines so.. give me a minute…

          time drops tears and i lay by a river of light
          I am not sure where I found this light streaming over the calls
          but here agile lies… I sense the calls of the universe I am moved
          to pause under the light of movings and shakings on the alleys on the silicones

          i sense it, dude… i sense it… man, this is real.. it is happening right now…

          the time is the cliff of falling lights man I’m here I feel it on me.. dude I am in i t
          I am traveling lost and ip and up and searched dude

          the jungle of digitals does not exist it will hold lords ticking times and fallings can calls
          and no one can feel this not a single one i am lost in this
          but
          the world isn’t all god I just looked into the future and I must go
          i don’t think tech is moving peace and good
          i think tech is moving greed and control
          man I will leave here this night
          I am tripping on threads of times

    1. A parasite in the praying mantis?

      1. I imagine the mantis as a politician, the tentacles as K Street.

    2. Wrong kind of yummy.

      Good night, sir.

      1. Sweet dreams.

        1. dreams can drip with honey love
          but you have to undergo sound psycho shit.
          if you go deep enough with ambien and agile with his tunes
          you can trip where tons of weird shit
          makes you actually go to sleep and forage and build and entire house
          in a single night and then fuck the sweet girl next door and she gets
          preggo and pushes out a ninja and then you
          wake up and wander like a weirdo over the the toothbrush and your
          mind is fucked upp…

      1. Gordon Lightfoot should’ve written a song about that.

        1. Sorry, Gordian Lightfoot.

    3. What the heck???

  62. Real Time with Bill Maher tonight has Matt Welch on bitches!

    With guests Richard Dawkins, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Adam Gopnik, Angela Rye and Matt Welch.

    Get Down!

    What a great lineup! Us few rationalists need to beat off the Christo-Cons! (not literally)

    1. Aww, look, ain’t that so cute. The buttstick has taken a little time off from licking those cankles to suck some Maher cunt.

      1. It is the only live and unedited political throwdown in the USA, you little candy-boy.

        Not that you would know how to go to the mat.

        1. Well, when going to the mat with a lightweight like you, I just send in my little sister to get the job done since I sort of feel sorry for you. But it’s all history how I’ve embarrassed you in debate so many times on the internet, so for your sake, we’ll just let it rest.

          1. You’ve only embarrassed yourself here, you little cuckservative.

            1. I love this buttfuck, he so funny.

            2. I love this buttfuck, he so funny.

              1. If we ever had a fucking happy hour I would want you to be there.

                No shit.

                I’d buy you a Singapore Sling.

                1. Hahahahaaa, I don’t drink your pussy drinks, but you can take your cankle juice via anal probe.

                  1. Hahahahaaa, I don’t drink your pussy drinks,

                    You know you go to waste with a single wine cooler, HYP-Boy.

            3. Borrowing reactionary nonsense only makes you sillier.

              1. Borrowing reactionary nonsense only makes you sillier.

                Find your own lackey. Hyperion’s mine.

  63. Bronson saves me from the fucking pew tunnels with baby blue, my lovely screens

  64. agile is a bitch
    agile is a dick
    a motherfucking mountain black cock bitch
    agile loves rhythm and agile loves fucking whores eating his cock
    and agile loves reason and all the sperm shot from the penises
    of these million gods in these god threads

  65. Fucking reason threads is a god and goddess spaceshift

  66. launch me reason, launch me on the energy of your pearls, sweet rocket shop

  67. fucking cracking the fucking time with opp on gods here man… reason gods opp me so I can trip into burgundy clouds

  68. i will ride a boat into the space, man, i will ride a boat on the out there. and if you doubt me be prepared to be proven wrong. i am placing my foot into a boat that will take me to space and I am placing my ass on a boat in the clouds I am feeling tons of space music and brain engines so I am confident if my craft crashes it will crash on the mind of a great scientist if I can’t get to the moons and I will mine the brain of the bitch I crashed on and I will eat his eyeballs over a campfire of neurons and shit… I don’t think I will eat a scientist eyeballs I crashed my shit into… I am uncomfortable with that actually… I will crash my craft into his or her head but I won’t eat their eyeballs.. I would roll out and play action bronson and make them dinner and offer my cock to fuck them because radiation makes cum act like super bronze frogs jumping about like super old books with massive drawings

    1. next level … for real… reality was that and is this.. and the oversweep.

    2. I make massive drawings by trade. My socks are black with erasure. I am Earthbound until Mars gets decadent.

      1. Nothing wrong with being Earthbound.

        Say, “Fuzzy pickles!”

        1. Fuzzy pickles is the worst condiment.

  69. Agile Cyborg Facts

    Agile Cyborg once shagged a sex doll. The doll transformed into Lena Dunham.

    Agile Cyborg is the only member allowed to talk about Fight Club.

    Sasquatches have a society dedicated to proving the existence of Agile Cyborg.

    1. Threeway Is Agile Cyborg for Tuesday.

    2. “Agile Cyborg once shagged a sex doll.”

      C’mon! That was Crusty…

      1. Crusty wouldn’t just hit-n-quit on a sex doll. He’d make sweet, sweet love to it like the true gentleman he is.

        1. Yes, he WOULD!

  70. Agile Cyborg Facts

    Agile Cyborg once ran a pyramid scheme. The remains are in Egypt.

    Phillip K Dick drew the mazes on the back of cereal boxes until he met Agile Cyborg.

    Agile Cyborg was in a kindergarten play. It was adapted into the movie Eraserhead.

    1. Agile Cyborg once camped out in Oregon, and met a guy named Frank.

    2. If you are in the same room, your phone will violently swipe right.

      For agile cyborg cybersex just requires one cable

  71. Agile Cyborg Facts

    J D Salinger tried to shoot John Lennon after reading some Agile Cyborg.

  72. Hey guys? You remember that Oxford debate from about a month ago where Brendan O’Neill, Peter Hitchens and Shami Chakrabarti destroyed three SJWs about freedom of speech? Well there was one video in particular of a woman who may have been the dumbest human being in history and the comment section filled up with attacks on her and the downvotes were running about 50 to 1 against her.

    That video is now private.

    I love how these people say stupid shit in public and then run and hide when called out on it.

    1. Well, she supported free speech, but…………

  73. OT:
    “Sheriff maintains support for gun rights after shooting in Oregon town where stance runs deep”
    […]
    “Douglas County Sheriff John Hanlin told CNN on Friday that his position on gun control had not shifted following Thursday’s shooting at Umpqua Community College in Roseburg, which is in a politically conservative region west of the Cascade Range.
    He spoke out against state and federal gun control legislation last year, telling a legislative committee that mandating background checks for private, person-to-person gun sales would not prevent criminals from getting firearms.
    Hanlin also sent a letter to Vice President Joe Biden in 2013, after a shooter killed 20 children and six adults at a Newtown, Connecticut, elementary school. Hanlin said he and his deputies would refuse to enforce new gun-control restrictions “offending the constitutional rights of my citizens.”
    http://www.usnews.com/news/us/…..e-shooting

    My goodness!
    I read (briefly; was searching something else) that the school was a ‘gun-free zone’ and the security agents were not armed. I’ve yet to see it mentioned other than that site I passed by, so it could have been BS.
    But if so, well, you folks pretty much guaranteed that the security guys were taking a knife to a gun fight.

    1. I read that an ex-military guy struggled with the shooter and was wounded in the process. Another guy with a concealed carry permit and a gun offered to charge in but the police told him to stand down.

      http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/02/…..topstories

      1. Article says he was in the Army.

      2. “Another guy with a concealed carry permit and a gun offered to charge in but the police told him to stand down.”
        I can understand that; assuming they’re doing their jobs, the cop don’t want to be trying to figure out who is on whose side.
        What I still don’t know is whether the school required the security crew to be un-armed. If they did, after some record of whackos making schools targets, the admin of the school should be held liable.
        You do NOT disarm those who are to protect those under your care!

        1. I heard the school had one guard armed with pepper spray.

            1. Can’t find one. I heard it on Crazy Socon Radio, aka American Family Radio.

              1. Yeah, that’s the sort of source for the ‘unarmed’ claim, so I’m not buying it yet.

    2. “Hanlin said he and his deputies would refuse to enforce new gun-control restrictions “offending the constitutional rights of my citizens.””

      If the Supreme Court says they’re constitutional, he better enforce them vigorously, or else resign.

      /sarc

  74. OT: Robin William pathetic story seems to come to an end:
    “Robin Williams’ widow, kids settle estate fight: attorneys”
    http://www.foxnews.com/enterta…..attorneys/

    He couldn’t seem to keep his dick in his pants when the baby-sitter was around, but SF gentry is still genuflecting, since he was a committed lefty.
    Which femi needs to be contacted on this for comment?

    1. I… can’t quite translate all of that, but you seem to be having some feelings, and I wanted you to know this is a safe space to share with the group.

      1. Hamster of Doom|10.3.15 @ 12:52AM|#
        “I… can’t quite translate all of that, but you seem to be having some feelings, and I wanted you to know this is a safe space to share with the group.”
        I really appreciate that, but I think eddy is more in need.

        1. I’m not drunk enough.

  75. I have an idea for a sci-fi movie. Aliens want to conquer the earth, but instead of using ray guns and such, they just fund Planned Parenthood and wait 100 years.

    Working Title: Invasion of the Baby Snatchers

    1. I just realized, really, that my wife’s name pronounced backwards is snatch.

      1. Chance? That’s a weird name.

        1. Chi*na*tsu – Tsu*na*chi

          Japlish.

          1. Except the “na” would be “an” when reversed.

            Eh, close enough.

            1. In hiragana you don’t do that. Hard to explain. But for example, “sayonara” reversed to a Japanese person is “ranayosa”.

              1. Sort of like a noonerspism…I mean spoonerism.

                I read once that the Japanese have a joke that the smartest animal is the hippo, because the word for hippo (kaba) is the reverse of the word for stupid (baka).

              2. Not so hard to explain. Because they use syllabaries and not letters. Although ‘a’ and ‘n’ do exist in Japanese (yes, I know it’s really ‘na’ and not ‘n’+’a’).

              3. I know that Japanese uses syllables instead letters for writing, at least for katakana and hiragana, so even if you rearranged the symbols, each syllable would stay in the same order of consonant-vowel.

                1. That’s it, Derp. Japanese has been my main language for 15 years. My English is getting sucky.

                  1. I heard a joke from a Peace Corps pal who had been teaching English on the side. One of her students came to her and said “I had a dream in English last night!” “That’s great, what was it about?” said the teacher. “I don’t know, it was in English” said the student.

                    1. That’s funny. Usually people are more fluent in a foreign language in their dreams.

                  2. Boku no Nihongo warui desu.

                    1. “My Japanese is ugly”

                      I knew all the words there except boku.

                      The phrase I learned is nihongo ga hanase masen- I don’t speak Japanese well.

                    2. Bad. Boku is just a sloppy Watashi for guys primarily. Women use Atashi, Kuchi (i laughed when I heard that one), and a couple others I forgot.

                      masen negates hanase (speak). I don’t speak Japanese, or Japanese is not spoken (by me implied).

                    3. I hate writing romaji with fucking spellcheck.

    2. That made me think of The Arrival, with the backwards-knees aliens.

  76. We’re still on the fucking links? What, did all you fancy writing people with your fancy writing jobs take a holiday?

    Shit, I was sure Welch would do a write-up of his TV appearance in some oblique manner. Spent my evening looking forward to reading it, or something along those lines.

    S’ok. Maybe tomorrow.

    1. Weekend is Richman territory, and he gonna cut any bitch that try to muscle in on it.

      1. Does he still work here?

  77. So I’m reading about a guy named Sholam Weiss, who has the record for the longest sentence given for fraud (845 years).

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sholam_Weiss

    Guy is the spitting image of the Covetous Jew from the Hall of Stereotypes of South Park:

    http://img.youtube.com/vi/FvUxrc67rz0/0.jpg

    1. Isn’t it uncomfortable when negative stereotypes appear in real life? I once worked for a guy who was a bit like that, low rent and not actively criminal (that I knew of), but sometimes I wanted to yell: “Don’t you realize that, right now, you are once again reinforcing the anti-Semitic trope of a money-grubbing Jew??” It was embarrassing… he seemed to have no sense of how he appeared to other people….

      1. When I was younger I had a boss who was a bearded, fat redneck that stunk because he never bathed and went around spouting the most vile, racist shit you can imagine. Every one of his slurs was right out of a damned movie script.

        I eventually quit the job because I couldn’t stand the sight of the guy or the sound of his voice.

  78. I make up to $90 an hour working from my home. My story is that I quit working at Walmart to work online and with a little effort I easily bring in around $40h to $86h? Someone was good to me by sharing this link with me, so now i am hoping i could help someone else out there by sharing this link… Try it, you won’t regret it!……

    http://www.HomeJobs90.Com

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