Hillary Clinton Questions Scott Walker's Leadership Skills Because He Took on Unions, California Asset Forfeiture Reform Bil Fails, New Photos of Pluto: A.M. Links

• 

  NASA

  Hillary Clinton says Scott Walker is not a "real leader," because of his attempts to reform public unions.

• Democrats in the Senate appear to have enough support to prevent any effort by Republicans to derail the Iran nuclear deal from being successful.
• A bill in California aimed at limiting the practice of asset forfeiture failed to pass in the Assembly.
• A Florida man was arrested for allegedy trying to blow up a 9/11 memorial in Kansas City.
• A new prehistoric human species may have been identified from remains found in a cave in South Africa.
• The New England Patriots defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first game of the football season.
• New photos from Pluto, while Elon Musk floats the idea of nuking Mars.

New at Reason.com:

• Brickbat: Too Close for Comfort by Charles Oliver
• Movie Review: The Visit by Kurt Loder
• Will Trump's America Demand Quotas for Whites? India's upper-caste protests show that the scenario is not so bizarre. by Shikha Dalmia
• California Unions Launch Pre-Emptive Strike Against Possible End to Mandatory Dues 'Orientation' bill seeks to preempt possible Supreme Court decision next summer by Steven Greenhut

Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

The New England Patriots defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first game of the football season.

By cheating with headsets.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

"The New England Patriots defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers in the first game of the football season."

Damn you, Fist!

I was gonna say... HEADSETGATE!

Why not? At this point the Pats are the Bush of the NFL. You can pin global warming on them now.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That's what you get for planning ahead instead of just blurting things out.

[robc]

First game? Football seasdon started tweo weeks ago.

[Crusty Juggler]

Tom Brady as Che Guevara

[AlmightyJB]

He looks like a monkey

[PM]

R A C I S T
A
C
I
S
T

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

And he smells like one, too?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

WHERE IS ROGER?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Manchester, NH (PRWEB) September 10, 2015

Southern New Hampshire University (SNHU) signed a multi-year partnership agreement with the New England Patriots. The partnership will provide opportunities for SNHU students, including internships and guest lectures, as well as educational community outreach programs throughout the region.

I've noticed more plagiarism this term.

[Swiss Servator]

*applause*

[commodious spittoon]

What did I just read? I mean, the words were in the right order and semantically they made sense, but I'm still confused. Why aren't universities just teaching from their curricula? I assume they have textbooks. Do they still use those? What does partnering with the Patriots or the military have to do with educating students? What do they expect to do that thousands of years of pedagogy hasn't already figured out?

[Heroic Mulatto]

What does partnering with the Patriots ... have to do with educating students?

We offer two degrees in sports management.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

89) Top 5 Best Concerts I've ever attended

#1?Bicycle Face, '92 (?) My weird buddies in high school and I were big fans of this obscure band. They had funny, melodic punk-ish songs and we drove up to Chapel Hill for a show of theirs. The audience was basically us and the two other bands on the playbill. Bicycle Face played instruments that looked homemade, including a guitar made of plywood and a drum kit assembled from trash cans. This remains for me perhaps the Platonic ideal of what a show should be: small, with dedicated fans who know every word, and an intense connection between audience and performers amazed somebody drove more than 100 miles to see them play.

#2--Dave Holland Quintet, I saw these guys in 2007 at the Library of Congress. Yeah, I'm old now and I go see jazz bands. I was afraid it would be an all-white NPR-type audience but in fact it was a hip and fired-up crowd. Dave Holland's band displayed unbelievable musicianship, and my wife and I actually sat next to the drummer's brother, who had come up from Jamaica to see his brother's first show with the band.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

#3--White Zombie & Pantera, This was in Nashville, probably '95, and I went with my younger brother. I knew the show might get kind of rough so I left my glasses in the car. When Pantera came on all these bonfires went up instantly on the lawn. I was standing watching the show when a mosh pit formed around me. Somehow in the scrum my shirt got ripped right from my back, and I had to buy a Pantera shirt on the way out just so I'd have something to wear home. Later that shirt itself got ripped when I got in a fight at a frat house, but that's a different story.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

#4--Tina Turner, Little Rock, '93, When I was in high school my parents asked if I wanted to see Tina Turner with them. I wasn't too interested but the tickets were free so why not? I was blown away. This was a stadium setting, tens of thousands of people, yet I've hardly ever seen a performer connect with an audience so well. Tina Turner had unbelievable energy for a woman who was probably in her mid-60s at that point. Chris Isaak opened and was also great.

#5--Us3/Matthew Sweet/Lemonheads/fIREHOSE/Tony Bennett, others??When I went to visit my buddy in Dallas over Christmas break in, I think, '96, he made up for the Steve Miller debacle by taking me to this Christmas Day show. Crowd was pretty unfriendly (what's wrong with you, Dallas?) but the slate of performers was unstoppable. Tony Bennett was the biggest surprise, holding the attention of a crowd of teens and 20-somethings with an impeccable high-energy set, but Us3 was great, Matthew Sweet did a nice acoustic set, Evan Dando came out and apologized for a headcold but proceeded to give a great performance anyway (contrast with Cobain's bullshit).

[Private Chipperbot]

5. Kiss at Tiger stadium. First concert ever there and first time Kiss performed with makeup since whenever. Alice in Chains opened and was last concert before lead singer killed himself.
4. Verve Pipe in my fraternity house at WMU.
3. Garth Brooks before he retired and got fat. I didn't like country music at all back then but he put on a hell of a show.
2. U2 at the Palace, Achtung Baby tour. Played old stuff. Sounded great.
1. Mumford & Sons at Pine Knob this summer.

[Private Chipperbot]

Oh, and Lapeer Days free concert featuring Warrant. Holy hell that was fun.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

My wife saw Garth Brooks in high school, and despite not being a country music fan also remembers it as one of her best shows.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Yeah, Garth is one of those performers that you can go and have a great time even if you're not a country music fan. Everyone I know who's seen him live has enjoyed the show.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Somebody talked me into seeing Bryan Adams in the mid 80's....

Same thing. I'm still no fan of his, but he put on a hell of a show.

The only reason I went was that the Hooters were opening, and had just started to hit it big. Turned out, they never hit it big. Listening to them now, kinda like being 'Rickrolled'.

Saw Blotto at a bar in Albany one night while I was in college (88?). Kinda goofy, but it was fun as fuck.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Do The Wiggles count?

[invisible furry hand]

James Hetfield was once spotted at The Wriggles throwing devil signs, so yes

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Those guys must be so high when they perform.

[Lee G]

The Tubes
Brian Setzer
BareNaked Ladies (Gordon Tour)
Weird Al

[PM]

Oh man, I forgot about Weird Al. He played my county fair when I was probably 9 or 10 years old. It was right after Bad Hair Day had come out, and I had just gotten into his music. Hilarious show.

[Lee G]

Awesome show, just for the fun

[Rufus J. Firefly]

BNL were fun. They did a rendition of Sesame Street's 'Near-Far'. It was hilarious.

[SugarFree]

BNL were fun.

I hate you now. A pox on you. A pox.

[Lee G]

You're probably lying in bed right now, just like Brian Wilson

[Fist of Etiquette]

Dr. Lee, tell me you're not just a pedagogue.

[Lee G]

I'm just a new kid on the block

[Crusty Juggler]

Listen up, everybody
If you wanna take a chance
Just get on the floor
And do the new kids' dance

Don't worry 'bout nothin'
'Cause it won't take long
We're gonna put you in a trance
With a funky song

[Rufus J. Firefly]

The tickets were FREE! And the wife liked them so...happy wife, happy life.

[SugarFree]

Pox.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Brian Setzer

The very first concert I went to (at Red Rocks, natch), Setzer opened up for George Thorogood. The audience was mostly drunk biker types, and Setzer actually ended up getting booed off the stage because they expected him to just play maybe 3 or 4 songs--this was about four years after his Stray Cats stint so they weren't expecting him to play much before Thorogood started. However, his set went about an hour and people got extremely restless.

[Antilles]

"The Tubes"

Saw them perform live in a tiny bar (about 50 people) way back in 1986. Good show.

[Lee G]

I saw them in the 90's and the band was about as tight as any I have ever seen. Horribly underattended for the quality of the show.

[PM]

I don't go to a lot of shows, and I've never really had a bad experience at one, but in terms of showmanship, I have to tip my hat to Noel Gallagher. Saw him back in May and it was just stellar.

[Restoras]

Rush
Rush
Rush
Rush
Rush
U2
The Who
Van Halen
Sonny Landreth
Santana

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Rush was my first big concert. Still in my top 10. And still one of the loudest shows I've ever seen. Affected my hearing for days afterwards.

[gaijin]

1st concert was Rush headlining, with Judas Priest and Uriah Heep opening...impressionable youth was impressed.

[Restoras]

I should add Blue Oyster Cult - but only because I saw them in a really small club and they were playing under a pseudonym - Soft White Underbelly.

[commodious spittoon]

I catch them whenever they come through. They only ever play the cozy casino venues outside town. Dharma is a menace, even in his sixties: after breaking a string and playing through the rest of the song he was brought a second guitar on which he proceeded to break another string. Looked like he thoroughly enjoyed himself the whole time.

Worst performance: Bob Dylan.

[Lee G]

The closest I've gotten to a Rush concert is a tribute band. Just not the same.

Genesis was actually good though. They even performed "In The Cage"

[Colonel Slanders]

1. Motorhead (opening for Ozzy) at The Masonic Temple in Detroit 1981
2. High On Fire - Smalls Club, Hamtramck 2006(?)
3. Slayer - Blondies, Detroit 1984
4. Metallica - Agora Ballroom, Cleveland 1983
5. Skeletonwitch - The Crofoot, Pontiac 2009(?)

[Drake]

I often kick myself for not getting to a Metallica concert in the Burton era.

[Lord Humungus]

best concerts?

Sturgill Simpson - saw him just last February - he has a fantastic Estonian guitarist in his band, who are all very tight players. One of those rare times where the live show blows away their albums.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDMI_ySFkhQ

Destroyer - this was ~2 years ago. Again one of those rare times where the live performance met or exceeded their studio albums
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_ypVHGa1vM

[PBR Streetgang]

Best: Public Enemy in 500 person club; Tibetan Freedom Concert 1998 (the one where the girl got struck by lightening), and Pavement.
Worst: REM, Wall Flowers and Pearl Jam.

[Lee G]

The worst for me is a tie between REM and The Cult. Ian Astbury was so drunk/high/hallucinating, I don't think he knew he was on a stage.

[Lee G]

I take that back. I saw King Missile in New Orleans. Gah, they were horrible.

[Lord Humungus]

I will also add a great 1996 summertime BBQ / basement show with The Hudson Falcons, the GC5, and a hockey inspired punk band - can't recall their name right now, grr... old age.

The Young Gods in 1990 were awesome too...

Same with AC/DC in '89.

But I've seen a lot mediocrity and number of really shitty bands.

[B.P.]

Slapshot?

[Drake]

1. J. Geils Band in the early 80's. Nothing else even came close. Funk and chaos!

2. Dio '84 - Holy fuck! The VOICE!

3. Rush

4. Fleetwood Mac was surprisingly good. Lindsey Buckingham can play.

[Apple]

Guns 'N' Roses - opening for Alice Cooper in Dallas 1987. Because they were the opening band, most of the audience was in line for nachos or in the bathroom. First time I heard the riff to Sweet Child of Mine I was standing ten feet in front of Slash. They were great.

Pixies - at Vanderbilt in Nashville 1992. Right before they broke up. Didn't say a word to the audience the whole time. I loved it.

Richard Thompson Trio - Dallas 2013.

The Rolling Stones - Little Rock 2006. Couldn't believe how young they seemed when you can't see their faces up close.

[Fist of Etiquette]

...Elon Musk floats the idea of nuking Mars.

Yeah, nuke those Martian fuckers.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

Won't this release tons of radioactive particles into the atmosphere? Or would the radioactivity only be local? Not much point in having a warmer, more breathable atmosphere if the whole surface is irradiated.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Well, the Genesis Device is out of the question.

[Illocust]

Radiation goes down to acceptable levels for human in about twenty thirty years (the amount of time it will take us to seriously get there anyways).

[db]

Not necessarily. Most radioactive particulate from a nuclear detonation comes from irradiated dirt kicked up by a ground level explosion, as I recall. Unless the device is specifically designed to emit radioactive particulate (like a cobalt bomb or whatever). An air burst high enough up shouldn't release much material.

[expat]

Has he built his Illudium Pu 38 Explosive Space Modulator yet?

[Swiss Servator]

A Mars-shattering Kaboom?!

[Mickey Rat]

Musk comes out as a Green.

[invisible furry hand]

The Daily Fail is suing Gawker because "this is the best chance that the Daily Mail will ever have to tear a strip out of Gawker at a time when it could really hurt them."

[Illocust]

What are they suing over? I really don't want to go to a link like that on my work computer.

[invisible furry hand]

Popbitch is a gossip site, so it's SFW.

The Mail wants to sue Gawker for a story they published on their site entitled My Year Ripping Off The Web With The Daily Mail Online. It detailed the personal experience of a freelance writer, James King, who spent a year working shifts in the Mailonline newsroom in New York.

Unsurprisingly, King's piece wasn't particularly flattering. In fact, he went to town on the Mail suggesting that "basic journalism standards and ethics [were] casually and routinely ignored". He claims that plagiarism was common practice, that editors knowingly published inaccurate information and that he was specifically trained on how to bury attribution to other news sites.

The problem is that Gawker's boss did that mea culpa a few months ago on how there was no editorial control. A-ha, the smoking gun, says the Fail. Probably will fail but good nuisance value if you've got cash and are vindictive

[Illocust]

Nice, and who wouldn't be vindictive against Gawker? They already are going to treat you like crap, so you might as well get a few good licks in.

[Red Rocks Rockin]

In fact, he went to town on the Mail suggesting that "basic journalism standards and ethics [were] casually and routinely ignored".

So going to work for Gawker was the next logical step.

[invisible furry hand]

Asia's latest fashion trend: Wearing nothing but a plastic shopping bag

[Dark Lord of the wood chipper]

"Men can pull it off, too. "

No, no they cannot.

[Fist of Etiquette]

A man walks into his psychiatrist's office wearing nothing but a plastic shopping bag. The doctor takes one look at him and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

[PM]

Swiss, you want to take this one?

[Fist of Etiquette]

You laughed at that one. YOU ALL LAUGHED.

[PM]

You got me there.

[Swiss Servator]

*narrows gaze*

[Pope Jimbo]

What? Are you trying to say that a real man wouldn't be able to easily pull a plastic shopping bag off a small cute asian gal? What sort of wussies do you live around?

[Dark Lord of the wood chipper]

Pull, no. Rip, yes.

[Florida Man]

SFW?

[Crusty Juggler]

Yes, although be warned men are wearing the shopping bag as well.

[Restoras]

Technically, yes, but you may regret it regardless.

[Florida Man]

I regret nothing!

Also I like this comment.

They are degrading themselves as merchandise. I thought paying 150 bucks for a regular white T-shirt with? More

What a loser.

[Lee G]

What's with the anime models? It's creepy.

[Rhywun]

Not if you find ten-year-olds attractive, I guess.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hillary Clinton says Scott Walker is not a "real leader," because of his attempts to reform public unions.

I thought it would have been thanks to his lack of a college degree.

[invisible furry hand]

Teasing a scam email sender

"I shall be wearing a yellow poncho and a monocle and, so you know it's me, a carnation"

[gaijin]

Looking for a book reco...saw a quote from Lee Harris's Civilization And Its Enemies...anyone here read that? Worth the time?

The Enemy is someone who is willing to die in order to kill you. And while it is true that the Enemy always hates us for a reason ? it is his reason, and not ours.

[Illocust]

I Hillary dumb? Why would she bring up the one thing nearly everyone likes about Walker right as everyone is starting to forget about it? This will only increase his popularity.

[Citizen X]

Your first question sort of answers your second question.

[Illocust]

She corrupt as hell, but I never really thought of her as dumb. She really may need to switch out political advisors.

[Mickey Rat]

Because the Dem base hates him for it and that is her target audience right now.

[CatoTheChipper]

I get a bunch of solicitations from Dems and Dem-oriented groups. (They apparently think I'm a Democrat because I donate to anti-WoD groups.)

Walker is the #1 villain in their scare stories about evil Republican plans to bust unions, despoil the environment, war on women, starve children, deprive minorities of voting rights, etc, etc. The Kochs, of course, are the super-villains in the Dem narratives.

I'm pretty sure that they have substantial market research on what appeals to their base, and Walker-bashing must work well.

[Drake]

I think Hillary is dumb as a post. She can't drive, fax, cook, or do most of the other things we all take for granted. She flunked the DC bar exam and moved to Arkansas - the rest is a history of riding coattails and failing upwards.

http://www.americanthinker.com....._dumb.html

[Antilles]

The fact is most people support the idea of unions--because they're ignorant. I wonder if support for unions would be as high if they were described as the following: Would you be willing to pay more money for goods and services so that someone you don't know can enjoy a better standard of living than you ever will? Even a hardcore Progressive would oppose that.

[invisible furry hand]

A great guy with an unfortunate name which is probably STEVE SMITH'S alias

Ray Pugh, inspiration to children and adults, dies at 83

[Swiss Servator]

STEVE SMITH HAVE NO NEED OF ALIAS!

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

BUT SOMETIME LIKE TO ROLE-PLAY AS SMOKIE THE BEAR.

CATCH HIPPIE MAKING CAMP FIRE. PUNISH HIPPIE FOR FIRE SAFETY.

[Citizen X]

Definitely a case where it's better to go by "Raymond."

[PM]

7th Graders in Tennessee Made to Recite 'Allah Is the Only God' in Public School

Middle school parents in Tennessee are up in arms on learning that their children were instructed to recite and write, "Allah is the only god," as part of a world history project.

In the Maury County School District, students were assigned a Five Pillars of Islam project that included the translation of the pillar of "Shahada" as being, "There is no god but Allah; Muhammad is his prophet."

Joy Ellis, the mother of a seventh-grader at Spring Hill Middle School, said that Christian children should not be instructed to write the Shahada.

"This is a seventh grade state standard, and will be on the TCAP," Ellis said. "I didn't have a problem with the history of Islam being taught, but to go so far as to make my child write the Shahada, is unacceptable."

[Rufus J. Firefly]

This shit is getting crazy.

[Illocust]

Good lord parents breathe. Your kid isn't going to convert just because they memorized something for history class.

[Florida Man]

It's the same gripe atheist parents had with the pledge of allegiance, but I'm sure some of these parents had the attitude of love it or leave it.

[Free Society]

You've been all over the news lately, FM. Crazy shit man

[Florida Man]

Summer's end is nearing and we will have to hibernate soon, so it's one last hurrah.

[Citizen X]

When temperatures get cool enough that there are three consecutive nights in the 60s or below, Florida Men (and -Women) must hunker down someplace warm and enter metabolic stasis, or else perish.

Wait, maybe i'm thinking of mosquitoes.

[Free Society]

In the months leading up to their hibernation, Florida Men must consume three times their body weight of crystal meth.

[Citizen X]

... and either punch at least one police dog or take a shit on the floor of at least two different fast food franchises.

[Tonio]

No, it's not the same. Pledge of allegiance is reciting something every fucking day, something which is ceremonial in nature, not part of a lesson plan and it is assumed that you're reciting that public prayer because you actually believe in it. Being made to memorize that single phrase, and reproduce it once in the context of a history class is a different thing.

Having said that, the History teacher could have just as easily used a multiple-choice question.

[PM]

Still, that's really blurring the line between theology and history.

SLD: there shouldn't be public schools and then this wouldn't be an issue.

[RBS]

Look if you write something it means you support it.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

It's the fear of conversion. It's in context of everything we've seen.

Not to say nothing...but there's no need for that. In my opinion.

I could be wrong.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

It's not the fear of...sorry.

[Raven Nation]

No, they're not going to convert and, as RBS notes, it's not going to lead to conversion (and, depending on the theology of the parents involved, they may believe that).

But it is incredibly ignorant. It also invites obvious "double standard" challenges: if you're teaching a unit on the early church and had students recite the Lord's Prayer, you think any civic groups might protest? Or, take religion out of it (sort of), if you were teaching WWII, and you had students recite/copy the SS pledge, might that get people up in arms?

[Heroic Mulatto]

it's not going to lead to conversion (and, depending on the theology of the parents involved, they may believe that).

And yet, from the Muslim point of view, public recitation of the shahadah is the first, and in some cases, only step in conversion.

It is completely possible to learn about the Islamic faith, or any faith, as part of a comparative religions class or the like without in-class recitations of their creeds.

[Tonio]

^This.

[Citizen X]

From the non-Muslim point of view, it's just words.

[Heroic Mulatto]

From the non-Muslim point of view, it's just words.

I would amend that to read "From the non-religious point of view, it's just words". As Raven noted upthread, a believer of a different religion might consider the recitation of another faith's creed as blasphemous or what have you. The operative word being "recitation", yowling about learning the words or even writing them down as part of a history lesson is nonsense; however, incorporating public recitation into a lesson is a bit more dubious pedagogically.

[Timon 19]

Yeah, I can't really imagine some random Muslim (probably another kid) telling an otherwise Christian kid that "ZOMG, you're a Muslim now!" and the Christian kid believing and/or accepting it for more than a second, especially if the Christian kid is just doing it as part of schoolwork, and thus feels absolutely nothing but antipathy toward it because it's "work".

[db]

SS pledge...up in arms...

Video quid fecit ibi.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Shouldn't it be the 2nd person singular perfect active indicative, fecisti?

[db]

Oh, you didn't!

[Citizen X]

Schools also make kids raise their hands! That's, like, almost exactly the Nazi salute, man!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

This is south of Nashville, where Nashville's suburbs fade into rural TN, and one of the last places in the US I would expect something like this to happen. But I guess teachers can be idiots anywhere.

[Antilles]

Keep religion out of the classroom. Period.

[Timon 19]

I learned extensively about the Five Pillars in my Western Civilization class in (public) high school. Of course we also learned about foundational aspects of Judaism and Christianity.

No one lost their minds over it. This was the mid-90s, and taught by an Army Reservist/coach/teacher who spent much of the first Gulf War dealing with surrendering Iraqis in Kuwait.

[Antilles]

I have no problem teaching about the history of religion since it's always had a tremendous influence on every culture. But teachers holding prayer sessions (didn't happen here, but it has elsewhere) or requiring students to recite religious sayings is crossing the line. Just imagine the Progressive reaction if this incident involved Christianity rather than Islam. It's one thing to tell students about the Nazi salute, it's another to make them stand there an re-enact it.

[Lord at War]

I learned extensively about the Five Pillars in my Western Civilization class

What the fuck part of "Western Civ" has anything to do with Islam?

They burned the library at Alexandria, and got to Spain for a while. Meanwhile, I got through my public education without ever hearing the words "ten commandments"...

[Teaching Student]

I did that in 7th Grade, decade and a half ago.

[Fist of Etiquette]

A Florida man was arrested for allegedy trying to blow up a 9/11 memorial in Kansas City.

It's too soon for re-enactments, Florida Man.

[Florida Man]

Hold muh beer and watch dis!

[PM]

Former Shoals youth minister charged with sex crimes hired by church in Texas, warrant out for his arrest

BEDFORD, TX ? A former Muscle Shoals youth minister, who is facing almost 30 counts of rape and sodomy, is now working for another church.

The First Baptist Church in Bedford, Texas hired Charles Adcock as a temporary employee in the church's music ministry.

The church told reporters with KDFW they often do background checks, and Adcock has not been convicted of any crime.

"Given what he's been accused of and indicted for, it's incredibly irresponsible and reckless to take that risk with childrens' safety," stressed Amy Smith with the Survivors Network of Those Abused by Priests. "He's been here long enough, he's had a chance to possibly groom other families to trust him, other children."

Thursday, WHNT News 19 also learned Adcock has a new arrest warrant in Colbert County for violating the terms of his bond, for working around children.

[Private Chipperbot]

Adcock? Too easy.

[Tonio]

But surely his religious freedumz override that pesky old release bond.

Having said that, I'm highly dubious of terms of release like this. Surrender passport and promise not to flee? Legitimate in many cases. This? Just not sure.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Smokes Heroic Mulatto signal:

"Saudi Arabia offers Germany 200 mosques ? one for every 100 refugees who arrived last weekend"

http://www.independent.co.uk/n.....95082.html

[Heroic Mulatto]

For fuck's sake!

[Lee G]

Syria's richer Gulf neighbours have been accused of not doing their fair share in the humanitarian crisis

They don't need jobs, they just need a place to pound their heads on the floor.

[Free Society]

That's what Germany needs, more mosques. It's telling that these refugees didn't flee to one of the 30 or 40 countries closer to home than Germany. I wonder...

[Princess Trigger]

Such generous people.
I know some fundiis who would love to open some churches in the land of Suad.

[Brett L]

Will these be small mosques, say mosquitos?

[Jimbo]

You're Fired!

[Lord Humungus]

You Don't Have to 'Imagine' John Lennon Beat Women and Children?It's Just a Fact

That Lennon endured intense mental suffering is undeniable; in his 1980 interview with Playboy?which was published two days before Lennon was shot and killed in front of his Upper West Side apartment building?he describes his 1965 "fat Elvis period," during which he was "fat and depressed" and wrote the song "Help!" as, yes, a cry for help. He and the other Beatles were "smoking marijuana for breakfast," and periodically Lennon would endure "deep depressions where [he] would like to jump out the window." He admits to hitting women?"any woman"?and explains, "That is why I am always on about peace, you see. It is the most violent people who go for love and peace." Later in the interview, he justifies his smoking habit with his macrobiotic diet, saying, "Macrobiotic people don't believe in the big C. Whether you take that as a rationalization or not, macrobiotics don't believe that smoking is bad for you." This is not necessarily harmful to anyone but himself, but it is evidence of Lennon's God complex as well as his general self-satisfied douchiness.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

He even admitted it in 'I'm just a jealous guy'.

[TwB]

John Lennon was just bitter that he wasn't Paul McCartney.

[Restoras]

Or probably even just Ringo Starr

[TwB]

While Ringo Starr hasn't had the notoriety of Paul McCartney, he has really had a blessed life. Plus, he married Barbara Bach, so even better for him.

[dantheserene]

Whatever you think of the man or his talents, Ringo Starr has won at life bigger than anyone else I can think of.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

+1 Let it be.

Or was it 'Letter B'?

I forget.

[Mickey Rat]

So outside of writing and playing music , he was kind of an idiot.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Sorta like the protagonist in 'Catcher in the Rye'.

Ironic?

[AlmightyJB]

You mean the most overrated book of all time.

[AlmightyJB]

Back in High School I read some book about Morrison. Talk about a class A asshole.

[PM]

The chicken that lived for 18 months without a head

Seventy years ago, a farmer beheaded a chicken in Colorado, and it refused to die. Mike, as the bird became known, survived for 18 months and became famous. But how did he live without a head for so long, asks Chris Stokel-Walker.

[invisible furry hand]

How he got the gig at Salon writing about libertarianism is, however, less of a mystery

[Citizen X]

A headless chicken is WAY overqualified to write for Salon.

[TwB]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u40mJ_ls5VE

"Bailout!"

[Fist of Etiquette]

Democrats in the Senate appear to have enough support to prevent any effort by Republicans to derail the Iran nuclear deal from being successful.

I'm pretty sure it's safe to say the deal isn't going to be successful no matter its passage status.

[Jerryskids]

He's saying the Republicans have failed in their efforts to make the deal a failure so far, but it sets up the argument that any future failure can fairly be assumed to be the GOP's fault.

[Cream of Tulpa]

I'm sure that's what he's thinking, but it's not what he's saying. There's a word for that, that rhymes with buyer.

[Crusty Juggler]

Supplier?

[Lord Humungus]

Study: All-male Marine units outperform squads with women

All-male ground combat units in the Marines were faster, more lethal and less injured than units with mixed genders, according to a Marine Corps study that looked at integrating women into all service jobs.

"All male squads, teams and crews demonstrated higher performance levels on 69 percent of tasks evaluated (93 of 134) as compared to gender-integrated squads, teams and crews," according a summary of the report released Thursday.

The military faces a January deadline from the Pentagon to open all combat jobs to women, but the services can ask for exceptions to the order. None so far has indicated it plans to do so.

what about the all-gay unit?

[sarcasmic]

They win the prize for best-dressed unit.

[Illocust]

I know it's been said a dozen times before, but it bears repeating. Just make women meet the same requirements as the men and this won't be an issue. If G.I. Jane can actually meet the physical requirements of her male peers without extra help, she's going to get treated like the rest of her peers, and more importantly she will be a contributing member not a drag on resources.

[Monty Crisco]

I'm sorry, but it is not physically possible for a woman to "actually meet the physical requirements of her male peers" in this realm. Any more than a man can meet the requirements for childbirth. I did not make these rules. Evolution did.

[Restoras]

There probably are some women that can but they are not necessarily the women that join and want combat roles. But yes, you are correct.

[CatoTheChipper]

The women would can make the cut for the Marines can also make the cut for more lucrative pursuits like the WNBA, mixed martial arts, etc.

[Crusty Juggler]

Of course it is physically possible, however there will not be enough women who will be able to uphold the physical standards to make an impact.

[Monty Crisco]

No, it is not. Muscular structure, bone density, muscle density, testosterone levels, endurance levels, muscle STRENGTH - women have NONE of these things comparable to men. They do not. IT is a fact. These are things that are required for combat/ field activities.
Again, I did not make these rules. But I also am not set on having a child, so it really doesn't bother me. I am okay with my assigned role.

[Heroic Mulatto]

I get what you're saying, but there are always outliers. For example, we all know men who, by the fault of their genetics, are built like 12-year-old ballerinas and will always be that way despite how many weights they lift. Similarly, I imagine there are some women out there who are absolute beasts. Granted, most of them are in the Russian military, but still....

[Free Society]

Gaddafi valued his elite female solider's feminine touch.

[Restoras]

I'm with HM on this. I, as a 160# 5'9" rail thin male would probably have a hard time with the physical rigors. I would probably be an outlier male that would drag down the overall fitness of a unit.

While these women are in the vast minority I am pretty sure they can kick my ass, though that isn't saying much, but I do wonder how they would stack up against average males.
http://games.crossfit.com/athlete/18588
http://games.crossfit.com/athlete/55121

[Tejicano]

But in this case we are not talking about "average males". We are talking about elite units which have already screened out the lesser fit, less aggressive males.

[Restoras]

But in this case we are not talking about "average males". We are talking about elite units which have already screened out the lesser fit, less aggressive males.

You are right, of course. Even those women I linked to are probably 30-50 lbs lighter than their male counterparts and that is a serious disadvantage.

[Heroic Mulatto]

To be honest, that was all just a set up for a 'female Soviet powerlifter' joke.

[Illocust]

You're falling into the 'All' trap. Most women don't, the great majority of women don't, that is not the same as all women don't. Most women are shorter than men, the great majority of women are shorter than men, my grandmother was 5'11".

There are women out there that can hack it. They are as rare as hen teeth, but they do exist. If they can meet the requirements without special exemptions or help they should be allowed to.

I just want gender neutral requirements. I am perfectly okay if it is ten years or even never before a woman actually meets the requirements for a combat role.

[Monty Crisco]

Okay, not all. 99.9999999%. Technically, a number above zero, but so small as to be indistinguishable from zero.
And I agree- just don't alter the requirements.

[Tejicano]

Is it really a justifiable use of taxes to build and maintain the separate toilet, bathing, and housing facilities for that 1 or possibly 2 females per battalion that might make the grade to keep up with the men? Because I seriously doubt there will ever be more than that.

[Tonio]

And will they get a seperate latrine in an actual combat zone?

[Illocust]

Considering the amount of waste in the military budget and that the facilities can be spun as P.R., I'd say yes in this case.

[Illocust]

The majority of women can't. Occasionally, though, you'll get a woman who hit the genetic jackpot who can and she should be allowed to join. All I want is the genitalia not to be a consideration. I don't care if any women are actually tough enough to make it.

[Irish ?s ESB]

There are some women who could meet the standards, they'd just be at the very bottom of the class.

[Mickey Rat]

From what I have understood with this kind of social experiment in the past, the males will be more protective of female squadmates than males, which is the root of some of the performance issues.

[tarran]

It's more than a question of being held to the same standards;

Let's say your standard is every member of the squad can carry a 150 lb pack 10 miles at 3 mph. Your squad will have a bunch of people some of who barely clear the standard, and some who exceed it handily.

Now, if you salt your squad with women, the overall fitness level will decline, despite every woman clearing the bar, simply because the distribution of female performance will not be as high as the male performance.

Since each female soldier added to a heretofore all male unit displaces a male, your squad's overall fitness must decline.

In combat, victory happens often at the margins; the guys who can move a little faster, the guys who can carry more weight, the guys who can scale an obstacle more quickly survive longer in combat. And, if two units of initially equal size are fighting each other, the effects of this slight advantage make a great difference in who wins the fight. IF one side is losing 7 people for the other side's 5, all else being equal, by the time the weaker side has suffered 50% casualties, the stronger side will enjoy a 22% strength advantage.

This doesn't take into account the fact that less fit people run out of gas earlier than stronger people; meaning that as the battle progresses the physically fitter people will start to dominate as their less fit opponents become exhausted.

[Restoras]

Dang - here endeth the lesson! Where can mere mortals learn about stuff like this?

[Monty Crisco]

These are all excellent points as well, tarran.

[Tejicano]

I was in the Marine infantry from the age of 17. It took 6 months for me to get used to the exertion of a Marine Corps forced march - it's something that is difficult to even describe. The amount of gear - the weight - that you have to carry and the pace you have to maintain.

[Crusty Juggler]

The amount of gear - the weight - that you have to carry and the pace you have to maintain.

I assume the bodies of the very fit women who could make the standards will break down far more quickly then the bodies of men just because of the stress on their hips and shoulders, etc.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

^^This right here.

Things that a median male body can do can also be done by olympic class females. But those females are putting a significantly greater strain on their bodies to do those things.

A loader on an M1 tank has to be able to repetitively sling and load 65lb shells in a cramped space during firing, load those shells into the ammo box during resupply, and other conduct signicant strength requiring events like breaking track or swapping out air filters that women in the 95th %ile range can't do.

[Tejicano]

Let me give an example of a sort -

Since leaving the Marines in 1980 I have continued to maintain my fitness by trying to always run keeping up a similar level of exertion as I remember feeling during a forced march. 35 years later and in the last physical fitness test in my current US Army reserve unit only three people outran me and they were all less than half my age.

[The Shrubber's Woodchipper]

If Serena Williams is actually a woman, I think you could make a fine female fighting force out of her clone army.

[Lord Humungus]

delivering death by thigh asphyxiation

[Monty Crisco]

Yes. Serena Williams is the perfect example. MAYBE she could pass the requirements of Ranger School. But she wouldn't be anything special. And she is probably the greatest female athlete of all time.

[Monty Crisco]

Imagine the unit cohesion!!!

[spqr2008]

Just make it the Gorgidas Brigade (Sacred Band of Thebes). Each man in the unit will be married to someone in the unit, and therefore will fight all the harder.

[Jerryskids]

All male squads, teams and crews demonstrated higher performance levels on 69 percent of tasks evaluated

You know that's not how that works, right? The way the equality crowd sees it, it's not fair to pick the very best if the barely-adequate will do. You can't pick the top performers if the top performers are all white males, you have to use a sort of pass/fail grading system where everybody who passes is considered the equal of everybody else who passed. And you have to set the pass/fail line low enough to make sure you have an adequate number of non-white-males passing. Historically, a 10% casualty rate in a given combat group has been the pass/fail line so if a mixed group can achieve the goal with a 9% casualty rate it just doesn't matter that an all-male group could have done it with a 1% casualty rate. Both groups are successful so shut up about one being 'better' than another. ('Better' is just an outdated whitemale concept that celebrates competitiveness and other ugly hateful characteristics of the patriarchy anyway. And if we had more women in the military there would be no need for a military because women are peace-loving life affirmers.)

[Dakotian]

Also Marine Grunt units do not generally promote average performers. If you want to be a team/squad leader you have be a high performer. How will it look when the small percentage of women in Infantry units do not get promoted with their male peers?

[Antilles]

Something happens when you insert a woman into a group of young men. It's a major distraction and the guys start puffing their chests and strutting around in competition while trying to impress them. I saw this many times in the Air Force, and I'm sure it's true for other military branches as well.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Something happens when you insert a woman into a group of young men

It's called bukkake.

[Antilles]

"It's called bukkake"

You jest, but given enough time that's exactly what happens...

[Heroic Mulatto]

I am a man of the world.

[Galactic Chipper Cdr Lytton]

^THIS

(not HM's comment)

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

The South Park episode where Bebe starts to develop breasts and boys all turn into shit flinging monkeys is the 100% perfect and true answer.

[PM]

Mom Planned Daughter's Birthday Blowout With 12 Bags Of Cocaine

When Nicola Austen's daughter turned 18 in February, the 37-year-old decided they should celebrate in high style.

So, Austen (pictured above) purchased 12 bags of cocaine weighing a total of 8.65 grams, according to prosecutors at Maidstone Crown Court in England.

Austen was sentenced earlier this week to a nine-month suspended sentence and 250 hours of unpaid work, South West News Service reports.

Prosecutor Craig Evans said Austen and her daughter planned to celebrate the girl's 18th birthday in London.

"They were going to London in a limousine and she wanted to make sure they had a good time," Evans told the court.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

What better way to turn 18 than going out like Len Bias?

[TwB]

I wonder if the mom in the article is actually Mick Fleetwood's daughter...

[Crusty Juggler]

I'd like to peel those skinny jeans off that mom, I can tell you that much.

[Restoras]

You bastard.

[Lee G]

I should have known better than to check on Crusty's object of affection.

[Citizen X]

You'll have to fight John for her.

[Raven Nation]

That seems a pretty lenient sentence. Any idea what you would get for pulling that stunt in the US?

[Free Society]

Austen was sentenced earlier this week to a nine-month suspended sentence and 250 hours of unpaid work, South West News Service reports.

Holy fuck. In the US they'd remove you from your family and society for a decade.

[Monty Crisco]

I defy ANYONE to find a more prudish, scolding, morally-preening bit of SJW ethos on the web. The subject ? The EVILS of football! (Seriously, that's in the HEADLINE of the article). Especially FANTASY FOOTBALL!!! The "gateway drug to NFL addiction."

http://www.digitaltrends.com/m.....nfl-again/

"By attacking the science itself, the League isn't just affecting the lives of its own players ? it's affecting the lives of anyone who plays football at any level, even kids who don't play past middle school."

"As the sport has grown more popular, NFL owners ? with the league's backing and support ? leveraged that popularity to hold communities hostage for new stadiums they don't need?"
HOLDING THEM HOSTAGE!!! JUST LIKE THE OLYMPICS DO!!!
Those communities can say "no".
And my personal favorite:

"Then there's NFL's atrocious record with gender issues, homophobia, cheating, and mascot offensiveness. If this wasn't a tech-centric column, I could write another thousand words just on those issues alone. Each."

I defy you to find a derpier article. With the exception of the op-ed that crazy robot bitch from North Carolina wrote yesterday?

[Timon 19]

The NFL sucks.

This author also appears to suck, for completely different reasons.

I have no problem finding both very, very derptastic.

[Lord Humungus]

Alabama House Committee Passes Massive Porn Tax

Rather than fix a $200 million overspending problem before October 1, the Alabama House Ways and Means Committee has passed a 40 percent "porn tax" on the gross receipts from the sale, rental, or admission charges of pornographic material. This includes pornographic magazines, adult videos, and online adult rentals.

Alabama lawmakers have struggled to pass a budget this year, now into their second special legislative session. Negotiations began in February with a proposal from Gov. Robery Bentley to raise taxes by more than $500 million. Despite having campaigned on his personal written commitment to oppose tax hikes, the governor has rejected budget restraint and reforms that did not include tax increases. The governor has attacked conservative lawmakers, threatened to withhold state funding for local projects, and neglected the will of taxpayers who elected him as a result of his promise to oppose tax hikes since the beginning of session.

[Citizen X]

So the Alabama House has never heard of the Internet, huh?

[PM]

I was gonna say, are there even any brick and mortar porn shops around anymore? It says the tax applies to "online adult rentals", but I imagine like most state and local taxes that enforcement on anyone outside the state is nearly impossible.

[Citizen X]

40% of $0 = ?

[PM]

There's that too, but even if, let's say, Joe Alabaman actually pays for a subscription to chickswithdicksinhighdefinition.com, assuming chickswithdicksinhighdefinition.com isn't located in Alabama, it's unlikely they're going to comply with taxing Joe Alabaman's subscription.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

All the porn shops I've ever seen were metal-sided shacks off highways, seemingly catering to truckers who can apparently masturbate while driving. Never seen a brick and mortar one.

[Jerryskids]

A 'massive' porn tax? I'm glad somebody is keeping us abreast of this issue. These pricks need to get a grip and quit screwing us over with this dickish behavior. It gives me a throbbing headache to think of them moaning over how hard it is to erect a tax structure bent only on pulling out as much as they can from the system. If only a few spunky legislators would stand firm on the idea that the thrust of government action should be to lubricate the machinery of commerce rather than to whip it into submission, plug it up completely, zip it up tightly. With a few strokes of a pen, they could release the free market in a veritable explosion of creative new ways to satisfy the urges consumers feel for bigger and better and more products - but they lack the flexibility to imagine such a world without them as a dominant force handcuffing the consumers into a strict regimen of only satisfying a single desire. Shameful, really, that they aren't just given a spanking and ordered to go spew that nonsense somewhere else.

[Jimbo]

I came

[Antilles]

Once again, Alabama reminds me why they are my least-favorite state in the nation.

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

How is this any different than NY taxing cigarettes so high that they have to kill people for illegally selling them?

Alabama may be shitty, but most of New England and the west coast are at least as shitty when it comes to ass-fucking the tax payer.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

But Alabama claims to be a conservative, business-friendly, small government state. At least New York is honest about robbing people.

[Lord Humungus]

Giant palm-sized moths invading Britain are attracted to tobacco and alcohol

Wildlife enthusiasts are hoping to catch the massive insect using ornamental tobacco plants and wine-soaked ropes.

The convulvulus hawk-moth, which has a 12cm (5 inch) wingspan, migrates from southern Europe and a few hundred are spotted each year in the UK, mainly in the late summer and early autumn.

Moth-lovers are hoping to lure the palm-sized moth to their gardens with the nectar of tobacco plants, which the moth likes to feed on.

[Trump's Grenzmauer]

Wait if they're attracted to alcohol and tobacco why haven't they completely colonized Russia?

[Lord Humungus]

Pulling Out Is as Effective as Using Condoms

Media coverage of the CDC study, which otherwise praised a burgeoning commitment to contraception among young people, gave an obligatory finger wag to withdrawal, "one of the least effective ways to prevent pregnancy." What most media coverage doesn't reveal is that research puts pulling out on par with one of medical professionals' favorite forms of contraception: the condom.

"Withdrawal...is about as effective as condoms at preventing pregnancy" begins a 2014 study published by Contraception, an international journal on reproduction. When practiced perfectly?in other words, when the male partner pulls out before ejaculation during every incidence of vaginal intercourse?only 4 percent of couples who use the pullout method will get pregnant within a year. Imperfect, or typical, use bumps that to 18 percent. (Male condoms failure rates are 2 percent for perfect use and 17 percent for typical.) This is a minor discrepancy, yet pulling out has a reputation for being dangerously cavalier, while condoms are the gold standard of sexual responsibility. Several of the medical professionals I reached out to for this piece were sympathetic to withdrawal use but afraid to say so publicly.

[Florida Man]

I knew it!

[PM]

Pulling out isn't gonna keep red bumps off your ding dong though.

[Free Society]

Knowing a skank when you see one almost certainly will.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You can't bury the money shot!

[Just a thought not a sermon]

I prefer a deposit to early withdrawal.

[Restoras]

Swiss!!! Swiss!!! My Kingdom for a Narrow Gaze!!!

[Swiss Servator]

*strongly narrows gaze*

[Just a thought not a sermon]

"When practiced perfectly"

How did they even find enough samples of this happening for their study?

[Jerryskids]

How did they find enough samples? Easy, you just have to get a bunch of True Scotsmen. The ones whose wives got pregnant obviously weren't practicing perfectly.

[Citizen X]

Obligatory

[Lee G]

The Pope approves

[PM]

U wot m8?

[Idle Hands]

Planned Parent-hoods take.

[Tonio]

Well, given that most of the "failures" with condom use are operator error...

[Bobarian (Would Chip Her)]

Wouldn't that be true for the pull-out method as well?

[Lord Humungus]

Starting work before 10 a.m. is tantamount to torture and is making staff sick and stressed: researcher

Forcing staff to start work before 10 a.m. is tantamount to torture and is making employees ill, exhausted and stressed, an Oxford University researcher has claimed.

Before the age of 55, the circadian rhythms of adults are completely out of sync with normal nine-to-five working hours, posing a "serious threat" to performance, mood and mental health.

Dr. Paul Kelley, of Oxford University, said there was a need for a huge societal change to move work and school starting times to fit with the natural body clock of humans.

I prefer to work 11-2 with an one and a half hour lunch break.

[Citizen X]

What about those of us who get in to the office at 8:30 and then just dick around on the Internet for 8 straight hours?

[Free Society]

I wouldn't know anything about that...

[PM]

We get up at twelve and start to work at one...

[gaijin]

Forcing staff to start work before 10 a.m.

Is that 10 am during daylight savings time or standard time?

[Illocust]

Except working late into the afternoon is mentally exhausting. My work lets us choose to come in between 7 and 9. I moved up to 7 despite being a night owl because getting out so late in the day made it seem like my days were shorter.

[Timon 19]

This.

[Raven Nation]

So, all those peasants in the Middle Ages were completely wrong? Even though they were actually following "natural" time?

[PM]

Those peasants in the middle ages were doing work that was largely dictated by the location of the sun in the sky and had no real choice in the matter, so it's not a great comparison. They might have had less stress and better productivity going to work at noon, but dirt farming at 9 PM doesn't work very well.

[Jerryskids]

Says a researcher "working" for a university. Who apparently doesn't know that other research seems to indicate that the 'natural' body clock doesn't fit with celestial time.

[Episteme]

Researcher with tenure massages numbers in order to "prove" that he needs an extra hour or two of sleep in the morning ?SCIENCE!!!

[Lord Humungus]

Norwegian flight attendant announces to passengers he caught a couple having sex in bathroom

"He said something like 'we'd like to send our best wishes of happy reproduction to the couple that ventured into the toilet earlier on,'" a Swedish passenger told the media outlet.

The traveler then said some passengers began cheering and others started gossiping in hopes of identifying the culprits.

It must have been a fun way to beat the usual boredom of going through customs.

The identity of the two culprits were kept a secret and they have the airline employee to thank.

[Just a thought not a sermon]

This is all as it should be. Nice to get a happy news story for once.

[Lord Humungus]

Iranian troops join Russians in Syria fighting

Qasem Soleimani, commander of Iran's elite Quds Force, has sent hundreds of ground soldiers into Syria in the past few days apparently in cooperation with Russia's President Vladimir Putin, said a senior Israeli security official Thursday.

Russia has also recently deployed military assets into Syria and according to the Israeli source, has teamed up with Iran in an unprecedented attempt to protect the embattled regime of Bashar Assad from falling to rebel groups including the Islamic State.

The Israeli source said that Iran's increased military involvement in Syria was "due to Assad's crisis and under Russian-Iranian cooperation as a result of a meeting between Soleimani with Russian President Vladimir Putin," said the Israeli source.

[Private Chipperbot]

Is the Quds force actually elite? I always read that, but have never found anything to back it up.

[Restoras]

I've no idea but I bet they get extra points for loyalty in place of actual eliteness.

[R C Dean]

Elite is a relative term.

They saw us off in Iraq, and then gulled us into flying air support for them. That seems pretty elite to me, honestly.

[Lord Humungus]

Did U.S. military labs mishandle bubonic plague, viruses?

The latest investigation started after CDC inspectors found a sample of the plague in a freezer outside of a containment area on August 17 at the Edgewood Chemical Biological Center in Maryland, Cook said.

Investigators are working to determine whether the sample posed an "infectious threat," Cook said. Army tests found it was not infectious.

"That's the scientific work that's being done at this particular time, determining exactly what happened there, and whether or not ... there was mislabeling," he said.

[Jerryskids]

Is this a repeat from last year when the CDC uncovered confessed to several different episodes of "oopsies"?

[Episteme]

The Walking Dude could not be reached for comment in Las Vegas...

[Lord Humungus]

Why it's not OK for Apple to Photoshop a woman to make her smile during a live event

The first woman to appear on the Apple stage today was not in the flesh.

Instead she was a photo, that was then photoshopped by Adobe's director of design until her red lips were turned into a smile.

As the audience applauded, Twitter erupted as many onlookers questioned Apple's decision to include that demo in the presentation.

There are plenty of arguments about why people should stop telling women to smile. Some women consider it a form of harassment ? a phrase that they hear barked to them aggressively as they walk down the street.

[lap83]

Asking Adobe's director of design not to use Photoshop is like, well, asking a bitter feminist not to frown

[invisible furry hand]

"And frankly I'm very concerned that Gymea Tech would be outsourcing my child's sex education to a deeply conservative church group"

Well don't outsource your child's sex education to a public school in the first place

more

[Lord Humungus]

Rick Perry's Chances Are Better Than Trump's

But I believe the former Texas governor has a better chance of winning the nomination than Trump does. Let me explain.

I still think the Republican nominee will be one of the nine candidates who have conventional qualifications for the job and whose positions on the issues are within the party's mainstream. There's the first tier (in no particular order) of Marco Rubio, Scott Walker and Jeb Bush; a second tier of John Kasich and Mike Huckabee, and a long-shot third group consisting of Bobby Jindal, Rick Santorum, Chris Christie and Perry. This leaves the other candidates -- Trump, Ben Carson, Carly Fiorina, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul and the rest -- with smaller chances.

How could Perry win? Any candidate can have a public-opinion surge. Trump, Carson and, on the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders will confirm that. Perry may well not get one before he feels he has to face (seeming) reality and drop out. But until then, youneverknow, as the late Joaquin Andujar said.

[SugarFree]

"Why did you say those mean things about Carly, Donald?" his hair asked in a whisper. They were right outside and Donald's hair was afraid to it would be overheard.

"I didn't say anything about her looks, I was just talking about her looks. You of all my friends should know this!" Donald replied in his own urgent whisper.

"Lay off him, hair," Donald's hat said. "He's doing the best he can." Donald's hat was on a chair next to the chamber. It had plans for America and no stupid hair was going to stand in its way.

"Fuck off, hat."

"No, you fuck off!" the hat screamed. It was yelling, raging, shivering. It hated the hair so much.

"I never said nothing bad about Carly. I love Carly. I love the mutilated ruin of her diseased tits!" Donald screamed at them both. Tears were streaming down his face.

"Calm down, Donald. They'll hear you," his hair hissed.

[SugarFree]

"I don't care," Donald sobbed. "Milena doesn't love me anymore. Dumb bleeding cunt. Why doesn't she love me?"

"She's 44, Donald," the hat said. "It's time to dump her and get a new model."

"Don't listen to him, Donald," the hair said. "She still has a few more years left in her."

"You're sticking it in something born in the 1970s, Donald," the hat said. "Don't you want some young tail? At least some 80s quim, juicy and tender?"

Donald smiled. "Ivanka was born in the 80s?"

Donald's hair and his hair both sighed heavily.

"You want to take it this time?" the hat asked.

"I fucking hate you so much," the hair replied.

"Donald," the hair began. "We've talked about this before?"

The hat and the hair both fell silent when the doors to the chamber opened. A technician peered through the fogged glass of the revival chamber.

"Se?or Trump?" he asked. "Do you need something? I heard you talking, but the microphones could not pick it up."

"Go away," Donald said, and he began to gently touch himself.

[Citizen X]

Well, that's something.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Donald's hair and his hair both sighed heavily.

This mistake took me out of my suspension of reality. Thanks for nothing.

[Crusty Juggler]

He also spelled "Melania" incorrectly. SMH

[SugarFree]

You know, I try to get this stuff to you fresh. Mistake will be made. Ungrateful curs.

[Citizen X]

Mistake will be made

...

[Crusty Juggler]

This is like finding out Santa Claus isn't real.

[SugarFree]

He is real, if you believe.

[Jimbo]

he meant to make that missteak

[SugarFree]

Dammit.

[Lord Humungus]

Bravo

[gaijin]

the mutilated ruin of her diseased tits!"

poetry

[Lord Humungus]

Uh isn't she a Democrat? Anyways...

Kim Davis is the new face of the religious right: Angry, marginalized and increasingly desperate
As their numbers dwindle and their cultural influence wanes, Evangelicals are seizing power any way they can

The saga of Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk who went to jail for a weekend rather than sign off on same-sex marriage certificates, might seem like it's a last gasp for the anti-gay right; an attempt to eke out some kind of victory after having lost their two-decade fight against same-sex marriage. Unable to stop same-sex couples from marrying, Davis, along with a handful of anti-gay florists and bakers, strives instead to just make getting the license an embarrassing hassle. It's childish sore loser behavior, the equivalent of a baseball player pouting in the dugout and refusing to shake hands with his opponent because he didn't win the game.

Because of this, liberals can be forgiven for laughing and moving on, not particularly worried about Davis, whose temper tantrum isn't even preventing the licenses from being issued any longer, as the judge authorized her deputies to hand them out. Unfortunately, though, Davis's behavior isn't just a bratty tantrum. /blockquote

[Private Chipperbot]

Huh. That is the first time I've heard that. I wonder why?

[Tonio]

Her party affiliation we fairly well publicized. At least in the news sources I follow.

[Idle Hands]

lol. They couldn't have picked someone hotter?

[Notorious UGCC]

"They"?

[Notorious UGCC]

Why, if it isn't Amanda Marcotte in Salon!

"Her legal team wants you to see her as a sweet but faithful woman, but in fact she's trying to pull a coup here, claiming that "God's authority" ? read Kim Davis's authority ? trumps our entire *democratic* system." [emphasis added]

OK, look - if you think the Supreme Court decision was a victory for human rights and decency, fine. If you want to claim that the Justices were defending a beleaguered minority against a bigoted majority who wants to put gays in camps, fine.

But don't go around claiming the Supreme Court decision was "democratic." The democratic side is represented by the 75% of Kentucky voters who put the man/woman definition of marriage in the state constitution and required government officials - like Davis - to follow that definition and no other.

If you think the democratic decision of the voters of Kentucky was wrong, say so. If you think that oppressive majorities were oppressing gays and the US Supreme Court had to step in to defend them, say so. But don't pretend the Supreme Court was defending democracy.

Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

[Lord Humungus]

Paul Krugman: Austerity in the name of "respectability is killing the world economy"

The problem in Japan, he argued, is deflation, the solution to which is simply to print more money. The Japanese central bank has been doing so, but because of low interest rates, "there's no real penalty for sitting on cash," so that's what individuals and institutions are doing.

What they need to be doing to is "us[ing] it to buy stuff," investing in "slightly risky assets in the hope of?pushing up asset prices and persuading both investors and consumers that inflation is coming, and so they'd better put idle cash to work." Instead, politicians are imposing austerity measures that hamstring the efforts of central banks to fight inflation. Why?

Does Krugnuts just write the same column over and over?

[Restoras]

This is just unbelievably stupid. That anyone takes this guy seriously is beyond the pale.

[Heroic Mulatto]

FBI says 'Australian IS jihadist' is actually a Jewish American troll named Joshua Ryne Goldberg

So Jews really did 9/11(/15)?

[Irish ?s ESB]

That Dutch parliamentarian who said ISIS was a Zionist plot to insult Muslims was right!

[invisible furry hand]

The Australi Witness persona fooled members of the international intelligence community as well as journalists

FFS, any Australian would spot it's bullshit (he made basic mistakes like saying he's using 2 lbs of explosive, when we use metric). You believe what you want to believe

[Irish ?s ESB]

Michael Moore is the biggest troll in the universe so I refuse to link him, but on the anniversary of 9/11 he decided to publish an article at Salon about how much better Europe is than America at everything.

I'm honestly wondering, what would it take for progs to finally see that Europe really isn't great? Do the countries in southern Europe have to run 40% unemployment rates instead of 15-20%? Maybe France needs more frequent terrorist attacks. A few more hardline fascist parties along the lines of Jobbik and Golden Dawn might do the trick, but I'm not so sure.

[Idle Hands]

Well I was listening to NPR today talking about the jobs the Syrian refugees would take across Europe and it seemed to me that it was impossible to get a job, unless your willing to take 3 years to train to become a hair dresser. Whether this situation reminded the panel of the parallels of the New York times piece on the enslaved Asian nail industry workers I can't say.

[Tonio]

And unless they know the language they'll limit themselves to menial jobs like ditch digger. And since even many of the shitty jobs are unionized, good luck with that.

This is a good opportunity to call attention to the excellent quote made by Drake last night in reference to the Syrian refugees in Germany.

Drake|9.10.15 @ 5:28PM|#

Caliphate or cattle cars.

[Heroic Mulatto]

And unless they know the language they'll limit themselves to menial jobs like ditch digger.

Not necessarily, Syrian/Lebanese food is fucking delicious.

[Timon 19]

Yes, yes it is.

[gaijin]

what would it take for progs to finally see that Europe really isn't great?

They would have to grow out of their adolescent stage...where mom and dad and everything about their hometown sucks...and they move to california to be someone better than the yokels they grew up with...and end up as prostitutes on the strip doing bjs for $20 to pay for their crack addiction...just like the kids they went to high school with back in Yokel Town USA

[sarcasmic]

They have free health care and free college! It's utopia!

[Monty Crisco]

Odd that, despite his disdain for America and his love of Europe, Micheal Moore never actually MOVES there....

hmmmmm... wonder why?

[SugarFree]

Europe hates fatties.

[sarcasmic]

Why should he move to Europe and pay those ridiculously high taxes while other rich people in America aren't forced to pay those ridiculously high taxes? That isn't fair. Remember that the left doesn't like to practice what they preach unless they get to point a gun at the back of everyone else and force them to go along. Otherwise it isn't fair.

[Suthenboy]

I don't think your definition of 'better' is the same as theirs.

If they didn't have Europe to point to they would be pointing to Venezuela. Socialism is always better regardless of outcome because socialism.

They are herd animals. Foraging on their own is inconceivable.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Venezuelan opposition leader gets 14 years

Venezuelan opposition leader Leopoldo Lopez has been sentenced to 14 years in prison for inciting violence during last year's sometimes bloody protests, with a judge handing down the maximum sentence in the high-profile trial despite U.S. calls for Lopez's release.

About 200 supporters of the country's most prominent jailed opposition leader gathered in a Caracas plaza expressed disbelief and sadness late Thursday when they learned of the verdict. Several wept and consoled each other with hugs.

Reflecting the passions stirred by the trial on both sides of Venezuela's deep political divide, an elderly man died and several people were injured earlier in the day during clashes outside the courthouse between government loyalists and Lopez supporters.

The opposition leader has repeatedly denied the charges and says he only urged peaceful demonstration against President Nicolas Maduro. Venezuela's socialist government, however, blames him for the violence that left more than 40 people dead during the protests.

Supporters of the 44-year-old, Harvard-educated former mayor of a wealthy Caracas district say the trial was marred by irregularities. The court rejected all but two defense witnesses, both of whom ultimately declined to testify, while letting the prosecution call more than 100.

[SugarFree]

Trust democracy, right, joe?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Man who had penis ripped off as a child now has 8 inch bionic replacement thanks to pioneering surgery

We have the technology to ensure that his penis makes this sound every time he gets an erection.

[Crusty Juggler]

Men of a certain age (older than me) look back very fondly at that show.

[Restoras]

I preferred Lyndsay Wagner.

[invisible furry hand]

But he can switch it to something more sensible, like this

[Lee G]

*snort, guffaw*

[Pope Jimbo]

He was a security guard. Any bets on whether he gets fired or quits because he is no longer some dickless loser?

[PM]

Washington State Supreme Court rules charter schools unconstitutional

After nearly a year of deliberation, the state Supreme Court ruled 6-3 late Friday afternoon that charter schools are unconstitutional, creating chaos for hundreds of families whose children have already started classes.

The ruling ? believed to be one of the first of its kind in the country ? overturns the law voters narrowly approved in 2012 allowing publicly funded, but privately operated, schools.

The latest: 2 charters say they will stay open this year despite ruling

Eight new charter schools are opening in Washington this fall, in addition to one that opened in Seattle last year.

It was not immediately known what would happen with the schools that are already running. The parties have 20 days to ask the court for reconsideration before the ruling becomes final.

[Tonio]

They could always change the constitution. [pauses for laughter] Thanks, folks...all week...tip waitress.

[Grand Moff Serious Man]

Shigeru Miyamoto confirms Super Mario Bros 3 was a stage play, answers other questions

[Heroic Mulatto]

The people surprised by this are the people who lived 30 years of their lives not realizing Duck Hunt was a 2-player game.

[OldMexican]

What? I mean, yeah, I totally knew that...

[Heroic Mulatto]

"Game A" allows a second player to control the movement of the flying ducks by using a normal NES controller.

They told you this in the manual.

[Notorious UGCC]

[enter MARIO]

This is the winter of our discontent
As Bowser takes the Princess from our midst
But if you wrong me, shall I not revenge?
I stomp on mushrooms, turn them into goop
I stomp on turtles, making turtle soup.

[Enter LUIGI]

See where Luigi comes, my noble brother.

LUIGI: I follow where you go, your cause is mine
I'll follow you through land and sea to find
The Princess, and release her from her prison
So that Mario can have her for his own
I'm used to playing second fiddle, I reckon
But when we save the Princess, could I at least have sloppy seconds?

[Crusty Juggler]

10 Things We Can (Begrudgingly) Thank Hipsters for Popularizing

Trigger warnings: The website is awful, a photograph of hipsters, and hipster praise.

[Lord Humungus]

Either you SF'd the link or you were making a craftier point about the Reason readership and/or writers.

[Crusty Juggler]

The link. Reason's readership are most certainly not hipsters (yalls are not cool enough), but their writers? I think we know the answer to that.

[Lord Humungus]

I would add vinyl / turntables. Last time I went to the local record store, there were lots of uh, girls there. Nothing wrong with that - I like a little hipster girl eye candy when I'm shopping - but when I was a teenager, these places were heavily male.

[Crusty Juggler]

I like the big eyeglasses look, so I am pro lady-hipster. They are not usually pro-Juggler though. I think it is because I currently look like what a cop is supposed to look like, which is not something I am proud of.

[Lord Humungus]

You need the hipster starter kit
http://www.bitrebels.com/wp-co.....sign-1.jpg

[lap83]

I like the big eyeglasses look

and "skinny" jeans

[Crusty Juggler]

Only if they have the hips to fill out the skinny jeans, of course.

[Rhywun]

Really at this point, isn't "hipster" just synonymous with "young, urban white person"?

[Cream of Tulpa]

Democrats in the Senate appear to have enough support to prevent any effort by Republicans to derail the Iran nuclear deal from being successful.

Deceptive phrasing even for Eddie Kray-Kray. They have enough votes to prevent the Senate from passing a disapproval bill. Whether the deal is successful will have nothing to do with a congressional vote.

[Hint: it won't be successful, and actually makes war more likely than before as it allows Iran to more quickly become a menace even a deluded narcissist like Obama couldn't ignore]

[Derpetologist]

Saudi Arabia is not taking any Syrian refugees, but they have offered to build 200 mosques in Germany.

Perhaps the Germans can thank them by offering to put up 200 Mohamed cartoon billboards in Saudi Arabia.

[Heroic Mulatto]

What's Arabic for chutzpah?

[Derpetologist]

I don't now, but I'm sure the Saudis are all doing the Muttley laugh right now:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hw3CE04LGiA

[Derpetologist]

*know

stupid silent letters...

[Heroic Mulatto]

In the "you can't make this up" department...the Arabic cognate actually has the meaning of "prudence" or "wisdom".

Explains so much.

[Derpetologist]

Neat- the p got changed to an f and the ch got hanged to a throaty h.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Which makes sense as even in modern Hebrew orthography the /p/ and /f/ phonemes have this wave-particle duality thing going on; whereas, by all rights the /ch/ should be a voiceless pharyngeal fricative, but after 2000 years of diaspora, the European Jews lost the pharyngeals.

[Citizen X]

That would require more balls than currently exist in Europe.

[Trump's Grenzmauer]

Agree to it in exchange for building 200 churches and see how that works. You have the advantage of not being accused of being an "Islamicphobe" then, and you can illustrate to anyone who might be watching how Saudi Arabia's offer is simply a tool of Islamic imperialism when they turn the offer down.

[Free Society]

But Islamic imperialism gets a pass because they're punching up.

[Free Society]

Huge VC Firm Finally Wears Down Ellen Pao in Legal Battle

After losing a widely-publicized gender discrimination lawsuit against her former employer Kleiner Perkins on all four counts this past March, it looks like former interim Reddit CEO Ellen Pao has finally reached her limit. In a statement to Re/code today, Pao has announced that she will not be seeking an appeal.

This decision comes in the wake of a particularly loud, particularly contentious portion of Reddit's success in driving Pao from the site with a vicious, virtual witch hunt.
[...]
"Women are only welcome in the VC world as long as they don't complain or act resentful."

That's the case for everyone in tech, though less so with entitled members of protected groups.

[Free Society]

linky: http://gawker.com/huge-vc-firm.....1729864002

[Monty Crisco]

Saw that shit. Goddamn, everything on my Android phone current events articles are SJW crap. Why is that?!? The verge, hitfix, gawker, deadspin, gizmodo (that is one of the worst, if you can believe it) - they ALL push the SJW agenda with EVERY article ALL the time.

Not a single conservative or middle of the road social media content service on the web?

[Free Society]

Not ones that get nearly as much push, reposts and republishing as SJW content.

[R C Dean]

"Women are only welcome in the VC world as long as they don't complain or act resentful."

Jeebus on a pogo stick. Do they not see how self-absorbed and entitled this sounds?

ProTip: that has been true throughout history, everywhere.

[Free Society]

for everyone so inclined to be a complaining and resentful dbag. It should be no surprise that her performance reviews feature the word "entitled" rather prominently.

[Crusty Juggler]

As a North-easterner, I can proudly state that this morning I was finally able to peel off my scrotum from my inner thigh. Goodbye, ridiculous humidity!

[Restoras]

Holy shit the last week was awful - one of the worst in recent memory.

[Free Society]

Man Made Scrotal Warming

[Free Society]

One of my better one liner retorts and no one remains in the AM links to bask in my glory

[Rhywun]

Hear hear! It's nice to finally not have to change my shirt when I get to work.

[SugarFree]

Hillary enlists help from her base:

Brooklyn Witches Are Doing Their Part to Defeat Donald Trump By Casting Hexes on Him

[Crusty Juggler]

While I am not a Trump fan I am consistently entertained by his juvenile insults, so I hope he responds to this.

[Lord Humungus]

A group of wizards will curse Hillary, turning her into a harpy.

success!

[Red Rocks Rockin]

"Hillary's fellow coven members appear to be trying to hex me. They're still mad that all my wives have been gorgeous while they remain ugly and loved only by their cats."

[invisible furry hand]

One claims to be feeling the Bern, so it seems like a joint effort. Rather hope the combover loss curse works

[lap83]

Is this the stupidest election season yet? It's sure amusing though.

[Tonio]

Hmmmm....many of the former original colonies still have anti-witchcraft laws on the books. Unenforceable because of the First, of course, but I'm seeing the potential for some epic lulz, and embarassing government.

[Restoras]

There is NEVER sufficient cowbell...

[Free Society]

I bet Blue Oyster Cult concerts are filled to the brim with cowbells

[Trump's Grenzmauer]

Ugh... Everytime I see a Hipster I think to myself "Thats it! We are definitely losing the next World War."

[Crusty Juggler]

My favorite pub has a sign that says something like "hipsters are not allowed" and every time I walk in it is 90% hipsters.

[Idle Hands]

you would go to a "pub".

[Citizen X]

Absolutely nobody hates hipsters more than hipsters do.

[Pope Jimbo]

What I found out - to my chagrin - is that after you have pulled the plastic off that cute asian gal, you cannot return it.

23 years later, I still sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had only thought a bit before tearing off that plastic bag...

[Free Society]

He's got middle-management written all over him.

[Crusty Juggler]

Ugh. I know.