Reason Weekly Contest: Facebook's Dislike Button

Last week's winners revealed

FB

Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:

Now that Facebook is finally getting a "dislike" button, what other button should it get next?

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to [e-mail]. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "FACEBOOK in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Aug. 21. Winners will appear Friday, Sept. 25, right here at Reason.com.

In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results of last week's contest: Sample the culture of any group other than your own and you may be accused of the new PC crime of "cultural appropriation." This happened to Katy Perry was when she dressed like a geisha for an awards ceremony. We asked you to come up with the headline of another celebrity defending his or her "cultural appropriation."

THE WINNER:

Cellist Yo-Yo Ma Defends Against Critics who Accuse Him of "Cultural Appropriation" of German and Russian Musicians — Peter J. Gillotte, Overland, KS

SECOND PLACE:

Georgia Man Simultaneously Eaten by Alligator and Swallowed by Sinkhole: Florida Man Feels Like His Identity Was Stolen—Free Society, OH

THIRD PLACE:  Hillary Clinton Claims her Fake Southern Accent was Cleared by the Appropriations Committee—Kc Daugirdas

 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Elizabeth Warren Defends Her Choice of "Pocahottie" Halloween Costume—Tracy Davis, Lawrence, KS

Kim Jong-un Seen in Khaki Shorts, Flip Flops, Ridiculed for American Cultural Appropriation —Eric Larsen, West Saint Paul, MN

Katy Perry Assailed Further by Indians for Her Appropriation of Pajamas, Claims Ignorance of British Colonial Atrocities—John Jordan, Oceanside, CA

Surviving Village People Defend Cultural Appropriation of Gay Things—Colin Blake, Boston, MA

Comments

[lap83]

flag for the NSA

[Lee G]

MICROAGGRESSION

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Ooh, that’s a good one.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Although, as I think on it, it would probably be more likely to show up as a Not OK button.

[Florida Man]

Not OK button

It’s a Facebook button, not a Reason headline generator.

[Scottzilla]

Problematic button.

[RBS]

The post is highly disturbing.

[Zeb]

Or maybe “never OK”.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Farmville Subsidies button.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

New button coming soon to Facebook, the Who Cares button. The easiest way to let all your friends that you really have no interest in what they had for lunch.

[RBS]

That’s what other social media is for. Facebook is for posting memes of questionable veracity.

[Idle Hands]

#

[Florida Man]

RACIST11!!!111/!!!112 button

[mad.casual]

It would actually make sense if the whole debacle over the Confederate Battle Flag was really Facebook appropriating it from the public domain so they could use it as their dislike button.

[sarcasmic]

Spank Bank

[Dr No]

*Click*

[sarcasmic]

WTF

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Check Your Privilege
Problematic
Not OK
Cultural Appropriation

[LoneWaco]

a Hitler button
a rape button
a mexican ass sex button

[WTF]

No marijuana button?

[Lee G]

TIWTANFL

[Drave Robber]

Aunt Google thought I was looking for ‘titanfall’.

[Princess Trigger]

I support this post because it agrees with my previously held or pre-conceived opinions.

[HolgerDanske]

Isn’t that effectively what their like button already is?

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

A Check Your Privilege Button.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

To show their support for gays, Facebook announces the new Fabulous! button.

[Idle Hands]

I don’t know what it will do but it will probably be black.

[Krieger's Waifu]

SPLOOSH button

[BiMonSciFiCon]

A button that inserts Kate Upton into all of your friends’ pictures.

[HazelMeade]

The shame button – this button summons an army of SJWs to comment on and dislike your post.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

SWARM

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

A I’m Fapping to Your Nubile Daughter’s Bikini Pics button.

[Idle Hands]

I thought that was just known.

[WTF]

A “Fuck You” button would be useful.

[kV]

Or, better yet, a “Fuck off, slaver” button

[WTF]

Even better.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

In Colorado and Washington only, the I’m So High Right Now button.

[UnCivilServant]

A “Delete” button that actually works.

[Schei?e Schau]

I just deleted my fb and requested permanent deletion. I’ve never experienced something so cathartic.

[commodious spittoon]

Flag Trigger Warning.

Calling it now, it’s inevitable: community-driven trigger warnings.

[HazelMeade]

The dollar sign button – it doesn’t do much, but whenever you click it it takes a penny out of your bank account and gives it to facebook, while making a ka-ching sound.

[Zombie Jimbo]

That makes cents!

[commodious spittoon]

It’s about time Facebook got in on some of that Zynga action.

[Scottzilla]

That’s what all of the buttons do.

[UnCivilServant]

Next week can we get a topic where I can be funny again?

[Scarecrow & WoodChipper Repair]

Again?!?

[UnCivilServant]

I was on a roll in This one

[Fist of Etiquette]

The ‘I’m Now Stalking Your Children Thanks To Your Posts About Them’ Button

[Rhywun]

Self-Destruct button

[Crusty Juggler]

I had the same idea.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

The Reported To DCF button.

[commodious spittoon]

*applause*

[IndyEleven]

OrderDroneStrike

[Suthenboy]

A middle finger button

[cavalier973]

The “Its really my Ring Finger” button for polite people.

[commodious spittoon]

“Like But Not Like-Like” button.

[Mr Drew]

+1

[Zeb]

How about a “you aren’t actually required to have an opinion on things you don’t know anything about” button? Or perhaps “please, please shut the fuck up about politics” button.

[cavalier973]

The “meh” button

[Swiss Servator]

This one.

[lap83]

I would’ve clicked it right before deleting my account last year

[Rebel Scum]

Check your privilege.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

In a throwback to the ’90s, the A/S/L button.

[lap83]

whatever you want me to be / yes / behind you

[cavalier973]

A button with a picture of an angry looking Trump that says “You’re Fired”, and a second one with a happy Trump that says “Its UUUUUUUGE!!”

[Scottzilla]

The “Who’s your friend?” button.

[cavalier973]

Buttons for each of the candidates for President, of whatever party. The button posts a pic of the candidate without comment.

[cavalier973]

“My cat picture got fifteen Trumps, four Hillaries, four Rubios, three Sanders, and a Huckabee. What does it all mean?”

[Princess Trigger]

Where’s Your God Now?

[Lee G]

AS IF

[R C Dean]

Now that Facebook is finally getting a “dislike” button, what other button should it get next?

An “Off” button?

[Zeb]

I find closing the browser and never logging back in to Facebook works pretty well.

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Never creating a Facebook account to begin with is even easier.

[R C Dean]

I should have been more clear:

I meant a button that would turn Facebook off. All of it.

[Zeb]

Yes. I made a fake account so I could see what the big deal was and look at some pictures. But I never use it anymore since I don’t want to hate all of my friends.

[juris imprudent]

The face-punch button.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

I CAN’T BELIEVE MY FRIEND IS SO STUPID button

[Free Market Socialist $park?]

Otherwise known as the facepalm button?

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

I like it!

[Swiss Servator]

Oooh. That one might work!

[Jerry on the sea]

The uptrump button.

[B.P.]

“I’m with stupid.”

“I may be drunk, but you’re looking pretty good for forty.”

[Ron]

they need a condolences button. Nothing like clicking on the like button when there is a death announcement

[B.P.]

Most often used for engagement, wedding, and birth announcements.

[Crusty Juggler]

An “affirm me!” button.

Related: “I really need you to affirm me” button.

[Crusty Juggler]

A button which automatically tells you that I think that whatever your little, fat child did is cute.

[lap83]

the sex offender notification button

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

AKA the “I’m with Crusty” button?

[Crusty Juggler]

A nutpunch button.

[lap83]

“I literally can’t even” button

[Brian]

This week, kindly type “FACEBOOK in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, Aug. 21. Winners will appear Friday, Sept. 25, right here at Reason.com.

So, we’re already about two weeks too late?

[Brian]

Really, three weeks?

Fuck it, time, how does that work?

[Notorious UGCC]

Somewhat related: I just got an online petition via Facebook saying that Facebook is being used by predators to spread child pornography. I’m supposed to sign a petition to Facebook, via Facebook, asking them to stop what they’ve allegedly been doing.

[Crusty Juggler]

That is how they get you. IT IS A TRAP!

[Notorious UGCC]

I’m not going to accuse Facebook of sexual predation. I don’t have any evidence, and I’m certainly not going to search for any.

[lap83]

You don’t have to sign it. I mean if FB turns into a wicked den of child pornography because the petition didn’t get enough signatures we’ll know who to blame. But it’s up to you.

[Crusty Juggler]

A “Would” button.

Additionally, this website should also have a “would” button. Thank you.

[Dr. Fronkensteen]

Word

[Drave Robber]

a Click Random Button button

[Dr. Fronkensteen]

For Reason a No, Fuck you cut spending buttom.

For Facebook
a Who are you again? button.

[mad.casual]

For Reason a No, Fuck you cut spending buttom.

NO! Edit button comes first!

[Mr Drew]

Mansplained button!

[Notorious UGCC]

Will the dislike button be hooked up to an electric wire attached to the Facebook user you dislike?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eP4INdt_-fk

[AlmightyJB]

Let’s Bang

[LoneWaco]

a Nemesis button

[JanineWeber]

Im making over $7k a month working part time. I kept hearing other people tell me how much money they can make online so I decided to look into it. Well, it was all true and has totally changed my life.

This is what I do. http://www.OnlineJobs100.Com

[Mongo]

A “You look Jewish” button.

[Millard Fillmore]

A “help I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” button.

Get it? Because people who use Facebook are old

*Laughs in an abnormally deep voice while clapping like a seal*