Marco Rubio Loves Sugar Subsidies, Toy Gun Ban in Boston, Probably Some Trump News: P.M. Links


  • Trump
    Michael Vadon / Flickr

    Marco Rubio has a sweet tooth. (Note: This is actually a story about Rubio claiming that subsidies to the sugar industry are necessary to prevent terrorism. But I like my pun.)

  • Iran deal close to passing.
  • Kim Davis needs to pack it in.
  • According to The Washington Post's Radley Balko, a woman was convicted for standing too close to a police officer. How close? About 50 feet away.
  • Boston wants to ban toy guns from public spaces. Kids play with them, cops shoot the kids, etc.
  • James Bond author doesn't like Idris Elba for James Bond.

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  1. Kim Davis needs to pack it in.


    1. You saying she’s a tight ass?

    2. Hello.


      Yippee! I mades a joke!

      1. Of course, she’s a she, so – packing in the vibrator? Cucumber? I dunno what the lezbos like…

        1. slow

          1. *Bow-chicka wow wow music*

        2. Want lessons?

          1. Just videos – thanks

    3. Where’s my Trump news!?!!?

  2. James Bond author doesn’t like Idris Elba for James Bond.

    No, Mister Bond, I expect you to be WHITE!

      1. Able was I ere I saw Elba.

    1. I know right? Why would an author care that a character look like they imagined them? They are okay with 100% of any change you could possibly make to the thing they’ve labored over for years.

      1. Next he’ll be pissed that Speilberg’s Bond has a remote control instead of a Walther…

        1. Walkie Talkie! Jeez.

          1. sorry – I forgot to go into Photographic Memory mode the last time I saw that episode YEARS AGO

            1. It was on at 12:30 in the morning last night when I got home from work. A true classic. Free Hat!

              1. PEW PEW PEW! PEW! PEW PEW!

      2. Good points, save that this author didn’t imagine James Bond, The guy who could make that particular bitch is long cold.

        1. Ah, then I misread what was going on. No opinion then.

          1. The link-line was misleading, not inaccurate as author doesn’t have to mean creator, but maybe “author who wrote new Bond book” would have been a better description.

          1. Wasn’t Basil Rathbone already playing Holmes?

          2. Looks sort of like Archer.

            1. Yes – arrogant Public (private really) school bully.

              Ian Fleming is dead and unavailable for comment so that headline makes no sense.

      3. If he could speak in received English and lose that neo-Cockney accent, he’d make an excellent Bond.

    2. Best part is that he explicitly named other black actors he thought would be good for the role. So he was literally saying that he didn’t think Elba would be good for the role PERSONALLY not that black people shouldn’t play Bond, but he made the mistake of using a word everyone decided was clearly a racist dog whistle so now he’s our Bigot of the Week.

      I do think the guy is wrong because Elba is awesome and would be a brilliant James Bond, but he clearly was not trying to make this a racial issue.

      1. Elba should star in everything in the world. He should be James Bond. He should be Doctor Who. He’s my favorite actor in the world.

        This isn’t a racial issue. But everything’s a racial issue nowadays, isn’t it? So long as you’re talking about a favored person at least (black people who have differing views are of course fair game).

        1. Elba couldn’t save Prom Night…

          YES, I SAW IT OK

      2. There is no comment he could have made that would NOT have him branded racist-for-life.

      3. Why am I not surprised. I read that long article on Commentary about the Tim Hunt scandal. He probably shouldn’t have said “when you criticize women, they cry” (which I think was the worst part), but he definitely made it clear he was a big supporter of women, and the whole thing got blown out of proportion by a few lying members of the outrage brigade.

      4. Better Black Bonds
        1. Pharrell Williams
        2. Chiwetel Eljiofor
        3. LaVar Burton
        4. Ben Vereen (deceased)
        5. Will Smiff

        1. Ben Vereen is not deceased.

          1. And next I suppose you’re going to tell me that Lou Reed is deceased?

        2. Taye Diggs.

      5. I think he could pull it off. Elba that is.

      6. Yeah. I mean…I really love Anthony Horowitz but he is dead wrong about Elba.

      7. It really is about age. They need a Bond around for 3 or 4 movies so 6-10 years. Do we really want a Bond 50+? Daniel Craig is 47 and has completed 3 films. Casino Royale came out in 2006 – 9 years ago.

        Elba is just too old.


          1. Come to think of it, he seemed an awkward slick on The Wire – or The Office for that matter.

            It’s hard to have that ‘je ne sais quoi’ part of Bond.

            1. Dude, even Angela was trying to hit it.

              1. What do you want from me?

                I’M NOT A CASTING AGENT.

                Just a lowly Reason commenter.

          2. And Stringer is FINE.

      8. Elba would make a good John Stewart Green Lantern, though.

      9. I saw just that quote last night and knew immediately what he meant by street. I disagree, because I don’t think Elba comes off that way (Stringer Bell is predicated on the idea that he can pass as a serious business man), but I also figure I may be missing some specific British thing about class. Elba strikes me as smooth and classy as fuck.

      10. Bond should be a trans-gender cross-dressing Muslim.

        1. So a female bodied transman in a burqa?

      11. We NEEDZ a black James Bond. To prove how tolerant the producers are. Then the consumers and signal their own tolerance and shower his performance with adulation.

        Next Bond can be Han Chinese. Then, Australian Aborigine. That certainly won’t take away from the story or prevent the audience from suspending disbelief in any way.

        1. You know the whole thing came up because a different actor made an off-handed comment about Elba being a great James Bond and a bunch of fans went “holy shit, he would be great.” You can certainly argue that you wouldn’t prefer him as Bond, but it’s not some kind of top down diversity stunt.

          1. And not preferring him is not the same as burning a lower case ‘t’ in his front yard. Maybe it’s not some diversity ploy, I mistook him for the black gentlemen that also happened to be cast as a Norse god.

            1. And not preferring him is not the same as burning a lower case ‘t’ in his front yard. Maybe it’s not some diversity ploy, I mistook him for the black gentlemen that also happened to be cast as a Norse god.

              That was Elba in Thor, but I don’t think casting him in that movie was a ploy to advance a political agenda of racial egalitarianism (if that’s what you’re saying), so much as it was a ploy to get black people to buy tickets to their movie.

            2. I see, so you’re concerned that Marvel isn’t representing the comic book version of the Norse pantheon, which in their telling is really a technologically advanced alien race who interacted with Earth accurately by using a black actor who happened to be hot in fantasy/action movies at the moment the first movie came out?

    3. He’s too old.

        1. I’m one year and 3 days older than him.

          1. Self hater!!

    4. My only problem with a Black James Bond is that once he becomes Black he’ll be Black forever (just like Nick Fury). Any future filmmaker who wants to make a James Bond film with any other race actor will be excoriated.

      1. So. Bond being black is cultural appropriation?


        1. Good point; I hadn’t thought of that. Why can’t they introduce a Black, Bond-like agent in the next Bond film (Elba would be a good choice) and then give him his own spin-off series of movies?

          1. Well, they already have that character, and his name is Felix, IIRC. Come to think of it, Felix is already black in the reboot movies, isn’t he?

            1. I think you’re right. But isn’t Felix CIA? Part of the allure of James Bond is that he’s a foreign agent with a cool accent.

            2. Felix is white sometimes, black sometimes.

              1. Spy vs. Spy

            3. Didn’t they kill Felix off in Licence to Kill?

              1. His wife was killed I believe but not Felix. And there was for sure a Felix in at least one of the Pierce Brosnan movies.

          2. Separate but equal?

        2. Bond being black is cultural appropriation?


          Bond Name Meaning English: status name for a peasant farmer or husbandman, Middle English bonde (Old English bonda, bunda, reinforced by Old Norse b?ndi). The Old Norse word was also in use as a personal name, and this has given rise to other English and Scandinavian surnames alongside those originating as status names. The status of the peasant farmer fluctuated considerably during the Middle Ages; moreover, the underlying Germanic word is of disputed origin and meaning. Among Germanic peoples who settled to an agricultural life, the term came to signify a farmer holding lands from, and bound by loyalty to, a lord; from this developed the sense of a free landholder as opposed to a serf. In England after the Norman Conquest the word sank in status and became associated with the notion of bound servitude.Swedish: variant of Bonde

            1. Oddly enough, it is alleged that the name “James Bond” was actually taken from an American author of a book on ornithology/bird watching. Fleming kept the book as coffee table fodder, and thought it was such a bland name.. it would be perfect for the name for his character who would be known as 007..

        1. I struggled to avoid that phrase because I didn’t want to distract from what I was trying to say. Guess I failed…

      2. Well that’s more of a case of once they are Samuel L Jackson they are Samuel L Jackson forever. We’re going to be fucked when that guy dies.

        1. Actually, I’m more than OK with this. Samuel L. Jackson makes an infinitely better Nick Fury than David Hasselhoff.

          1. I am sick of these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking Hellicarrier


      3. Because a black James Bond will just blend in when doing recon missions in China, Russia or Dubai.

    5. I like Elba, but he’s no Roger Moore, who was the best Bond.

      1. -1 You are a monster. Connery or Craig or GTFO

        1. Da comrade.

        2. Pierce Brosnan?

          1. There’s one scene that makes me think Brosnan should have been an awesome Bond. It is at the start of World is not enough, when he just had an action scene, jumps out of window, pops a pair of glasses and shuffles off with a bunch of bankers and office workers. The fact that he could make himself part of the crowd in half a second made me go “Wait, Connery or Moore couldn’t do this, but real Bond should be able to look anonymous.”

            1. Pierce Brosnan actually had the Bond “look” better than any other actor, in my opinion. It was a shame all the movies were terrible.

              1. Arguably, best actor of the lot, too, but it’s not a role that requires a lot of nuance. I love me some Connery, but to him every bit of scenery looks like a meal – that’s what made Highlander awesome. Dalton is probably the closest. Craig is a great actor, too, but limited by his looks. Although, now that I say that, I’d watch the shit out of Craig in a screwball comedy.

                1. I’ve always been partial to Brosnan and Moore.

                  And no. I can’t explain it. Which, I guess is what makes the Bond mystique.

                  1. Roger Moore all the way.

              2. Blame the writers and directors for that. Brosnan did the best he could. See The Matador for what Brosnan could’ve done with a decent Bond script.

          2. You mean Remington Steele?

      2. [Checks Slammer for head injuries]

      3. Roger Moore is my Bond – doesn’t matter who the “best” one is.

        1. See? Someone gets it.

        2. On repeated viewings, Moore grew on me. Unfortunately he played it too camp in his later outings. The Spy Who Loved Me is still probably my favorite one.

        3. Yeah, that’s about where I’m at too. He introduced the character to me, so he is Bond to me.

          1. For Your Eyes Only. It is the gold standard. Why?

            (1) Best Bond Song – by far

            (2) Best denouement – by far

            (3) Most topical denouement – by far

            (4) Best opening – by far

            (5) Best libertarian moment and message – scene at the top of the monastery of the holy trinity where Bond says to Gen. Gogol (Walter Gotell) after throwing the computer with the weapons system program down the mountain, “That’s d?tente comrade, you don’t have it, I don’t have it.”

            1. Octopussy has long been my favorite – if only because I watched it over and over when we first got cable when I was a kid.

              1. Second best Bond song – All Time High.

                Probably my second favorite. Vijay Amritraj is featured in Octopussy. I saw him win the singles at the very first Hall of Fame championship at Newport in 1976.

                1. Vijay Amritraj is featured in Octopussy.

                  I was so sad when they murdered him 🙁

                  1. I love that there was an actor named Vijay-jay in a movie called Octopussy.

              2. Octopussy was fun but silly. Would have been a lot better if they played the material straight.

    6. I just did an honest to god spit take, bravo Fist, bravo.

    7. Ian Fleming isn’t dead?

      1. Anthony Horowitz has been commissioned to write more Bond books. That’s who this is about. It’s being reported so stupidly.

      2. He can’t be, I heard he was hanging out with Lou Reed just last week.

  3. James Bond author doesn’t like Idris Elba for James Bond.

    I don’t get how Elba is too “street” for James Bond but not too “street” for a Nordic “god” in a comic book movie.

    1. Thor? Odin?

      1. He plays Heimdall in the Thor movies. A little less street than Bond if you ask me.

        1. Ironic too, because in the Eddas, Heimdall is called the “whitest of the gods”.

          Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT folkish in my study of the Aesir, and besides it was a comic book movie and Elba is fucking cool!

    2. They freaked out about a blond Bond.

    3. Possibly the worst casting decision since… I don’t know when. It was pretty bad.

      1. Why? He is large, intimidating and has a deep voice and intense eyes. I think it was an inspired casting decision. What else do you want from the Guardian of Asgard?

  4. I did get a criticism that a lot of Accomplished Female Athletes of Eastern and Central Europe look like models. And I say, yes, Slavic (and Hungarian) women who are hot also make sure to dress up. But, as a fan of girl-next-door look myself, I aim to please.
    Alena Zavarzina is a snowboarder who competes in parallel grand slalom. She won Bronze at Sochi, World Championship gold in 2011, and silver this year. Her husband is an American snowboarder who competed for Russia in Sochi. winning two gold medals himself.

    1. And to think some of the commenters here think there is no G-d.

      1. I know, right? I can’t blame the husband – I’d move to Russia if I had to, as well!

  5. Marco Rubio Loves Sugar Subsidies

    Jesus, is thing dope wrong on every issue? I once thought he seemed ok, but the more he talks the more I despise him.

    1. Jeb’s the least objectionable Presidential candidate out of the state of Florida, by far. That says something. It doesn’t say anything good, but it’s something.

      1. I suppose we should expect as much from America’s ‘dong.’ Apologies to Florida Man…

        1. What America needs is a real Florida Man as a candidate. Only He can stop the Trump!

    2. Look, we need to subsidize Florida farmers so that poor Mexicans will have no choice but to come to America illegally. It’s not that hard to understand.

      1. Yeah! And plus, we gotta protect our agriculture and sugarcane farmers because soon the Cubans will be flooding the market with cheap sugar!!1

    3. He’s a Republican, and he’s from Florida. So, yes.

  6. US car sales crush expectations in August.

    August car sales were huge.

    According to Autodata, auto sales in August hit an annualized pace of 17.81 million units, way above the 17.3 million that had been expected by economists.

    Data from Wards indicated that US sales came in at a pace of 17.72 million.

    This was the best number in 10 years…..NlYwNzcg–

    1. Five percent is nice, and will probably pay good dividends to stock holders. It’s not really open new factories money, though. Wonder what car caused the uptick, or if its just general bad year for car owners.

      1. Or, what’s the replacement cycle? Maybe ’08-’09 caused the replacement cycle to extend and now its getting back to normal? Regardless, one month is meaningless.

        1. Oh, fuck no. “Length of used car ownership” is at an all time high – right around 11 years. So it’s not lease replacements driving this. it’s people FINALLY replacing their ’03/’04 Impreza or Taurus or Cavalier.

          1. Well, ok then.

            1. Anyone interested in an excellent condition 2009 Infiniti M35 with only 85K miles? I’ve been trying to sell it for months and am even offering well below Blue Book price, with nary a nibble. Perhaps all the people buying new cars is hurting the late-model used luxury car market?

              1. Can I make numerous easy monthly payments of $30?


      Buy here, pay here at franchised new car dealers

      96 month loan at 20% on Korean plastic

      1. “What bubble?”

        – central bank clowns

    3. In other news, GM and Ford are trading near 52-week lows.

      August was worst month for the Dow in 17 years, and September doesn’t look so good either.

      1. That’s only because Republicans continue to exist. Resolve this problem and we’ll have utopia.

        1. Not just utopia, Income E-quality!

  7. Boston wants to ban toy guns from public spaces. Kids play with them, cops shoot the kids, etc.

    In fairness, we gave the “expect police to exhibit basic competence at their jobs” thing and it didn’t pan out.

    1. If they really want to reduce police shootings they should give toy guns to the police.

    2. They should really ban toy pressure cookers.

    3. We could give kids real guns

    4. Give them some room. They did not even start trying to racially desegregate their government schools until 1975.

  8. …a woman was convicted for standing too close to a police officer.

    He feared for his eventual safety.

    1. Funny how a band called The Police once had a song “Don’t Stand Too Close To Me”

  9. Fuck the government.

    Fuck the government.





    the government

    1. +1

      C..I…L m’landlord!

      1. Hello, children! Welcome to Mister Robert’s neighborhood! The word for today is “ransom”. Can you use that in a sentence? Like, “He went outside and ransom dog out the yard…”


          1. Jesus Christ – I’m SO sorry I didn’t turn on my PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY FOR THIS EPISODE, ALSO, WHICH I ALSO HAVE NOT SEEN IN YEARS!!!!

            You ask too much!

  10. McDonald’s will be offer all day breakfast beginning in October.

    1. It’s not going to save them. They should follow my advice and put bacon on everything.

      1. Mmmm – Bacon Fish Filet?

        1. Bacon Jalapeno McDouble. I had them make me one yesterday.

          You’re welcome.

          1. I eat at McDonalds approaching….never. So no thanks.

      2. And fries. Fries on everything.

        1. They do get those right. Definitely.

        2. The Big Mac was invented in Pittsburgh, so it’s a good match.

          1. I KNEW it seemed like a Yinzer burger!

      3. They also announced they are replacing margarine with butter on their biscuit and muffin sandwiches?

        1. They fixed that problem a couple of years ago.

    2. It’s about time. I was always flabbergasted that they hadn’t started this, oh 35 years ago.

      Now I can get my McGriddle fix any time.

      1. It was only a matter of time before the best meal became the only meal.

        1. Yes, way too many years too late. I can remember several occasions through the years arguing with McClerks because I was jonesing for a Egg McMuffin at 10:32AM, and dammit all they had was burgers. Who the F wants a burger and fries mid-morning? At least back in those days they could have let it go until 11am.

          So yes, happy they’ve finally made the move. The steak and egg bagel is actually not too bad and gives a nice protein fix

    3. The one I used to go to, until last weekend, could not get the Egg McMuffin (#1 on the menu) meal right on a Sunday morning.

    4. The one I used to go to, until last weekend, could not get the Egg McMuffin (#1 on the menu) meal right on a Sunday morning.

  11. Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka arrested on murder charges

    “Stationary object” must mean folding chair?

  12. Always relevant to the news, even when he’s not in it.

    Robby is doing a great job of making the links great again.

    1. All hail Rico!!

      1. Rico and Anna will make purty babies together.

        1. Careful, CJ might get jealous. Besides, he didn’t go to you-know-which-school so she won’t give him the time of day.

      2. You mean Robert?

        1. No – I mean Rico. Swah Vay. Rrrrrrrrrrico. Swaaaaaaaaahhhhhhvay.

          *starts gridning hips*

  13. Boston wants to ban toy guns from public spaces. Kids play with them, cops shoot the kids, etc.

    And obviously it can’t be the public servant who changes.

    1. Ban furtive movements, waistbands, and finger pointing while you’re at it.

      1. Immediately regulate for averted eyes too!

        1. Then staring down must go too.

    1. /WIPES TEAR.

      So happy a Canadian is behind this fiasco.

      /begins to cry.

      1. How long before progs go bananas over this gotcha video?

        NO FAIR! No fair you caught us breaking the law using such techniques. NO FAIR!

      2. *stands, starts singing Oh, Canada*

  14. TORONTO (AP) ? Prime Minister Stephen Harper, campaigning for a fourth term on a record of economic growth, has refused to recognize that Canada is in a recession, despite new data to the contrary.

    Collapsing prices for oil ? a major export ? have taken their toll on Canada’s economy, which has recorded its second consecutive negative quarter, the economic benchmark of a recession. It contracted at an annual pace of 0.5 percent in the second quarter and 0.8 percent in the first quarter of 2015, Statistics Canada reported Tuesday.…..NlYwNzcg–

    1. Canada is teetering, yes, but he’s been in there so long it really isn’t surprising. Stay in power and you’re bound to see a few cycles. That being said, collapsing oil prices are hardly his fault. The Cons. spending, however, well that I don’t like.

      1. I wonder how the cryptosocialist NDP is going to manage affairs in Alberta with lower oil and gas revenues.

  15. Iran deal close to passing.

    With the grace of a kidney stone, no doubt.

  16. James Bond author doesn’t like Idris Elba for James Bond.

    “You know the difference between me and you? I bleed red and you bleed green. I look at you these days, String, you know what I see? I see a man without a country. Not hard enough for this right here and maybe, just maybe, not smart enough for them out there.” – Avon Barksdale

  17. Iran deal close to passing.

    It’ll never look white to me.

  18. If Kim Davis is truly a Christian, she should not be slaving for Caesar in the first place.

    However, from a gum up the works anarcho-free enterprise-individualist perspective, why urge her ouster? Better that no marriage permission slips be issued.


    “I literally have had women come in and they’ll go in the O.R. and they’re back out in three minutes, and I’m going, ‘What’s going on?’ Oh yeah, the fetus was already in the vaginal canal whenever we put her in the stirrups, it just fell out,” she explains of situations where there has been a great enough degree of cervical dilation to procure an intact fetus.

    “It just fell out”. That is what the rest of the world calls being born. Apparently the magic trip down the birth canal isn’t even good enough to make you are real human being anymore.

    1. I really don’t even want to click on that link. That quote is disturbing enough.

      Please don’t tell me they are killing babies that have actually been born.

      1. That is what they are doing. How anyone can defend these people is fucking beyond me.

        1. What kind of a human being is capable of doing that? Did they start off capable of doing it or are they that desensitized?

          1. Did you see my reply in the other thread about feeling free to hit me up when you’re in Mtl?

          2. Kermit Gosnell?

          3. Maybe making decisions based on what produces visceral disgust in our guts is not the way to go. Civilized society can’t survive that kind of emotionalism.

            1. Civilized society currently agrees that once you come out the birth canal you are a fucking human.

    2. Not that I’m defending these modern-day Baal cultists, but legally speaking doesn’t the child have to take unassisted breaths to be considered alive, and thus legitimate murder if it doesn’t survive? I think this is why that psycho who cut out the woman’s baby in Colorado is only being charged with unlawful termination of a pregnancy, not murder, since the autopsy determined the baby hadn’t taken any actual breaths before it died.

    3. I am a bit skeptical of this. Giving birth is pretty horrible and painful so I kind of doubt someone would waltz into an abortion on a birth-pang-induced whim.

      1. Why would this woman lie about it? What purpose does it serve? The woman at PP said it. I see no reason not to believe her.

        You are one of the bigger leftists on here so I am sure it pains you to have to say something bad about planned parenthood. So it is no surprise you are “skeptical.”

        1. “Why would this woman lie about it? What purpose does it serve? The woman at PP said it. I see no reason not to believe her.”

          Ah yes, and we have no reason to disbelieve mattress girl either.

          “You are one of the bigger leftists on here ”

          BAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh John. Always so stupid.

      2. Going through birthing classes right now so had the chance to ask this very question to a couple of labor and delivery nurses.

        Per them birth is often a multi-hour experience with lots and lots of discomfort and pain for the mother. However, every so often, a woman will come into the birthing unit having barely begun labor, and in 30 minutes to an hour go from “Maybe I should go to the hospital, this feels a little wierd” to “here’s your son!” It doesn’t happen very often, but when you’re a hospital cycling through bunches of patients a day you will see such events.

        It is entirely possible, probably probable, that an abortion clinic killed a baby born vaginally instead of aborting a fetus.

  20. Deceptive temperature record claims
    …But government spokespeople rarely mention the inconvenient fact that these records are being set by less than the uncertainty in the statistics. NOAA claims an uncertainty of 14 one-hundredths of a degree in its temperature averages, or near twice the amount by which they say the record was set. NASA says that their data is typically accurate to one tenth of a degree, five times the amount by which their new record was set.

    So, the new temperature records are meaningless. Neither agency knows whether a record was set.

    Such misrepresentations are now commonplace in NOAA and NASA announcements. They are regularly proclaiming monthly and yearly records set by less than the uncertainties in the measurements. Scientists within the agencies know that this is dishonest.

    1. But “statistically insignificant” won’t scare anyone. Its a noble lie Johnny. A noble lie.

    2. What does Bea Arthur’s ghost have to say about all this?

  21. “It just fell out”.


    1. Yeah, you are every bit the sick fuck everyone thinks you are. I have no doubt you find the idea of dead babies funny as hell. How could you not? It is who you are.

      1. What’s the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?

        1. I think the question is supposed to be, “What’s easier to unload, a truck full of bowling balls or a truck full of dead babies?” Unless you’re thinking of a different joke altogether…

          1. I think you just shift the punchline somewhat, no?

            What’s the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of dead babies?

            You can’t use a pitchfork to unload a truck full of bowling balls.

            1. Jesse got it right.
              In Antilles’ version, you’re giving away the punchline in the setup line.

  22. James Bond author doesn’t like Idris Elba for James Bond.


  23. The Golden Girls Had Sex With So Many Golden Boys
    Sophia got hot and heavy with 25.
    Rose made sweet, sweet love to 30.
    Blanche drowned in ecstasy with 165.
    Dorothy got busy with 43.

    1. *jacks furiously*

    1. But gender is a state of mind. There is no such thing as a “trans man”. That was a woman baby.

      1. Trans men are people who are currently men but were assigned female at birth. That’s how the terminology works.

        1. If they “were assigned female at birth”, then they are female. If they are not, then the “assignment” doesn’t mean anything. Either your gender is determined by your chromosomes or by your “assignment’ whatever the fuck that is. If you want to claim it is the latter, fine, but don’t tell me you are whatever you genes are because you are not. it is one or the other.

          Do you realize how stupid and insane this is Nikki? It is a fucking man. No one is assigned shit at birth other than their genes. You are not a stupid person. How in the world can you buy into this bullshit?

          1. I don’t give a fuck what people call themselves. I’m telling you that if you want to make jokes based on what I know is your stance on the issue, you would be calling this person a “man,” not a “woman.”

          2. No one is assigned shit at birth other than their genes.

            This, however, is simply not true. Doctors don’t do a genetic workup on every baby; they eyeball the genitalia. Which is sometimes ambiguous. And yes, sometimes doctors do assign the gender that does not correspond to what the genes turn out to be.

            1. Perhaps, although my understanding is that this is changing. But are you going to tell me that a majority of people who identify as “trans” are victims of a doctor physically assigning the wrong sex at birth based on ambiguous genitalia? I would have to some statistics.

              Mind you, if someone makes a choice to change their sex, that is their right. But isn’t is just possible that for a number of people who identify as trans, they may have psychological issues that could use therapy? I really am not trying to argue.
              BTW: I have NO religious objections to this. I am just trying to understand this to the best of my ability.

              1. But isn’t is just possible that for a number of people who identify as trans, they may have psychological issues that could use therapy?

                I’ll start with a disclaimer that I am no expert on this, but from the research I’ve done into the issue and from talking to people who are experts, I can explain this much:

                People don’t just show up at a clinic somewhere and say “I’d like one sex change, please.” (unless that clinic is in Thailand). Candidates for reassignment surgery are typically required to undergo thorough psychological evaluations and to have lived as their preferred gender for a year or so. This is precisely to weed out self-mutilators and those with other underlying psychological issues from the genuinely gender-dysphoric.

                As recent cases like Rachel Dolezal show, there are certainly people who would happily claim to belong to some under-privileged group due to a guilt complex or desire for “victim cred”. This would of course be even easier to fake with something like gender identity than it would be with race, but I think trying to ascertain just how many people are “faking it” would be a futile exercise. But I have to imagine that most of those willing to take the extreme measures of taking hormones and transitioning, thus opening themselves to all sorts of alienation/harrasment/whathaveyou, are probably the real deal.

                1. These folks can identify however they desire….just don’t make the taxpayer pick up the tab. Pay for whatever you decide, no skin off my ass, but when you want me to pay for it piss off.

              2. “But isn’t is just possible that for a number of people who identify as trans, they may have psychological issues that could use therapy?”

                Yes Bear, this is absolutely possible and there are a couple of systems in place to deal with the different ways those issues may have come up. Sometimes the mental and emotional trauma were inflicted by persecution. Judgement such as John’s towards a trans child for instance.

                Most US health care systems that provide care for trans people follow WPATH standards which dictate numerous checks and exams with different specialties to eliminate the ‘wannabes’ and those with other issues. The other issues must be dealt with before medical (hormones or surgery) can be approved. The path through medical transition is arduous with many official and psychological gates and checkboxes.

                1. But how bad they want it has fuck all to do with their sanity. If somebody says they’re Napoleon, and they say back in a year and if you still think theyre Napoleon it doesn’t prove they’re Napoleon.

                2. So you seem to believe that we should be responsible for someone with a “conflicted identity”?.

                  No one gives a shit about protocols, we just don’t want to pay for other people venturing into deciding what they are at a point in time. It’s pretty simple. If you do it with your money, go for it.

                  With my money I’ll call bullshit.

              3. But isn’t is just possible that for a number of people who identify as trans, they may have psychological issues that could use therapy?

                People used to think gays could be cured with a little therapy.

                I’m not going to pretend I fully understand what’s going on in the heads of trannies.

          3. Hey John, resident tranny here.

            I am quite impressed by your willful ignorance on this topic! It must take an incredible strength of will to maintain an erroneous position in the face of rapidly increasing data on the many facets of human experience. Your intentional insults and vulgarities against the very people and language used to discuss the topic makes it clear that there is a foundational flaw in you that seems to allow you to incorporate so much misguided hate into false and disproven arguments. Your vitriol against a group of people that will likely have little to no actual impact on your life is truly astonishing to me.

            Could you please take a deep breath and explain rationally to me how my very existence is a threat to you?

            Ah, never mind. I ‘ve been here long enough to know you can’t do it.

            1. John and his fellow mouth-breathers love to hurl out terms they don’t understand like ‘chromosomes’ and ‘genetics’. You know nothing John Snow.

              1. Speaking of Snow, how about Tony?

            2. I also don’t understand why conservatives are obsessed with yelling about genetics when it comes to trans people. I’ve never heard a trans person argue they are genetically the gender they’re transitioning to. A trans man, for example, is well aware that he was born with two X chromosomes and conservatives aren’t telling him anything he doesn’t already know when they scream about that.

              1. A frantic strawman, just as the whole bathroom bill fiasco playing out in multiple states. I especially like that ass in the Dakotas pushing for genitalia checks in schools. Fucking idiot. Why so interested in what’s in the kids’ pants?

              2. There’s also people with sex-chromosome aneuploidies ex Klinefelter males, metafemales, etc. Are they unpersons?

                1. IF ONLY!!111!


                2. There ARE people with……

              3. I am sorry for your condition. You should get help. I however and not indulging you bullshit fantasies. Sorry but you ar delusional.

                1. It’s okay John. That’s about all I expected from you anyway.

            3. I for one are fine with however you choose to define yourself, it’s none of my business.

              As long as you deal with it with your own coin, no problem. It seems you want to join the outrage industry that should buy you special treatment. Not buying it, just like with rest of the SJW crew.

              It’s as simple as that I’m not responsible for paying your freight. If that makes you butt hurt, get over it.

  24. A+ on the Trump-trolling today, Robby. Alt-text and everything. Well done.

  25. Here’s to the PM links hopefully not sucking today! There’s been some massive PM links suckage over the past few weeks/months. Remember these few tips to make the PM links less sucky:

    1) Every time you respond to a troll, an angel gets its wings
    torturously pulled off by a giant cosmic cat.

    2) We learn more about you than the people you insult when you ad-hom a legitimate discussion.

    3) Always give us a money quote with your link! Nobody wants to give web traffic to Salon, Slate, or Gawker.

    4) Shreek is the only pure libertarian here, so give a brother a break if he professes an illibertarian view.

    5) There are no libertarian women, so anybody who pretends to be so is obviously a sockpuppet… probably of SugarFree


    6) We’re all some fever-induced morality play in Epi’s head. The more intelligent we act, the less lithium they inject into Epi.

    1. 1. Who says anyone likes angels?

      2. Yes, that is the idea.

      3. That is a good suggestion.

      4. Shreek is a capitalism loving classical liberal. Get you terms right.

      5. Gender is a state of mind, so when Sugar Free thinks he is a woman, there are libertarian women.

      6. Episiarch has no morality and thus could never have a morality play in his head fever induced or otherwise.

      1. 1. I’m against lists
        2. Lists are evil
        3. I refuse to engage in listing
        4. Lists make comments sections suck
        5. Lists are for trolls

        1. Does “Spot the Not” qualify as a list?

        2. 1. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.
          2) *steps on Almanian’s sunglasses*
          3] Lists are the best because they keep things organized
          d. Nobody doesn’t like
          – lists because lists are awesome
          Comment sections suck because
          there are not enough lists in them

          1. Seems like this comments section has

            [dons Fist’s sunglasses]

            started to list

            1. +1 port

    2. If you want I can pretend to be the libertarian woman around here.

      If you want of course.

      1. Do you….do you like…..photgraphy? CANdid photography?

        I’ll be he does! I’ll bet he does!

        Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!

      2. Hey darling, can you get a taste of your cherry pie?

        1. Which I’m sure is both hot and moist. But hopefully not flaky!

          1. Not a crust person, huh?

    3. 1) Every time you respond to a troll, an angel gets its wings
      torturously pulled off by a giant cosmic cat.

      Agile Cyborg is a cat?

      1. No, AC is a transient space penis in need of some intergalactic loving.

      2. I think AC is the idea of a cat wrapped in the chimera of his own cum and vaginal secretions of his mensa with waaaaaaaves of oceans seeking the shore of his consciousness.

        Or he’s a cat.

      3. Wasn’t Suki a cat?

        1. Suki’s dead, man. Suki’s dead.

          1. What happened? Hit by a car? Old age? Choke barfing up a hairball?

            1. Fucked with Lou Reed. He don’t take no shit.

              1. This

                Lou went all Buzz Aldrin on her and fucked her up good.

  26. Catfishing for kittens.

    Something adorable for the PM Links.

    1. I love that one. “Never in my life have I ever seen such a thing.”

    2. Adorable.

    3. Better than with, I suppose.

    4. Damn, those cats are good swimmers. Also, they now have a good home.

      1. Right? I’m so used to seeing cats freak out when they’re near water, I wasn’t expecting them to haul ass like that.

    5. Oh man, I’m not a cat person, but seeing that I’d be adopting them on the spot.

    6. A great antidote for the nut-punches.

    1. If they repent, sure. That is what priests do. i guess the question is do priests pardon women who have murdered their kids. Not being a Catholic I have no idea if they do.

      1. I’m pretty sure priests are required to pardon repentant sinners regardless of their sins, and that this extended to abortion even before Pope Frances addressed it today.

        1. I understood from a report this AM that this allowed ANY priest to pardon women, whereas before only certain priests could do it within a given part of the organization. But that was the news, so who knows if they just made that up or got it right from the Pope or what.

          1. PS Specifically regarding teh aborshun – cause it’s so wicked that it previously required special people to pardon it, or something. Not RC, so don’t know their rules.

      2. Of course, this is all consistent with the MSM’s long established habit taking the Pope’s statements of what has always been Catholic practice and treating them as though it’s some crazy break from the before time.

    2. So Le Pope is following Florida Man’s plan:

      Abortions for some, tiny American flags for others.

      God bless Florida Man AND the Pope.


  27. OK, so time to fess up: who’s responsible for the artificial “intelligence” program designed to spew xenophobic nonsense going by the name “jrom”?

    A few pointers to improve your algorithm:

    1. Overuse of ending posts with words like “dawg” and “homes” makes its speech sound artificial; this is an especially big giveaway since it uses them repeatedly while lecturing people on the importance of speaking English

    2. The punctuation subroutines seem to be broken, as it’s incapable of finishing most thoughts without an exclamation point

    3. It’s too easy to back it into a loop where it responds to everything with, “No, it is you who are wrong!” While this makes sense from a programming standpoint as a fail safe, to make it seem more like engaging with an actual no-nothing idiot, I’d suggest having it default in these situations to either making churlish insults about the other person’s mother, or have it simply write a post categorically declaring itself the winner and claiming it has no time to deal with these lesser intellects (this is also known as the “Cytotoxic maneuver”.

    Overall, good job: it’s almost like actually talking to a statist conservative troll!

    1. I dunno. I went and read the conversation. B- at best; needs improvement.

    2. Hey, I only pull that maneuver because it’s true. It won’t work for jrom because it isn’t true.


  28. China and Russia are using hacked data to target U.S. spies, officials say

    Foreign spy services, especially in China and Russia, are aggressively aggregating and cross-indexing hacked U.S. computer databases ? including security clearance applications, airline records and medical insurance forms ? to identify U.S. intelligence officers and agents, U.S. officials said.

    America! Healing the Sino-Soviet split since whenever!

    1. Wow – so, all the spy movies were RIGHT!

    2. Speaking of that, I’d still really would like to know more about the 2nd chemical plant explosion in China, but, hey, someone killed a cop.

      1. I thought it was 3 now?

        1. Indeed…but they haven’t even gotten around to telling us about the 2nd!

    3. This is Snowden’s fault, right?

    4. Don’t worry, one day their hate for each other will outweigh their concern about us, again.

      1. Don’t they still have unresolved border issues? The second somebody discovers something valuable under the disputed lands, it’ll be epic!!!

        1. They do. Also, China has a surplus of male population, and a failing economy with large industrial base. Russia has a deficit of male population, and a failing economy with declined industrial base. If things go bad, China will soon be in position of 1938 Chinese High Command – do we strike southwest or north? I don’t think Russians have a Zhukov up their sleeve this time, though.

          1. The Chinese are no better. They are fucking military incompetents. A Sino Russian war would be a bloodbath of killing, brutality and incompetence.

            1. Mongolia: the only nation created by incompetence.

    5. Because I’m sure that spies don’t have aliases or anything…

  29. Blonde Bond is a crime against human decency and now they want a black guy in his 40’s. Did they not notice how awkward A View to a Kill was with old, wrinkly Bond and Moneypenny?

    Connery is the best Bond. The only other acceptable answer is Lazenby, for the lulz. Acceptable as “favorites though objectively lesser humans”: Moore and Brosnan.

    1. Come on, Craig wasn’t that bad. He brought a little dark side to it.

      1. His acting is fine. His hair is an unforgivable sin.

      2. Craig would be best bond if the last two films hadn’t sucked.

        1. QoS was awful. Skyfall was mediocre. Both big let downs after Casino Royale, which I really enjoyed.

          1. Ugh SkyFall. They had some good ideas, particularly in the villain and the actor that played him. Cyber-hacking or whatever is always TERRIBLE for these movies.

    2. I’ve never understood why Timothy Dalton doesn’t get more credit.

      1. Because he’s a dick.

  30. Good job Robbo, you get an extra allotment of “Bed Head Hair Gel” in your Reason rations this month.


    Interesting new study on the differences between male and female brains. Now, if it is the case that people who claim to be the opposite gender have brains that are shown to be like or more like the opposite gender, I would buy the idea that there is such a thing as a “transgender” and the whole thing isn’t just an extreme form of neurosis. If not and it turns out that their brains look and function just like the sex that they appear to be, then I think you have to give up on the idea of there being any such thing.

      1. Blanchard has been discredited for years.

        1. According to Wikipedia, I’d say Blanchard was controversial, but not “discredited.”

    1. “Testosterone changes the brain” – IOW, it gives you reason and allows you to think rationally instead of emotionally all of the time.

      It also must make you remember that you forgave someone for something and don’t constantly harp over them about it years after the fact

      1. This just in, Hatfields and McCoys a bunch of soy-drinking lady-brains.

      2. Are you sure? Because…it doesn’t seem like you’re done harping on…something.

          1. +1 enema bucket

            I thought I was the only fan of h3h3 who posted here… Although it seems natural that the lunatics from this place and the lunatics from that channel would overlap.

      3. It apparently also causes sexist, misogynistic behavior in some humans.

    2. But I thought gender was a social construct. How is it that Slate would publish something that is not politically correct?

    3. I have no problem with being a lesbian

  32. Okay, let’s say “food security” is a valid argument for tariffs or subsidies or whatever. But using sugar as the line in the sand? Come effin’ on. The second Brazil decides to start the First Great Sugar War with us, I’m sure we’ll be able to find land somewhere in this enormous country of ours to grow canes or sugar beets. And it’ll probably do all of us some good to not eat as much of the stuff in the meantime.

    1. It is fucking ridiculous. The sugar growers in Florida must have the best hookers and the best drugs in the entire known universe. There has literally never been a politician from Florida of any persuasion who was immune to their charms.

      1. Did like that Jimmy Smits show Cane. I might have been the only one.

    2. And it’ll probably do all of us some good to not eat as much of the stuff in the meantime.

      Yeah. But Americone Dream is really delicious.

    3. They can fight politics, but they can’t fight technology. They will be obsolete someday soonish.

      Harlem Biotech Startup Hacks Lettuce To Make ‘Miracle’ Sugar Substitute…..ubstitute/

      1. Can’t be long before Bloomberg shuts this down.

    4. If Congress lifted all duties and subsidies on sugar and derivatives, it would have a huge impact on farmers in the US. Of course, the US cane sugar crop is not all that significant. But the effect on ethanol derived from corn would be enormous. Of course, the effect of free trade would also be good for taxpayers and good for the environment and good for poor people around the world. But they don’t determine the Iowa primaries. Rubio knows this fact.

      1. Cruz, to his credit, has been speaking out against ethanol subsidies.

        1. This is another example of the lucid commentary of which I would like to see more from you.

    5. Hell, we have a whole town 10 miles over that literally made its name growing sugar beets before its proximity to Houston turned it into a suburb.

      1. Imperial Sugar grew sugar cane in Sugar Land.

  33. Tommy Mulcair: right-wing sleeper agent?

    “Mulcair praised the way Margaret Thatcher’s laissez-faire approach saved Great Britain, saying the same was needed to combat big government in Quebec. ”

    “Last Tuesday, another video from 2001 was uncovered by Le Devoir in which the leader of the party that introduced us to nationalized health care said that a Liberal Quebec government would make more room for the free market and corporations in the health sector, reducing people’s taxes. He preferred the invisible hand to “bureaucrats who have never touched [this issue] in their lives.”

    Not saying you should vote for him (although I would vote for Mulcair before Harper), but he might not be as scary as he seems.…..t-a-relief

    1. She gave no further hint as to what “forces” she was referring to.

      Of course not. That was classified, DUH!

    2. It goes without saying that it was the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, no?

  34. Did the HnR commentariat have its fantasy football draft yet?

    1. I chose Pikachu.

    2. They voted against conscription.

    3. I chose Omniknight.

    4. From what I understand, a large portion of the commentariat is against that faggoty fantasy stuff.

    5. No, it’s this weekend, probably.

    6. D&D for jocks?

  35. I think the next movie about Hitler should star Idris Elba in the eponymous role.

  36. Free market Socialism by any other name…

    A choice between an “irresponsible capitalism” which sees huge gaps between the richest and the poorest, power concentrated in a few hands, and people are just in it for the fast buck whatever the consequences.

    And a “responsible capitalism”, and this is an agenda being led by business, where companies pursues profit but we also have a equal society, power is in the hands of the many and where we recognise our responsibilities to each other.

    And my case is a “responsible capitalism” isn’t only fairer but we’re more likely to succeed as a country with it.

    1. Yes, because nothing says propserity like Mussolini’s economic program.

      Christ on a crutch, these people are unbearably ignorant.

    2. How high do you have to be to believe this crap?

    3. Fuck off, you limey twat. Google is an American company and there’s no reason you deserve a slice of its earnings .. OR have the right to even access its products and services! Perhaps Google should ban UK IP addresses and let the voters decide how much “social responsibility” they’d prefer you try and enforce.

      1. Google should ban UK IP addresses

        You heard it here first, GILMORE wants to restrict the free expression of United Kingdom Independence Party supporters. Is clearly a secret progressive.

        1. He really is, you know

          1. I KNOW it. I mean we were all granted secret-motivations-progressive-hunting powers sometime in the past few months right?

            They’ve been popping up all over the board and I think mine have finally manifested.


          British Statists want to state, they’re free to Socially Responsible themselves as much as they want

          but there’s no reason a company should do businesses with them if they don’t think their business should be perpetually strongarmed into compliance.

          I know they knuckled under in China (didn’t they?)… but there have been other companies who’ve chosen to ‘opt out’ of certain markets when the regulatory powers have gotten too uppity.

          1. I know they knuckled under in China (didn’t they?)

            I remember the China thing going down, but I don’t remember exactly what ended up happening. I think they were attempting to stay in the market but shuttered their in-country offices or something…

            Ok a little searching later: Google was self-censoring until China started trying to hack them, then they told them to fuck off, rerouted all of their searches through HK and shuttered their offices.

            1. I remember that. That was awesome. I hope we start to see more example of Big Corporations giving the middle finger to governments, and even taking some power for themselves.

            2. “they told them to fuck off, rerouted all of their searches through HK and shuttered their offices”

              There you go! See what i mean. Fuck the british version of “good-for-you communism”

      2. New idea for Trump: Every 4th of July of his term becomes a Day Without America. US suspends its membership in all organizations, shuts down all the internet connections to the other countries, stops all the international flights and stands down its military abroad, except for base security.

    4. Basically what he’s saying in politician speak is, “BUY ME OFF AND I’LL TRY AND MAKE SURE WE GO EASY ON YOU”

      fucking parasites.

    5. Jesus Christ.

      They get to define what ‘responsible’ entails, right?

    1. I took my kids to the zoo a couple weeks ago, my son (15 years old) was constantly trying to figure out how to get the animals to fight. He decided that when he gets a bit older he’ll become dictator of America and open some battle zoos.

      1. “Battle Zoo,” I like it.

      2. Then he could build his own Zoo of Death!

      3. This is what Pokemans do to children minds!

    2. Awesome. Another use for my orphans.

    3. I hear the cops are just using these guys in hopes they’ll roll on the ringleader of their international daycare fighting ring, a man known only as “Rufus”…

      1. Bah, this is way too brutal for a Canadian.

    4. Bring back agoge! And Planned Parenthood can have new federal mandate, examining the newborns to see if they get exposed or not.

  37. I’m sorry, but James Bond is a white English guy, and someone with a certain degree of class and refinement. He’s not black, or Japanese, or gay, or a woman, or obese, or really short, or whatever. Even Daniel Craig is a bit too rough/”street” to be right for the part.

    If you want a black secret agent, write one. Don’t screw with the author’s intent. PC casting, and casting for PC publicity, sucks.

    1. someone with a certain degree of class and refinement

      But only a certain degree, if you go by how Fleming presented him in Casino Royale. Craig’s “Bond as a thug” is a lot closer to the initial concept than Connery in Dr No.

      1. This. If the Fleming novellas are canon, then James Bond was basically a button man employed by the British government. Craig is far and away the most believable Bond in that role, although I still think that Dalton was close.

    2. In a movie adaptation, the author is the screenwriter, and therefore if the screenwriter says James Bond is black, James Bond is black.

      1. But will they be able to return to white actors if it doesn’t work out?

        1. Who cares? “They might get angry about having a white Bond in the future!” isn’t an argument for why we shouldn’t let there be a black Bond now if he’s capable of playing the part.

          1. Once they’ve had black, they’ll never go back.


      2. Also, screenwriters almost never have as much say in a movie adaptation as authors do in a book. Different animals.

        1. that should be *even screenwriters

      3. I think a screenwriter owes a certain amount of respect to the work they are adapting. A screenplay of Huckleberry Finn should not turn him black.

        I will admit that sometimes changing things drastically works out well, e.g. Hildy Johnson in The Front Page (male) and then in His Girl Friday (female). But James Bond is too central and distinct a character to change too drastically without mutilating the character. (By the way, Fleming originally wanted Hoagy Carmichael to play Bond, or at least thought that Hoagy was a good model for Bond.)

    3. I’m sorry, but James Bond is a white English guy

      Huh, someone should have told Ian Fleming that when he wrote him to be Scottish.

      1. He retcon’d Bond to have a Scottish father after the “Dr. No” film came out and audiences loved Connery. Prior to that Flemming was quite clear that Bond was English.

        1. You’re right, I’m just trying to be a tease. Though of course the fact that Fleming himself was comfortable going “eh, why the hell not?” about such aspects of his character undermines the idea that it’s some great slap in the face to the author’s vision for screenwriters to do it.

    4. Being true to the character kind of went out the window when they cast a suave, handsome Scotsman to play the part of a cold, unattractive Englishman.

      1. No TRUE Scotsman would play an Englishman….

        1. There’s no debating that.

      2. I’m not advocating some sort of rigid rule. Of course things get shifted and adapted a bit, but this goes too far, is clearly pandering for publicity in a PC way, and I’d give odds that Fleming would not approve.

        1. I’m not advocating some sort of rigid rule. Of course things get shifted and adapted a bit, but this goes too far, is clearly pandering for publicity in a PC way

          Well, it’s mostly the fans and entertainment commentators who are talking about it, not anybody at MGM, and Elba himself has apparently said he’s not interested, so I’m not sure where you’re getting the pandering from. You can probably dig up some obscure Tumblrina somewhere saying this is a vital fight for social justice, but nearly all of the comments I’ve seen on the topic are not “Elba should be Bond because the advancement of black people everywhere depends on having a black James Bond” and more “Elba should be Bond because he’s such a badass.”

  38. I’m sensing the need for some kind of James Bond purity test.

    Although, shreek would probably win by claiming to be 99% James Bond.

    1. James Bond purity test

      Shriek approves of an 8% solution….

  39. Hit & Run Bingo ,also I could use tech advise, as it says in the post if any of you nerds fine fellows could steer me in the right direction I’d dig it the most.

    1. I can only understand about a dozen of those squares….

      What tech advice do you need?

      1. what programming would I need to learn, so I can have the squares be randomly placed on the board.

        1. I’m no expert, but it sounds like a job for Javascript or HTML5. Google “shuffle images” or something like that.

          This is close, but not quite what you want.

        2. Also, try searching for a bingo card generator.

          1. Steal, errr, I mean reuse, some code!

              1. thanks, only did a quick read but this, as you said, looks promising.

    2. That is fuckin hilarious

      starting from top left… with ?s for unknowns….

      Weed, Mexicans, ass sex, Woodchippers, Ayn Rand (should probably be clarified), Bastiat, Cocktail Parties, Deep Dish Pizza, “TIWTHANLW’?, goalpost moving, highspeed rail, God…scoreboard…thing?, No free lunch, lou reed, the kochtopus, Circular Debate, Cop Shoots Dog, Marx?, Sockpuppet alert, Somalia, Hayek, Sexbot?, Strawman, “Splitting Hairs?”, Nutpunches

      1. “Nutpunches”

        I thought that was a member of team red and team blue fighting.

        1. I did, too.

    3. Some (unsolicited) suggestions:

      A bit thicker lines on the woochipper. I couldn’t see the line on the right side until *GILMORE* pointed out what it was.

      Names on the people! I didn’t recognize any of them until *GILMORE* identified them.

      Unicorn farts!

      1. pppppt, if you don’t know the Hayek mustache by its mere profile you can’t come to the secret libertarian nightclub

        1. If it was Hayek he’d have Lennon specs on. To be fair, that one is the least well done person square but I got antsy and wanted to finish.

          1. same with the “sexbot”, that’s ‘spose to be a paper sack on the robots head, and the “splitting hairs”, yeah, I need to redo that with some more detail.

          2. I am crestfallen and ashamed.

            I demand a proper legend. And no dragons, princesses this time.

            1. I don’t want to just give it away, but the ones you missed…. the highlighted MEN are on top….GOD is ahead 99 to zip and time is up so……see above about the people squares however the last two are libertarians (okay anarchists)…..and also above the robot and “hairs” explanation.


  41. James Bond author

    Oh, like noted Sherlock Holmes author Anal Vanneman?

  42. Sammy DoMeo is not going to liek that dude.

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