A.M. Links: Bernie Leads Hillary in New Hampshire, Huckabee Plans to Visit Kim Davis in Jail, Trump Scares GOP


  • A review conducted by the Central Intelligence Agency and the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency has determined that Hillary Clinton did receive classified information on her personal email account.
  • Anti-gay marriage Kentucky clerk Kim Davis will receive a jailhouse visit today from GOP presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee.
  • "Republicans are growing increasingly concerned that Donald J. Trump's inflammatory language is damaging the party, fearing that his remarks are hardening the tone of other candidates on racial issues in ways that could repel the voters they need to take back the White House."

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  1. Bernie Sanders now leads Hillary Clinton by nine points in New Hampshire.

    A socialist, ladies and gentlemen.

    1. I know, I can’t decide whether it’s scary or laughable.

      1. I bet the show trials will be hilarious.

    2. Hello.

      Fricken LaboUr Day messed me up good.

        1. Did you not notice the AM/PM links instability yesterday?

          /crosses eyes angrily.

          1. Here in ‘murica we work on Labor Day, slackass.

          2. Rufus – I’m not on PM links, and I’m not going to be on the AM links when the office is closed. I had better things to do – like laundry.

    3. With the first primaries still five months out, excitement exists only among extremists. Only progtards and college students (among which there is significant overlap) will support Sanders. Most of America will not get behind a socialist. He has zero chance in a general election.

      1. Can your now replace “Sanders” with Trump, and Socialist with “Buffoon”?

        1. I’m going to say yes. You never know, but I predict that a year from now it will all seem like some weird dream.

          1. That’s my thinking as well. The summer of 2015 will go down as a funny little footnote in political history.

        2. No. Sanders’ socialism (and age) are a turn-off to all but the progs and yellow-dog Democrats. But Trump is a very-well-known person due to his long public exposure. His politics and economics may be only semi-coherent, but he’s clearly a patriot, which resonates. Heck, he’s polling at about 25% of the black vote, and 30% of the Hispanic vote. The GOP establishment and libertarians may hate him, but he has a heck of a better chance than Sanders (or Hillary).

      2. Way back in the mists of 2008, I was following the primaries heavily. I wondered why Fred Thompson didn’t advance further. . . it’s kind of like a fantasy football draft game at this point.

        1. Or Giuliani. He was going to be some big thing too, although that sort of lasted until the early primaries.

    4. With all our best interests at heart. Just read his literature from the seventies and eighties.

    5. at least you know what you are getting.

  2. 86) You know, I don’t think most drugs are that addictive, even the ones we commonly think of as being addictive. Most people I’ve known who were frequent drug users were looking for an addiction. I don’t think it matters whether it was alcohol, tobacco, crack, or meth, they seem to search for a drug they like and can be in a relationship with. Meanwhile, most people I’ve known who’ve used these drugs on a recreational basis, even fairly commonly, have been able to drop them easily when they need to grow up a little and get a job, have children, etc. I’m sure some drugs are more addictive than others, but in my opinion, you’d do much better to look at the person than the drug.

    1. I’m agreeing with you, as I know people who’s drug of choice is whatever is easiest to get – including food.

    2. There were a hell of a lot of soldiers returning from Vietnam that used heroin and opium yet were not heroin or opium addicts. The doubtful nature of the propaganda on just how addictive those addictive drugs are has been known for a long time.

      1. And how much more complicated addiction is than a lot of people think. If you are using heroin to escape from a shitty situation like being in a war, it’s probably going to be relatively easy to stop when you return to normal life and all of your habits have to change. Addiction isn’t some simple chemical reaction that happens with certain drugs, as some would have you believe.

    3. I think you are right. Some drugs can give you unpleasant withdrawal symptoms, but that isn’t the same as a psychological addiction. Lots of people take opioids, for example, therapeutically without becoming addicts, even if they suffer withdrawals when they stop.
      I’m fairly convinced at this point that some people are just prone to addiction and will probably become addicted to one thing or another (perhaps not drugs) in their lives. And other people can mess around with drugs and then quit fairly easily, as you say. I think the available numbers bear this out if you look at how many people ever use “hard drugs” versus how many become addicted to them.

  3. Anti-gay marriage Kentucky clerk Kim Davis will receive a jailhouse visit today from GOP presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee.

    Hasn’t she suffered enough for her faith?

    1. I assume you’re referring to her clothes?

      1. She’s landed three different husbands with those outfits. CAN YOU SAY THE SAME OF YOURS?

        1. Pretty sure her outfits were not the main attraction

          1. I see the Poms are living up to their reputation over the Stokes dismissal.

            1. Well, it was pretty rough. It hasn’t gotten 100% approval here either. But it’s no surprise – the reason we’re so successful at cricket is because we have a bit of mongrel in us.

              1. From the “tradition of the game” maybe, but looking at the replays, for Stokes to claim he didn’t deliberately try to stop the ball seems a little, um, odd.

            2. The Straya captain is named Steve Smith; Stokes should count himself lucky dismissal was all he suffered.

          2. If not for her outfits, then what else?

      2. Nikki, my wife and I looked at a photo of her yesterday and we both thought that if you dressed her in a 1900’s black bombazine outfit and gave her a hatchet, she’d do a good impression of Carry Nation.


    2. Jesus’ God is happy to let his people die in captivity.

    1. Loses points because it’s his own dog and his own pool.

      1. no fair! Someone *else* threw them in!? it still counts?

  4. Queen Elizabeth II is about to become the longest reigning monarch in British history.

    No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must apparently give a shit.

    1. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans we must apparently give a shit.

      Sure, like Americans don’t have our own version of the Nobility.

      1. Aint no billy T ’round here. There’s a billy joe and billy jack billy bob… (spits)… what, you one of them Yankee lawyer types, aint ya?

      2. It’s going on a hundred years that Americans have been hearing about and reading about and swooning over Joe Kennedy and his spawn.

    2. as Americans we must apparently give a shit.

      Speak for yourself.

  5. “Republicans are growing increasingly concerned that Donald J. Trump’s inflammatory language is damaging the party, fearing that his remarks are hardening the tone of other candidates on racial issues in ways that could repel the voters they need to take back the White House.”

    Yet he seems to be drawing voters like moths to a bug zapper.

    1. He’s polling much better among blacks than Romney or McCain ever did, and he is polling just as well as they did among Latinos.

      1. He’s polling much better among blacks than Romney or McCain ever did

        Seriously? I had not heard that, though I can see why the MSM would want to avoid mentioning an annoying detail like that.

      2. It’s because people are fed up with Political Correctness and SJW nonsense, and so they support a guy that basically tells those people to fuck off.

        Hate for SJW crosses all racial divisions it seems. Perhaps it’s the one thing that can unite us all.

        1. OK, but the other Republican candidates aren’t exactly hippies.

    2. Old school Republicans prefer to damage their party the old-fashioned way – by betraying their base at every opportunity.

    3. Didn’t I just read an article where the GOP has sworn an oath of alliegance to Trump, all of the candidates signing a piece of paper vowing to support Trump if he wins the nomination? It’s a little late now to be peeking in the poke to see what kind of pig you’ve purchased – you’ve already promised you’re going to be supporting raising taxes on the rich and defending Social Security against reform attempts, among other such long-standing conservative principles. Yeah, you’re the Stupid Party.

      And the Biden/Warren ticket is going to kick your ass. Hillary, having run against Obama, can claim to be the not-Obama candidate, Biden can only run as the ‘if you like your Obama, you can keep your Obama’ candidate, as a third-term Obama. The GOP, of course, being the Stupid Party, are chortling in glee and rubbing their hands in anticipation of having such a weak-ass candidate as one who must run on Obama’s record of failure. You know who else ran on Obama’s record of failure? Obama, you fucking morons. How’d that work out for you? Biden is not going to win despite the fact that he’s so closely tied to Obama, he’s going to win because he’s so closely tied to Obama.

      1. All those people who so passionately supported Obama in 2012 weren’t supporting him because he was so wonderful, they passionately supported him because if he lost they might have to face the thought that they supported a loser, that he’s not the messiah, that they got suckered by a con-man, that they were wrong, that their faith was misplaced, they really weren’t as smart as they thought they were electing Obama the first time around. In a contest between hard, cold reality and warm, fuzzy self-delusion the warm fuzzies win every time. Electing Biden as Obama 2.0 is going to be a psychological imperative with these people, and you ain’t gonna win them over with reason – they’re literally crazy.

        1. “Obama’s a moron and you were a moron for voting for him. You should vote for me instead.”

          “Obama is a very smart, very caring individual and smart, caring individuals naturally would support him. But Obama perhaps was too smart and cared too much to effectively help the poor and the disadvantaged as much as he could have. Now I’m not as smart as Obama, but I care just as deeply about the poor and disadvantaged, so here’s my ideas on how we can work together to further Obama’s legacy of helping the poor and disadvantaged.”

          Which one of these arguments is more likely to get an Obama voter to vote for you? Even if your proposals for helping the poor and disadvantaged are the exact opposite of everything Obama stood for, you can maybe at least get a fair hearing from those you’ve just patted on the back for how smart and caring they were and how smart and caring they proved themselves to be by voting for Obama. Now you want them to vote for you because you’re smart and caring, they’re smart and caring, all the smart and caring people are voting for you.

          But which of the above arguments is the GOP more likely going to go with?

          1. I think there are Democrats thinking that way, but not enough of them. All the Democrats now are running away from Obama and his legacy. Even Obamabots have been disappointed in him. Biden is the Dan Quayle of Democrats, if not worse, when it comes to gaffes. Plus there’s the plagiarism and groping, and Fauxcahontas has her own problems as a candidate. Biden/Warren may be the best hope for them, but I don’t think they are even close to a sure thing.

      2. Did they say they’d defend SS vs. all reform attempts?

  6. Snakebite antidote is running out

    The world is running out of one of the most effective snakebite treatments, putting tens of thousands of lives

    at risk, warn experts.

    Medicins Sans Frontieres says new stocks of Fav-Afrique, which neutralises 10 different snakebites that can occur in Sub-

    Saharan Africa, are desperately needed.

    The last batch will expire in June 2016 and there is no comparable replacement.

    Manufacturer Sanofi Pasteur says it has been priced out of the market.

    Alternatives are available but MSF says they are not as good.

    1. “Priced out of the market”? By what, price controls? Certainly not competition, since there is none from their own admission.

      1. As with a lot of drugs that treat tropical ills, the people who need them have no money. They can only be purchased through charity, and that tends to put a wee bit of downward pressure on the selling price.

    1. I don’t want her to apologize for it. What would an apology do? I want her to acknowledge her poor judgment makes her unfit for public office and slink away, never to be seen again.

      1. Forget slinking away. I want to see her in a federal prison.

        1. Kind of harsh on the other ladies in there on drug charges. The guards, too. That is a body cavity search I wouldn’t wish on anyone.

      2. That’s…also not going to happen.

        1. That’s what I was about to say.

    2. I dedicate this song to Hillary:


    3. Never surrender!

      But will she take responsibility for it?

  7. May God the deity of your choice help us all:

    Hillary Clinton to Show More Humor and Heart, Aides Say

    They want to show her humor. The self-effacing kind (“The hair is real, the color isn’t,” she said of her blond bob recently, taking note of Mr. Trump) has played better than her sarcastic retorts, such as when she asked if wiping a computer server was done “with a cloth.”

    They want to show her heart, like the time she comforted former drug addicts in a school meeting room in New Hampshire.

    And, to soothe Democrats uneasy about her shaky poll numbers, they want her to relentlessly contrast herself with Republicans, saying she is at her best when showing willingness to do battle.

    1. That cackling can only endear her to voters.

    2. So the DNC is attempting to recalibrate HillBot again?

      What is this, like the seventh time she’s been “reintroduced” since her campaign started? Just admit that she’s fake and unlikeable.

      1. Yeah, it would be nice if they just admitted the facts, except who is going to go in and tell the shrill harpy that no one likes her because she is a shrill harpy?

        Sounds like a good way to get your ass kicked.

      2. But this time she is going to do a better job of faking likable, honest, and intelligent.

      3. They should give her a Reset button.

    3. like the time she comforted former drug addicts in a school meeting room in New Hampshire.

      Like that one time she had to duck from sniper fire in Bos-Heg?

      1. Weakened by sniper fire, she had to eat a couple of children to restore her health?

    4. Here she is showing more heart, beginning with the help.

      1. I miss Futurama….

  8. Should the first in a queue be served last?

    Everyone knows how a queue works. It’s a line of people where the person at the front gets served first. But Danish researchers have recently made a shocking suggestion – that queuing on the basis of last-come-first-served may sometimes be more efficient.

    1. Efficient for about 30 seconds until the riot starts and then the clerks have to sweep the dead bodies out of the way.

    2. That is a stack, not a queue. Queue is fifo, stack is lifo.

      1. Thank you robc.

        How’s the brewery business?

      2. Yes – words have meanings.

        1. Often more than one.

    3. The queue is the basis of civilization.

  9. Spot the Not: translated names of martial arts

    1. fast fist

    2. great skill

    3. empty hands

    4. gentle art

    5. touch fighting

    6. stomp fist discipline

    1. Tricked me into googling number 1. Time to wipe my own memory clean.

    2. Isn’t No. 1 a version of our own Fist of E?

        1. Try thinking about baseball.

          1. All those athletic bodies in tight uniforms?

    3. 1 is the Not. The rest in order are kung fu, karate, jiu jitsu, krav maga, and taekwando.

      prize for the winners: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXG4HrH1L-k

      1. 1 is also referred to as “European Quickie”

    So as the climate changes in our lifetimes, does this mean that we will see our family pets evolve before our very eyes?
    No, Janis said. The changes scientists say are happening now are coming too fast. The results are simple — extinction.
    “The climate is changing way too rapidly for us to adapt,” Janis said. “It is not particularly good story, is it?”
    Cliimate change: is there anything it can’t do?

    1. So in a few generations, we can turn wolves into chihuahuas, but global warming will wipe our pets out?

      1. Yes, because wolves and other dogs have never been able to survive previous warm periods….oh, wait.

    2. Oh good lord, talk about headline trolling.

  11. A hotel that looks like a couple having sex has been erected. Of course it has.

    The bizarre structure is a temporary installation which doubles as a hotel capsule for VIP’s at the annual Ruhrtriennale Festival in Bochum, Germany.

    It has been named the ‘Domestikator’ by Atelier Van Lieshout, the creative firm who erected the unusual building.

    And, as you’ve probably already noticed, it looks like a couple having sex. Doggy style.

    1. It is to our great shame as a nation that we allowed Germany to beat us to this triumph of architecture.

      1. Well, I’m sure hundreds of them have already been built in Minecraft.

    2. It will be dynamited for being an idolatrous monument within 30 years.

      1. 500k per year? I give it 15.

        1. 20-30 years is about how long it will take to grow a new generation of second generation Muslims who will be more radical and aggressive than their parents and grandparents.

          1. I dunno. With those numbers, how well they’re screened and where they’re coming from? I’m hearing about discarded Pakistani IDs. With a little leadership and rapidly increasing numbers, I’m sure they could… integrate into western secular society, not form ethno-religious ghettos and join in the kumbayas http://www.rt.com/news/314684-…..ts-pegida/ we got going on – I’m talkin’ about this generation.

            1. Immigrants that arrive in en masse don’t have the same incentives to assimilate because they have the ability to form their own insular communities, especially into societies infected with perverse notions about “multiculturalism”. If you think a few million Syrians and Iraqis transplanted to Germany will become Germans or will raise their children as Germans, you are sadly mistaken.

              1. I think that was sarcasm.

              2. You know who else didn’t think Semitic people couldn’t fit into German society?

    3. And it’s so modern it even looks like MineCraft figures doing it!

        1. Thanks. I am a fan of good design.

    4. Erecting it is one thing. But if it stays up for more than four hours, there could be problems.

    1. Yeah, that’s why they’re “advocates.”

    2. Unfortunately, the Coalition for the Homeless actually advocated for the state to cut the program.

      Why? The article doesn’t say.

  12. Muslim flight attendant says she

    was suspended for refusing to serve alcohol

    (CNN)A Muslim flight attendant says she was suspended by ExpressJet for refusing to serve alcohol in accordance with her Islamic faith.

    In a bid to get her job back, Charee Stanley filed a discrimination complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission on Tuesday for the revocation of a reasonable religious accommodation.

    She wants to do her job without serving alcohol in accordance with her Islamic faith — just as she was doing before her suspension, her lawyer said.

    “What this case comes down to is no one should have to choose between their career and religion and it’s incumbent upon employers to provide a safe environment where employees can feel they can practice their religion freely,” said Lena Masri, an attorney with Michigan chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations.

    1. And I am sure NOW and other feminazis will fall over themselves to support her. Unlike the pharmacist who doesn’t want to dispense Plan B.

    2. At least she wasnt required to officially sanction gay marriage.

    3. I know that Islam bans drinking of alcohol but does it ban serving it?

      And if she is such a strict Muslim why did she apply for a job involving serving alcohol.

      1. Perhaps she should get a job at a pig farm and then refuse to do any work. Then sue when they fire her. I think Muslims everywhere finally have found niche industry that they’ll be very successful at. They can be combine their grievance mongering with their ability to make westerners tie themselves into knots to be “tolerant”, and then make money in the process.

        1. They are already practicing that type of “lawfare” in many spheres of western life already. Just give it time….

        2. Get a job signing marriage licenses.

          1. oops, sorry db.

        3. “Perhaps she should get a job at a pig farm and then refuse to do any work. Then sue when they fire her.” Dang, I think I just found a career.

      2. From the article:

        Stanley, 40, started working for ExpressJet nearly three years ago. About two years ago she converted to Islam. This year she learned her faith prohibits her from not only consuming alcohol but serving it, too, Masri said.

        1. 40? As a stewardess, she should have been fired 12 years ago anyway.

        2. I think that is even worse. So when she found out, the proper response is to ask her supervisor if it is ok that someone else on her crew serves all the alcohol. If her supervisor is willing to do that great! If not, she can either live with not meeting all aspects of her “religion” (as many religious people do) or apply for a different job in the company.

          1. That’s exactly what happened. They were accommodating her until a coworker complained.

            1. Accommodating or just making another co-worker do her work?

              1. I assume the latter. I’d like to know why the complaint was made.

                1. Because somebody got tired of doing all her work – would be my guess.

              2. Kind of like “accommodating” other people’s children in the workplace means dumping all their work on child-free people like me.

        3. So it took her 2 years to figure out that Mohammad didn’t approve of the booze? She might be in for some more nasty surprises when she gets to the part about how he liked to treat his women.

          When I’m scoping out new religions, those are the kind of details I want to know about upfront.

          1. To find out she wasn’t supposed to serve it.

            1. Again – if your job is to serve booze, you might want to read ahead to that part prior to taking the leap.

              There are other Koran approved jobs out there – slave auctioneer comes to mind.

        4. I question the sanity of anyone who converted to Islam after 9/11.

    4. “What this case comes down to is no one should have to choose between their career and religion

      No one does.

    5. Suppose the court sides with this dbag. The employability of religious people just plummets, particularly Muslims.

      1. Wait a minute. Are you saying that passing laws or setting precedents that basically turn certain groups into walking lawsuits will actually decrease employers’ incentives to hire them??

        Laws sometimes do the opposite of what their designers intend or claim to intend? Get outta here. Next you’re gonna tell me that the ADA actually reduced employment among people with disabilities, or something.


    6. Jesus Christ people have lost their minds and sense of professional courtesy.

      1. No, Rufus, this is a Mohammed person, although certain sects of Jesus Christ people have similar hang ups with libations and such….

        1. Jesus himself seemed to like his wine and made sure his buddies all had enough too.

          1. The Baptists will tell you the Jesus Juice was just grape juice, not really wine as we know it today with the fermentation and the alcohol and the feeling so good you might be tempted to dance. The same Baptists that tell you every single word in the Good Book is the inerrant Word Of God. Except for the wine, that was just grape juice.

    7. Bullshit. Your job is to serve alcohol.

    8. I don’t know what the Obama administration will do in this specific case, but they *did* demand that a clothing store accomodate a clerk’s demand for religiously-appropriate garb.

      While forcing religious accomodation on the private sector, however, the administration doesn’t think the *government* should practice religious accomodation.

      Second-guess employers’ decisions? Sure! Force them to accomodate the consciences of their employees! But the government itself doesn’t have to do this when interacting with the citizens – because government is more important than some corporation.

  13. Meet the Blue Bastard: Australian scientists name a new species of fish after the colour and difficulty to catch

    1. So because it’s good at self-preservation it’s a bastard?

      1. Well, I suppose technically “Blue bastard” means we’re calling the fish a bastard, but it’s based not so much the fish as the act of catching it. We use bastard in many ways, including to refer to a difficult or challenging act or thing (“How’s the repair going?” “Not so flash – it’s a bit of a bastard”). Or indeed someone you like (Aaaah, you old bastard!) or pity (Poor bastard got sacked). Come to that, I once heard someone greet an old mate with the classic “G’day ya queer cunt!”

        1. Ah, yes, I’d forgotten about that usage. Thank you.

          I once heard someone use the phrase “a bastard and a half” for a particularly difficult task.

  14. St Neots man Nelson Nazare sentenced for possessing fish porn

    On June 25, he approached her (his wife – ed) outside her home, which resulted in her driving to St Neots police station and calling the police from inside her car. Nazare knocked on the window but she did not respond.

    The extreme pornography was discovered when Nazare’s mobile phone was confiscated by police as part of the harrassment investigation.

    On the device, they found two pornographic videos involving a woman and a dog, and one involving a man having sex with a large fish.

    1. What’s the big deal? I’ve heard of guys having sex with cold fish all the time.

      1. No more calls, please, we have a winner.


    2. Troy McClure?

    3. a man having sex with a large fish. a couple different ways to read that.

  15. Miley, Kanye and the VMAs’ uncomfortable truth

    It’s an odd function for what amounts to a celebration of mostly mediocre music, but the VMAs have a history of revealing how modern American racism and sexism can be weaponized to deny even the wealthy and famous black artists a full measure of personhood — that is, the right to be less than perfect. This year’s edition provided ready examples of just how fraught black personhood is and the birthright protections of whiteness.

    Depending on your perspective, Miley Cyrus, this year’s host and America’s foremost practitioner of cultural appropriation, enjoys the benefits of this personhood, despite — or perhaps because of — the fact that she’s a garish avatar of the screaming American id.

    And yet, Cyrus will go on being viewed, at worst, as a harmless neon imp whose admirable work with many charities suggests a person guided by good intentions, never mind the road those intentions are paving. Meanwhile, the consequences of being denied a full measure of personhood were on troubling display when Nicki Minaj, an actual music star, dared to confront Cyrus from the stage ? after being stereotyped by her as an angry black woman in the paper of record.

    Few acts tap into America’s streak of racist dehumanization quite like a black person taking issue with a white woman.

    1. when Nicki Minaj, an actual music star

      This writer is clearly deranged and can be safely ignored.

      1. smdh

    2. Thought that HAD to be salon until I hovered over it….wow.

    3. Who gives a shit? For most of these modern day vaudeville acts, being outraged is part of their act.

    4. The fact that someone read this and determined that it was fit to publish on a nationally recognized website (other than the Onion) both saddens and terrifies me.

    5. You know who else named Cyrus got a lot of praise?

      1. Cyrus the Great, founder of the Achaemenid Empire?

        1. Yeah, I was thinking of him restoring the Jews after their Babylonian exile.

      2. Don’t tell my heart, my achey-breaky heart

  16. Derpy’s Army Countdown: 11 weeks left

    motivational thought: there is no point in tip-toeing through life just to arrive safely at death
    motivational song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAwWPadFsOA

    1. That’s not Nicki Minaj.

  17. “What bread in the bone comes out in the flesh,” she whispered. The sickly smell of corrupted meat was the only perfume she ever wore and it raced from his nose straight to his penis on a wave of blood. His erection sprang into her hand with an audible slap and she clamped down on it with a hideous grip.

    “You’re weak, Joe,” she whispered, raspy and hoarse. “Everyone knows it. Spineless like your father; meek like your mother. You were created by cowardice and a coward you are.” She squeezed the blood from his penis and glanced down to watch it rush back in after she released it. “This is all you’ve ever been good for, a cheap fuck in a train toilet.”

    “That that that’s not true,” he stuttered. He licked at the slack skin of her neck as she forced the blood out his erection again. She wadded his penis up like a FOIA request and bore down. It felt like his scrotum would burst.

    “You can’t run,” she said, the puckered asshole of her mouth barely moving.

    “P-p-p-lease,” he whined, he whimpered, he said in a wet sob. She was crushing his penis into his body. She caught up his balls in her other hand and caressed them into one large bruise.

    1. “You won’t run,” she said. “I’ll tear it off and fuck you with it. I’ll deglove it and use the skin as a condom when I fuck Bernie. I’ll suck the maggots from the wound and spit them in your mouth. You won’t run.” She dug her thumbnail into the underside of his penis, feeling the tendons under the skin. Joe moaned in terror and pleasure. “You won’t run. You won’t run. You won’t run.”

      When he fainted, she squatted to urinate on him.

      1. Ripped from the headlines.

      2. Surely she’d wait until he was conscious to urinate on him so he could drink it greedily

        1. She was marking him to warn off other scavengers. How do you not know this? Are you really Australian?

      3. *searches for cyanide pill*

        1. is there an extra, brother?

      4. She wadded his penis up like a FOIA request

        Thank you. I needed that laugh.

    2. “wadded up his penis like a FOIA request” . . . lolol

  18. Republicans are growing increasingly concerned that Donald J. Trump’s inflammatory language is damaging the party…

    One wouldn’t think it possible, but yes, the GOP can be further damaged by one of its own. What’s great is, besides immigration, what conservative platform does he have? What platform at all? come to think of it.

  19. Pope to release new annulment procedures Tuesday

    VATICAN CITY (AP) ? Pope Francis on Tuesday will release new streamlined procedures for annulling marriages after he ? and thousands of Catholics before him ? complained that the church’s current system is cumbersome, costly and often unfair.

    Francis will release the new rules after a Vatican-appointed commission of canon lawyers spent the past year studying ways to simplify the process while safeguarding the principle of the indissolubility of marriage, the Vatican said.

    Here the gays were all ready to ruin the sanctity of good Christian marriage and the Pope goes and steals their thunder.

    1. He must have a pen and a phone too…from god!

    2. Fair enough – I hope His Holiness works on reforming things on the front end – so that Catholics seeking to be married are investigated to make sure they don’t have problems which will be discovered in an annulment procedure years later.

  20. You failed Cape Cod.

    You failed.


    1. Well, some of those people were trusting. I don’t care that it’s incapacitated and on land; there is no way I would be kneeling next to a great white.

      1. So they can assume it’s safe to go back into the water?

  21. Fact: The studio recording of Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” outshines the complete catalog of The Beatles.

    1. Not hard, the beatles had few works worth listening to. Oddly my favorite versions are often covers by other bands who do it better.

      1. Here we go…cue the ‘over rated’ crowd.

        1. Aerosmith’s rendition of “Come Together” trounced the original. it’s still the only beatles-written song that regularly makes my playlist.

          1. If you say so!

        2. She loves you ya, ya, ya.

          I wanna hold your haaaaaaaand.

          We all live in a yellow submarine.

          And people think the Beatles are overrated. Hah!

      2. I prefer the Rutles.

        1. All you Need is Cash.

    2. I prefer Communication Breakdown or When the Levee Breaks. Whole Lotta Love is a little too unfocused for me.

      Taxman is probably the best Beatles Song. The only album of theirs I can listen to straight through is Abbey Road. The early songs are teeny-bopper stuff.

      1. When the Levee Breaks is a cover.

      2. Revolver is their strongest album. No filler.

  22. Hillary: ‘I Am Going To Make Some Employers Go to Jail’

    Speaking at a Labor Day rally in Hampton, Ill., today Hillary Clinton threatened to imprison employers for “wage theft.”

    “We’re going to go back to enforcing labor laws,” Clinton said. “I’m going to make sure that some employers go to jail for wage theft and all the other abuses that they engage in.” “And we are going to make it harder and harder to stop what should be the right of every American: to join a union and bargain collectively through that union,” she continued.

    “But, I’ll tell you, we’ve got a fight on our hands.”

    1. Indulgences will still be available for a reasonable fee though, right?

    2. “And we are going to make it harder and harder to stop what should be the right of every American: be forced to join a union and bargain collectively only through that union, on pain of imprisonment or dismemberment” she continued.

    3. Someone is feeling pressure from the unions

    4. Someone is feeling pressure from the unions

  23. Drunk man kicks robot that can read your emotions

    The Japan Times reported that he lost his temper with a member of staff, but took it out on the $1,600 (?1,048) robot instead.

    The robot, which has been available to buy since June this year, is an “emotional” robot which can recognise human emotions and respond with simulations of anger, joy and irritation.

    It is not known whether the robot, called a “Pepper” robot, reacted to being angrily kicked.

    1. Maybe now it with learn to keep its stupid robowhore mouth shut.

    2. Hillary was in Japan?

      1. Please, this is much more sophisticated tech than Hilary.

    3. Forget it, dude, it’s Japan town.

  24. Sanders is building a real campaign organization

    CNN’s Suzanne Malveaux caught up with Sanders following his headquarters opening in Ottumwa, Iowa. In an office filled with “Bernie” t-shirts, posters, yard signs, and some “Cats for Bernie” pins, he acknowledged that his support during what’s been dubbed the “summer of discontent” has outpaced his political infrastructure.

    “So what we are doing now is hiring on people. We have now dozens of people on the ground here in Iowa. Great crowds are wonderful, but that does not necessarily translate into votes. People need to be organized and know how to come out and participate in the caucuses,” Sanders said.

    Sanders said his campaign is not only hiring in Iowa, but also in New Hampshire and elsewhere, creating an organization structure to handle volunteers.

  25. the Central Intelligence Agency and the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency

    The Vast right-wing conspiracy is, um, vast.

  26. And now, an encore of:

    The Trumpomorphosis

    by Franz Derpka

    One morning, when Donald Trump woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin, which for him was not much of a change. He lay on his slimy back, and if he lifted his head and bent his eye stalks just so, he could see his slimy belly, soft and shining from mucus. The bedding was soaked with it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. His first thought was to check his hair the mirror. He rolled off the bed and hit the floor with a wet thump, then slithered to the bathroom. He was relieved to see the familiar gray, wispy bouffant was still there. Suddenly, a knock came at the door of his hotel room. Trump remembered he has due to give a speech with the other GOP candidates that morning. He slimed to the door and awkwardly used his facial tentacles to open it. A chipper young aide greeted him.

    “Mr. Trump! Sorry to wake you, but we need to get you backstage. Please, follow me.”

    Trump wondered why she did not notice he had transformed into a giant slug. He put away his doubts. Time to make America great again, he thought.

  27. ‘In God We Trust’ decals on police cars draw complaints

    The decision by police this month to unveil the phrase in Childress, an agricultural community of some 6,100 people at the southern edge of the Texas Panhandle, follows a similar move by dozens of police agencies elsewhere in the country.

    Police Chief Adrian Garcia said he decided to add the decals in response to recent attacks on law enforcement personnel that have received broad attention, including the Aug. 28 killing of a sheriff’s deputy who was shot 15 times at a Houston-area gas station.

    “I think with all the assaults happening on officers across the country ? it’s time we get back to where we once were,” Garcia told the Red River Sun newspaper. He did not respond to an Associated Press request for comment.

    1. Well, it’s more truthful than “To Protect and Serve”.

    2. How about

      Honk if you Want a Beating

      My Other Car is a Tank

      Coexist…With my Fist

    3. LOL… Here in NYC, the city just spent an enormous sum on new stickers for the NYPD cruisers that have the Twitter bird and the pound sign next to the precinct number – “#NYPD 101 Precinct”

      1. The words “pound” and “NYPD” should probably be avoided by their PR department.

    4. “I think with all the assaults happening on officers across the country ? it’s time we get back to where we once were”

      So you went with the “In God We Trust” decal because they were all sold out of the “I Will Beat Your Nigger Ass” decals? What are you saying? You don’t seem to grasp the fact that a lot of people are pissed off at the cops because the cops keep doing shit that pisses people off. No, it’s not time to go back to where we once were. We’re tired of being where we once were. We’re not going to let you push us back to where we once were. We will kill you if you try making us go back where we once were. What will it take for you to get that through your thick skull?

  28. University of Tennessee to back off from gender-neutral pronouns

    University of Tennessee President Joe DiPietro informed the UT Board of Trustees on Friday that a university newsletter article advocating the use of “gender neutral” pronouns such as “ze” for “he” and “she” for some students will be removed from UT-Knoxville’s Office for Diversity and Inclusion’s website.

    Moreover, the ensuing controversy over “ze” and “xe” and other suggested pronouns has spawned a new directive from DiPietro and UT-Knoxville Chancellor Jimmy Cheek.

    The chancellor is telling campus vice chancellors “not to publish any campuswide practice or policy without his approval after review with the Cabinet.”

    1. ” The chancellor is telling campus vice chancellors “not to publish any campuswide practice or policy without his approval after review with the Cabinet.”

      I can imagine the phone call with the Governor involved the expression, “WHO THE FUCK IS RUNNING THAT CLOWN SHOW YOU GOT OVER THERE?”

      1. I’m betting this was vetted, and this is the higher-ups covering their asses.

    2. You know what other chancellor didn’t like things being done without his approval?

  29. Iraqi woman kills ISIS commander who forced her into sex slavery

    An Iraqi woman has taken revenge on the Islamic State commander who forced her into sex slavery, killing him near the city of Mosul.

    The woman killed a senior commander known as “Abu Anas” three months after he forced her to marry several men under his command, Kurdistan Democratic Party spokesman Saeed Mamouzini told al-Sumaria TV.

    The commander was killed on Saturday in the Tal Roman district, west of militant-held Mosul, according to Mamouzini.

    note: RT – so who knows?

    1. I wonder hows she’s doing today.

      1. Well, quit wondering. Until we fix all problems for women at home, like having contraception paid for, we can’t even begin to address rampant sex slavery in Iraq.

        1. The Yazidi women think they have it so bad. It makes me sick that they don’t stop to think about the real problems that women face in combating the white male privilege, patriarchy and rape culture in the US.

        2. Even if they did give a shit about actual atrocities, I don’t think our feminists would be capable of doing anything about it. Maybe nag the terrorists to death.

          1. To be fair, western feminism has done very well at emasculating generations of men. Maybe if we somehow instill progressivism into ISIS’s ranks, their tolerance and egalitarianism will eat them from the inside out.

          2. Writing articles critical of the practices of savages in another country isn’t going to win them points with their Jezebel followers. It’s difficult to work the sexism angle into a story when both savages and the neocon warmongers who want to exterminate them are purported to be horrible misogynists.

            1. But who’s misogyny is worse? The Republicans are only anti-ISIS because they want to force the Iraqi sex slaves to pay for their own birth control. So you see, Republicans are really pro-slavery and anti-birth control. The worst of both worlds.

          3. Maybe they’ll figure out how to help those women eventually..but right now figuring out which pronouns to call them is, like, really important.

    2. “Abu Anas” sounds like a butthole senior commander.

    3. I *want* this to be true – and I want the killing to have been in the context of self-defense so I can properly cheer her resistance.

      1. If someone killed an ISIS commander because they didn’t like the fuzziness of his beard, that’s okay with me.

      2. I want the killing to have been in the context of self-defense

        I’m pretty sure anybody, killing anyone with ISIS or any of these other hostis humani generis savages, can claim self-defense and not get any argument from me.

    4. note: RT – so who knows?

      Glorious mouthpiece for Glorious Leader Comrade Putin never tell lies!

    5. An ISIS commander? Surely you mean an ISIS second-in-commander. Second-in-commanders are as common as fleas on a camel, actual commanders are apparently as common as unicorns.

  30. Meanwhile, in another room, Jeb Bush woke from troubled dreams, and he found himself transformed in his bed into a horrible vermin, which for him was not much of a change. He lay on his slimy back, and if he lifted his head and bent his eye stalks just so, he could see his slimy belly, soft and shining from mucus. The bedding was soaked with it and seemed ready to slide off any moment.

    “?Dios mio! Soy una babosa”, Jeb said in fluent Spanish. He had long been in the habit of saying everything in Spanish first. He watched all those damn Muzzy videos, and by gum he was he was going to speak Spanish come hell or high water.He glanced at the cheap alarm clock and saw that he had no time to lose. “?Arriba, Arriba, Andale, Arriba! ” he gurgled as he slithered out the the door and into the hallway. Jeb and Trump met each other head on in the hotel hallway. They stopped and stared at each other. Trump remembered once watching a nature documentary about slugs. They were hermaphrodites with ‘uuuuuuge penises in their heads who…

    Oh no. Dear god no, Trump thought.

    1. Deep within their slug loins, Jeb and Trump began to feel strange throbbing sensations. Jeb peered at Trump and found him irresistible. He love for Trump was even greater than his love for Common Core. Trump gazed deeply into Jeb’s eyes and was transfixed, as though Jeb had seized his heart by eminent domain. Jeb and Trump moved closer together and began licking each other, fondling each other with their face tentacles, and entwining their bodies. The Trump aide was paralyzed with horror and disgust; she watched helplessly. From each slug head, a massive blue-tinted penis erupted. The sound was like the popping of two biscuit cans. Trump’s comb-over went slightly askew. The phalli reared up like two cobras before slamming together and furiously pumping slug spunk into each other’s orifices.

      “?Mas! ?Mas!” gurgled Jeb.

      “Yeah! Take it, bitch!” gurgled Trump.

      1. Lindsey Graham came out of his hotel room to find the writhing monstrosity right in front of him. His gaze narrowed as he reached into his pocket, pull out a full fist, and cried “pocket salt! shi-shi-sha!” as he flung it onto the pulsing slugs. Trump and Jeb shrieked in pain.

        Lindsey Graham ran downstairs to the dining room and grabbed all the salt shakers he could carry, then ran back upstairs. A few feet away from the slugs, he unscrewed the tops of the salt shakers and one by one, dumped them on the slugs. When the slugs stopped moving, the frightened aide ran to Graham saying “my hero!” and ran to hug Graham, who uncomfortably accepted the embrace.

        When the story hit the papers, Graham was cleared of any wrongdoing and his supporters began holding up salt shakers at this rallies. Inexplicably, Trump continued to lead in the polls while his supporters demanded to see his long form death certificate. Jeb was quickly forgotten and his supporters soon flocked to Mitt Romney, who began to campaign as soon as he’d heard the news.

        The End

        1. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?!?!?!

          1. I told SugarFree about Leopard slug mating months ago in the hope that it would inspire a story, and he did nothing with it. So, I took matters into my own hands.


    2. SugarFree has no worries about competition.

      1. It doesn’t have to be a competition. There’s plenty of room in the market of ideas for various and sundry filth peddlers.

        1. I demand quality in my filth. You, suh, deliver in the manner of a fine Kentucky gentleman.

  31. New male contraceptive may be off-putting for many men

    Scientists have developed a synthetic gel which is non-hormonal and easily reversible.

    However, it is injected directly into the testicles.

    Vasalgel is directly injected into the passageways that transport sperm, which blocks the release of the sperm and allows other fluids to get through.

    Its main advantage over vasectomy is that it will be more readily reversible than vasectomy: if a man wishes to restore fertility, whether after months or years, the polymer would be flushed out of the vas with another injection.

    1. How long does it last/how often do you need the injection? If it’s one and done then that’s really no different from a vasectomy, except easier to reverse. If it’s like a once a month thing, that’s a harder sell.

    2. Pass

    3. I think, for a lot of guys, this is a no-go, because it makes them do something maintenance-wise below the belt. And even hearing other people utter the words associated with that region makes a lot of guys run.

      1. Maintenance is one thing; needles are completely another.

        1. Point taken.

          1. What you did.

    4. Birth control for men would end the human race


    5. Congratulations, they’ve invented something compared to which men will prefer chastity.

    6. it is injected directly into the testicles

      Yeah, no.

    1. The new-fangled hallucinogen was taken at a conference sponsored by a fringe homeopathic group. The established association of German homeopaths denounced the group and essentially called them quacks.

      1. LADINI 32 minutes ago
        Did you hear about the homeopath who forgot to take his medicine?
        ……He died of an overdose.

      2. “A fringe homeopathic group”. Does this fringe group have a fringe group? After all, a diluted version of homeopathy is a better version of homeopathy.

    2. Not like LSD. 2C-E is a phenethylamine, not a tryptamine. At least they named the actual drug and didn’t call it “bath salts” or “plant food” or something.

  32. German finmin says must avoid reliance on debt, cenbank stimulus

    An excessive reliance on debt and central bank stimulus is no way to manage an economy, German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble said on Tuesday, defending Berlin’s pursuit of a balanced budget.

    Germany has faced calls from European peers to invest more to stimulate demand with a view to generating more growth across the euro zone, but Schaeuble said a policy aimed at delivering sustainable public finances was the best course Berlin could take.

    “Fewer debts, fewer crises, more sustainable growth … that is the best policy we can produce in these times,” he told the Bundestag lower house of parliament in a budget debate, adding that Germany can still achieve a balanced budget this year and next despite the refugee crisis.

    1. I’m sure that hundreds of thousands more Muslim refugees will lead to “fewer debts and fewer crises.”

  33. Jerry Bance, Conservative caught peeing in mug, no longer candidate, party says

    A service technician caught on hidden camera urinating into a coffee mug during a 2012 house call to repair a leaky sink before he became a Conservative election candidate is no longer running, the Tories said today.

    Jerry Bance “is no longer a candidate,” said Conservative spokesman Stephen Lecce in a brief email to CBC News on Monday.

    Lecce later confirmed to CBC News that Bance was dropped for not being truthful during the candidate screening process.

    1. So their candidate screening process includes a question about peeing into coffee cups? Can’t say they’re not thorough

  34. * A review conducted by the Central Intelligence Agency and the National Geospatial Intelligence Agency has determined that Hillary Clinton did receive classified information on her personal email account.

    Not CLASSIFIEDclassified, so what’s the worry?

    1. Phaike Skandul?

    2. As someone noted in blowing up her current defense that “nothing was marked.”

      Its not classified because its marked, its marked because its classified. Taking the mark off, or failing to put it on, doesn’t declassify the material.

  35. Why Isn’t the DC Police Chief in Jail for not Issuing Gun Permits?

    Kim Davis, the Democrat Kentucky county clerk who refused to issue same-sex marriage licenses because of religious objections, was ordered to jail for contempt of court last Thursday. She suggested a compromise of removing her name from the licenses, but Federal District Court Judge David Bunning wouldn’t even grant that reasonable compromise.

    Contrast this with Cathy Lanier, chief of the Metropolitan Police Department of the District of Columbia, refusing to issue concealed weapons permits to people unless they can arbitrarily show a “good reason,” nothing required by law. A federal judge issued a preliminary injunction in May stopping her from denying the permits, although notably he did not send Lanier to jail for contempt.

    Similarly, county sheriffs in California had been denying concealed weapons permits to applicants who failed to show a need beyond self-defense. Last November, the Ninth Circuit ruled that the sheriffs were violating the law. None of those sheriffs were sent to jail, despite the fact that people around the country have died unable to obtain a permit to carry concealed.

    1. Because a judge hasn’t found him in contempt, probably.

    2. A federal judge issued a preliminary injunction in May stopping her from denying the permits, although notably he did not send Lanier to jail for contempt.

      Maybe that’s because nothing at the source suggests she refused to comply with that order?

      1. James Madison never made Marbury justice of the peace in DC. Instead of jail, he was sentenced to 8 years in the white house.

        1. The Court did not order Madison to deliver the commission. The case was dismissed for lack of jurisdiction.

          1. That’s the genius of the case. He established a massive precedent, but took no action for anyone to complain about.

            Long. Term. Thinking.

    3. That order to start issuing was suspended pending appeal, sadly.

      I look forward to the day when someone has to show “good cause” to get their journalism license allowing them to comment on politics online.

    4. She suggested a compromise of removing her name from the licenses

      That’s funny. She was quoted elsewhere as saying no license would be valid without her stamp of approval.

      Someone’s lying.

  36. TipsForJesus movement leaves a $3,000 tip for waitress

    It was a normal after-game night at Salt Lake City’s Bourbon House until some University of Michigan fans paid their bill.

    Even though their team lost to University of Utah 24-17, they had something special for their waitress:

    The Bourbon House posted a copy of the receipt on its Facebook page. The receipt, with a $3,000 tip, included the message “@TipsForJesus” along with “#Hail” and “#GoBlue.”

    1. Which she then used to pay for her abortion

  37. U.S. builds up Arctic spy network as Russia and China increase presence

    Over the last 14 months, most of the 16 U.S. intelligence agencies have assigned analysts to work full time on the Arctic. The Office of the Director of National Intelligence recently convened a “strategy board” to bring the analysts together to share their findings.

    In addition to relying on U.S. spy satellites orbiting overhead and Navy sensors deep in the frigid waters, the analysts process raw intelligence from a recently overhauled Canadian listening post near the North Pole and a Norwegian surveillance ship called the Marjata, which is now being upgraded at a U.S. Navy shipyard in southern Virginia.

    yep – still snowin’

    1. it has been outsourced to walruses.

    2. Why are there 16 U.S. intelligence agencies?

      1. Because a good federal jobs program requires lots of duplicated effort?

        Because it makes for lots of petty fiefdoms?

        Because no mandarin trusts the spooks of another?

        Because no mandarin will share the fruits of his spooks with another, anyway?

        I could probably keep going.

    1. It is so sad how our patriarchal society exploits women. Her victimhood is palpable. So palp.

    2. Hello to you, sarcasmic.

      Wait a minute…

  38. But he’s (Trudeau) sooooo dreamy!



  39. This should come as no surprise to Reason readers:


    1. I don’t follow H&R Youtube links as a matter of policy.

      1. Your loss.

        It’s a decent one. To me anyway.

        But nothing new to us.

      2. I rarely do unless I sense some good humor coming.

        What pisses me off more is the video-ization of news. Not just here but everywhere.

    2. His presentation seems better than most TED talks. I hate the “I’ve-conquered-my-nervousness” feeling that most TED speakers have.

    3. Dude thinks that the fact that a 50% reduction in extreme poverty in the past two decades is a good thing. However, that reduction required a very substantial increase in CO2 emissions. We all know that there’s a 97% scientific consensus is that catastrophic anthropogenic global warming is going to cause extreme weather, rising sea levels, droughts, floods, heat waves, snow storms, and ultimately a species extinction event, including that of h. sapiens.

      The 97% scientific consensus demands that the upward trend in CO2 emissions be reversed and that the downward trend in extreme poverty be reversed such that it is universalized. Nothing can accomplish this as well as socialism, especially if administered by the UN on a global level.

  40. Yesss… the end times are near *rubs hands in an evil fashion*

    Palin eyes Energy secretary job in Trump Cabinet

    Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin said Sunday she could see herself serving as Donald Trump’s Energy secretary, declaring that “energy is my baby.”

    But she said her tenure might be short-lived since she wants to eliminate the federal Energy Department entirely.

    “I think a lot about the Department of Energy, because energy is my baby. Oil and gas and minerals, those things that God has dumped on this part of the earth for mankind’s use instead of us relying on unfriendly foreign nations, for us to import their — their resources,” Palin said on CNN’s “State of the Union.”

    “I think a lot about the Department of Energy. And if I were head of that, I’d get rid of it,” she added. “And I’d let the states start having more control over the lands that are within their boundaries and the people who are affected by the developments within their states.

    1. My likelihood of voting for Trump actually just went up ever so slightly.

      Who’s his pick for Education Secretary?

      1. Why not Palin? After she’s done with the Dept of Energy, she can head up the Dept of Education. Then the EPA. Then whatever agency it is that enforces affirmative action. Then OSHA. Then …

    2. “I think a lot about the Department of Energy. And if I were head of that, I’d get rid of it,” she added.”

      Say what you want about Palin (fake woman, conservative troll, religious nut, ignoramus), but we don’t hear this sentiment expressed NEARLY enough….

      1. I must have missed where cabinet members gained the authority to abolish positions.

        1. Something tells me that the departments would keep on going even if the secretary just sat on his/her hands and did nothing.

        2. She could fire the entire department except herself, divest it of all its powers, set her salary at zero, then take a long vacation.

          1. A federal court would probably order her to do all the DOE stuff and put her in jail for contempt if she doesn’t.

    3. This seems so refreshing.

  41. Has anyone read Kim Davis’s Wikipedia page? Try wrapping your mind around this paragraph from the “Personal life” section:

    “Davis has been married four times to three different men.[4] The first three marriages ended in divorce in 1994, 2006, and 2008. She is the mother of twins, who were born five months after her divorce from her first husband. Her third husband is the biological father of the twins, who were adopted by her second husband, Joe, who is also her fourth and current husband.[27].”

    1. Yes, I started at that. But it was all before she got Jesus, and she is from Kentucky after all

      1. Is there an Oz equivalent of Kentucky? Tasmania, maybe? New Zealand? Or maybe those fucking New South Wales fucks. Wherever that is. That sounds like a place where there’d be rednecks. (Bogans? Is that right?)

        1. Actually, IFH would probably say the Oz equivalent is Queensland. But, she’s just jealous.

        2. Tasmania traditionally would be it (inbred, impoverished, and often toothless) but it’s now got a lot of hipsters making artisanal shit. Bogans are not automatically toothless, crazy or ignorant – just a bit uncultured.

          1. Do you still have Westies?

            1. No, I tagged them and set them free to live in the wild. They got a new flannie, a pack of Winnie blues, and my best wishes. I hear them sometimes at night cry “faaaaaaaark maaaaaate” to each other.

              Fun fact: there is a Bogan River

              1. Well played.

          2. Do you have rednecks? I know that the term originates as a slur for Scottish Coventanters, but maybe it had fallen out of use by the time England switched from exiling its criminal trash from here to down there.

            1. We use the word as an import from the US to describe rural bigots

          3. I thought Tasmanians spun around rapidly while snarling and growling.

      2. Yeah, it’s clear that she converted afterwards, so it’s no so much the hypocrisy of it all, but the convoluted way one is forced to describe her marital history. I bet even the average Kentuckian would say “Damn, that’s messed up!”….or whatever the Kentuckian equivalent happens to be.

        1. She is from eastern ky. This is what the rest of ky expects from them.

          1. Exactly. And I’ve (and you have) seen much worse than that. She hasn’t shot a relative or even had a trailer down down as far as I can tell.

            1. I’ve seen worse in Frankfort. Far worse.

          2. Eastern Kentucky = South West Virginia?

        2. Yeah, it’s clear that she converted afterwards

          Which explains a lot. Recent converts to *anything* often tend to be assholish about it.

    2. …And I’m my own grandpa!

      1. I did do the nasty in the pasty.

    3. hello, Uncle Dad!

  42. I had an idea for a porn parody: #blackcocksmatter

    straight version: racist woman police officer gets her cum-uppance.

    gay version: Dylan Roofie goes to shoot up a gay black club and er, gets his cum-uppance.

    Written by: Warty
    Special Guest Star: Warty
    Special Special Guest Star: STEVE SMITH
    Interior Sets: Agile Cyborg

    1. I believe Riley Reid did that one already.

    2. No, no… just call the straight version #blackcoochmatters. Roofie goes to shoot up a church meeting, but is overwhelmed by the lure of Nubian beauty. The climax is the girls all taking turns fucking him with his gun.

      1. “The studio has a few notes.”

        1. Don’t worry, they all use proper trigger discipline. Even the one that cocks the slide while it’s in his ass.

    3. should have been written by SugarFree

  43. American Conservative discovers its love for Amtrak.

    Ultimately, the Republican Party’s efforts in Congress to deny Americans the choice of travel by rail come down to two different visions of America. The first is a vision of the America we once had and conservatives still want, an overwhelmingly middle-class country with lots of nice things available at prices the middle class can afford. The other is an America where the 1 percent lounge in Neronian splendor while the middle class sinks into poverty, where everything they can afford is unpleasant. With its efforts to destroy Amtrak, the Republican Congress casts a vote for the latter.

    1. Amtrak sucks, and they bought copies of the NYT to put on all the business class seats. We shouldn’t be subsidising the purchase of propaganda like that.

    2. Hey, I want to see the country by stagecoach. Bring back a heavily subsidized Wells Fargo or Overland Stage company. Otherwise, you are depriving me of my “choice of travel.”

    3. The other is an America where the 1 percent lounge in Neronian splendor while the middle class sinks into poverty, where everything they can afford is unpleasant.

      Like traveling by Amtrak?

  44. Does anyone know anything about TV antennas? I’m wondering if this thing will do me all right.

    1. Well it’s a lot more professional looking than a coat hanger attached to an unwound spool of solder attached to tinfoil artistically arranged around the living room.

    2. Warty,
      I have the same antenna, but you should go for the 50-mile* version. It works great and the picture quality is indeed 1080p. Great for over-the-air channels.

      *I started with the 35-mile version, but had to add the signal amplifier later, which the 50-mile version gives you up front.

      1. How far are you from the transmitters?

        1. 10-15 miles, but local conditions are not optimal for over-the-air.

      2. Yeah, unless you are in a really good spot for reception, go for the amplified version if there is one.

    3. You can DIY for less than half the cost. I’ve got one on the TV in my living room. Picks up all my local channels, including 3 that my store bought indoor bar antenna didn’t.

    4. We have one of these in the attic.

      We bought it by accident, we really wanted its big brother with the 70-mile range since we are on the fringes of the Atlanta broadcast area, but its been working just fine.

  45. An excessive reliance on debt and central bank stimulus is no way to manage an economy, German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble said on Tuesday, defending Berlin’s pursuit of a balanced budget.

    Krugabe haz a sad.

  46. “Republicans are growing increasingly concerned that Donald J. Trump’s inflammatory language is damaging the party, fearing that his remarks are hardening the tone of other candidates on racial issues in ways that could repel the voters they need to take back the White House.”

    Isn’t Donald Trump now leading Hillary Clinton? Would he beat Bernie? Who knows, but it seems that Trump is running very well against top Democrats and I saw a poll yesterday that had him winning 25% of the black vote. Not only is that huge for a Republican, but if a Republican wins 25% of the black vote, that also probably means black turnout will be lower since animus against the Republican candidate won’t be as great. If a Republican wins 20%+ of black voters in a race where there’s low black turnout, the Republican would win the election easily.

    The reason to fear a Trump presidency is because he’d start ridiculous trade wars with China and Mexico and is also the kind of idiot who would start randomly bombing people out of some minor perceived slight because he’s a narcissist. His presidency would be disastrous and the real problem isn’t that he can’t beat the Democrats, it’s that he might win and destroy this country.

    1. Irish, I’m confused when you say “the real problem isn’t that he can’t beat the Democrats, it’s that he might win and destroy this country.” What else are you holding this election for?

    2. For someone who’s “damaging the party”, he’s polling about even with other Repubs with Latinos, and way ahead on blacks.

      1. The most enthusiastic Trump supporter I know where I am is Hispanic.

  47. Kansas State apologizes after band depicts Jayhawk sucking a penis

    Kansas State University officials are apologizing for their marching band’s halftime routine during Saturday’s season opener.

    The Kansas State band made a formation depicting the Starship Enterprise from “Star Trek” attacking a Kansas Jayhawk, their biggest rival, during their game against South Dakota.

    After social media lit up about performance, the band director and the president of the university apologized.

    Kansas State Marching Band Director Frank Tracz released a statement saying the band’s set formation was not meant to be “anything other than the Enterprise and the Jayhawk in battle.”

    Number One, set phasers to fellatio! Engage!

    1. set phasers to fellatio

      They really started phoning it in with the holodeck episodes toward the end of the show.

      1. The Holodeck is for porn. What do you think Barclay did during his off-duty hours?

    2. I watched that and I really couldn’t see it. I mean, what do the outraged think balls look like?

    3. The really offensive thing last week was KU’s defense against an FCS team.

  48. Norm doesn’t much care for Bill’s humor.
    Completely unfunny

  49. Jonathan Chait: Climate Change Literally Worse Than Hitler

    Here on planet Earth, things could be going better. The rise in atmospheric temperatures from greenhouse gases poses the most dire threat to humanity, measured on a scale of potential suffering, since Imperial Japan and Nazi Germany launched near-simultaneous wars of conquest. And the problem has turned out to be much harder to solve. It’s not the money. The cost of transitioning away from fossil fuels, measured as a share of the economy, may amount to a fraction of the cost of defeating the Axis powers. Rather, it is the politics that have proved so fiendish. Fighting a war is relatively straightforward: You spend all the money you can to build a giant military and send it off to do battle. Climate change is a problem that politics is almost designed not to solve. Its costs lie mostly in the distant future, whereas politics is built to respond to immediate conditions. (And of the wonders the internet has brought us, a lengthening of mental time horizons is not among them.) Its solution requires coordination not of a handful of allies but of scores of countries with wildly disparate economies and political structures. There has not yet been a galvanizing Pearl Harbor moment, when the urgency of action becomes instantly clear and isolationists melt away.

    Paging Mr. Bailey. Mr. Bailey please pick up.

    1. What an idiot.

      Seriously what a pathetic little thinker.

    2. Johnathan Chait – living proof of the Dunning-Kruger effect in action.

    3. The cost of transitioning away from fossil fuels, measured as a share of the economy, may amount to a fraction of the cost of defeating the Axis powers.

      This is proof he’s a moron. The cost of lowering fossil fuel emissions enough to matter would be stratospheric.

      Also, Hitler is just the gift that keeps on giving. No matter what I’m claiming is a major existential threat, all I have to do is pretend it’s like Hitler and everyone who doesn’t want to do what I tell them is like Neville Chamberlain.

      1. I encourage Mr. Chait to give up plastics.

        1. He strangely provides no citation to any evidence related to the costs, too. He just says it with no proof and the braying donkeys who read this bullshit seriously believe it.

          1. Well it is New York Magazine

          2. I can’t cost more than a few billion, right?

            (or does he actually think WWII cost trillions of dollars?)

        2. I assume he’s heating them up and inhaling the fumes.

    4. Tony and Jackass concur.

    5. So long as Chait has a column in a nationally circulated magazine, I will never believe in peak derp

    6. Yeah, war is more straightforward. All you have to do in war is kill enough of the people opposing you so the rest stop opposing you.

      It is wonderful that Chair has determined that the costs of retiring fossil fuels is relatively cheap despite not knowing what the tech is that is going to enable that is.

    7. There has not yet been a galvanizing Pearl Harbor moment, when the urgency of action becomes instantly clear and isolationists melt away.

      Hint, hint.

  50. Dammit, zScaler is a piece of shit! Why did we have to move off of IronPort?

  51. I had to be high to work at Hooters: Boobs, binge eating and men’s wandering hands
    My curves brought me nothing but trouble, so I decided to cash in. How bad could Hooters be? Turns out: Really bad

    The next week, when I showed up for training, the first order of business was to fill out my W-4 forms. The second: finding a uniform that fit. I asked for a size medium shirt and shorts and was handed a small in both.

    “It’s really too bad you’re not 19,” said the manager. “You would look great in the uniform.”

    I thought I might vomit up the Wheat Thins I’d inhaled for lunch, if it weren’t for the stomach-soothing properties of marijuana.

    There was actually nothing I feared more than wearing that getup, and not because I felt somehow above it. The white stretchy tank top and orange shorts would have fit right in with the hair-bleaching kits I shoplifted on my way to the tanning salon. My real fear was what it would reveal: Everything I hated about myself. One dimple of cellulite and the entire restaurant would know I was a phony. In my mind, the only thing worse than being a Hooters Girl was a being a fake-ass Hooters Girl.

    1. No pics? Fuck you, Salon.

      1. She’s fairly nerdy cute.

        Can’t find any pics of this supposedly great rack.

        1. She will not age well. Bang before the expiration date.

    2. Is this really a new article? I swear we discussed something very similar a few months ago. Or is this just one of those articles Salon reruns every 6 months, changing only the names and dates?

    3. You missed the money quote:

      I went into the bathroom to find a gaggle of chatterbox ladies trying on their new uniforms, snapping orange hot pants over hosiery, and comparing asses in the mirror. “How do I look?” one said to another while sucking in a pierced belly button. I turned around just to change my shirt. The pot I’d smoked an hour before was starting to fade, and the reality of the spectacle was setting in.

      I looked in the mirror at my hostess uniform, which made me look like a golf caddy in comparison to the other women. It reminded me of the summers I spent poolside, feeling like a beached whale in a one-piece while bronzed babes sat oiling themselves in string bikinis. I changed back into my regular clothes and walked out.

      She didn’t even work there. She quit before she began.

      1. It reminds me of ESB’s piece about why football is bad, in which she accidentally lets slip that she hates it because none of the big sexy football players would fuck her.

        1. Was that an article or a dream? (links please)

          1. I think this is the one.

            1. Do you have Irish’s footprints on you, as he stampeded to click an ESB link?

            2. I keep forgetting how insufferable she is.

        2. we’re all drawn to people we find stupid and repulsive, some more than others…

    4. Also, this chick needs to get together with the Muslim chick who won’t serve alcohol on airplanes. Maybe they can create a support group for people who intentionally take jobs they hate.

      1. Or they could start a restaurant where everyone wears Amish clothes and no alcohol is served.

    5. “The white stretchy tank top and orange shorts would have fit right in with the hair-bleaching kits I shoplifted on my way to the tanning salon.”

      Shoplifting narcissist whines about bullshit.

    6. If only we didn’t force our young women to work at Hooters. If only there was a process by which people could actually choose where to apply for employment.

      Maybe someday……..

  52. Ultimately, the Republican Party’s efforts in Congress to deny Americans the choice of travel by rail come down to two different visions of America.

    I, uh…

    1. If you refuse to pay for something for someone else, you are denying them access to it!

  53. How open marriages really work
    Monogamy isn’t for everyone, even the betrothed. A gaggle of polyamorists share their secrets to success

    For example, when Margaret Cho and her husband, Al Ridenour, announced they were divorcing, gossip sites asked whether their open marriage was to blame, even though she’s spoken highly of the practice, calling it “more respectful to my nature.” We assume the non-monogamy is to blame when the marriage doesn’t endure because the openness goes against the deeply ingrained linking of marriage and monogamy in the public imagination. Yes, sometimes open marriages end?but many not only survive, but thrive. In fact, those in open marriages often credit polyamory with strengthening the marriage and making each of them better spouses.

    The first thing to know about open marriages is that there’s no single way of conducting them. Some couples have rules; some don’t. Some couples have a live-and-let-live attitude, of the “as long as I don’t find out, it’s okay” variety, while others, like erotica author Malin James, want their primary partners to meet their other lovers, and vice versa. James even had her girlfriend as one of her bridesmaids when she married her husband. There’s a whole lot of variety and options when figuring out the type of open relationship that might work for you.

    1. That there is one guy that sleeps with Margaret Cho is surprising; that there are many strains credulity.

      1. Stop making me think about it

        1. He runs a very successful haunted house, which I’m sure really rakes in the cash.

      2. In the six-degrees category, I once briefly worked with a woman whose brother was briefly engaged to Margaret Cho.

  54. Do you know who’d else like to visit Kim Davis in prison?

    1. R.W. Emerson?

    2. Is he a commenter here?

  55. Ugh, NOW President: Before addressing women’s inequality abroad, fix it here!

    End extreme poverty. Fight inequality and injustice. Fix climate change. That’s the vision behind the 17 global goals for sustainable development that world leaders will commit to later this month at the UN. The fifth of those 17 goals, to “achieve gender equality and empower all women and girls,” is absolutely essential. You cannot solve the world’s problems while keeping half the population out of leadership and subordinated to the other half.

    There are many paths toward gender equality for all women and girls. But before we in the U.S. presume that’s only a problem in the developing world, let’s take a closer look at our own backyard. I want to focus on just two things we need to do to achieve equality for women here at home: Guarantee every woman affordable access to the full range of reproductive-health-care services; and increase the minimum wage to a livable wage, indexed to inflation.

    There’s no doubt that these solutions work. But there’s plenty of opposition from Congressional Republicans and far-right extremists who consider “fair” a four-letter word.

    I’m going to stop her right there. Isn’t it profoundly selfish to value wealthy First World women over women in truly deplorable conditions abroad?

    1. “Guarantee every woman affordable access to the full range of reproductive-health-care services; and increase the minimum wage to a livable wage, indexed to inflation.”

      The best way to help poor women with no job skills is to make it impossible for them to get job skills by making their labor prohibitively expensive for employers.

      1. What’s the point of having a job if it doesn’t pay a living wage? Huh? What’s the point?

      2. And putting them on the dole when they can’t land jobs, because nothing spells gender empowerment like living by the grace of a paternalistic government.

        1. I mean shit, welfare dependency has made blacks people equal, right?

  56. Woman at Oxford: Disagreement is tantamount to racism, sexism and/or censorship


    1. Well, that’s an unpleasant woman.

      1. You male mammals really need to better job of handling your females. The cure for what ales this one is not being given in sufficient dose or frequency to keep this one sane. Keep it sticky players, for the sake of your world.

        1. Oh, go lick some ginger.

      2. I couldn’t watch it. I’m assuming she has some kind of argument hidden somewhere underneath that outraged, fingerpointing persona.

        1. No. Her argument is that Peter Hitchens and Brendan O’Neill have said things that made gays and trans people sad, therefore free speech is evil and let’s get rid of it.

      1. He was out here and outraged the chattering classes by calling them bigots


        1. I once listened to a radio interview where he flabbergasted some Irishman by saying that some drunk Rangers fan shouldn’t have been sent to prison for singing a song about the Battle of the Boyne. What a monster.

    2. It looks like a terrible one act play.

    3. I can’t even understand what she’s saying. Brendan O’Neill is supposedly a transphobe according to her (which matters in a debate on free speech for unknown reasons), but the only article I can find by him on the subject is one where he says he doesn’t give a shit about Caitlyn Jenner and is put-off by the authoritarian tendency to force people to applaud those they don’t really care about.

      Here’s a sample:

      “In the media, the talk is of how Caitlyn and her iconic likeness might give an adrenalin shot to humanity itself. A writer for the Guardian describes Caitlyn as a ‘queen’ and instructs us to ‘bow down, bitches’, telling us her icon on the front of Vanity Fair is ‘life-affirming’. Treating Caitlyn as a kind of Christ figure, only in a push-up bra rather than smock, Ellen DeGeneres says this goddess brings ‘hope for the world’, and we should all try to be ‘as brave as Caitlyn’. Susan Sarandon celebrated Bruce/Caitlyn’s mysterious ‘rebirth’ while Demi Moore thanked him/her for sharing with humanity ‘the gift of your beautiful authentic self’. A writer for the Huff Post says the name Caitlyn means ‘pure’ ? ‘what a perfect meaning, right?’ Truly, yes, for St Caitlyn, reborn to educate us all, is most pure.”

      MY GOD! So transphobic!

      He isn’t even criticizing Jenner so much as he’s criticizing the media for their reaction.

      1. She’s just one more twit that is attempting to elevate their own status by being the most outraged over perceived injustice, no matter how inconsequential.

      2. “Brave” does not consist of doing something that wins you nearly universal acclaim among your peer group and social set. I’m still not convinced Jenner’s transgenderism is genuine rather than an attention-whoring stunt to keep the reality show bullshit running.

        1. He may be genuinely…eccentric. America has often (not always) welcomed her eccentrics, like the “Emperor Norton,” without sharing these eccentrics’ curious beliefs.

    4. Yeah, but check out Shami’s rebuttal…

    5. Shami Chakrabarti follows the babbling, feminist, would-be censor at Oxford, and demolishes her “argument”:


      In conclusion: “This motion tonight [regards] the right to offend. This stuff — the freedom of speech and human rights — was paid for by generations long ago, and it was paid for in courage and in blood. They weren’t designed to make us comfortable; they were designed to keep us free.”

  57. The RNC is worried that Trump may destroy the republican party….
    by winning and thereby destroying their lucrative gig playing the Washington Generals to the donkeys Globetrotters.


      1. Your tears are yummy, keep ’em flowin’.

        1. Oh yes, you illiterate fascist embarrassment. I’m crying here. Absolutely.

          1. You forgot “UR STOOPID”

        2. Damn, Zaytsev, you have reduced Warty to complete, babbling, incoherence! He hasn’t ever been terribly coherent but damn!

          Well played, sir!

    2. It’d have to be a recent or new gig, because last I heard the Generals didn’t beat the Globetrotters half the time.

  58. Shocking video shows man high on drugs displaying ‘superhuman strength’ as cops Taser him, use pepper spray and hit him with truncheons… all to no effect

    Officers with the Riverdale Park Police Department used a number of tactics to try and arrest Marcus Anthony Moratelli inside a McDonald’s
    Workers in the restaurant called 911 after he started throwing chairs around and arguing with himself
    Officials say he was high on PCP, which made him able to withstand pain
    It took officers seven minutes to apprehend Moratelli, who was taken to a hospital for evaluation
    Police chief says he has a criminal history – including drug charges

    I’m pleasantly shocked that they didn’t shoot him.

    1. They probably quite literally had their hands full. Letting go in order to panic fire might have seemed a bit dangerous at that moment.

    2. The guy looks pretty solid. That’s just regular human strength.

  59. ‘Who says summer is over?!’ Bella Thorne makes the most of the sunshine as she relaxes in the pool on a giant blow-up swan

    This just in! Youth is still wasted on the young!

  60. Is it just me, or does Bernie look like Bugs Bunny in that pic?

    1. He looks like a guy leering at children at the zoo.

    2. He looks like he just asked his young nephew to pull his finger.

      1. “Uh… that’s not your finger, Uncle Bernie.”

  61. Introducing Roland Vincent


    I am an Animal Rights activist.
    I was a Baptist in my youth, but I am an Atheist.
    I was a libertarian in my youth, but I am a Liberal.
    I am vegan.
    I am a Freemason in the tradition of the Grand Orient of France.
    I am an attorney, but I do not practice law.

    I was a stockbroker and an investment banker, but I’m now a Socialist.
    I am a political strategist.
    I am an historian.
    I served on President Jimmy Carter’s staff.
    I lost a landmark free speech case in the US Supreme Court.
    I ran California’s Proposition 13 campaign for Howard Jarvis.
    I was a Los Angeles City Commissioner in Mayor Tom Bradley’s administration.
    I served on Alabama Governor George Wallace’s staff.
    I was a journeyman machinist while in college, and worked on the rocket engines that went to the Moon.
    My family followed the Dodgers to LA from Flatbush in 1960 (my father handled the Dodgers’ insurance).
    I have 7 rescued parrots, 6 rescued dogs, and one rescued cat.
    I ride motorcycles, sail, fly, and shoot skeet, although not so much of late!

    1. Latest brain farts from Mr Vincent:

      Ceil’s murderer will not face justice. Unless we mete it out to him.

      Continuing to keep the psychopath in the public eye will help. Disrupting his life will help. Impacting his dental practice will help.

      Making his life miserable will help.


      Trump is in danger!

      Not because of his positions on illegal immigration or women’s issues.

      But because Donald Trump threatens the fascist state.

      Donald Trump is the most dangerous man in America to the powers that be. His campaign is seditious to the oligarchs. He threatens to bring down the entire system of political bribery, lobbyists, and corporate control of government.


    2. Me me me me me

  62. ‘The last time I went on a date, I passed out’: Woman who suddenly faints claims it’s stopping her finding love – and food and laughter make her illness WORSE

    Maggie Saunders, 31, has vasovagal syncope, which causes her to faint
    She also claims laughing too hard or eating food like potatoes triggers it
    Also has a serious heart problem and is due to have a pacemaker fitted
    Says her unexpected fainting stops her travelling and finding a boyfriend


    Bill Cosby wants to take her on a date.

    1. Are you sure she’s British? She appears to have good teeth!

  63. German Vice Chancellor Sigmar Gabriel says his country is prepared to accept 500,000 asylum seekers per year.

    So every single year Germany will be adding the equivalent of an impoverished Middle Eastern city to it’s demographics. I don’t see how that could possibly go wrong.

    1. That’s with a total German population of ~81 million. At ~320 million, we let in right around a million immigrants per year, legally. The refugee cap is usually in the 80-100k range. Just for a bit of perspective.

    2. I have a feeling German Vice Chancellor Sigmar Gabriel will be looking for work soon, along with his boss, before Germany willingly accepts millions of aliens.

      1. I have a feeling that Sigmar Gabriel’s eventual grave will be well saturated with urine.

  64. Your panic of the week

    Researchers surveying e-cigarette use in teens were surprised to find that nearly one in five high school students who admitted to using the device have also used it to vaporize cannabis or byproducts like hash oil.

    “We have been evaluating the use of e-cigarettes among this young group of users for a couple of years now, and we know they are using it at a pretty high rate and we assumed it was for nicotine,” senior study author Dr. Suchitra Krishnan-Sarin, a professor of psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine, told FoxNews.com. “We did not anticipate the marijuana use with e-cigarettes.”

    The study, published Sept. 7 in the journal Pediatrics, surveyed 3,847 Connecticut high school students and found 27.9 percent reported using e-cigarettes. Of those users, 18.7 percent say they have used e-cigarettes to vaporize marijuana.

    Won’t somebody save those children from themselves?
    And, of course, “One fifth of those who have tried e-cigs!” could very easily be “three”.

    1. It says 27.9% have used e-cigarettes and 18.7% of those have used it for weed.

      That means we’re actually talking about 5% of teens. Unfortunately, 5% smoking weed doesn’t sound that scary, so they don’t just say “5%,” they say “18.7% of those who have used e-cigarettes” because the number sounds larger to those who can’t do math.

    2. Is their presumption that vaporizers are causing pot use? If so, I’ve got some news for them.

    3. Whenever someone says “X is up Y percent!” I assume that we’re talking about small numbers, otherwise they’d use the numbers instead of the percentages.

  65. Has reasonable stopped working for anybody else? I’ve uninstalled/reinstalled, restarted Chrome, and still nowt

      1. And that’s why i come here… to be understood and not feel so terribly alone *sob*

        1. Spoiler!

          Milligan scores in Tajikistan.

        2. Your Aussie made the team in San Francisco! That is very cool.

          1. That was cool.

          2. @RavNat Did you see the Tajik coach asking Ange if he’d resign if we lost? Bizarro…

            @Crusty It’s gotten many panties wet here. It will be interesting to see if he gets off the bench much

            1. I read the story. Truly bizarre.

              Now 2-0.

              1. TIMMEH!!!!!

            2. IFH, he is going to be returning punts and playing on special teams, so he is going to play and have opportunities to produce, which is really impressive.

              1. Oh cool. What are special teams?

                1. Kick offs and punts. It looks like he will play on both sides of that. Field goals are also special teams, but I doubt they will use him there.

                  1. Aahh, so special teams are actually specialist positions. Gotcha. Your game is a mystery to me.

    1. Switch the URL from https to http. It’s defaulting to https all of a sudden.

      1. Tried that and it defaults back.

        I get it, that https is preferable from a security standpoint, but trading that off for having to put up with the vapid and valueless emissions of trolls and various twits isn’t worth it.

        1. There is supposed to be a way to block this in Chrome (and get HTTP back) but it doesn’t work for me. That made me think that my employer is forcing it but since y’all are having this problem too, I dunno WTF is going on.

      2. Apparently Reason is using an obsolete cipher suite as well, so it’s pretty much useless.

        Way to go interns.

    2. Has reasonable stopped working for anybody else? I’ve uninstalled/reinstalled, restarted Chrome, and still nowt

      I’m being forced to type out my html codes like a common peasant. *crushes monocle in a fit of rage*

      1. FWIW – I added a comment to the plugin page at Google to ask him to make it work with HTTPS.

        1. You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar.

  66. Trump threatens to bring down the entire system of political bribery, lobbyists, and corporate control of government.

    Now, thats some funny shit, right there.

    1. Donald Trump is going to die on a cross for your sins.

  67. The Alternate Universe of Soviet Arcade Games

    Once it was determined which games would be produced, the blueprints were allegedly sent to military factories that primarily made electronics used in nuclear testing and weapons. These were perhaps the only places in the USSR that had the manpower and the means to understand the engineering required to build the arcade games.

    In a curious twist of fate, however, it meant that the instruction manuals were also produced in the factories, and therefore were considered classified government documents. Because of this, the manuals are thought to have all been destroyed. Therefore, anyone intent on restoring the historic arcade games today needs to do a lot of guesswork when servicing the old wires, pipes, lights, and engines.

    Because of the scarcity of materials after the fall of the Soviet Union, many of the machines were destroyed in order to repurpose their parts. And, unlike machines in the West, every single machine that was produced during Soviet-era Russia had to align with Marxist ideology.

    What does that mean, exactly?

    1. Well, to put it simply: it means no Pac-Man. It means no fantasies. It means presenting work as physical labor, promoting Communist patriotism, and glorifying habits of mind that were appropriate to Marxist thinking. Fantasy and role-playing games featuring treasure-hunting, princesses, and invented creatures had no home in the USSR.

      Instead, the most popular games were created to teach hand-eye coordination, reaction speed, and logical, focused thinking. Not unlike many American games, these games were influenced by military training, crafted to teach and instill patriotism for the state by making the human body better, stronger, and more willful.

      It also means no high scores, no adrenaline rushes, or self-serving feather-fluffing as you add your hard-earned initials to the list of the best. In Communist Russia, there was no overt competition.

      1. Sarkeesian was born 2 generations too late and on the wrong continent.

      2. I always suspected that Rock’em Sock’em Robots was the USSR’s version of Mortal Kombat.

    1. Every time I get the vague notion that I might like to visit Australia, an article like this pops up and knocks that idea right out of my head.

    2. Venomous, not poisonous. Poisonous means if you eat it you could die, like the puffer fish for example. As opposed to venomous which means it can inject venom.

      *sits back and waits for Warty to have a conniption fit*

      1. I’m pretty sure eating that thing wouldn’t be good for you either.

        1. Probably not. But unless you’ve got an ulcer or some other way for the venom to enter your blood stream directly, then the venom won’t do the same harm as if you were bit or stung.

        2. That sounds like a challenge.

          “Hold my beer and watch me eat this spider.”

          1. I did that with a moth once.

      2. Your pedantry makes Baby Jesus cry

      3. You just defined the terms circularly. You begged the question. (BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THE PHRASE MEANS ALL OF YOU FUCKS)

        1. This begs that question of if you know what you are talking about, literally.

          1. Nikki can no longer be the worst, now?

          2. I can’t tell if Warty trolled you, or vise versa. But, to put it in Lehman’s terms, your both wrong.

  68. “I’m going to bag the question, and respond to a completely different and largely irrelevant query offered up by the voices in my head.”

  69. Musk

    People are running “the dumbest experiment in history” by continuing to burn fossil fuels, Elon Musk said in an interview earlier this year with Wait But Why’s Tim Urban.

    As Musk explained:

    “The greater the change to the chemical composition of the physical, chemical makeup of the oceans and atmosphere [due to increased carbon emissions], the greater the long-term effect will be.

    “Given that at some point they’ll run out anyway, why run this crazy experiment to see how bad it’ll be? We know it’s at least some bad, and the overwhelming scientific consensus is that it’ll be really bad.”

    Good thing the power to charge those electric cars doesn’t come from carbon fuels.

    1. Perhaps Musk would like to parlay his credibility as a tech entrepreneur into making nuclear marketable to the left, because wind and solar are wholly inadequate substitutes for coal and natural gas.

    2. Hint to Musk: pay someone oodles of money to research where all that carbon came from. Yep, it came from a prior biosphere. In other words, we are only liberating carbon that was once free to start with.

      1. I don’t think that would help. Anyone with a brain already knows that and it really doesn’t refute the warmist position since the climate was rather different when a lot of the fossil fuels were laid down.

        More useful might be to compare the amount of carbon from the ancient atmosphere that is in carbonate rocks versus fossil fuels.

    3. It is almost as if he pretends that electricity is an energy source itself rather than a form to transmit energy. I wonder why he would do such a thing?

  70. Dude thinks that the fact that a 50% reduction in extreme poverty in the past two decades is a good thing. However, that reduction required a very substantial increase in CO2 emissions. We all know that there’s a 97% scientific consensus is that catastrophic anthropogenic global warming is going to cause extreme weather, rising sea levels, droughts, floods, heat waves, snow storms, and ultimately a species extinction event, including that of h. sapiens.

    The 97% scientific consensus demands that the upward trend in CO2 emissions be reversed and that the downward trend in extreme poverty be reversed such that it is universalized. Nothing can accomplish this as well as socialism, especially if administered by the UN on a global level.

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