Hillary's Classified Email, Duke Freshman Addresses Fun Home Controversy, Illinois Schools Getting Rid of Zero Tolerance: A.M. Links


  • Joe Biden
    Wikimedia Commons

    Hillary Clinton email contained classified material.

  • Duke University freshman who refuses to read Fun Home tells his side of the story in a Washington Post op-ed.
  • What Biden vs. Hillary would look like.
  • Illinois is reforming school "zero tolerance" policies.
  • Uber and Lyft are coming to LAX.
  • Another fraternity was punished for putting up a sexually suggestive sign. I still don't see what the big deal is.
  • Mars colonization project seeks zany billionaire backers.
  • James Holmes' mother on her son's life sentence.

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  1. Mars colonization project seeks zany billionaire backers.

    Get your cash to Mars!

    1. Hello.

      Nothing about Trump’s speech in Iowa?


      1. Security, please have the Canadian spic removed.

        1. He should have built a wall around his podium.

          1. But I provide great entertainment!

            1. Being a Canadian import, you’re actually 15% less entertaining than domestic commentators. Sore-y!

              1. 15%? Is that all?

                GOOD ENOUGH.

    2. Yuri Milner just donated $100 million for SETI. It’s not impossible that someone else might want to fund a Mars mission, though it requires orders of magnitude more than $100 million.pav

      There actually seems to be a growing movement among philanthropists to focus on funding basic research (I guess this would be exploration, but it is similarly curiosity driven). I think that’s a great thing.

      1. We could invest 100 trillion in SETI and it won’t do shit. I don’t remember the name of the book, but the author compiled about 50 responses to the Fermi paradox and the vast majority of them would seem to indicate that the efforts by SETI won’t amount to anything. They either aren’t out there, they are out there but are so far away we won’t detect them, or they don’t want us to find them.

        1. “they are out there but are so far away we won’t detect them”


          They are out there alright, or were, or will be. We are just separated by so much distance, and thus time, that will like very likely never run into them.

          Learn to bend space so that we can safely travel vast distances in zero time and maybe that will change.

        2. We have a much better handle on the number of planets now than we did even 5 years ago thanks to the Kepler mission. Planets are very common. We still don’t have a solid grasp on the number of Earth-like planets, but we are getting there. The fraction of planets with life and the fraction of that life that evolves to become intelligent and capable of communicating are totally unconstrained. We just can’t determine that with a sample size of one. And then there is the question of how long those civilizations try to communicate using methods we can detect.

          The point is, there are too many unknowns to say definitively whether intelligent life is out there, or not abundant enough, or just disinterested. This Breakthrough Listen program is designed to address those questions. If it detects ET that will be incredible. If it doesn’t we’ll know that the current search strategies are pointless. The plan is to observe every nearby star at a wide range of radio frequencies and to do optical SETI. It’s a huge effort. I suspect the chances of detecting something are very low, but it is probably more accurate to say they are poorly constrained. But the reward of a detection is high and you still learn something if you have a nondetection.

          Distance is an issue for travel and two-way contact. It is not necessarily a problem for merely detecting a signal, unless there is no signal to detect at all in our Galaxy.

          1. I don’t make categorical assertions regarding extra-terrestrial life exactly because we have seen precisely 1 planet with life, never mind intelligent life. But I do find the arguments against detecting life out there to be pretty persuasive. After all, the amount of time that a civilization throws out radio waves could turn out to be pretty small. After all, the more sophisticated the tech, the less wastage in signal. Of course optical wavelengths are a different thing, but I should think that any star close to enough to have planets that we could detect technology optically at any point in the not too distant future, say 30 lightyears away, we probably already would have heard from by now. Unless of course they don’t want to communicate.

            My point was that there are many more possibilities in which life isn’t out there now, or doesn’t want to be detected, rather than life out there and just waiting to chat with us.

            1. I mostly agree with this. I’ll be surprised (and ecstatic) if they detect something. But I’m directly benefiting from it and I’m philosophically very happy to see private support for something like this. It’s a good thing.

              On the optical SETI side of things, it is not looking for planets themselves. The speculative idea is that a civilization that wants to communicate could do it with something other than radio, e.g. high power laser that they flash at nearby stars, maybe.

    3. You brought gold? Hell, we’re building houses with it here.

  2. Mars colonization project seeks zany billionaire backers.

    People Are Alike All Over.

  3. The problem with ‘boyfriend’ jeans

    The majority of the patriarchy’s most egregious features have been done away with in the past 50 years. American women can now have credit cards, refuse to sleep with their husbands, and call foul if they get fired for getting pregnant. Though while many of these larger indignities have, thankfully, faded into the past, we still spend our days inundated with smaller ones. Taken individually they are often nothing more than a nuisance. But put them together and they reveal the contradictions and absurdities behind our definition of femininity today.


    Here’s what’s so off about the boyfriendization of women’s clothing: It implies that a woman should only wear baggy clothes after she has secured a mate. Before that we really should be showcasing one’s body in more fitted apparel. This frames getting dressed as something that is done primarily for the male gaze, when most women know that, more often than not, we dress for ourselves and others. They also suggest that a woman should be straight, smaller than men, and young ? older women tend to have husbands, wives, and partners. Imagine trying to explain this label to a first-grader. It’s ridiculous.

    1. They also suggest that a woman should be straight, smaller than men, and young ? older women tend to have husbands, wives, and partners. Imagine trying to explain this label to a first-grader. It’s ridiculous.

      Biology is ridiculous. No wonder STEM are seen as tools of the Patriarchy.

      1. The “smaller than men” part seems a bit odd. Well, the whole thing seems fucking nuts, so buttons.

        1. Teh patriarchy keeps men bigger and stronger.

      2. Biology is a social construct.

      3. Um, I’m pretty sure it’s biology that stops me being young forever.

        1. Too bad you’re not a dolphin; they forever look young.

    2. This is either a satirical article or the dumbest shit ever. Man, Poe’s Law is a bitch.

    3. Refuse to sleep with their husbands? Does she mean like in The Flintstones and Fred and Wilma slept in separate beds or does she mean the other thing (wink)?

      If she means the latter, then they wonder why men (and women) stray.

    4. Snork, yeah I dress exactly the same as I would if I wasn’t trying to be attractive to men. That’s why I own a push up bra, totes not trying to get guys attention. /sarc

      How can these people truly be that dumb?

      1. That’s why I own a push up bra, totes not trying to get guys attention.

        Go on…


        1. Don’t get too excited. It only moves me from A to B.

          1. So it’s the Uber of underwear?

            1. God you guys are slow this morning. Thirty minutes is way to long to make a joke from that comment.

              1. I had to finish male gazing first. Maintaining the patriarchy is a lot of work, you know.

              2. You don’t want to know what the rest of us were doing.

                1. Anyone ever tell you guys that you’re good for a girl’s ego.

          2. But smaller is better.

      2. Do you own a squat bra, trying to get Warty’s attention?

        1. What is a squat bra?

          1. Underwear for Space Dwarves.

          2. I do not think you want to find out.

          3. Do you even squat, bra?

            1. Only when he pees.

    5. the boyfriendization of women’s clothing: It implies that a woman should only wear baggy clothes after she has secured a mate

      If that were the case, then the companies that sell women’s jeans would only sell boyfriend-style jeans, and in fact the boyfriend-style is just a marketing gimmick to get women to buy more jeans to go with their collection of skinny jeans.

      1. Also, Lululemon.

      2. Boyfriend jeans are designed for a particular body type, usually women with wider waists and smaller hips, butts wear boyfriend jeans. Women with smaller waists and rounder asses don’t wear boyfriend jeans. So, boyfriend jean wearing women are kryptonite to HM.

        1. Sure but the idea is they are loose-fitting, right? I mean, it seems there are skinny jeans for every body-type based on what I see in NYC (granted, not necessarily representative), so it really seems like “boyfriend” jeans are really just “looser” fitting jeans without calling them “looser” or “regular” fitting jeans.

          1. I asked my wife about them last weekend because I wasn’t aware of them, and that is exactly what she said. But apparently she has been so brainwashed by the patriarchy that she wasn’t aware of the true meaning.

          2. Stop promoting the Libertarian Female Stereotype – we care about more than how clothes fit!

            /wipes glasses with Atlas Shrugged t-shirt

          3. Sure but the idea is they are loose-fitting, right?

            The idea is that they’re not cut for women. Traditionally, boyfriend jeans are you borrowing your boyfriend’s 501s.

            1. Is there some law against just buying men’s jeans?

              I don’t get it. But then, I only get new clothes when my wife or mother decides I need some. Except socks. I have very high standards for socks.

              1. Female social pressure is generally what inhibits it. The age that most women are capable of fitting boys clothing is also the age they are most trying to fit in with other girls.

                1. Just seems particularly weird today when men and women, at least in casual dress, already largely dress the same. It wasn’t all that long ago that women wearing jeans at all was pretty much cross-dressing.

          4. Not necessarily loose fitting, typical just looser around the waist. They’re called boyfriend because they are shaped more for the male body than the female. Women typically have much smaller waists (duh) so boyfriend jeans gap around the waist.

            1. ….and thus are easier to get my hand into.

      3. If that were the case, then the companies that sell women’s jeans would only sell boyfriend-style jeans

        …no, because you need nonboyfriend jeans before you have a boyfriend.

        I mean, the article may be stupid, but it’s also not this hard to interpret.

        1. I was merely pointing out the absurdity of the argument but whatever. Denim companies sell lots of jeans to women. The denim category has been stagnant lately. Solution – new marketing gimmick – Boyfriend Jeans.

          As you said, stupid and easy.

          1. Calling boyfriend jeans “new” is a bit of a stretch (no pun intended). Old Navy has had boyfriend jeans ever since I can remember. I distinctly remember thinking that it was a strange concept when the men’s section was right across the store.

            Turns out that women’s jeans are much more stretchy than men’s. I wish I could get away with wearing glorified denim long johns every day.

    6. These people put way to much weight on what they perceive other people think they “should” be. I know plenty of women who somehow, miraculously, manage to dress however the fuck they want or as the situation dictates without bringing the rage of the patriarchy down on themselves or being socially ostracized.
      If you really feel like that’s how things work, maybe find some better people to associate with.

      1. Oh, Zeb, how wrong you are.

        Womynz are delicate flowers whose minds are easily hijacked by the patriarchy and the KKKERPERATIONZ. If there weren’t brilliant feminists like the author of that “article,” can you just imagine the oppressive clothing we tyrannical men would be forcing womynz to wear?

        Stop oppressing womynz, Zeb.

        1. You allow your women to wear clothing?!?!

          1. Mine gets to wear a potato sack… but only for formal events. Other than that, she’s completely starkers.

            1. Isn’t she a lawyer? Must make client meetings interesting. Do court appearances count as a formal event?

              1. Of course not, why do you think she’s so successful?

              2. Don’t bring me down your hetero-normative victorian views.

          2. Only when dressing them all fancy-like and parading them around to impress my fellow male-oppressors! Go Team Patriarchy!

          3. +1 space Jew

    7. The “boyfriend” label is just that, a label to denote a different type of fit. It doesn’t mean only girls with boyfriends should wear those types of clothes. In fact, if you already have a boyfriend, why do you need to buy boyfriend-style clothes? Just wear your boyfriend’s stuff.

      1. if you already have a boyfriend, why do you need to buy boyfriend-style clothes? Just wear your boyfriend’s stuff.


      2. If you already have a boyfriend, you should only wear what he tells you!!!

        1. And make him a sammich!

      3. In fact, if you already have a boyfriend, why do you need to buy boyfriend-style clothes? Just wear your boyfriend’s stuff.

        That is the original “boyfriend jean.” Marketing means now there are boyfriend jeans sold to women.

        So it did, in fact, originally denote something you only wore if you already had a boyfriend. And you wouldn’t wear it before you had a boyfriend, because you’d need to get the boyfriend.

        The article is advocating for your position: not caring, and just wearing boyfriend jeans whenever.

        1. The article is some dumbass feminist (sorry for repeating myself) complaining about shit that doesn’t fucking matter because modern day feminism is a shit ideology that has to make up enemies to fight.

          What they should really do is jump off a fucking cliff.

    8. Jesus H. Christ on a popsicle stick. Of course girls dress to attract boys. And men do the same thing to get women. Fucking SJW bullshit. IT IS ALL ABOUT GETTING LAID! Whats the problem? Don’t lesbians want to get laid too?

      1. No, SJWs are all leaders in the Junior Anti-Sex League

        1. You know who else organized a youth league…?

          1. Lord Baden Powell?

          2. Professor Charles Xavier?

      2. They also dress to establish themselves in as high as possible in the pecking order for child rearing. They don’t just want a man that can provide them and their offspring with every possible advantage, they want to have higher status among women to have them help raise thier offspring.

    9. “The majority of the patriarchy’s most egregious features have been done away with in the past 50 years. ”

      But y ou are going to just keep bitching and bitching and bitching until the end of time, aren’t you?

      1. Aaaand one of the egregious features are back :p

  4. Another fraternity was punished for putting up a sexually suggestive sign. I still don’t see what the big deal is.

    You don’t see what the big deal is? Public universities censoring students and violating free speech and you don’t see what the big deal is??????




    1. That sign was the equivalent of a violent rape, and the First Amendment doesn’t protect rape, you cis shitlord!!!11!!!

      1. Speech that hurts people’s FEELZ isn’t protected by the Constitution

      2. ^^^ THIS.

        And, even if one is so immersed in patriarchy that he (and I do mean “he”) cannot understand that such expression is literally the equivalent of rape, he should at least understand that the right of free speech does not mean he has the right shout “Fire!” in a crowded theater.

        Institutions of higher learning must abandon the principles of free inquiry and expression to preserve their system of free inquiry and expression. Federal funding is at stake.

    2. For those who didn’t click through to the article, this is what the sign said: “Freshman Girls Info Center.” Seriously.

  5. You don’t see what the big deal is about sexually suggestive signs?

    Why you fiend. The kids might have sex. I mean, they might even have drunk sex.

    (Hyperventilating) Ho…Ho..How can you live with yourself, being so cold and callous?

    1. Less Ho ho ho. That’s Santa. More, “I say, I say.”

      1. Touche

      2. Santa is from the North Pole, that’s why he’s cold (and callous).

  6. Denver: Hey, Let’s Shut Down Businesses That Oppose Gay Marriage

    Now, in an effort to save everyone some time, the cultural imperialists at the Denver City Council?which, to be fair, have long exhibited authoritarian impulses*?have decided to skip the pretense of some trumped-up injustice and jumped right to discriminating against a businesses solely because of the beliefs of its CEO.

    The Denver Council’s Business Development Committee has stalled a seven-year deal with Chick-fil-A because CEO Dan Cathy spoke out against gay marriage back in 2012. Cathy, after being flogged for this misconduct, backed off , saying he regretted getting involved. But that won’t do. There are no prisoners in this culture war. So the council will meet in couple of weeks to take up the topic again. Not so the members can take time to chew over the significance of a city punishing its citizens for their thoughts and beliefs, or even to weigh the importance of tolerance in a vibrant city like Denver. They’re waiting to have a closed-door committee hearing with city attorneys, who will brief them on the legal implications and practicality of shutting down apostates.

    1. Government seeking to punish a business for their CEO’s religious views? Sure, that’ll be no problem at all.

      1. And if the cultural tide ever turns against the gays, I am sure the victims of this kind of shit will be so kind in return. There can never be a downside to a small minority associating itself with oppression.

    2. Isn’t gay marriage fucking great? You guys made common cause and helped empower these assholes all to avoid the horror of gays having to get power of attorneys.

      1. Yoou’re right John!

        We should have made common cause and empowered the people trying to drive deviant lifestyles out of society instead! What were we thinking?!?!?

        1. Hey I hate prudes on both the right and the left. But, as far as the same-sex marriage thing goes, this is the shit we can expect.

          1. Yeah, who could have foreseen that back when left wingers all were opposed to gay marriage and the libertarians were the lone voice calling for legalizing gay marriage that we were making a deal with the devil?

            We really should listen to John’s cautionary warnings more.

      2. I pretty much agree with John here. There was no upside to making common cause with authoritarian pricks who just wanted to modify the nature of state-granted privilege. The correct libertarian position on marriage was to get the state out of the business of granting privilege to couples with state-granted marriage licenses.

        1. Gays were more free when the government did not recognize and by implication regulate their relationships. Somehow that fact was forgotten b

          1. So you’re claiming that the same sorts of relationships that were available to gays before this ruling are now no longer available?

        2. The correct libertarian position on marriage was to get the state out of the business of granting privilege to couples with state-granted marriage licenses.

          Funny how that’s only now being taken seriously now that gays got government marriage.

        3. Who are we to make common cause with, then? What would be different if “we” didn’t work with them or whatever? Obergefell would not have happened?

      3. So, if you partially agree with someone about an issue, anything they do is your fault? I don’t think it works that way, John.

        1. Min some ways yes. If the country had a Nazi party and figured out a way to use ending the drug war to get into power, might that make you think that ending the drug war should wait until it can be done without it putting the Nazis in power?

          1. You know who else wanted to put the Nazis in power?

            1. Bernie Sanders?

              1. Hmmmm….well, he is a national socialist, so I’ll allow it.

          2. John, I feel like a broken record sometimes. I had nothing to do with the timing or manner in which gay marriage was legalized. I’m not going to not say what I think because some other assholes agree with me in part.
            We have public accommodation laws and have for a long time. So in your example, the Nazis are already in power.

        2. I partially agrre with both Zeb and John, so this is all my fault.

    3. Demonstrating the tolerance of the cultural revolution since….well, ever.

      When will we be getting re-education camps?

      God, I hate these fuckers.

    1. Really fucked up. I’ve seen some reports saying there was a third victim. I hope they catch the lunatic soon.

    2. That was disturbing.

      1. That was disturbing.

        Does the video actually show them being shot? Not sure I wanna click on that if it does . . .

        1. You don’t actually see impact b/c the camera hits the ground pretty early on.

          If there’s a third victim, it’s possibly the person being interviewed.

        2. You hear the shots off camera, the reporter screaming and running away, the camera (and presumably the camera man) hitting the ground and what I think is the shooter walking by the camera as he’s firing.

          The audio is very disturbing and I don’t know how the anchor woman back at the studio kept her composure when they cut back.

          1. The audio is very disturbing and I don’t know how the anchor woman back at the studio kept her composure when they cut back.

            Reminds me of the murder of Kyle Dinkheller. He was a cop who was shot and killed by a guy he’d pulled over for speeding. There was a dashcam running, and while shooting isn’t captured by the video, it’s all on audio, including the coup de grace the guy fired into the cop’s head. Even though it’s only audio, it’s enough to make your skin crawl.

            1. The cop begging for the guy to stop shooting him is disturbing.

              1. The cop begging for the guy to stop shooting him is disturbing.

                Yeah that shit is horrifying.

                Funny, I could watch videos of plane crashes all day long. It’s the CVR audio that really gets under my skin, though, especially when they know they’re going down.

                1. Yep

          2. The look on her face was something, though. I’m not too surprised she kept it together, at least for the brief moment on the air. I’ve never experienced anything like that, but i do find that I get an odd sort of calm, at least for a while, when something shocking or scary happens.

            I’m kind of curious how they handled the rest of the news program after that, though.

        3. No but it’s pretty clear. But that first shot seems like it might have hit the reporter judging by her cringe when the shot fired, but I’m not sure of it.

        4. No but it’s not a long way from your imagination taking over.


    3. Damn. That was fucked up.

    4. I’ve been hearing about news crews being attacked on the air more and more regularly.

    5. I’m pretty sure after the camera drops to the ground you see the feet of the gunman walking by as he’s shooting.

      I think you even see the shell casings from the gun drop to the ground.

    6. That is the most fucked up thing I will have seen today.

    7. Why? Do they any idea who did this?

    8. the crazy people need to stop fucking killing other people. have some common decency and just shoot yourself in the head. the voices will stop. guaranteed.

    9. Well that was crazy. Jealous ex-boyfriend, maybe?

  7. The statement from MTSU said the sign, which read “Freshman Girls Info Center,” was inconsistent with university values

    Schools have been looking for an easy way to take down fraternities for decades and now they have it.

    1. Double secret probation!

      1. Cough, blow job, cough, cough.

    2. Yeah, well, hope they enjoy the consequences of those same networks of influential males finding a way to wholesale replace universities’ social leverage in employment accreditation.

  8. Jezebel sends trans comedian to NBA cheerleader camp

    A Clippers Spirit cheerleader named Candace taught us our first dance routine. On all fours, we whipped our hair around. This was my favorite part. Not thinking about everything I was doing wrong, I whipped my head so vigorously that one of my extensions came loose, and I skipped toward the back of the room to fix it. There, for the first time, I noticed that a man with a booze-bloated face and glazed over eyes was standing in the doorway staring at us.

    I fixed my extensions and rejoined the group. We thrust our hips and counted off 8s. I forgot the arms and fumbled the turns. All around me, the women who could dance stood easily on top of the frantic beat. They picked up the choreography as quickly as it was thrown at us: complicated phrases in a language that had become their native tongue. It was difficult to remember that, for all this skill and effort, the end goal was a position that’s dramatically undervalued and dismissed. In general, it’s difficult to surmise exactly how worthless the NBA finds its cheerleaders, but I was at this workshop to give that question a shot.

      1. Caitlyn is wearing verrryyyy thin at the moment.

        1. Caitlyn is wearing verrryyyy thin at the moment.

          Agreed. I’m sick of this guy.

          1. He’s not a guy, he’s a woman, because he thinks he’s a woman, so that makes it real. Like if I think I’m a dog, I’m a fucking dog. Or Napoleon, whatever.

            1. I identify as the God Emperor of Mankind. Now, join my crusade for unity or burn.

              1. +1 Leto

              2. +1 Golden Throne

              3. I know you’re being funny, but with the shooting today, it makes me think, how many crazy people out there could use this “identity” bullshit to excuse going out and murdering people. We are allowing these dilusions in extreme ways.

            2. He’s not a guy, he’s a woman, because he thinks he’s a woman, so that makes it real. Like if I think I’m a dog, I’m a fucking dog. Or Napoleon, whatever.

              Cool, then I get to be a 6’6″ 275-pound black guy. And a Marine General. Except you have to call me “Generalissimo,” or I won’t be able to self-actualize.

              1. All right, Generalissimo, gather your troops and bring Soviet Canuckistan into the fold of Unity.

              2. Generalissimo Butt Naked?

    1. Most everyone thinks their position is dramatically undervalued and dismissed. A comedian / Jezebel contributor should know that all too well.

      1. their position is dramatically undervalued

        A “comedian / Jezebel contributor”, I believe, is completely impossible to undervalue.

    2. A buddy of mine once dated a Cavs girl for a while. I hope he had her keep the boots on.

      1. I thought they charged extra for boots.

    3. The median ticket price to see any team play live is $53.98 and can be as high as $123.38 for a team like the New York Knicks. At these pricy games, one privilege that comes with buying top dollar floor level seats is to be greeted by cheerleaders as you walk through the door. Teams like the Brooklyn Nets offer a game night “experiences” with their dancers that start at $500 a package. And, according to former Golden State Warriors cheerleader Lisa Murray, NBA cheerleaders are “Working upwards of 30-35 hours, sometimes close to a 40 hours a week in the peak of the season? and only making minimum wage.”

      I know a place where they can dance and make more money…

      1. Working upwards of 30-35 hours, sometimes close to a 40 hours a week in the peak of the season? and only making minimum wage.”

        So, exercise your option to not take the fucking job.

        1. Yeah, and I’m sure the perks are no better than, say, working at McDonalds.


      2. “game night “experiences” with their dancers that start at $500 a package.”

        Can they expect a visit from DHS soon to stop these “experiences”? And for $500, they damn well better include a happy ending!

  9. Illinois is reforming school “zero tolerance” policies.

    Kids knifing each other in the cafeteria. Can it be far behind?

    1. You’ve not been in Chicago or Rockford public skoolz? Started many years ago…

      1. But now it will be even MORE tolerated.

    2. Finally, some good news from Illinois.

  10. Jonah Goldberg: To Liberals, Changing the Constitution Is Only Outrageous When a Republican Does It

    t’s funny: On countless public policy issues, liberals are obsessed with comparing America to European countries. Vermont senator Bernie Sanders routinely points out that Europeans have far more lavish welfare policies, including various forms of government-provided health care. President Obama loves to point to the gun-control policies of other industrialized nations. “Why can’t we just be more like (insert more left-wing European country)?” is the standard-issue rhetorical gimmick for cosmopolitan and sophisticated liberal policy wonks.

    Except when it’s not. No European country grants automatic citizenship to any person born on its soil. And yet, we are told that undoing this right would be a barbaric and retrograde reversal.

    1. And no European country allows late term abortions.

      1. Sure they do. In the cases like when fetuses have no brain, etc. They just don’t have crazies fighting about it in public.

        1. Not on demand like we do you lying half wit.

        2. Sure they do. In the cases like when fetuses have no brain

          Too bad you slipped through.

        3. Have you ever said anything that was even approaching true or accurate? Like seriously, at any point in your life? Statistically you should have said something that wasn’t a lie just by sheer accident, but if you have, it hasn’t been on here.


          1. No he hasn’t. Never once. Lying is what he does.

          2. Your article SUPPORTS what I said, dipshit. Abortion laws are stricter than they are here but they still allow exceptions in extreme cases ) including anencephaly.

            1. John|8.26.15 @ 9:33AM|#

              Not on demand like we do you lying half wit.

            2. I should have realized from experience that “allowed” in your vernacular means “filling out dozens of pages of paperwork in consultation with medical specialists and social workers in order to obtain a special exemption from the generally-applicable law”.

      2. Yes, but since the natives get impregnated at approximately the same rate as a panda bear and as the immigrant population over there has no interest in having abortions, it’s kind of a non-issue.

    2. I was thinking about why the left is so obsessed with Europe. I think it is largely cultural. There is this impression that Europe is more sophisticated, more refined, more cultured. Look at their architecture, their food, their history of art, music, etc. By comparison, they see America as consumer driven, catering to the lowest common denominator, mass produced.

      The thing is, historically European culture was created by elites, for elites. American culture, on the other hand, has catered to the common person, the masses that so many progressives claim so adamantly to care about.

      What they really want is all the decorum of an aristocracy.

      1. ^This. It’s a cultural inferiority complex, and ramps up to self-loathing in extreme cases.

      2. Except several of Europe’s greatest minds actually had humble origins. Not sure if they were elite. But I get the overall point because in the end it was the elites who offered patronage.

        1. Exactly.

        2. Clearly we should emulate Canada instead. Because hockey and poutine are working class and sophisticated.

          1. Don’t forget your toque, eh!


          2. I’m not advocating emulating anyone, but I would love a little more hockey and poutine.

    3. Did Sanders happen to mention that in those enlightened countries with lavish welfare policies that the standard of living is lower than that of Mississippi?

      No? I wonder why…

  11. Uber and Lyft are coming to LAX.

    To be put on a plane out of town?

    1. Are they some travelling tranny sex show?

  12. Hiker burned, two dogs die after leaping into Idaho hot springs


  13. Oh great…

    Dane commits ‘genitalia vandalism’ in IKEA

    On a visit to the local IKEA in Aalborg, the man had taken one of the store’s wooden pencils and proceeded to casually stroll through the warehouse drawing small penises on the walls and pieces of furniture on display.

    “He drew up to 30 penises on walls and shelves around the warehouse,” Rikke Poulsen from the North Jutland police told Berlingske News Bureau.

    IKEA staff eventually caught up with the vandal who had left a trail of crudely drawn genitalia in his wake and reported him to the police.

    1. Prophet presaging the arrival of Danish Warty?

    1. A female freshman arrives for her mandatory one-on-one session in her male RA’s dorm room.


      My (female) RA just smoked weed all day.

  14. Hillary Clinton email contained classified material.

    We already knew that, it was already reported wasn’t it? In other news, Lou Reed has mysteriously stopped touring and scientists have discovered that water once flowed on Mars.

  15. It’s official: I swore into the Army yesterday. I ship out Nov 24th for 12 weeks at the luxurious Fort Sill Spa and Resort. Then off to language school for a year or so. 14 weeks left as a civilian. Fun fact: Fort Sill is about 40 miles north of where I lived in Texas.

    Motivational thought: Do not go if afraid. Once gone, do not be afraid.
    Motivational song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQGQab3lToM

    1. Derpy Joins the Army: MEPS, Round 2

      Had to stay overnight at the hotel. I heard horror stories, but the only part that bugged me was all the waiting. The food was good and the people we dealt with had a good sense of humor for the most part. I worked out for 3 hours in the hotel gym the night before my weigh-in to be sure I’d pass. I was watching the news and learned that ISIS had destroyed another ancient monument. It stiffened my resolve. When I had my weigh-in, the rounded up my height by an inch, so it turns out I didn’t need to do all that exercise.

      1. Gratz!

        Interesting aside… When I joined many a year back, they put us up in the Hilton in Los Angeles.

        I thought, “woo, we’re getting fancy digs for our send-off!”

        Turns out there was a special wing in the Hilton. The Table and two chairs were concrete and cinder block. Two lumpy hard twin size beds in a single sized room. It was like spending the night in Oz, with-out the ass rape.

    2. There were about 100 of us at the hotel. We got up at 4 AM Tuesday and the last of us (me) was not done until 4 PM that day. I had to take the DLAB foreign language aptitude test. I got 132 out of a possible 176. 95 is passing and 110 is an excellent score. Probably could have done even better if I hadn’t been tired and hungry or if I had worn my lucky werewolf shirt. I asked about getting a guarantee of Arabic in my contract, but they said language guarantees only go to current/native speakers. Still, I get a $40k bonus, and there is a very high chance I will study Arabic based on my score and the state of the world. If it turns out I get Korean or Chinese, I’m OK with that too. The doctor qualified me for airborne, so special forces is still a possibility. I would like very much to shoot those ISIS sons of bitches myself, but since I can’t, maybe at least I can help the people who will. Someone has to get the info so the bombs and bullets hit the right target.

      And so after many hurdles and hardships, I am officially a member of The Big Green Machine.

      Army Strong. Army SMASH!

      1. Welcome!

        Tips for BCT: Don’t volunteer for anything (its a trap), don’t let the Drill Sergeants become familiar your name.

        1. My brother is a small guy like me, so the Drill Sgt always used him to demonstrate fighting moves. Eventually, my brother got mad and decided to have a go with the Drill Sgt. He did OK until the Drill Sgt pulled my brother’s shirt over his head.

        2. Dont listen to him. Volunteer for everything, it’s shows gumption and the DI is on the same team. He should be your buddy and confidant.

          1. Maybe we can sing songs and talk about our feelings!

            1. There is a lot of love in this room!

              1. “Everybody back to the pile”

              2. Lighten up, Francis!

            2. Exactly. Watch “No time for Sergeants” with Andy Griffith. It will guide your way.


            3. In the Army, rarely wear underwear, but if you do wear any make sure it is unusual.

              1. Something in a low-cut, mesh brief?

          2. “He should be your buddy and confidant.”

            Thanks for almost slaying me with laughter, FL Man…

            All I can think of is the insane Guamanian paratrooper who was my primary Drill SGT wishing he could PT us until we f’ing died.

          3. Dont listen to him. Volunteer for everything, it’s shows gumption and the DI is on the same team. He should be your buddy and confidant.

            My first day at Parris Island, during “bucket issue”:

            – Drill Instructor (pointing at me from across room): You! Get the fuck over here right now!

            – Me (lacing up newly issued boots): Hang on, I’m tying my boots, I’ll be there in a minute.

            My day pretty much turned to shit after that.

            1. What is the proper response to that? Run over with untied shoes, or shout ‘yes sir’ and make your way over as soon as the shoes are tied? Or are you just fucked because its boot camp and they laugh at your pain.

              1. Or are you just fucked because its boot camp and they laugh at your pain.

                Pretty much this. The proper reponse when summoned by a drill instructor is to appear immediately. That means if your boots aren’t tied, you run carefully. If you’re taking a shit, you break it off as cleanly as possible, yank up your pants, and proceed to his location. They really don’t like to be kept waiting.

              2. You kill the Drill Insturctor and finish tying your shoes.

              3. I spent the day at a punk rock music festival with a DI (part of a group of friends). He was pretty cool, and funny. He basically confirmed that laughing at the pain of recruits is the best part of his job. He also took preparing recruits for service very seriously. It’s an interesting mindset.

                1. He also took preparing recruits for service very seriously. It’s an interesting mindset.

                  They do take it seriously. Drill instructors are career Marines, and their school is one of toughest. One of our drill instructors, just before we graduated, explained to us that they view recruits as animals who seek to wear the same uniform they do.

                  An interesting aside: when I went through (a long time ago), there were four recruit training battalions – three for men, one for women. In Second Battalion, recruits were referred to as “Privates,” which on paper is the official rank of a Marine recruit. In the other battalions, recruits are referred to as “Recruit.” It was explained to us that “Private” is the rank of a Marine, and that you’re not a Marine until the day you graduate basic training.

          4. Don’t forget to tell him you want a reach-around.

      2. Cool Derp.

      3. Best wishes, D!

        Hey, make sure to eat at Meers and The Old Plantation.

        1. I went to Meers once, but there was a huge line so I didn’t go in.

      4. This one’s for you, Derpy. Good luck out there, and godspeed. Working for/with SOF is challenging but one of the most rewarding opportunities out there. If you really want to do it, work hard and never quit.

        And remember, there’s a waiver for everything…

        1. I larfed. I found misspelled words on various Army forms. When I pointed them out to the med staff, they said “yep, that’s the Army for you.”

      5. Welcome to the big green machine – the baddest gang the world’s ever seen. Where breaking stuff is part of the job description. If you’re ever in Japan get in touch.

      6. Be where you’re supposed to be, when you are supposed to be there, be in the right uniform, and do what everyone else is doing. Makes Basic a breeze. At least yout didn’t get Jackson. I did OSUT at Benning. Was fun after week 4 or so.

      7. Yeah normally you wont get your language assigned until you get to DLI, with that score I believe you qualify for Category V languages (Modern Standard Arabic, Iraqi Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Levantine Arabic and Pashto). It is very unlikely that you get Japanese, those sorts of languages usually go to Defense Attach? types and it is taught at DLI east in DC (vice DLI in Monterey, CA), so as far as Arabic, they teach Modern Standard at Monterey and you get dialect training on an as needed basis (pre-deployment, on station etc.). As far as Chinese and Korean, there are only a few duty stations that have positions for those languages and most of them, especially for Chinese, are what we call strategic duty stations, lots of sitting with headphones on.

        I have spent about half of my career supporting SF units, it is pretty common for linguists to apply to go to SF selection while assigned to the SF group, plus you will have a bunch of long tabbers hanging around to give you tips and possibly help you train for selection and the Q Course. If you have more questions hit me up on email before you ship for *shudders* Sill.

        1. *correction Cat IV languages

    3. Lots of things go boom at Fort Sill.

    4. I respect that. I often wish I had done the same when I was younger. Good luck.

    5. Fort Sill, eh? That’s my hometown. It has one of the highest violent crime rates in the country, and a shitload of strip clubs. Enjoy!

      1. He probably won’t have much time for that, he will be otherwise occupied getting yelled at by scary men with round hats.

    6. Congrats and good luck, Derpy. Glad you qualifed for airborne. Hope you get Arabic.

      We’ll miss you.

    7. Lawton is a dump. I call it the asshole of Oklahoma, because it is where all the nasty shit is. I spent 3 months TDY where. But while you’re in BCT, you won’t be able to get out and see stuff. At least you’ll be there in the winter months. Cold as shit, but won’t be boiling hot. Summer there fucking sucks. I stepped off the plane onto the tarmac at the Ft. Sill airport… it was 107 degrees. Fuck that! Got over 110 my first week. I felt bad for those who were training then. Yuck.

      1. I went to the Wichita mountains wildlife preserve near Lawton. It was nice. There’s a good Korean restaurant there too.

        1. What are two things Derpy won’t get to do while in BT, Alex?

  16. The persistence of history

    From Morocco, where thousands of children work as petites bonnes, or maids, to the Syrian refugee camps in Jordan where girls are forced into prostitution, to the unsanctioned rape and abuse of domestics in the Gulf, aid workers say servitude is rife.

    Scholars are sharply divided over how much cultural mores are to blame. Apologists say that, in a concession to the age, the Prophet Muhammad tolerated slavery, but?according to a prominent American theologian trained in Salifi seminaries, Yasir Qadhi?he did so grudgingly and advocated abolition. Repeatedly in the Koran the Prophet calls for the manumission of slaves and release of captives, seeking to alleviate the slave systems run by the Greeks, Romans, Byzantines and Jewish Himyarite kings of Yemen. He freed one slave, a chief’s daughter, by marrying her, and chose Bilal, another slave he had freed, to recite the first call to prayer after his conquest of Mecca. His message was liberation from worldly oppression, says Mr Qadhi?enslavement to God, not man.

    1. but the real threat to civilization is the evil white people from places like Alabama. They have confederate flags you know.

    2. Fuck Islam and fuck anyone who follows that piece of shit religion.

  17. FTA Fun Home:

    Cultural pluralism will lose its value if students aren’t allowed to follow their beliefs, even if they are conservative. Without genuine diversity, intellectual dialogue and growth are stifled.

    Money quote.

  18. CBO report forecasts unsustainable debt in long term

    Combined, those numbers mean the government will run a deficit of $426 billion in fiscal year 2015, down about $60 billion from 2014 and marking the smallest deficit of President Obama’s tenure.

    The good news will continue for a couple of years as the economy belatedly but fully rebounds from the recession of December 2007 to June 2009. By 2018, though, debt will rise as government spending grows and the economy will cool again, the CBO said.

    “The growth in debt is not sustainable,” CBO Director Keith Hall said in presenting the estimates. “At some point, it’s going to get to a very high level. Obviously, you can’t predict tipping points, but at some point this becomes a problem.”

    1. Simpson-Bowles got crushed by Congress.

      1. The spending before 2009 is all Bush’s fault. But after it is Congress’ fault. Go die in a fire and do the gene pool a favor you worthless piece of shit.

        1. Why are you wingnuts so hostile today?

        2. Naw our debt is 18 trillion dollars and apparently stuck there so ITS ALL GOOT!

      2. Krugman said no problems with debt last week. Get your talking points right.

        1. +$1,000,000,000,000 coin

        2. Au contraire. Krugman said there is a big problem with government debt: there isn’t enough of it.

    2. Jack Lew and Treasury have been fudging the numbers for the last six months now, but they’re not going to be able to much longer, with only a few weeks left in the fiscal year, so soon the debt will take another one of those enormous jumps.

        1. Go jump in front of a truck, shitheap.

          10/16/2013 11,929,976,600,223.38 4,817,383,948,833.85 16,747,360,549,057.23
          10/17/2013 12,117,282,743,815.33 4,958,307,364,148.24 17,075,590,107,963.57

    3. Note that the monthly deficit for July alone was over $149 billion. Which by the way is more than fifty billion higher than the deficits were in July ’14 and July ’13!

      And now look at the “official” debt numbers for the last six months, and note how the debt amazingly hasn’t moved an inch in all that time. It’s because Jack Lew is fudging the numbers, which is the only thing he’s good at.

      1. Monthly deficits are always lumpy. Tax refunds in Feb, Fannie/Freddie paybacks to the Treasury, tax receipts for quarterly reporting and so on.

        1. The only thing lumpy in this thread is your soft skull, retard.

    4. Whatever happened to the term ‘revenue neutral’?

      I loved that one.

      I loved how economic and financial illiterates jumped to defend Obamacare using a term they heard for the first time like a bunch of ignoramus cultists.

      1. You don’t know anything about Obamacare finances.

        1. 10 years of taxes to pay for six years of service. Math does not add up.

        2. Apparently no one does.

  19. The Libertarian Chick gets Trumped:

    The Birth of the Cool Republican

    In 2008, young Obama supporters were the epitome of cool: They drank Starbucks. They wore skinny jeans and TOMS. They blogged and tweeted furiously on their MacBooks decorated with those iconic “Hope” stickers. These twentysomethings were effortlessly hip, and they were everywhere.

    Supporting John McCain? That was social suicide. To be a conservative was to associate oneself with a dying political party ruled by old white men. Being a Republican was definitely not cool.


    1. Fuck. I was hoping maybe you were the reporter who got killed. Oh well.

      1. Well, that was pleasant.

        Why don’t you take a few days off and check yourself.

        1. Mike M doesn’t bother me. We’re pretty much all leather-hided cynical assholes here. Actually he is the epitome of a wingnut so having him around is useful.

          1. Great. Now all I can think about is leathery assholes. Thanks.

            1. NEEDZ MOAR LUBE!

      2. Fucking A, Mike. Chill out.

    2. Yeah, Obama supporters are just so cool!

      1. That guy.

        /nods head.

  20. But in the Bible, Jesus forbids his followers from exposing themselves to anything pornographic. “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart,” he says in Matthew 5:28-29.

    As a conservative, do you really want to be parroting Jimmy Carter? Also, way to not capitalize the pronoun describing Jesus, heathen.

    1. Then, might as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb.

  21. Sanders the populist, Trump the fascist:The truth about comparing two unlikely presidential contenders
    While both Sanders and Trump have seized on populist groundswells, Trump’s success has more sinister connotations

    While it’s certainly too simplistic to argue that the left/right dichotomy alone can illuminate, clarify, and resolve all the vagueness and contradiction involved, it’s vastly more simplistic to ignore how the right/left dichotomy can shed light on distinctive differences, which elite commentators routinely ignore, and which just happen to go to the heart of some of the most pressing issues of our age?not to mention the 2016 election cycle.

    The quote above cited the Tea Party as an example of populism. But their demand for power?though cloaked in terms of anti-elitism?is actually aimed at dis-empowering an increasingly diverse electorate with a much more inclusive sense of who “the people” are. This can be seen most vividly in the Tea Party’s embrace of Birtherism, as well as the myth of rampant voter fraud, in addition to their hostility to immigration, and it goes to the heart of the left/right distinction in terms of populist thought: rightwing populism is more driven by imaginary fears, whereas leftwing populism is more driven by concrete hopes.

    1. rightwing populism is more driven by imaginary fears, whereas leftwing populism is more driven by concrete hopes

      I suppose that may be true in a way, but hoping for stupid bullshit that won’t work isn’t any better than fear based on stupid bullshit.

      1. Though left-wing populism is clearly based on imagined fears too, e.g. “war on women”, guns, a theocratic conspiracy poised to take over the country.

        1. OWS loons join Tea Party loons on how “bankers secretly control the world” paranoia. That populist crap even infiltrated Bircher/libertarian pols like Ron Paul.

          1. I hardly think opposition to banking cartels and political control in finance is “populist crap”. Not exactly the rhetoric used to rally blue collar workers to protest et cetera. The “abolish the fed” crowd has been alone in the woods until very recently and they’re still anything but populist.

        2. Extreme paranoia about thosr Frankenstein’s monsters known as corporations.

          1. Yes, that’s another prominent one.

          2. And GMO, and vaccinations. And the Koch brothers.

            Christians, and Republicans and Nazis! Oh my!

            1. And the resurgent Klan hanging nooses in trees and wearing their robes on college campuses.

            2. RAPE CULTURE!!!!11!!!!

              1. +1 in 5!

    2. Nothing says disempowerment like demanding a small government. And clearly the guy who wants to seal the border and implement socialism has nothing in common with the national socialists. It’s just populism.

      Everything these people say is a lie

    3. it goes to the heart of the left/right distinction in terms of populist thought: rightwing populism is more driven by imaginary fears, whereas leftwing populism is more driven by concrete hopes.

      Once again, a pundit writes what they hope to be true.

    4. that headline screamed Salon at me from across the building and it did not disappoint.

  22. Spot the Not: wacky navy ship names

    1. Croaker

    2. HMS Cockchafer

    3. Wahoo

    4. Intelligent Whale

    5. Bottom Feeder

    6. Pringle

      1. Wouldn’t that be a great harbor dredge name… or a lawyer’s yacht?

    1. 5 is the not. Here’s the wiki article on the HMS Cockchafer:


  23. Confederate fantasies & the Donald Trump surge: Inside the dangerous Southern mythology creeping into the GOP primary
    Earlier this week, Ken Burns blew the lid off of this election’s most unsettling developments

    I can only imagine the sheer volume of racists, hillbillies and crackpots festooning Ken Burns’ Twitter feed and email inbox today. The award-winning documentary filmmaker appeared on CBS News’ “Face the Nation” over the weekend and set the record straight, not only on the true reason for the Civil War, but also about how the “Lost Cause” mythology has informed the modern view of the Confederate flag. He also noted the real message behind Donald Trump’s involvement in the Birther movement.

    And, of course, Burns wasn’t just predictably eloquent, but he was objectively correct about every last detail.

    CBS News’s John Dickerson asked Burns about the age-old debate, whether the war was fought over states’ rights or slavery. Among other things, Burns rightly noted,

    “If you read South Carolina’s articles of secession, the first state to secede, the birthplace of secession, home of the original fire-eaters ? they do not mention states’ rights, they mention slavery, slavery, slavery.”

    1. How many people at Salon or CBS News have watched a full Ken Burns documentary?

      1. Personally I found the Ken Burns Civil War documentary rather dull. I wanted maps with arrows showing troop movements and the hottest parts of the battle. Instead it was more like:

        Slow Pan & Scan over post-battle pictures.

        Voice over: “Oh my dear. What a calamitous day. I wish I could be in your arms instead of witnessing the most gross slaughter of my tender senses.”

        1. I liked it. It is the only thing he has ever done that was any good. You want dull watch his films on jazz or baseball sometime. That is like the platonic form of dull.

          1. After the Civil War doc I wouldn’t even think of watching his take on jazz or, even worse, baseball. The latter being the only sport I find more boring than soccer.

            1. The early Baseball episodes are pretty good, through about the 1920s. They start to come off the rails after that because he starts struggling to find common narrative themes.

          2. Brooklyn Bridge was good. And it was a normal feature length deal and not 100 hours long, which was nice. I agree that his later long form docs were less good than Civil War, which was pretty decent.

            1. Ken Burns inspired the “Pillows and Blankets” episode of Community, which was fun.

          3. Yeah, I liked the Civil War documentary, so I tried to watch his film on baseball, and it was horrible.

        2. I don’t get the obsession with his documentaries. They are all “slow pan over pictures”. I tried watching the baseball and National Parks one. The National Parks one in particular was disappointing. It was made 2009 but the picture quality of the new film made it look like it was from the mid 90s. And the shots were generally not that impressive. I was hoping for something that was, visually, more like Planet Earth.

          1. Got to see him interviewed live a few weeks back. Whatever you think of his work, he comes across as a genuine & decent person (although he did have one obligatory dog-whistle to his largely left-leaning audience). The “slow pan over pictures” is, apparently, now known as the “Ken Burns Effect.”

            He’s currently working on the Vietnam War. His crew has already uncovered a bunch of new evidence which should be interesting.

            1. I heard him talk about FDR. I don’t agree with his take but he does seem like a decent guy. I just don’t find his documentary style to be very engaging.

        3. That would have been too History Channel for Burns’ taste, and required him to have consulted actual subject matter experts on civil war battles rather than his own muse. Also, maybe some sort of stylistic objection to pictures which contain motion, as opposed to static images which move as a whole.

          1. I am pretty sure Shelby Foote and the former marine old guy whose name escapes me count as experts. They didn’t call Bruce Catton the Yankee Foote because Foote wasn’t an expert.

    2. So, he made a long TV show about the Civil War, so he is the definitive expert? Fuck Ken Burns, that little twerp.

      Also, the Civil War was about slavery. And states’ rights to maintain slavery.

      1. I can believe he researched things pretty thoroughly.

        1. I’m sure he knows a lot about it. But the research and writing was mostly done by Geoff Ward.

          I have a (perhaps somewhat irrational) hatred for Ken Burns as a person.

          1. My point is that he is in a position to be well informed on the subject.

      2. States’ rights was the tool and slavery the project. Progs blame the tool for the evil of the project just as they blame the gun for the shooting.

    3. God damn they aren’t gonna let this shit go are they.

      I’ll bet there has been more conversation about the Confederacy and the Civil War since that asshole kid, then there was after the actual fucking Civil War.

      It’s funny how after the actual Civil War, a lot of prominent Confederates went right back to doing normal shit and were welcomed to do so. Hell, there were several Confederate generals at Grant’s funeral and I think even a couple were pallbearers.

      But now it’s like, “Confederate flag, KILL THE HERETIC!!!!!!!!!!!”

    4. CBS News’s John Dickerson asked Burns about the age-old debate, whether the war was fought over states’ rights or slavery. Among other things, Burns rightly noted,

      “If you read South Carolina’s articles of secession, the first state to secede, the birthplace of secession, home of the original fire-eaters ? they do not mention states’ rights, they mention slavery, slavery, slavery.”

      So… it sounds like that wasn’t really an answer to the question asked? Yes, secession was about slavery. What about the war?

      1. The South fought for the right to secede and they wanted to secede primarily over slavery. The North fought to prevent secession, though to be sure not everyone in the North was fighting to end slavery.

        I think it is perfectly fair to say that the South was fighting to preserve slavery but that the North was not necessarily fighting to end it, at least early in the war.

        I don’t understand why there is such a drive to distance the cause of the Civil War from slavery.

        1. Having said that, there were people on the South who were not fighting to preserve slavery. I seem to remember a story that Lincoln asked Lee to lead the Union, and Lee said he would side with whichever side Virginia went with. So he would have conceivably led the Union if Virginia had not seceded.

          So it is pretty clear some guys were fighting for their home more than anything else. I suspect the guy on the battlefield was not that concerned with slavery. But the larger political picture clearly centered on slavery.

          1. I suspect the guy on the battlefield was not that concerned with slavery.

            No, they really weren’t. There were obviously a few who saw the conflict as a means to end slavery and were fighting for the at purpose (Robert Gould Shaw and other high-class northeasterners, for example), but the average grunt would have thought it absurd that they were fighting to free the slaves, and even Lincoln went on record saying that he’d rather keep the slaves in bondage if it meant preserving the Union. Soldiers from the southern parts of states like Indiana, Ohio, and Illinois in particular had no more love for blacks than whites in the Deep South and people in those areas actually voted Democrat after the Emancipation Proclamation was released. Not to mention Lincoln never would have kept Missouri, Maryland, Delaware, or Kentucky from seceding if he had made the end of slavery the chief goal of the war at the outset.

      2. Do you think they would have shot Peter Fonda if he had a Confederate flag on his back?

  24. Spot the Not: immigration policies around the world

    1. this country pays people to emigrate

    2. only members of a certain ethnic group may become citizens of this country

    3. this country deports about 60,000 people each year

    4. this country grants residency permits to about 300 people each year

    5. this country admits about 200,000 immigrants per year

    6. this country admits about 100,0000 immigrants per year

    1. None of those sound abnormal, unless you mean the malformed number.

      1. Chigau desu, Suweeshi-san, so sorry.

        1. Fucking gaijin!

      2. #2 is, I believe, Israel.

        1. Nope. Any Jew can emigrate and get automatic citizenship. But ANYONE can request resident alien status and apply for citizenship. JUST LIKE EVERY OTHER COUNTRY!

    2. Oh, crap, just realized that you’re the one who does these. Your contests will be missed.

      1. I will try to do at least one via snail mail from Fort Sill.

        1. I will try to do at least one via snail mail from Fort Sill.

          It’s only Army boot camp, so you should have nights and weekends off to do all the posting you want. Plus, IT will set you up with a workstation in your suite, so you should be up and running on day one. 😉

          1. Wow, things have changed! When I was in Air Force boot camp there was no Internet access or email. Then again, it was 1983…

    3. 1 is the Not, although the Aussies have paid cash to migrants to turn their boats around:


      The rest in order are Japan, Mexico, China, Canada, and Sweden. The US legally admits about 1 million immigrants each year, more than any other country.

      1. I’m not cheating. I’m 0.500.

        1. And I checked on Intelligent Whale.

  25. Dust-covered woman from iconic 9/11 photograph dies of cancer

    Washington (AFP) – A survivor of the September 11, 2001 attacks on New York who was featured in one of the most haunting photographs of the outrage has died of stomach cancer. She was 42.

    The family of Marcy Borders first announced her death Monday on Facebook.

    Borders, who was 28 at the time of the attacks, was just one month into a job for Bank of America in one of the Twin Towers.

    As one of the towers collapsed, she took refuge in a nearby office building, where AFP photographer Stan Honda took a haunting photo of her completely covered in a thick layer of ash, which earned her the moniker “The Dust Lady.”

    Sad story, but it sounds like she kind of stayed stuck in the “9/11 victim” complex her entire life.

    1. Some people managed to get on with their lives – others not so much. I can’t fault her if she got stuck in the victim complex. It is still hard for me to watch video footage of that day.

      1. Absolutely. It’s too bad for her and especially her kid though.

      2. ^This. PTSD varies widely.

    2. Makes you wonder about how many people 9/11 really killed, when all is said and done.

      1. ***caution*** armchair psychologist:

        It’s a coincidence, sure, but still purely anecdotal. It’s certainly plausible that 9/11 brought her chemical dependency and depression on earlier than if her brain had manufactured the crippling paranoia from whole cloth later in life.

        1. I was talking about the cancer…

  26. How your condom use changes over time
    New research reveals college students grow less and less likely to wrap it up with each passing year

    The study examined students from 20 different schools across the U.S. and revealed that students were two and a half times more likely to engage in unprotected sex in their senior year versus their freshman year.

    One of the most interesting factors at play is that condom use was found to be lower among students from privileged backgrounds, as opposed to students from less wealthy families. Apparently, according to the study, the students from less privileged backgrounds begin to be influenced by privileged students while attending college and use condoms less overall by the time they graduate. The researchers found the most significant drop in use happens between a student’s freshman and sophomore year?right after a student becomes familiar with the college environment.


    1. So black illegitimacy rates and STD rates among the poverty stricken is actually the fault of rich people’s privilege? I guess rich people give poor people demonstrations on how to fuck? Yet somehow the rates of STDs and illegitimacy are lower in the privileged groups, despite their similarly low condom use. Banging clean women and knowing how to pick your partner is a sign of one’s privilege!

      1. Probably more to do with those from poorer backgrounds in college being hyper responsible coming in. They aren’t a representative sample of the group they came from.

        1. That makes sense. They had to work harder to get where they are. And I don’t mean they had to work to overcome some rich guy’s “privilege”. They had to work harder to overcome the influence of their family, friends and neighbors who would rather sip on schadenfreude than see you succeed.

  27. I just did a call as a reference for a friend’s background check.

    How long have we known one another, our relationship, my address, can I name two other people.

    What a thorough investigation.

    1. “Is it possible that your friend fucks sheep?”

      1. “Of course not, he’s allergic to wool.”

        1. *** silently writes something down ***

      2. I like when I get questions about terrorism, it’s hard to hold it together and give them a non-sarcastic answer.

        1. “As a devout Malthusian, he’s convinced there are too many people, and that we need to accellerate space colonization so that some piece of the species might survive the resource war when the nukes come out”

        2. “As far as I know any rumors that he used to set fires in abandoned buildings and vivisect small kittens are lies without any basis in fact.”

          1. “… It was occupied buildings and lion cubs.”

    2. I work in the nuclear power industry and this is exactly the background check questions we get. In my head, every fucking time:
      “Yeah he is a great guy. He even bought me a souvenir the last time he went to Iran. Those North Korean pics were kind of boring though.”

      1. Ha, it was actually for him to get access to a nuclear plant.

    3. I did one of those for a neighbor who was going for federal government security clearance. It took forever (or so it seemed).

  28. Black holes are a passage to another universe, says Stephen Hawking

    Anybody know where to find a large rotating black hole?

    *** bites lip ***

    1. Warty’s Dungeon?

    2. The question of what happens at an even horizon is fantastically interesting.
      Science reporting is usually terrible.

    3. Fuck Hawking. Asshole pops off without showing his work on a regular basis.

      1. I decided a while ago he’s become a science troll, just seeing what kind of shit he can get away with saying and having people buy it.

      2. Be fair, he communicates at the speed of an Ent.

        1. I hate that I laffed.

      3. He likes the public eye and presenting his highly speculative theories. I’m pretty sure he still actually does real work too.

    4. I thought cartoons settled this theory already.

    5. This was theorized several decades ago. This isn’t a new idea. And there are several solutions to general relativity in which a singularity may allow a connection to either a space-like distance in our universe or to another universe altogether.

      And I also love how Hawking says we don’t need god (an unfalsifiable hypothesis) because the many-worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics (an unfalsifiable “hypothesis”). I am not arguing for the presence of a creator deity, merely that justifying one’s militant atheism on the grounds of a completely unfalsifiable idea (by definition) is intellectual laziness.

    6. Strange, I read a different article where he allegedly said that black holes basically strip off information, leave it at the event horizon, and then it randomly spews back out with whatever energy is expelled as the hole shrinks.

      1. “Evaporation” due to spontaneous pair production. Uncertainty principle allows for large uncertainties in energy over very small periods of time. Near the event horizon, there is in general alot of energy. So an electron-positron pair could be created, which normally would then annhilate each other almost instantly. However, near the event horizon one of these could go in to the singularity while the other remains in normal space. Therefore the kinetic energy of this new particle is taking away potential energy from the singularity. Over a long period of time, this would cause the black hole to shrink.

        1. I’m aware of Hawking radiation, but this was a recent comment about the conservation of information — that instead of going into the interior of the hole and being lost, it stays at the event horizon, and then gets carried out by hawking radiation as the event horizon shrinks. I mean, I’m not a physicist, so that might be a terrible explanation, but it was my takeaway.

          1. Sorry if I came off as pedantic! I didn’t notice you specifically mentioned information. I admit to not following the “latest” stuff as often as I used to when I taught physics. Now its mostly regulatory stuff involving the Nuclear Regulatory Commission (Fun!!).

  29. What Biden vs. Hillary would look like.

    coming this fall on the new SyFy.

  30. Uber and Lyft are coming to LAX.

    LAX business-regulating local governments, yanno what i mean?

  31. Mars colonization project seeks zany billionaire backers.

    What about three-breasted fronters?

    1. Those are the Hindu billionaires.

  32. Derpy’s Great Rust Belt Trek or America the Pitiful

    I am planning a new road trip to the most depressing parts of the country. Ports of call will include Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Detroit, and Buffalo. Any reasonoids thereabouts who are interested in meeting up, please let me know. I plan on being on the road in the 2nd or 3rd week of September.

    1. All the libertarians left those places 20 years ago.

      1. +2 typhoons in the last two weeks

    2. Barfalo is the wrong end of the state for me.

    3. Alamnian and I are Michiganders. I’m on the west side though. Detroit is too shitty.

      1. Western Michigan is quite nice really.

        1. Minus the winters… yes.

          My little suburb is more like a small resort town – parades, big high school football games, fireworks over the lake, and music in the park.

          1. Willows in the breeze?

            1. Only for the white people.

      2. You guys are all pussies. Detoilet is where its at!

    4. I’m two hours south of Cleveland. Look for a cornfield, you’ll find me there.

      1. Were you wished there by an evil, omnipotent boy?

        1. We don’t talk about the Twilight Zone nearly enough here on the lynx

        2. I live in the field with my brother Malachai.

    5. Will be in Cleveland on September 21-23, and Cincinnati on the 24-26th.

    6. “Money” magazine just named Pittsburgh the #1 city to live in. I was there in July and it is just the right size (300,000 pop.) to get around in, has some terrific cultural organizations due to being corp. headquarters, and new medical/techie centers succored by Pitt and Carnegie Mellon.
      Winters, which reported last from November to May, are hell, however.

      1. They’re only heck.

    7. Buffalo is nowhere near Detroit levels of depressing. It does suffer under the weight of Albany, though.

  33. Fate of 1,404 bottles of rare wine rests with Pennsylvania judge

    HARRISBURG, Pa. (Reuters) – The fate of 1,404 bottles of rare wine seized from a private collector under Pennsylvania’s strict liquor laws hangs on a judge’s ruling next week on a loophole that may allow hospital “use” of forfeited liquor.

    The wine was confiscated in 2014 under a Pennsylvania law that limits nearly all alcoholic beverage sales to its chain of state liquor stores, none of which sells rare vintages.

    It was among a cache of 2,447 bottles with an estimated value of at least $125,000 that Pennsylvania State Police seized from Arthur Goldman, a lawyer in Malvern, Pennsylvania.

    Chester County Hospital in the Philadelphia suburb of West Chester filed a court petition on Friday seeking custody of the wine, which it hopes to resell for charity under an obscure provision of state law that allows forfeited liquor “to be delivered to a hospital for its use.”

    Goldman, who admitted selling the wine to private enthusiasts, received a form of probation aimed at eventually clearing his record.

    State police moved ahead with plans to destroy the confiscated wine, which had been placed in an evidence room in Philadelphia.

    This criminal scum transgressed against The People’s Alcohol Monopoly. I don’t know how he can live with himself.

    1. One of the last things I got to do before I left Washington State was vote to privatize liquor sales. Even though they paid the voters back in spades with excise taxes, it was still worth it.

    2. I hope that hospital gets massive publicity blowback for that. You would have thought they’d learned something from all those forced, warrantless blood draws they did for the cops.

      1. They should designate the owner as their sales agent with a 100% commission.

    3. the hospital wants to sell the wine? sounds like a criminal conspiracy.

      1. They got permission from people who wear the right costumes.

      2. He should say that he pissed in one of the bottles.

  34. DC to open new school for minority boys, and by “minority”, they mean blacks and hispanics, but not Asians:


    segregation: it’s OK when Team Blue does it

    1. You know who else wanted to open special camps schools for minorities…

      1. Oliver O. Howard?

      2. I don’t know. I was the only white kid at my school.

    2. Democrats have come full circle, haven’t they? Pro-segregation in 1915, pro-segregation in 2015.

      1. Well, they’ve never budged from being pro-slavery, so I’ll give them credit for consistency.

    3. Someplace to warehouse them during the day with extra security. Like prison. Brilliant idea. Don’t expand charter schools or anything that’s a proven success. Just plow millions into another school with the same shitty union teachers.

    4. I believe blacks are the majority in DC as well. So “minority” is now officially just a code word for black.

      1. They’re most commonly referred to as “pot-smokers”.

    5. For the record, people should be free to set up schools with whatever admissions restrictions they want. But it is indeed hypocrisy and how this does not defy the same public accommodation laws that prevent white only schools from existing, I don’t know.

  35. Not that I really give a shit, but why couldn’t the Heather Has Two Mommies (or whatever) kid just show up for class and say, “I read it. It sucked.”?
    Not enough social preening and resume padding?

  36. Finally checked my investment accounts this morning… ugh…

    1. Markets back up.

      Don’t sweat it too much.


  37. I know I don’t live there anymore, but I still read the shitty Cleveland paper. How much does it cost not to be poor in Cleveland?

    In the Cleveland-Elyria-Mentor metro area a two-parent, two-child family needs to bring in $60,900 a year “to secure a decent, yet modest standard of living,” according to the Economic Policy Institute’s online family budget calculator released Wednesday.

    A single person needs $26,112 to live decently in the metro area that includes Cuyahoga, Geauga, Lake, Lorain and Medina counties.

    In the Akron metro area, which includes Summit and Portage counties, a family of four needs $61,498 a year. A single person needs $25,980.

    Wow. That’s cheap. The calculator is interesting.

    1. B-b-but.


      What about the living wage narrative!!!!???

      1. Well, you could still use that to argue for a minimum wage of $13.50, which is almost $15.

    2. EPI.org? Epi has his own think tank?

      1. What Epi calls his “think tank” is literally a tank – he bought a decommissioned Sherman at an auction a decade ago and he likes to sit in it sometimes and just ponder.

        1. This caused me to laugh out loud at work.

      2. it’s your mom’s favorite think tank

    3. a two-parent, two-child family needs to bring in $60,900 a year “to secure a decent, yet modest standard of living,”

      I don’t buy it. You can get by on much less than $60k a year for a family of 4. I see it done all the time (not specifically in Cleveland, but the point stands). $45k for a family of 4 certainly isn’t a luxurious existence, but it’s certainly doable in Cleveland and other rust belt cities, especially if one parent is at home taking care of reducing expenses. House, food, utilities, commute. Those are the only requirements for a “decent standard of living” in my book.

  38. Duke University freshman who refuses to read Fun Home tells his side of the story in a Washington Post op-ed.

    This is what happens when men lose their balls. I would’ve told them “Because I don’t want to – that’s why” as good enough of an explanation, notwithstanding Robby’s belief that not reading Fun House is akin to living in willful ignorance of the universe.

    Another fraternity was punished for putting up a sexually suggestive sign. I still don’t see what the big deal is.

    It is not like these are Neanderthals who stubbornly refuse to read Fun House. Right, Robby?

    1. It’s a COMIC BOOK!

      -Said in the same tone as the gal yelling at the scientist getting on the ship in “To Serve Man”.

    1. The IRS has no funds, anyway…

  39. First State Legalizes Taser Drones for Cops, Thanks to a Lobbyist
    North Dakota police will be free to fire “less than lethal” weapons from the air thanks to the influence of Big Drone.
    It is now legal for law enforcement in North Dakota to fly drones armed with everything from Tasers to tear gas thanks to a last-minute push by a pro-police lobbyist.

    With all the concern over the militarization of police in the past year, no one noticed that the state became the first in the union to allow police to equip drones with “less than lethal” weapons. House Bill 1328 wasn’t drafted that way, but then a lobbyist representing law enforcement?tight with a booming drone industry?got his hands on it.

    The bill’s stated intent was to require police to obtain a search warrant from a judge in order to use a drone to search for criminal evidence. In fact, the original draft of Rep. Rick Becker’s bill would have banned all weapons on police drones.

    Then Bruce Burkett of North Dakota Peace Officer’s Association was allowed by the state house committee to amend HB 1328 and limit the prohibition only to lethal weapons. “Less than lethal” weapons like rubber bullets, pepper spray, tear gas, sound cannons, and Tasers are therefore permitted on police drones.

    1. And don’t you dare defend yourself.

      A grand jury today indicted a New Jersey man on two felony charges for allegedly firing a shotgun at a hobbyist’s drone as it hovered near his residence last year.

      Russell Percenti, 33, is facing criminal mischief and possession of a firearm for an unlawful purpose charges. The latter count carries a maximum of ten years in prison, while Percenti could face up to 18 months on the lesser felony rap.

      Percenti, pictured at right, was arrested last September after Leonard Helbig reported that someone “shot his drone out of the air with a shotgun while he was taking pictures of a friend’s property that is under construction.”

      A subsequent police investigation determined that Percenti, a restaurant employee, shot at the drone while it flew near his family’s residence in Cape May County at New Jersey’s southern tip.

  40. “possession of a firearm for an unlawful purpose” is bullshit. But depending on the circumstances, i could see it properly considered a reckless act. At least it was a shotgun, minimizing danger to bystanders.

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