Ron Endorses Rand, Bad News for Planned Parenthood, The World's Oldest Cat: P.M. Links

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  • Corduroy
    Guinness Book of World Records

    A softer, gentler Taliban?

  • Ron Paul endorses Rand Paul for president. (It's happening.)
  • That Michigan teacher who slammed Michigan's state government for cutting funding to education? Nothing she said was true.
  • Bad news for Planned Parenhood: a fetal tissue company is cutting ties.
  • Glenn Beck criticizes Hannity, Ann Coulter, et al for their relentless support of Donald Trump. 
  • Meet the world's oldest living cat, Corduroy.

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  1. …a fetal tissue company is cutting ties.

    Phrasing.

    1. Are we not doing phrasing any more?

      1. Language!

    2. Hello.

      I take 8 minutes to click through some of the links and already 38 comments?

      WAIT FOR ME!

      1. Only time itself marches onward more relentlessly than the commentariat.

    3. Phrasing.

      All right, Asshole Alex, “What is, ‘a fetal tissue company is cutting ties’?”

      /sarcasm

  2. That Michigan teacher who slammed Michigan’s state government for cutting funding to education? Nothing she said was true.

    But it felt true, didn’t it?

    1. There’s the truth, and then the truth.
      *nods at Marge

    2. Every word she says is a lie, including “and” and “the”.

      1. Not according to about 1/2 the commenters. IT’S FAUX NEWZ KOCHTOPUS BEATDOWN OF TEACHERS AND FIREMEN AND COPS SO ILITCH AND GLIBERT (Michigan 1%ers) CAN GET CORPORATE WELFARE (which they do – but, whatever)!!!!11one!11

        Why did I read it? AND the comments? Why?

        1. Thank you for your service!

    3. Here in Georgia, the Atlanta paper frequently urges the state lege to spend every extra nickel they get to restore the ‘multi-billion dollar budget cuts’ that the schools have endured over the last few years but they do have the decency to mention down in the article where the cuts came from. Seems the state a few years back put together a blue-ribbon panel of educrats or some such to recommend budget funding levels for the governor and the lege to implement and – surprise, surprise – the educrats recommended that budget levels be increased a shitload. Since Georgia simply didn’t have a shitload of extra money laying around, they’ve only increased spending on education by a modest amount. To the extent that the state didn’t increase spending as much as they said they would, they’ve been ‘cutting the budget’. But at least the Atlanta paper has started telling you what the state is actually spending now, which they didn’t use to do. (Same with the slippery budget numbers themselves – when you see your local schools’ budget numbers, make damn sure it’s the consolidated budget numbers and not the M&O budget numbers, they love to talk about the school budget without mentioning that doesn’t include the capital budget, as if that had nothing to do with how much you’re paying for your shitty local public school system just because the revenues come from a different source – the taxpayer’s right pocket instead of the left.)

      1. “they love to talk about the school budget without mentioning that doesn’t include the capital budget”

        This. So much this. Not to mention leaning on parents and teachers for school suppliers, classroom support, etc. Private tuition is the 100% cost, but my local district, while officially spending roughly what the average private school’s tuition is, spends additional *billions* every year in capital improvements that are simply not reported as part of the cost of public education.

        1. To be fair, most private schools cost a lot more than the tuition. They often require many volunteer hours from each family, and they also expect a large amount in fundraising. We have a bunch of friends that are teachers and on the board at area Christian schools. Their tuitions range from about $8,000 to $11,000. But they expect another 2,500 or so in donations from each family. Plus money for school supplies. And volunteer hours. One Catholic school nearby requires each family to put in 200 hours volunteering. Plus another 12 hours at their fundraising carnival weekend. They have a buyout (or fine) if you don’t want to do the hours. I think it was somewhere close to 20 bucks an hour.

          Kinda like when buying a house you have to factor in any HOA fees – you gotta fold in the cost of volunteering and donations.

          Still, the cost of many of the private schools around here is below the advertised price of public education. Since we just passed a referendum that dropped a couple million on each school for capital improvements, I’d say that the assertion that the capital expenses are not included is probably correct. They actually had to do a bond referendum to get the money to repair and replace the HVAC systems…. that’s just incompetent. Those expenses are absolutely predictable. As was the money that went to replace the condemned playground equipment at our local school.

      2. JK, don’t know if you are still online but do you have some links on how to decode those budges – M&O vs consolidated? Either specific to ATL, or generally.

  3. Ron Paul endorses Rand Paul for president.

    Let the money bombs begin.

    1. I’ll try not to hold it against Rand.

  4. That Michigan teacher who slammed Michigan’s state government for cutting funding to education? Nothing she said was true.

    Her emotions told her it was true. Don’t question her lived experiences.

    1. There’s no such thing as a perfect truth teller.

      1. Nonstopdrivel|8.14.15 @ 4:33PM|#
        “There’s no such thing as a perfect truth teller.”

        But there is such a thing as a flat-out liar.

  5. Glenn Beck criticizes Hannity, Ann Coulter, et al for their relentless support of Donald Trump.

    Did he start weeping while doing so?

    1. Has Beck ever met Hannity or Coulter? Who else are they going to support?

      1. Whatever asshat Team Red annoints. They are the ultimate TEAM players. Half the reason I support Rand Paul is that I relish the thought of watching people like them and the insufferable Michael Medved eat a big shit sandwich and cheer for a guy they spent years tearing down.

        1. Hannity yes, Coulter the exact opposite.

      2. Hannity? I would figure him more for a Jeb man. Establishment all the way for him.

        1. Hannity operates out of New York these days, doesn’t he? While being a RNC man all the way, he probably needs to throw enough of a bone to Trump to get along in NYC after Trump gets dumped from the race. The guy seems pretty remarkably vindictive.

          He has no shot whatsoever, and Hannity has to know that. So maybe he figures there’s nothing to gain by bashing the guy, and nothing to lose by giving him a platform.

    2. They should be criticized with eggs and tomatoes.

  6. Meet the world’s oldest living cat, Corduroy.

    Its advice for a long life? Fuck you, figure it out yourself.

    1. Six mice a day, go easy on the ‘nip, and lick your own asshole regularly.

      1. I have orphans to do that for me

      2. Six mice a day, go easy on the ‘nip, and lick your own asshole regularly.

        I hope I’m still limber enough at that age to lick my own asshole.

    2. The cat has aged better than its owner.

    3. My advice for a long life? Lick my asshole.

  7. True story.

    I went out in the yard and turned on the sprinkler. While I was adjusting it some fire ants got on me. A few minutes later they had crawled up my pants and bit me several places on my leg. I began to puzzle over why the ants, which are just little stimulus-response machines, bit at different times and after crawling different distances up my leg. They don’t think, strategize, etc., so why the differences?

    I thought about that for a while and then went to my wife. “Listen, I think I have worked out a kind-of oversimplified explanation for what exactly learning is. Let me try it out on you.”

    “Sure” she said, “But drive me to the store while you do it.”

    We hop in the car and I start trying to explain the details of the process of learning. The mechanical process. Detailed cracked pot theory on the workings of the brain. What learning and thinking are. She keeps interrupting and talking using terms like thinking, deciding, emoting etc.

    1. We arrived at the store and I have parked at the gas pumps. Our conversation, which by now has become pretty spirited, continues as we exit and both walk to the back of the car to pump gas.

      This is the point where I said “No. Stop taking in metaphors! That explanation doesn’t allow me to build a brain! Tell me, in detail, what I have to do step by step so that I can go in the garage and build a brain that works! I need to make a brain that works!”

      “I don’t know” she said and walked away towards the front of the store.

      I pump gas for a few seconds before I notice I am alone at the pumps except for two black women at the next pump. They were frozen and the look on their face was like deer n the headlights. As soon as I looked at them they yanked the gas nozzle out of their car, nearly dropped it, hung it up and jumped in the car. They actually squealed their tires a tiny bit as they made their getaway.

      “What the hell is wrong with them?” I thought. I stood there pumping gas for a half a minute before it hit me. I am in a Steve Carrell movie.

      1. [slowly inches away from Suthenboy]

      2. And, at no point in this story, did you stop to take care of the ants – who, I must presume, were biting you on the balls all this time.

        Which is why the women ran off. Not because of your non-sequitor conversation. But because of the jumping, ball-grabbing, and the profanity interspersed in it.

      3. Sell this book.

      4. Dude, you’re like the best storyteller here.

        *tips hat*

        “Sure” she said, “But drive me to the store while you do it.”. Classic.

        1. No no no no.

          Warty, by a mile.

          1. Warty doesn’t tell stories. Warty IS the story.

      5. it’s got to be true and i’ll tell you why—it’s that i’ve spent so much thricedamnt time in the studying of tinybrained things like the Deer and the Hummingbird, and they exhibit astonishingly complex learning behaviors. Wi birds in particular it’s astonishing their capacity to learn complex behaviors almost perfectly from only watching other birds doing something, even other birds of different species with clearly different body shapes, and then there’s birds learning how to do something entirely from watching some other animal that’s not even a bird do the thing, and cornverting the scheme to their own physiological constraints without a thought in their heads. I don’t know what it is, but it’s fucked up. And yet Chomsky, somehow, can’t manage to uplift himself to the intellectual level of a varmint living off discarded Cheez-Nips at the city park and whatnot.

    2. My guess is chemical signal dispersion,

      I’m sorry your penis got bitten.

      1. The actual explanation is a different subject. I do appreciate your concern.

        *sucks breath through teeth and scratches crotch*

        1. I didn’t realize the story was continued. My apologies. Honesly, that’s where I thought the story was headed.

    3. You might be interested in this TEDxCaltech talk by Professor David Anderson on the possibility of using Drosophila as a model for studying ADHD.

      1. One of the few things I look forward to on my return to CA as a resident are talks at caltech. Those people are amazing.

        1. I had this idea, concept really, that much of what we call the autism spectrum can be traced to dysfunctions in the brains attention-allocating software. You know, that set of evolved responses that tells us we don’t have to carefully watch everyone in Grand Central Station, but that we need to not assume that the rustle in the savanna grass is just the wind, lest we become lion food. My thought is that the spectrum is the brain either failing to ignore irrelevancies (hyperactivity), or failing to observe beyond the primary attention focus (autism). Am I onto something, or off base?

          1. If you put it in psycho jargon, variations of the idea is pretty commonly advanced. It always strikes me as strange the implication frequently put into it at some point, as in your comment here, that other humans are less of a threat than random things in nature outside of Australia. I spent a fair portion of life both amidst the thronging masses and savagely without people, and on my experience I would say other humans are easily much more of a threat than wild things outside of Australia. For one thing, human threats are much less predictable and it’s not nearly as easy to come up with a simple, operationalised routine for minimising the threat that human expose as it is to do with just about every other animal threat. For what it’s worth, there’s obviously some sort of difference in how autispecters process the relevancy of stimuli, but it’s with psychotics that one sees a clearly broken down, dysfunctional order of attention, in which the amount of attention given to any given stimulus seems to be determined almost completely at random.

  8. Glenn Beck criticizes Hannity, Ann Coulter, et al for their relentless support of Donald Trump.

    No surprise, Beck despises Trump. Even seen articles saying he wouldn’t be mentioned on his radio show.

    1. So does Glenn Beck think criticizing Trump’s supporters is going to attract as much attention as criticizing Trump himself, or is Beck criticizing simply out of some sort of principle or actual belief?

      1. I think its cultural.

        Beck is a mormon and one of their cultural quirks is that they see humbleness as a prime virtue and despise bragging . Trump is the ultimate caricature of self aggrandizement.

    1. Shouldn’t this be the job of the ag schools?

      1. Its like the early days of nuclear weapons – everyone wants to try to claim some territory.

  9. Presented without comment:

    Defeated and without a subject, I turned my focus to those who fucked animals for pleasure, not pay, and dove deep into Beast Forum, the biggest international zoophilia chatroom going. The interface was outdated, like an Angelfire site from the early 2000s, but thousands of people are active daily. When I originally signed up for a profile, I forgot to change my gender to female and was shot down by almost any woman I approached in a chat room. I was honest about why I was there and batted down constantly. “I have no interest in talking to you for your work,” one lady retorted. This was the only place I was going to find an experienced zoo, so I filled out my profile page accurately as though I was on OkCupid and hit the chatrooms the next night. I offered my thoughts in public threads and spent hours integrating myself into the site. Suddenly, a few females were willing to open up with me. I quickly discovered women were mostly about having a relationship to animals rather than having sex with them, as Miletski would attest.

    “The women that were in my [bestiality] study actually cherished the relationship to their animal partner. That was a big part of the whole appeal to these women, and all their partners were male dogs.”

    1. I am not clicking on that. You can’t make me.

      I do hope this music auto starts when the page loads:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EQ3swBEBqBc

    2. I am never going to understand the bestiality thing.

      1. Well, when your societal training is to treat males like dogs…

    3. What the….no, NOT clicking…

      1. LIAR. I know you clicked.

        1. **spoiler** The story is devoid of sufficient photos. Sad, really.

    4. Hold on, I have a question: What does “those who fucked animals for pleasure, not pay” mean? I mean, the first part is referring to insane people that have relations with animals. But what does the second part refer to? Do animals solicit human prostitutes?

      1. He was trying to talk to people who had done bestiality porn and they all ignored him.

        I just realized how hilariously pathetic that sentence is.

        1. That is saying something. He’s their social inferior? Whoa.

        2. And now you know how Bo feels.

    5. +1 jar of peanut butter

      1. Yeah- I knew a girl everyone called “Skippy”. lol

  10. Meet the world’s oldest living cat, Corduroy.

    Time to arrange a hunting trip.

  11. We arrived at the store and I have parked at the gas pumps. Our conversation, which by now has become pretty spirited, continues as we exit and both walk to the back of the car to pump gas.

    This is the point where I said “No. Stop taking in metaphors! That explanation doesn’t allow me to build a brain! Tell me, in detail, what I have to do step by step so that I can go in the garage and build a brain that works! I need to make a brain that works!”

    “I don’t know” she said and walked away towards the front of the store.

    I pump gas for a few seconds before I notice I am alone at the pumps except for two black women at the next pump. They were frozen and the look on their face was like deer n the headlights. As soon as I looked at them they yanked the gas nozzle out of their car, nearly dropped it, hung it up and jumped in the car. They actually squealed their tires a tiny bit as they made their getaway.

    “What the hell is wrong with them?” I thought. I stood there pumping gas for a half a minute before it hit me. I am in a Steve Carrell movie.

    1. Ugh. I forgot to reply to myself.

      1. Copy it in a reply to the first comment. In a few minutes this thing is going to be miles away from it.

    2. “I need to make a brain that works!”

      “Yeah, I can see why.”

      1. I can’t believe it took this long for someone to say that.

  12. (It’s happening.)

    Way to rub in the fact that we can’t post gifs, Robby.

  13. Meet the world’s oldest living cat, Corduroy.

    His owner feeds him three kitty-sized Miller High Lifes a day.

    1. No deal. I need more than that out of life.

    2. It is the champagne of beers.

      1. Also, can that guy be my doctor?

      2. I now want a Saison
        http://www.beeradvocate.com/be…..146/48824/

    3. I’d rsather die young than drink 3 of the “champagne of piss”.

    4. That’s my beer of choice.

      Sometimes I get fancy, but for the most part, I go with the High Life because it is the only way to stay financially solvent when purchasing in such volume.

      1. Cheap vodka (or Everclear) offers more bang for the buck. FYI…

        1. Actually I’ve been laughing because my liquor store has started selling some sort of sissy brand of moonshine.

          The most potent brand is 100 proof. One of my neighbors bought some and brought it over to make fun of me and the time I’ve spent living in Memphis.

          I told him that it was nothing like real shine. That shit in Memphis was way more like Everclear than anything else.

          1. Yes. Real moonshine isn’t diluted with water. Here in California it’s illegal to sell anything over 75.5% alcohol–no idea why.

        2. Also, get a pint of everclear, then, three days later, you can have a pint and a half of pretty decent absint. I by the way found that comfrey works really well at blunting the harshness of raw liquor, without conferring any additional sweetness, and little to no alteration in taste, depending on whether one uses the root or the stalk and how precisely he gets the virtue out of it. Wi the absint, I just crush a couple leafs and toss them in the jar once it’s done, and then withdraw them so soon as the desired level of smoothness arrives, which seems to be something less than twenty-four hours.

  14. Once again we visit my favorite Slavic country (Poland) to explore its part in Accomplished Female Athletes of Eastern and Central Europe. Today’s representative is
    Joanna Jozwik
    A medium-distance runner, her personal best is bronze at European Championship in 2014, and the photo shoot is her proudly posing with the medal.
    Yes, she may not be as hot as some previous entrants (like people’s favorite, ), but she has a “girl-next-door” look I am a sucker for. Also, damn, those legs!

    1. Well, I fucked up the second link, but it goes to right space.

    2. Must resist temptation…. still at the office.

      1. The first link at least is sfw

        1. As is the second, but DEG is a cautious employee!

          1. I push things enough at the office by reading reason.

            I’m at home now. Very nice. Thank you for the links!

            1. After I pressed submit, I realized I should elaborate a bit.

              I work at a small company. My boss cares more about my shit getting done. This is also the first company in New England that I worked at where people talk openly about owning guns. We still don’t have an official HR department. The office manager and the CFO split HR duties. On the other hand, we are growing, and some deadlines are coming up. At some point I expect we’ll get an official HR department and as the deadlines get closer folks will wonder why H&R is up on my computer.

              1. My boss cares more about my shit getting done.
                .
                When I was in school I took a public speaking class that was probably the best learning experience I had since giving a speech requires you to really think about what you’re saying and how you’re saying it. I had to wonder why that class wasn’t a required course just like math and English and American Government 101 because it’s hard to say you’re a well-educated person if you can’t communicate your thoughts clearly and concisely.
                .
                You know what else I think should be a required course? Running a business. Whether it’s a lemonade stand or baby-sitting or a lawn-mowing service – everybody should get some idea of how business works, how money really gets made and spent. I suspect you really didn’t mean that the way it sounded, but you’re damn right your boss cares about you getting your shit done – it’s how he gets his food on his table. If you aren’t providing more value for him than what you’re costing, he has no use for you. It’s the way the world works for everything – you don’t pay more for stuff than what that stuff is worth to you whether that stuff is an employee or a car or a girlfriend or a half-hour spent sitting on the porch drinking a beer and watching the sun set. But figuring out exactly what something costs is the tricky part and running a business gives you some idea of all the costs you’ve never taken into consideration.

                1. I said it because I’ve had bosses that cared more about other things. I dodged the layoff by switching jobs. My ex-bosses didn’t dodge the layoff. Not my problem.

    3. Pfft, her abs are OK, I guess. Nothing special, really.

      *mutters to self, puts chocolate away*

  15. Meet the world’s oldest living cat, Corduroy.

    This is the most Objectively awesome thing I’ve seen today.

  16. Tax revenues at record high, but still only 18% of the economy.

    In the meantime, the share of taxes paid by individuals has increased. In the 1950s, individual income taxes accounted for just over 42%. Today it’s about 47%.

    But the biggest change has been in what is known as “Social Insurance and Retirement Receipts.” Those are the taxes people and companies pay for Social Security and Medicare. Workers can see the money taken out for Social Security and Medicare on their weekly pay slips.

    In the 1950s, those taxes accounted for less than 10% of tax revenues. Today it’s over 30%.

    1. Taxes collected are always within a few percent of 18% GDP, regardless of the tax rate. Yet another great argument for a simpler tax code.

      1. Unless the top rate is way less than 18%.

  17. Glenn Beck criticizes Hannity, Ann Coulter, et al for their relentless support of Donald Trump.

    Beck does get really close sometimes.

  18. From the Beck Mediaite article:

    “I really want to understand,” Beck wrote, before listing off the ways in which Trump makes him recoil:

    [H]e said he identifies his “policies more as a democrat”; he makes President Obama look truly humble; he was very pro abortion until very recently; he still says “don’t defund planned parenthood”; he is pro “assault weapon ban”; he is in favor of a wealth tax that would just “take money out of people’s bank accounts”; he is for boots on the ground in Iraq and ‘taking the oil’ from the Iraqi people; he is a progressive ‘republican’; he says single payer health care works; he said he would give people more than just Obama care; the First Lady would be the first to have posed nude in lesbian porno shots; he said that he keeps all the bibles he is given in a “special place” out side the city ? and he only goes to church on Christmas and Easter; he is generally not a likable guy; he has around 16% favorability with Hispanics and he has gone bankrupt 4 times.

    1. the First Lady would be the first to have posed nude in lesbian porno shots

      He’s saying that like it’s a bad thing.

      1. Correct.

        This country as badly needs to get over the “first First Lady to have posed nude in lesbian porno shoot” hurdle as it did the “first black President”.

      2. It seems a bit of a stretch to call this porn. Or lesbian.

        1. Beck is a Mormon, so I assume he is just repeating what he heard. Other than the porn and church shit he is right.

        2. Beck refuses to see R-rated movies (yes, he actually admitted this), so I’m sure he has a skewed definition of ‘porn.’

      3. She could be FLOTUS: First Lesbian Of The United States.

      4. the First Lady would be the first to have posed nude in lesbian porno shots
        .
        That we know of. There was some talk about Eleanor Roosevelt, but nobody really wanted to look into that. Not even FD wanted to look into that. I’ve heard Franklin leapt out of the wheelchair and ran screaming from the room when the subject was brought up.

        1. I believe that some letters from Eleanor to at least one woman have been found, and IIRC they are very… emotional, though not sexually explicit.

            1. OMG, she’s got to be in the Top Ten of Least Attractive Women of the 20th Century. She was even homely when she was young.

      5. I’m voting for Melania Trump. Fuck the Donald.

  19. “Bad news for Planned Parenhood: a fetal tissue company is cutting ties.”

    What’s next – the Mafia expresses reservations at some of Planned Parenthood’s tactics?

    (note to PP lawyers – this is strictly a joke, I’m not suggesting you’re linked to the mafia. Or I should say, linked to any mafia besides yourselves)

  20. Is the British pub dying?

    About 29 pubs closed every week across Britain in the year ending June 2015, according to the U.K consumer group Campaign for Real Ale. The latest numbers from another industry body, the British Beer and Pub Association, put the closure rate at 13 a week, but those figures don’t factor in the country’s sizeable independent pub sector.

    1. They should all move here. I wouldn’t mind more British pubs.

        1. But actual British pubs with some actual imported British beer. Not “Irish” pub-style “British” pubs.

          1. I’d go for more of both British and Irish pubs.

            Yes, I’m weird.

      1. They should all move here. I wouldn’t mind more British pubs.

        Why do you want more of these here?

        1. I never said I wanted more Brits, just their pubs. Dig em out of the Earth and stick em on cargo ships.

          1. I never said I wanted more Brits

            What about Page 3 girls?

            TIWTANFL.

          2. It’s a package deal, mate. You want the pubs, you have to take the yobbos.

        2. Isabella Sorley, 23, has been jailed for 12 weeks and John Nimmo sentenced to eight weeks after the pair admitted sending abusive tweets to the feminist campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez.

          You can’t fool me, that’s the same person; the dude’s just wearing a wig in the first shot.

      2. ” I wouldn’t mind more British pubs.”

        I hope you realize that there’s almost no real british pubs left in britain, and they’re mostly chains that combine the “authentic soul” of TGI Fridays with the “high quality cuisine” of the English. They’ve been in decline since the 1970s but accelerated in the early 2000s in particular to where many small towns have 1 where there used to be 6… and that 1 is a chain.

        The movie “the world’s end” captured this point nicely.

    2. Time for a Flying Inn.

      http://distributistreview.com/…..hesterton/

    3. Yes, and? These numbers are meaningless without context. What has been the historical weekly rate of pub closures in Great Britain? How many new pubs are opening on a weekly basis?

      1. According to this, it is on the order of 3% fewer pubs, year over year.

        1. Sorry, I see the latest data there is for 2013. Which puts the number they’re claiming in a similar or better range, depending if you take the 29/mo (1508 total) or the 13/mo (676 total) number.

      2. big disruptions like the recession and a ban on smoking in 2007 dealt heavy blows

        Yeah, standing outside in the rain to smoke makes for fun times.

    4. I would like to point out that a Pub as such in the UK is not the same as we here in the US think of as a Bar. A Pub is a special kind of bar…with stupid laws associated just to them. In the UK you can have Taverns, Inns, Hotels, and Bars as well as Pubs.

      Pubs typically suck for selection of both food and beer (Often only ONE OR TWO BEERS! This is like the 5th level of Dante’s hell to a Coloradan).

    1. And while still horrified, I am not surprised.

    2. I may be going out on a limb here, but ISIS are a bunch of jerks.

      1. There’s no sugarcoating it – those ISIS people are not the nicest.

        1. I’m starting to think they’re not really the best folks for the job of running the Middle East.

          1. Whoa, whoa! Judgmental much??!!

        2. They’re not too bad for a JV team though.

    3. I just assumed that the instant I heard about her. I also assume the leader isn’t the only one.

    4. At this point, should we give the Iranians a bomb to use on them?

      /partial sarcasm

  21. That Michigan teacher who slammed Michigan’s state government for cutting funding to education? Nothing she said was true.

    But, he wanted them to get an extra $50 million. They only got $5 million extra.

    THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU AUSTERITY A STRANGER IN THE ASS!

  22. Another Reason Jezebel is the worst: They write an article titled Long Island Doctor Accepted Bieber Tickets in Bribery Scheme and at no point does the word ‘Biebery’ appear in the article.

    1. I think that’s Justin case someone thought about suing.

      1. I don’t belieb you.

        1. I would be Biebery careful about that….

          1. A perfect pun and you screwed it up.

            *facepalm*

            1. HAH! I do it to abuse you, Suthen. THANKS FOR WALKING RIGHT INTO THE TRAP!

              HEY! THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    2. Well, when I think of feminists the term “humorless” does spring to mind.

    1. The on-the-ground video is pretty remarkable. It looks like something from a Hollywood movie. Have they identified what was actually in the warehouse yet? I’m assuming it wasn’t actually 21 tons of TNT.

      1. China experts focus on chemicals in Tianjin explosion

        The warehouse, designed to house dangerous and toxic chemicals, was storing mainly ammonium nitrate, potassium nitrate and calcium carbide at the time of the blasts, according to police.

        Chemical safety experts said calcium carbide reacts with water to create acetylene, a highly explosive gas. An explosion could be caused if fire fighters sprayed the calcium carbide with water, they said.

        David Leggett, a chemical safety expert based in California, told Reuters the acetylene explosion could have detonated the ammonium nitrate. The two blasts were about 30 seconds apart, the second much larger than the first.

        1. That is what I thought. Firefighters called to a fire and spray water on the Calcium Carbide.

          Genius.

          1. Does it say whether the firemen knew about the calcium carbide? Also, suspect that PRC firefighters may not have HAZMAT training to the degree that US ones do.

            1. “We knew there was calcium carbide inside but we didn’t know whether it had already exploded,” he said. “At that point no one knew, it wasn’t that the fire fighters were stupid,” Lei said, adding that it was a large warehouse and they didn’t know the exact location of the calcium carbide.

              1. Calcium carbide should be stored to protect it from adventitious moisture. I am guessing the materials handling was woefully inadequate.

            2. It was a chinese firedrill. What do you think?

              Actually when I first saw the video I could see that the first blast was from gas and the second from solids, but I guessed black powder.

              When I heard firemen had been killed and that there was calcium carbide in there it seemed pretty obvious what had happened. I also bet they didn’t cut the electric before turning on the hoses.

            3. Firefighters are part of the military; I’d be surprised if there’s any.

        2. Yeah, that would do it.

        3. I wonder how this compares to the Texas City blast.

          1. An aerial view from the north of part of the Monsanto refinery and processing compound with flames visible in several areas and huge clouds of very dark smoke covering most of the photograph.

            Well, look at that.

          2. Apporpos… from the Texas City link:

            The blast registered on a seismograph as far away as Denver, Colorado. Dockworker Pete Suderman remembers flying thirty feet as the blast carried him and several of the dock’s three-inch wooden planks across the pier.

    2. A very close-up view. Content warning: the guy is probably dead.

  23. Meet the world’s oldest living cat, Corduroy.

    26 years, damn. When I was a kid I had an outdoor cat that made it to 20.

    1. My female practically~feral feline that has lived on my front porch since kittendom and hates every single person in the entire world except me is going on 18. The bitch has learned nothing in her longevity except how to swat my fucking ankles harder when I don’t 2 step dinner to her in time. Fucking whore. I still pat her little head and say sweet things to her tho. I suck at being a feline misogynist.

      1. 18 years old is doing good for an outdoor cat. Is she still mousing?

        1. Yes, babe. She is a bitch at murder.

          1. Awesome!

            Mine had stopped mousing. He was partially blind and deaf. He just hung out on the porch, maybe walked around a bit, ate, slept.

      2. We had two that made it to 18. Seems to be some sort of cut-off number for cats.

    2. Maine Coons tend to live longer than other cats, probably because they grow slower – they don’t reach maturity until they’re almost 3, whereas most cats are full-grown at 1. They also tend to be huge.

      1. Size matters. Counter-intuitively it’s the obnoxious rat-dogs that live forever and the big dogs who live shorter lifespans.

      2. Holy shit, my dyslexia made me read that as Marine Coons and I was gonna go off on your racism, but then I took a deep breath and re-read it.

        Glad to know the dark green Marines were not being disrespected by you X.

    3. Likewise, my brother had a cat that lived to close to 20, never spent a day inside until she was 15. She killed a lot of birds and small mammals and was indifferent to people even in her decline. It was interesting to see how this cat dealt with her downside.

      She killed a lot of birds in her old age, just not as many as she did in her prime.Sort of a primal thing.

  24. Gawker: Sesame Street going to HBO is proof of VULGAR CLASS WARFARE:

    The original purpose of Sesame Street was to provide uplifting educational programming to the widest possible audience of young children. Yesterday, the Sesame Workshop, the nonprofit that produces the program, announced that for the next five years, new episodes will not run on the nonprofit, over-the-air Public Broadcasting Service, but will be distributed through HBO, a premium cable channel owned by the for-profit Time Warner media megacorporation.

    In the press release, Sesame Workshop CEO Jeffrey Dunn described the arrangement as “a true winning public-private partnership model.” What does this winning model entail? It entails removing public goods and services from the commons, to repackage them as luxury products for affluent consumers.

    1. Now Sesame Street will be restricted to a network that reaches less than one-third of American households. According to the announcement, with the money it gets from HBO, Sesame Street “will be able to produce almost twice as much new content as previous seasons.” And poor kids won’t be able to see any of it.

      Tom Scocca expertly ignores the fact that Sesame Street will still air on PBS and that poor people have the internet.

      1. I am sure he left that little detail out because he simply doesn’t know about it. That has to be it, right?

      2. “removing public goods and services from the commons”

        Because, you know, Sesame Street grows naturally in the wild, but is now being roped off by those evil privatizers . . .

      3. Yes, but they won’t have it at the same time. They’ll have to wait. This is horribly unfair.

        It reminds me of prime Facebook derp I saw (and this is while Canadian election is underway, the harvest is rich beyond measure). Our local transit idiots are going to make buses cheaper than they were (i.e. you pay one fare no matter how far you ride), while they are keeping fare zones for trains. This resulted in one of my FB friends ranting how this is horrible because it discriminates against the poor. Yup, making it easier to ride the bus = discriminating because it’s now easier to bus than train.

      4. Well, you can’t spell “Scocca” without “coc”…

      5. “Sesame Street will still air on PBS and that poor people have the internet.”

        He also forgets to mention that PBS will be getting Sesame Street for free which frees up money at PBS for other things.

        Admittedly I would prefer PBS to have no money and did nothing…but still these facts do not support Gawker’s lies.

      6. But he did make sure to mention that today’s Sesame Street is brought to you by the letters ‘F’ and ‘U’, right? Nothing says ‘F U’ more than taking money from people by providing a product they willingly pay money for rather than working for free like all those volunteer workers at PBS and the Department of Education and every other not-for-profit organization. (Is Gawker a non-profit? I mean, by choice? I don’t think they are – so why is this guy crassly selling his services for money when he could be standing on a street corner giving his expert opinion away for free? Or does he do just that in his spare time?)

    2. I was pretty surprised to hear about it. Going to a premium cable network does seem to go against the whole idea of Sesame Street.

      1. H – B – O
        Tellin’ the clouds to go
        On my way to where the cash is sweet

        Can you tell me how to get
        How to get to Sesame Street

        Come and pay
        Everything’s A-OK
        Premium channel there
        That’s where we meet

        Can you tell me how to get
        How to get to Sesame Street
        How to get to Sesame street…
        How to get to Sesame Street
        How to get to Sesame Street…

      2. Today’s kids like more sex and violence in their education. That’s why schools now prostitute out their attractive teachers. Also, Sesame StreetGame of Thrones crossover!

      3. They had to go with the money from HBO because the merchandise licensing fees aren’t what they used to be. (‘Tickle Me Elmo, The Teenage Years’ didn’t pan out quite the way they thought.) Using your media reach to sell products to little kids just like Tony the Tiger and Ronald McDonald do doesn’t really sound like anything Sesame Street wants to be upfront about either, does it? But it’s always been this way, Sesame Street is like the Mother Teresa of the airwaves, a saintly public persona but you look a little deeper and find out there’s some pretty squirmy shit under there.

        1. Did you read “The Missionary Position” too?

    3. When you’ve lost the Gawker commenters…

      1. That is the point.

        Gawker specificity intends to piss off its audience to get more clicks.

        https://youtu.be/u2ih2OuqKXQ

        Start at about 19:40 for how their click bait is insentivized systemically.

        1. I just hope they don’t learn that trick here. Now, I’m off to read an article by Shikha, or maybe an abortion or Trump post.

    4. Maybe now that Sesame Street is on HBO this and this will be OK.

  25. Spot the Not: hoppy beers

    1. Modus Hoperandi

    2. Hop Rod Rye

    3. Hop Czar

    4. Hoptimus Prime

    5. Hoptimum Imperial

    6. Hoptimist IPA

    1. Hoppy beers aren’t my forte. I’ve seen 4. I’ll say #1.

      1. I ran google searches. I will keep silent.

    2. I’ll go with 5

    3. Drinking Golden Monkey at the moment and dragging L.

      1. Robert the Bruce is my fav from Three Floyds.

      2. Golden Monkey is good.

        1. Golden monkey is fine, but you know what’s better?

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2D-7o2IBCI

      3. Oranjeboom 16%. A six pack in a can.

    4. The Not is 6. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your soul.

      1. Hmm… Hoptimist is an IPA though.

  26. Its always yummy when reality comes around to beat the shit out of someone who’s been living in a fantasy for decades.

    . . . she barely scrapes by on a $63,000-plus salary.

    Maybe she should look at her finances then. I know she *works* for the government – that doesn’t mean she gets to *live* like the government and force a pay raise everytime she overspends.

    In any case – $63,000 is a decent salary pretty much anywhere in the US.

    Keiles made a salary of $63,171 in 2013-14

    I had to help kill people to make close to that – and even then it took 15+ years of work.

    In her nine years, Keiles’ pay would have increased by an estimated $24,500.

    With no increase in duties or responsibilities mind you. That’s roughly 5%+ a year. I remember people bitching when the military was planning a *1.5%* raise.

    1. In grad school my wife and I both lived perfectly well on a combined income of less than $63,000.

      1. My first job out of college was for $31K (1995) and I thought that was more money than I’d ever need again.

        No more working several jobs and going to school. I was in hog heaven.

        The best thing was that my job paid overtime so I was really pulling in close to $50K.

    2. I was in the fed govt (so sue me) and had to listen to lots of whining and complaining by: secretaries making $30K a year who were unemployable in the private sector; 5′ 7″ guys bitching because rental compact cars weren’t big enough for them; people who were upset because the 4 weeks of sick leave pr year was “use or lose” (tho’ it counted as time when it came to retirement).

    3. When we were living on ~63K/ year we lived like fucking royalty. Granted, the cost of living here is lower than most places, but Jeebus, you have to be pretty awful with money to suffer on 63K.

      I wonder if she likes the ponies.

      1. I think she likes the ponies – up the ass.

        Or so I’ve heard.

  27. Was listening to Jebus radio earlier. Some old coot was ranting about the “huh muh seck shurls” who now have clubs in high schools.

  28. Is there any interest more venal, hysterical, and bullying than the teachers lobby? Fuck teachers.

    1. Police unions?

      Hitler?

      1. Too many politicians are beholden to Big Hitler.

    2. The Clintons?

    3. One of my best friends is a teacher. He pretty much hates the one’s with the god complex, mostly because he knows it’s such an easy job and it’s only 9 months a year give or take.

    4. What gets me is that teachers will always demand more money because it isn’t just a job, it is a calling.

      Then they all work their asses off to get out of the classroom and into some sort of administrative role. Mostly because they can’t stand the little shits.

    5. I like how the Minnesota teacher’s union tries to sound like something other than a union: Education Minnesota. You’re a union. You’re for the teachers, not the students. Own it.

  29. Ron Paul endorses Rand Paul for president

    I did NOT see that one coming.

    1. I think we need to investigate their mysterious connection more closely. This may be bigger than the fact that the Democratic “frontrunner” is an admitted felon.

  30. Man, this Roosh V. Toronto thing is such a shitshow. Idiot feminists tried to ban him from the country, so Roosh’s followers started doxxing people, digging up naked pictures of them, and sending death threats. Of course, Vice conveniently fails to mention that Roosh himself was assaulted in Toronto by feminist activists or that feminists have been trying to have him arrested for ‘hate speech,’ but this is one of those times when two groups of idiots really seem to deserve each other.

    1. Wow. He is a rape advocate.

      See, I stopped reading at the headline. I already know they are lying their asses off.

      1. This is how rape culture persists. Report immediately for Mandatory Re-education Holiday.

        1. Conveniently located in Warty’s basement.

    2. It turns out that we don’t need more laws, policies, and university propaganda that treat every man like a criminal and every woman like a mild retardate?we need more common sense that can only come from making rape legal.

      1. Roosh was clearly joking in that article, he’s just terribly unfunny and very stupid so people who didn’t notice he was trying for ‘satire’ thought he was seriously proposing that.

        If you read the article where he said ‘make rape legal on private property,’ it’s very obvious it was not a serious proposal.

        He’s still a scumbag, just not a scumbag who actually supports legal rape on private property.

        1. He should have proposed a return of prohibition, but for women only.

        2. He may have intended the article as satire, sure, but coming from a guy who once said this:

          “While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.”

          and this
          “She was now drunk out of her mind and holding onto the wall for support. I was inebriated myself, but nowhere near the way she was.

          Her friends had ditched her and left her all by her lonesome. She desperately looked for them, fiddling with her phone, but they were all gone. I couldn’t believe my luck.

          “I guess I’ll walk you home,” I said. She didn’t say anything. Once she started walking I followed her.

          Five minutes into the walk she fell into the snow, hiking up her skirt so that I could see her stockings almost all the way up to her pussy. Helping her get back on her feet confirmed that her body was the real deal, like a little ballerina with a big ass (my ideal type).

          “Look at you, falling all over the place,” I said. “You’re a mess.”

          “Fuck you!” she said. “You don’t have to walk me home!” …

        3. … “It would be cruel to leave you because another man might try to do something to you. I don’t want you to get raped. You sure you want to test that out right now? You can’t even walk straight.”

          “Whatever, you’re such an asshole!”

          She kept telling me to leave and I kept saying it was my duty as a man to make sure she got home safe. I said, “I have a sister who’s a couple years older than you. I’d want a guy to walk her home as well.” That was the first time I had leveraged a family member in the hope of building enough trust to get laid. I couldn’t decide if it was tight game or pure evil.

          Then she grabbed my hand. For balance?

          She was so drunk that I was holding her arm so she wouldn’t fall over.

          When we got to her place, I asked, “Can I use your bathroom?”

          “Yeah, whatever.” Her speech was like an American girl. It turned out that she actually lived on the East Coast for a few months.

          Then I kissed her. She tasted like beer and cigarettes, but now with my hands exploring her body I got more aroused in five seconds than I had with the Russian girl all night.

          I went so fast in her bedroom. Clothes ripped off. Jam the dick inside. Barely any kissing. she was too drunk to produce much in the way of lubrication, so after five minutes we stopped having sex, if that’s what you want to call it. She fell asleep and started snoring. Then I got dressed and left while she slept.”

        4. It’s understandable if people don’t really take it as such. A Modest Proposal would have been a lot more sinister if Jonathan Swift had admitted to actually eating Irish children.

          1. I guess you want us to clutch our pearls here but I have to tell you this sort of drunk fucking is quite common among the humans so unless you plan to arrest upwards of 50% of the population maybe you need to recalibrate your offendometer.

    3. That Roosh V world is a world I know little about, and I would like to know even less about.

    4. Of course, Vice conveniently fails to mention that Roosh himself was assaulted in Toronto by feminist activists…

      Second-to-last paragraph (buried pretty deep, yes):

      During his visit to Montreal last week, Roosh was discovered in a bar and had a beer thrown at him. A group of people then pursued Roosh as he fled down the street, before he escaped into a building.

      1. That guy being chased by SJW types over the cobbled streets of Old Montreal (I can pretend that is where the chase occurred) is a fun image.

        1. It’s in the Plateau Mont Royal.

          1. I have never been sober in Montreal so I wouldn’t remember details about specific neighborhoods.

            1. Hipsters. Lots of hipsters.

    5. He was assaulted in Montreal. He hasn’t gone to Toronto yet.

    6. I still don’t understand. The PUA and the hardcore feminista ought to be natural friends, allies and hookup partners in the dating ecosystem. The PUA isn’t looking for a wife. Likewise, the Feminista doesn’t “need a man to define herself”. Both would like to get laid now and then. It should be symbiotic not antagonistic.

      1. “”The PUA and the hardcore feminista””

        I feel the same way as i do about PLO members and Orthodox Jewish Squatters. They deserve one another.

  31. Off to the farm for the weekend. Ten degrees cooler, fishing, beer…

    See ya.

    1. Damn you.

      I am stuck at home this weekend. I guess it is time to start drinking.

  32. Learning language with Derpy

    The sounds in language are vowels, semi vowels, and consonants. When you say a vowel sound, your mouth is open and air is expelled. When you say a semi vowel like y or w, your mouth is open but no air is expelled. When you say a consonant, your mouth is closed and no air flows. There are also click consonants, but they are rare.

    Consonants can be aspirated or unaspirated. For example, the p in pin is aspirated. If you put your hand in front of your mouth when you say pin, you will feel a little puff of air right after the p. The p in spin is unaspirated. It’s almost like a b. When you say spin, you will not feel a puff of air on your hand.

    A vowel has three parts: how wide open your mouth is, how high your tongue is, and whether your lips are rounded. Your mouth is wide open when you say ah but almost closed when you say ee.
    Some languages have rounded equivalents of English unrounded vowels and vice versa. For example, the German u with two dots on top is like saying ee but with rounded lips. Vowels can also be nasalized like in French. To correctly say the French word mon, you say the English word moan, but without letting any air go out your nose.

    1. cool story, bruh

      1. It’s my hobby. I find that the best way to see if I understand something is to see if I can explain it clearly.

        I’m sure HM will have a critique of my mini lesson.

        1. heh!

          You are right about that being a great way to learn – I do the same thing. Sometimes…:)

          1. “What I hear I forget, what I see I remember, what I do I understand.”

            -attributed to Confucius

            1. “Shop smart – shop S Mart” – attributed to Bruce FUCKING Campbell

              1. Listen up, you primitive screwheads! This is my boomstick!

        2. Your post has given me overwhelming urge to watch “My Fair Lady” (my family does NOT thank you).

          A good vacation or travel read for those interested in linguistics – Deaf Sentence by David Lodge.

          http://www.goodreads.com/book/…..f-sentence

          1. Now I’m gonna wanna dance all night, and still have begged for more…

          2. I once taught English pronunciation and reading to a woman who emigrated to the US from Cambodia because of the Khmer Rouge. One day for fun, I showed her the clip of “the rain in Spain…” She thought it was hilarious. Another exercise I gave her was to repeat the phrase “once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered weak and weary” until she got it right. She had trouble with r, l, and w when they came in a bunch. She also tended to drop the last consonant of most words. Her first language is a kind of Chinese. The name sounded like “chow joe”. I think the official name is Teochew.

        3. How many freaking linguists do we have here?!

          1. The same response as to how many Canadians do we have here, which is too many.

            1. My education was in completely different fields. Learning languages has just been an ongoing feature of my existence.

          2. More than you think, though my MA is TESL.

            1. My BA was linguistics/German – more to finally graduate than anything else.

    2. When you say a consonant, your mouth is closed and no air flows.

      Only true of plosives (stops) like English p, b, t, d, k, g. Fricatives, e.g., involve pushing air out of a restricted opening (f, v, s, z).

      1. So farting is a “fricative”? Good to know.

        1. The notorious “Bilabial Fricative”.

          1. That’s a queef – and it’s more of an affricate.

      2. Good point, your worstness. I oversimplified.

      3. I also left out the difference between voiced and unvoiced. Basically, it’s the difference between s and z. When you say z, you buzz your vocal cords.

        1. It was always fascinating to me the people in French and German class who couldn’t get the accent or understand the glottals. Plus, I sure did learn a lot about English learning those two languages!

          1. Some people just can’t understand that other languages have different sounds than English.

            It’s very important to look at the speaker’s mouth when they talk so you can try to copy their movements.

          2. What I remember from high school German class is that many kids are too chicken to imitate the proper sounds because they think it’s “gay”.

            Living in the target country for awhile cures you of that real quick.

      4. I’m pretty sure air flow also stops with bilabial (two lipped) consonants like m and dentals like n.

      5. When I speak K or hard Cs, my mouth is open and air is exhaled. Perhaps I do not understand the concept.

        1. They’re aspirated- it’s a little puff of air instead of a continuous flow.

          1. Yup, and many languages do not aspirate their stops in any position.

    3. the German u with two dots on top is like saying ee but with rounded lips

      Huh, that is how I say it. I remember a description of how to pronounce “?” in one of my German textbooks which I remember reading but didn’t make any impression on me. What made an impression was listening to and imitating my teacher. She wasn’t a native speaker but learned from her Bavarian parents.

      To correctly say the French word mon, you say the English word moan, but without letting any air go out your nose.

      Maybe that’s why native French speakers switch to English as soon as I say anything in French. I don’t have my nasalization correct.

    4. I have informally instructed up a number of Japanese to pronounce the English language “r” properly by telling them it is actually a vowel. Which it is as we pronounce it.

  33. Good job Robbo. (he needs positive affirmation or his hair starts falling out)

  34. News Flash: Carly Fiona wants all US children to die!

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_…..asles.html

    This is one of the most reaching, idiotic articles I’ve read in awhile. Whoever wrote this and the headline should be fired.

    1. ” Fiorina remains hopeful that the state will eventually revoke children’s right not to get measles.”

      puppies and rainbows hardest hit

    2. Good thing they’re exposing the right-wing anti-vax movement.

      1. You jest, but I’ve seen a serious effort to foist the anti-vax hysteria (which is rampant in California’s wealthy, Leftist enclaves) onto Conservatives who believe parents should have the final say in vaccinating their kids. As much as I support vaccinations I also believe people should have the option to opt out–for any reason. And schools and businesses should have the right to discriminate against those who don’t.

        1. I also believe people should have the option to opt out–for any reason. And schools and businesses should have the right to discriminate against those who don’t.

          Ah, but the Progs are so bound up against free association, that they could not admit the ‘right to discriminate’ in this case because it could then be used for all sorts of reasons. There is method to their madness.

          1. There is method madness to their madness method.

    3. Fiorina disclosed that her own daughter had been “bullied” by a school nurse to protect her preteen daughter from cervical cancer by administering the HPV vaccine.

      That is not a well-written sentence, is it?

      1. Well, if Fiorina’s daughter was forced to administer the vaccine to the school nurse’s preteen daughter it’s perfectly clear.

      2. Why did Fiorina allow her daughter to get the HPV vaccine? Does she want her daughter to become a total slut since now she can have sex without fear of developing cancer someday? She’s going to lose the SoCon vote with that libertine attitude!

    4. It is fun to watch the fuckers flail about and reach for straws. They know the Iron law ‘You today, me tomorrow’ is about to stomp their asses. Their desperation is delicious.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48H34ukFe8g

  35. People – it’s NASCAR Weekend #2 at the Michigan International Speedway AND the World Pipe Band Championship (Glasgow) this weekend.

    how you gonna choose between the two?

    No need! Thanks, timezones!

    Enjoy the Socttish festivities, courtesy of the BBC…..http://www.bbc.co.uk/events/e36c8g

    I think NBC Sports has the NASCAR.

    1. Pretty much everyone’s coverage but FOX of NASCAR sucks.

    2. I think NBC Sports has the NASCAR.

      AND ANOTHER FUCKING WEEK BEFORE F1 IS BACK.

      1. God, I hate F1 any more. Watched in the 70’s (well, mostly READ) – got bored in the 80’s – came back – got bored – cam…I’m done with it.

        1. The 70s seem like a cool period for sports. Like the people involved were all a lot cooler.

          1. The 70s seem like a cool period for sports. Like the people involved were all a lot cooler.

            You could say that.

              1. Bah, the 90’s were the golden era, mostly because of Curry!

                http://rubberburner.dodonetwork.net/

                https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=misZJRVxzUE

              2. But before you could say it, it would take your breath away

        2. Wait, you watch redneck racing and you call F1 boring? Oval racing is watching paint drying races.

          I got into F1 very late, so I’m still enjoying it, even though I know the sport was much better only 10 years ago.

          1. NASCAR’s problem is so many tracks, the newer ones, are exactly the same and are good for going fast but shitty for “racing” and boring.

    3. It’s easy to choose to ignore both. :-p

      1. wuss!

  36. Reading comprehension is not strong among people freaking out about Sesame Street moving to HBO.

    Sesame Street
    We’re pleased to announce a partnership with @HBO! Our season will debut there and continue to be available to @PBS! http://www.sesameworkshop.org/…..artnership ?

    Which garners this response:

    Shelly @ShellySometimes
    @sesamestreet @HBO @PBS Saddening. Children in poor families, those that CAN’T afford HBO, need the extra educational boost the most. šŸ™
    12:53 PM – 13 Aug 2015

    Look, I know you just said it will still be available on PBS, but I’m just going to ignore that and stick to my preconceived narrative.

    1. Retards gonna retard, yo

    2. Look, I know you just said it will still be available on PBS, but I’m just going to ignore that and stick to my preconceived narrative.

      It’s just like H&R!

      1. We are all the worst!

      2. Admit it Nikki. You *wanted* Bert and Ernie to get married just so they could sue Cookie Monster for his refusal to provide cookies at their wedding.

        1. Ernie is way too good for Bert.

      3. YOU JUST WANNA PUNISH CHRISTIANS YOU FUCKING CUNT FAGGOT

      4. Why don’t you just stick to butt stuff, Nicole, since that’s all you’re good at.

    3. Why are you assuming ShellySometimes even read the entire tweet?

      1. How could she? It’s , like 100 characters long!

  37. That Michigan teacher who slammed Michigan’s state government for cutting funding to education? Nothing she said was true.

    I had not heard anything about this. But she was complaining about making $63,000 a year for 9 months of work? In Michigan? I imagine someone making that kind of salary can live quite well in Michigan.

  38. Keiles claims “my take-home pay has been frozen or decreased for the past five years.”

    Her economic illiteracy is stunning. The fact that her take home pay has not increased has nothing to do with how much it costs to employ her worthless ass. I wonder if the cost of her fringe benefits, say her healthcare plan, have been skyrocketing and eating up her compensation increases? Nope, can’t be. Obama parted the Red Sea and brought tuition, healthcare and limp dry hair under control at long last.

  39. Hillary Clinton: Spent $100,000 on Tampons

    Wait…sorry… might have read that wrong….

    1. I hope she spent seven hours on the LIE getting out there.

      1. I’m pretty sure she either has a helicopter or a hovercraft or something

    2. Actually I do know someone who spent 25K on tampons and condoms. The home office in Houston, when they saw that on the expense account, immediately sent an investigator. They were certain that the guys down there were opening a cat house.

      During the construction of a mine site in British Guyana the survey and geology crews had to traipse all over the jungle, wading through creek after creek and swamp after swamp.

      They have this little fish down there…..

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru

      1. Don’t forget the slut from Georgetown who needed subsidies to handle her incredible amounts of sex.

      2. They put the tampons in their ass?

        It says the fish tries to swim up Urethra. troubled waters indeed.

        1. Almost everything in that article is incorrect. The toothpick fish doesn’t just live in the amazon basin. There are varieties in the Orinoco, the guyanan lowlands and central america.There are many such attacks every year. And yes, it will swim up any hole it can get access to, even open wounds. It will swim up your ass, it will swim into your ear. It gets its head in fast puts out barbs and then wriggles the rest of it’s body in. Without specialized knowledge they are nearly impossible to remove. They told me that the Indians had a method of removing them using a hollow reed, but I never saw that done.

          It is a living, swimming nightmare.

          1. yeah, i’d heard of them.

            And i assumed* it was more “generic-hole”-friendly than particular about getting all up Urethra.

            (there’s a pun there, somewhere)

              1. Trigger warning: the entire thing

  40. “A softer, gentler Taliban?
    Ron Paul endorses Rand Paul for president. (It’s happening.)
    That Michigan teacher who slammed Michigan’s state government for cutting funding to education? Nothing she said was true.
    Bad news for Planned Parenhood: a fetal tissue company is cutting ties.
    Glenn Beck criticizes Hannity, Ann Coulter, et al for their relentless support of Donald Trump.
    Meet the world’s oldest living cat, Corduroy.”

    As Rob desperately tires to wean himself from cutting and pasting articles from the daily Jounolist 3.0 talking points compiled from Buzzfeed, Vox and gawker it is discovered that his work no longer has the snap and wit it used to have.

    1. God fucking DAMNIT why did I click on that? WHY?

    1. I don’t see them calling for new regulations. And they wrote this

      Barriers to competition like the perimeter rule generally hurt consumers.

      I actually don’t believe that was published in the NYT.

      1. I am assuming that before they ever simply get to “remove regulations” they will want to replace them with something “better” but equally onerous on someone else.

        Also, while the sentiment is nice and all… the Port Authority has control over that stuff. And the Port Authority answers to no one.

        Unless the NYT is saying that they should be stripped of their powers… its all so much political pleading to a brick wall. There’s no power in the tri-state area that is less interested in the public’s opinion.

  41. List of 199 crazy things Donald Trump has said.

    I have black guys counting my money. ? I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes all day.

    I know the Chinese. I’ve made a lot of money with the Chinese. I understand the Chinese mind.

    Jeb Bush has to like the Mexican Illegals because of his wife

    Oftentimes when I was sleeping with one of the top women in the world I would say to myself, thinking about me as a boy from Queens, ‘Can you believe what I am getting?

    All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me? consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.

    If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?

    There are two publics as far as I’m concerned. The real public and then there’s the New York society horseshit. The real public has always liked Donald Trump. The real public feels that Donald Trump is going through Trump-bashing. When I go out now, forget about it. I’m mobbed. It’s bedlam.

    There is something crazy, hot, a phenomenon out there about me, but I’m not sure I can define it and I’m not sure I want to. How do you think ‘The Apprentice’ would have done if I wasn’t a part of it? There are a lot of imitators now and we’ll see how they’ll do, but I think they’ll crash and burn.

    1. There is something crazy, hot, a phenomenon out there about me, but I’m not sure I can define it and I’m not sure I want to.

      The Kavorka

    2. What the Establishment has to ask is: Why is a guy like this resonating with so many voters?

      Lots of these quotes are pure Trumpisms – and some of them are perfectly legitimate:

      “Our great African American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore!”

      Ha ha, Trump thinks thugs are destroying Baltimore, and he’s mocking Obama’s role as a Racial Healer, what a rube!

      Both the sensible quotes and the outrageous quotes will appeal to a *lot* of voters because Trump is saying FU to the Establishment and its ridiculous pieties. Also, plenty of voters are like, “yeah, if I was rich like him, I’d say that kind of stuff – too bad I have to bite my tongue for fear of getting fired, but at least I can enjoy hearing *him* say it!”

      1. Trump represents a very American type – not the John Winthrop or Jonathan Edwards* type, but the Vanderbilt/ Carnegie/ Hearst type – bigger than life, richer than their envious critics, blurting out whatever they happen to be thinking rather than translating it into PC mumbling.

        It’s not that I fully *endorse* this American type, just that I’m saying that, as an American, I really have no choice but to be impressed by them. Without these people, America would be less American.

        *the preacher, not the psychic

      2. Hey, despite his awful policies, he sold me with this one:

        “If Hillary Clinton can’t satisfy her husband what makes her think she can satisfy America?”

        That is some first class trolling right there.

        *My father used to have a bumper sticker that said “Hillary smoked the cigar” back when Bubba was still in office.

        He went to visit my brother who was, at the time, living in Hope, Arkansas. An 75ish year old man tried to whip his ass in the grocery store parking lot. He chased my father in circles around and around his car until he got too tired to run anymore.

  42. Consolidated drinking thread. I’m drinking Newcastle Brown for the first beer of the night. I see Agile Cyborg is drinking Golden Monkey, lap83 wants Sofie Saison, and Lee G will drink when he gets to the farm.

    What are you drinking?

    1. Good choices. Love the Golden Monkey. I actually don’t think I’ve had a Victory beer that I haven’t liked.

      1. Strangely enough, I haven’t had many Victory beers. When I’m back in PA, I mainly go for Yards, Sly Fox, Weyerbacher (I can only get part of the Weyerbacher line in MA), and Lancaster.

        I chuckled when I found out Victory is based in Downington. We used to call it “Dying-town”.

        1. Oh, and Yuengling, but now I can Yuengling in MA so I doubt I’ll buy it as often as I used to while travelling to PA.

          1. I should have started Round Two earlier. “Now I can get Yuenging..”

          2. Yeah, we started getting it here a few years back. It was all the rage at first, that’s died down a bit. Still see quite a few people order it. Love their Black and Tan. Can take or leave the rest.

            1. Their Porter and their Black and Tan are my favorites.

              1. I’m not sure knew they had a Porter. Will have to check that out. I love Porters.

          3. Yuengling is the Penn State standard, but only in kegs.

            1. Odd. I had it in bottles while I was there as well as on draught from various bars.

          4. I married a woman from PA and heard many acolades about the great Yuengling beer.

            Nah.

            For the beer, not the woman.

    2. Big Juggs is about to crack open a Lagunitas Pils while listening to some BRMC to get a start on his evening.

    3. As soon as I get home, half a bottle of Knob Creek bourbon.

    4. I had an Olde Frothingslosh and a Pumpkinhead Ale earlier. Might get something else later.

      1. Olde Frothingslosh! I haven’t seen that in ages.

        1. Oh by gosh, it’s Frothingslosh!

    5. Newcastle is my go to beer when I have wings. They go together great.

    6. Supposed to hit Hofbrauhaus tomorrow for the first time. I believe I’ve only ever had their Hefe Weizen so looking forward to some new beers. The food menu looks good as well.

      http://hofbrauhauscolumbus.com/menu/

      1. I’ve only been in one Hofbr?uhaus, the one in Newport, KY. I walked past the one in Munich. I didn’t go in the one in Munich because I was pushing my budget pretty hard and I figured I would be back in Munich one day for Oktoberfest.

        The food is good. Strangely enough, I don’t remember the beer.

        1. Cool. Yeah, I love wurst and schnitzel and all that good German food. This opened pretty recently. Been wanting to go. Looking forward to our Brew Dog that’s coming as well.

          http://beerpulse.com/2015/06/b…..2016-3938/

          1. I haven’t had BrewDog.

            1. I don’t think I have either but heard good things. Have had lots of different Flying Dog and Thirsty Dog beers:) Both great brewers.

              1. Flying Dog is good.

                1. Thirst Dog is Akron, OH. Great beer.

                  1. There aren’t a lot of Midwestern beers here in New England. I’ll look for it on my next trip to PA. I’m more likely to find it down there.

      2. Oddly enough, I’ve been to the one in Newport twice. Never been to the one in Columbus, despite living there (well, Dublin). Though we have Schmidt’s, so eh.

    7. I finished the last two New Glarus Spotted Cows in the fridge and now it is Highlife time!

        1. That’s a dude who’s had too many dui’s

            1. That was beautiful. Now I need a greasy burger with mayo and a beer,

            2. That burger looks tasty.

          1. The funny thing is (I’ve told this story before) that I live in a suburban nest of cul de sacs and other twisty roads that go nowhere, BUT there is a bike path that goes pretty much directly from my house to the liquor store. You can literally bike there faster than you can drive.

            The first few summers I went to the liquor store on my bike I kept getting the stink eye from all the other suburbanites and I couldn’t figure out why. Here I was being all environmentally conscious and all.

            My neighbor finally clued me in. He said they all thought I was just a drunk who hadn’t hit rock bottom yet. They all thought I had lost my license to a DUI and still wanted to drink.

            Given my flair for low fashion and wild hair, I guess they couldn’t be blamed for such assumptions.

            1. “a drunk who hadn’t hit rock bottom yet.”

              There’s a rock?

              oh dear. no one told me about a rock.

              1. If you stay drunk you won’t notice it.

                1. Just pour scotch on it and the rock’s pretty nice.

            2. I once had a girlfriend who lived on a farm about 5 miles outside a little town called Giddings, Texas. Her father was a sterotypical old German who loved his beer. After the local LEs took away his drivers license (without any legal action or DWIs, the community just knew him ) he started riding his farm tractor to the beer joint. That lasted about a year and the LEs convinced the daughter to take the tractor away from him as well. As time went on the little town grew up and no longer had local born and raised LEs in charge and one fine day the 78 year old man who fought in WWII against his grandfathers native homeland was arrested and jailed for a DWI on his riding lawnmower just for driving it into town alongside the ditch to get a 12 pack to go.

              No shit.

      1. I also have to admit that Spotted Cow is OK, but isn’t great. Really the only reason I drink it is to establish my street cred here in Maple Grove as an OG. I don’t want Tundra to move in on my action because he thinks I’m weak.

        http://minnesota.cbslocal.com/…..y-charges/

        1. Way too many cops. Way too many. Fire half see how that goes and if they keep this kinda bullshit up, keeping cutting their numbers in half until it stops. Fuckheads.

          1. The bar was turned in by a competitor who was (probably) following the law and losing business to the one who wasn’t.

      1. Round three. Dirty Little Freak. Dessert in a glass.

    8. Just a Little Sumpin’

      1. Next up, Southern Tier “Fresh”

        (this has become my go-to brew)

        1. whoops, it’s Live

          (cut me off)

    9. A buddy brought me a small skull of Ka’h and I am tempted to do a taste – literally just a taste mind you. But since I am in the hospital hooked up to an IV of antibiotics I expect I will resist until they send me home next week.

  43. I have a friend who works in the public sector and is one of the union contract negotiators in Illinois that was btiching about Citizen’s United and how it corrupts politics. I asked that if following that logic, since your union (the AFSCME) gave money to Blago, Madigan, and Cullerton (the three main culprits who fucked Illinois over really bad) the issue with your pensions, the state being a hotbed of corruption, and businesses moving away in droves is partly you guy’s fault.

    He didn’t really have an answer but I think one day, I’m gonna lose my shit and call him a fucking moron.

    1. Relax. It’s ok. Most people are fucking morons. It’s a short trip from letting it get to you to a secluded cabin in Idaho living as a hermit. NTTAWWT.

      1. I think what gets me the most is the dude used to call himself a Libertarian but then when he got the public sector job, he went full retard.

        1. Yeah, that’s pretty fucked.

          1. As much as I know this will probably somehow fuck me over, I can’t wait till the public seector pension implosion happens. The politicians are going to have to hike up taxes and cut services in order to please their union masters and it’s gonna turn the average person against the public sector unions. The unions are so fucking short sighted that they blind their eyes to the fact that it’s the taxpayers who pay their salaries.

        2. Yeah, I’ve known people who’ve claimed to be libertarian although they fully support the drug war, foreign wars, militarized police state, high taxes, and just about anything else anti-liberty that you can name.

          At some brief and fleeting moment in time, being called libertarian was cool. Must have been that libertarian moment that I missed.

          1. Yeah I had a conversation with a Glenn Beck “libertarian” couple years back. That was quite interesting. He kept saying he was a libertarian but had no fucking clue what that actually meant. Thank God I was drinking.

        3. I have noticed that most people who call themselves libertarians are everything but. There is a whole lot of ‘freedom for me but not for thee’ out there, or as my wife puts it ‘It’s ok when I do it’.

    2. Citizens United freed up unions to spend as much as they want to influence politicians.

      it was a godsend for them.

      however, it also freed up lots of other people to point out how shitty unions are.

      Speech. How does it work?

      1. Exactly. People who are opposed to the Citizens United decision are basically saying that people are too fucking dumb to make their own decisions so we need the government to regulate speech and those who can donate to political candidates.

        1. “People too dumb to make their own decisions” is the basis, alongside a lust for power, of many or all Progressive positions.

          I managed to get a Progressive to admit once that his positions were based on his belief that “everyone else is stupid, but I’m smart and they should just do what I say”.

          1. If you argue down a Progressive, you can get them to admit that people are incapable of making their own decisions.

            1. Another thing you can sometimes get out of them is something along the lines of “I’m an asshole, therefore everyone is an asshole.”

        2. This is because they aren’t quite self aware. They join the tribe that they think can win and thereby ensure their own survival. For them, they are mostly ruled by their primitive lizard brain. They don’t like thinking too much about stuff, it hurts their head, they don’t see any point because they aren’t curious, they are ruled by primitive survival instincts and raw emotions.

          Then there are the ones like the progs who seem to be completely ruled by emotion also, but they’ve sort of lost the survival instinct part of the primitive brain, and like the first group their higher logical thinking brain is not fully developed. So they are a raging bag of emotions but they’ve lost the survival part, which is why they seem to hate their own self, their own race, their own culture and feel tremendous guilt for some imagined transgressions and have fatalistic fantasies about white people or the entire human race being wiped out.

          Then there are we libertarians who have a full developed modern brain. This is a painful state in this world and results in the constant feeling of being punched in the nuts when reading stories at Reason.com.

          1. It’s downrignt depressing because there are so many out there, especially in Illinois, who do not care whether they fuck the state over or it’s taxpayers because damn it, I want my pension check.

            1. Cheer up Sir, it isn’t as bad here as it is almost everywhere else.

              The Greek parliament just voted themselves another bailout.

              Isis just codified slavery into law.

              Venezuela has run out of drinking water.

              In England you can be arrested for the expression on your face.

              The Donald is on the teevee right now spraying more bullshit than a French farmer.

              Oh. Never mind. Go back to your despair.

              1. Thanks. I’ll definitely have a Round Three after Round Two is done.

  44. I viewed a person in a pizza costume doing pushups on a busy street corner today and my face vectors curved and collided with an appreciation modus. Peace out push up pizza dude, I loved you for 12 seconds this day.

  45. Friday night diversion – protester at pig wrestling gets tossed out of the muck

    1. the anti-pig people should be tossed gently because eating pig atoms should be treated with respect and I hate meat eating humans that treat their mouth beef like it was never alive. Eat bacon with love and respeq to pig. Pig give us mouth gold- too many Americans treat their meats like offhand gestures like a living creature wasn’t killed for them to get off palatially.

      BigT eat your beef with respeq bro. and I say this in love.

    2. This is one rare case where most Reason commenters will be on the side of the pigs.

        1. yes. love.

  46. I feel my fowel man. I feel my ribs. I feel my beef. I feel my fish. I feel the planet giving its treasure unto me and I kneel in appreciation to the lost lives that feed me. Hunters that are spiritual and pause and wax heart and poetry I respect deeply. Farms that foster peace for our meats until they are killed with scientific precision I respect.

    We need to learn to love the meats that nourish us and respect the racks and meats culled from the living on the metal bars in the shows. I am growing weary of the tubes giving my face meats with shows that don’t show respect for the fallen animal. In many camps particularly down south killing is a sport and lives are brutally taken and partied over. Well, hunting is necessary and hunters are critical to sustaining and managing food cultures but deer want to live and turkeys want to live and lions want to live and every single fucking thing your bullet hits or your arrow hits wants to survive.

    so respeq. hunter. respeq. killing might get your dick off but blood spilled in the deep woods should require a special arrangement between hunted and killer. Kneel. thanksgiving. respeq. offer humility to that which gave its life.

  47. I feel my fowel man. I feel my ribs. I feel my beef. I feel my fish. I feel the planet giving its treasure unto me and I kneel in appreciation to the lost lives that feed me. Hunters that are spiritual and pause and wax heart and poetry I respect deeply. Farms that foster peace for our meats until they are killed with scientific precision I respect.

    We need to learn to love the meats that nourish us and respect the racks and meats culled from the living on the metal bars in the shows. I am growing weary of the tubes giving my face meats with shows that don’t show respect for the fallen animal. In many camps particularly down south killing is a sport and lives are brutally taken and partied over. Well, hunting is necessary and hunters are critical to sustaining and managing food cultures but deer want to live and turkeys want to live and lions want to live and every single fucking thing your bullet hits or your arrow hits wants to survive.

    so respeq. hunter. respeq. killing might get your dick off but blood spilled in the deep woods should require a special arrangement between hunted and killer. Kneel. thanksgiving. respeq. offer humility to that which gave its life.

    1. William Faulkner on acid.

  48. Hardly “bad news” for PP. PP was not profiting from their relationship with StemExpress, and there are lots of other companies and universities to donate fetal organs to.

  49. Considering most TV commentators deal in 30 second sound bites and by their questions aren’t to bright I can see why Trump is their guy. Although I would never vote for Trump I too am sick of politics and politicians. Trump has no ideas on how to run a nation but is nice to hear someone that is not PC and admits to buying politicians. The only way to save this country is for every eligible voter to vote for anyone besides a Republican or Democrat. Maybe then our political class would start representing the people instead of the greenback

  50. I’m not going to lie: I glanced at this too quickly as I scrolled down the page, somehow misread/parsed the running-together-lines as “World’s Oldest Cat Endorses Rand” and momentarily expected to find a really interesting fluff piece…

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