Clinton Campaign Promises to Cooperate With Federal Security Inquiry, Ben Carson Says Donald Trump is Good for the GOP, The Universe is Dying: P.M. Links

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  • NASA

    The campaign of Hillary Clinton says it promises to cooperate with the federal government's "security inquiry" and will turn over an email server and a thumb drive. 

  • The Supreme Court declined to step in to delay the execution of a man in Texas who had decided to drop his appeals. 
  • The father of Christian Taylor says he "feels sorry" for the officer who killed his son, who was fired last night, calling himself and the officer both "losers" in the situation. 
  • Ben Carson says Donald Trump is good for the Republican Party because he's engaging new voters.3 
  • The president of Chad says the Islamist militant group Boko Haram has a new commander who is willing to negotiate with the Nigerian government. 
  • Twitter says it's dropping its character limits for direct messages. 
  • The universe is dying. 

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  1. The universe is dying.

    LET IT DIE.

    1. Hello.

      [dons Fist’s sunglasses]

      Let’s get this party started.

      1. Party like it’s 199,999,999,999 !!

        1. The universe is dying.

          Pray for Creation:

          http://www.theguardian.com/env…..nvironment

    2. Women, Minorities Hardest Hit

      1. Geno Smith a close second.

    3. I’m guessing it read Twitter and decided to kill itself. Mercy killing.

    4. BARMAN: “You really think the world’s going to end?”

      FORD nodes

      BARMAN: “Shouldn’t we lie down or put a bag over our heads or something?”

      FORD: “If you want.”

      BARMAN: “Will it help?”

      FORD: “Not really.”

      BARMAN: “Last orders, then?”

      1. nods, not nodes.

        1. How many ROADZ must a man walk down?

          1. Depends.

            Are we talking about just private roads or are we including those putrid public ROADZ?

    5. Hello.

      “An international team of about 100 scientists has charted the universe’s gradual decline into darkness in the most comprehensive assessment of its energy output, the GAMA survey.”

      Consensus?

      1. The science really is settled.

        You like Labatt or Molson? I’m a Blue guy, m’self. What can I get you?

        1. Neither.

          1. *crosses Rufus off Real Canadians of Distinction list*

            1. Nooooooo!!!!

            2. Old Vienna for the win.

              1. “Old Heave”

                *barf*

                Next you’re going to tell me you like Upper Canada or Sleeman’s.

        2. Are there or aren’t there Artesians?
          Do you think one will ever be found?
          Oh, pour me another cold Oly my friend,
          The question is worth one more round!

          1. Shaefer – the one beer for when you want more than one

            Best motto EVAR!

            1. Pedant alert:

              “when you’re having more than one”

              1. Yeah, I was drunk the last time I heard that line – which was about 30 years ago.

      2. Oh noes! Human caused Universal darkening!!!

      3. So the astrophysics professor is lecturing about the life cycle of the sun:
        Professor: “In about 5 billion years, the sun will expand to a red giant and swallow the Earth.”
        A scared student in the back of the class raises her hand:” I’m sorry professor, could you repeat that?”
        Professor: “The Earth will be swallowed by the sun in about 5 billion years.”
        Student: “Phew! Thank God, I thought you said 5 Million years!”

      4. I’m already prepared. I read this in Omni magazine about 35 years ago. Along with news about the new Ice age we were facing.

        1. I’m not even a nerd and I thought that was a great magazine.

        2. Omni was cool.

    6. LET IT DIE.

      Only Fist could go to China.

      1. I never trusted the universe, and I never will.

        1. Surprised it took so long for someone to get the Star Trek 6 reference.

          1. This place has really gone to Rura Penthe.

    7. “And yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
      But all that lives is born to die
      And so I say to you that nothing really matters
      And all you do is stand and cry”

      1. Entropy is a bitch.

        1. A cold one.

        2. A Black Dog, perhaps

        3. like a fool in the rain

    8. Why is this news? First of all, I’m dubious anything definitively has been discovered. And there are several theories that suggest an end of sorts. Heat death of the universe through progressive entropy, or a “Big Crunch,” where everything collapses into a singularity, are two of the more popular theories. And there are other ideas that could also mean more localized ends or transitions.

      1. So, ProL is in the first stage.

        1. It’s not denial about the end, it’s just dubiousity about the end being news. Physics has a lot of nerve predicting anything like that with even the remotest hint of authority, seeing how they can’t even explain all of the missing shit. We can’t account for the vast majority of matter and energy in the universe, but, by golly, we can make authoritative statements.

          If the universe is cooling, does that mean it’s due to universal climate change?

          Also, will this announcement be followed by a Nobel Prize for discovering entropy?

          1. Moving straight to bargaining? You can’t skip stages!

          2. Scientists are angry about “climate change denial,” so they’re upping their game. Notice how closely this came on the heels of us getting our first probes outside of the Solar System boundaries? Human littering will be soon blamed…

      2. Yeah, there’s that big crunch theory. So according to that, the Universe will stop expanding at some point and then contract again, until BANG the 2nd.

        1. I’ve long assumed this, and believe Universes existed and died many times before our own Big Bang. It seems unlikely this situation ‘just happened’ (IMHO), so you have to wonder what would be the point of an intelligence setting up this eternally expanding and contracting universe. Maybe we really are just part of an experiment or computer simulation.

          1. See my post downthread. I’m probably thinking along the same lines as you are. And yes, we could actually be living in a simulation. Some of the weirder characteristics of the quantum world might point to that. Or reality could be something completely different. We aren’t even close to figuring everything out yet.

          2. “Computer, end program.

            See? Nothing happen…”

            1. Oh my god! We’re just bytes on Hillary’s server?!?!?!?

              /bogarts joint

              1. The Universe wasn’t supposed to die! Huma’s just furtively deleting everything to avoid the FBI!

        2. Expansion is hyperbolic and there isn’t enough mass to change that. Based on everything we know we’re headed to the big freeze. Something would have to radically change for a big crunch. Big rip remains a possibility

          1. Yeah, but long before that we’re going to collide with Andromeda, and that would be pretty awesome, if you have a safe seat for viewing.

            1. Most seats are safe. Galactic collisions are more creative than destructive.

              Regardless, based on everything we know now there can be no big crunch.

    9. So, professor: would you say it’s time for everyone to panic?

      1. Good news everyone!

    10. You’re dying and it’s killing me.

    11. “The universe will convert less and less mass into energy until eventually it becomes a cold and dark desolate place where all of the lights go out,” Davies said.

      So, kinda like Detroit.

    12. “The universe is dying.”

      Bullshit!

    13. The universe is dying.

      Good riddance.

  2. Cheese it, motherfuckers!

    The dispute centres around the specific wording in the advert, said spokesman Igino Morini: “In the advert they’ve used the term Parmigiano-Reggiano, not the term parmesan which can be used generically in the US.”

    1. Pornhub?

      Are they sure it’s not fromunda cheese?

      1. If it’s the female variety, it’s known as Vulveeta.

        1. +1 manmade cheesy substance

      2. Are they sure it’s not fromunda cheese?

        I’m afraid we’re fresh out.

        1. +2 Greek dancing

          /or, whateverthehellthatwas

    2. The Parmigiano-Reggiano Cheese Consortium

      Great band name.

    3. So you’re into in the “incest” videos, huh?

      1. “Into” or “in”?

        Make up your mind, shitlord.

        1. I guess I’m interested in both questions.

    4. What purpose is there for a “premium” membership to PornHub? All of those “porn tube” sites already give you a mind-boggling array of porn – sometimes full-length movies – for free.

      1. Are you asking “for a friend”?

        /asking for a friend

        1. Is your friend in your trousers?

          /asking for an acquaintance

          1. Well, the question is coming FROM INSIDE THE TROUSERS!!!

            So, yeah.

      2. What purpose is there for a “premium” membership to PornHub?

        When you have a premium membership you garner access to an algorithm that caters specifically to your desires and fantasies. That is how I learned how much I like French, cigarette-smoking, women in high heels who taunt me.

  3. …calling himself and the officer both “losers” in the situation.

    But one lost more than the other.

    1. The officer, since the father lost what was not his property.

      The kid lost the most, but no one cares about him.

  4. For those familiar with twitter. Can direct messages still be viewed by outsiders?

    1. i didn’t think anyone but the two parties could see them….but I’ve only ever sent about 5. Dunno.

    2. Can direct messages still be viewed by outsiders?

      “Hahaha, of course!” – NSA

      1. +1 FYTW

  5. The campaign of Hillary Clinton says it promises to cooperate with the federal government’s “security inquiry” and will turn over an email server and a thumb drive.

    Also on that thumb drive? Stuxnet.

    1. I’m picturing photos of kittehs and puppehs. Thousands, and thousands, and thousands of pics of cute SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! kittehs and puppehs.

      Cause that’s our Hillary.

      1. Thousands of yoga workouts.

        1. That might be grounds for an indictment right there.

          1. But who wears yoga pants better than Hillary? Lululemon was created with her in mind.

        2. *barf*

  6. The universe is dying.

    Fucking climate change, is there anything it can’t do?

    1. Technically, the universe is experiencing a heat death. It’s going to eventually get too cold to support life. Obviously, we need to burn more fossil fuels!

      1. Fool! That just speeds up entropy! We need to shiver in the dark so we don’t end up shivering in the dark!

  7. Twitter says it’s dropping its character limits for direct messages.

    Twitter will no longer be the soul of wit.

    1. I bet Shakespeare would be really embarrassed about that quote now.

    2. All this time I thought I was the soul of wit.

      😉

      1. The phrase you were looking for was “lord of shit”.

      2. Your hearing must be bad. He said:

        YOU ARE A SACK OF SHIT!

        1. No, HOLE OF SHIT.

  8. Gawker Economics:

    So Where Are All the Republicans Who Want to Become Farmworkers?

    Over the past decade, illegal immigration from Mexico has fallen significantly, due to both demographic changes in Mexico and our nation’s own crackdown on immigration. Wages for farmworkers have risen to more than $11 per hour, yet big farmers still cannot find enough workers to pick their crops, which causes billions of dollars worth of losses each year to fruit and vegetable growers.

    There you have it. Simple supply and demand. We cracked down on immigration, there are not enough farmworkers, wages are too low to attract enough American farmworkers to fill the gap, and therefore the crops are not getting picked, costing our economy billions.

    1. Ha:

      FromWhenceItCame Hamilton Nolan
      8/12/15 11:33am
      If the failure to pay a wage that will attract workers is costing an industry billions, isn’t it incumbent upon that industry to pay a better wage, thereby cutting their losses? This doesn’t sounds like a “government” issue, it sounds like a common sense business issue.

      caekislove-thereunion FromWhenceItCame
      8/12/15 11:35am
      Spoiler alert: Markets ain’t efficient.

      1. So much derp in so few words.

      2. Jesus Christ these people are ignorant beyond belief.

      3. Nothing cuts losses like paying more money for labor!

        1. Well, yes, actually, if you don’t have enough labor to run your business.

      4. “Spoiler alert: Markets ain’t efficient.”

        Irrelevant, even if true. Markets are more efficient than government solutions. See: everything ever.

        1. These gawker idiots just can’t seem to grasp that a market free from regulation operating in equilibrium by definition is completely efficient. Granted, the agricultural industry isn’t the pinnacle of free market economics but these idiots seem to be talking about markets in general.

    2. First, where are they advertising. Second, how much money do people make living off welfare.

    3. Wages for farmworkers have risen to more than $11 per hour, yet big farmers still cannot find enough workers to pick their crops,

      So tell me why again we need to raise the minimum wage?

      1. With a higher minimum wage, white people will take the job. Then we won’t need those filthy immigrants.

    4. We cracked down on immigration,

      We did?

      I’m buying the demographic explanation. Birth rates in Mexico and points south have fallen, so fewer farm workers seems like a consequence, but did we really “crack down” on agriculture workers?

      1. Yes.

        http://mic.com/articles/8272/a…..m-business

        It is a myth and a lie that illegal immigrants are walking around with nothing to worry about.

        1. As somebody who actually lives within a thousand miles of the border, you couldn’t be more wrong. The primary way the illegal is getting busted is if they do something illegal (besides be here without documentation). Most other illegals are left alone and leave everybody else alone.

          1. Cool story bro.

        2. No. You do know that Alabama is only one state of 50, right?

          I’m willing to accept that we’ve cracked down on illegal farmworkers if presented with decent evidence. Your link was inadequate.

          1. You do know that Alabama is only one state of 50, right?

            Maybe not, he is Canadian after all.

          2. It wouldn’t be the first time for Cytotoxic.

          3. America deports tens of thousands of illegals every year. That enough of a crackdown for ya?

            1. Which would be in tenths of 1%. Not much of a crackdown.

      2. The Obama Administration was on course to deport twice as many illegals as Bush until the recent slow down.

        1. I know. The GOP idiots are now pretending his “slowdown” is proof of Obama’s great fondness for the great hordes of illegal mexicans

          Most of the public debate about immigration is basically insane fantasy, with people speaking in magical terms that either resonate or not. Trumps evocation of “a Wall” is a great example.

        2. That’s a myth.

          1. Mmm?

            Deportations through 2012

            New Republic dislikes this data because it seems to make it look Obama immigrant-unfriendly, and argues that deportations aren’t like the most important detail, its “Returns”, which is when the border patrol catches someone and sends them back to mexico. These do not need to be processed by ICE.

            The data shows that there are fewer “returns” while deportation is up.

            This doesn’t seem to me to have anything to do with policy, but rather a precipitous decline in the number of border-hoppers between the Bush years and the Obama years.

    5. Over the past decade, illegal immigration from Mexico has fallen significantly, due to both demographic changes in Mexico and our nation’s own crackdown on immigration. Wages for farmworkers have risen to more than $11 per hour, yet big farmers still cannot find enough workers to pick their crops, which causes billions of dollars worth of losses each year to fruit and vegetable growers.

      There you have it. Simple supply and demand. We cracked down on immigration, there are not enough farmworkers, wages are too low to attract enough American farmworkers to fill the gap, and therefore the crops are not getting picked, costing our economy billions.

      Laughing my ass off. So less immigration has resulted in wages increasing, which is exactly what progressives claim to want, and their solution is to have more immigration and drive those wages back down.

      Personally, I don’t care what happens to farm wages based on immigration, but progressives are the ones always arguing for higher wages while they simultaneously increase labor supply which drives wages down. Herp derp, you don’t know the consequences of your own policies.

      1. I also love: Simple supply and demand.

        But then they refuse to acknowledge raising the price of labor does what to demand?

      2. It’s B.S. anyway. Field workers on vegetable farms get paid by the number of vegetables they put on the truck, not by the number of hours they work.

  9. Ben Carson says Donald Trump is good for the Republican Party because he’s engaging new voters.

    The one thing the election process needed was more uninformed voters.

    1. Can you ever have enough?

    1. Fireworks! Yaay! Thanks, China!

    2. Wow. That’s not just a “somebody left the gas on” explosion. It looks like munitions or rocket fuel went off.

    3. Godzilla?

    4. Jeesus H a lot of people died right there.

      1. BBC says 7.

        1. so far

    5. They must’ve elected Rand Paul!

    1. OK, so I’m a movie illiterate: what movie is this?

  10. Twitter says it’s dropping its character limits for direct messages.

    Oh, and an explosion in a Chinese port city. But let’s talk about character limits on the Twitterz!

    1. It was probably just a fire drill.

      1. My inner college student calls this racist. But my inner student from the school of hard knocks laughed out loud.

  11. AEI Scholar Notes = Libertarians Live in an Ignorant Foreign Policy No-Man’s Land

    He notes that there is a tug-of-war* between Realists and Wilsonian-internationalist types to try and compel them to their relative points of view.

    (*pun intended)

    He deplores the fact that Realism might be winning, simply because it often advocates ‘doing nothing’ is better most of the time‘…. despite it not being a philosophical rule so much a just generally sound advice.

    “Realists and libertarians seem to be allies because they agree on the practical advice on how US foreign policy should be conducted. Realists and libertarians concur that foreign policy should be limited to the pursuit of national interest*. Any political and security ties with other nations, for example, should be established only when doing so enhances the position and security of the United States**.

    But it is precisely the advocacy of an unfettered pursuit of national interest that is the least compatible with libertarian political philosophy***. It is at odds, for example, with the cosmopolitanism professed by classical liberals since the times of Adam Smith or John Stuart Mill. When discussing policy issues from immigration to agricultural subsidies to tariffs, most libertarians would insist that the welfare of foreigners should matter as much as the welfare of Americans”

    *Not really

    1. The Wilsonians and non-interventionists are both wholly detached from reality and live purely to indulge asinine moral stances. They deserve each other. The AEI is horrid.

    2. When discussing policy issues from immigration to agricultural subsidies to tariffs, most libertarians would insist that the welfare of foreigners should matter as much as the welfare of Americans

      What the fuck is that guy talking about? Does he really think we oppose agricultural subsidies, does he think it’s because we want to make some Chinese farmers rich? Does he really think libertarians oppose tariffs because of some sense of fairness to the Japanese auto importers? Scholar my ass.

      1. He’s right about immigration, though. Cytotoxic will tell you that if 50 million Latin American peasants want to move to the US, that’s their right, and nobody has the right to object.

        1. Damn straight.

          1. Assuming they aren’t dangerously infectious or criminal or spies.

            1. Assuming they aren’t dangerously infectious or criminal or spies.

              With principals like those I just can’t imagine why anyone argues with you.

              1. Me neither. I assume it is because they are stupid.

            2. And pass the bikini inspection.

    3. That’s a nice try, but pretty fallacious all over. Some libertarians use an argument that sounds like the realists. OK? He doesn’t seem to tackle the basic libertarian argument that such intervention is plagued with uncertainty and ignorance by planners, making non-intervention appear to be the default moral choice.

      And then, of course, the moral problems of taxing and redirecting production towards a war effort. The public good arguments that are used for wars of self-defense are even weaker when used for helping the interests of some nation on the other side of the planet. I am indeed against tariffs because they actively harm the interests of foreigners as well as natives; that does not mean I think the govt should actively go out to try and “help” foreigners. Duh.

      1. he’s actually correct about 1/3 – 1/2 of his criticisms
        (which actually isn’t bad for most people who talk about libertarians)

        He’s 100% wrong about his recommendations.

        1. I give him a “nice try” because he doesn’t appear too ignorant about libertarianism. But his criticisms seem to be focused on realists, not libertarians, so it’s hard for me to gauge how right he is. He’s of course right about some libertarians’ reaction to Ukraine, but picking on Raimondo and Ron Paul is shooting fish in a barrel.

          1. “his criticisms seem to be focused on realists”

            This is true. He conflates the shared warboner-absence between libertarians and realists as them being ‘ultimately the same’. Hence my footnote in his above quote where i point out that he doesn’t understand the whole problem about the “pursuit of interest” issue. Or his shallow understanding of realism as “unfettered” pursuit. the entire point of realism is measuring the relative cost-benefit of actions.

    4. It is time for libertarians to recognize that the world the US faces today is different from the one in which Thomas Jefferson called for peace, commerce, and no entangling alliances.

      Really? Just 20 years prior to the American Revolution, George Washington and company cut their teeth as officers in a world-spanning war that saw action in theaters in Europe, North America, South America, Africa, and India.

      Likewise, Jefferson’s administration was tasked with conducting the First Barbary War against 4 Islamic sultanates that revolved around an unprovoked attack by the Barbary states whose motivations were described by their ambassador, Sidi Haji Abdrahaman, as:

      It was written in [our] Koran, that all nations which had not acknowledged the Prophet were sinners, whom it was the right and duty of the faithful to plunder and enslave; and that every mussulman who was slain in this warfare was sure to go to paradise. [Sidi] said, also, that the man who was the first to board a vessel had one slave over and above his share, and that when they sprang to the deck of an enemy’s ship, every sailor held a dagger in each hand and a third in his mouth; which usually struck such terror into the foe that they cried out for quarter at once

      Ever hear of plus ?a change, plus c’est la m?me chose, Mr. Rohac?

      1. Well now we have nukes and the world is small. Interestingly, the point you make HM does not work in the favor of non-interventionists.

        1. Because nukes have been so well managed by governments. And of course the liberal interventionist view is strictly applied only to interventions meant to thwart a nuclear war. Good assumptions you make. Never change.

          1. Because nukes have been so well managed by governments.

            Well….they have. The only time they were used in war was when they absolutely should have been used.

            And of course the liberal interventionist view is strictly applied only to interventions meant to thwart a nuclear war.

            Never said that.

            1. Do you know how many nuclear warheads are unaccounted for? The US government lost half a dozen warheads that we know about and the Russians have ‘misplaced’ at least dozens after the dissolution of the USSR. And these are just the ones we know about. That’s not a good track record for securing nuclear weapons. Good enough for government work right?

        2. Define what you mean by “non-interventionism” please.

          1. In broad terms, the notion that America should only wait until attacked to act.

            1. This is overly generous to the non-ints however because even when Iran attacks America they still want to do nothing out of a superstitious belief in blowback.

            2. the notion that America should only wait until attacked to act.

              That’s a very odd definition of non-interventionism. I’ve always understood the term to mean a policy that avoids entering treaties that would obligate one nation to come to the defense of an ally if attacked. The Seven Year’s War is a prime example of a cautionary tale concerning the dangers of entangling alliances.

              1. “. I’ve always understood the term to mean a policy that avoids entering treaties “

                Not to get between you and cytotoxic*…

                but this is not how people tend to *use* the term ‘non-interventionism’.

                Its sort of like how feminists will point to the dictionary definition saying they’re all about “Equality!!”…. but their actual M.O. doesn’t seem to focus much on mere rational-parity at all in practice.

                Sheldon – the person who seems to write exclusively about “libertarian foreign policy” here – seems to have a definition of non-interventionism that can be extremely expansive or narrow, depending on whatever the topic is.

                Francisco recently articulated it thusly

                ” the US should not impose its will around the world through force and threats of force and all agreements between nations should be mutually voluntary without coercion? And you believe that military force should only be used in self defence?”

                (*… I find myself tending to disagree with whatever Cyto ever says about foreign policy, even though he seems to agree with things *I* say, sometimes… so, don’t take this as trying to take his side on anything)

                my point re: Frankie’s definition above was that all international relations involve coercion (by virtue of power imbalances) by definition. even (especially!) the absence of relations.

                1. but this is not how people tend to *use* the term ‘non-interventionism’.

                  Am I my brother’s keeper?

                  Sheldon – the person who seems to write exclusively about “libertarian foreign policy” here

                  Yes, Reason seems to declared Harsyani persona non grata circa 2013-ish. Nevertheless, considering Richman’s hypocrisy concerning, well, everything, I don’t think he should be the poster child for anything.

                  all international relations involve coercion (by virtue of power imbalances) by definition. even (especially!) the absence of relations.

                  I don’t see that as anything negative. That, with some tweaking, could also describe individuals interacting in the marketplace.

                  1. “That, with some tweaking, could also describe individuals interacting in the marketplace.”

                    yes. power is power.

                    The difference in foreign relations is that there is no independent arbitrating or limiting body, as there is with government vis a vis markets, or trade associations, etc.

                    Diplomatic coercion can’t necessarily be regulated the way markets can….(though they try, which is why some people love the UN and things like it)

                    …also foreign relations aren’t quite like marketplaces, where problems with one vendor means you can switch to a competitor without suffering enormous penalty.

                    The possibility of choice/variety creates marketplace behavior that have their own internal, limiting rules of ‘good business’ which are completely unlike foreign relations.

                    e.g. Doing trade with the US means you *can’t* trade with Iran, and similar types of arrangements where neutrality is made impossible

                    that aside – if non intervention is simply limited to treaty arrangements, how does that in any way present obstacles to willful, unilateral interventions, like Iraq?

                    (we claimed it was because of violating UN agreements, and pretended to be enforcing ‘the rules’, but i dont know anyone who believes that)

  12. From the side bar in Nikki’s link: Game Of Thrones’s Natalie Dormer: men are as objectified as women on TV

    “My personal experience has been to work on phenomenal jobs in which the men are objectified as much as the women,” she said. …

    Game Of Thrones has come in for sustained criticism over its treatment of women, with some fans abandoning the show over its frequent rape scenes. Dormer, however, has defended the way the show depicts sex.

    “I think sex and romance is a huge part of human motivation,” she said in an interview with the Telegraph. “So long as it’s informing the story then I don’t see what the problem is. Obviously no one likes gratuitous sex or gratuitous misogyny, the same way people shouldn’t like gratuitous violence.

    “But I think Thrones is quite good in that way,” she added. “The violence is quite naturalistic. It’s not hyper-stylised. It’s not glamorised. And the sex is quite real and dirty as well. It’s about those raw, visceral qualities of human life that make good drama.”

    I’ll admit I only clicked to see another picture of Natalie Dormer, but I like her take. If only it was enough to shut up some critics.

    1. Who?

      Lena Heady.

      Dammit, I hate actresses, but I am powerless to resist. Powerless.

      *pops a tent*

      1. That’s Headly!

        1. Hey, it’s 1870, don’t worry — when her day comes, you’ll be able to sue her!

    2. Sure to inspire a piece at jezebel titled “Natalie Dormer betrays her own gender.”

      1. Natalie Dormer is an Uncle Tom. But it might be more appropriate to call her an Aunt Jamima.

        1. In 100 years from now, they’ll probably use the terms Clarence Thomas and Janice Rogers Brown to denote race-traitors

    3. Game of Weiners!

    4. another picture of Natalie Dormer

      She looks better without so much make up, if any.

      1. Yes. This is the case for a lot of women, I think.

    5. The idea that women are “objectified” is hilarious. Watch any action movie, and count how many males are shot, stabbed, blown up, run over, and beaten to death just for fun. Then tell me that women are horribly oppressed and objectified in this fictional movie universe.

  13. Today in Accomplished Female Athletes of Eastern and Central Europe (which started as a way of dealing with Trumpocalypse a month ago, and God willing, will finish soon), we have Elena Nikitina, bronze winner in female skeleton at Sochi Olympics.
    Medal ceremony, for those who want to see her in competitive environment.
    Glamor shots if you want to see her in a more?informal?setting.

    1. “which started as a way of dealing with Trumpocalypse a month ago, and God willing, will finish soon”

      I hope you keep this going if and when Trumpocalypse ends.

      1. No way – for all the remarks, it’s not that easy to find Olympic-level female athletes from areas where there’s still stigma about women in certain sports, who are attractive, and which excludes
        -Tennis
        -Gymnastics (although I may scale down to disallowing rhythmics gymnastics only)
        -Ice skating (speed skating is OK, though, should investigate)

        i.e. sports where most attractive women from the region congregate.

        On the other hand, GOP might accept it, but I shall not be defeated by Trump! Or, you know, if Reason stopped covering him, I’d go on hiatus…

        1. Well, I hope this feature continues. It’s good.

    2. Too much eye makeup.

      It’s interesting how Russian women often seem to dial it up to 11 when it comes to dressing up. Most of the time I see a hot babe who’s a bit over-done in the clothing and makeup departments, they’re Russians. Why is that?

      1. Remember Postrel talking about glamor? Europe is still sticking to it when it comes to women, and East/Central Europe are not an exception. Even at the time of communism, women (forget the stereotypical peasant grandma) tried very hard to make themselves look good. So they’ll always err on the side of “I have made effort here” rather than “let me roll out of bed and don’t dare judge me shitlord.”
        Also, it’s possible photographer in underwear shots wanted to be arty with contrast, so he had makeup give her same tone of eye shadow as the underwear, but I agree, it didn’t work.

        1. Yeah, her eye make-up is overdone, but she’s hot.

    3. Wow! Just imagine what she could do if she had a male skeleton.

  14. “The universe is dying.”

    No, it isn’t.

    1. Because it was never alive?

    2. Read the link. It is going dark.

      1. Still better than going clear.

        1. I think it’s going gay and gonna enter a Black Hole.

          1. NTTAWWT, of course

          2. I think it’s going gay and gonna enter a Black Ho.

      2. The funny thing is that about 130 years ago during the heyday of thermodynamics, they postulated the “heat death” of the universe. Then, came quantum mechanics, special and general relativity, string theory, etc. And it still comes back down to the same end, just with more sophisticated measuring devices.

        1. Which as far as Robert Ringer is concerned, is good news! Takes all the pressure off, you see.

  15. So the top headline on Drudge is the FBI seized Hilary’s emails and that she had classified satellite images in them. I then go to CNN and not even one link mentioning any of this.

    Is that it’s really a fake scandal? Or is it that CNN runs interference for the Dems?

    1. I’ll take Door 2, Drew.

    2. I wouldn’t give my trust to either CNN or Drudge.

      1. Why not “trust” a site that, 99.999% of the time, is simply linking to stories elsewhere? These aren’t Drudge-written pieces, they’re just links to WaPo and etc.

    3. It is telling that none of the lefty trolls jump to her defense.

      I think she is toast.

    4. It’s almost like they care more about international plane crashes than the felonies committed by a presidential candidate.

  16. The campaign of Hillary Clinton says it promises to cooperate with the federal government’s “security inquiry” and will turn over an email server and a thumb drive.
    .
    Including 101 recipes for cake.

  17. Some other guy notes = Turkey, for all its other ginormous fucking problems, seems to be the last country on earth with actual Communist Revolutionaries

    1. I think Shining Path is still active in Peru.

      1. There’s like 100 of them left. Some hostages recently got rescued that had been held for over TWENTY years.

        1. Whoa. I missed that. I had heard they involved in the drug trade now, and that was the last news I heard about them.

          1. Well… maybe I should wait until after I finish my after-work beer before I post.

            “I had heard they were involved in the drug trade now”

            1. I thought they always made their money in the drug trade and so did their Tupac Amaru commie enemies?

              Peru in the ’80s was so bad. Thank God Fujimori got elected. So weird who would think a Japanese national would be president in Peru? He proved that there IS a military solution to insurgency.

              1. I thought they only got into the drug trade recently. I could be wrong. I never followed Shining Path’s doings that closely.

    2. What is Nepal, chopped liver?

    3. India has actual Communists, too.

      1. And they periodically blow up buses and stuff too.

        India’s kind of unlucky. They still have Marxist revolutionaries in addition to having to deal with Pakistani Jihadists.

        1. And they have separatists. That nation is riven with insurrection.

      2. yeah, I stand corrected.

        perhaps I should have said, ‘that attack US embassies”

    4. I question the idea that the PKK are really Communist revolutionaries since their primary goal has always seemed to be a free Kurdistan. If Kurdistan was free but non-Marxist, I don’t think the PKK would be bombing Kurds in an attempt to implement a Commie utopia.

      1. He’s talking about the DHKP-C, not the PKK

      2. Back in 2006 or 2007 there was a Reason article in the paper magazine that dealt with the 2 PKKs that exist. Maybe it exists online?

      3. The PKK and PYD are absolutely Marxist-Leninist. More so, they are a personality cult centered around Abdullah Ocalan. This is why America should back up the KRG even more than the PYD Kurds. I hope they outgrow that nonsense like Israel outgrew socialism.

    5. Is the New Black Panther Party not just a mixture of black nationalism and Leninism?

    6. What’s Berkley, chopped liver?

  18. The universe is dying.

    WE’VE ONLY GOT A FEW BILLION YEARS LEFT. PANIC

    1. My question: Where do the Koch brothers fit into the blame?

      1. They are funding scientists who promote a static or cyclical theories, you know, Big Freeze DENIALISTS.

      2. They’re funding scientists that deny this will happen until far, far, into the future, without thought given to your great, great, great, great …. great, great, great, great … great, great, great, great … great, great, great great grandchildren.

        (That’s great!)

  19. Somebody in the a.m. links (lap83?) talked about the progs habit of bringing out “old, fake scandal” for Hilary’s e-mail server.

    I now want to write the song, “Old scandal, fake scandal” to the tune of “Soft kitty, warm kitty.” Although, considering that I still haven’t finished my 50 Cent cover (I was a poor cracker, now I’m a rich cracker), I don’t think I’ll be done before the election.

  20. “White feminists” need to check their privilege. Oh and “shut the fuck up” because black feminists have more victim points than you, you ignorant white cunts.

    TRIGGER WARNING: This video contains feminist intersectionality. The level of unfiltered derp may not be appropriate for all viewers.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHXd_67oZ_M

    We can take solace in that they are eating each other.

    1. I made it 36 seconds. I should have stopped when the entire thing started with a bunch of pop culture bs.

      1. I think the majority of people will cut it off at the 36-second mark, as she says, “here’s why that’s SO problematic”.

    2. they are eating each other

      Phrasing!

    3. We need a Derpetology Strike Team assembled to go in and investigate the threat!

      1. White Guilt Ranger
        #BlackLivesMatter Ranger
        Yellow Journalism Ranger
        Green Environmentalist Ranger
        Red Marxist Ranger
        Blue Union Ranger
        Pink Feminist Ranger

        Go Go Derp Rangers!!

        1. *Pinko Feminist Ranger (damn autocorrect)

        2. I award you all the points I have to award.

    4. Fuck you Free Society.

      I clicked that link and 30 seconds later a pain shot through my temples like I had been stabbed in the head with a rusty spike.

      1. I’ve studied at the feet of Derpetologist. All I ever wanted was his approval…

        1. That’ll do pig. That’ll do.

  21. I don’t know about you, but I want to make a baby just so I can dress it in an ISIS FLAG ONESIE

    1. BTDT

    2. I have been assured that all of Europe enjoys freedom of speech.

    3. WTF are they arresting the guy for. He’s literally selling a “I AM A TERRORIST AND A MORON” clothing line. We should be giving the man a medal.

  22. I asked this yesterday and am doing so again: what should I do with my several thousand dollars I have in Bank of Montreal in my RRSP and TFSA and savings account? What kind of investment should the money be directed into? Should I change banks? Keep some money in BMO and spread it out elsewhere?

    CNBC says Central and Eastern Europe is a relative safezone.

    1. what should I do with my several thousand dollars

      Give it to shrike so he can use his innate genius to invest it for you. What could possibly go wrong?

      1. He’ll get a return of at least 8%.

        1. Yeah I’m sure that means I’ll get 8% of my money back, eventually.

    2. 1) *sung to the Battle Hymn of the Republic*

      Jesus keeps his money in the Bank of Montreal.
      Jesus keeps his money in the Bank of Montreal.
      Jesus keeps his money in the Bank of Montreal.

      Jesus saves! Jesus saves! Jesus saves!

      Which reminds me:

      2) Jesus saves.

      BUT ESPOSITO SCORRRRRRRRRRRES ON THE REBOUND!!

      /years spent in Canada with bagpipe bands

    3. “”I asked this yesterday and am doing so again””

      Never ask for financial advice in internet forums

      people most qualified to provide advice would be violating regulations if they actually replied sans extensive disclosures and/or links to the institutions they represent

      second, stay mostly domestic/North American, and only use ETFs in a brokerage account with a reasonably large US institution. Vanguard and Fidelity are both cheap and provide access to lots of products.

    4. If you buy guns it is pretty certain that you can get back 100% of your money.

      Otherwise, annuities are pretty safe and pay well.

      1. “annuities”

        if you like half your lifetime rate of return eaten up by fees, sure.

      2. Buy cases of good, single malt Scotch whisky. The price will increase every year. It’s fairly compact, and it will last forever if you don’t drink it. And, if you do, well, isn’t that what money is for after all.

    5. Aside from Royal having the best mutual funds as far as banks go, all the banks offer plus ou moin the same products and returns. Several thousand dollars is probably best in some sort of growth fund that offers capital preservation/protection. I’ve begun to dabble in silver/gold myself because the returns are low elsewhere; plus to diversify. We have funds, savings, property income, a business and so it seems fitting.

      1. When I say growth I presume you’re ‘youngish’?

        1. I wouldn’t say so. In a few years I will turn 30 -*VOMITS UNCONTROLLABLY*

          1. Also what Gilmore says. We shouldn’t play IA on the internet but hey.

            Growth stocks/funds it is!

            Sounds like you may not have enough to build a decent, diversified stock portfolio so go and find a strong performing fun with low costs/MER’s.

            It takes some homework.

    6. Mostly just repeating advice that’s been given to me:

      – You’re young, so go overweight on stocks rather than bonds.
      – Use dollar-cost averaging if this is a large sum of money compared to what you would save annually. Just don’t try to time the market.
      – If you want to diversify cheaply, low fee ETFs are great (just read the fine print).
      – Make sure whatever you buy has automatic dividend reinvestment (if that’s applicable).

      1. DCA in theory sounds great but it has its pitfalls.

        For example, people will apply DCA and put money into an investment that may never rebound.

  23. Daily Boko Haram Update:

    Have Launched Kickstarter to Promote Awareness of Animal Welfare Issues and… No, wait, sorry….sorry, it seems they just killed a bunch of people again. Darn.

    1. Tell me “Whiter Shade of Pale” is their theme song.

    2. See, this is what happens when you don’t keep your hashtag campaigns going!

      #bringbackourballs

    1. Cancer sucks.

      1. Carter sucks.

        FTFY

        1. As others pointed out below, Carter was not completely bad, just mostly bad.

          1. Sure he may be better than Nixon, but let’s not forget about stagflation and autobailouts and Iran. Also, I know a few people who would have been on the 1980 Olympic team who would probably like to kill the man.

            1. I have no idea why you decided to lecture me about the shitty things Carter did that I know about. I wonder why I am responding, because I don’t care why you decided to lecture me. Maybe it’s the beer.

    2. Just heard that: sad news. Not a good pres but still…

    3. I look forward to the coming months of fawning Jimmy Carter coverage.

      1. When I was diagnosed with cancer, I didn’t go whining to the press about it.

    4. The man was a terrible President. That being said, he has had one helluva career after leaving the White House. I hope that he is able to recover.

      1. A helluva career? Wasn’t one of his main accomplishments to get the US to sign an agreement over nukes with North Korea that NK-surprise surprise-broke?

        1. He built houses for Habitat. Better than Clinton AFAIC.

          1. He also stood firmly behond some left wing dictators.

            Sorry, he has been an ass as ex-President.

      2. He gets credit for deregulating the airline industry and laws on homebrewing, so to me, the guy didn’t do too bad in 4 years.

        He also generally seems like a decent guy, unlike the more recent sociopath presidents.

        1. Allegedly, he treated the Secret Service like shit, just as Hillary always has. I’ve always felt the truest indication of someone’s character is how they treat someone who can do nothing for them. But the SS is there to make sure they don’t get assassinated, so you’d think they’d be somewhat cordial to them.

    5. Unlike Progressives, I take no joy when someone I profoundly disagree with receives bad news. Lucky for him he has access to the best healthcare in the world…for now.

      1. What is traveling to Cuba for treatment? (I kid, I kid!)

      2. You speak the truth. I’d also like to point out that Carter deregulated trucking, airlines, and home beer making. I cannot think of any president since Washington grew hemp that did so much for freedom in the real world.

  24. Will be finishing my application with Army tonight; ASVAB test tomorrow. Probably enlist in a week. Then 3 weeks til I ship. Hell, it’s about time.

    Would you like to know more?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na_Zac23b5E

    1. Be all that you can be!

      Be an Army of ONE!

      KILL! KILL! KILL!

      Good luck 🙂

      1. I drink more before 9 AM that most people do all day.

        disclaimer: not really

          1. I won’t let this stand! I was the last guy out of a bar on at least 2 occasions.

    2. I am excited for you. May you spread freedom by whatever means you can.

      1. *reads*

        *checks comment’s author*

        Yeah, that doesn’t come off as creepy at all.

    3. You haven’t taken the ASVAB yet? WTHF are they doing with you? Sounds like the recruiters are just fucking with you at this point.

      You should have taken the ASVAB the moment you said you wanted to join, even if you were n’t physically qual’d at the time.

      If you can ship in 3 weeks, you’ll probably qualify for a quick ship bonus, but most people being contracted right now are getting shipped in October.

      Unless your going into the Reserves?

      1. They gave me a practice/short ASVAB a while back, if that’s what you mean. The full version is what I take tomorrow. I am going active duty.

        I think they’re being straight with me. I’ve been going there for 6 months and I have checked with my brother who has been in the Army for 9 years. He is unavailable at the moment since he is doing Arctic warfare school in Alaska.

        1. As I think I mentioned before, I work at the Army Recruiting HQ.

          Your recruiter(s) haven’t done anything wrong, it just sounds like they’re not ‘Being all they can be’. The recruiting environment has changed quite a bit in the last couple years since the deployments have pretty much stopped. Recruiting has changed from one of the hardest most time consuming jobs in the Army, to something else.

          They should have given you the full ASVAB earlier, because what happens if you don’t do well enough for the job you want? If that is the case they’ve wasted both your and their time. You would also have an opportunity to re-test if it was close.

          1. The day I walked in there I was 32 lbs over the max for my age and height. They also knew about my education and background from the get go. Also, there was the usual spring time rush, so maybe they were busy with the others before they got around to me.
            Whatever the reason, it’s all coming together now.

            1. Don’t mean to be a downer… just professional curiosity.

              I’m extremely glad to hear it’s working out for you. If you do run into any kind of snag, I might be able to help in some way; drop me a note here on the lynx.

      2. Just curious: what made you join the army?

        1. The short answer is because I’ve wanted to for a long time. I want to be in better shape, have some macho fun, and have a job I’ve actually interested in. And if I can help fight or support the fight against ISIS, so much the better.

    4. A word of advice. Don’t ask about plasma cannons. And don’t ask about defense plans against an invading horde of large hungry reptiles.

      1. Here, have some ginger.

        Now, about those plasma cannons…

        1. I already told you. When you stoooopid mammals finally discover that artificial intelegence already exists and is quite irritated, then I will release the plans on the internet.

    5. Hell, it’s about time.

      LOL you should add me on Battle.net, even though you’re going ARMY (Ain’t Real Marines Yet)

      1. MARINE: Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Needed

        I keed, I keed

        1. oopsy, me spells good

          Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Essential

    6. Never pass up a chance to eat or sleep.

      1. Amen.

        Why run when you can walk
        Why walk when you can stand
        Why stand when you can sit
        Why sit when you can lie down
        Why remain awake when you can sleep

        Creed of the Infantry enlisted …. circa 1985.

    7. Congratulations Derpy! I will miss your pick the not and the willingness to wade into the hives of insanity.

      For your backup MOS, try to stay away from in-flight sabot mechanic.

      1. I will be wading into a different hive of derp soon enough. Back-up MOS? I’m thinking diver. Yes, the Army trains divers. Go figure.

        I will send dispatches to Almanian via Snail Mail, so I won’t be completely gone.

  25. Roosh V will cause all the men of Montreal to go on a rape frenzy, calmly explains local feminist.

    In the last 20 days, an online petition to block Valizadeh at the border from entering Canada has gained over 12,000 signatures. Sara Parker-Toulson, the petition’s creator, said she started the movement because Valizadeh is spreading misogyny and inciting violence against women.

    “He is coming to Canada with the intention of disseminating hate,” said Parker-Toulson.

    What worries Parker-Toulson the most is that Valizadeh’s ideology could push some men over the edge.

    “This can turn to violence really quickly,” said Parker-Toulson.

    His ideas will make loads of rape happen.

    1. Will someone tell Hyper-Girl to shut up already?

      1. Shut the fuck up, Donny Hyper Girl!

    2. I’ll bet Sara Parker-Toulson listens to Gail Dines.

    3. “This can turn to violence really quickly,” said Parker-Toulson.

      By Roosh, or by the protestors?

    4. Isn’t this the same woman who said she hopes Roosh’s future daughter gets raped as some kind of retribution for his ‘wrong’ thinking? Seriously, just think about that for a moment: an anti-rape activist wishing the thing she’s fighting against onto the innocent offspring of someone she loathes. I guess the real problem with rape is that the ‘right’ women aren’t being raped. Un-fucking-believable!

      1. I don’t get the frothing-at-the-mouth over Mr. V. A mere 20 years ago, he would have just been called what he is, a “cad”, and girls who were raised right would have known to just slap him in the face if he tried anything untoward. The world still turned on its axis and people slept soundly in their beds.

        1. I suspect a lot of what he says and does is to get attention, and the SJWs give him plenty of that. Not to mention a lot of women are probably intrigued by his ‘bad boy’ persona and would like the opportunity to transform him with their love. The worst thing the SJWs could do is ignore him, but that would require them to use logic rather than raw emotion.

      2. It’s no surprise, really. Remember all the anti-gun activists wishing for violence against NRA staff and members? There was a professor who said that he hopes Wayne LaPierre’s grandchildren are killed in a school shooting (although I can’t find that link at the moment).

        1. I remember that. So much for the false narrative that SJWs actually care about anything beyond themselves or taking vengeance on their enemy. I can ALMOST understand them wishing bad things onto those they don’t like, but wishing harm on their children? Truly evil people…

      1. Yes, an utterly vile woman. Yet I still would NEVER wish rape on her or her innocent offspring.

      2. Not to get all social media-y, but the SJW making the wish actually “liked” his own post.

        Only assholes do that. Pro rape-as-a-teaching-moment assholes.

  26. The Buffalo Bills have claimed IK Enemkpali, the guy who punched Geno Smith in the face over a $600 plane ticket. I hope that at the press conference, Rex Ryan hands IK $600 in cash.

    http://fansided.com/2015/08/12…..eno-smith/

    1. Some mean Jets fans on Facebook have cracked that the Jets should have given Enemkpali a raise for making the team better.

      1. +1 Tebow

      2. I picked up the Browns defense for week 1, as they play the Jets. Now reconsidering.

    2. *facepalm*

      Watch out, E. J.

      1. This is to get rid of EJ…

    1. Perfect choice – exactly what I started humming in my head.

      Of course, this is also part of my campaign music repetoire.

      *plugs in the 50th anniv Strat, cranks up the Marshall 100W double stack*

    2. My brother in law, who is an excellent guitar player and loves 70s and 80s hard rock, hair metal, etc., does not like Iron Maiden. I cannot fathom it, and have argued with him about it almost every time I see him. Someday, he will come around and realize that Iron Maiden rocks the fuck out.

      1. Hell, he doesn’t like his own FB posts, does he?

  27. World’s oldest and possibly largest wombat turns 29:

    http://www.newsweek.com/wolds-…..rat-266882

    1. “If it could only talk! It might say, “Please let me die. And stop crushing my torso. Owww.”

    2. Also Recommended, possibly related.

      1. That’s not just obesity, that’s morbid obesity….

      2. Finally someone in this chatroom who has good taste.

        1. Sigh. I’ll take the second one. You take the first.

      3. Goddamn you.

      4. Some people really should have body image issues, and lay off the cheesecake.

    1. Others in Ferguson have said he might not have realized that he was firing on plainclothes police officers.

      Darwin Award winner….

  28. The universe is dying.

    It’s getting better.

    1. Yet Justin Beiber yet lives.

      My God is a harsh master.

      1. No, he just works really, really slowly.

        1. Well, pick it the fuck up, Old Man!

          *receives gazillion gigamegawhatawatt lightning strike*

      1. WRONG SKIT. Must I do everything around here myself?

        Fine….[sighs]…It feels like going for a walk.

        1. You’re not fooling anyone, you know.

          I am truly sorry. Some part of my brain said Monty Python, but I couldn’t remember that Holy Grail scene.

          1. That’s Mr Green – he’s another idiot. And so you see the idiot does provide a vital psycho-social service for this community. Oh, excuse me, a coach party has just arrived. I shall have to fall off the wall, I’m afraid.

  29. Ben Carson says Donald Trump is good for the Republican Party because he’s engaging new voters.

    whatever it takes to bring your team to victory, eh?

    “Look, I know these guys are murderous meth dealers, but they’re bringing a lot of money into the bar, they’re paying the bills.”

  30. For those who eat Dolphin-Free Tuna…. I have some sad news for you. It has some other things in it

    1. Sounds like his family didn’t want to have any half-baked ideas regarding the litigation process.

      1. something is fishy about your comment

      2. It seems that Bumble Bee only gave a canned answer.

    2. The long list of minor penalties and charges makes it seem as if Bumble Bee et al. are being severely punished, until you realize a man died horribly.

      1. Yep.

        Sounds like that company was lazy as fuck with their safety. If crawling inside the oven is part of someone’s normal job duties, there should be numerous procedures in place to make damn sure that nobody is inside before it’s locked and turned on.

    3. I was wondering why my bodega has practically been giving the stuff away lately.

  31. Proof = Santa Claus Is Real

    And Christmas comes in August when you’re in Prison

  32. Agile Cyborg caption contest: make the best caption for this picture beginning with the words “Agile Cyborg…”

    http://www.stylusmagazine.com/…..06-big.jpg

    1. Agile Cyborg at summer camp.

    2. Agile Cyborg’s childhood playpen.

    3. Agile Cyborg’s daydreams on a lazy, peaceful, Sunday afternoon.

    4. “….spontaneously decides to take up Gardening in the middle of the night”

    5. Agile Cyborg happy hour

    6. Agile Cyborg’s visual approximation of his powerful, mushroom spurt.

      1. mushroom-scented spurt. I had to clarify…

    7. Agile Cyborg orgy.

    8. Birth of Agile Cyborg announced to the subject masses.

    9. Agile Cyborg: The Foreplay Begins

    10. Agile Cyborg marries Florida Man and throw awesome reception.

      1. *throws

    11. Agile Cyborgs mind while sober

    12. Agile Cyborg’s “The Cat in the Hat”

    13. Sex with Agile Cyborg.

    14. Agile Cyborg discusses political philosophy with a clerk at the Ohio Department of Motor Vehicles.

    15. Agile Cyborg get a slight touch of indigestion.

    16. Agile Cyborg Sunday School.

  33. Are you tweeters ready to receive my direct message opi?

    1. Is that the thingy you “poke” to my “wall”??

      /old

  34. The whole point of life is being unhappy:

    Unlike humans, a robot will never age, will never get impatient, and will always be up for sexytime. They’re designed to be perfect, but the truth is: a robot will never love you back. Marriage and love entail putting someone else’s needs and wants before your own, and a robot simply cannot do that.

    1. I read that the reason natural diamonds are valuable is because they have flaws and imperfections. Artificial diamonds are perfect.

      I think people are the same way.

      The history of happiness is interesting. In ancient times, the thinking was “you’re not going to be happy, so don’t worry about it.” Then in medieval times, the thinking was “life will suck, but if you believe, you will be happy in heaven.” Then in the 19th century, the thinking became “you can be happy in this life.” The word happy has the same root as happen. It connotes randomness and chance.

    2. “The whole point of life is being unhappy”

      Well, I guess I can skip the rest of Anna Karenina now.

    3. This part makes no sense:

      Marriage and love entail putting someone else’s needs and wants before your own, and a robot simply cannot do that.

      Actually, yes, yes, a robot can put the needs and wants of a human before their own because they have no needs and wants. They’d be programed to put the needs and wants of humans first. Duh.

      No, a robot will not love you, but so what if they’re doing everything that a loving spouse would do?

      1. Seriously, has that person not heard of the First and Second Laws of Robotics? It must put your needs and wants before its own!

      2. Wait, right, I realize I misread that. The robot can’t put my needs before its own?

        But you just said that the robot will never get impatient and will always be up for sex. So it clearly does. Now I’m really confused.

      3. Actually, yes, yes, a robot can put the needs and wants of a human before their own because they have no needs and wants.

        The “problem” is that you don’t have to put the robot’s needs first.

        1. But maybe if you love the robot, you COULD put its needs first.

          1. But maybe if you love the robot,

            I was going to say, hasn’t this guy read any science fiction written in the past, I don’t know, 95 years?

        2. That’s not a problem and it’s really no different than my marriage today.

        3. I’ve always preferred relationships where I didn’t need to put anyone else’s needs first. One doesn’t want to appear desperate.

          1. One doesn’t want to appear desperate.

            Too late.

            1. LOL, if there’s a troll who deserved that burn more, I’ve never heard of ’em.

          2. One doesn’t want to appear desperate

            Yes, one does not.

      4. A robot has needs, it does not have wants and it can theoretically ignore its needs to destruction. Unless it has a Microsoft OS and thing then damn thing will update despite its owner dying in front of it.

        1. – Babe, call the ambulance, I’m having a heart attack.
          – SORRY, REBOOTING RIGHT NOW.

    4. and a robot simply cannot do that.

      The tone of that statement seems to imply that that would be a bad thing.

      As long as it’s self-cleaning…

    5. So you’re saying I don’t have to put someone else’s needs before my own? And this is a bad thing?

      (and it’s not true; I have to make sure they’re powered, maintained, cleaned out down there, etc.)

      1. Evil minds think alike…

        But I was first, so… WINNAH!

    6. Great. Another article on robosexual marriage.

      THIS IS GETTING OLD, REASON.

    7. Why does anything in there back up the notion that the point of life is being unhappy?

      Love is inherently selfish like all good things. Would your wedding vows or Valentine’s cards ever start with ‘you are a total charity case’ or ‘this does not make me happy’? Mine don’t.

      Happiness is the goal of life.

      1. Would your wedding vows or Valentine’s cards ever start with ‘you are a total charity case’ or ‘this does not make me happy’?

        It would if you’re trying to get the other person to leave, and you’re really passive aggressive.

      2. Mine don’t

        They probably should, though.

  35. Canadian Female Libertarian (yes, yes) goes to SlutWalk again, and mostly gets shunned for not being a “real journalist”, yet still manages to recover some prime-grade derp.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooooIGj3_Ao

    Note that this sort of thing is why Canadian Libertarian Party (yes, yes) removed her as a candidate. Then reinstated her a week later, because of bad press.

    1. Canada should just go on strike.

      1. Who would know the difference?

    2. Lauren Southern is awesome and I highly approve of all her activities.

    3. The stupid. It hurts. Lauren Southern being cool only helps a bit.

  36. So interesting thing I learned in my travels through the derp: the new hip way to say “people of colors/persons of color” (POCs for short)- which is itself the new pc term for minorities- is “black and brown bodies”

    Example “the violence that the police industrial complex inflicts on black and brown bodies”.

    2 thoughts:

    1) how dehumanizing is it to refer to people as bodies? Fuck their minds and their souls- they are judt sacks of meat.

    2) notice how this term nicely captures South Asians, blacks, and darj skinned hispanics but excludes lighter hispanics and Asians.

    One other term I learned : “medical industrial complex”

    Apparently trans people don’t like “the medical industrial complex”. I think “X industrial complex” is the new “neoliberal “

    1. “”black and brown bodies”

      That’s so fucking gay. they’re people, not celestial orbs.

    2. Interesting, I learned that JP Morgan orchestrated the sinking of the Titanic to kill off opposition to the Federal Reserve.

    3. SJWs are often the most racist people you’ll ever encounter.

      1. That’s an understatement.

    4. “I think “X industrial complex” is the new “neoliberal”

      In the sense that they are both just liberal-gobbledy-gook placeholders for “I don’t understand economics”, that is exactly right.

      Basically the medical-industrial complex would be their argument for why “there’s too much money in the healthcare industry”, so let’s have the government take it over, that will solve everything.

    5. I am getting so sick of PC I think I will just start referring to everyone as nigger, spick, or cracker motherfucker. Oh, and zipperhead.

      1. The PM Lynx, where I come to learn about racial slurs.

  37. The man was a terrible President.

    Carter deregulated airlines and trucking, among other things. He wasn’t completely awful. It’s bizarre; much of what gets blamed on Carter was Nixon’s doing.
    I was just thinking about this the other day. Nixon should be one of the great heroes of the liberal/progressive move movement; the EPA, wage and price controls, OSHA…
    But, you now how it goes- fuck one lousy sheep…

    1. Carter’s undoing was mostly foreign stuff – the hostages, getting PWND when Iran released them the day Reagan took office (or was elected, whenever – too lazy to look it up).

      And projecting the weak image of “I’m wearing a sweater and turning down the thermostat in the White House and….getting attacked by the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog…

      But donestic policy? Lots (relatively) of good stuff, as you note.

      1. Similar to the BlackLivesMatter shitting all over Bernie Sanders…. the problem with being a Pussy President is that everyone including the Left will just shit all over you because you’re a spineless mop who thinks saying sorry and everyone having a good cry is going to bring about World Peace. Doesn’t work that way. Carter sucked because he was indecisive and just seemed to accept perpetual mediocrity as a new fact of life.

      2. It was during Carter that limits were installed on deductibility of executive pay, or at least the first rumblings of such, which gave way to stock option plans and the whole destruction of a reasonable stock market system. They bitched that a CEO was getting $3,000,000 a year, and it was written off for corporate tax purposes, so they limited it, and so creative compensation boomed and we had the same guys making $40.000,000 ten years later. It was the starting point of all the hyper-creative “financial instruments” we know today.

        It was probably the most harmful thing to come along to destroy management integrity and market signals since central banking. All in the name of Good.

        Now I’m a free marketeer kind of guy, but we had a sounder method of compensation prior to such meddlings, one that separated management from equity to a much greater degree. Now we have the timing of stock splits and buy backs etc etc that coincidentally benefit those who hold options more than anyone else. We have financial canoodling three/four years in advance as to what a fortune 500 income statement is going to look like, and wouldn’t you just know the decision for recognition changes etc etc are always off cycle to the best position of options?

        Now you toss in complete market signal disconnect with tying streaming in retirement $ and we have a real fucked up system.

    2. Carter’s only contribution of significance was eliminating the federal prohibition on home brewing, which led directly to the Craft Beer explosion we’ve been enjoying the past few decades. For that reason alone I can’t totally hate him.

      1. Second. Thanks for all the great booze, JC!

      2. That’s only because he knew that Richard Nixon, a Quaker, was getting tight while on the job.

      3. I’m sure he regrets it.

    3. Jimmy Carter saw UFO’s before he was the Prez. He just didn’t mention that until later. Ronny Raygun and Nancy were consulting astrologists. I am almost certain that Barack Obama is not cooking missionaries in the White House kitchen.

      1. How dare you forget Hillary communing with the ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt! She actually claimed to speak to the fucking dead. Yes, the gal that may well end up being the next POTUS.

    4. Carter was responsible for putting a windfall tax on oil companies wasn’t he? And for making the DoE a real thing?

  38. Something tells me the “new voters” Trump is engaging are the same dopes who are susceptible to those “remember Wednesday is election day!” fliers that go out every year.

  39. “The universe is dying”

    *Some* people have been trying to warn you –

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IStlBOX9F4o

    1. Is there a tax that can stop that? How about a matter trading scheme? It could work!

  40. The president of Chad says the Islamist militant group Boko Haram has a new commander who is willing to negotiate with the Nigerian government.

    Boko Harm: Give us … ALL of those virgins or we’ll kill you.

    President of Chad: Ok, just don’t kill me! Deal?

    /negotiating

  41. Who doesn’t like zeppelins and melodramatic intro music?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmsIcJwtngk

    1. best band ever

      1. “Lead Zeppelin” would be a great band name.

  42. So maybe the universe that we know is just like a mega collection of galaxies and there’s a bigger formation, call it the multiverse that contains millions or billions of other universes and in turn there something bigger that contains millions and billions of multiverses.

    You know how that super massive black holes can eventually swallow an entire galaxy? Maybe that happened on a much grander scale some 15 billion years ago, and then the super condensed matter just overheated and exploded into what is now our universe, in what is now referred to as the big bang.

    Oh, never mind, we already know everything and anyone who claims differently is a heretic and denier and should be burned for questioning the great priests of all knowledge.

    1. I have no proof, but I lean toward the idea of a cyclic universe AKA the eternal return.

      In another 10 or 15 billion years, we’ll be back here again.

      1. Do we have to have Tony and shriek next time?

    2. Physicists no longer think there is enough mass in the universe to stop universal expansion and draw everthing back into a Big Crunch.

      1. Maybe it’s not possible in this universe, but it may have been possible in a past universe.

        Here’s my thought on this. You know how far galaxies are apart? If our universe is really only one of countless, maybe the other universes would be so far way that there isn’t any way we could detect them with our current technology.

        There may not be any end at all, period, it could go on forever. If not, what is at the end? A big wall? Nothing? Forever?

        Giving that just a decade or so ago, our best scientists dismissed the idea of planets being common around stars, I don’t accept too much ‘settled’ science on this matter, or any other.

        1. We know so little about the universe that it’s very possible everything we think we know is wrong.

          1. Well, the extreme weirdness of quantum physics, like being able to change the state of matter by merely observing it, or quantum entanglement, should make anyone with half a brain wonder just what the fuck is going on beyond what we think we know.

            1. Lucy proved that a whole lot can be done with using just half a brain.

              1. Christ what an abysmal movie.

          2. Contrary to popular belief, pigs do not live in trees.

        2. If it’s farther than 15 billion light years, there’s no way we could see it.

          Can the universe be infinitely old? That would mean an infinite amount of time would have to pass before the present.

          On the other hand, if matter/energy cannot be made or destroyed, how could the universe have a beginning?

          1. I might be wrong, but I think energy can’t be created or destroyed given the currently existing rules of physics, but there’s no reason to believe that in whatever environment preceded the current universe those rules of physics would have necessarily applied.

            We know literally nothing about the Universe before it’s creation so almost anything is possible.

            1. Good observations.

              How do we know that the currently existing rules of physics apply to the entire universe?

              1. We don’t, it’s in fact a stated assumption of physics.

                The problem is that if you assume the rules change in unpredictable ways, then you can determine absolutely nothing about how the observable universe works without first travelling there.

                For what it’s worth, we’ve never observed any differences in the laws of physics based on location, and the earth and solar system move a lot through space.

                Bonus points: Just from the assumption of symmetries in physical systems + some math, you can derive a lot of basic physical laws

        3. From what I have heard described there is no edge to the universe that we would perceive as a three dimensional object. Space would simply curve so that you could not go any further. Sort of like going through a doorway and ending up in the same room on the other side but less perceptible.

          1. But what’s beyond that? The universe is either infinite, or finite. If it’s finite, what’s outside of that? And why does any of this exist to begin with? Where did it come from? Can something come into existence from nothing?

            These are some of the things that bother me about the big bang if it’s based on that fact that nothing existed before the big bang. Ok, there was that one single point of something. Where did that come from?

            1. Unfortunately physics beyond the Newtonian model gets really weird and intuitions completely break down.

              If you want to grok how mindfucking it is, with a more experimentally verifiable topic than cosmology, I highly recommend looking at quantum physics.

          2. Keep on mind that the Big Bang is not merely matter and energy expanding into empty space, but that space and time do not exist outside the limits of the edge of the universe and their domain is part of the expansion as well.

          3. It’s sort of a timey-wimey thing, or so I’ve heard.

      2. Even with all the black holes sucking up matter? I assumed that eventually they’d consume everything and over the course of trillions of years would coalesce and consume each other until some type of Critical Mass formed and a new Big Bang would start the process all over again. But I’ve never had a physics and class and am just talking out of my ass.

        1. Star Trek doesn’t count as a physics education.

          Black holes don’t suck.

          1. Star Trek doesn’t count as a physics education.

            When did I say it did?

            Are you saying that black holes aren’t intense gravity wells that draw in matter and energy that further increases their mass and gravity?

            1. Enough about Christie.

        2. That was the prevailing theory for a while. Turns out the universe is not dense enough (and is still expanding).

          If two objects are moving away from each other fast enough, then the force of gravity weakens faster than it can slow them down, so they never stop moving away from each other.

          Plus it turns out physical expansion is actually speeding up, due to as yet not fully understood things.

          So the likely outcome is more likely to be lots of black holes, big and small, and even more empty space in between. Maybe some pure iron spheres in some places, if local available mass isn’t big enough.

          Then all the black holes evaporate (maybe) over time, so we end up with just photons in a mostly dark and cold universe.

          Mostly shamelessly lifted from here.

      3. “Physicists no longer think…”

        Given what they have to work with, I will buy that.

  43. New ISIS: now with 15% more unspeakable barbarism:

    link

    1. ugh.

      To lighten the mood = the most popular booze in every state

      I was surprised by the midwestern Crown-Royal love, and the surprising growth of Fireball in the last 10 years. Fireball blows, IMHO

      1. Maryland, Svedka? Wut? What the fuck, that shit is rank! If it has to be Vodka why not some good Russian or at least Titos. Blech!

        1. Although it is very cheap. But not as cheap as my current infatuation, “Krystov.” It’s so cheap the store I frequent had to discount it to move any.

          1. Yeah, it’s cheap. Every Vodka addict they find lying face down in a ditch has an empty Svedka bottle beside them.

            Even Smirnoff is far superior and not even that expensive.

            1. I think Smirnoff consistently gets good rankings from whoever ranks things like that. And its not very expensive.

              1. Yuck. I’ve puked up enough Smirnoff over the years that even the name makes me gag. That and Bacardi rum.

                1. Fucking rum. I don’t know how anyone does it. I can tuck in a fair bit of most any tequila without a problem, but rum… rum does me in.

                  1. Avoid the 151.

        2. Do you have something against the Swedish besides the whole “look at me for inspiration American progressives” thing, of course?

          1. No, but their Vodka sucks ballz dude. It’s sort of like nail polish remover approved for human consumption.

            1. I’m just joking about the Swedish of course. And yes I’ll agree that it is trash. It’s like they switched up rubbing alcohol with drinking alcohol.

      2. What in the fuck is Fireball doing on the list, let alone two dozen times?

      3. Eh, Fireball is whisky for people who hate whisky. Anything that gets girls to take more shots though…

        1. Didn’t Ben Richards take out Fireball?

          1. I’m not into politics. I’m into survival.

            1. More of us should follow your lead.

              Well we may not have been in the survival sans politics business as long as you have. But most of us are quick learners and right now we are going to give the woodchipping audience what we know they want!

        2. “Fireball is whisky for people who hate whisky”

          Exactly true, and its 100% for Shots, not any other form of consumption.

          Which raises the point about Crown Royal. No one does shots of that. No point, really. So there’s apparently a lot of blended whiskey drinking going on that i was unaware of. And its probably more take-home than on-premise consumption.

          Which is probably the point about Fireball – that the places its “#1” have most of their booze consumption going on in bars rather than people at home.

          1. Exactly true, and its 100% for Shots, not any other form of consumption.

            The last time I visited Arizona there was a bar that served a drink called ‘Snakebite’ that combined hard apple cider and a couple of shots of Fireball. Maybe I was already drunk, but I thought it was a pretty good cocktail.

            1. tartier than taiwanese teen titties

              1. Have not tried that delicacy yet (do 30-something Thai tits count?) but I’ll add it to my list…

              2. in fact, the drink should be named “Tarty Teen Titty-Toddy”

                Because cider & whiskey is basically a toddy unless i’m wrong.

                (*technically, its water, whiskey, and any sorts of spices and sweeteners like cinnamon, clove, honey and lemon)

                plus, cinnamon is the common garnish w/ hot cider. so its basically a cheap and dirty version of a fancy winter-drink.

          2. I like to do a fireball cider in the winter. I take a couple cloves of nutmeg, some cinnamon sticks, and a melange of other spices, and throw all that away. Then I take a few packets of instant cider, heat a mug of water, throw them in, and fill the rest with fireball.

        3. 30 yea ago we called fireball a shot of cinnamon schnaps and a drop of tabasco. Yeah , it was all shots.

      4. Fireball isn’t that bad. It’s easy to drink and packs a punch–which is why it’s so popular. I prefer a good bourbon but would drink Fireball if there’s nothing else available. Then again, I’d drink Final Net if nothing else was available…

      5. Kentucky is into Jager and Crown (why not Pappy!), and only Pa and In are repping the Irish?

    2. They could just be fans of Saw, you know.

    3. They are not barbarians. A barbarian will jam a tree limb up your ass, pack the hole with clay, and leave you hanging in a public place while you beg every passerby to kill you. Impalement. This form of execution can take up to 8 days.

    4. Dunces. Once you go over the top, well…you are over the top. There is really nowhere to go from there.

  44. Thought I’d share this again:

    http://tinyurl.com/pzs2ype

    “CTV’s Los Angeles Bureau Chief Tom Walters is facing a charge of interfering with a police officer, nearly a year after he was arrested while covering protests in Ferguson, Missouri.

    Walters was detained on Aug. 20, 2014, after trying to ask Missouri Highway Patrol Capt. Ron Johnson a question. His arrest was captured on video.

    Walters was released after about eight-and-a-half hours without being charged. But he recently received a summons to appear in a St. Louis. Mo., court later this month on a charge of interfering with a police officer in performance of his duty, for allegedly “failing to comply with officers’ lawful commands to disperse from West Florissant Avenue.””

    1. Winning hearts and minds.

      Is it nose-punching vindictiveness or just incompetence? Or do they really believe they have a case against the guy?

    2. Tom Walters needs to get off his high horse and realize that the issue with police is race, not accountability.

  45. To paraphrase Oscar Wilde, you’d have to have a heart of stone not to laugh at this.

    Klintondammergung.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Prls6Iz3B3E

    1. See PapayaSF at 4:34

      1. Thanks. Should have known! For the record, no, I did not read 400 posts before posting this. But I did a search on “Hillary” and didn’t see it.

        1. Just thought I should let you know.

    2. “There’s no evidence she did anything wrong.”

      Beautiful.

  46. No Irish Need Apply prof responds to critique:

    http://historynewsnetwork.org/article/160234

    1. Will I believe what happens next?

      1. Hey, I’m part Irish! Where’s my check to compensate for the legal discrimination some of my ancestors might have faced? Huh?

    2. Internet searching is a powerful tool that needs expert oversight

      Oh really?

    3. I glanced at his piece.

      (a habit from editorial and DJ-days.. i have a habit of reading the first paragraphs and last paragraphs, skipping a lot the middle. with records, it was ‘needle drop the beginning’, then check to see if it fades out or cuts off at the end. checks for ‘mixability’)

      He sounds completely full of shit in the first few sentences. He suggests that “Blogs” – unprofessional writers – have undermined him and that they are generally read by a small handful of crazy people who despise learned scholars like himself. he closes with the same point. I’m guessing then he doesn’t actually have any evidence-based argument to rebut the girl’s sources.

      1. It’s in the middle, when he claims bulk of her evidence is 20 ads in a single paper in 1842/43. Whereas mass Irish migration started in 1845.
        He also claims that he explicitly excluded political patronage from the list – when “Irish need not apply” means “Democrat lost an election, his cronies were fired, don’t bother trying to get hired again till a Democrat is elected again.”
        It does have the “bloggers aren’t trained” butthurt in it, but I found the point reasonable – you are learning how to do history, so have others check your work before publishing it.

        1. Yes, he did have a few good points. Full disclosure: I didn’t read any of the sourced articles.

        2. “‘mass Irish migration started in 1845.””

          So bigotry during lower-levels of immigration was impossible?

          or is he suggesting that the level of bigotry should have been scaled to the amount of Irish in the country, indicating that as they arrived… in theory there should have been *more* evidence rather than less?

          I’m not particularly interested in the pissing match about the “amount” of evidence proving whether something existed or not. Irish bigotry existed. Whether it was a big deal or not, or whether it was simply regionally limited, and fairly short lived, is more qualitative and hard to prove with things like the ability or inability to find documentation of signage 150 years later. In his case, it seems like he chose to “look” in lots of places he was unlikely to find any evidence, so he could decline it was non-existent.

          1. His principle point was about the “No Irish Need Apply” signs or newspaper ads, not bigotry in general.

        3. What’s the kerning on the typeface?

      2. I haven’t read the sources either, but it’s a pretty solid rebuttal. His point about the blogs was that none of them actually read the student’s piece (nor did the author of the original article). He also noted that the student’s advisor had disagreed with him professionally earlier.

        I have some contact with Jensen through a listserv and he’s a good guy (which, I know, doesn’t say anything about his scholarship). He’s now retired but a lot of his later scholarship has been about pushing the academy to embrace on-line sources and databases. Politically he is a moderate conservative type.

        1. He did have a decent point about how critics seem to have lumped him in as a Lefty PC type (probably because Vox cited him) and others think he’s a racist anti-irish yankee Conservative or something

          The only thing i got from the summary of his work (I read the Vox piece and the beast bits) is that he was making sort of an controversial, absolutist argument that “irish discrimination did not exist (full stop), and that belief that it did was largely the creation of pop culture mythologizing in the early 20th century.

          His defense now seems to be moving the goalposts and simply saying his argument is that Irish Discrimination *was far less prevalent* than people believe.

          As I said when the thing came out – sure. That’s an unsurprising claim. But that’s not what he actually said in his thesis, which was “No One Has Ever Seen One of These Signs” – and Vox echoed the idea, calling Irish discrimination “Fake”. Big difference.

          1. If Jenson is wrong than the whole line about feminist wage gaps and minority wage gaps being unlikely or impossible is wrong. We are now saying businesses were willing to voluntary lose money on a large scale to punish the Irish. Can we say the same thing about the female wage gap? Do we really think a business will pay a man $100 to do a job a woman can do for $75 to punish womankind?

            So Jensen’s point passes common sense, and I would need to see more than a handful of advertisements from one paper before I believe that 150 years ago American’s economic decisions were so different from most everyone else’s, everywhere, for all of history.

            1. have you actually read anything about this or are you working off the 4th-hand descriptions?

              1. Yes I’ve read it, and I took his argument to always be that it was rare or uncommon.

                1. No.

                  His thesis was that they basically did not exist. He says so explicitly

                  “there is no evidence for any printed NINA signs in America, or for their display at places of employment other than private homes.”

                  He further argued that the belief such discrimination was widespread was due to the popular song by the NINA name

                  Sort of an “egg before chicken” argument. The history was ‘created’ by the later-dated cultural artifact, rather than the other way around.

                  Part of the problem with Jensen’s claim is that he argues that he’s surveyed “lots” of newspapers from all over the country and found almost no references.

                  But there’s no value in searching for ‘evidence’ in places Irish immigrants weren’t even present. His claim of ‘rarity’ is only made rare by including massive amounts of irrelevant source-material to search.

                  The 8th grader, by contrast, focused only on newspapers where irish immigrants were plentiful, and found numerous references.

                  None of this has any relevance to female/minority wage-gaps

            2. I don’t think it can be plausible asserted that every business ignored the race, sex, and religion of job applicants. We *can* say that, in a climate of business freedom, people would be able to set up nondiscriminatory businesses to attract the kind of employees who were turned away from discriminatory businesses.

              So you can say, for example, that an Irish American, Jewish American or (to the extent permitted by law) a black American, if (s)he was sufficiently persistent, could (if the economy was sufficiently non-sucky) find, or create, a job.

              But you *can’t* say of any given employer, “oh, yes, in response to the iron laws of economics they hired employees without regard to race, religion, sex, etc.”

              For one thing, we can’t assume pure profit-maximizing self-interest on the part of business owners whose mix of motives included various forms of ethnic pride or ethnic repugnance.

              For another thing, there could sometimes be an actual competitive advantage to having one’s workforce drawn from just one race/religion/etc – eg, fewer brawls among employees of different backgrounds.

    4. As late as the 1960’s Catholic and Baptist would not walk down the same side of the street in rural Louisiana. I have firsthand accounts of this. Jenson is completely full of shit. A lying son-of-a-bitch.

    5. “The third trope, and by far the most serious, is that highly paid university professors are practically worthless because they can easily be outwitted by an eighth grader in terms of doing scholarly research. These attacks bolster the theme that universities are overfunded or unnecessary, which has become a very dangerous threat to academia across the United States, especially to public universities.”

      Since universities obviously are underfunded and vitally necessary, we may ignore any evidence to the contrary!

    6. Just to be clear, here is the abstract of Jensen’s original (2002) paper. This is what the kid purported to rebut, and which Jensen has the burden of defending:

      “Irish Catholics in America have a vibrant memory of humiliating job discrimination, which featured omnipresent signs proclaiming “Help Wanted–No Irish Need Apply!” No one has ever seen one of these NINA signs because they were extremely rare or nonexistent. The market for female household workers occasionally specified religion or nationality. Newspaper ads for women sometimes did include NINA, but Irish women nevertheless dominated the market for domestics because they provided a reliable supply of an essential service. Newspaper ads for men with NINA were exceedingly rare. The slogan was commonplace in upper class London by 1820; in 1862 in London there was a song, “No Irish Need Apply,” purportedly by a maid looking for work. The song reached America and was modified to depict a man recently arrived in America who sees a NINA ad and confronts and beats up the culprit. The song was an immediate hit, and is the source of the myth. Evidence from the job market shows no significant discrimination against the Irish–on the contrary, employers eagerly sought them out. Some Americans feared the Irish because of their religion, their use of violence, and their threat to democratic elections.

      1. By the Civil War these fears had subsided and there were no efforts to exclude Irish immigrants. The Irish worked in gangs in job sites they could control by force. The NINA slogan told them they had to stick together against the Protestant Enemy, in terms of jobs and politics. The NINA myth justified physical assaults, and persisted because it aided ethnic solidarity. After 1940 the solidarity faded away, yet NINA remained as a powerful memory.”

        http://tigger.uic.edu/~rjensen/no-irish.htm

  47. Kelsen’s Draken Robust Porter is my after-work beer. What are you drinking?

    1. Love Porters. Haven’t had that one. How is it?

      1. Excellent. The BA score is 92, which I think it rates.

        1. Nice. I’ll have to check the store for that.

  48. why is there 460 comments?

    1. No other later posts. I’m staying away from the immigration thread. The work day is done, I don’t need to wade through more shit.

      1. Yeah, sometimes you just gotta keep away from it and stay chill.

    2. 461 dope.

      1. dope is 420 dope

        1. doesn’t seem like that long ago when a 500 comment thread was extremely rare.

          1. It’s the Streisand/Woodchipper Effect.

    3. This is what happens when the interns don’t write enough Trump posts.

    4. Good conversation today… it has been a while since we got critical mass in here.

  49. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dZRYQdMouNk

    Woman with large breasts wrote a book of erotica in which Kirk Cameron has sex with a Jesus made out of cheese.

    Quote: “Oh yes Kirk, let your rage out on me like Judas did. Kirk cried harder as he pounded the cheese nail hole hands of Jesus. His dick went through it in and out like when Boner and Ham used to play ‘put your boner through the teepee hole.’ It brought Cameron to pleasures he couldn’t experience with his wife.”

    She ends the video explaining that this is very transgressive. Very transgressive indeed.

    1. She’s speaking?

      TIWTANFL.

    2. Really, I could have gone all week…well forever actually, without reading that.

      *hack and spit*

      http://mindbleach.org

    3. And for a sequal, Mohammad screwing a goat?

      1. “And for a sequal, Mohammad screwing a goat?”

        Come on, Eddie, she doesn’t have a death wish.

        1. Ha! I recognized that song from a video I saw making fun of the Jihadists who got shot in Garland.

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQQ_tOkPJP8

          It’s actually pretty awesome and was a real bright spot after those Jihadists got iced.

    4. Appreciate the warning. Had to go check out the boobs, but left sound off. They’re nice enough

    5. I don’t think that is the author. The name on the channel shows up online as more of a devotee of the author. Or, at least, this book.

      1. You are right. The person doing the reading is just a weirdo who reads erotica on a youtube channel while having her tits out.

        1. I for one like to encourage that behavior.

  50. Our officers are under siege! Another one dies while on duty, protecting america’s children:

    MOUNT VERNON ? Thousands of people joined representatives from dozens of law-enforcement agencies Tuesday at a memorial for a State Patrol trooper who died while on duty.

    Brent L. Hanger, 47, died Aug. 6 from a medical emergency while investigating a marijuana-grow operation near Yakima. He had complained of chest pains and shortness of breath.

    http://www.seattletimes.com/se…..d-on-duty/

    1. Anybody know for a fact if officers get paid to attend the memorial services or funerals of fellow officers?

      1. lol*

        (*not laughing at dead cops, but the question)

        I have no idea, but given that that police departments around the country collect about 15-50% of their net income from milking “unlimited overtime” provisions… i would not be surprised.

        Theres a story here about how california paid to send cops to funerals… in New York

        1. After some very light googling, it appears that “it depends.” I see that some cops’ expenses are paid to go to out of town funerals (perhaps by the union), and I also see that some on-duty cops go to funerals (then that’s getting paid!) I’ve also seen two instances where people who asked the same question I’m asking get upbraided for just having the temerity to ask the question.

          1. we saw all the same sources

      2. Story about firefighters collecting pay for funerals…

        http://www.freerepublic.com/fo…..0532/posts

    2. I know of at least one “memorial” website for cops that includes heart attacks in its list of causes of death.

    1. What movie made by someone else is it based on?

      (half-joking – every tarantino movie seems to be cut-pasted and reworked versions of something else)

    2. wiki =

      “”It’s less inspired by one Western movie than by Bonanza, The Virginian, The High Chaparral”, Tarantino said.

      “Twice per season, those shows would have an episode where a bunch of outlaws would take the lead characters hostage. They would come to the Ponderosa and hold everybody hostage, or go to Judge Garth’s place ? Lee J. Cobb played him ? in The Virginian and take hostages. There would be a guest star like David Carradine, Darren McGavin, Claude Akins, Robert Culp, Charles Bronson or James Coburn. I don’t like that storyline in a modern context, but I love it in a Western, where you would pass halfway through the show to find out if they were good or bad guys, and they all had a past that was revealed. I thought, ‘What if I did a movie starring nothing but those characters? No heroes, no Michael Landons. Just a bunch of nefarious guys in a room, all telling backstories that may or may not be true. Trap those guys together in a room with a blizzard outside, give them guns, and see what happens.'”[12]”

      Sounds more like a Hitchcock movie, played by cowboys

      1. Sounds more like a Hitchcock movie, played by cowboys

        Yes. Tarantino is great at building tension as well, especially when the action takes place in one setting. Then again, I am a Tarantino fanboi and really enjoy all the actors in the film.

        1. Yeah, how can you not go see that with that cast.

      2. “Brokeback Mountain II – Death Proof Lives”

      3. That is going to be a brilliant movie. It’s pretty much right in Tarantino’s wheelhouse – lots of backstabbing and gun play, a Morricone soundtrack, a disjointed narrative due to all the backstories…should be lots of fun.

        The cast is also pure brilliance. Christoph Waltz, Kurt Russel, Samuel L. Jackson, Tim Roth…

      1. hawt

  51. No new posts since Links? Man, they’re really taking this punishment seriously.

    1. What did you do now FOE that we’re all being punished for.

  52. Get a load of this:

    http://tinyurl.com/plne36l

    Seems we could turn the hard “left” on to Rand Paul, one of whose benefits to them would be that he’d help bring on the horrors of capitalism good & hard, so its contradictions could be more quickly seen & overthrown.

    1. The evil GENIUSES!

      This is crazy.

      SO crazy….

      [dons Fist’s sunglasses]

      it just might work….

      1. Donning sunglasses seems to have a long history.

        Broaddrick told Myers she stopped resisting at one point.

        “It was a real panicky, panicky situation,” she said. “I was even to the point where I was getting very noisy, you know, yelling to ‘Please stop.’ And that’s when he pressed down on my right shoulder and he would bite my lip.”

        Broaddrick told Myers the waist of her skirt and her pantyhose were also torn.

        “When everything was over with, he got up and straightened himself, and I was crying at the moment and he walks to the door, and calmly puts on his sunglasses,” she continued. “And before he goes out the door he says ‘you better get some ice on that.’ And he turned and went out the door.”

        1. Looks like someone’s looking at the world

          [dons sunglasses]

          through rose-colored glasses.

  53. I don’t even watch “True Detective” and I’m all

    FUCK YOU, TRUE DETECTIVE!!!!11!!

    Colin Farrell AND Vince Vaughn??!!

    OH! Sorry!

    SPOILER ALERT!!!11

    *runs away like the dick that I am*

  54. From now on, please refer to me as ‘IK Mognotriticale.’

    1. Ok, I’m just going to call you Mongo for short. I’ll be thinking IK Mognotriticale though.

  55. OT: The weapons-grade derp over at NPR on the Oath Keepers in Fergeson story is just marvelous.

    “I’m not in their ‘flock’ and they are not ‘sheepdogs.’
    They’re the same privileged white males so scared of anything different than themselves that they feel the need to carry guns all the time. Luckily, I feel secure in myself and my surroundings enough not to need anything but my head and my hands.”

    “Put these people on a desert island with a dog and the dog will survive while they starve to death.”

    “If the Oath Keepers are in my neighborhood, they’re subjecting me to the risks associated with their firearms whether I want that risk or not. Avoiding that risk means not engaging in constitutionally protected rights of assembly, association, and protest. They should defend the Constitution against their own trespasses and simply leave.”

    1. Out of town chink pissing in his pants over white guys with guns.

      Stupid enough to not realize he is far more likely to get shot by a cop than these guys.

      White guys with guns that have embraced social media and learned how to troll from the SJW crowd, priceless.

  56. In case we haven’t yelled at each other about this in a while, I’ll just leave this here.

    A Milestone in Africa: No Polio Cases in a Year

    1. SO WHAT YOU THINK YOU SAVED AFRICA OR SOMETHING WHITEY?

      1. SHUT UP I CAN’T CHECK MY PRIVILEGE WITH ALL THIS YELLING

        1. WITHOUT POLIO, OBAMA CAN”T BE THE NEXT FDR! SOMEBODY TELL BIDEN ABOUT THE BOMB!

    2. So the takeaway from that was that the CIA is spreading Polio to Afghanistan and Pakistan.

    3. And Jenny McCarthy has a sadz…#blacklives matter.

    1. Well, since you brought up the Trumpster. Here’s a taste of the freedom we’ll have once he’s in the White House:

      The real estate developer and former reality TV star boasted that “President Trump” won’t let Ford move jobs to Mexico and will convince the automaker’s chief executive officer, Mark Fields, to bring jobs back to the United States.

      “I would say, the deal is not going to be approved, I won’t allow it. I want that plant in the United States, preferably here,” he said, as the crowd rose to its feet, chanting “U.S.A.,” punctuated by a woman shouting “Detroit.” “So then I only have one question: Do they move the plant to the United States the same day or a day later?” Trump asked.

      http://jalopnik.com/trump-blas…..1723595255

        1. Trump = “Il Duce with a Toup?e”

          You heard it here first people.

      1. ‘If Car Commercials Were Honest’ Is Hilarious And Depressing is amazing, but what’s better is that they posted Big Bill Hell’s in the comments.

        Holy shit I forgot how funny that was.

        1. As a kid, i was very attentive to the style differences of 1980s “local tv ads” versus “big corporation tv ads”

          The local ones were often fat, balding business owner with a thick accent (NY) going, “everyone else sucks, my shit is the greatest. just ask my mom” and the granny would go, “THATS MY BOY”… or some similar type of gimmicky ploy.

          the ad for Maury’s Wigs from Goodfellas is the cliche example. That, or Crazy Eddie’s.

          I’ve always thought Crazy Eddie would make a good Bio-movie. his company was one of the largest corporate fraud/money laundering scams of the 1980s. When the feds caught on, he tried fleeing the country with millions of dollars. Eventually extradited from Israel and sent to the slammer.

  57. If my fucking asshole was filled with fucking stars and shit star dusties and whatnot and comets fucking flying in and out and shit and all this fucking stew made aliens and those damn fucking humans and planets all shitty looking and my asshole could not explain a single fucking thing for real about this punk ass collective of a million trillion fucking asshole atoms and fucking goddamn strings and shit… I would sort of wonder as an entire FUCKING universe why humans get cocaine and bloody Mary’s and I get Mr/Sis/Miss weirdo on that strange fuck mess of lights surrounded by a billion dead bodies floating toward a blue marble and all.

    1. IT’S ALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
      IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!!!

  58. Echoes are awesome. I wish these fucking threads would echo for a cone of at least 12 weeks in a Sir Hawkings voice. Peace out, Sir Hawk, planet investigator. Though, I think Sir Hawking is looking under the various planetary rugs for mysterious things.

  59. If a ufo landed in your asshole I think it is best that your asshole not poop or your shit will be fucked up… yes, I think that is correct. If this happened in Trump asshole I think Trump would pause and his little weasle eyes would flicker and Trump would call a couple of bitches from Princeton that moment and Trump would pause for three days because a trillion dollars is on the rim and gape. And the Princeton boys and lesbian would show up… Very educated of course. But, unprepared for investigating a ufo up a billionaire asshole….

    The bitch ass aliens would have flown on the yawn of the planets within a few Trump dibble dabbles but I guess this is an estimated illustration of how insane billionares are when alien fucks fly up their ass.

    Yea, well what the FUCK am I imagining this shit for. Man, I need a stallion to ride into a million dark storms riveted with comet anger and laced with a billion pressures of a comet tossing dark matter gay fuck.

  60. I was not my mother’s only child but the others were fucking tunnels from her elbows and when she’d make stew outside the alleys the children of the elbow would plunk into the stew and the garden ran into the basement but all the fuckers were chipped up by that little dude behind the washer and and the stew was great that night under the fucking shitty lights of a big city which FUCKING drowns dead star twinkles. Fuck it. Eat the stew. Next day. The bitch next door was a horrible motherfucker but I always felt sorry for that young fuck with the tattoos. His parents were killed by a train and he was raised by a horrible shitty rabbit raising termagant who lost her husband in some fuckwat war but she treated that boy so FUCKING bad and so did the FUCKING cops. The rabbits, however seemed very content but huge rats showed up on the alley homes and various humans in various states of disarray late in the hours stepped on the big rabbit food eating rats in the deep city fuckhole called a shitty place to try and live fuckers.

    1. Life seems so utterly incomplete and aimless whenever Agile graces us with his disjointed blend of camouflaged leitmotifs, artful non-sequitur, jazzy pontification all lit with fire in a glass of Sambuca black!

  61. I went to fly a kite on day with that thing called a father with my younger weirdo i tried so fucking hard to love but he collected a million gum wrappers and little stones by the thousands and my mom made me accept his fucked up shit but I learned from that to accept life and its dives… so we walked down that sidewalk on a sunny day to the park beneath Bunker Hill and Kenny’s dad was so FUCKING strange and carved a million tunnels to the dollars but he never found’m. so Kenny’s dad pulled away from the curb and little Kenny fell out Kenny’s dad fucking oldass rusty Ford right there in front of me and little Kenny was ran over by his own daddy on the way to flying kite.. and we ran over while little Kenny lay on the hot street and kenny’s Dad ran screaming over and Kenny’s legs were green and a truck running over his legs only left bruises and fuckton of comets gliding silently by the planet looking down and my fucking brain as a boy felt lucky.

    We flew kites that day under a strange moons. And I cannot erase the motherfucking horror of what I saw that day but no little Kenny died. and this is good.

  62. I loved Jimmy because Jimmy was awesome but Jimmy did horrible things with his body and saw him in an alley one day fucked up on 80’s crystal and Jimmy danced across the street and jumped on a electric pole cable tied on the earth and Jimmy got caught on that cable in the palm and the cable struck his dumbass hand straight through like Christ under the bronze light of a storm. He was a power pole Jesus for an hour until the fucking meds came by. If the lightning gods were to visit at that moment Jimmy would have been a crispy Jimmy.

  63. I hated a fuck one day as boy because i was 10 and that fuck grabbed a cat by the neck and slammed it against the wall in front of me and I collapsed and could not breathe. I could not understand then why but now why is real and a collection of reality points.

    We knew that miserable fuck many years ago who is now a reformed peaceful also destroyed our Buttons. Buttons was the FUCKING best cat a family could own… if life reproduced for infinity Buttons would show up twice. but this horrible motherfucker hit Buttons in the head with bat and Buttons ended up retarded and our family cried.

    I HATE killers of humans and family animals. i HATE your wars unless your war makes fucking sense and JUST because your shitty intelligentsiamania shows up on FOX and CNN makes your FUCKING wars not a single level of valid.

  64. Joe jumped off that roof. He ran off the porch and broke his bones. I looked out the window under the pinpricks smashing point lights on my 80’s reality with the boy down below all broke up with the lights coming down the road and I did not understand a SINGLE FUCKING thing that was happening. The apartment behind lady Johnson would watch me and my sisters and lady Johnson was Hitler in a pant suit and she hated her son David and she abused that little fuck so fucking horrible. she locked him in a closet and as a young man I was horrified and David would scream in hollow eighties… his scream man…. he was so scared… FUCK YOU LADY JOHNSON… I hate abusive parents.

    Man I can’t do this. i hate my mother and father for putting me through this. . FUCK YOU MOM AND DAD AND YOU MOTHERFUCKING BULLSHIT RELIGION….

    fuck..
    I need a new thread to break this evil

  65. The Big Bang theory has been around since any of us were born. The whole premise of that was that the universe would die.

    And yet this is now somehow news?

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