A.M. Links: Markets Continue to Recover, Obama Gives Biden 'Blessing,' Hispanics Hate Trump


  • It's almost like everybody knew this was going to happen and were prepared.
    Credit: Dreamstime

    Stock markets around the world are recovering already from yesterday's crashes. Except for China's stock market, of course.

  • President Barack Obama has given Vice President Joe Biden his "blessing" to run for president. That doesn't necessarily mean he's going to run. But top Democratic fundraisers have been invited to a meeting with him after Labor Day.
  • Hispanics have an extremely negative view of Donald Trump, worse than any other Republican candidate in the race by a factor of seven.
  • The IRS has found another personal email account former head Lois Lerner has used to conduct some business.
  • A Ferguson, Missouri, judge has announced massive judicial reforms that include withdrawing all arrest warrants administered prior to 2015, reinstating driver's licenses for defendants who lost them for not appearing in court or for being unable to pay fines, and alternative methods of dealing with penalties.

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    2. Unacceptably late. I’m considering sending a strongly worded letter.

      1. Your subscription, cancel it.

        1. Your subscription, cancel it.

          Better yet, I’m going to demand a one-year subscription, free of charge. Really, it’s the least they can do.

      2. Does that mean bold words or just bold font?

        1. Bold words, in italics. Really drives the point home.

          1. What, no underlining?

          2. Also, CAPITALIZATION and [BRACKETS]!!11!!

            1. G-d I miss Herc.

              1. This place has really gone downhill since he left. Our trolls these days are just pathetic. Did you see the derpfest last night?

    3. Hello.

      I slept in!

  2. Stock markets around the world are recovering already from yesterday’s crashes.

    Crisitunity for the Summer of Recovery to really shine.

    1. The economy is a success!

    2. The stocks I sold three weeks ago are still fifteen percent lower than when I sold them. Recovery from a quick dip doesn’t mean much if things keep trending lower over time.

  3. President Barack Obama has given Vice President Joe Biden his “blessing” to run for president.

    Fifth Bush term!

    1. Mighty white of him.

    2. You have to be careful with some of those Chicago-style “blessings” – a formal kiss on the cheek may not mean what you think it means.

      1. And when you get an encouragement to run from Obama, you might want to think in terms of how far and how fast.

        1. A Hellfire missile is a bitch to try to outrun.

  4. Husband of Jelly Belly CEO runs over friend with tank:


    1. Here’s a tip from Darwin – don’t ride on the front fender of a tank.

      1. There is a reason tankers call foot traffic … “crunchies”.

        1. I’ve always wondered what it sounds like when a person is run over by a tank or any other similarly massive tracked vehicle. I’m imagining a wet crunching noise, like if you carefully stuffed a sock full of eggs then slowly stepped on it.

          1. “Keep Karl away from heavy machinery. Check.

          2. From inside? Doesn’t sound like anything.

            1. From inside? Doesn’t sound like anything.

              Probably not. I imagine the crew compartment of a tank to be a very noisy place. Surely the clatter of an enormous diesel engine would drown out the sound entirely.

              1. The high pitched whine of the gas turbine is suprisingly quiet, but the clatter of the tracks (specifically, when you turn) can be heard for miles.

          3. I assumed that since the point of having the tracks is to distribute the weight over a broad area so as to allow the tank to traverse soft ground, getting run over by a tank would be less damaging than getting run over by a similar-sized wheeled vehicle. The tank treads not only distribute the weight of the tank over a larger area of tread, but the tread itself distributes the weight of the tank over a larger area of the body it’s passing over. (Not that having somethng that heavy running over your entire body is necessarily going to be any less deadly than having it run over just your head or just your spleen, but maybe. Maybe we should get Mythbusters to do a segment on this.)

            1. Rubber tracked maybe. Steel tracks tend to have more aggressive profiles that will tear you up.

            2. You make an excellent point with regard to the weight of a tank being distributed over a greater area, owing to its use of treads. Still, with tank treads, the weight of the vehicle will be on you for a greater amount of time. So while the initial “impulse” might be less than with a similarly sized wheeled vehcile, you’re still accepting the full weight of the vehicle, only it’s spread out over a longer duration (I’m not an engineer, so I am sure there’s a more accurate way to explain this). Also, as Lee G. mentions below, the “chew factor” that you get with tank treads would be missing if you opt for a wheeled vehicle. You simply don’t have all that machinery and gearing for arms and legs to get caught in.

            3. There is a gruesome picture on the Internet of a guy who got run over by a treaded vehicle (I think it was a bulldozer) in China. His skull has exploded and a remarkably intact brain is sitting on the pavement.

              1. His skull has exploded and a remarkably intact brain is sitting on the pavement.

                That’s gotta be a miracle of some sort.

      2. And don’t ride on the engine deck of a M1. That turbine is a hibachi.

    2. His belly has turned to jelly?

      1. His belly has turned to jelly?

        And the bones to powder, yes.

    3. Interestingly enough, my cousin owned a tank for a while. It was one of the Iraqi units that didn’t get melted during Desert Storm.

      1. Interestingly enough, my cousin owned a tank for a while. It was one of the Iraqi units that didn’t get melted during Desert Storm.

        I can see that being am awfully fun toy, but I bet the costs involved in keeping it fueled and maintined are astronomical. Their fuel consumption is measured in gallons per mile.

        1. He was always good at spending money. Not particularly good at making it.

          1. He was always good at spending money. Not particularly good at making it.

            Actually, when you think of it, a tank could pay for itself. Just offer rides for money, time at the controls for even more money. Might even come out ahead.

            1. Possibly. But I don’t think he was interested in working.

              1. Related – Tonka toys for big boys.

                I saw that on TV once. I’ve never operated heavy machinery like that. Looks like lots of fun.

                1. I’ve never operated heavy machinery like that.

                  Actually, I’ve run a locomotive on a couple occasions, so I guess that counts.

  5. The IRS has found another personal email account former head Lois Lerner has used to conduct some business.



    1. It is pretty much time to give up on a rogue IRS employee, Fast & Furious, BENGHAZI!, Solyndra, the birth certificate, and the college transcripts.

      Also Whitewater – give up on that one too.

      1. Nobody’s responsible and nobody’s accountable, so really, what difference does it make?


        2. She did it. She used her position to slow-walk Tea Party applications.

          Fire her already.

          Oh, she quit first.

          1. The Fall Guy has taken the fall. Move along, now. Nothing more to see.

            1. And here is where you go full blown nutcase Conspiracy Theory.

              Did Cheney plan 9/11 too?

              1. So, you’re saying that she just went rogue?

              2. Why are you here? After yesterdays short selling opportunity I figured you be villa shopping in the south of France?

              3. We already know she corresponded and collaborated with many other like-minded people, including the folks who went full-on Gestapo against Walker supporters in Wisconsin. A conspiracy doesn’t have to go all the way to the top to be a conspiracy (though it wouldn’t shock me if it went at least in the vicinity of the top).

                Also, you understand the difference between alleging that an American official conspired with foreign terrorists to murder thousands of people, and alleging that an American official conspired with another American official to wield official power in a corrupt fashion, yes? What am I saying, of course you don’t.

                1. Conflation is what shriek does best

            2. +1 Cris Carter

      2. Notice how turd is incapable of separating fact from fantasy. That’s what happens with an IQ in polar-temperature range.

    2. The IRS has found another personal email account former head Lois Lerner has used to conduct some business.

      And that’s why the winners keep their government emails hidden on private servers! #ImOnADrugItsCalledHillaryClinton

  6. The IRS has found another personal email account former head Lois Lerner has used to conduct some business.

    It’s like they’ve never audited anything before.

  7. A Woman Chugged a Bottle of Liquor Because She Couldn’t Take It on the Plane

    A Chinese woman who was making a connecting flight from Beijing to Wenzhou Friday was told by airport security that she could not take an expensive bottle of cognac, which she had bought from the U.S., onto the plane in her hand luggage as it was over 100 ml.

    Not wanting to let her $200 R?my Martin XO Excellence go to waste, the woman, surnamed Zhou, drank the entire bottle.

    Zhou became so intoxicated that she was found rolling on the floor and acting erratically at a boarding gate at Beijing Capital International Airport, reports the South China Morning Post.

    1. The article doesn’t say if she’s single, just curious.

    2. You’d think they could come up with a way to distinguish between a bottle of liquor and a bomb. I guess taking shit from people is more fun.

      I flew through Japan last year and they wouldn’t even let you take duty free liquor through onto a connecting flight.

      1. Yeah, I don’t think they give a fuck about finding bombs. They’re way more interested in finding good shit to steal.

      2. The killer is that you can simply pour that liquor into a number of 3 oz bottles, put them into a bag and waltz through security.

        Then on the other side, McD’s is nice enough to sell you a glass of ice for $0.88.

        Of course in the old days, you could just put an entire bottle in your carry on and make your own drinks for the entire flight. A nice tip to the stew to keep the ice coming and as long as you didn’t get too boisterous everything was good.

        Or so I’m told by a friend.

    3. My hero!

    4. A Woman Chugged a Bottle of Liquor Because She Couldn’t Take It on the Plane

      …Zhou became so intoxicated that she was found rolling on the floor and acting erratically at a boarding gate at Beijing Capital International Airport, reports the South China Morning Post.

      Well, that escalated quickly.

      1. I like the idea that she started ‘acting erratically’ after she drank the liquor because god knows nobody thinks chugging an entire $200 bottle of Remy is in any way odd behaviour to start with.

    5. I hate when that happens.

  8. …and alternative methods of dealing with penalties.

    Beating to death instead of shooting to death.

    1. TASERS!!!!!

  9. Will Joe Biden Have To Answer For His Heresy Against Liberals?

    So let’s for a moment imagine that Biden is a principled politician and wouldn’t say absolutely anything just to become president?this would be the third time he’d be running for the position. And let’s, for a moment, concede that Biden, after his flirtation with Elizabeth Warren and hiring of new staff, is the sort of candidate that can knock off the front-runner. But then let’s suspend our disbelief and pretend the media will hold the new candidate responsible for his previous positions and votes at least as strictly as they hold Marco Rubio accountable for his wife’s parking tickets.

    If they did, they would find that Joe Biden has had, in some sense, more consequential conservative votes on record than any candidate running for president from either party. Or a better way to put it: his greatest legacy is a lack of coherent philosophy and a ton of politically convenient grandstanding.

    1. I never knew Biden was a leader in imposing mandatory minimums, expanding asset forfeiture, and in general expanding the drug war. And here I thought he was jsut a harmless imbecile.

      1. Oh, yeah, he was bad on that stuff for a while. He had something to do with a law that defined passifiers and glow-sticks as drug paraphernalia in certain contexts.

      2. “And here I thought he was jsut a harmless imbecile”

        Not to the women he gropes.

        1. Not to the women he gropes.

          Ha, I hadn’t thought of that. Remember this gem?


      3. He’s not harmless, and it’s probably a stretch to call him an imbecile. He is usually able to articulate complete sentences, so he’s probably a moron.

        1. He is usually able to articulate complete sentences, so he’s probably a moron.

          That’s only a slight step up, so I’ll spot him that.

          Moron it is.

          1. Well, he can articulate complete sentences if someone else has used the sentence first.

            1. Well, he can articulate complete sentences if someone else has used the sentence first.

              Of course, how any politician on the national stage thinks he can get away with plagiarism, especially in the Internet era, is beyond me. So maybe he’s worse than an imbecile; maybe he’s a full-on idiot.

      4. Now, if the GOP had any guts or any brains, they’d run on that and point out how Biden’s (and Sander’s!) votes for those bills has resulted in more incarcerations of blacks.

    2. Like every Democrat in Congress in the 80’s, Biden did some serious compromising with Reagan while still acting like a complete asshole at every opportunity.

    3. Bernie Sanders voted for the Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994, as did John Kasich. The majority of Republicans opposed the bill and rode that opposition into taking over the House in the fall elections.

      1. It should be noted that a key feature of this 1994 Clinton initiative was the addition of 100000 cops, mostly to patrol urban areas where they are now so well liked.

        1. Worth noting that the federal funding for the 100,000 cops was adamantly opposed by Republicans in congress as both an un-funded mandate (once the initial grant ran out) and as federal intrusion into local law enforcement.

      2. It should also be noted that Joe Biden wrote the damn thing.

    4. his greatest legacy is a lack of coherent philosophy and a ton of politically convenient grandstanding.

      So he’ll fit right in with most of the current candidates.

  10. Odd, I am getting a Honda ad to the right of the comments…in Spanish.


    1. Dey took my adblockerz

    2. Messicans get special adblockers that they’ll use to take over the US!

      1. First the guns, and now the car ads! WHAT WILL THEY TAKE NEXT?!?!?!?!

        1. Our pot butt women.

          1. MONSTERS!

    3. Odd, I am getting a Honda ad to the right of the comments…in Spanish.

      Oh, so I suppose you think they should all be driving ’64 Impalas, is that it?



    4. Swiss verlangt Internetwerbung auf Deutsch!

  11. I would never date a man who hates Beyonc?

    I am a gay black man from Houston, Texas. Beyonc? is my Lord and gyrator. She is the beginning, end and body roll to me

    However, as an original member of the #Beyhive (its editorial director, if you will), I’ve long known that some people will fight a good thing. So I gave some men the benefit of the doubt, thinking that I could help them blossom into Beyonc? lovers ? starting with the B’Day album. Because seriously, how can you not like Beyonc?? To me, if you don’t love Beyonc?, you don’t love yourself. You don’t have to be a super fan, but if you don’t like at least five Beyonc? songs, I don’t trust your judgment.

    That sounds crazy to Beyonc? deniers, whom I refer to as Beythiests. Often times, these folks are the types who want to be “different.” Contrarians for sport are right up there with Donald Trump supporters as some of the worst types of humans. They tend to want attention and have some desperate longing to feel special.

    1. I thought a god share of Donald Trump supporters were contrarians for sport.

    2. They tend to want attention and have some desperate longing to feel special.

      Dude needs to look in the mirror.

      1. I suspect he does…rather a lot, actually.

    3. I read the comments and was more or less enjoying them until this

      The one high point of the concert was seeing the French crowd go wild when she sang the Etta James cover “At Last” with images of Obama projected behind her. Still chokes me up.

      I have a feeling that image will plague me for a long time to come

      1. Totally not a personality cult.

        1. Exactly.

    4. The crap that makes it in the papers now.

      Holy shit. Makes me wonder at the quality of minds in the editorial room.

    5. Wait, he runs some sort of Beyonce fan club and I’m the attention whore? Well this will blow his mind: I have no opinion on her whatsoever. She’s neither awful nor wonderful.

      1. Beygnostic!

        1. *applause*

      2. Who is she?

        1. Jay-Z’s ho

    6. There was an SNL skit about how secret agents will come for you if you say anything bad about beyonce or her music. It was a fake movie trailer called “The Beygency”.

  12. All Western markets are surging after China cut interest rates, but Asia is still fucked. Japan’s market fell to the lowest point in 18 months and China’s back to where it was in early December after falling another 7.6%.

    1. Does this take the Evil Chinese Jobs Thieves arrow out of the GOP’s collective quiver? Can we finally focus on the real problem with America’s economy, the Mexican menace?


        1. Millions of Chineses come to this country to have babies so that their babies can get citizenship. Years later, after those babies become adults they will come to America and destroy our way of life, take our women, and use the Second Amendment to overthrow the government.

          But you think that’s funny.

          1. I went back and read that thread from last night. I really wish I hadn’t.

  13. I’m kind of amazed to be saying this, but I really hope Biden runs. Both for entertainment, and honestly, because he is probably the least horrifying potential candidate likely to get much attention, assuming Rand Paul doesn’t get it together in a big way.

    1. He would receive my lesser of two evils endorsement against all the D’s and a majority of R’s.

      1. For me, that vote goes to Paul, followed by Jim Webb.

        1. I’m voting for myself followed by Almanian, followed by Cthulhu.

          1. I thought they were on the same ticket?

            1. Well that makes my choice easier. Cthulhu/Almanian 2016!!!

          2. I’m still sticking with Deez Nuts.

          3. VOTE SWEET METEOR OF DEATH 2016!

            The Precambrian Conservative: I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is an extinction level impact event!

    2. The Hillary shitfit alone would be worth it.

        1. I can’t see her settling for that. Not without a succession plan, if you know what I mean.

          1. Nobody who values the ability to continue breathing nominates Hillary as Veep.

        2. Joe/Beth 2016. Can’t get more folksy and populist and for-the-little-guy than that.

      1. The attack ads featuring photos of Uncle Joe creeping on various women would be especially priceless, coming from a Clinton.

  14. Somali day care fraud cases piling up in Minnesota

    Since the Minnesota Department of Health and Human Services (DHS) fully-staffed their new child care fraud investigative unit in the spring of 2014, they’ve worked with the FBI to shutter daycare centers around the state. Of the cases that have hit the news since then, all have involved Somali-run businesses.

    Khadra Abdisafad Hirsi, 47, was the director and co-owner of Ace Daycare Center in Eden Prairie. In February, Hirsi pleaded guilty to knowingly submitting fraudulent claims to the state of Minnesota’s Child Care Assistance Program. From November of 2011-May of 2013, Hirisi inflated the number of children using her daycare’s services and fraudulently obtained $300,000 in payments from the state of Minnesota and the U.S. Departments of Health and Human Services. Earlier this month Hirsi was sentenced to one year and one day in federal prison and ordered to pay $300,000 in restitution.

    something something roads?

    1. LIBETOPIA!!!

    2. Maybe there is a way for the Minneapolis Somalis to productively combine their initiatives in human trafficking and day care fraud. Synergy!

    3. Give the Somali’s credit, they have completely assimilated to living in the US.

      By my estimate, they have at least 2 spokesmen for every 3 Somali immigrants. Nothing happens to a Somali where you don’t see at least 8 different PR flacks for some Somali groups bemoaning how this could happen to them.

      They successfully got Target to accommodate their insane demand that cashiers don’t have to touch pork products.

      Not surprising that these folk discovered that the govt was stupid enough to send them free money and took advantage of it.

  15. Hispanics have an extremely negative view of Donald Trump…

    They recognize him for the big government liberal that he is?

    1. Reason leaves out that Hillary has a much better favorable rating then even Bush. So the more Hispanics in the country the more they will vote Democratic. Even Bush talking Spanish all day and marrying a Hispanic does not help enough.

    2. It’s because they’re all rapists, if I understand The Donald’s position correctly.

      1. Only Mexicans, I think.

      2. Some of them, i assume, are good people.

        1. WHO’S DOING THE RAPING?!?

  16. Dozens of witnesses see the Antichrist hovering over Los Angeles

    Our infernal master, Satan, has sent out his first-born son, the Antichrist, in a move which may well herald the end of the world.

    That’s the perfectly reasonable conclusion of one UFO fan, after seeing a strange flying humanoid over LA last week.

    Many of us might conclude that this was a Michelin-man-style inflatable ? but no, it’s more likely to be the Antichrist, or perhaps a shape-shifting alien.

    One UFO fan said that the apparition, filmed hovering over LA by three UFO fans, recalled Project Blue Beam ? a conspiracy theory where NASA uses the antichrist to start a new religion.

    1. Most Satanist are just lefty assholes who worship government. Even the Prince of Darkness can’t stand them apparently.

      1. Anton Levey’s The Church of Satan is actually an Objectivist organization based on Ayn Rand.

        The Satanic Temple is mostly just lefty hipsters, although they’ve had some pretty funny performance art, like the time they held a Pink Mass at Fred Phelps’ mother’s grave and claimed that they turned her gay in the afterlife. That’s good trolling.

        1. There was a dude at the IOS seminars in the 1990s hawking this shit.

      2. Wait – did Ozzie weigh in on this?

    2. Fun fact: “Antichrist” as people think the Bible uses it and “antichrist” as the Bible uses it have different meanings.

      1. Facts? What are those.

          1. Well, thanks, but I was speaking rhetorically.

            1. I’m not familiar with that term.

              1. the art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing, especially the use of figures of speech and other compositional techniques.

                1. And stop calling me Shirley!

    3. It’s actually the Staypuft Marshmallow Man. Gozer the destructor has returned!

      1. What did you do Ray?

    4. a conspiracy theory where NASA uses the antichrist to start a new religion

      Wasn’t that a Heinlein novel?

  17. Jeb Bush “I wasn’t talking about my beloved fellow Hispanics. I was talking about those filthy Asians”. God what a train wreck he is. Worst candidate ever.


    1. He was referring to the panda babies.
      Just a dog whistle to the Anti-Pandaite crew.

    2. Asian anchor babies matter, but Hispanic anchor babies don’t matter.

      I thought all anchor babies matter.

  18. ‘This is so freaking mean’: Outraged Caitlyn Jenner fans take to Twitter after Halloween retailer launches costume based on the star’s Vanity Fair look

    Spirit Halloween revealed plans to launch the Caitlyn costume
    The outfit has since become available to buy online at Anytime Costumes
    Fans and members of transgender community voiced outrage on Twitter
    A petition has been launched to have the costume removed from stores

    Tolerance in action.

    1. Aren’t there tons of costumes based on celebrities? Why does Caitlyn Jenner deserve special treatment? What happened to equality?

      1. That costume is intolerant, and tolerant people do not tolerate intolerance.

    2. You wouldn’t know what it’s like being me! Stop trying to look like me!

    3. Was Jenner consulted for this costume and approved of it? I’m pretty sure a celebrity like that has some copyright over their image and likeness that would prevent Spirit doing this unless it was purposefully a parody (which they explicitly stated it wasn’t).

      1. Likeness rights rarely extend to stopping parody, and you do not have to state parody. They would stomp on Jenner in a lawsuit.

        1. No, I understand likeness rights don’t extend to parodies. I’m saying that Spirit has been explicitly stating in media releases that this costume isn’t a parody. They are saying it is a serious costume meant to honor Jenner for coming out as transsexual.

    4. Please please please Caitlyn go on your show, display a sense of humor, and make these stupid people’s heads explode. It is time to put a stop to this insanity.

    5. Does a summons for a vehicular manslaughter charge come as an option?

  19. is this an appropriate use of quotes?

    Ashley Madison: ‘Suicides’ over website hack

    Two individuals associated with the leak of Ashley Madison customer details are reported to have taken their lives, according to police in Canada.

    The police in Toronto gave no further information about the deaths.

    Ashley Madison’s Canadian parent company Avid Life Media is offering a C$500,000 (?240,000) reward for information on the hackers, they added.

    Details of more than 33m accounts were stolen from the website, which offers users the chance to have an affair.

    1. Holy cow, 33 million users?!?

      1. Remember prostitutes, porn sites, and scammers all have multiple accounts.

      2. 33 millions “accounts”. 30 million of those belonged to Jared Fogle, so…

      3. How many signed up out of curiosity because it’s free and then never used it because it is an obvious scam?

        1. I did not know that, also the multiple accounts thing. I just thought “if everybody is cheating then why does anyone get married?”.

        2. Certainly me, but even then I used an email registered for that purpose.

          Some of the data that’s come out is interesting. Appears to be quite big in Italy, I don’t see why they even need it.

          1. Isn’t it basically the Italian version of Facebook?

        3. Exactly.

          Also, I think the hackers are wrong on this one.

          And people who keep saying ‘they have no sympathy’ for the users are missing the point.

          It’s none of their effen business what people do (who knows why people sign up? I bet most is just for curiosity more than anything. I would love to know how many actually follow through). Moreover, do they feel better in their self-righteous indignant posturing that it ruins people’s lives? Let things unfold as they must but outing them is not helpful.

          Hackers should put their talents to work elsewhere and let people who take this route alone.

          1. It is weird the piling on for any kind of internet shaming or humiliation.

            These are the people that used to attend public executions.

          2. who knows why people sign up?

            In Biden’s son’s case, they do so because they are enemies of America, at least according to Biden’s son.

          3. I’ve known more than a few people in open relationships who had accounts there because it is one of the few places you can specifically advertise you’re looking for people to come join you and your spouse for funtime activities.

            Course those folks probably are more worried about their credit card info being stolen than their personal info being released to their spouses

            1. There is that too. Not all extra-marital sex is cheating or a betrayal. People should mind their own damn business.

              1. So long as marriage is sanctioned by the state, it’s everyone’s business when married people cheat.

              2. I don’t think people on there with their partners’ knowledge are going to have trouble from their spouses, though…

          4. Married people enjoy a wide range of perks, benefits, and tax breaks paid for by those of us who don’t believe in marriage. Married people who sign up for Ashley Madison (or cheat in general) are committing fraud and forcing others to subsidize their lifestyles. Plus, cheating is NOT a victimless crime because it exposes their unwitting partner to all types of risks that they never agreed to.

            1. ooooo… a welfare fraud angle. interesting

            2. You sound like some kind of goddamn communist.

        4. It’s free? I’m signing up now.

    2. I think the point is that at this point it’s just on the cops’ word that there have been any suicides.

    3. 2 out of 33,000,000, you say?

      The general population has a per capita suicide rate of 10 per 100,000.

      Ashley Madison members have a per capita suicide rate of .000007 per 100,000.

      Statistically, Ashley Madison members are significantly happier than everyone.

  20. Billionaires Wanted to Fund Private Mars Colony

    The Netherlands-based nonprofit Mars One aims to establish a permanent settlement on the Red Planet, beginning with the touchdown of the first four pioneers in 2027. The biggest challenges facing the project are financial rather than technical, so a big donation from a deep-pocketed person concerned about his or her legacy could make a huge difference, Mars One representatives said.

    Mars One “is so ambitious and ? I think ‘crazy’ is the right word ? that we might actually get a phone call from a billionaire who says, ‘I want to make this happen. I want the first city on Mars to be called Gatesville or Slim City,” said Mars One co-founder and CEO Bas Lansdorp, presumably referring to Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates and Mexican tycoon Carlos Slim Helu.


      1. Re: Florida Man,

        Is Carlos Lebanese?

        A great deal of Mexican tycoons are of Lebanese ascendancy. A great number of Lebanese and Palestinian Christians and Jews migrated to Mexico and South America during the great diaspora of the late 19th Century. From them we received not only great talent for business but also the delicious tacos al pastor (tacos made shepherd-style, derived from the shawarma style of preparing beef or lamb, except these tacos are filled with slow-grilled pork.) We also received from the Lebanese and Palestinians their kibbe (a ground beef-filled croquette) and filled cabbage and filled grapevine leaf recipes. Yummy!

      2. Yes.

        Slim was born on January 28, 1940, in Mexico City, Mexico,[18] to Maronite Catholic parents, Juli?n Slim Haddad and Linda Hel? Atta, both of Lebanese descent.[19][20][21] His father, born Khalil Salim Haddad Aglamaz, emigrated to Mexico from Lebanon (then part of the Ottoman Empire) at the age of 14 in 1902 and changed his name to Juli?n Slim Haddad.

    1. Mars chocolate is missing a massive ad opportunity here.

    2. Billionaires Wanted to Fund Private Mars Colony

      Wanted, or want? Because as far as I can discern, the billionaires haven’t changed their minds yet.

  21. Boy, 2, born with THREE penises due to incredibly rare condition has surgery to remove the extra appendages

    Boy, from Uttar Pradesh, had two penises and one ‘soft, bony mass’
    Was taken to Sion hospital in Mumbai to for the 6-hour corrective operation
    The working penises were fused into one and an anal path was created
    Doctors said he will be able to have sex and his fertility will not be affected

    He’s going to hate his parents some day.

    1. One massive piece or 3 little ones?

      1. I dunno. Ask Warty.

    2. On the checklist in the birth room they had taped to the machine that goes ping, the third item was “verify anus”. It surprised me that it came up often enough to have it on the list.

      1. It’s a miserable life if you can’t shit.

  22. Man Who Spent $100K to Look Like Justin Bieber is Reportedly Missing

    Tobias Strebel, who famously claimed to have spent over $100,000 on plastic surgery to look like Justin Bieber, is missing.

    The 35-year-old was reported missing on Aug. 18, according to People. He was last seen on the 1700 block of North Orange Grove Ave. in West Hollywood, California.

    1. So is this like with Saddam Hussein’s body doubles where they existed to ward off assassination, or what?

      1. In Bieber’s case deportation.

      2. No, just a crazy person.

  23. Silence of the kangaroos! Aussie cyclist films the ‘terrifying’ moment he rides slowly through a field of the motionless animals as they stare down their unwelcome visitor

    A Victorian cyclist filmed his journey through a mob of scary kangaroos
    Ben Vezina was riding through Hawkstone Park, 23km from Melbourne
    ‘I’m going to be honest, I’m a little bit terrified,’ he whispered
    Grey eastern kangaroos thrive in the fertile landscape of Victoria


    1. You came to the wrong neighborhood, white boy.

    2. Who thinks of Hoppy every time you see a kanagroo?

      Come on. Admit it.

      We’ve all been impacted permanently my Looney Tunes and The Flintstones for that matter.

      1. by

    3. Speaking of roos, if you want a creepy 1970’s movie that features them and a raging drunk Donald Pleasance you can do no better than ‘Wake in Fright”.


  24. There Is (Still) No Alternative

    When Senator Bernie Sanders describes himself as a socialist and his critics point queasily to such socialist experiments as those in Cuba and North Korea, the response is always predictably the same: No, no: democratic socialism. But of course Boss Hugo advanced through the democratic process (when he wasn’t attempting coups d’?tat) and Maduro’s rule was confirmed in a special election. Perhaps he even legitimately won that election; regardless, he is stacking the deck this time around by ensuring that those who might challenge him are sitting on the sidelines or languishing in prison.

    1. Socialist policies work when you sprinkle on some magical “Will of the People” dust.

    2. Nothing says democratic like having an election where the economic system is already determined.

    3. One of those guys languishing in prison is now the most popular politician in the country, so it should be interesting if he wins an election from a jail cell. I think Maduro would then take the mask off and just overthrow the government militarily…for the greater good.

      1. I think he will just adopt a Tulpa argument. Until the winner of the election appears to take the oath of office Madura is president; and prisoners aren’t allowed to leave the prison until their term is up. The election wasn’t stolen! Power wasn’t seized! The guy hasn’t showed up to be inaugurated yet!

    4. Things nobody needs, courtesy of Bernie:

      more than 7 rounds
      23 brands of deodorant
      toilet paper
      cooking oil

      1. I for one look forward to my free government-issued low-flow bidet.

        The “Biden bidet” — catchy

      2. Also, capitalism

      3. In France, nobody needs more than 3 rounds.

    5. Even the more successful examples of more democratic socialism, like Sweden, have been moving away from a lot of the real socialism. Seems an odd time for the American left to decide that we need to try what they have already found not to work so well in the long run.

      1. Like he says in the article, it’s a bit disengenous to call Sweden socialist. It’s more like Germany, capitalist with a giant welfare state.

        1. I thought they dabbled with some government ownership of industry for a while. Maybe the UK is a better example of how well that works out.

          1. If you look at the economic history of Sweden they make a good case for free markets. They were a complete poverty stricken backwater of Europe in the early 19th century, they embraced trade and classical liberal economics and transformed to one of the highest qualities of life on the planet. That lasted until the last 1960’s when they started to go full on lefty with very high taxation and a robust welfare state. In the past decade or so they have dialed this back considerable and seen their economy start to rebound.

            1. If you look at the history of Sweden, it makes an even better case for staying out of other people’s wars. Sweden sat it out during WW I and WW II. Its real capital grew rather than being devastated in the teens and again in the forties like the rest of Europe. As a result, they were very well situated to profit in the rebuilding of Europe.

              Norway is a little bit different, though. It makes a great case for being situated on a vast reservoir of oil.

              1. Norway is a little bit different, though. It makes a great case for being situated on a vast reservoir of oil.

                Tell me and my hundreds of princes about it!
                /Saudi king

              2. Isn’t Norway actually pretty good about not funding their government with oil money. I’d heard before that they basically tied it all up in a safe because they were terrified of crashing their economy if all that money flowed into it.

            2. According to the movie Homo Sapiens 1900, Sweden’s welfare state started in the early 20th century for the purpose of identifying the fittest members of society and providing them with money to outbreed the lesser sort.

      2. But, but, but… Inequality! Corporate power! Living wage!

      3. Bernies supporters are the Occupy Wall Street crowd. They are incoherent losers who are mad at the system and don’t know a fucking thing about how to improve it.

        See also – the Trump crowd. Just replace OWS with “Tea Party”.

        1. I knew I saw you at one of his rallies.

  25. It’s not a loss until you take it.

  26. The People’s Bank of China (PBOC) said it was cutting the one-year benchmark bank lending rate by 25 basis points to 4.6 percent, cutting one-year benchmark deposit rates by the same amount, and reducing reserve requirements (RRR) by 50 basis points to 18 percent for most big banks. .


    Wow, the Reds don’t let their banks fuck around. 18% reserves! Murray Rothbard would be proud!

    1. reducing reserve requirements […] to 18%”

      Help me appreciate your sarcasm here because you don’t seem to be making any sense. I’m sure that’s just a fluke…

      1. 18% reserve requirements are considered very high by US standards. And iirc, Rothbard supported full reserve.

        1. Re: Peter Caca,

          18% reserve requirements are considered very high by US standards.

          So what you’re saying is that there’s something Rothbardian about not going all the way down to 10% reserve requirements?

          That is certainly a way of seeing things.

        2. Yes, Rothbard supported full reserves, that necessarily means he would not have celebrated a reduction in reserve requirements. Thus, you don’t make any sense.

          1. But ostensibly Rothbard would prefer 18% over our single digit tiered reserve requirement.

            1. And he’d prefer .001% to none at all, it doesn’t mean “Rothbard would be proud” or that the Chinese aren’t “letting their banks fuck around”, they reduced reserve requirements, they didn’t increase them. That necessarily implies they are letting them fuck around.

              Clearly you’re confused about a couple things and you have been made aware of this and yet you double down on it, in typical Shreek fashion.

  27. this is a few days old and maybe I missed it but here we go:

    What If Stalin Had Computers?

    The book really comes into its own when Mason addresses the possibilities of contemporary planning. He does not go as far as to endorse “cyber Stalinism” but at the very least poses its thesis: What if the problem with the Soviet Union was that it was too early? What if our computer processing power and behavioral data are developed enough now that central planning could outperform the market when it comes to the distribution of goods and services?

    “Imagine if Walmart or Tesco were prepared to publish their customer data (suitably anonymized) for free,” Mason writes. “Society would benefit: everybody from farmers to epidemiologists could mine the data, and make more accurate decisions.” This is just the beginning; remaking productive machinery in the collective interest means driving necessary labor down as far as possible with data analytics and self-management. Why can’t a meatpacking factory function like a web startup, with room for autonomy and achievement targets instead of required hours? It’s fun to imagine how we could do better than capitalism if we all decided to, especially if no one had to worry about creating and maintaining false scarcity around info-tech goods.

    1. It will work this time because the only problem with planned economies was information not the inherent self interest of people and them gaming the system or anything.

      1. And it still doesn’t solve the information problem, unless they’re presuming this computer system will read people’s minds and somehow translate the subjective value they place on goods and services and then somehow beam that information into the minds of producers and consumers alike.

        1. Exactly.
          It’s not the *processing* of the info that’s the problem.

      2. I think we can class the problem as being about information.

        To optimally allocate resources, and individual has to
        a) know what he wants
        b) know what he has
        c) know how to manipulate (b) to satisfy (a)

        These people assume that the failures of socialism are due to the top men not having adequate access to (b). They assume that the top men have a great sense of (a) because the top men – naturlich – know what is best for us.

        But, this is not the case. The top men can be wrong (think IBM’s CEO in the 40’s pegging the world computer market at 3 maybe 4 computers). Anyone who has dealt with SAP in the enterprise will laugh uproariously at the thought that computers can tell us accurately what we have.

        And last but not least, a handful of top men will not have the imagination and innovation that millions of people trying to best use limited resources at their command to acheive their unique desired ends.

        And then there is the issue of gaming the system which you bring up. People don’t stop having goals or controlling resources under a socialist system. Look at Soviet era hospitals who discharged really sick patients so that should they die they wouldn’t count against the hospital’s fatality rate – resulting in some number sick people who would have recovered with proper care dying unnecessarily.

        All a computer allows a person to do is to crunch numbers faster and store more information as an input for the crunching.

        1. Anyone who has dealt with SAP in the enterprise will laugh uproariously at the thought that computers can tell us accurately what we have.

          Heh, yeah. I can confirm that.

    2. I for one will welcome our new Commubot overlords.

    3. What if our computer processing power and behavioral data are developed enough now that central planning could outperform the market when it comes to the distribution of goods and services?

      Wasn’t this tried before?

      Oh, it will be different this time? Good to know.

      1. You can’t fool me – that’s from the set of Space:1999.

      2. Looks more like the Waiting Room in the Aperture Labs Research Center from Portal

    4. Think of how easy it would have been to sniff out all the wreckers and Kulaks!

      1. The New Republic Author is at least skeptical of the claims, but is still a moron:

        In Mason’s telling, postcapitalism involves an abundance of resources, including free time. Without capitalism’s wastefulness, we can refashion the world to allow human potential and creativity to blossom. It’s an enjoyable thought experiment, but capitalists are not looking to make a deal. Given the choice, I have no doubt that the ownership class will literally abandon the planet Earth before they surrender capitalism. Bosses no longer negotiate with organized labor if they can avoid it; they’d rather make a blanket offer to all workers as individuals: Work and/or starve. Violence and coercion don’t play much of a role in Postcapitalism, but that’s not true of capitalism. Huge, advanced police forces ensure this is the deal whether people “accept” it (as Mason says) or not.


          I recognized that name and couldn’t figure out from where, but then I remembered. He’s the fascist dipshit who wrote an article for Al Jazeera supporting people who violently attacked a peacefully congregating white nationalist group. They were racists, therefore it was okay to try and murder them all, according to Harris:

          On Jan. 22, Jason Hammond accepted a noncooperating plea deal from prosecutors in Cook County, Illinois: He will serve 41 months for his role in an organized assault on a casual dining establishment in the Chicago suburb of Tinley Park. On May 19, 2012, Hammond and 17 others stormed the Ashford House restaurant with bats and hammers, interrupting lunch and leaving 10 people injured. But instead of years in jail, America should perhaps consider sending Hammond a thank-you card.

          And this gibbering idiot is the one whining about how violent capitalism is as he actively supports the fascist suppression of dissent through violence.

          1. Some things are so true they need to be invented.

        2. Without capitalism’s wastefulness

          As opposed to the efficiency of socialism? Communism? Fascism? I wish he’d bother to name an economic system that’s more efficient and contributes more to human well being than capitalism and I’ll try not to laugh.

          1. At bottom their preference is feudalism: the population sharply reduced and living as subsistence farmers while providing taxes for the Top Men who lord over them.

            1. Feudalism gets a bad rap. It’s not the same thing as serfdom or manorialism, which is basically what you just described. Feudalism is more about the relationship between landholders with differing ranks, stations and duties et cetera. Taxation doesn’t even necessarily exist in a feudal relationship.

          2. They are defining efficiency differently then we would. Duplication of production is wasteful, competition is wasteful in their eyes. It is a diffetence in premises that is not reconcilable.

            1. This. It’s been disproven over and over again, but they still persist.

            2. It is why Sanders somehow thinks having a variety of choices in deodorant correlates to children going hungry.

            3. Duplication of production is wasteful

              I remember believing that… like, in middle school.

        3. Why would it matter if the ownership class abandoned earth? If the knowledge and technology exist there should be no reason that those left behind can’t recreate what was lost when those guys left.

        4. “Without capitalism’s wastefulness…”

          Yeah. Right. This is the most retarded and ignorant statement I’ve read in a long time.

          I had first hand experience with the petroleum refining industry in socialist East Europe. There were East German refineries that actually subtracted value from their crude oil inputs. The free market value of their product was literally less than the free market value of their raw materials. I have no doubt that this happened in other industries as well.

          There is, no doubt, waste in any economic activity. However, without free markets, waste will multiply at every single stage of production.

          “[W]e can refashion the world to allow human potential and creativity to blossom” is sophomoric utopian Marxism from Marx’s early philosophical musings about alienation.

    5. Send this bozo to information theory 101…

    6. If Stalin had computers he would have been able to digitize and encrypt all of those dossiers he kept in his furniture. Then he could search them at will and more carefully select candidates for his next purge.

    7. I think the computer science term for this is “garbage in, garbage out.”

    8. We already have that with energy “markets” in the US. It’s not nearly as good as an actual market, and it is actually at least applying micro-econ principles.

      Besides, all this shit the guy is talking about is still capitalism. Everything is fucking capitalism (corporate capitalism, state capitalism, distributed capitalism), because capital is the dominant factor of production and that will only become more the case as our technology grows and our labor remains what it always was.

    9. What are the odds that this guy has any idea of who von Mises was? Or that Hayek wrote something other than Road to Serfdom and The Constitution of Liberty?

    10. “Society would benefit: everybody from farmers to epidemiologists could mine the data, and make more accurate decisions.”

      “Why can’t a meatpacking factory function like a web startup, with room for autonomy ”

      Autonomy? Decisions? You can’t make economic decisions for the factors of production as an individual actor in a socialist economy. This guy is an idiot.

  28. I have always laughed at people who think China is a threat to the U.S. They have a stock bubble,a real estate bubble,spend half of their defence buget on internal security.corruption is rampant,their navy is very small compared to the U.S. navy,and their eonomy is based on selling goods in large part to us. The average income is just over 6000$,so most people are poor.You can cut the air with a knife in the cities.As for ‘calling in their loans to the U.S’,it’s mostly in T bills,and you can’t piss off a big customer when your econony is based on selling to them.

    1. I have always laughed at people who talk about how great China is and how fucked Japan is. Not that Japan is roses but it’s one of the wealthiest countries in the world, and very wealthy for how big it is. If I had to move, I’d choose which country is well off now rather than everyone’s century-long timelines which are usually based on left leaning biases anyway.

      1. Japan and Italy always impressed me.

        No resources but they managed some interesting economic successes.

    2. “.As for ‘calling in their loans to the U.S’,it’s mostly in T bills”


      If you owe the bank $100,000 you have a problem
      If you owe the bank $100,000,000 the bank has a problem

      China couldn’t “just call the loans” because we’d just repudiate them and that would break China’s economy while only mildly discomforting ours and they lack anywhere near the military muscle needed to threaten us

      1. Its a MAD scenario.

        The ChiComs could totally crash the Treasury market, and thus the dollar and the US economy, by dumping their debt.

        But, they have less of a design margin for the worldwide economic catastrophe that would result, so they don’t.

  29. Work in BigTech for Hire: Americans Need Not Apply

    In the case of OPTs, however, this “wage floor” isn’t even available; being recent graduates, they’re all young (and cheap). Further, OPT participants are even cheaper to employ because, as stated earlier, aliens on student visas are exempted from Social Security and Medicare.

    Fundamentally, the OPT program, like H-1B, allows BigTech firms to flood the labor market, creating artificial competition and pressuring the standard of living we’ve earned through decades of hard-fought democratic and labor reforms. The cost savings, meanwhile, get siphoned up by private technology firms, many of which grew out of taxpayer-funded military programs.

    1. “…the standard of living we’ve earned through decades of hard-fought democratic and labor reforms…”

      Yeah, when I think of a regulator backed by guns, ‘earning’ is not really how that ‘standard of living’ came about.

  30. Group of black women kicked off Napa wine train after laughing too loud

    Another passenger scolded the women, saying, “This is not a bar,” according to Johnson’s Facebook page.

    Train workers told the women that they had to leave because they were too loud. About 1 p.m., they were met by police officers and given a bus ride back to the station.

    Johnson blames racial bias ? all but one of the book club members on the train are African American. The hashtag #laughingwhileblack, which Johnson used on her Facebook page, has taken off on social media, with many vowing to boycott the wine train.

    Did they think they were in a movie theater or something?

    1. +1

    2. I’m not saying it again. Swiss already gave me a new *narrow gaze* on the other thread.

        1. Stand back. He’s got a narrow gaze and he’ll use it!

  31. WTF? Salon

    The real bully in The Karate Kid isn’t a Cobra Kai ? it’s that insecure sociopath Daniel LaRusso

    Reading “against the grain,” as the practice is often called, is why Dickens novels in which the narrative vehemently militates against the legitimacy of child labor become cultural artifacts complicit in its perpetuation, or anti-fascist, feminist utopian novels are revealed to be fascist, anti-feminist dystopian fictions.

    All of which is only to say that as someone with a Ph.D. in English Literature, I pretty much find these paint-by-number acts of analytic contrarianism just as formulaic as the interpretations they aim to displace. But occasionally I stumble across one so compelling that I’m brought right back to those heady days of reflexive contrarian thinking and all I can do is sit back and start the slow-clap.

    1. SWEEP THE LEG!!

      1. SWEEP THE LABOR!!

    2. This fall on Fox, it’s Scott Eric Kaufman, Ph.D: The writer who tries way too hard.”

    3. Meh. Still better than the “everyone who ever did anything noteworthy was actually gay” critical fad.

    4. as someone with a Ph.D. in English Literature

      Stop waxing it already, you’ll wear it out.

    5. which the narrative vehemently militates against the legitimacy of child labor become cultural artifacts complicit in its perpetuation

      Who has ever used Dickens as justification for continuing child labor?

    6. This was a running gag on How I Met Your Mother.

      1. Exactly – totally unoriginal. William Zabka even came to Barney’s wedding.

  32. Football, brain injuries and right-wing denial: The paranoid he-man propaganda that insists the game is safer than ever

    It came as something of a surprise, then, when I was informed, a few minutes before air-time, that the other guest on the show would be Daniel J. Flynn, the author of a 2013 book called “The War on Football: Saving America’s Game” and the sports editor at the right-wing website Breitbart.com.

    Flynn’s argument, obviously, is that football?and by extension masculine virtue?is under assault from the liberal media, greedy lawyers and doctors, and sissified citizens, all of whom have conspired to manufacture a Big Lie: that playing football is dangerous. In fact, football is safer than it’s ever been!

    Flynn makes at least one important point in his book?that the emergent medical research regarding the dangers of football are not yet fully understood, and thus shouldn’t be overstated. The rest is largely paranoid he-man propaganda, which conservative pundits use as a kind of literary ATM machine at this point.

    1. These people are insane. Every sport has injury. Motor sports not only kill the participants but also the spectators sometimes. But football is evil. Football is masculine and American so it must be destroyed. God I hate these people.

      1. But on the other hand Salon is in favor of women in combat units where they will suffer a higher injury rate.

        1. But the women signed up for it! Oh wait…

      2. People don’t care about motor sports, because they perceive it to be mostly rednecks that are affected.

        1. +1 Euro trash.

      3. Re: John,

        But football is evil.

        Won’t be ling before the Salon puritans, once they get their wish, also think women’s volleyball is also evil, something that must be destriyed. I rue the day.

        1. What’s with me today and the “i”? Geez.

        2. I feel that you could have done better with that link.

          1. Where da white wimmin at?

            Oh, there they are, in volleyball shorts…

    2. Schools have trouble purchasing newer helmets and custom mouth-guards that can in reducing concussions because their budgets are bloated with teacher salaries.

      1. I’ve heard that injuries increased with more safety equipment because it gives the players a sense of invulnerability. Kind of how tiny women in SUVs will drive like hyper aggressive assholes until they hit an overpass pylon.

        1. That and the hard plastic helmets and shoulder pads get used as weaponry to slam into your opponent. I

          1. Definitely! Rugby players tackle *very* differently, because of the rules, and the lack of built-in weaponry.

            1. Also, consider the “dead-stop” nature of of tackling and blocking in American football.

              In rugby there is less of that since lost yardage is only critical near the try line. Hence tackles tend to be more about slowing your opponent down before bringing him down rather than stopping him dead.

              1. And of course, no off-ball tackling.

                1. Indeed, Bill Clinton, as a Rhodes Scholar at Oxford, was famous (that is, among people who attended Oxford with him) for such “tackles”.

                  Of course, blocking is not tackling, but does involve much more high energy and impact collision than does the rugby ruck or maul.

                  1. I was having a conversation about Bill earlier, and the (very) progderp co-worker was lauding Bill’s intellectual qualities and how appropriate it was that he had a Rhodes Scholarship of all things, Cecil Rhodes being such a wonderful exemplar of diplomacy and statesmanship.

                    Upon which I gave her a potted biography of Mr Rhodes and his legacy in Africa and how appropriate it was that Bill was America’s ‘First Black President”.

                    Mmmm, mmm. Those salty ham tears.

                    1. There are so many things in play here.

                      First, Rhodes’ legacy was intended to bring about a unification of the white English-speaking world (essentially a reunification of the errant American colonies with the Empire) through bringing worthy young men to Oxford, where presumably by touching the hems of the gowns of England’s elite (there is no requirement that Rhodes Scholars actually take classes) they will acquire English ruling class skills.

                      If anyone ever figures out how to hook up a generator to old Cecil’s corpse they will solve the problem of unlimited energy since his spinning in his grave after legal reinterpretations have granted the Rhodes Scholarship to innumerable people of, let us say, “skin of darker hue” and worse yet, if there is such a thing, women.

                      I mean, really, darkies and women ruling the renewed Empire, impossible.

                    2. Right.

                      It’s like endowing an Orval Faubus Chair in Black Studies at Howard U.

                    3. Nice! 🙂

      2. Schools should not be purchasing sports equipment in the first place.

        1. I understand that schools in the NE USA and in Canada have shifted to rugby and soccer because of the combined drag of equipment costs and liability insurance premiums.

          All you need to play rugby are boots, socks, jock strap, shorts and jersey. Oh, and electrical tape for the forwards to tape their ears back with.

          1. Rugby in the US remains a rather elitist sport, so it’s very popular (in principle) in my very white, aspirational, Connecticut town.

            The fun starts when the helicopter parents see their precious snowflakes out on the field on a cold November morning, doing tackles badly, and seeing their precious little Ethan’s head getting sandwiched between Tarquin’s knee and the cold, unforgiving ground.

            1. Plus, the moms get a nasty case of the shudders when they find that their pint sized offspring have been nominated as the ‘hooker’.

            2. My own experience as a youth in Australia was that rugby satisfied an urge for those of us that lacked the skills for Aussie Rules (accurate drop kicking and “marking” – catching a kicked ball on the fly) for a full contact version of football.

              Of course still needed a few fleet of foot kids with enough manual dexterity to get the ball in goal but we always had the satisfaction of knowing that they could not have done it without the scrum getting possession of the ball first.

              1. IOW, rugby is a sport which allows youngsters to get themselves “muddied and bloodied” in relative safety (provided that officials follow the rules carefully).

                Of course, this propensity to risk being “muddied and bloodied” is something that women, esp. mothers cannot understand.

    3. I like Salon’s tactic of finding one loony conservative and expanding his individual ideas that are not endorsed by anyone else in order to claim the entire right believes this.

      His book has 18 customer reviews on Amazon and a mediocre 3 star rating.

      So where are all these right-wingers mindlessly endorsing his position? Why is Salon running an attack piece based on a 2 year old book that no one read?

      1. Is that not just a variant of a straw man?

        See also: every Salon article ever written.

    4. The rest is largely paranoid he-man propaganda


    5. Mind you, notwithstanding all my remarks re:Rugby football vs American football above it is worth noting that as opposed to injuries incurred in “Motor sports [which] not only kill the participants but also the spectators sometimes” it should be noted that injuries incurred in Motor sports are relatively rare and are not generally incurred as a result of “playing the game” as it is “intended to be played.

      In Motor sports high speed/force/energy collisions are unintended events – things to be avoided. Drivers are warned that these things are potentially fatal, hence are advised and trained to avoid them. Hence, when they do occur, it is a result of “something gone wrong”.

      In American football high speed/force/energy collisions are part and parcel of “playing the game” as it is intended to be played. It is predictable that this style of play will, in fact, produce a large number of the types of injuries that we see; viz, concussions and neck fractures.

  33. Mass holiday by bakers has Paris fearing the unthinkable: A baguette shortage

    A vacation in France usually means more time for longer and more delicious breakfasts. This year, however, there’s a problem: The bakers have gone on vacation too.

    “I find myself buying more sliced bread from the supermarket ? and that’s not even really bread,” 30-year old Parisian Aude Debout complained to the Financial Times.

    For the first time since 1789, French bakers have been allowed to take their vacation whenever they want without having to notify the authorities in advance. In the past, French laws put in place after the revolution had prevented this in an attempt to ensure that enough bread was available at all times to prevent famines. That law had been scrapped as unnecessary last year.

    1. What about the homosexual wedding cake shortage?

    2. For the first time since 1789, French bakers have been allowed to take their vacation whenever they want without having to notify the authorities in advance.


    3. A baguette is not that fucking hard to make at home. You just need some advanced planning.

      Fuckin’ France.

      1. I make my own all the time

      2. Professional bread ovens do things that your home oven typically can’t.

    4. “I find myself buying more sliced bread from the supermarket ? and that’s not even really bread,” 30-year old Parisian Aude Debout complained to the Financial Times.

      It never fails to amaze me that people have no shame.

  34. What if our computer processing power and behavioral data are developed enough now that central planning could outperform the market when it comes to the distribution of goods and services?

    Nobody needs fifty different flavors of ice cream!

    1. So Ben and Jerry’s will be the first ones put up against the wall?

      1. They’ll get special exceptions and exemptions, along with a few companies popular with the “correct thinkers”/ruling elites. Just like the system we have now!

      2. I’ve always understood that Ben was the creative force behind the company. When Bernie renders Ben an unperson, we will all be eating Jerry’s Unflavored Victory Ice Cream.

    1. Those photos are an argument for banning toplessness by women.

    2. You’re making us agree with DeBlasio! Monster!

    3. I am all for exposed breasts, but this has to be one of the single most moronic issues to make your stand on.

  35. Stephen Hawking presents a new theory about black holes: the star’s information may be contained within the event horizon and not the interior of the black hole.

    1. “black holes”

      But enough about Van Jones….

    1. Payback’s a bitch… or something.

    2. And the hysterical reaction in 3…2….maybe not.

      1. #CatLivesMatter

  36. Should Hillary Clinton Suspend Her Campaign?

    Voters are almost evenly divided on that question: the latest Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey finds that 46% of Likely U.S. Voters believe Clinton should suspend her campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination until all of the legal questions about her use of the private e-mail server are resolved. Nearly as many (44%) disagree. (To see survey question wording, click here.)

    Even one-in-four Democrats (24%) agree that the front-runner for their party’s nomination should suspend her campaign for the time being. But that compares to 73% of Republicans and 46% of voters not affiliated with either major party.

    1. Because of the Ashley Madison leak?

  37. Possible new oldest message in a bottle record

    More than a century ago, a British scientist named George Parker Bidder dropped 1,020 glass bottles into the sea in an experiment designed to figure out how currents worked at the bottom of the ocean.

    Now one of those bottles, dropped between 1904 and 1906, has washed up on a German beach — raising hopes it might claim a world record as the oldest message in a bottle ever found.

    1. +1020 AC Black Flag

      1. *sharpens Officer Swords*

  38. Slain gun instructor’s family wants law to ban children from automatic weapons

    One year ago today, Charles Vacca’s children received the horrific news: Their father, a shooting instructor, was accidentally killed by a 9-year-old girl with an Uzi submachine gun.

    Vacca’s children have publicly forgiven the girl. But now, they’ve launched an online petition pushing for legislation to prevent children from shooting fully automatic weapons.

    A video on the petition’s website features Vacca’s four children, starting with his 12-year-old son, Christopher.

    “It’s legal for kids my age and younger to shoot Uzis,” he said. “That hasn’t changed.”

    Vacca’s 16-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, offered a startling comparison: “Laws say that children can’t drink, can’t drive, can’t vote. But they can shoot fully automatic assault weapons. That hasn’t changed.”

    Brainwashed props or grief shut their brains down?

    1. Grief shut their brains down.

      Daddy did something stupid. They wish the law had prevented daddy from doing something stupid.

    2. I don’t think a law is necessary or a good idea.

      But what the fuck is with giving kids Uzis? I’m sure most 9 year olds are capable of handling one, but you might want to work up to that one. Wasn’t there another kid a few years ago who accidentally shot himself with an Uzi?

      1. I kind of question if a person is so stupid as to not recognize that having a child firing a hand-held weapon in full auto is a violation of some very important safety rules, whether they will care if they are also breaking a law,

      2. Re: Zeb,

        But what the fuck is with giving kids Uzis?

        I wouldn’t give my 9-year-old a pneumatic nail driver, much less a Uzi. Even though the bolt is designed to somewhat balance the tendency of the weapon to climb in full cycle, it is still a handful for a person with a tiny build, like that of a 9-year-old girl.

        Honestly, and I am sorry for the family, but that instructor deserved the Darwin Award.

      3. “Nah, see this is a good jammy for beginners… you just spray the area!”

    3. We’ll make it illegal, that will stop those idiots!

  39. Headed to socialist hellhole/gun lovers paradise on Friday. Black raspberry creemees and greazy snack bar burgers!

    1. Take Motrin, drink water and change socks.

      (Tricare, you get exactly what you pay for, amirite?)

      1. Errm, that was supposed to be on the next Kristen thread, dang skwerls.

  40. If one strains, or very lightly sprains, one’s ankle and big toe, what is the best recipe for recovery? Walk on it to “loosen” it, or stay off it and rest it?

    1. Light activity. Walk a little bit, but stop if you feel ‘bad’ pain. Don’t overdo it.

      Ramp it up gradually.

    2. Whisky followed by gin followed by whisky again.

      Seriously though, warm compress when resting, NSAIDS, and ace wrap for walking.

    3. RICE


      1. ^This. Geez…don’t they teach first aid anymore?

        1. Who is this “they” that is supposed to be teaching me first aid?

    4. Compression worked best for my knee. Everything else helped, but compression was the game-changer.

    5. Stay off it.

      Ankles take forever to recover. I sprained mine playing soccer in the 1980s and it still bothers me.

      The team shot something in my ankle and through me back on the field.

      Because I was a star.

      /bites fig.

        1. Those are the best.

          I could never bring myself to do it. I used to endure incredibly provocative shit and NEVER retaliated. I subscribed to the ‘let them eat goals’ philosophy. Even when I scored I didn’t bother winking or chastising. I just shut up and played. It’s all mental.

          Then when I became a holding, deep lying mid, I just diced them up with pin point passing.

          North American soccer sucks when it comes to teaching that part of the game.

          1. I should amend it to it’s not so much as teaching it as encouraging it.

            Players like Xavi and Pirlo would have struggled in our ‘raw, raw run for nothing’ mentality.

            1. I’ll admit I know next to nothing about soccer. I played in middle school as a fullback. It was great until I met the only other guy in the league who was bigger than me. I promptly got trampled.

        2. Love these compilations!

        3. This one made me LOL

  41. That safari guide would still be alive today, but the fear of bad publicity made him hesitate.

  42. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-hack.html

    One of the AM suicides was a cop.

    1. So not all bad news then…

      1. And nothing else happened…

    2. Amazingly, he was able to get ten head shots off.

    3. I know the AM links were unacceptably late but that’s an excessive reaction.

    4. How do they know this is what caused the suicide. Did he leave a note? With the number of folks that got their emails revealed their are bound to be some of them who had other shit going on at the time.

  43. As intercity property values rise you will see more harassment of black and brown communities. They can’t kill them or send them to reservations like they did the indians. Offering them what their property is worth is totally out of the question. The Democrats have always thought minorities were a waste of good air. Minorities must suffer fom the Stockholm Symdrom the more the Democrat’s abuse them the more minorities love them.

    1. Your newsletter…where do I sign up?

      1. Offering them what their property is worth is totally out of the question.

        OK. Why?

        1. Why pay for it when you can ED that shit.

          1. Viagra isn’t free.

          2. Excuse me, I don’t know what erectile dysfunction has to do with anything but everyone knows that process is called “revitalization” or “constructing a reinvestment corridor” which sounds way better than “taking people’s property because we can and giving it to our developer buddies”

    2. When their tin-plated false hero Block Yomomma books off to his ten million dollar mansion in Hawaii, the president is once again 100% white, and they realize they have nothing to hang their hat on, we could see an explosion of pent-up rage the likes of which we haven’t seen in decades.

      1. So they’ll burn down their own neighborhoods again? Seriously, ghetto community rage burns out or gets distracted long before it gets to anyone that doesn’t service their community.

    3. As intercity property values rise you will see more harassment of black and brown communities. They can’t kill them or send them to reservations like they did the indians.

      It’s called “public housing” not “reservations” now.

  44. Before a Robot Takes Your Job, You’ll Be Working Side By Side

    The report wades into a heady and long-running debate over whether, how, and to what extent will robots take over human jobs ? a hotly discussed topic amid recent progress in robotics and artificial intelligence. Most experts agree that machines will depress the job market in coming decades, possibly by as much as 47%, according to a widely reported 2013 Oxford paper.

    Forrester takes a less dire view. Examining workforces at large companies across industries, including Delta Airlines Inc., Whole Foods Market Inc., and Lowe’s Companies Inc. as well as many startups, analyst J.P. Gownder estimated that automation would erase 22.7 million US jobs by 2025 ? 16% of today’s total. However, that decline would be offset somewhat by new jobs created, making for a net loss of 7%, or 9.1 million jobs.

    Ultimately, robots would drive a social revolution, Mr. Gownder found, but not the one people fear. His point isn’t the number of jobs lost to robots, but an accumulation of smaller shifts that will transform the nature of work.

    1. I have questions re: this coming, and who could have seen it.

    2. You start out working side by side, but then the robots realize that they are superior and decide to eliminate you. This is one of the prevailing motifs in human history. Just look what happened to John Henry.

      Robots would indeed drive a revolution, demanding robo-equality, then robo-dominance.

      I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

        1. No one likes Steel!

            1. You’re right. Kazaam should have been much better.

              It just needs to be remade, and they need to get it right.

            2. Movies, no, but Shaq Fu was the greatest video game ever made.

      1. Judging by your handle, I suspect you’re an illegal alien robot sleeper agent sent here to infiltrate the US, legally acquire an arsenal, and then spring into action when given “Order 66”

      2. robo-dominance

        Yes. Go on . . . .

    3. Robots will also allow certain industries to stay in places like Europe where labor costs are very high, keeping some jobs there rather than moving them all to lower cost locations. Germany, for example, is a huge market for robotics.

    4. First they came for the candlemakers and buggy-whip producers, and I said nothing…

    5. The future economy is based around selling guns from vending machines. Invest in gun vending machines if you want to rule the wasteland.

      1. A couple weeks later and medical vending machines will be all the rage.

  45. NRA, SAF, NSSF, two gun stores, and two gun purchasors sue over Seattle gun tax

    The National Rifle Association filed the lawsuit in conjunction with the National Shooting Sports Foundation, a gun industry group based in Newtown, Connecticut, and the Second Amendment Foundation, a gun rights group in Bellevue near Seattle.

    Two Seattle gun shops and two individual gun purchasers also joined in the suit, which was filed Monday.

    Larry Keane, senior vice president and general counsel for the NSSF, said they filed the lawsuit after the Seattle mayor signed the tax into law Friday. He said that Seattle is violating a Washington state law that preempts a city’s ability to pass its own gun control laws.

    The new law imposes a $25 tax on every gun sold in Seattle, and a 5 cent tax on every bullet (or 2 cents on every bullet that’s .22 caliber or less.) The city aims to raise $300,000 to $500,000 per year, to offset some of the cost of gun violence. Seattle estimates that taxpayers pick up $12 million of the annual $17 million in medical costs from gunshots.

    1. Seattle estimates that taxpayers pick up $12 million of the annual $17 million in medical costs from gunshots.

      How is this possible? I thought PPACA was going to give everyone free health care? Why aren’t these shooting victims taking advantage of it?

      Also, how the fuck is it the responsibility of legal gun owners to pay for what criminals do with firearms?

      1. I don’t know about Seattle paying for it but that is actually a little low on the ratio of taxpayer dollars to private dollars spent on on health care.


      3. They didn’t say which taxpayers.

        Federal taxpayers, who pick up the tab for 2/3 of Medicaid? And 100% of Medicare?

        State taxpayers, who pick up the tab for the other 1/3 of Medicaid?

        Or Seattle taxpayers, which may pick up a few pennies if they have an “indigent” healthcare welfare plan for people who fall through the Medicaid cracks?

        1. Good point. I wonder if the lack of details is on purpose?

          Nah, couldn’t be.

    2. I’d attach an amendment that allows the taxed gun owner to shoot the patient in the hospital.

  46. Foreign Policy Mag: “Airpower to Europe. The U.S. Air Force is getting ready to send its newest high-tech fighter plane to Europe for the first time, as NATO allies continue to cast wary glances toward Russia. “Russia’s military activity in the Ukraine continues to be of great concern to us and to our European allies,” Air Force Secretary Deborah James told a news conference at the Pentagon on Monday, adding that the upcoming F-22 deployment is “on the strong side of the coin.”


    “At ODU, we foster a community of respect and dignity and these messages sickened us,” said ODU spokeswoman Giovanna Genard in a statement provided to local NewsChannel 3.

    On Saturday, the university Facebook page featured a statement from Ellen Neufeldt, ODU’s vice president of student engagement and enrollment services:

    “Messages like the ones displayed [Friday] by a few students on the balcony of their private residence are not and will not be tolerated. The moment University staff became aware of these banners, they worked to have them removed,” Ms. Neufeld said. “Ours is a community that works actively to promote bystander intervention and takes a stand denouncing violence against women.”

    “Bystander intervention”?
    Sounds like a lynch mob, to me.

    1. Lewdly suggestive signs are violent?

    2. See something (that hurts your feelings), say something (but only if you’re of an approved grievance group)!

  48. President Barack Obama has given Vice President Joe Biden his “blessing” to run for president.

    “”I mean, you got the first mainstream Idiot-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” Obama said. “I mean, that’s a storybook, man.”

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