A.M. Links: Hillary's Lead Over Bernie Narrows, Trump Now Competitive in General Election, Thai Police Say Bangkok Bomber Part of Larger Network

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  • Credit: U.S. Senate

    Hillary Clinton's lead over Bernie Sanders in the Democratic presidential primary is narrowing.

  • The FDA has approved the drug flibanserin, more commonly known as "female Viagra."
  • "The low-carbohydrate Paleo diet has attracted star advocates, including professional golfer Phil Mickelson, actor Matthew McConaughey, and Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush. But experts are now debating whether or not people in the Paleolithic Era did actually eat carbs."

New at Reason

  • Make Him Bake Cake? Compelling participation in gay wedding celebrations turns the oppressed into the oppressors. By Jacob Sullum
  • The Death of Pro-Choice Republicans The GOP once prided itself on being the big-tent party on abortion that—unlike Democratic fanatics—didn't have a litmus test on its candidates. By Shikha Dalmia

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  1. The FDA has approved the drug flibanserin, more commonly known as “female Viagra.”

    Is that a- uh, what is that in your pocket???

    1. Hello.

    2. Is that a- uh, what is that in your pocket???

      A ruptured kiwi fruit?

      1. An excuse to avoid accountability?

        1. Receptionist: How do you write women so well?

          Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.

          1. And they had to try and change him. That movie is better in reverse.

        2. An excuse to avoid accountability?

          Haven’t we had enough abortion threads?

          1. Dalmia says no.

    3. Viagra? What’s up with that?

  2. Hillary Clinton’s lead over Bernie Sanders in the Democratic presidential primary is narrowing.

    The way people were doomsaying Hillary, I thought Sanders already took the lead.

      1. If he doesn’t get the Twitter he doesn’t deserve to be president.

        1. Why bother going to twitter when the twitter mob comes to him?

  3. 83) Reservoir Dogs: Passion Play?

    The initials of mob boss Joe Cabot are JC, and he dies at the end.

    The first scene is the last supper. Joe Cabot pays for all his men to eat shortly before the events leading to his death. The topic of discussion at the meal? Whether the Madonna is a virgin.

    Joe Cabot renames his men, just as Jesus renames some of his disciples. Joe tells jokes to illustrate his points, just as Jesus tells parables.

    Joe sends his son, Nice-Guy Eddie, in his place to try to work things out, like God sending Jesus into the world.

    Joe is betrayed by one of his men, Mr. Orange, just as Jesus was betrayed by one of his disciples. Joe’s closest man, Mr. White, “denies” him, saying for all they know, it was Joe himself who ratted them out.

    One of Joe’s men cuts off the ear of a police officer sent to arrest them, just as Peter cut off the ear of the Roman soldier.

    The similarities are striking, no? The discussion of Madonna and the ear cutting scene are what really convince me Tarantino did this on purpose.

    1. SPOILER ALERT. I haven’t made it all the way through the Gospels yet.

      1. Jesus dies.

        Sorta.

      2. Rosebud is his sled. It’s pulled by reindeer named Elishah and Elijah and he uses it to take souls to heaven.

        1. How can he take souls to heaven with all this climate change?

        2. Pretty sure one of the reindeer has a red nose, due to alcoholism

      3. Tyler Durden was dead the whole time.

      4. GoT is a SciFi set in a world after a huge war that reduced civilization to Iron age technology, The Children of the Forest are Aliens who want to use Bran to enslave all of humanity with his telepathic powers, The long winter was a Nuclear winter, The Others are mutated people who have a hard time breeding and 200 years ago the people of the North stopped giving their bastard children through the snow gate (literally bastard gate) so the Others have come to get some breading Women to repopulate. Dany is just a dumb scared little girl who is being telepathically controlled and probably Ed Stark’s Daughter and not even a Targarian but a Stark/Dayne.

        Everyone dies.

        1. “Everyone dies.”

          Except for Dany’s and Drogo’s son who is actually not dead.

    2. Probably intentional.

      1. Next up: O Brother, Where Are Thou and Homer’s The Odyssey.

        1. The real surprise twist: the Coens are terribly overrated.

          1. the Coens are terribly overrated.

            Your face is terribly overrated.

            1. I say we give him the high hat.

              1. Fantastic reference.

                Also, the dude abides.

          2. I think they are appropriately rated. O Brother isn’t the best, though.

            1. Oh, they’re not terrible. I like most of their movies. But they also tend to be meandering and indulgent.

            2. Your opinions are bad and you should feel bad.

              1. I feel awful, but that’s just the mid-week hangover.

          3. You can’t possibly be a serious man.

            1. I found that particular movie to be over-rated.

              1. That one seems to be an outlier as far as Cohen popularity goes. I enjoyed it okay, but I don’t mind movies that don’t really go anywhere.

                1. That one seems to be an outlier as far as Cohen popularity goes

                  “Barton Fink”

                  “Hudsucker Proxy”

                  “The Man Who Wasn’t There”

                  “Burn After Reading”

                  “Gambit”

                  You Sure about that?

                  Note: I liked Hudsucker Proxy even though I recognize it as shitty as all the rest listed above.

          4. Watched Fargo for the first time last night. Not entirely sure what I was supposed to get out of it.

              1. I guess I’m missing some part of the brain that causes others to give it critical acclaim.

                Is it the “Minnesota nice” accents? The absurd contrasting between the ultra violence committed by the two thugs and the folksy police chief sitting in bed with her husband talking about his duck art?

                IDK. The movie just didn’t do much for me. Meh.

                1. I watched it for the first time while living in Wisconsin, which may have had something to do with my enjoyment of it.

          5. All but Miller’s Crossing which is horribly underrated.

            In fact it was probably the best movie of the 90s.

    3. I refuse to believe that Tarantino does anything on purpose. (Other than weird-for-the-sake-of-weird.) I do not care for Tarantino, nor Tim Burton nor David Lynch. It’s like they try too hard and you can see the effort and it takes you out of the story. Coen Bros I like because they’ve got some serious dip-shittery going on sometimes but it’s some flawlessly natural dip-shittery that makes you laugh and go, “Yeah, that guy would totally do something like that” without realizing that you’re so bought into the story that you’ve forgotten it’s a story.

      1. Agree w/ you re: Tarantino and Burton, but Lynch? His movies don’t strike me as being in the “desperate to be seen as cool/weird” Tarantino mold. Lynch is just…Lynch. (Does that statement seem overly-pretentious?)

  4. According to a new poll, Donald Trump is now competitive in the general election for the presidency.

    The Gathering of the Trumpaloes.

    1. Instead of makeup it’s hairpieces.

      1. And crowds that lumber.

        1. With all their papers – if not their finances – in order.

  5. 1,200 beer bottles uncapped at store in robbery

    Essen police said Tuesday the thieves broke into the shop in Muelheim an der Ruhr overnight Sunday and stole the caps from the popular Koenig Pilsner. They kept those with points toward prizes like Bose speakers or a Black & Decker cordless drill, left dozens of “good luck try again” caps on the ground and didn’t drink a single beer.

    Given the number of caps removed, police say they assume that more than one person was involved in the operation. So far they have no suspects.

    Take one down, pass it around…

    1. “and didn’t drink a single beer”

      DEATH. PENALTY.

      1. “and didn’t drink a single beer”

        They should check among the local immigrant community because these thieves obviously weren’t Germans.

          1. I will take your renowned word for it and be on the lookout for a Koenig tap.

          2. Leave Europe Swissy…before you are too far gone.

        1. Its not like it was 1200 cans of Hansa.

        2. I had a bottle last weekend. It’s a good pilsner, in the same league as the Czech pilsners. If one does not like it, one does not like pilsner.

          1. I have only tried two czech pilsners, which I found to be awful. Do not remember the brands though.

            While pilsner is not my go to choice, I’ve found Koenigs and Warsteiner to be decent beverages. Did my random sampling of czech beers just pull two clunkers?

    2. I think they’ve played Fallout too much.

      1. Not if they left bottle caps behind.

        1. Fallout 4 beckons

        2. They were stupid enough to install a mod that gives bottle caps carry weight.

    3. The fiends!

  6. Ronald McDonald Statue Decapitated Outside Broadcast Museum

    Workers arriving for work Tuesday morning saw the statue of the beloved McDonald’s icon had been decapitated when they got to the museum, according to museum founder Bruce DuMont.

    Neighbors had rescued the statue’s head after the statue was vandalized.

    beloved?

    1. Haven’t heard of anybody else’s head being rescued, so it must be at least a slight fondness

    2. ISIS is in Chi-Town!

      Hide your deep dish!

      1. YOU’LL GET MY LOU MALNATI’S WHEN YOU PRY THE BOX OF MY GREASY, COLD, DEAD HANDS!!!!!

    3. beloved?

      Pfft, like it’s Cecil the Beloved Lion or something.

    4. Simpsons did it!

  7. The German Parliament has approved a $95 billion bailout for Greece.

    The catch? It’s going to be in Deutsche marks.

    1. Deutsche marks pegged to 1920s inflation.

      1. They should all chip in for a new drachma printer.

    2. I have a cunning plan. Declare that the Marshall Plan was a loan. A subprime loan to poor credit risk nations. And we’re demanding payment.

  8. Spot the Not: ya gotta be shittin’ me

    1. “ya gotta be shittin’ me” is the motto of the Wild Weasels, an Air Force squadron whose job is to seek out and destroy enemy air defenses.

    2. the shortest NBA player ever was 5′ 3″.

    3. this Marine received 11 Purple Hearts, the most of any American ever.

    4. a 5 ft tall, 123 lb power lifter from North Korea can lift 3x his weight.

    5. a British comedian ran 43 marathons in 51 days.

    6. this explorer and 5 men rowed 800 nautical to get helped for the stranded members of their expedition.

    1. I say #3. I just looked up Audie Murphy, the most decorated soldier of WWI, and he had only one Purple Heart, though he had tons of other medals and awards as well.

      1. Purple hearts, Sermon. You can get multiples….

        1. Yeah, WW2. And sure you can get multiple Purple Hearts. But my logic is that if a famously decorated soldier didn’t have more than one, there probably hasn’t been anybody who’s gotten 11. But it’s just a guess.

          1. Herman Munster has three.

            … and only one was for a papercut.

            1. And the treating doctor complained about even being bothered with Purple Heart paperwork over such a minor wound.

              Fun fact: he got one Purple Heart from his own grenade. He threw it into a pile of rice to blow it up, but wasn’t far enough away and got hit by explosion-propelled rice grains.

              1. He just blows my hypothesis that we could never get an SOS worse than Evil Grandma all to shit.

                Literally.

              2. Really? I did not know that. The language in the criteria for that award is pretty explicit, “… wounded as a direct result of enemy action…”

    2. I would say #5 would cause some major bone and ligament damage if it’s even possible

    3. Imma say 1, just because I know that Wild Weasel is a GI Joe villain…

      1. That is the nickname for anti-SAM folks.

        1. I think it’s plausible;

          Basically, the Wild Weasels are the guys who fly fighter bombers out to enemy territory with the mission to destroy SAM sites. They locate the SAM sites by inducing the enemy to launch missiles at them, and their plan is to evade the missiles and destroy the launchers.

          It’s the aviation equivalent of finding the enemy machine gun nests by dancing around in front of them taunting them.

          1. Not bombers, but you have the basic idea right.

            1. Since Desert Storm the job has gotten a lot easier…

              Fly out, get them to turn on their radar, and then blow the shit out of them before they have one single clue.

              This is why no one against us in Iraq (during the no-fly) or in the Kosovo event would use their SAMs.

    4. I believe 6 to be true (one of those depressing Antartic expeditions and IIRC they didn’t lose a single man either on the boat or in the party left behind).

      3 sounds like the not; I figure after 5 – 6 battle injuries you are either hors d’combat or in a coffin.

      1. Shackleton, I think.

      2. Jose Campos Torres was shot 11 times with AKs in Vietnam while carrying injured buddies to a medvac helicopter and lived .

    5. The Not is #4.
      For a 123-lb powerlifter, I would expect his best squat and deadlift to be at least approaching 3x his bodyweight, although his bench might be less. Besides, since you don’t specify one of the three lifts, you must be referring to his total (best bench press, squat and deadlift added together) and for that not be over 3x his bodyweight is very unlikely.

      1. Here’s a vid of the guy’s clean and jerk of 374 lbs:
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axQl8JeHE9Y

    6. 3 is the Not. The most Purple Hearts won by a marine is 9. 7 other men have won 8 Purple Hearts:
      link

      Here’s the logo for 1: link

      2 is Tyrone Bogues, 4 is Om Yun Chol, 5 is Eddie Izzard, and 6 is Ernest Shackleton.

      1. I don’t think won is quite the word for that.

        1. ^This. Purple Hearts are the consolation prize of military awards.

    7. Schelton didn’t row 800 miles they sailed 800 miles.

      Number 1 is the NOT though.

  9. Is this how Warty communicates?

    Alligator On Helium Reveals The Secret Meaning Of Alligator Bellow
    They bellow to communicate their body size to other gators

    So they decided to test the model on alligators because they are very vocal reptiles. First, they put a female Chinese alligator in an airtight chamber and recorded its bellows as it would sound in the wild. Then, they filled the chamber with heliox, a combination of helium and oxygen, and recorded the sounds that the alligator made. Like when a human inhales it, helium makes the sound waves move faster, so the alligator’s bellows sounded higher-pitched. The researchers then put both recordings into an acoustic modeling system that would estimate the size of the alligator’s head that would have made the sounds. The model predicted that a smaller alligator made the higher-pitched sounds, indicating to the researchers that alligators use their bellows to communicate their body size to one another.

    1. I would love to get a research grant just so I could mess around with animals.

      1. You know who else wanted to mess around with animals . . . with grant money . . .

        1. Marlin Perkins?

      1. He’s the Warty Whisperer.

        1. It’s not really whispering, he screamed so much he got hoarse.

    2. The researchers then put both recordings into an acoustic modeling system that would estimate the size of the alligator’s head that would have made the sounds. The model predicted that a smaller alligator made the higher-pitched sounds, indicating to the researchers that alligators use their bellows to communicate their body size to one another.

      I don’t know if this article is just a poor summary or what, but there seems to be a massive leap in logic there…

      1. Good job human, they missed the obvious correlation about the pitch versus volume of the emitting body. The real question is there any difference in tones or duration between large and small alligators.

      2. An alligator with a smaller head makes a higher-pitched noise, so how is it illogical to assume the higher-pitched noise isn’t a way of saying “Hey, everybody! I have a small head!” Kinda like when you yell “FIRE!” in a crowded theater, isn’t the meaning of your communication “Hey, everybody! I can yell really loud!”?

    3. gator mating call: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39pxYm1HEpg

      Yeah, this is what I imagine a horny Warty sounds like.

      1. horny Warty

        Is there another kind?

  10. “But experts are now debating whether or not people in the Paleolithic Era did actually eat carbs”

    I think “experts” are taking the Paleo diet a little too literally. Of course different paleo people at different times and places had access to different foods, sometimes including carbs. The point is, whether the dieter can improve his health by eating in a way more in synch with what humans are best evolved to eat.

    1. Not to mention – where is the wisdom if taking diet advice from cavemen, anyway?

      1. They should have Captain Caveman as their spokesperson.

        I know someone hard into the paleo diet.

        Sounds prehistoric to me.

        1. Captain CAVE—MAN!!!

      2. Because it’s so easy even a caveman could do it?

        1. True enough. I forgot that we were recently taking car insurance advice from cavemen as well!

          1. Was it Allstate that had the caveman? One of the more annoying ads is the Allstate ad where the couple are sitting at the table and the woman says, “Remember when you told me men were better drivers then women? Then how did I get this safe-driver bonus check from Allstate?” I would be curious to know whether or not Allstate is aware that the ad seems to be suggesting that women are very bad at logic. (“This woman is a good driver therefore all women are good drivers” is just as logical as “This woman is bad at logic therefore all women are bad at logic”. And how do you even go from “This woman is a good driver therefore men are not better drivers than women”? That’s not even intelligible enough an argument to qualify as illogical.)

            1. God I hate that commercial. Not only is that woman a shrew she is also skinny and homely. It would be bad enough if she were hot. But few things are more annoying than a homely woman who is also a shrew.

          2. Better than taking car insurance advice from Little Richard.

      3. It’s eating what they had available to them, which is different than taking their advice; they had little choice in their diets. The theory is that the human digestive system evolved to process high meat, low carb diets sinc agriculture (which made a high grain diet possible) is only a few thousand years old).

        A very different thing from seeking wisdom from the scrolls of stone age goat herders, which would be taking their advice.

        1. A very different thing from seeking wisdom from the scrolls of stone age goat herders, which would be taking their advice.

          Nicely done.

    2. I’m an LC dieter, not a Paleo dieter. I think the error is in assuming the Paleo diet is supposed to be a low-carbohydrate diet. While it’s true that the Paleo diet specifically avoids the majority of what constitutes our modern carbohydrate consumption – bread, rice, corn, etc. – no diet can truly be “low carbohydrate” that endorses eating sweet fruit. On a low-carbohydrate diet, you can get away with a small handful of berries or non-sweet fruits (olives, avocados), but most fruits would incompatible.

      The goal of a low-carbohydrate diet ideally is ketosis, but not necessarily is it the goal of a Paleo diet.

      The real selling point of the Paleo diet is that “it’s what our ancestors ate.” Of course, this article might expose some weaknesses if our ancestors did, in fact, eat tubers. The selling point of the LC diet is just that it’s fairly effective for achieving weight loss (and blood sugar if you have to be a diabetic).

      1. “it’s what our ancestors ate.”

        I bet you they were in dire need of a breath peppermint.

        So. Does this mean because they didn’t eat pancakes or toaster strudels we shouldn’t? Ma, get out of here!

        Anyway.

        Like I give a shit what those unibrowed, illiterate, barbaric, racist, misogynist with over sized feet and teeth ate.

        1. misogynists

        2. Hey! Thats my greatX600grandfather you’re talking about!

          1. At greatx600grandfather, that’s probably most or all of our’s mutual ancestor. So shittalking is allowed.

        3. I don’t care what they ate, either. I just think that’s the selling point of the diet for someone, just like “organic” is a selling point for others. They’re looking for something that’s “natural.” You can define natural in a lot of ways, but Paleo dieters are attracted because they think the ancestral connection confers some natural points.

          1. That sounds about right. The guy I know says it’s about what our ancestors ate and protein.

            1. Tell that guy that his protein needs are mostly fixed, and that over-consuming protein is not only unnecessary, but can lead to his gaining weight. I’m sure he’ll love that.

        4. “Like I give a shit what those unibrowed, illiterate, barbaric, racist, misogynist with over sized feet and teeth ate.”

          You refer to the Gauls, n’est pas?

      2. Well, see below. Our ancestors ate tubers and honey and fruit when they could. Which was not every day. So yes, it is probably okay to eat such things sparingly, but if evolution optimizes bodies to diets over several generations, human bodies are probably not adapted to eat 1500 calories of carbohydrates a day.

        1. Excessive carbs make a noticeable part of the population pretty fat, so yeah. I’d say some bodies are adapted for almost any diet, especially when they’re young. They eat and eat and never gain considerable weight.

      3. The real selling point of the Paleo diet is that “it’s what our ancestors ate.” Of course, this article might expose some weaknesses if our ancestors did, in fact, eat tubers.

        Considering a great deal of the things out ancestors ate during humanity’s expansion across the continents are now dead this is to be expected. Not many mammoths, aurochs or large-scale marsupials anymore. But I still find the idea of promoting diets for their ‘historicity’ to be hilarious.

        “Hey everyone, I just invented this new toothpaste! Now you too can wash your teeth in urine like ancient Romans!”

        1. I nearly shot coffee out of my nose. Thanks!

    3. If apes are any indication, early humans ate carbs as often as possible, which is often short in duration and correlates with adding fat for leaner times.

      1. I don’t believe that apes are any indication as prehistoric man appears to have hunted extensively. Evidence seems to indicate that early humans hunted many species of megafauna to the point of extinction.

        1. They keep revising chimp hunting upwards. Brains need the calorie density of meat.

    4. Well of course cavemen ate carbs and grains they just didn’t eat as much as people do to today. A low carb diet, about 100 grams a day is probably a lot closer to a caveman’s diet then the so called paleo diet.

      1. I’ve been eating

        1. And for some reason it cut out my comment.

          I said blah blah, I eat less than 30 grams of carb per day. I don’t even know how I’d get up to 100 grams anymore.

          1. 30 grams? Really? thats like a single slice of bread isn’t it?

            1. Actually I bet my average beer consumption puts me over 30 grams a day.

              1. Yeah, a beer is something on the order of 10-20g.

            2. thats like a single slice of bread isn’t it?

              Yes. Or, like, a nectarine. Basically, you stay under 30 by only eating meat and green vegetables and maybe, like, some onion or something. It’s not as hard to do as you think.

            3. Yep, more or less. It’s pretty easy to do once you cut out bread, rice, corn, sugar, fruit, etc. Most vegetables are really low carb, so it’s hard to get up to even 30 grams most days.

              1. “It’s pretty easy to do once you cut out bread, rice, corn, sugar, fruit, etc.”

                I would see drastic weight loss from this diet because I would kill myself within a week.

              2. 30 is my bogie as well from el doctoro…the guy who went to school and got his MD so he could tell all the other MDs they are idiots regarding diet. He took me from A1c of 7.1 to 3.8 in 3 months by telling me to eat 70?t calories 20% protein calories and less than 10% carbohydrate calories. Keeping the carbs at under 30 grams and also not eating anything with a glycemic index above 30.

                Carrots – out
                Apples – out
                Bacon – definitely in

                the only fruits i eat are berries (not grapes) and avocados and olives (Tomatoes for the pedants out there like Niki)

                I do eat some dairy, but it is a full fat as I can get like – Heavy Cream, Butter, Cheeses.

                Eggs are a HUGE part of my diet. Also, I live in Colorado so I have some of the best chilies a man can get.

    5. Of course they ate all the carbs they could get their hands on. It just wasn’t as large a part of the diet before people started growing grain and cultivating fruit.

      1. Yeah, I can’t see our hungry ancestors turning up their nose at anything that would fill their bellies. They might develop some taboos if foods smelled bad or had made them sick in the past, but short of that, everything was up for grabs.

        I imagine they had starving periods where they’d go without food for days and without regular food for weeks, but then some periods of abundance.

        Just based on how much humans love sugar, we’re clearly programmed to love carby goodness.

        1. But the love for carby goodness was balanced out by the relative inavailability of that in most pre-agrarian diets.

          1. Not to mention the daily exertion. Physical exercise increases insulin sensitivity. Today insulin resistance and metabolic syndrome are the primary causes of weight gain/type 2 DIABEETUS.

            Remove the vast amount of insulin coursing through your veins by only eating meat and type 2 goes away.

            pretty awesome this sciency stuff.

        2. A small family of Australian aboriginies, upon discovering the last of their tribe’
          s “wild” relatives (this was in the 1980s mind you!) knew that those long-lost relatives would never return to their former lifestyle once jhey tasted sugar.

    6. The Paleo diet theory does not argue that paleolithic man did not eat carbs. That would be ridiculous. It instead argues that, since foods rich in carbs were available only for short periods of time and then quickly spoiled, man evolved such that carbs do not satiate appetite for long. That is, whenever carbs became available, the nature of appetite is to get while the getting is good and build up a reserve of fat.

      The low-carb diet works because, at least for some people, fats satiate appetite better than carbs, and make it easier to limit caloric intake.

    7. That’s not how evolution works.

  11. But experts are now debating whether or not people in the Paleolithic Era did actually eat carbs.

    Turns out the cavemen died out during the Atkins fad.

    1. +1 roast duck w/mango salsa

      1. Mango is so played.

        1. SECONDED!!!

        2. Yeah. Several thousand years of eating mangoes is enough. Time to move on, people.

    2. Considering that most of the most recent evidence occurred during an Ice age and the diet of northern tribes (Turkic, Eskimos, etc) is mostly meat it makes sense that the evidence found in Europe, Asia and North America would show mostly a meat diet.

      Which does not mean that people in more southern climates (which constitutes the majority of people) did not eat carbs.

  12. German lawmakers back third Greek bailout

    German lawmakers overwhelmingly voted in favor of a third Greek bailout on Wednesday, heeding a call from Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble to give Greece the chance for a new start, despite his own concerns it might not work.

    There was a sizeable rebellion in Chancellor Angela Merkel’s own party ranks, however, suggesting she cannot return to parliament to seek aid for Athens again.

    The Bundestag lower house of parliament, whose backing is essential for the release of bailout funds, approved the plan by 454 votes to 113, with 18 abstentions.

    something something reinforcing defeat

    1. As bad as we have it here, can you imagine if Congress were bailing out Mexico? They kind of are in the form of the welfare state and free immigration. But at least that cost is hidden.

      1. The Greeks can never pay back their debt or the other bail outs.

        The purpose of the bail outs is for control of the EU by bankers.

        Yes I can imagine US bankers wanting to control Mexico with burdensome unpayable debt. I do not see Mexico going for it.

    2. So, when is Greece scheduled for their 4th bailout? 2020 or so? Regardless of if it’s 5 years from now or 8 years from now, it will happen again. But maybe Greece won’t be alone the next time. Spain or Portugal or maybe even Italy may join them in line for a handout.

    3. You know which other German reinforced defeat?

      1. Field Marshal Blucher?

        1. NEIGH!

  13. The future is so bright I gotta wear shades:

    The future of mutating, treatment-resistant head lice is already here

    Head lice aren’t particularly dangerous, but they are a nuisance — one that has become such a common part of life with young children that multiple over-the-counter remedies are available to parents.

    That very fact has made the increase in prevalence of lice cases since the 1990s — despite the corresponding increased access to effective treatments — so puzzling.

    A new study that will be presented at the National Meeting & Exposition of the American Chemical Society on Tuesday suggests one reason for the increase: After decades of treatment with anti-pest remedies sold in drugstores across America, head lice are evolving to resist our efforts to snuff them out.

    1. I have a 6 year old daughter who came home with head lice mutliple times in Kindergarten, and who is starting first grade next week. I weep for the future.

    2. Hopefully they will become prevalent in New Jersey, home of the mutant, radioactive ball-chomping human-toothed fish…

    3. Easy solution: bald children.

      If Uncle Sam can force us to buy health insurance, he can force parents to shave their snowflakes.

      1. A world filled with tiny Kojaks.

    4. Well, there’s always kerosene.

      1. A world filled with tiny flaming Kojacs.

        1. I always thought Kojac’s penchant for tootsie pops did seem a little gay but not enough to call it flaming

          1. ?Puedo obtener una “mirada estrecha” por aqu?, por favor.

    5. I remembering hearing my seventh grade teacher (he was a revolutionary & civil war history buff) tell us that one of the reasons that braids were a popular style for women in the pioneer days was this made it easier to spot lice.

      1. fucking ewww

  14. Since this country’s going down the tubes anyways, I may as well root for a Sanders-Trump general election, right? Those debates would at least be fun.

    1. Here’s my election theory: Hillary gets the D nomination, Jeb Bush gets the R, and Trump runs as an independent. Trump pulls about 10 or even 15% of votes away from the Republican side, and Hillary wins because of it. I really, really don’t want this scenario to play out but the more I think about it, the more likely it seems to be.

      1. That makes some sense except for two things. First, Trump just can’t run as an independent. He has to get on the ballot. And that takes a huge organization and a lot of work. It is not something that you can just drop out of the Republican race in May of next year and accomplish by November. Remember Perot never ran as a Republican and took over the Reform Party which was already working away more than a year out from the election. I am not saying Trump couldn’t do it, but it seems unlikely.

        Second, Trump unlike Perot who basically sold to corporate clients, sells directly to the product. If the scenario you describe played out, tens of millions of Republicans would hate his guts and refuse to watch his dopey reality shows and frequent his hotels and such. It would likely ruin him and no amount of crony capitalist graft from the Clintons would save him, especially after he had outlived his usefulness to them.

        I was really worried about Trump running third party for a while. Now I am less worried. I think he is just an ego maniac and loves the attention and will either win the nomination or lose it and then spend four years playing either “Mr I told you so” if the Republicans lose or “Mr Outsider conscience of America” if they win. He will enjoy those roles a lot more than being the arch villain running as a third party would make him.

        1. I don’t know, John. I think Trump might actually want to play this thing out, even if he doesn’t get the Republican nomination. And do you actually see Donald fucking Trump getting the Republican nomination because I do not. I just don’t think the Republican establishment takes him seriously now, and they won’t in a year, either.

          1. It doesn’t matter what he wants. He can’t play it out if he can’t get on the ballot. That is not easy. You have to have an organization in all fifty states. You have to collect and validate a ton of signatures all months before the election. That is not easy. And the Republicans would play dirty and challenge his signatures and make it as difficult as possible for him to get on the ballot. I think it is going to be very hard to do that.

            1. I assume he’ll buy the Constitution Party nomination. They’re probably already on the ballot in half the states.

              1. I see they were on the ballot in 26 states in 2012. With Trump dollars they could easily push that into the low 40s.

                1. Only if they start early. If Trump is going to go third party he has to get out of the GOP nomination fight early. If he stays in it until the end, it will be too late.

                  1. Only a handful of states have sore loser laws and those have fallen in the past when challenged. He needs to be out before November 1st or so to make it easier. After Jan. it is still possible but more expensive. The biggest hurdle is actually the petition requirements in many states and their deadlines. However that is a simple function of money. One of the analysts i used to work with in the LP made it very clear that 50 Ballot Access for any newcomer is a simple matter of about 65 Million Dollars. Thats it Richard Winger, who is the ballot access guru can back that up but most newcomers/minor parties don’t have anywhere close to that to spend every 4 years. The LP has fought for 30 + and has only about 36 guaranteed every cycle. So ballot access is not a challenge if you have the money. Simple as that.

            2. This assumes they don’t live up (down?) to their title as the stup

              1. -id party

        2. I honestly don’t think he’s going to run third-party unless he is competitive through the primaries and comes to the convention with a UUUUUUGE number of delegates ready and willing to go to the mat for him. If that’s the scenario, I can see it either turning into an R version of the 1948 and 1968 Dem conventions (which would be awesome), or Trump cuts a deal with another front-runner and gives his delegates to that person (more likely).

        3. “It would likely ruin him and no amount of crony capitalist graft from the Clintons would save him, especially after he had outlived his usefulness to them.”

          He’s already hurt himself enough with this (I think?) that I wonder if it might not be a carrot that they’re using. Did he ever take any trips with Bill Clinton or Jared Fogle to Underaged Whore Island?

      2. Imagine Trump vs Clinton.

        Trump sabotages his campaign and hands it to Clinton.

  15. The visual of Hillary declaring I’m not a crook while wearing an orange jumpsuit is awesome.

    As is her defense of tech idiocy.

    1. It’s like Mom and Nixon’s head had a baby.

    2. Orange is the new black. Hitlery is trying to be the new black candidate. Or a convict. Either way,it’s delicious.

  16. girls dictators just want to have fun?

    What Are Palestinians Doing With U.S. Money?

    The billions of dollars that Arafat received between 1994 and 2000 from the Americans and the international community failed to convince him to accept the most generous offer ever made to the Palestinians by an Israeli prime minister. Even worse, the first seven years of the peace process resulted in the second intifada, which erupted in September 2000 — a few months after the collapse of the Camp David summit.

    The refusal of the international community back then to hold Arafat accountable was the main reason a majority of Palestinians were driven into the open arms of Hamas. Palestinians lost faith not only in the peace process, but also in the Palestinian Authority and its leaders. Palestinians saw no improvement in their living conditions, mainly as a result of the PA’s corruption.

    That is why they turned to Hamas, which promised them change, reform and an end to financial corruption. The Americans and Europeans are therefore responsible for Hamas’s rise to power.

    1. So if I give somebody money and they do something stupid with it, I’m responsible for that?

      1. You have just layed out the entire plan for the US anti-terrorism program.

        1. Wait a minute… I have paid a lot of taxes to the government — and they have done a LOT of stupid things.

      2. If you knew they were going to do something stupid with it, then yes.

        1. see, also, “conspiracy to do stupid shit”.

    2. The PLO really messed up not taking that sweet deal at the time.

      1. Actual governance over easy money?! Are you mad????

        /PLO

    3. That, and they want to wipe Israel off the face of the map, so there’s no way they are backing a Pro Peace faction.

    4. Palestinians saw no improvement in their living conditions, mainly as a result of the PA’s corruption.

      That is why they turned to Hamas, which promised them change, reform and an end to financial corruption. The Americans and Europeans are therefore responsible for Hamas’s rise to power.

      No room to blame some Asians in there too?

      1. Funny how neither the PLO nor the Palestinians themselves are responsible for Hamas’ rise to power.

        Its never the proximate cause, but always some remote, contingent cause. At least if the remote contingent cause is the US.

  17. No one showed up for California’s green jobs rush

    In 2012, California voters were peppered with grandiose promises, such that they could not resist approving Proposition 39. The measure, created and backed by wealthy environmentalist Tom Steyer, sought to raise taxes on corporations and use the money to fund green energy projects in schools.

    He promised it would create 11,000 new jobs each year. What could go wrong?

    …snip…

    Naturally, it did not work at all. On Monday, the Associated Press reported that the program has “created” just 1,700 jobs in three years ? just under 600 jobs per year or roughly five percent of what was promised, at the cost of $175,000 per job. Even that paltry figure fails to account for opportunity costs ? i.e. jobs lost statewide because of the forced diversion of economic resources away from productive industries and toward green energy. The number of net jobs created is likely zero or less than zero, which is to say that probably a few hundred or a few thousand jobs have been destroyed so far at a cost of $300 million.

    1. wealthy environmentalist and future governor Tom Steyer

      California and Steyer deserve one another so hard.

    2. It’s safe to assume that every promise made by politicians when they’re selling some scheme is not only a lie, but actually the opposite of the real outcome.

  18. Hillary does her Mr. Bean impression:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CMxe-aWUcAI4kO5.jpg

    1. Pretty much sums up her campaign so far.

    2. The stills from that video are awesome.

      I’m embarrassed to say that I didn’t even know she’d had her trial already. The orange jumpsuit gave it away.

    3. That reminds me of the joke about why italians have such short necks. It’s because they’re always in court shrugging, saying “I dunno.”

  19. Wing-nuts with guns & dreams of a race war: Inside the dangerous obsessions of right-wing extremists
    Oath Keepers in Ferguson and Confederate flag supporters elsewhere all seem hellbent on armed conflict

    Even as we round the corner into the final year of the Obama administration, organized and semi-organized racists continue to rage against the election of the first African-American president. This Summer, their specified target is the Black Lives Matter movement, and the racist groups in question happen to be gun-toting Oath Keepers and Confederate flag fetishists.

    Let’s start with the Confederate flag crackpots. This past weekend, Confederate flag supporters, who insisted they totally aren’t racists, trolled African-Americans in Sunrise, Florida. A group called the South Florida Rednecks launched a motorcycle convoy with their bikes and pickup trucks festooned in the Confederate flag, which is totally not inflammatory at all. But when Black Lives Matter protesters appeared, Raw Story reported that some of the Southern Florida Rednecks brandished knives and firearms, clearly to intimidate the protesters.

    TW: Salon

    1. Fun fact: Salon articles are now written by an artificial intelligence. They’re being used as proof that artificial intelligence is nothing to fear, because it’s too dumb to be any threat to humanity.

    2. Salon makes Gawker look like Reason.

      http://gawker.com/whose-side-a…..1723917237

      The Oath Keepers aren’t the first group to suggest arming the black populace as a solution to police oppression.

      1. So in Salon world the white people who want a race war also want to arm black people, their enemies in that war. In what parallel universe does that make any sense?

        1. I guess Salon thinks they just want to make the race war more sporting or something.

        2. I believe what Salon is suggesting is that the Oath Keepers hate black people so much that they’re arming them to purposefully set off conflicts with police so the black people will be shot. That’s seriously what I take from reading the article.

        3. It’s because they’re very honorable racists and wouldn’t want to kill an unarmed opponent.

        4. “In what parallel universe does that make any sense?”

          The Salonverse, you silly.

        5. Maybe they just like a good war.

          NSFW: http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6VWX…..pytits.jpg

    3. They are really determined to believe that Oath Keepers is some kind of right-wing racist group despite a complete lack of any evidence.

      1. Waddaya mean?

        They’re white and they have those icky guns. Are you blind?

  20. CNN is Trump’s 24 hour lap-dance. The bitch can’t even get his own wife to sheath his cock CNN Is so busy on it.

  21. The war on ‘unlikeable women’: Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian and the brazen misogyny we choose to ignore

    Other stars who have seen their stock fall in the past year are Adrian Peterson and Robin Thicke; the latter never recovered from the critique that his hit single “Blurred Lines” promotes rape culture, while the former was accused of child abuse.

    Both of these are valid reasons to dislike someone, but for some reason, they don’t make you more hateable than Grande or Kim Kardashian. While Grande and Cosby have seen the biggest drops in likability over the past year, Kardashian was the most-hated celebrity overall. She had an astonishingly high negative Q score of 71.

    Other than being irritatingly ubiquitous or hating America, what exactly are their crimes? Has Kim Kardashian ever been accused of plagiarism?like Robin Thicke? Has Ariana Grande ever been accused of being a fraud by an Ivy League university?like Dr. Oz, whose negative Q Score increased just 16 points in the past year? Has Kardashian ever publicly threatened her partner?like Shia LaBeouf, who didn’t even make the list? Ray Rice was caught on tapeattacking his wife and was suspended from the NFL for it, and his actual illegal behavior didn’t merit a mention either.

    1. I don’t know. Maybe because the perception is people like Kardashian and Hilton didn’t really do anything to earn their popularity? There seems to be a formula though to become popular. Put out a sex tape, get arrested, pretend you’re some kind of unique fatalist – whatever.

    2. Didn’t Ariana Grande lick a doughnut and put it back in the name of hating America and fat people? I am pretty sure trashing the entire country and spitting in someone’s food has always made the person doing it universally disliked. And that is a hell of a lot worse than making a song that “promotes the rape culture” whatever that means.

      1. She also mocked the girl working at the donut store. In my book, that makes you a bigger piece of shit than somebody accused of fraud by Harvard or whatever.

        1. Sometimes people set themselves up to be poster children for a certain stereotype. Grande basically auditioned to be the nasty, entitled Latina bitch. If she doesn’t like that role, she shouldn’t try so hard to play it.

          1. Technically, the little brat is of Italian descent.

            Here’s the thing. What ignorant activist millionaire pop stars wannabe-socialists for the greater good don’t get is they stomp on the very people they purport to help. Ariana is lucky she carved herself a lucrative career in entertainment but not everyone can be so fortunate. People like the poor girl she mocked are just doing honest work.

            I truly loathe this type of idiotic behavior from ANYONE.

            1. Don’t worry. Her lucrative career has a half life of the average mosquito. She will be bankrupt and lucky to have a job in a doughnut shop before the end of the decade.

            2. Fucking with the woman working retail is certainly loathsome.

              However, Grande did inspire this cover from Postmodern Jukebox, which features a fantastic singer.

    3. Disliking women who provably suck is sexist.

      1. But wouldn’t you like that sort of woman? ;-P

        1. Only for the “provability” part.

    4. Robin Thicke; the latter never recovered from the critique that his hit single “Blurred Lines” promotes rape culture

      Let me see if I have this right: If the content of someone’s song offends you, that’s a valid reason to dislike them, but if someone licks food that doesn’t belong to them, calls everyone in the country fat and stupid, and then insults the person working at the bakery, that isn’t reason to dislike them because they have a vagina and therefore any criticism is misogyny.

      #salonlogic

      1. Does salon logic recognize any rape culture in rap music? You can’t spell rape without rap. Fact.

        1. And “art” is just the last 3 letters of “fart”.

      2. I think Thicke’s issues with the estate of Marvin Gaye might have overshadowed that a tad.

    5. Has Kardashian ever publicly threatened her partner?like Shia LaBeouf, who didn’t even make the list?

      Shia Labeouf is a no-shit rape victim. Can you imagine Salon attacking a female celebrity who was raped less than a year ago?

  22. The low-carbohydrate Paleo diet

    I’ll say what I said yesterday: Paleotards are mostly extremely silly people, and the Paleo diet isn’t low-carb. The story’s premise is stupid.

    1. I stand with Warty… but not that closely.

      1. I mean, I suppose you could consider it low-carb compared to the average American’s diet of Mountain Dew and Cheetos, but…no.

        1. The first time I read about Paleo’s consuming sweet potatoes I was dubious of the whole er, “movement”

          1. They’re aspiring to some mythical, natural past that never truly existed. Human beings are opportunists, now and always. We eat what tastes good – fat and sugar – and so it shouldn’t be surprising that humans learned to cultivate those and lock down regular, dependable supplies of both.

            If you want to lose weight and be healthy, follow the diet that helps you do that without wanting to gnaw off your own arm out of frustration and hunger. Get your blood checked every year to make sure you’re doing okay. Incorporate some exercise because it’ll make you feel better, if nothing else.

            1. Yes. It’s a useful heuristic that will likely improve the quality of your diet if you follow it, but like all religions, it’s retarded if you turn it into a religion.

              1. What if you have a Crossfitter who follows the Paleo diet… compatible faiths?

                1. Oh yes, very compatible. The overlap approaches 100%.

                2. Yeah, to really do Crossfit, you need to be taking in a shitload of protein.

                  So, actually, they are quite compatible.

            2. The diet we’re most adapted to is probably more like a scavenger’s diet. With lots of periods of starvation. So gorge on dead animals off the ground, fast for days at a time, and drink untreated water.

              1. + 1 hunting trip with the bros.

                1. Texans invented eating armadillo roadkill.

    2. This.^

      I took a lot more words to say it, but this.

      Paleo dieters aren’t that “low carb.” They just start off the premise of what our ancestors ate, and in their view – perhaps erroneously – that means casting off many modern sources of starches and sugar. They don’t specifically avoid carbohydrates, though, or count them obsessively like a low-carbohydrate dieter does. They do eat fruit and fruit is very high in sugar most of the time. They also don’t deliberately seek out ketosis, which requires calculating macronutrient ratios (fat:protein:carbohydrate).

      1. Small amounts of fruit – as fruit was seasonal, I guess. Lean-protein and vegetables. Adopting it has helped my quite a bit.

        1. If I eat a banana every three days only during the season, it’s a break in my low-carbohydrate diet. It’s perfectly Paleo, but it’s probably not low carb, unless you occasionally eat a half cup of raspberries or some very low-sugar fruit.

          I also don’t avoid fatty proteins. In fact, I deliberately skew my diet so that I consume more fat than anything else (about 85% fat).

          1. I’m cutting back carbs to ~80g a day, ultimately aiming for 60. Any less than that and I might go broke eliminating cheap fillers. I like my black beans.

            1. It’s expensive, I won’t lie.

              I buy avocados (2 for $4 where I live), romaine or bags of salad to save time ($1.99 – $2.50), and frozen broccoli ($1.50), as well as a lot of butter and eggs. Those go a long way, are low in carbs, and aren’t that expensive.

              What will break the bank is lots of cheese and cuts of meat. I have to purchase those judiciously. I splurge and get higher-quality ground beef, but otherwise it’s chicken and pork to save money. On holidays, lamb and steak.

              1. That’s about where I am. And a lot of mayonnaise. Post-workout egg or tuna salads almost every day.

              2. I found pork belly for 1.98/lb
                I smoked it over hickory for 3 hours, finished with Texas Crutch in the oven for 3 more.
                Dry rub was cayane, salt, garlic powder, pepper.
                I would have killed any man who tried to take a piece. Took me four days to eat the whole thing.

                Total cost was about 7$. Along with eggs and some sausages it was my diet for that week.

                1. I understand steak is expensive. But people on here (Looking at you Hugh) complaining about high food costs just aren’t trying. When you include carbs as a major source in your diet you can get your daily costs for food so low to be nearly irrelevant.

                  Pork but, 2.85/lb
                  Norwegian Salmon, 4.99/lb
                  the above mentioned belly, 1.98/lb
                  ox tail, 2.99/lb
                  marrow bones, free from butcher (have him slice lengthwise, baste with balsamic and salt, broil on high for 15 min, scoop out marrow and smother on your naked body) That shit is 12$ at a restaurant but you can make it FOR FUCKING FREE!

                2. *stands to applaud, wipes tear from eye*

          2. And remember that a modern, selectively bred, banana is huge compared to a naturally occurring paleobanana. But also modern humans bigger than our ancestors.

        2. Forget the lean protein and make it fatty protein. It tastes better and makes you more full, which makes you want to snack less.

    3. I am sure the Paleo dieter folk are up in arms over this story, which means their brethren the crossfitters are up in arms, and since the crossfitters have become some of the most annoying people on the planet, I am all for this story.

    4. All fad diets are dumb, unless you have a legit medical need like Celiac’s. You need variety, and the more the better. Most fat people aren’t fat because of what they eat, they’re fat because they’re lazy.

      1. I guess the Paleo diet is more about general health than losing weight, so just replace “fat” with “unhealthy” above.

      2. Most fat people aren’t fat because of what they eat, they’re fat because they’re lazy.

        No, I think you have that exactly wrong. Most people are fat fucks because their diets are garbage.

        1. It’s the GMOs. GMOs make people fat.

        2. If you exercise you can eat pretty much anything you want and not get fat. The more fit you are, the better your body is at burning calories. The more active you are, the less likely you are to eat out of boredom.

      3. When I was the most fit I’ve ever been in my life, I ate whatever I wanted. Chipotle was about 50% of my diet. This was back when I lived next door to a Chipotle and great gym.

      4. The “variety” argument is about as silly as any fad diet is. If I’m getting essential vitamins and minerals, and taking in the macronutrients I need to survive, and my blood work is awesome, why do I need diet variety?

        I don’t think you’ve ever been fat or known a lot of fat people if you think it’s really only laziness. And it’s easy to look at someone who’s already fat and notice how little they can do physically, and assume they were like that always. Being fat is physically painful. They’re “lazy” because they struggle to do with ease what thinner people do. That doesn’t mean they’re lazy by nature, though, or weak.

        1. If I’m getting essential vitamins and minerals, and taking in the macronutrients I need to survive, and my blood work is awesome, why do I need diet variety?

          If you’re getting all that stuff then you, by definition, have variety in your diet. I was deriding the people who cut out a whole group of foods, thus depriving themselves of the nutrients that can only be obtained from that group of food.

          They’re “lazy” because they struggle to do with ease what thinner people do. That doesn’t mean they’re lazy by nature, though, or weak.

          You’re right. It means they’ve decided they would rather be fat than do the things that would make them less fat (like exercise more).

          “lazy” because they struggle to do with ease what thinner people do. That doesn’t mean they’re lazy by nature, though, or weak.

          If they struggle because of some injury or illness that struck them down in their prime of health, then yes, they aren’t necessarily lazy. Otherwise, they either don’t care or are lazy. And if they are trying to get slim on a fad diet, then they obviously care, thus leaving only one possibility.

    5. The best book I ever read on dietary history and inheritance was “Why Some Like It Hot” by Gary Paul Nabhan.

  23. Slate: Straight women are terrorizing gay men in NYC
    …It was long recognized by gay marriage advocates like Andrew Sullivan that the normalization of gay marriage would bring about the collapse of gay culture; married gay men would seek quiet suburbs and eschew decades of the decadent party scene that was the epicenter of gay life, which would contract to become a brief gateway for younger, uncoupled gay men instead of the vibrant, multi-generational locus it once was.

    What Sullivan and others didn’t expect was feminism alienating straight men and women from either other to the point where the only social contact a straight woman could have with a man at all was to seek out a gay one in the hope they could be turned into either sex partners or at least, the sycophantic admirers that their straight, friend-zoned male acquaintances used to be. In feminist speak, straight men are rapey, arrogant, cat-calling assholes and a woman should be terrified of every man she sees on the street ? indeed, men are supposed to cross the street and not scare these fragile flowers by walking headlong past them….

    1. That is the craziest thing I have ever read. Since when are gays terrorized by fag hags?

      1. Since when are gays terrorized by fag hags?

        I cringe every time a woman says she is hanging out with “her gays” or “my gay” or something similar.

        1. Yeah. That is never a sign of sanity. I would put fag hag higher on the stay the fuck away scale than owning a lot of cats. The cats are at least cute. The pack or gaggle or murder (what exactly is the collective noun for gays?) bitchy queens that comprise their social group are not cute and will not go away. Its also a sign of serious self esteem issues and issues with men in general.

    2. What the fuck?

    3. “It was long recognized by gay marriage advocates like Andrew Sullivan that the normalization of gay marriage would bring about the collapse of gay culture; married gay men would seek quiet suburbs and eschew decades of the decadent party scene that was the epicenter of gay life”

      Wait a second, John is actually Andrew Sullivan?

      1. OK, people, we’re done here. Last person turn out the lights.

        1. Sullivan is a bottom. I am a pitcher all the way.

      2. No. I just know what Sullivan said. If you know anything about Sullivan, it is funny as shit to hear Libertarians praise the guy. Sullivan is a repressed fucked up Catholic SOCON. He basically created the gay marriage cause and he did it on the theory that it would get the decadent gay men in line. It is not going to work. Gays are all running out and getting married so they can fuck over their enemies. That will get old real quick after a few trips to divorce court. Give a ten or fifteen years and gays will be wondering why in the hell so many of their older peers wanted to get married so badly.

    4. Straight women are terrorizing gay men in NYC

      Yes: an acquaintance once took me and some friends (mixture of gay and straight men and women) to one of those snotty, velvet-rope places I would normally never be caught dead in. After getting a drink and finding a spot where I could stand bored out of my fucking mind without being in anyone’s way, it took less than 5 minutes for some stuck-up socialite bitch to sneer at we “what are YOU doing here?”

      1. “Looking for hot tail to rape. You’re safe. “

          1. “Oh yeah? The jerk store called – they’re running out of you!”

    5. I find it hilarious that SJWs are turning on straight women, or white women.

      #WhenTheSJWsCameForMe

  24. http://www.washingtonexaminer……le/2570391

    This is not about bias against men despite what the article claims. The accused harasser is male. This is about a straight guy not understanding his place. Gays are a higher and sacred class and the student should have understood that and accepted the harassment.

    1. How the hell did the professor not get suspended for that behavior? Oh that’s right, I forgot that all people are not equal according to the tribunals of Title IX. Such bullshit.

      1. Because he is gay. If he had done it to a woman or if a woman had done that to a man, the professor would have been nailed. But gays are a higher class in prog world.

      2. Well the alleged harassment had been going on for three years and the guy waited another two years before making a complaint.

        I can understand why there would be no rush to investigate this.

    2. Sounds like, on appeal, a real judge not associated with Northwestern said he has a legitimate Title IX case and can proceed.

    3. That’s the second Examiner link this morning. It’s either a terribly put together website or the most bullet-proof web design ever imagined, because I cannot interact with anything on the page at all. Not even highlighting interactive components.

  25. According to a new poll, Donald Trump is now competitive in the general election for the presidency.

    President Kamacho here we come.

    1. Finally, a solution to the burrito wrapper shortage.

      1. Finally, a solution

        You know who else…

  26. The dark side of Donald Trump: How gridlock leads to dangerous populism & authoritarian zeal

    The racial hue of Trump’s vision is obvious, and it’s understandable that commentators are inclined to see Trumpism through that lens. But there was another important Trump-related media development over the weekend. It was a stellar piece by the Washington Post’s Dave Weigel, who recently spent some time in Flint, Michigan, talking to some of “the Donald’s” biggest fans. And while nostalgia for an era when whiteness meant more than it does today was common, Weigel’s piece suggests that racial anxiety isn’t the main reason these folks are embracing Trump. What they like about him, it appears, is that he is a more convincing authoritarian.

    “I don’t think he’d go to Congress and ask,” one supporter said to Weigel about a hypothetical President Trump. “I think he’d just do it.” A dutiful student of high school civics knows that the framers of the Constitution took great pains to keep such a sentiment from governing the country. But for the voters Weigel spoke to, such a display of presidential “strength” (a favored word of Trump and his believers) is badly needed.

    1. Glenn Beck is baffled by Trump’s popularity.

    2. Yeah, boy, if there is one thing that Salon readers fear and loathe it is authoritarianism in the form of out-of-control government! That is Shreik-level hypocrisy right there…

      1. That is Shreik-level hypocrisy right there…

        Well, it IS a Weigel piece.

    3. “I don’t think he’d go to Congress and ask,” one supporter said to Weigel about a hypothetical President Trump. “I think he’d just do it.”

    4. It is a good thing Obama hasn’t set the precedent for doing that or anything.

      1. It is is of a piece with my last days of the republic pessimism, we are sliding down a slippery slope of what is acceptable for an executive to do and the legislature has little will or even interest to defend its perogatives.

  27. I am pleased I was able to fool at least a few people yesterday with my fake Aztec weapon, the machipotletec, pronounced “ma chipotle tec”.

    1. Weaponized Chipotle? Sounds deadly enough to me…

      1. I thought it was already weaponized.

        1. Oh yeah…I hurt just looking at that…

          1. I love that stuff. Take a can, puree it in the food processor, and add it to a couple cans black beans. Then use in burritos, nachos, huevos rancheros or whatever. FEEL THE BURN!

            1. Normally I am pretty down with hot stuff….right now, I need a couple more weeks of healing.

    2. The weapon was real, the name was faked.

  28. Iran’s supreme leader is not happy about this McDonald’s knockoff in Tehran

    The supreme leader of Iran went off about American influence in his country, saying that even with a newly struck nuclear deal, they will “block all attempts of penetration of Iran.”

    Much of the concern seems to revolve around American culture seeping into Iran ? like the knockoff fast food restaurants that have popped up in the country.

    “We thought that they would bring Boeing technology, but they want to bring McDonald’s,” Gen. Mohammad Reza Naghdi, a leader of the Islamic Revolutionary Guards Corps, said last week, according to the Times.

    First they came for Cuba…

    1. And the blue jeans our young people are wearing! Next it will be western style leg warmers and Jheri curls!

    2. My favorite McDonalds knock off is the fictional McRonalds in the Devil is a Part Timer.

    3. moneyquote:

      The New York Times reported earlier this month that restaurants like Mash Donald’s, Kabooki Fried Chicken, and Pizza Hat have recently been spotted in and around Tehran.

        1. Logical and brilliant. The logo DOES look like a fedora…

      1. It’s like The Simpsons writers all bought franchises in Iran.

        1. +1 Magnetbox and Sorny

        2. Kentucky Fried Panda–it’s Finger Ling-Ling good!

    4. To quote the Supreme Leader:

      “We waste no efforts to shut ways of infiltration into the country.We’ll allow neither economic, nor political, nor cultural intrusion of US.”

      WAIT A MINUTE! Sheldon Richman assured me that Obama’s nuclear deal would bring us peace and harmony by allowing economic, political and cultural interaction between our two countries…

  29. As horrible as Diet Pepsi was, apparently it’s worse without aspartame

    Some customers are complaining that the new Diet Pepsi, which hit stores last week, tastes “terrible” and has a strange aftertaste.

    “Diet Pepsi is awful,” one customer wrote on the company’s Facebook page. “I hate the new flavor.”

    Another wrote, “Got a bunch of the new diet Pepsi. Disgusting. Will have to return. Bring the old one back.”

    1. I really like sucralose. I use the liquid form in my coffee and espresso. Maybe most people aren’t used to the flavor. Or it’s the blend.

      Also, I’m a Coke Zero gal.

      1. +1 on the Coke Zero.

      2. gal

        !!!!!!!!!!!!

        TITS OR GTFO

        1. TIWTANLW

  30. ‘Donald Trump was AMAZING in bed’: Former Penthouse Pet reveals the presidential hopeful had his secretary track her down after spotting her in a sexy magazine spread… and he didn’t disappoint

    Former Penthouse Pet Sandra Taylor said in a recent interview that Donald Trump was amazing in bed
    The presidential hopeful had a secretary track Taylor down for a date after spotting her on the cover of New York magazine
    Trump also advised Taylor on her career, urging her to change her name which at the time was Sandi Korn and giving her a copy of his biography
    The pair split when their relationship became public in early 1991, shortly after Trump had split from first wife Ivana

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..pread.html

    1. Because that’s an image we all needed.

      1. The image of his sweat-laden hair-pelt sprinkling droplets of desire on a beautiful woman after each Trump-thrust?

        1. Yes, that image. I’m just glad it was you that replied and not SugarFree…

          1. SugarFree is formulating a response that incorporates both Michelle Obama’s veiny cock, and Hillary’s thigh rash. ,

        2. “Trump-thrust” shall hereafter be referred to as “Thrumps”.

          1. A Trump Hump.

    2. “Things that will never be said about me”, for $1000…

  31. Trump’s bonkers head and sasquatchian body under every babe who is a CNN… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NATHjnI7x1M

    1. Shorty #2 is a cutie pie.

      1. Yes, that girl is a cute CNN.

  32. Learning language with Derpy- Pronouns

    Most European languages have a formal and an informal “you”. The formal “you” often doubles as the plural “you” (y’all) as well.

    Some languages do not distinguish between he and she. In Chinese and Swahili, there is only 1 3rd person singular pronoun.

    In some Asian languages, pronouns like “I” and “you” are rarely used except when addressing a spouse or a lover. Titles are used instead. For example, a Thai waiter would say “what would sir/madam like?” instead of “what would you like?”

    Languages like Spanish that have unique verb forms for each corresponding pronoun will usually omit pronouns.

    BTW: going to MEPS again on Monday to enlist. My job is reserved. 6 yr contract as a cryptolinguist with a $40k bonus. Score!

    1. No, that’s not true. He and she are pronounced the same in Chinese, but they are written differently.

      ? vs ?

      Chinese also has a pronoun for “it”, which is also pronounced the same as he and she. Summary: spoken Chinese can be confusing…

        1. Jordan for the WIN!!!

          1. Good job on the bonus, btw! Enjoy – ENJOY – DLI. It will never get that good in the Army again… not even in Hawaii…

            1. It will never get that good in the Army again… not even in Hawaii…

              Amen brother. I was stationed at Ft. Ord for 5 years (16R/S – Vulcan cannon/ Stinger missile crew) and the parties, both civilian in Monterey/Carmel and DLI, were bloody awesome. The only hot female soldiers I’ve ever seen were at DLI.

    2. Was it your ability to communicate with the creature known as Warty that won you the job? Congrats.

      1. No understands Warty, there are merely those who survive hearing his voice.

    3. Remember, you will neither laugh nor cry – you will learn, and your Drill Sergeants will teach you.

      1. Ask away Bridge Keeper, I am not afraid!

    4. Hungarian and Finnish don’t distinguish between he and she either.

    5. Turks have a devil of a time with gendered pronouns. They almost always default to “he” when speaking English, even Turks who are fluent. It produces some interesting interactions among the uninitiated.

  33. So Menendez has come out against the Iran deal. I am still not writing off the possibility Congress overrides the veto on that. If that happens, the Obama butt hurt and petulance is going to be wonderful.

  34. I’ve been listening to Warren Zevon a lot lately. Hard to believe it’s been 12 years since he died. We all got old in a hurry, didn’t we?

    My Shit’s Fucked Up

    Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner

    1. Love me some of that Roland song… Gah! Just too good, Zevon’s lyrics….

      1. Van Owen really was a son of a bitch.

      2. Lawyers, Guns and Money and Excitable Boy are great too.

        1. Mr. Bad Example

    2. I remember learning that via Paul Schaeffer on Letterman

      1. Shouldn’t Enjoy Every Sandwich chime in on this?

    3. Hey Warty, I want some advice;

      Since a really bad bicycling accident about 10 years ago, I’ve been injury prone, and in the past two years the frequency of straining muscles whild working around the house has gotten worse.

      I am of the opinion that being in my mid 40’s, I am losing muscle mass and need to turn it around.

      I recently joined the local YMCA, and have started jogging and swimming regularly there. I want to start lifting weights to improve my strength while also doing the things needed to keep me limber.

      Are there any good books or websites you would recommend?

      Basically, I have the beginnings of osteoarthritis in one hand, the opposite shoulder, and at the base of my spine. I have a small tear in my achiles about half an inch above the heel. So I can’t do anything crazy. I just want to slowly improve my strength and get to a point where I can lift myself over a few ledges, move an air conditioner up three flights of stairs etc without getting hurt.

      1. This is the best book on general weight training in existence.

        And you have the right idea. Being able to deadlift 650 or whatever I can do is fun, but it’s kind of just vanity. What really matters is maintaining the strength to live a fulfilling life into old age. Sarcopenia is a truly terrible thing to watch.

        1. 650…holy shit.
          my biggest ever was 315
          and I am a big guy.

      2. You’ll also probably want to get that achilles tear repaired. You’re probably not going to tear it by squatting and deadlifting, but I really wouldn’t want to put too much tension on something that looks like a torn piece of paper.

      3. Not Warty (obv), but am older and also fighting “the battle of the bulge”. Focus on keeping moving and working on your mobility. Swimming is really good, low-resistance. Walking is easy as you can do it anywhere; add some hand weights and do some obstacles (low walls, steps, whatevs). Cycling is also good, aerobic and can be low impact, but don’t know if that’s compatible with your tendon.

      4. Deadlift for the mother f’in win. Listen to Uncle Warty, it has made a great difference in my overall ability to handle life’s little continuing moments of strain and stress.

        1. Deadlifts – and squats too, front and back. I’ve never felt better.

          But, as a middle-aged man myself – be sure to watch your form! If it’s off – you’ll be very sorry.

          1. That’s why a book like Starting Strength (pace Warty above) is so important. It’s very, very strong on form and technique.

            In my case, it paid for itself in 10 minutes, explaining why you need old-style, flat footwear (think old school converse basketball shoes) rather that modern fancy-schmancy footwear.

            While I did rowing and walking rather than cycling and walking, I found hand weights and the lifting from Starting Strength to be far better use of my time.

  35. The FDA has approved the drug flibanserin, more commonly known as “female Viagra.”

    Female Viagra has been available over the counter for years. It’s called KY.

    1. KY promotes the ability, not the desire.

      1. go on…

      2. Just like Viagra.

        1. The article mistakenly conflates Viagra with a desire enhancer.

          1. Yes, and a lot of people do. Especially women. People have been asking when there will be a female Viagra ever since Viagra came out. But a drug that makes you horny is a lot trickier than one that increases blood flow. Basically, dudes want to get laid from the time they hit puberty until they die of old age, and for the last 20 or so years, we’ve had the technology to let them do that.

      3. I think you could say that about Viagra for men–it just opens up blood vessels, it doesn’t actually cause arousal.

  36. so this video claims it can get me to vote for Sanders in 180 seconds:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtBVuye4fZQ

    1. For some reason, I am still not persuaded.

    2. When anybody talks about America today vs the past I immediately think of the scene from team america when sean penn talks about what Iraq was like before the us invaded.

      Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.

    3. Probably true, given that the first 179 seconds happen between now and November 2016 and the last second occurs just before Hell freezes over.

    4. Bernie in the video: The problems that we face did not come down from the heavens. They are made. The are made by bad human decisions.

      Bad decisions like 23 types of deoderant, right Bern?!

      1. Yea what is up with him acting like this is some third world country? How does he explain illegals wanting to come here, working for less and some how making it? He acts like the apocalypse is upon is.

  37. The Morning Jokers were talking Hillary. The consensus was pretty much, “LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE!”
    Also, “Can we really pretend she would be a good President when it’s obvious she surrounds herself with nothing but sycophants and yespersons?”
    Mika was squirming. She looked like she was about to puke.

    1. It’s been apparent all along that she’d be a terrible president. I mean, what has she done or said that hasn’t shouted that out to the world? There’s a malignancy in America now that allows people like her to be treated like they aren’t incompetent, corrupt, immoral, etc. I’m love to blame that all on the totally useless press, but, obviously, it’s not just them.

      1. But it’s mostly them.

  38. Hamas arrests dolphin accused of being an Israeli spy

    The militant Palestinian group Hamas has “arrested” a dolphin discovered off the Gaza coast and accused it of being no Flipper. In fact, the organization believes the dolphin is actually an Israeli spy.

    For real though: Army Radio reported that the dolphin was decked out with “spying equipment,” including cameras, when it was captured by Hamas’ naval unit. While The Times of Israel reports that the Israeli Navy has a fleet of “dolphin-class submarines,” Hamas was definitely talking about an actual dolphin.

    1. A porpoise with a purpose.

      1. Re-purpose that porpoise.

          1. Get back in your papoose.

    2. The US has been using those for years. John Lilly, upon whom the movie Altered States was based, was the US Navy’s top dolphin guy. This could happen.

      1. It’s like The Day of the Dolphin never happened.

        1. *Click-click*

          “Oh, shit.”

          Ka-Boooom!

  39. According to a new poll, Donald Trump is now competitive in the general election for the presidency.

    There is very little difference in Hillary vs . She is capped between 51 and 54%. But CNN needs to blow Trump hence the “news”.

  40. Is it just me, or are the arguments against H1-B Visas by conservatives almost identical to arguments in favor of a high minimum wage from progressives?

    For example, in Silicon Valley the prevailing wage for a programmer is $93,891. However, an employer can legally pay an H-1B worker $57,179. An employer can save $36,000 a year by going H-1B. It is no wonder that H-1B workers are concentrated in high-wage locations of the country. ?

    So American programmers are still making almost $100,000 a year, but H-1B Visas are terrible because those people make less money.

    But it saves American companies money, thus making our tech industry more competitive internationally and American programmers are still making almost six figures.

    The horror.

    1. The thing I hate about H1-B visas is that it is a form of indentured servitude. I’d much rather just give those people green cards and let them move around in our economy.

      1. I agree. The problem with H1-B visas is that they fuck up the labor market by making it less flexible.

        That’s not the reason conservatives whine about them though.

        1. I do not like it when a brown person takes a job from me that I am not qualified for.

          1. SECONDED!!!

      2. I sometimes work with an Indian – from another company – who is here on a H1-B visa. This company is threatening to ditch him. So he’s scrambling around trying to get any kind of job he can – he said “the pay doesn’t matter as long as I can stay.”

        We thought about bringing him on her – not that we need a full-time programmer – but because he would be so damn cheap for his skill set.

        1. /or at least that’s how I heard it.

        2. I’ve only had experience working with two Indian programmers, and at least in my experience their code was practically impossible to maintain. Don’t know if it was just them, or how they are taught. But man, if anything went wrong it had to be redone from scratch. No comments, poorly named variables and functions, crappy logic. You get what you pay for.

        3. Right. That aspect of the law is atrocious, but it’s atrocious because of what it does to the immigrant. That’s not the complaint being made.

      3. But that’s probably one reason it hits wages harder, since the employee has a lot less room to negotiate.

      4. The thing I hate about H1-B visas is that it is a form of indentured servitude.

        So much this. Anyone who has been through the H1-B process knows how it nails your feet to the floor of your sponsor’s sweatshop, and keeps you from just being in the labor market.

        My rough take on immigration reform is that we should be pretty free with open-ended residency permits, that are conditioned on you holding a job, any job, and not ever applying for or taking any kind of tax-payer funded transfer payment.

        Now, enforcing that is going to require some kind of agency, granted. But I believe it would be a lot less intrusive than what we have now, and the alternative (no enforcement agency, no enforcement of immigration restrictions, completely open borders) is not acceptable to me.

    2. For example, in Silicon Valley the prevailing wage for a programmer is $93,891. However, an employer can legally pay an H-1B worker $57,179.

      An employer… in Silicon Valley, and an H1B… programmer though? Not technically, since that would violate the prevailing wage conditions (although they may be able to get away with it). Notice the careful use of language there though. If some Indian DBA (an H1B “worker”) in Wisconsin is being paid $57,179 and the prevailing wage of a programmer in Silicon Valley is $93,891, the statement is technically correct, but the meaning changes dramatically.

      1. Hold it. Does the HB1 employer have to pay the prevailing wage nationally or for that area? If an employer in Silicon Valley can pay the national wage, then the post makes a valid point.

        1. The prevailing wage rate is defined as the average wage paid to similarly employed workers in a specific occupation in the area of intended employment.

          To be fair though, it’s sort of the honor system – the sponsor company must file the prevailing wage paperwork, there’s not like a government database that spits out a range for each application.

          1. “honor system” is another name for “crony system”. I have no doubt the amount of scrutiny ICE gives an employer is directly inverse to the amount of political pull they have.

        2. My vague recollection is that its not specific, meaning you can do a regional wage rather than the national wage.

          Keep in mind, though, that the national wage for programmers is higher than the Silicon Valley wage, as are the regional wages in probably every other market.

          This is a Silicon Valley problem: at some point, the wage premium exceeds the benefit of being in Silicon Valley.

          1. When my was was H1B many moons ago her company had layoffs and took everyone else down to half salary. They could NOT taker her to half though as she would lose her sponsorship. They has to keep paying her the min. at that time. Not much ABOVE half salary at the time but still more than some of her co-workers were getting paid.

    3. To some degree yes. But like everything the devil is in the details. Immigration controls are to some degree protectionism to keep wages up. That makes them analogous to the minimum wage in some ways but not all ways. If you raise the minimum wage, you raise the price of labor and cause businesses to hire fewer people and rely more on capital investment over labor. This of course lowers total employment. If you have immigration controls, wages are higher than they would have been before and businesses invest more in capital than in labor and there are fewer jobs. The difference is when you restrict immigration you have fewer workers as well. So you don’t the negative effect on the employment market that you do with raising the minimum wage, which has the same effect on employers but doesn’t also lower the number of workers.

      1. Slightly OT, but it’s always amused me that there is considerable overlap between the people calling for a $15+ per hour minimum wage and people who advocate mass illegal immigration because “they’re taking jobs Americans won’t do”. It couldn’t possibly be that the byzantine wage and regulatory structure in this country incentivizes grey and black market hiring.

        1. I find that amusing too.

    4. Well, the tech companies are saying they need the H1-B visas be ause there are not enough Americans available to take those jobs. What really seems to ge happening is that there are not enough Americans who will accept the low wages the companies want to pay.

      There is also evidence that Americans are generally more skilled than their H1-B replacements. Foreign labor is generally cheaper because it is lower quality.

  41. More language trivia

    In Swahili, the word dawa can mean drug, chemical, or medicine depending on the context. It can even mean a magic potion.

    There are at least 70 expressions in Swahili that use the verb kupiga which means to hit or strike. Piga teke (hit the kick) means kick, piga kura (hit the ballot) means vote, piga maji (hit the water) means to get really drunk, piga risasi (hit the lead) means to shoot a gun, piga kelele (hit the noise) means to shout, piga hodi (hit the knock) means to ask to enter someone’s house…there are so many.

    In Japanese, the word for “different” also means “wrong”.

    In English, the word “get” has at least 9 meanings: receive, understand, arrive, become, affect, capture, bring, earn, meet/talk with

    1. TECHNICALLY, the Japanese say “It differs” to mean “That’s wrong” because to say “You’re wrong” would be FAR too direct for them, so they soften it by making it more passive and saying “It differs”. They DO have a word for “wrong” (??) but it isn’t used very often. They also have various iterations of “incorrect”.

      1. The word I meant is chigau.

        1. Chigau, chigau! Onara jya nai. Kooki ga haitta dake.

        2. That is the word I meant too

      2. Fuka? Unpossible!

        1. I hear “???” (fukano – not possible or unlikely) more frequently than “??” (fuka)

          1. I just the arms crossed in a big X. Especially at the realitors.

            1. A pivitol, and greatly satisfying, point in my life was when wife and I bought a (small) building and I became a landlord to a couple small Japanese companies.

  42. I mentioned the Hillary emails in the news to my neighbor yesterday and he jumped to her defense saying that the stuff either wasn’t classified at the time or was later declassified. When I pointed out that he had no need to yell he clarified that he doesn’t really like Hillary, just that I had my information wrong. He likes Sanders. I let the conversation end at that point.

    1. Because “it was later declassified” is so a defense to mishandling classified information.

      1. Like I said, I let the conversation end at that point. If the guy likes Sanders then there is no point in attempting a rational conversation on the subject of politics.

      2. In court, this is what is known as an “admission against interest.” You’re basically confessing that you broke the law, and begging for leniency on the sentencing.

    2. Don’t mention her “slush fund” foundation accepting donations from nations with business before her while she was Secretary of State. He might scream at you again.

    3. You know who else yelled to get their point across…

        1. + 1 Shout, shout, and shout again!

    4. I wouldn’t have been able to let it go, but then again, I spent almost a decade and a half working under DoS/DoD strictures (and have a lifetime commitment to same, if I want to stay out of jail).

  43. I still believe Trump’s popularity is mainly due to the democrats and the media’s tireless efforts to make everything dumb.

    1. It’s partly one thumb in the eye of the scum in the “mainstream” media, and partly another thumb in the eye of the sorry-ass Bush/Rove/Boehner republican party establishment.

      1. he’s got appeal that crosses party lines and that the stupid are vulnerable to. he’s a reality TV star.

  44. By my count, Hit and Run has speakers of: Spanish, French, Italian, Portuguese, Russian, Thai, Swahili, Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Turkish, Hindi, German, Dutch, and Latin.

    Did I forget any? What a cosmopolitan forum we have!

      1. You talk like a fag and your shit’s all retarded.

        1. You see, a pimp’s love is very different from that of a square.

          1. + 1 American Pimp

    1. What a cosmopolitan forum we have!

      Why do you think the Mises folk revile us?

    2. Don’t forget Thing-ian.

    3. I would have said Arabic and Dari…but they are just fading away from my memory… 🙁

      1. Pashto, probably, too. Tagalog?

    4. ASL

    5. Afrikaans?

    6. Polish speaker here, so that takes us down a few notches.

    7. You left out Legalese.

    8. I think there’s some Finnish speakers. I seem to recall a thread a while back on that topic.

    9. Add Welsh, boyo.

    10. How about Klingon?

      1. I haz a sad for Derpy…

        Surely someone here speaks jive.

  45. Has Hillary applied for a Russian visa?
    That would be awesome.

  46. CNN, twerk that Trumper!

  47. Swahili is a mine field for malapropisms.

    Chupa means bottle. Chupi means underwear.
    Mbao means board or chalkboard. Mboo is vulgar slang for penis.
    Kubaki means to stay. Kubaka means to rape.
    Kumi means 10. Kuma means cunt.
    Bahasha means envelope. Basha means a homosexual.

    One time, I made the mistake of asking for a large homosexual at the post office.

    In Japanese, the word for carrot sounds a lot like the word for human. I read an article about a Canadian who gave a speech in Japanese where he passionately declared: I am a carrot. You are a carrot. We are all carrots. And as long as we remember our common carrotness, we will be fine.

    1. I don’t think ninjin (carrot) and ningen (human) sound alike at all. ?? and ??. The guy just got confused and said ??.

      1. BTW, since when did Reason allow Kanji?

        1. “since when did Reason allow Kanji?”

          It is the mystery which can not be discussed except with the high-priest of squirrels

          As the prophesy foretells, we shall learn the truth from posts with 3 links or more

          1. And now I can’t post any. This has something to do with a server in a bathroom, doesn’t it.

        2. People mistake ninjin for ningen because jin is another reading for person (?), so they misremember it, conflating it with minjin or similar stuff.

        3. I’m guessing it’s a combination of what the browser allows to be rendered vs. your computer’s installed fonts.

    2. I’m pretty sure that Canadian was just using a pun on the use of two pronunciations of ? (nin and jin) – I have used the same pun before.

      1. Seen this guy? I thought of this stuff in 1999, but he did it so…..kudos.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fk-Gn3w2gt0

  48. Did I forget any?

    Jive. You forgot jive.
    And Cyborguese.

    1. Cyborgese….

      One speaks it, many interpret it in different ways…

  49. Some people are assholes

    A 93-year-old Tuskegee Airman struggling to find his daughter’s house in St. Louis was robbed and then carjacked minutes later.

    The World War II veteran got lost while trying to find his daughter’s home Sunday morning and pulled over to call her, CNN affiliate KMOV reported.

    That’s when a suspect got into his car in broad daylight and robbed him. The assailant fled in another vehicle.

  50. As part of the Greek bailout, Greece has to divest some state-owned assets. Germans are already cashing in

    Germany will soon be running many of Greece’s busiest tourist airports.

    Airport operator Fraport, which is controlled by the German state of Hesse and the Frankfurt city utility, is paying 1.2 billion euros ($1.3 billion) for a 40-year concession to manage 14 regional Greek airports.

    Greece committed to raise 50 billion euros ($55 billion) by selling state assets as one condition of its new 86 billion euro international bailout. The airport deal is the first major transaction under the privatization program.

    1. Ass, gas or grass, nobody rides for free.

    2. I see the German government is a student of my cunning plans, as I recommended foreclosure a couple of bailouts ago.

    3. You know who else advocated Germans taking over Greek airstrips…
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Crete

        1. Which is sad because it sealed the fate of the FG-42 which was a weapon far ahead of its time.

          Well, at least until the end of the war when American engineers mated FG-42’s to the MG-42 belt-feed system to build the first prototypes for what became the M-60 GPMG.

          1. Didn’t Kalashnikov rip off the FG-42 for his rifle?

            1. Some say Kalashnikov ripped off the StG-43/44 for his design but the operating systems are so different I don’t believe it.

    4. How long until Greece enacts a 99% airport profits tax?

  51. Office politics question: I was contacted by the lead for another team in my office a few weeks ago. I was thinking he was going to talk to me about becoming a full-timer here, but he pretty much just wanted me to jump to another contract and be another butt in the seat because his team can’t handle their workload. Blew smoke up my ass and the whole nine yards. I told him I’m primarily interested in what they can offer me FTE-wise and we left it at that.

    Yesterday I was contacted by a higher-level exec (5th floor!!! Woo!) and he wants to “chat” now.

    What say you – are they prepared to pursue an FTE position for me, or are they trying to hard sell me on jumping to the other contract?

    The other contract, BTW, is with a very large company where I wouldn’t be able to establish the same kind of personal relationships I have now (for example, the CEOs of both my current and previous employer know my name). It’s not very appealing, unless the salary is outrageous. But the government employees that want to “chat” with me are in no position to talk to me about salaries & benefits, etc.

    1. I am sure you know this but just to remind you, you don’t owe them shit. So never fall for the whole “take one for the team and loyalty” bullshit. Those sorts of assurances are about as good as the guy who pledges he won’t cum inside you. So take whichever job works best for you. If you like where you are at, don’t leave unless they are willing to pay up for you to do so.

      Second, don’t let them lean on you. It sounds like they want you to change jobs but are too fucking cheap to pay you to do so. So they are first trying to blow smoke up your ass and see if they can get you to go out of ego. When that fails, they will likely try to intimidate you and imply that not doing it will produce some kind of vague consequences down the road. Don’t buy that either. They clearly need you and value you or they wouldn’t be asking. So don’t let them bluff you.

      Bottom line, they want something from you. Don’t be afraid to extort every last penny out of them you can before you give it to them. And don’t be afraid to walk away and stay where you are. Never forget, they are the ones with the problem not you.

      1. I wonder how long it is before government contractors are forbidden to negotiate salaries on the Ellen Pao principle.

        1. I wonder if anyone has ever explained to Pao that she always gets a lower salary not because she is a woman but because she always has a nasty butt hurt look on her face.

            1. But I wouldn’t leave my number.

            2. If you are into Asian chicks and grudge fucks maybe. She always has such an unpleasant look on her face. I can’t imagine sex with her being any kind of positive experience.

              1. Look, she turned gay guy straight. She must be doing something right!

                1. That or she is gay herself and they are just beards for each other. I am thinking that is the more likely possibility.

        2. Women need to just fucking nut up and learn how to play hardball.

      2. Oh, I know what’s best for #1. I’m just wondering if they’re trying to hard sell me on taking another contract job. It’s weird that these guys are even talking to me about this, as they are not in a position to talk logistics or hiring – that’s up to the contracting company.

        1. They clearly have some kind of problem they think you can solve. And maybe you can solve it for them. this might be a great thing. Just remember, it is their problem. So if they can make it worth your while to help them solve it great. Everyone always likes to help the home team. If they can’t, then stay where you are and don’t worry. Just say thanks but no thanks. I really can’t see there being a downside to you staying where you are, since you seem to like it.

          1. The first guy was trying to intimate that the contract he’s in charge of is long-term and stable, and the contract I’m currently on is somehow in jeopardy. But I ain’t no dummy. We’re in the middle of a very complicated project that’s scheduled to go through the end of our contract, and even through the election. No “interim” appointee is going to change to a new contractor mid-project. They maybe don’t think I know as much as I know about what goes on around here.

          2. BTW, if they continue to try to hint that the contract I currently work on is somehow up the creek, that’s some valuable info I can either put in my back pocket, or give to my bosses at my leisure.

            People think that because I’m quiet and an observer that I am somehow meek & retiring. Bad move on their part!

            1. Yes. It pays to listen and wait and keep quiet sometimes.

    2. Anyhoo – I’m having coffee with higher-on-the-food-chain guy in 30 minutes. We shall see. I’m only nervous that one of my colleagues will see me talking to him. People around here (especially the French dude and the redneck Maryland dude) like to gossip.

    3. Stay the course – let them know your priorities are only for sale at an outrageous sum.

    4. LOL. They’re in a pickle. They have stuff that desperately needs to get done on this one project and a couple of their principals will be out for several weeks. They want to pull me part-time, temporarily (I’d stay on my current contract, which would mean the other contracting company would have to compensate my company for my time). Basically, they want things to go back to the way they were before they (the Obama fuckwads) pulled all our work out from under us and handed it to another team.

      At any rate, this is stuff that needs to be worked out at a corporate/contract level and it was kind of a waste of time for them to even approach me with this nonsense.

      1. (also, this is very schadenfreude-tastic and karmically pleasing, as it was these Obamatrons that took away this work form our team and gave it to another contract. SUCK IT, LOSERS!)

    5. A couple of thoughts:

      (1) They obviously want/value you. Don’t forget that.

      (2) The biggest mistake most people make in negotiations is that they don’t know what their “walk-away” contingency plan is (the geeks call this “BATNA” – best alternative to a negotiated agreement). If you know that, you are negotiation from a position of strength. If you don’t, you aren’t negotiating, you’re begging.

      (3) It sounds like you know what you want. Figure out a way to get what you want, and give them what they want: “I’ll jump contracts, but only with an FTE guarantee, a new title, and a bump in pay” or whatever.

      1. Well, FTE status would mean I work for the government, so no jumping contracts needed.

        And then I would literally be the female Ron Swanson.

  52. Voters Want to Build A Wall, Deport Felon Illegal Immigrants

    Among all likely voters, 51% favor building a wall on the border; 37% disagree, and 12% are not sure. Eighty percent (80%) support the deportation of all illegal immigrants convicted of a felony; only 11% are opposed.

    Trump made both proposals in a policy paper he released this past weekend that calls for getting tough on illegal immigration. He cites a Rasmussen Reports survey to back up his proposal to end automatic citizenship for children born to illegal immigrants in this country. Fifty-four percent (54%) of voters disagree with the current federal policy that says a child born to an illegal immigrant here is automatically a U.S. citizen.

    Just 34% favor President Obama’s plan to protect up to five million illegal immigrants from deportation. Most voters continue to think instead that the United States is not aggressive enough in deporting those who are here illegally.

    1. Bound and determined to tackle the least pressing problems, aren’t we.

    2. This is a great example of how the pro immigration side lies with statistics. They always trot out that poll about how a majority supports giving illegals amnesty. Okay, but saying the ones who are here can stay, assuming they are not criminals, does not mean that they support letting more in. The open borders people never mention the second half of that sentence.

      1. The open borders people never mention the second half of that sentence.

        John, I wish you would stop lying about us.

        I am one of the vanishingly small number of truly open borders people out there. I have given you links to where I and a few other open borders guys have said the things you claim we are too gutless to tell people we believe.

        You have smeared us by including Barack Obama in our number, when everyone can see Barack Obama is not an open borders guy. When confronted on your lies, you have made incredibly lame responses such as your laughable claim that Barack “Executive Order Waiving Provisions of the Law” Obama is too stupid to realize that the Border Patrol reports to him.

        You are not fooling anyone on either side of the debate by playing so fast and loose with the truth. All it is doing is hurting your reputation as a debator.

        What’s wrong buddy? I don’t recall you being so thoroughly unhinged in the past. Is it mid life crisis? Is your wife talking about leaving you? Did someone named Mary Stack move next door to you and start leaving drowned and shaved squirrels in your mailbox?

        1. this from the person who claims deporting anyone is “retarded”. I love how you claim open borders advocates are a myth while being one yourself. I honestly have never met anyone who denies their own existence.

          Regardless. Reason has waved that amnesty poll around for weeks as conclusive proof that people don’t want something done about immigration. It doesn’t mean that at all.

          If there are no real “open borders advocates’, name a single measure to enforce immigration laws that Reason and the various Hispanic community race hustlers would not oppose. I can’t think of one. They all had a stroke when people even dared to mention that not deporting felons was a bad idea.

          And yes, Obama is one of you. Like gay marriage, the Prog left elite is all about open borders. And like gay marriage, they support it because they see it as a weapon to further prog politics. If you don’t like being in bed with them, stop supporting open borders.

          1. I love how you claim open borders advocates are a myth while being one yourself.

            That’s a lie.

            If there are no real “open borders advocates’, name a single measure to enforce immigration laws that Reason and the various Hispanic community race hustlers would not oppose.

            First, sunshine, that wasn’t what you were claiming. You were claiming that we open borders guys were craftily calling for amnesty without admitting that we want more people to subsequently immigrate. That… is… the horseshit I am calling you on.

            With that being said, on his Reddit AMA, Welch expicitly stated that he stops short of supporting Open Borders. Therefore there is some restriction that he does support – though I don’t recall him ever revealing what restrictions he favors.

            Gillespie, who is in favor of Open Borders had repeatedly advocated modifying the laws so that anyone can immigrate. Now, right there we falsify your lie – and it is a lie – that open borders guys are in favor of amnesty but hide the fact they want more people to come in.

            And yes, Obama is one of you. Like gay marriage, the Prog left elite is all about open borders. And like gay marriage, they support it because they see it as a weapon to further prog politics.

            Another lie. The prog elite want amnesty – because they want a large population trapped on welfare voting Prog. The last thing they want is for people moving back and forth freely.

            1. With that being said, on his Reddit AMA, Welch expicitly stated that he stops short of supporting Open Borders. Therefore there is some restriction that he does support – though I don’t recall him ever revealing what restrictions he favors.

              Then there isn’t one. If he can’t or won’t name one, he doesn’t have one. How could it be otherwise? Has he not thought about it? Bullshit. That is a classic dodge. He doesn’t want to come out and admit his position because he knows it would be seen as extreme by most. So he lies and denies it without giving any specifics leaving him free to oppose every single measure proposed.

              ou were claiming that we open borders guys were craftily calling for amnesty without admitting that we want more people to subsequently immigrate. That… is… the horseshit I am calling you on.

              No. That is not what I said at all. I said Reason implies support for amnesty is the same thing as support for more immigration. You didn’t call me on anything. You just ignored my point and pretended it was something else. Reread what I said and try again.

        2. When confronted on your lies, you have made incredibly lame responses such as your laughable claim that Barack “Executive Order Waiving Provisions of the Law” Obama is too stupid to realize that the Border Patrol reports to him.

          He is. I see it every day. DHS is constantly working at cross purposes with itself. The people at USCIS are giving people green cards and refugee status at a record clip. Meanwhile, CPB is policing people up and the S1 is down in Central America handing out millions trying to get them to stop the flow of unaccompanied minors. That is what is happening. We are paying the governments millions and probably billions in the name of stopping the flow while at the same time effectively giving anyone who makes it across the border legal status to stay here forever.

          You only think I am making that up because you don’t understand how insane government actually is.

        3. And there are more foreign born people living in the US today than at any time in history.

          If that is not having an “open border” just what would an actual open border look like? Forcibly deporting the locals? We are experienced the greatest wave of immigration in US history and you think the borders are closed. Has being on the same side of Progs on so many issues caused you to lose the ability to define words in accordance with reality?

        4. I remember the last time this came up, when John claimed that the millions of people deported on Obama’s watch doesn’t count, because that number includes people turned away at the border.

          It doesn’t seem to occur to him that millions of people being turned away at the border trying to get into the country just might slightly undermine the “Obama is pro-open borders” thesis.

          1. It doesn’t seem to occur to him that millions of people being turned away at the border trying to get into the country just might slightly undermine the “Obama is pro-open borders” thesis.

            No it doesn’t seem to occur to you that there are limits to even what Obama can do. He can’t just tell the CBP to stand down. And turning people away at the border does nothing to reduce the number of people already here. So claiming such people as being deported is totally dishonest and par for the course for open borders advocates.

            The problem is not that Libertarians are open borders. It is that they have made common cause with Progressives on the issue so long they have adopted the very same lying and bad faith tactics that Progs use.

            1. “It is that they have made common cause with Progressives on the issue so long they have adopted the very same lying and bad faith tactics that Progs use.”

              PROJECTION INTENSIFIES

    3. You know, Trump is the perfect guy to suggest my plan to offer a path to citizenship through indentured servitude. I bet he’d run with that without even thinking about it.

      1. “And in the agriculture area, I call this my ‘adscriptus glebae’ program!”

        1. That’s more serfdom than temporary servitude, but, hey, nothing can contain the clown when he gets going.

    4. It is remarkable how the Wall Proposal seems to re-emerge right before elections, but whenever you actually talk to people who are already elected and don’t need to worry about rabble-rousing, they’ll calmly explain to people that the idea of a 2000 mile fence/wall is a wonderful combination of stupid and insane

      Nothing says more about the shitty quality of American politics than the popularity of a proposal to spend tens of billions of dollars building a useless monument to our insecurity out in the desert

      It is apparently more politically-safe to suggest a giant, useless piece of fascist architecture…

      …than to actually start to propose any improvements to the way we currently address the 12million+ illegal immigrants already inside the country

      1. Besides, a wall? In the 21st century? No. A satellite network that uses microwaves to heat up the border to 150? F.

        1. NYC tried the Hi-Tech security* approach…

          …and all it means is that you can Spend More for Less Results, because technology is magic-sauce which no one understands the proper cost/benefit of, or the cost for maintenance and trained-operation, and is most often used to justify huge one-off budgets to attempt to protect against highly rare and unstoppable security threats.

          (*note = to date the MTA has blown close to a billion on security cameras, chemical-sniffers in tunnels, and all sorts of other horseshit that at best would provide some handy footage or after-the-fact data after joe fucking jihad blows up a major landmark)

          The immigration-wall boondoggle is more of the same. They’ll throw a hundred billion at it and say they “did something”, instead of trying to actually modify or fix the *current* hundred billion $ DHS/ICE mess of bureaucracy that already has millions of illegals they don’t know what to do with.

          1. They know exactly what to do with them. Send them home. The problem is they are not allowed to do that because people like you and other open borders advocates prevent it.

            It is a great trick. Fill the Immigration judge slots with advocates who will grant asylum to anyone and totally clog the system making it useless and then say “you see deporting people is impossible”. You do understand you are embracing exactly the kind of bad faith tactics that Progs have used for years and you hate in any other context?

          2. Very well, then I suggest hunter-deporter robots.

          3. re: the High Tech approach to border walls…

            Boeing was given $1bn to try that out. Didn’t work any better than already-dumb wall. which already does nothing where its not able to be observed, and where its observed already means you didn’t need the fucking wall to begin with.

      2. Your site supporting the contention that the fence is useless is to Slate. Really?

        1. The fence is useless. it was the most convenient link. did you have some very compelling counter argument?

          1. It is not useless at all. The fence near San Diego worked well. So well in fact, the migrants were forced to start crossing in the desert, which of course caused all kinds of uproar from the “fuck you its still Mexico” crowd.

            Why is it “insane” to build a fence to make it harder to cross and to channel the people who do into certain areas making them easier to stop? That is common sense.

            You only claim otherwise because “we can never control the border and therefore should do nothing” is an article of religious faith on here.

            1. You’re reading a great deal into what he said.

              Fencing off populated areas where border traffic is not only likely but guaranteed? Not a bad idea. Promising an uninterrupted fence thousands of miles long with all the amenities of an American-style DMZ? Patent lunacy or mendacious populism.

              1. Yeah, there’s a massive difference between ‘fencing between urbanized areas’ and ‘stupidly massive border wall’. The cost alone for the latter is staggering, and shockingly Mexicans are intelligent enough to get through a moronic state project with literal thousands of blind spots. There’s already a massive goddamn desert that does more to prevent illegal immigration than a wall would.

              2. “You’re reading a great deal into what he said.”

                He didn’t even read the piece, or note a single common objection to why “a 2000 mile wall – most of it in the middle of nowhere” isn’t actually ‘security’.

                Its insane and stupid to waste close to $100bn building an object that will not stop anyone from crossing somewhere it is unobserved

                and that is money that could be used to do something about the 12million+ already here which wall-boner idiots like john don’t have any idea about other than to allocate another hundred billion funding a federal-frequent-travel program for migrants.

            2. I remember seeing some sort of mythbusters-type program where they hired four “day workers” to build a section of fence to the exact specs as the US border fence – then gave each worker 30 seconds to go through, over, or under the fence. Hilarious.

              1. I remember seeing some sort of mythbusters-type program where they hired four “day workers” to build a section of fence to the exact specs as the US border fence – then gave each worker 30 seconds to go through, over, or under the fence. Hilarious.

                Penn & Teller’s Bullshit!, if I recall correctly.

            3. Why is it “insane” to build a fence to make it harder to cross and to channel the people who do into certain areas making them easier to stop? That is common sense.

              It certainly is ‘common sense’ to spend a massive amount of money on a useless thing that doesn’t work. There’s no way that the ‘massive border wall’ concept is just a pathetic ‘DO SOMETHING’ call by politicians that preys on Americans’ insecurities.

              You only claim otherwise because “we can never control the border and therefore should do nothing” is an article of religious faith on here.

              No, some people just actually understand cost/benefit analysis here, rather than jumping into crazed conspiracy theories about ‘you people’ and our motives, Red Bo.

              1. Yes John. You people see no benefit to even having a border. The problem is you think anyone who does is “insane”. You resort to every dishonest argument used by the Progs and can’t seem to admit that you have lost the argument. All you have is the religious assumption that borders are wrong.

                1. You haven’t provided a single case why its actually cost beneficial or even a policy priority, given that migration has been falling since 2007.

                  please, continue with your self-congratulatory gurgling about how you’re super rational.

                2. What a surprise, John continues to ignore all the actual arguments and continues to just scream about how he knows all our secret motives. This might surprise you John, but you’re utterly ignorant of my opinions on immigration. We’re pointing out the moronic nature of a massive border wall from a cost/benefit analysis, you’re flipping out over things no one is actually saying or actually believes (speaking for myself and Gilmore at least). Usually I only talk to Tony and Bo, but you’re being dumb enough today: LISTEN. TO. WHAT. PEOPLE. ARE. SAYING. NOT THE IMAGINARY OPINIONS YOU MAKE UP.

                  Perhaps you should try actually communicating, rather than constructing pathetic delusions that are easy for you to bellow at? You make a fool of yourself regularly here because you’re incapable of actually listening to people.

    1. Williamson’s butt has been hurting about Trump for weeks now because he’s starting to realize the damage he and his fellow neocons at NR have done to the Republican party the last few years is likely to result in another presidential election loss, no matter who they nominate. But it’s a lot easier to blame Trump than it is to look in the mirror.

      And yes, most Trump supporters aren’t going to give a shit, because their support of him is a big “fuck you” to Williamson and his ilk. Trump could come out in favor of completely dismantling the military at this point and they wouldn’t care, because they’d get to watch Williamson and his fellow nerds have an aneurysm over it.

      1. You are mostly just making it clear that Trump supporters are retarded.

        1. You are mostly just making it clear that Trump supporters are retarded

          There’s a difference between retarded and vindictive. But I’m not surprised you’re having trouble discerning that, trick.

  53. The immigration-wall boondoggle is more of the same. They’ll throw a hundred billion at it and say they “did something”, instead of trying to actually modify or fix the *current* hundred billion $ DHS/ICE mess of bureaucracy that already has millions of illegals they don’t know what to do with.

    Fucking incentives- how do they work?

  54. OT:

    Megan McArdle buys into the “Not giving is taking” proggy mindset:

    The Republican [ObamaCare reform] plan is, in fact, a program for the middle class. As such, it will be much less generous toward the poor. It will redistribute money upward, from those struggling very hard to ordinary Joes who are not rich, but not quite so desperate either.

    http://www.bloombergview.com/a…..-direction

    Note how she claims reducing transfer payments to the poor, and taking less/increasing transfer payments to the middle class, is “redistribution” from the poor to the middle class.

    Under her logic, if we got rid of all welfare payments, that would be a huge subsidy for the middle class.

    1. As it is a reform of PPACA, “redistribution” is fair to use. Right now the poor are getting subsidies. With this reform, that money will be redistributed in ways that benefit the middle class.

  55. “But experts are now debating whether or not people in the Paleolithic Era did actually eat carbs.”

    Perhaps we should look more closely at what constitutes an expert.

    1. But, but…I have a large piece of paper with Latin written all over it!

  56. “This female Viagra is great! What’s in it?”

    “The distilled essence of a $1,000 bill.”

    …is the kind of joke a misogynist would tell.

    1. And that one would laugh at.

      *snicker*

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