Russia Vetoes Resolution on MH17 Tribunal, University of Cincinnati Cop Indicted for Murder, Hunter of Cecil the Lion Closes Dental Practice: P.M. Links

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  • CNN

    President Obama joked about being able to win a third term were it not for the Constitution while speaking to the African Union, full of heads of state clinging to power.

  • Russia vetoed a United Nations resolution that would have opened a criminal tribunal into the downing of a Malaysia Air flight over Ukraine.
  • A University of Cincinnati police officer was indicted in the murder of Samuel Dubose, who he shot and killed during a traffic stop over a missing front license plate.
  • Philadelphia-area Rep. Chaka Fattah (D) was indicted, along with four others, on multiple charges of public corruption.
  • Could the rise of Donald Trump be helping Jeb Bush?
  • The Minneapolis man who hunted and killed Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe closed his dental practice after online outrage yielded threats.
  • A spy may be among four buried leaders of colonial Jamestown identified by researchers.

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  1. The Minneapolis man who hunted and killed Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe closed his dental practice after online outrage yielded threats.

    Ugh. This fucking lion.

    1. Everyone is really going 100% full retard on this.

      1. He killed a lion! Which is practically a person!

        1. Well, at least he didn’t tow it.

          For the record, I’m one of the staunchest anti-cruelty and animal welfare supporters here and I can’t find a reason to condemn his actions any more than those of a deer hunter or a slaughterhouse worker. Your word for the day is “charismatic mega-fauna.”

          1. Dude, that’s three words.

            1. [Glowers at Citizen]

            2. Well, two words and a prefix.

          2. But Lion King.

            1. Did you kill Mustafa?

          3. Depends, did he eat it? Make a rug or a coat or something out it’s hide?

          4. As a hunter, I have serious questions regarding how ethical his shot was such that the injured lion had to be stalked for 40 fucking hours before being dispatched with a rifle. If you can’t kill it humanely, don’t fucking shoot.

            The rest of what is going on on Derpbook is straight up retarded.

            1. For sure, like most things, there are some legitimate criticisms that are completely drowned by the FEELS.

            2. Clearly, C&W, you are an Anti-Dentite.

              In seriousness, I agree with your points. I know a pair of would-be hunters who honed their skills before hunting their own food, and another who told me that he cannot respect any man who enjoys killing things for the pleasure derived from killing them.

              1. Might be trying for the Big Five:

                https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_five_game

              2. Yeah, Charles, I’m not big on trophy hunting. But if done through the proper lottery and tag schemes, it does generate quite a bit of money for conservation efforts and is an effective wildlife management tool. Personally, if I don’t have a solid recipe for it, I’m not hunting it.

            3. Yeah, I thought that was fucked up as well.

            4. As a non-hunter, I have serious questions regarding how ethical ANY shot is. Go at it with your bare hands and then maybe some respect.

              1. Seriously that is kind of dumb. Lions have great big teeth and claws are pretty fast and strong. So for tigers as well. Deer: pretty fucking fast.
                Man: weak, little bitty nails and very small canines. Big fucking brain. Allowed us to invent stuff. Like spears, bows and arrows and guns.

                1. Yes, but man has a superior brain. And can fashion tools out of stuff that’s at hand. Even a Shat can kill a Gorn.

              2. OMWC,

                Wouldn’t it be comforting if all of our nutritional needs did not necessitate the killing/exploitation of other living beings?

                1. We can fulfill our nutritional needs without the killing of sentient beings.

                  1. OMWC,

                    I had several times rewritten a response to your comment, and I am now glad that I did not post the iterations, since you, in my opinion, have addressed an important point.

                    Sentience.

                  2. Sentience as a moral barrier to killing is just a “likeness to humans” argument. We have no way of knowing whether plants are able to perceive, in some non-animal way, their demise. I do know that they curl up in response to heat, they turn brown and crunchy during drought, they quickly attempt to reproduce if their environment becomes hostile, and many won’t grow from a branch that is pruned. There are certainly reactions to negative stimuli by plants, just not in a way that we can easily anthropomorphize.

                    What does that mean for our food ethics? I don’t really know. I just know that, IMO, sentience is as artificial a line in food ethics as viability is in abortion ethics.

                    1. My views on abortion are consistent with that, yes.

                      Now let’s talk about deep dish.

                  3. Jeffery Dahmer disagrees with this statement.

              3. Old Man with Candy is not a hunter.

                Got that?

              4. “As a non-hunter, I have serious questions regarding how ethical ANY shot is. Go at it with your bare hands and then maybe some respect.”

                I have the same feelings as regards the “Natural-ness” of Vegetarianism.

                I have suggested to a number of them that, out of respect for their connection to Gaia, that they might rub their naked bodies with gazelle glands, and take a long stroll in the veldt, and experience the loving beneficence of Nature firsthand.

                1. Naturalness has nothing to do with it. Respect for sentience does.

                  1. I doubt the sentience of vegetarians

                2. As one who has shot a lot of deer and some elk (and thoroughly enjoyed their meat on the BBQ), one always wants the hunted to die quickly. No one that i know that hunts thinks otherwise.

                  To me if you eat meat and oppose hunting you are a hypocrite as someone else is killing your meat and it’s not hard to argue that a deer who spent their life running free is a far better off than a cow .

                  I’ve never been into trophy hunting, but huge fees that trophy hunters pay here in Montana do result in hundreds of thousands of dollars that are used for research and management.

                  As far as I can tell it’s the same in Africa. Rich people shell out a lot of money to hunt a certain animal (including lions). A lot of that money goes into management of the resource, like paying locals to work with the parks and not kill the animals that tourists come to see.

                  These are poor countries, and locals will do whatever they can to make a buck including poaching wildlife. It’s not perfect by any means but if one lion getting shot helps the overall population over time I don’t have a problem with it. It’s fucking reality in Africa.

                  1. To me if you eat meat and oppose hunting you are a hypocrite

                    Couldn’t agree more.

              5. Old Man – curious where you draw the ethical line. Per your reasoning it’s not ethical for a human to use a gun to kill, what about a bow and arrow (like in the case here)? If not, what about a spear and if not what about throwing a rock?

                Or is hand to hand combat with a Lion the only ethical way for man to hunt?

            5. You are right, if you going to hunt with sticks, you best be in position for a kill shot. That’s just common sense.

          5. or a slaughterhouse worker

            Had a black sheep cousin who worked in a slaughterhouse in northern Minnesota. His job was to wring turkey necks for eight hours a day. He told me, “After a couple of weeks, I got pretty good at it!”

            1. And how ironic that the origin of the phrase “black sheep” came from the tradition where commercial slaughterhouses would employ a black sheep in the pre-slaughter pen. The black sheep would lead the other sheep to slaughter only to be reintroduced to the pen. Easy to identify, and as long as she did her job…

              Also, the more obscure phrase “Judas goat” for a goat used in similar fashion.

          6. Totally agree. I just think no matter what animal is hunted, still not as offensive as a factory farm.

      2. Of course…there’s only like three of those things left in the world, right?

          1. After he killed it he had to tow it.

            1. Of course! That’s obviously where the phrase towing the lion originated! Now one of us just has to go back in time to plant it in some long ago H&R thread!

            2. Damn your quick fingers.

        1. Hasa diga ebowai

      3. I really can’t stand it. Everyone just loves to be offended and outraged over everything. It’s outrageous.

        1. What if the lion’s name had been…Muhammad?

          1. That dentist would have to move off of Earth to ever find peace.

          2. It’s all part of the circle of life.

            1. Hakuna Matta.

          3. Well, they never would have printed its picture, so we’d be cool.

        2. “It’s outrageous”

          and offensive

      4. They really are. I mean, fuck that guy, but the reaction has been ridiculous.

        1. The only proper reaction is pure outrage. If you are not manically outraged, than you must be on Team Dentist, and have a small, impotent tallywacker.

        2. JB, that seems to be my reaction to news more and more frequently. Some fuckwad does something stupid, people rightly condemn him at first, but over the course of the next few days, the reaction escalates to maniacal derptitude

          1. Wouldn’t “Maniacal Derptitude” be a nice name for something else, as well?

            1. Or did someone else do something in Europe, between … oh, say … 1933 and 1946?

              1. Nice – especially considering the earlier articles/threads recently.

                I was expecting “Nice name for an album” or “Nice band name” (in keeping with some long-going H&R Posts).

                ‘Twas a solid response, I think, bunker solid, EDV.

              2. he had a band, too?

      5. Obviously rabid anti-dentites. Oh, it starts with a few jokes and some slurs. “Hey, denty!” Next thing you know you’re saying they should have their own schools.

        1. They DO have their own schools!

    2. The winner for most asinine reaction goes to The Hill, which came out with the expose that the hunter donated money to Romney in 2012.

      1. They saw the outrage and immediately thought, lets so who this guy donated to.

        I can’t stand journalism today.

        1. *see who this guy donated to.

      2. I knew there was something fishy about Mr. Clean the Mormon. He took the donation of a lion murderer!

    3. Hello.

      “President Obama joked about being able to win a third term were it not for the Constitution while speaking to the African Union, full of heads of state clinging to power.”

      Ga’head. Make your jokes. Jokey joker.

      1. Well, he did troll them rather expertly.

        1. Yeah. This is more a jab at their corruption and inability to follow constitutions than a power loss remorse.

          1. The Constitution hasn’t stopped Obama in the past. I don’t see why he’s pretending to care now.

          2. Your fantasy, I’ll stay out of it.

      2. “I love my job,” Obama told leaders at the AU headquarters in Ethiopia. “But under our constitution, I cannot run again. I actually think I’m a pretty good president. I think if I ran, I could win. But I can’t.”
        .
        Which part of that was the joke? The part where he thinks he’s a good president, the part where he thinks he could win a third term, or the part where he thinks he has to obey the Constitution? Sure, I’m laughing at all of that but I can’t see where he would have intended any of it to be a laugh line.

        1. Well, he has done a great job at pushing Progressive values onto us. I have no doubt that from his point of view he’s been a success. And I have no doubt he’d win if he ran again. The mainstream media would make sure of it by making his opponent (whoever they are) seem far worse.

        2. It’s scary, but yeah this dude could win a third go around, that scares me.

      3. I’m sure the SC can figure out a way that “term” didn’t really relate to a 4 year period in office, and that by 2 terms the writers of the amendment really meant “approximately 2, you know like less than 10.”

        1. Obviously the 22nd Amendment is racist. Disparate impact!

    4. The dentist should say that he was harvesting teeth for medical research, and that he was at least not harvesting unborn baby parts.

      There would have been much less outrage.

      1. UNBORN BABY TOOTH HARVESTING!

      2. But then they’ll claim the lion identified as female, so killing her was a hate crime against transsexuals.

    5. And in truth,paid,regulated hunting saves animals.

      1. Yeah, this so much. I still don’t know why someone isn’t breeding elephants and sea lions and shit for their ivory, rather than banning its sale (CITES treaty).

        I want some goddamned ivory on my new Gibson bagpipes like I have on my old Hardies and Graingers!

        1. PS Too lazy to check, but if someone IS breeding them, great – SEND ME SOME IVORY

          1. With elephants you can trim the tusks. The real outrage is when people were killing elephants, sawing off the tusks, and leaving the body there to rot.

        2. A true gentleman is a man who can play the bagpipes, but refrains from doing so within earshot of anyone else.

          1. Oh, aye

        3. The black market free range ivory is much cheaper than that would be. It takes a long time and a lot of work and food to raise an elephant.

      2. Does not fit the narrative. Dead broke African governments use fees paid by hunters to do conservation work….retards retard. The sun comes up the next day and nothing changes.

    6. Where does all this leave poor Flopsy?

      Dead, too, I guess….

  2. Russia vetoed a United Nations resolution that would have opened a criminal tribunal into the downing of a Malaysia Air flight over Ukraine.

    If only we could all veto investigations into our own wrongdoings.

    1. “If only we could all veto investigations into our own wrongdoings.”

      You new here? IRS, Bengazhi, Philly black panthers, Fast n Furious, …

    2. Yeah. So far that privilege is limited to Russia and cops, though.

      1. Come the revolution, your nimble fingers will be the first ones put into the woodchipper.

    3. Join the police force.

  3. President Obama joked about being able to win a third term were it not for the Constitution while speaking to the African Union, full of heads of state clinging to power.

    This is, at the very least, an incredibly tone-deaf thing to say. Maybe he was trying to prod the people that think he might do it? OR MAYBE HE IS GOING TO DO IT?!?!

    1. Honestly, at this point I hope Obama’s continued idiocy might ruin whatever legacy he wants in the historical record. But I’m cynical.

      1. Harry S Truman says hi.

        1. Nuked Japan which saved many Allied lives. Desegregated the military. Not a slouchy record.

          1. nuking japan as saving lives is debatable. it’s a commonly repeated trope- but a very rosey view.

            Also, the fire bombings killed WAY MORE japanese people.

            1. Still, Truman has something to go on. Obama has debt, starting wars, and…um…debt?

              1. You must have forgotten that Obama got on the phone and told a hot redhead to kill Bin Laden. He also made the fist bump cool and had our nation’s first beer summit. Additionally, he finally broke out of the “dark, professional” fashion style of our government and wore a sweet, yellow-ley jacket.

                That is four things right there, Mr Man.

                1. I am pretty sure Washington had a beer summit or seven.

              2. You must have forgotten that Obama got on the phone and told a hot redhead to kill Bin Laden. He also made the fist bump cool and had our nation’s first beer summit. Additionally, he finally broke out of the “dark, professional” fashion style of our government and wore a sweet, yellow-ley jacket.

                That is four things right there, Mr Man.

                1. A double-post? Who am I, lap83?

                  HA!

                    1. hey! (helps the squirrels out)

              3. Yeah, Truman has an actual, legitimate legacy, and even then that legacy is questioned all the time (the atomic bombings being justified is an argument that’s been around since the things were dropped). Obama’s so desperate for some illusion of a legacy that he actively creates problems that will harm his legacy. I mean, let’s say John’s view on Iran plays out in real life and there’s a regional nuclear war, millions dead. Obama is now the Neville Chamberlain of a radioactive mess for making a shitty agreement.

            2. nuking japan as saving lives is debatable.

              Not really. Thousands of Americans would have been killed in the invasion. Those are the only lives the US President has to be concerned about.

              1. Then don’t invade?

                Seriously, Cytotoxic, after reducing Japan’s military might to the levels it was reduced to, and diminishing the Japanese economic situation to something akin to dependency upon good future conduct, do you not think it possible to have “contained” Japan sufficiently for many years to come without resorting to the atomic bombs?

                1. Why contain when you can get an unconditional surrender?

                  If you go to war, that should be primary goal.

                2. “Seriously, Cytotoxic, after reducing Japan’s military might to the levels it was reduced to, and diminishing the Japanese economic situation to something akin to dependency upon good future conduct, do you not think it possible to have “contained” Japan sufficiently for many years to come without resorting to the atomic bombs?”

                  Given the way Japan had been behaving in the years previous to the war, no. They would have started up a fight again, probably very soon.

                3. I have to disagree. The Americans had to do what they did. You have to be ruthless in such a war. The Japanese were and the only way to win was to match their ruthlessness. I think they made the right call.

                  1. You have to be ruthless in ANY war. -FTFY

                    1. This is true, though your war boner when it comes to not your country is tedious, if you go to war do it , get the fuck and get the fuck out of dodge.

                4. Our ally, China, may have had some issues with Japan being contained while still holding a large amount of Chinese territory.

              2. ^^THIS^^

                1. That was for Cytotoxic.

                  And Chas, If Japan were contained for many years to come, how many of its citizens would have starved to death?

                  1. ^This and that^

                    Containment =/= victory or peace

                  2. Just finished reading Downfall about the last 6 months of the war in the Pacific. One of the (many) things I learned was the significant numbers of civilians that were dying in Japanese occupied territories.

              3. Cytotoxic is correct here. Every now and then that happens….

            3. But desegregating the military was itself a big thing. And something I don’t think he had to do.

              Going nuclear is indeed debateable, but we’ll never know. I can also see a timeline where we defeated Japan without nukes, but had a much tougher cold war because the Russians didn’t know or believe we had them, and doubted whether we would use them.

              1. It’s not debatable. It’s only debatable to people who did not live during the Battle of Okinawa. That was it. People who did not live through it and were not touched by the actual impact of it can’t possible have the proper context for the atomic bomb that followed less than two months later.

                “The battle was one of the bloodiest in the Pacific. Based on Okinawan government sources, mainland Japan lost 77,166 soldiers, who were either killed or committed suicide, and the Allies suffered 14,009 deaths (with an estimated total of more than 65,000 casualties of all kinds). Simultaneously, 42,000?150,000 local civilians were killed or committed suicide, a significant proportion of the local population.” – Wiki

                We went batshit over what, 2100 people in the WTC attack? Everyone seemed to have some tie to the buildings or someone in that city who was affected, likely indirectly.

                Imagine 14,000 US soldiers and Marines killed – in one fucking battle. That’s a small town wiped off the map – and another much larger town (65K) wounded.

                1. And people now think Truman should have blockaded Japan and just kinda…wait? How exactly does one blockade an entire fucking island chain – not just one island – in the middle of the Pacific fucking Ocean, by the way? No one ever quite addresses that uh, minor, seemingly salient point. And would there be no Japaneses submarines torpedoing our surface ships? They’d all just hang out and wait and starve, all peaceful like?

                  I mean no disrespect, but people who don’t understand war need to do some fucking studying about how it’s conducted before opining on national policy level decisions, like they were discussing Pujols’ declining home run totals.

                  Truman was faced with the likely losses of millions of US lives; Russia wasn’t going to send troops to help us in some wondrous joint amphibious operation to take Japan. We’d have the Aussies, the Brits, and some other smaller countries, but we’d be eating all of that to invade.

                  The alternative was trying to starve Japan to surrender; based upon the civilian reactions on Okinawa – committing suicide even when the military battle was clearly over – because they (Japanese civs) were told that the US would rape and torture the women and children, so better to die honorably.

                  Without all of that context, Truman’s decision cannot be properly judged. We’ve detached it entirely from its historical context in trying to “debate” about the merits of the atomic bombs. It’s complete fabulism.

            4. Not a fraction of those who would have starved to death if the 2 part invasion had gone forward in ’46 & ’47. Navy Air and US Air Force would have destroyed any thing that could haul cargo- like rice- out of the southern rice growing regions. Estimates of from 5-30 million deaths to subdue the home islands are credible.

      2. And Woodrow Wilson too…

        1. Wilson is at least somewhat known as a shitlord outside of the U.S. Canadian university history courses are not kind to him.

          1. Nor were US history courses… until FDR.

      3. President Obama will be ex-president for 40-50 years.

        Freed from electoral constraints, can we imagine how potentially insufferable he will be?

        At least for President Clinton, there was always in the back of his mind the political future of his wife.

        And the constraint that he actually did care about the Democratic Party.

        I am not so certain that President Obama cares about the party as much.

        1. 3 Words:

          Supreme
          Court
          Justice

          1. Unpossible. Since it is very, very unlikely he could be Chief, I would be shocked if he considered the job at all.

            1. Obama would not want a job that involved work. He’ll just rake in millions from speeches and sitting on boards.

          2. The trifecta? Who was the last to do that? Taft?

            Hmmm…

          3. UN Sec’y General- where he can torture us with his witless derpitude forever.

    2. Burundi’s President Pierre Nkurunziza agreed: You go, boy!

      1. You go, boy!

        Boy? BOY?

        RAAAAAAAAAAAACIST!

        1. “Boy” is racist. But not if you pronounce it “Baw-yee!”

          1. +1 oversized clock pendant

    3. Believe it or not, I heard a proggie whine about how it would have been nice to have Obama for a third term.

      I politely pointed out that he has killed 8x as many kids as Adam Lanza, and there was a deafening silence after that.

      1. Nice. Anytime you can shut them up is a win.

      2. Proggies love death deep down. So he probably just said to himself ‘good’ because Obama.

        1. Obama only kills ‘bad’ people, so it’s OK.

          1. Yeah man. You should have seen that black object the 6-year old was brandishing. It totally looked like an “assault” rifle from the drone camera.

      3. Well-done. And anytime you can make them confront an uncomfortable truth, if only briefly, it’s a good thing.

      4. Injun, that is getting filed away under the heading “Thanksgiving Dinner Retorts.”

        Thank you.

        1. Damn – I like that one a lot.

    4. Isn’t there some emanation or penumbra in the 14th to negate the 22nd?

      1. Something something equal protection of President-Americans something something

        1. As I said above, it’s racism: there’s only one president around who wants a third term, and he’s black, so: disparate impact!

  4. So I, for some reason, still subscribe to National Geographic. And this month they decided to go for a hagiography on Pope Francis.

    I love how they spend the first half of the article talking about how humble Francis is and then spend the rest of it carving him out as this towering, brilliant revolutionary. Classic personality cult (which they handwave in the article of course). Only time they get somewhat negative is when they note his stance on gay marriage and his appointment of a certain bishop.

    1. hagiography on Pope Francis

      That’s funny.

      1. Premature, not funny.

        1. Intentional too.

      2. What does Eddie think?

        On second thought, I’m not sure I want to know.

        1. Eddy thinks Francis, and the last several popes were illegitimate (as in not legitimately popes, not illegitimate in their birth). Can’t remember the exact reasoning, but it was pretty tinfoil.

          1. Why the hell does he defend Francis regularly then?

            1. Because he wears a very important costume.

            2. I’ve never read anything by Eddie that would suggest he’s a Sedevacantist

              *shrugs*

              1. He switched recently, I think. Commie Pope was the last straw.

              2. My recollection is that several weeks back he posted here about that. I’ve had bad luck trying to do google deep searches of this site.

                1. AHHHH. Now it explains why he lost his shit when I called him a papist. I hit a very, very sensitive nerve.

                  I am so glad I didn’t respond to it the way I originally planned. I was for sure going to bring up Commie Pope, as an opener. He might have shot up a thea-

                  – too early, still?

              3. Wow, word of the day. Thanks, HM.

          2. Eddie’s a sedevacantist?

            1. What uncanny timing you two have.

            2. Shut the fuck up, Donny!

            3. OMG, there’s a name for that shit? Should have known…

    2. The parents of a friend of mine are staunchly staunch Catholics. They love the Pope, all Popes knowing nothing about them other than that they are Popes. They have a picture of the Pope that stares at you while you poop. These people are also fabulously rich. They own many businesses, one of which is a gun factory. And when it became clear that Pope Francis is a closet marxist, they stood by him, thinking that “surely he hates other types of rich people, not pious and charitable ones like us.” Then the Pope came out and said that all gun manufacturers and sellers aren’t true Christians, i.e. they are going to hell. They’ve since stopped praising the Marxist in a funny hat but they don’t talk about him negatively either.

      1. I saw your comment in the AM links.

        /narrows gaze. Gives stern look.

        1. I knew you couldn’t stay away from a comment bashing Italian food.

          1. NEVER!

            /chokes on bruschetta.

      2. Thank you for this line: “They’ve since stopped praising the Marxist in a funny hat”

        Wonderfully done.

    3. Wouldn’t it be cool if he partied hard with Diego Maradona?

  5. How did DONALD TRUMP HATES WOMEN AND BABIES Not make it on here?

    1. It was understood that we, the Reason commentariat, was already aware that Donald Trump hates women and babies.

      1. but I didn’t see any of the Reason writers make a disclaimer that they find his comments distasteful…those women and baby hating monsters!

    2. awesome. AWESOME!

      You ever been deposed? I have. No breast pumpin’ goin’ on in my depositions, I’ll tell you that.

      #TRUMP2016 #BreastPumpInTheKitchenWhileURMakinMeASammich!

    3. Instead of campaign buttons, he can hand out Trump Pumps.

  6. The Minneapolis man who hunted and killed Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe closed his dental practice after online outrage yielded threats.

    I guess you could say his reputation…

    *puts on glasses*

    Is in decay.

    1. I guess he’s taking the accusations…

      *puts on glasses*

      …lion down.

      1. Bravo!

    2. I hope that wasn’t his

      *borrows glasses*

      mane source of pride.

      1. One pun per sentence, dammit.

    3. One can only hope…

      *puts on glasses*

      ..that the tooth will prevail.

      1. You can’t handle the tooth!

    4. It looks like he’s nailed…

      *puts on glasses*

      …his last pussy.

      1. Yeah, no one’s topping that

        1. [Narrows gaze at the lot of you.]

        2. Where is Swiss? Things have gotten out of control lately.

          1. Like the lion, he had to be restrained due to

            [dons own sunglasses]

            dental illness

            1. We really need to

              [dons newly purchased Ray-Bans]

              drill down to the root of the problem and figure out who is lion.

    5. Did he expect to be….

      *dons sun monocle*

      lionized?

      1. Tuft, tuft, now, B.P., I have it upon good authority that the dentist in question has resigned himself to whatever appropriate clauses of law apply to him and not only is he avoiding hiding from said clauses, he is willing to give up his lucrative business and scratch out a meager existence until he is exlionerated.

    6. Closing his office…

      *puts on sunglasses*

      feels like a Token gesture

  7. A spy may be among four buried leaders of colonial Jamestown identified by researchers.

    A Catholic stealing all the WASP secrets? They should have been able to pick him out because he was veeeeeeeery ethnic.

    1. That Guy had a lot of Gaul.

  8. Union dues not mandatory for state workers in Michigan.

    The Michigan Supreme Court ruled Wednesday that about 35,000 state employees can’t be subject to union fees.

    1. The knife just turned a little bit more.

      How much longer until government unions are essentially destroyed?

      I’m willing to wager 20 years.

      1. Except for police unions, which will exist forever.

        1. Did this decision cover cop unions?

      2. I wonder if I get a tax credit as the salary that was paying those dues has been coming out of my paycheck.

      3. Federal government unions are only allowed due to an executive order by JFK. President Walker could undo that in an instant.

    2. Libertarian Moment.

    1. Reminds me of the scene in The Simpsons when Homer’s head was caught in a drawbridge and the bridge operator asked Lisa, ‘you said to crush him, right’?!

    2. I say just plow right through them.

      +1 Rainbow Warrior

      1. Why would Jeff Gordon’s pit crew do that?

    3. That looks like a fun place to poop.

      1. I wonder if Sandi has been there.

    4. There really needs to be well-defined legal cases where you can just plow through a human obstruction or use whatever force is necessary to go about your business. It’s self-defense.

      Why is Greenpeace not treated like the criminal organisation it is?

      1. I believe Red China has done some good work on that front.

    5. Please tell me that this was an Occurrence at the Owl Creek Bridge.

  9. President Obama joked about being able to win a third term…

    He ain’t lying.

    1. or lion

  10. Hat-tip to Stalwart H&R Commenter Tonio, and yes the original post included Lynx.

    Tonio|7.29.15 @ 9:29AM|#

    New Archaeology Discovery at Jamestown Raises Questions: A reliquary (fancy box used to contain religious artifacts) was discovered at a burial in the Jamestown Colony. Jamestown was the first permanent English-speaking settlement in the New World. As a Crown Colony, Jamestown was officially protestant (Church of England). Reliquaries are very much a Catholic thing. Catholics were not popular in England at the time (bonus Catholic Oppreshunz(tm) pr0n for Eddie): “One leader at Jamestown had already been shot for being a Catholic.” [Virginian-Pilot article]

    1. Hat tip? We are all a bunch of immature vile commenters, remember?

    2. “One leader at Jamestown had already been shot for being a Catholic.”

      Well at least he wasn’t a lion.

    3. You have to be the worst to get a hat tip.

    4. You have to be the worst to get a hat tip.

    5. wait

      Wait

      WAIT

      W A I T

      WAIT — We can Hat Tip OURSELVES??????

      1. No, dude, it was bitterness. I’ve been here forever, srsly, and never gotten a h/t. But I’m also a senior staff-thrasher.

        1. But I’m also a senior staff-thrasher.

          Wait, are we not doing phrasing?

  11. Knife attack on cops in the UK

    In this, I’d say a shooting would be justified, but the cops disarmed and subdued him.

    Mostly I’m sharing this as a pretty stark reminder of the 21 foot rule.

    1. Don’t Brit cops not have guns?

      1. Ordinary Brit cops do not have guns, only cops in the Firearms Unit are so armed.

      2. At this rate, I’m guessing the military in the entire West will go to war without arms. They’ll just rush their enemies William Wallace style.

          1. We’re so fucked.

            But hey. At least we have free health care!

    2. I thought you were gonna link to this.

  12. Philadelphia-area Rep. Chaka Fattah (D) was indicted, along with four others, on multiple charges of public corruption.

    He didn’t share?

    1. I know I would if I had that much cold hard cash

  13. Philadelphia-area Rep. Chaka Fattah (D) was indicted, along with four others, on multiple charges of public corruption.

    RACIST!

  14. A University of Cincinnati police officer was indicted in the murder of Samuel Dubose, who he shot and killed during a traffic stop over a missing front license plate.

    Tensing must not have been well-liked in law enforcement circles.

  15. There is a certain symmetry between the rise of Trump and the reactive rise of Governor Bush.

    Trump is in essence “pushing” voters in the direction of Bush.

    Trump is the anti-establishment candidate, Bush the ultimate establishment candidate.

    Trump is anti-immigration (whether out of conviction or pure demagoguery), Bush is accommodating to immigrants (under some misguided notion that they would actually vote for him, but certainly out of conviction)

    For a certain set of Republican voters their idea is ‘We can’t let this horrible populist be the face of the party, let’s support the “safe” candidate”

    1. I think Bush’s rise will actually push people over to Trump. These polls are really just a proxy war for the growing schism in the GOP between establishment and anything-but-the-fucking-establishment-please-god.

      1. ^This. The GOP primary, for the last few elections at least, has been a proxy war between four interest groups, the Establishmentarians, the SoCons, the Populists(Tea Party), and the Conservatarians.

        In ’08 it was E-McCain, SC – Huckabeez, P- Fred Thompson, and C – Ron Paul.
        In ’12 it was E-Romney, SC – Santorum, P- Rick Perry, and C- Ron Paul

        The funny thing is that the SoCons never can get their candidate all the way, and end up supporting the Establishment candidate on electability grounds. Similarly, the Conservatarians never get their candidate and end up supporting the Populists on more principled position grounds. It devolves into Establishment v. Tea Party by the middle of the primary season, and it’s heading the same way this time around.

        In ’16 it’s
        E-Bush, Christie, Pataki, Graham, and Kasich
        SC-Santorum and Huckabeez
        P-Trump, Perry, Carson, Fiorina, Jindal, Rubio, and Walker
        C- Rand Paul and Ted Cruz (Cruz is partly between populist and conservatarian, as is Walker)

    2. Bush is accommodating to immigrants

      Wait, you’ve seen his honeymoon sex tape? I thought that was just a rumor!

      1. So that’s what he was talking about when he said immigration was an act of love.

  16. Salon interviewed Camille Paglia. Here is an actual interview question:

    “You mentioned Jon Stewart, who leaves the “Daily Show” in two weeks. There’s handwringing from folks who think that he elevated or even transcended snark, that he utilized irony very effectively during the Bush years. And that he did the work of critiquing and fact-checking Fox and others on the right who helped create this debased media culture? What’s your sense of his influence?”

    Salon. Flinging accusations of debased media culture.

    1. They would know about debasing the media culture.

    2. Salon is what happens when yellow journalism stops realizing its yellow journalism.

      1. Yours was better.

      2. Well, they’re companion pieces, really.

    3. Always loved Camille Paglia. I disagree with her on most issues. But she’s smart, funny, and isn’t afraid to point out the idiocy and hypocrisy on her side. If more Leftists (and Right-wingers) were like her the world would be a better place.

      1. I love that she refuses to be pigeon-holed. She doesn’t care what her Team is supposed to think, and has many interesting observations. I loved it back in the ’90s when she ripped “self-esteem” as the cure for black youth. She said something like “Are they kidding? The problem is that the average black male teen has too much self-esteem!”

        That said, it’s bizarre that she’s an O’Malley supporter.

        1. When I read that article, that’s exactly what I thought. She will say like 100 things that I agree with and/or think are deep and then point #101 is bizarre. What could she possible see in O’Malley’s naked torso?

  17. Camille Paglia is interviewed by Salon on the illiberalism of liberals.

    I think [Jon] Stewart’s show demonstrated the decline and vacuity of contemporary comedy. I cannot stand that smug, snarky, superior tone. I hated the fact that young people were getting their news through that filter of sophomoric snark. […] He’s certainly a highly successful T.V. personality, but I think he has debased political discourse. I find nothing incisive in his work.

    The resistance of liberals in the media to new ideas was enormous. Liberals think of themselves as very open-minded, but that’s simply not true! Liberalism has sadly become a knee-jerk ideology, with people barricaded in their comfortable little cells. They think that their views are the only rational ones, and everyone else is not only evil but financed by the Koch brothers. It’s so simplistic!

    1. Liberals haven’t been very liberal ever since they decided to create the welfare state to fend off the socialists.

      1. Hearing liberals defend their nomenclature is sad and funny. Liberals are about freedom, like freedom from responsibilities, freedom from difficult choices, freedom from having to save money or invest wisely or delay gratification. And having to buy their own birth control.

        1. But only for the protected classes! White and Asian males are left to fend for ourselves and be accountable for our actions (or lack thereof). And I’ve always paid for my own rubbers.

    2. I’ve got complaints about Paglia and her neo-Freud arguments (and her opinions on the new Star Wars movies) but she’s probably the most recent leftist academic I moderately respect.

      1. She is at the top of the intellectual punditry list, mostly because she does not play for a TEAM, which makes her unpredictable and interesting.

      2. Yeah, I doubt I would agree on much with her but I’ll give due respect to those who think for themselves.

    3. Simplistically speaking, I see little wrong in what she said!

      1. But later on, she sings her praises for Bernie Sanders.

        1. I would be surprised if it hasn’t been said here before but it bears repeating, Bernie Sanders, in commenting on the Kochspiracy ‘Operation Open Borders’, has thoroughly rejected the idea that he is an international socialist, he has flatly stated that he is a national socialist. You know who else was a national socialist?

  18. List in order of worst-ness: Trump, Minnesota Dentist, Cincinnati Cop Murderer?

    1. I would do a marry fuck kill thing here but that might invite a subpoena.

      1. I decided against that, because really who wouldn’t want to fuck Trump? *Swoons*

        1. You now need to add yourself to your list for that comment. Ahead of Trump.

          1. I am taking my man Almanian’s job here, but as our future overlord Mr. Trump would say “you’re a stupid person.”

            1. /Trump Voice on

              I appreciate your support, Crusty. I’ve known Crusty for a long time, and he’s always been a supporter of mine. He brings class to Reason, unlike all you losers. Thank you, Altoona!

              /Trump Voice off

              1. Thank you, sir; I am classy.

    2. Of course, none of them is worse than Nicole.

      1. ^^this

    3. You left out Planned Parenthood in your list.

      PS: I’m a pro-choice atheist who doesn’t want his pro-life Catholic neighbor to be mugged to subsidize PP against his conscience.

      1. THANK YOU. This is one of those things that people absolutely freak out about. If for nothing else, this probably is not a good use of taxpayer dollars. My girlfriend said “I just want women to have a safe place.” So much feelz, so little time.

        Also, PP gets half a billion federal dollars a year. AND THEN TURNS AROUND AND DONATES TO A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN

        That is so incredibly sickening.

        1. My girlfriend said “I just want women to have a safe place.” So much feelz, so little time.

          Yeah, that line of argumentation drives me up the wall.

          1. She’s free to donate as much as she wants to make that a reality.

        2. So much feelz, so little time.

          Fun moments in arguing with the girlfriend: I tried explaining that accidental pregnancy gives women near-complete control over a man’s future. She came back with “If you can’t afford the condom…” We then began the dance of death while I tried spelling out why that applies, or should apply, equally well to women. Shouting ensued.

          That was a terrific evening.

          1. As much as women condemn double-standards they have no problem when they work in their favor. There’s no point in arguing because you’ll never win.

          2. It bugs the living hell out of me that, as reasonable as some women can be on every single other issue, they have almost all bought totally wholesale into every aspect of the women’s rights… I’ll say it. Nonsense.

            1. +1

              It’s mind boggling. I know a woman who sees through just about all lefty political BS. She particularly dislikes Obamacare and gun control. Yet, the other night, I had to try and explain to her why a federal program to give all women an unlimited supply of free tampons is not a workable idea.

              1. Oh, please, Kurosawa –

                For the number of women who support the (social) welfare state there are an equal number of men who support the (warfare) welfare state. Because ‘Murka, fuck ya.

                Try explaining why we should spend less on “national defense” to the average man.

                1. I hadn’t refreshed in awhile. Not trying to get the last word here.

                  Defense spending is actually a constitutionally chartered (and legitimate) function of government, although it’s waaayyyyyy bigger than it should be.

                  Women’s rights issues are many and largely indefensible:

                  rape culture – debunked continuously on this site, as well as common sense (and the few reasonable feminist scholars left; Paglia for one)

                  reproductive rights – the very point of Injun’s comment is that these are not state issues and should not be forced (via Obamacare et al.) on anyone who does not consent

                  wage gap – can be torn apart easily via basic, high school economics

                  extra special welfare for single mothers, when the state practically guarantees the existence of single mothers through modern family law

                  the list goes on…

          3. Hope you have a comfy couch:)

            1. She moved out this past weekend, actually. Unrelated. Now I have a whole comfy bed 😀

              1. Win:)

        3. My girlfriend said “I just want women to have a safe place.”

          Run.

          I don’t care how good the sex is.

          Run.

          1. RUN LOLA RUN:

            http://bit.ly/1DPS5qE

            Not sure if Ted got my last two German film references!

            1. Ja, Rufus, ich habe Dich verstanden.

          2. Two words:
            SEX ROBOTS

  19. BRUTAL. If only there was a viable alternative besides Team Red.

    The Coming (And Hilarious) Democrat Implosion

    The delightful scene at Netroots where Martin O’Malley was forced to do penance before a jeering crowd of washed-out undergrads for the sin of saying “All lives matter” was a harbinger of the future. The Democrats are on the verge of being sucked into their own vortex of progressive insanity that will bar them from any chance to reach out of their psychotic echo chamber to normal Americans. It serves them right.

    Of course, while she started out thinking the whole XX chromosome thing was going to win it all for her, the freak show that is her base decided to go off-script and force the Democrat candidates to pretend that the activists aren’t all stark raving mad. That’s why Hillary is simultaneously trying to suck-up to the activist community you’d think a Democrat would have nailed down while also keeping the hell away so no one can jump on stage with her and ask her terrifying questions like, “So, do white lives matter?”

    1. Yes, if she wants to keep ahold of her base and any chance of winning, Her Highness is going to have to try to decipher the ever-changing cryptography of leftist priorities. Do black lives matter more than brown ones? How about if someone has a limp ? is that worth a couple extra points on the oppression scale? And what about LGBTQ lives ? how much do they matter with respect to Pacific-Islanders lives? And is the acronym “LGBTQ” even enough, or is she unforgivably forgetting several more letters representing other oppressed classes of esoteric gender identity contortionists and exotic sexual practitioners?

      And that whole War on Women thing is going to fall a little flat now that Hillary’s allies got caught on tape swilling cabernet and giggling about their war crimes. Despite what those in her little circle of abortionophilics think, normal people are disgusted and appalled at the thought of a tax parasite organization supplementing its government subsidies by dismembering babies and auctioning off the chunks.

      1. How about if someone has a limp ?

        Wrist?

      2. It’s interesting how the different civil wars left and right are playing out. All the media keep talking about how the GOP is tearing apart, because the players there are obvious and open. In the Dem camp, the fight with new speak until no one can understand anybody.

      3. Mmm, I need to pick up some Cabernet.

      4. Most revolutions end up devouring themselves.

    2. That Netroots scene really was a delight to listen to. If you haven’t caught it already I highly recommend it.

      1. At this point it’s safe to assume that white guilt is officially dead.

    3. The Black Lives Matter limpout at Netroots didn’t have anything to do with progressives eating themselves. Those people are financed by Soros, and with Hillary not there, I suspect that this is his way of signaling his support of Clinton over Sanders or O’Malley.

      If the BLM crowd does the same thing at a Hillary speech, I’ll retract my speculation.

      1. It’s already happened to Hillary:

        http://www.npr.org/sections/it…..ves-matter

        Doubt Bernie will make the same mistake.

  20. All right, Pan isn’t here today, so I guess I’ll kick off with the man flesh, someone else can follow up with a lady…for balance, of course.

    Figured I’d skew ‘murrican today.

    Oguchi Onyewu , 6’4″ soccer player.

    And one from the ESPN Body Issue (obviously the less SFW option)

    1. 6’4″ is a little tall for me…but one can always make exceptions…

      1. With or without whatever you’d call an all-around muttonchop?

        1. He does tend to have less than ideal facial hair, but it’s a good picture of him clearly smiling so I went with it anyway.

    2. Gooch is good looking dude (and that isn’t even my thing). It’s just unfortunate that he sucks so bad at his profession.

  21. George Gilder: Net Neutrality Is a ‘Ludicrous’ Idea That Will Shrink the Economy

    Self evident. Support for net neutrality is one of the best ‘naive moron’ litmus tests available today.

  22. The best part of the lion murder story is all the gym bros who think they are like lions going full retard.

    1. And now I just noticed it’s an official link.

      To be fair to myself, I got no sleep last night and I’ve had no coffee today.

  23. That innocent lion, it would have NEVER killed anything, ever. Unlike white people, you know, who kill everything. Before WHITE people, nothing was ever killed, by anything, ever. Before WHITE people, the world was a utopian paradise. Lions and lambs sleeping together, cats and dogs, best friends, all the peaceful tribes of the earth barefoot with flowers in their hair, helping each other, and loaning each other some sugar.

    Fucking whitey came along and ruined everything.

    1. +all of the Poe’s law

    2. Damn white kids with your innovative social institutions and technological advancements, get off my lawn!

    3. And we were free to gambol…

    4. I really was set to hate the guy for what I assumed was knowingly poaching a tiger. Now I’m comfortable letting the facts sift out. If he paid for a legitimate permit and the hunt was done legally, whatever. Conservation efforts should include legal hunts.

        1. A TIGER?!? IN AFRI…never mind.

    5. I always thought vegans with cats were weird (moral vegans who believe it’s wrong to eat meat). Why the hell should my cats get to eat meat but I can’t?!

      Hippy: “We taught a lion to eat tofu!”
      Sickly Lion: *coughs*

      1. Back in the ’70s, at the height of “pyramid power,” I read of someone claiming they had put their cat in a pyramid for a while, and when they let it out it became a vegetarian.

  24. “Philadelphia-area Rep. Chaka Fattah (D) was indicted, along with four others, on multiple charges of public corruption.”

    I feel for her.

    1. I believe “him” based on the picture in the earlier H&R article about this.

    2. Does this mean she’s getting a promotion?

      1. No but maybe a his/her own bathroom based on the gender confusion.

    1. Brilliant Rope-A-Dope strategy!

    2. Can the IRS audit federal judges?

      #JustAnInnocentQuestion

      1. Yes.

        Everyone has knives at each other’s throat. That’s why the system of checks an balances eventually devolves to everyone looking the other way with the understanding that if they do so their own transgressions will not be formally noticed by others.

    3. Judge Sullivan is one of the most thoughtful, honest, and ballsy guys on the bench. He was the judge who shut down the DoD’s Anthrax Vaccine Program – issued an injunction against it until the FDA and DoD finally figured out how to get around- er, comply with his order.

      Should have known he would be the guy. That is good news for the citizenry. He doesn’t fuck around.

      If someone is smart they’ll maneuver to get him on the Clinton emails.

  25. From John Tamny at Forbes: Austin And The State Of Texas Mock The Anti-Immigration Crowd

    conservatives think they have an answer. They say that immigrants come to the U.S. to take advantage of generous social services. In making such an argument they ignore how foreign inflows declined after 2008 amid slow economic growth stateside, not to mention that Mexican workers who are legal to move back and forth between the U.S. and Mexico don’t put much of a burden on social services simply because they leave their children and elderly relatives at home.

    They also ignore the statistic cited by Riley. If handouts were truly the endgame for legal and illegal immigrants, would they really migrate to Texas in such large numbers? Texas is known for many things, but certainly not generous handouts.

    The problem for Coulter and certain conservatives is that the level of investment is what defines wages and pay, and as evidenced by the popularity of Texas among investors, those who actually create jobs love immigrants (domestic and foreign) of all skill sets. Sorry, but it’s true. Investors create all the jobs.

    If you think that immigrants ‘take away jobs’, you don’t understand how the economy works you need to STFU and not vote.

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/jo…..ion-crowd/

    1. They have a legitimate point about wanting the border secured, and then took that legitimate point with its accessibility and popular appeal and twisted it into a case against illegals and immigrants and immigration.

      1. What is the border being secured against? A joint Canada-Mexico invasion force? There is no serious threat on the border! America’s threats are the kind that need to be drone-bombed, not ‘fenced out’ as if that were even possible.

    2. ” If handouts were truly the endgame for legal and illegal immigrants, would they really migrate to Texas in such large numbers? Texas is known for many things, but certainly not generous handouts.”

      Texas is also known for sharing a border with Mexico.

      1. And a lot of the handouts are from the Federal Government which hands out benefits to people in Texas too.

      2. As are several other states, which also get fedgov monies. Also, pretty sure undocumented workers don’t limit themselves to states bordering Mexico.

        1. No, but a massive percentage of them live in California, New Mexico, and Texas. I don’t think that’s coincidental.

          Oh, and there are lots of Cubans in southern Florida. I have a feeling that might have to do with the proximity to Cuba as well.

          1. No you drunken fool. Cubans migrate to Florida because of no state income tax and the jai lai.

        2. You’re right; there’s no correlation between Mexican immigrants and proximity to Mexico.

          1. Oh there is but it is insufficient to explain why so many are in Texas.

  26. Big Brother is Watching You Squat

    In the District of Columbia, where this legislation has already been passed, the Board of Physical Therapy is in charge of developing the “Standards of Practice” document.

    Physical Therapy is concerned with the rehabilitation of injured or disabled people, and their approach is based on rehab. Very soon in DC, Physical Therapists will be in charge of all exercise prescription.

    Those of us who have had experience with Physical Therapists must immediately ask what government-approved and Physical Therapy-administered training and exercise in DC will be composed of ? and perhaps most importantly, what it will not be composed of.

    Occupational licensure must be a profitable racket.

    1. Oops, forgot the money quote.

      There are bad doctors, lawyers, and interior decorators, and there always will be, licensed or certified. But with the State’s imprimatur, many people stop thinking and begin trusting.

      1. many people stop thinking and begin trusting.

        That’s pretty funny coming from T-Nation…

        1. What are you talking about? My PLAZMA, MAG-10, and Velocity Diet stack is making me super huge and jacked, brah.

          1. Do those supplements help with the ladies?

            1. He has quaaludes for that.

              1. +1 Jell-O? Pudding Pop

              2. Warty is in South Africa?

              3. Most forums become pretty ridiculous, but I remember the lifting ones veering into the “really funny advice about everything” territory often.

                1. It’s because there’s not much to the hobby. You can only tell someone to work hard for a long period of time so many times without getting bored.

          2. I can’t take you seriously if you aren’t taking Indigo-3G.

      2. “‘Smith!’ screamed the shrewish voice from the telescreen. ‘6079 Smith W.! Yes, you! Bend lower, please! You can do better than that. You’re not trying. Lower, please! That’s better, comrade. Now stand at ease, the whole squad, and watch me.”

  27. Hacking a smart rifle.

    TrackingPoint makes an expensive smart rifle that easily lets novices hit targets a half mile away. It lets you digitally “tag” a target, then locks the trigger until the gun is perfectly positioned to nail it. And it connects to smartphones or tablets so a buddy can view what the shooter sees in the scope.

    Now, two security researchers have discovered software flaws in the computerized rifle. Anyone near enough for a Wi-Fi connection to a rifle can remotely tinker with controls.

    In the worst case, a hacker could force a police sniper to miss while shooting directly at a hostage-taking criminal — and hit the hostage instead. Or a hacker could simply lock the rifle’s controls, rendering it useless.

    There’s a major point worth noting, though: A hacker can’t make the rifle shoot on its own. The barrel can’t be forced to move in a different direction. But the bullet can.

    1. See! Guns really do kill people!

    2. Cool stuff. It changes the ballistics calibration to make the computer’s adjustments go way off target.

      Thankfully they’re working with the manufacturer to fix things.

  28. In other murderous police officer news, NY has decided to keep the grand jury proceedings in the Eric Garner case secret. http://www.nyclu.org/files/rel……29.15.pdf (PDF warning)

  29. Interest rate hike coming?

    Dear Americans,

    A rate hike could be here in 6 weeks.

    Regards,

    Janet Yellen and company.

    That’s the Federal Reserve’s main message Wednesday. America’s first interest rate hike in almost a decade could come on September 17 when the Fed holds its next meeting. It’s being dubbed a “liftoff” moment, since interest rates are currently close to 0%.

    I’ll believe it when I see it.

    1. It’s ok with an orange slice.

        1. I don’t get the Blue Moon hate. It has to be the least offensive beer ever. It’s not pisswater like the domestic macros. It’s not extreme like the craft Quadruple IPA!!!!!!!!s, and it has a hint of citrus.

      1. The only time I have fruit in beer is when the beer is brewed with it.

        Blue Moon is good.

  30. British guy does a man-on-the-street social experiment and approaches 100 women and asks for their number. He gets 5 numbers.

    Later he does the same experiment but asks 100 men for their number. He gets 13.

    *sells worldly goods, moves to London*

    1. I can lend you a pen and pad of paper, seeing as how you sold all your worldly goods.

      Good luck, jesse!

    2. You may want to take that dentist with you.

      1. HIYO!!!

      2. Our screeching environmentalist lunatics mostly keep their screeching environmentalist lunacy to the internet. Their screeching environmentalist lunatics take the screeching environmentalist lunacy shtick public.

    3. I suggest you visit and pretend to be living among the limeytards first. Limeytards, jesse, let that sink in a bit…

      1. I like limeytards. I thought this was a known thing. I’ll overlook a ton of personal flaws for most (but not all) British accents.

        1. Lots of hot British wiminz. That’s the only thing that I like about them. Besides their ex-sarcastic humor. I loved that. Now they’re so PC that it’s sickening.

          1. Lots of hot British wiminz

            Page 3 is full of ’em.

    4. Yeah, but you’re not British

      1. Jesse can just watch Chitty Chitty Bang Bang a few times to pick up a good English accent.

        1. Not Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins? I am disappoint.

          1. If that is the one where he had a bad cockney’d accent, yes.

            1. I’m 80% sure that this is the interview I saw of him describing how that accent came to be.

              Skip to 1:56 or so where he starts talking about the accent. “The guy who taught me was an Irishman.”

    5. I hope for your sake that British men look better than British women.

    6. Someone should do this experiment but with cat-calling. I bet the guy gets better odds than that, and I hate cat-calling. But there has to be a reason for it.

      1. A cat? Kinky! But – live and let fuck cats, I always say.

        /unclear on the concept

        1. For cats you just need an electric can opener

          1. I just tap the food bowl with my foot. Cheetahs run slower than my roommate’s cat when she thinks food is available.

      1. Don’t rain on my parade, HM!

        Speaking of rain and the UK…

        The Guardian: Your underwhelming UK holiday photographs

        The photos and descriptions are priceless, a taste:

        “Our friend Andy was visiting from Minneapolis. After a boozy do on Saturday night, we thought the perfect way to blow off the cobwebs would be a trip to the beach at West Porlock, near Minehead, for a dip in the sea. It was 14C, windy, and raining, and apparently the term “beach” was misleading…”

        1. “My parents love a bad holiday. We have just left them in their tiny hired caravan (free leaky awning thrown in) in a field in Angmering, West Sussex, in the pouring rain.

          “They have Scrabble, Uno and a built in car radio/cassette player to keep them busy for the week.”

          I would murder her without six hours.

  31. Just got this in my email box from Change.org:

    Justice for Cecil the iconic collared lion slaughtered by trophy hunter in Zimbabwe!

    Over 72 000 signatures.

    Jesus people have lost their minds.

    1. Why the fuck would you torture yourself with email from change.org?

      1. Too lazy to unsubscribe.

        Plus it’s my way of keeping my eye on the derp.

    2. W- (do I even want to know?) what was the “justice”? Is this like an eye-for-an-eye thing (or tooth-for-a-tooth in this case)? Are they calling for him to be shot with a crossbow and decapitated?

      Someone please fill me in. I’m not going to change.org to find out.

      1. According to change.org they talk about vague ‘justice’ for the ‘murder’ of the lion, and equally vague laws making it illegal to ship big game trophies to the States.

        1. Oh it’s poster justice. Not like actually anything real. Should’ve seen that one coming.

          1. This is a serious issue. It’s time to break out a new hashtag on Twitter.

      2. #internetslacktivismforcecil

  32. I’ve posted this before but it is such gold that it needs repeated application. Harry Binswinger is a gentleman and a scholar.

    Sorry Libertarian Anarchists, Capitalism Requires Government

    The wielding of force is not a business function. In fact, force is outside the realm of economics

    Ask yourself what it means to have a “competition” in governmental services. It’s a “competition” in wielding force, a “competition” in subjugating others, a “competition” in making people obey commands. That’s not “competition,” it’s violent conflict. On a large scale, it’s war.

    Money quote: The anarchists object to the very idea of a monopoly on force. That only shows that they cannot grasp what force is. Force is monopoly. To use force is to attempt to monopolize. The cop or the gunman says: “We’ll do it my way, not your way?or else.” There is no such thing as force that allows dissenters to go their own way.

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/ha…..ernment-2/

    1. That’s actually something I’d never considered and is a really strong argument.

      Let me try this again. ((clears throat))

      One might even say

      *puts on own glasses this time*

      forceful.

    2. By that logic the Germans didn’t use force against Russia because the Germans lost.

      And if a robber shoots a cop the robber didn’t use force since the cop had a monopoly on force.

      And if a homeowner shoots a serial murderer who broke into his house, he should go to jail since the cops have a total monopoly on the use of force.

      That’s a retarded definition.

      1. And I broadly agree with him on the point that you need some minimal amount of government since I’m not an anarchist. I just don’t know where the fuck he gets these definitions from.

        Reading further, I think his overall point is the right one. This part I wholeheartedly agree with:

        “Governments are necessary?because we need to be secure from force initiated by criminals, terrorists, and foreign invaders.

        The genius of the American system is that it limited government, reining it in by a Constitution, with checks and balances and the provision that no law can be passed unless it is “necessary and proper” to the government’s sole purpose: to protect individual rights?to protect them against their violation by physical force.”

        1. I would add to his list that we need to be secure from air and auditory pollution.

        2. And I broadly agree with him on the point that you need some minimal amount of government since I’m not an anarchist. I just don’t know where the fuck he gets these definitions from.

          Because Harry Binswanger is an associate of the Cult of St. Rand. He’s mashing up Weberian arguments with Objectivist fundamentalism and they’re not sticking together.

          1. “Blah blah cult blah blah fundamentalism” is a really wordy derpy way of admitting you can’t actually lay a finger on his arguments.

            1. Binswanger has no idea what he’s talking about because all he can do is verbally spew up Rand quotes that have very little to do with the subject and simply show how ignorant Rand was of the subject. Binswanger, and you, are utter historical illiterates if you know nothing about how force has been a legitimate market product since the beginning of warfare due to the simple existence of basic logistics and mercenary armies.

              And, I point this out because Binswanger represents a great deal of Objectivists who offer up a pathetic devotion to everything Ayn Rand said, rather than actually arguing well they try to throw out her quotes like they can’t be unchallenged. Like say, narcissists who just declare their victory over the thread in a pathetic show of egoism.

              1. If you think that ‘simple logistics’ and ‘mercenary armies’ prove that you can have a legitimate market in force then you don’t understand what markets are or how force works. Thanks for proving Binswanger’s point.

                1. The wielding of force is not a business function. In fact, force is outside the realm of economics. Economics concerns production and trade, not destruction and seizure.

                  Anyone with a basic understand of history and economics understands that yes, destruction and seizure factor into economic outcomes and ‘the wielding of force’ can easily serve a ‘business function’. Spain alone pumped itself full of wealth by seizuring the precious metals of the New World. It created wealth for itself by taking from others (and then proceded to spend it poorly, of course). Force was never outside the realm of economics, it played a massive influence on it throughout history. Binswanger, and you, of course, seem to be completely historically illiterate when it came to the existence of a great deal of ‘markets of force’ in pre-nation state Europe.

                  You have to literally ignore all of human history to proclaim the force is some magical thing entirely separate from economics.

                  Again, you don’t actually address points, you just proclaim your argument superior and ignore any point against it. And you’re not part of a cult, right.

                  1. I think you’re putting in too much work on this, John, and worse, trying to play on the field that Binswanger/Rand set up.

                    It’s very simple: there is a market for protection, retrieval of goods and conflict resolution services. Where there is demand, there is the potential for a market. It’s not about there being a market or economics of “force.”

      2. You need to re-read the article, this time with your eyeballs open and your brain on.

        1. My brain is on. The problem is that he disagrees with his own definition.

          He says ‘force is monopoly’ and then says ‘force is an ATTEMPT to monopolize.’ But these are mutually exclusive definitions. Something can’t simultaneously be a monopoly and an attempt to monopolize, that would be like saying ‘I am a professional baseball player’ and then saying ‘I am attempting to become a professional baseball player.’ They mean two different things.

          1. Okay…fine…that seems a pretty picayune in the context of his arguments. If you change it so that he just says ‘force is a monopoly’ then it doesn’t really make a difference to his points.

      3. To use force is to attempt to monopolize.

        I think that’s really what he was saying. Use of force is automatically an attempt to gain a monopoly of it. Germany did want an absolute monopoly of force. The cop and robber are trying to obtain a monopoly of force. This stands in contrast to, say, buying a loaf of bread. Not every economic decision (I’d argue practically none of them by sheer volume) is aimed at monopoly, but every use of force is an attempt to be the only one/team left with the capacity to use force.

        1. every use of force is an attempt to be the only one/team left with the capacity to use force.

          I can agree with that in very limited fashions, but it seems to not scale very well. Just because I shoot a trespasser doesn’t mean that I’m gunning for the cop who responds to my phone call.

          I thought this was the whole point of anarchists… having varying entities who employ force means that no single entity is going to be the sole enforcer. IOW, you always have an outlet if you feel like you’re being oppressed. If ABC Police Corp. treats you like shit because you’re black, you can hire XYZ Police Corp. to tell ABC to fuck off.

          /Minarchist attempting to make anarchist arguments despite not thinking very much about it.

      4. I don’t think that is really applicable, Irish. Though there is the question of how there can be “no competition,” when in fact there is plenty of competition in protecting life and property and bringing criminals to justice. His lame response that the government licenses security guards or requires people to prove self-defense in a trial is simply wrong.

        “Force cannot create value” and there cannot be a market in “force,” yet security guards create value and the market for their services seems to function well enough. Ditto private arbitration courts, if we want to go there.

        1. Security guards create value in part because the government has created the conditions for the markets they work in to exist.

          1. So, without the government, security guards would be worthless? I’m not seeing it.

            1. No but they wouldn’t operate in a market. Government is vital to creating the conditions for a market to exist. Dispute resolution without resorting to gunplay.

              1. Government is vital to creating the conditions for a market to exist.

                I think that markets always exists, with or without the intrusion of government.

                1. Stable government means that your security force won’t just help itself to the contents of the register and take over the store. The entire history of feudalism is basically of attempts to corral a group of independent security forces into following the king’s laws and refraining from cattle and slave raids on their neighbors. Somebody is always going to have a local monopoly on violence, and it takes more than ad hoc security arrangements to prevent some significant fraction of them from running amok.

              2. Government is vital to creating the conditions for a market to exist.

                Why? Is it because “the wielding of force is not a business function”?

      1. Piercing counterpoint.

        1. Writing a rebuttal to a diehard Objectivist is as pointless as writing one to a diehard Rothbardian. They just refer back to their founding documents and their own terminology, and go about arguing in circles. Any response to this guy would be met with, “But you can’t have a market in force.”

          1. Well…you can’t. The only reason arguing against Objectivism is a bad idea is because Objectivism is correct.

            1. The only reason arguing against Objectivism is a bad idea is because Objectivism is correct.

              Deterministic obsession with the One True Faith. Not a cult at all.

      2. Ohhhh yeah, I remember this article. This guy’s an Objectivist, right? He is just restating Rand’s weak argument, which was addressed 40 years ago.

        1. I once asked Ayn Rand about the feasibility of such treaties between sovereign “competing governments.” She looked at me grimly and said, “You mean like at the U.N.?”

          Seriously, I love the fact that Objectivists don’t realize Objectivism is a cult. When the brilliant Binswanger wants to make a substantial argument, he has to appeal to the authority of his holy figure, Ayn Rand, Peace Be Upon Her. And of course, if the Great Rand said something, you don’t need to further argue your point, her statement is enough to soundly defeat arguments that have nothing to do with what she said.

          1. You’d think it would be a red flag when you proofread your essay and realize you’re just quoting Ayn Rand over and over. And not once quoting one of the anarcho-capitalists you’re ostensibly addressing.

          2. I love the fact that Rand’s argument is so weak that all you can do is shout about CULTS. Cults that only exist in your head by the way.

            And of course, if the Great Rand said something, you don’t need to further argue your point, her statement is enough to soundly defeat arguments that have nothing to do with what she said.

            Stop reading Peikoff.

            1. I love the fact that Rand’s argument is so weak that all you can do is shout about CULTS.

              Ummm…yeah. Rand’s argument is terrible, barely fit to call a strawman, but he holds it up like it’s some brilliant analysis. And he only does that because Objectivists elevate Rand to a revered status.

              Stop reading Peikoff.

              Stop reading Rand’s chosen Holy Successor? Cytotoxic is promoting heresy! You’ll never get into the Collective again! They’ll blacklist your name right next to Rothbard’s!

              1. Rand’s argument is terrible, barely fit to call a strawman,

                No it isn’t. You can’t lay a finger on it.

                Stop reading Rand’s chosen Holy Successor? Cytotoxic is promoting heresy! You’ll never get into the Collective again! They’ll blacklist your name right next to Rothbard’s!

                Ugh you’re getting into the ugly internal politics of the Oist movement. There are lots of Oists who want nothing to do with Pope Peikoff.

                1. No it isn’t. You can’t lay a finger on it.

                  Um, yes I can. First of all, Rand is moronic enough to pretend that the U.N. was actually a system designed for sovereignty ‘competing governments’ and not for an expansion of the post-war Allies political and economic influence. It was founded by ruling sovereign states in an attempt to justify their actions over the sovereignty of others. That has nothing to do with the actual arguments of anarcho-capitalists, its a cheap distraction tactic based on Rand’s own ignorance of the subject. But, because Binswanger is preaching to the Objectivist choir, his arguments/quotes from Rand are apparently brilliant.

                  Ugh you’re getting into the ugly internal politics of the Oist movement. There are lots of Oists who want nothing to do with Pope Peikoff.

                  Great, pull an Anabaptist and reduce your group to a series of weirdo micro-cults that argue about stupid bullshit like whether Mozart’s music is collectivist.

        2. It may have been ‘addressed’ but it was never defeated.

          1. Yet Binswanger doesn’t bother to address any of these responses. He just regurgitates Rand’s argument. Because how could it be improved; it even has an Atlas Shrugged character supporting it!

            What’s funny is that he does seem to know of “The Market for Liberty,” the anarcho-capitalist book written by two Objectivists. But he doesn’t bother responding to any of its arguments for anarchism from a Randian starting point.

    3. When I hear anarchists talk about abolishing govt, it reminds me of when I hear hippies talk about abolishing money. There is a reason govt and money exist.

      1. Yeah, the biggest issue with anarchy is its untenable state. Power abhors a vacuum. You will have a power structure one way or another.

        1. Power abhors a vacuum. You will have a power structure one way or another.

          Put another way, liberty lives in a little sliver of a sweet spot where government is big enough to crowd out the “might makes right” bad actors, but is still small enough to not be one of those bad actors.

          Liberty is an unstable equilibrium.

          1. But the world is getting freer.

            1. Citation needed. There may be certain portions of the world heading in a generally freedom-loving direction, and there may be certain aspects of freedom that are becoming more widely accepted, but I have a hard time believing that we’re approaching libertopia in any meaningful sense.

    4. No, the use of force is not necessarily a monopoly, and things can be better when that is the case. Ask the NRA to explain it to you.

  33. Spot the Not: they just kept going

    1. As of 2013, this 105 year old truck driver was still working.

    2. As of 2014, this 105 year old has been receiving a pension for 41 years.

    3. As of 2013, this 105 year old was Facebook’s oldest user and California’s oldest driver.

    4. As of 2013, this 105 year old was still working. He retired in 1975, but got bored and got a new job the next year.

    5. As of 2011, this 100 year old doctor was still making house calls. He worked full time until the age of 96.

    6. As of 2014, this 100 year old was still teaching English and coaching wrestling.

    1. Will guess #1.

      #2 is tempting because there may be a limit to how long you get your pension.

      1. I want to say that #2 is a Japanese guy.

        1. No Japanese people in the list. Here is an article about the Japanese equivalent of rubber rooms for people who refuse to leave their employers:

          I feel like most of my jobs have been sitting in the Boredom Room.

    2. #1. Unless it’s a dirty trick and he’s working as something other than a truck driver. Then I’m going with #6.

    3. 6. No teacher I ever knew would work when they could get paid for not working.

    4. 6 is the Not. Here is the tale of the 105 year old truck driver:

      http://www.nydailynews.com/new…..-1.1364065

  34. The Minneapolis man who hunted and killed Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe closed his dental practice after online outrage yielded threats.

    So long dental plan!

  35. Researchers identify flaws in Tor:

    http://www.sciencedaily.com/re…..142028.htm

    Beyond my understanding. Are they on to something here?

    1. HORNET is better anyways.

      http://www.techtimes.com/artic…..an-tor.htm

    2. Sounds like they have a solution figured out. My take is that it’s like any other security precaution. If someones wants to target you they will. The best thing you can do is to make yourself a hard target as opposed to an easy one thereby reducing your risk. The more precautions you take, the better your odds.

      1. TOR is sort of like using a standard door lock. Won’t keep everything out but it makes intrusion harder and mass data collection impossible.

    3. They specifically have attacks against hidden services.

      Seems pretty solid. Side channel attack lets you use things not covered by cryptography (so message length, timing, power consumption) to spot what people are doing. It’s the biggest source of security bugs in properly designed cryptosystems (because it’s really hard to anticipate).

      In this case they’re looking at the pattern in packet size and timing to determine what a channel going through their machine doing.

      Because there’s a lot of packets, and you can distinguish normal web browsing from hidden service communication, you can use that usage pattern to determine which hidden service the channel is connecting to (it helps that there’s relatively few hidden services out there, so you can establish a pattern).

      If you’re the first node in the circuit, you know who the end user’s IP address is.
      If you’re the last node in the circuit, you know what the hidden service’s IP address is.

      Both are pretty bad. Both are fixable somewhat easily.

  36. Much in the manner of Peter Mulvey, who managed to go from great singer/songwriter to cliche meister by scoring a big hit on a crowdsourced song about the Confederate flag, I am going to do the same for poor Cecil. Look for it on YouTube.

    Cecil was a happy lion
    wandering the veldt
    hunting little creatures
    in the jungle where he dwelt.

    Walter tired of drilling teeth
    in his Minnesota town
    So he flew all the way to Africa
    to shoot poor Cecil down.

    Oh Cecil, noble Cecil
    your roar forever stilled
    when a dentist with a rifle
    paid some cash to have you killed.

    Cecil roamed the game preserve
    safe from the hunters’ gun.
    Until the brute Republican
    killed him just for fun.

    Walter sought the trophy that
    was made from a lion’s head
    He had no idea that his dental practice
    would soon wind up as dead.

    Oh Cecil, noble Cecil
    your roar forever stilled
    when a dentist with a rifle
    paid some cash to have you killed.

    The cruelty of Republicans
    you reliably can trust
    will carry halfway ’round the world
    slaking their bloodlust.

    Oh Cecil, noble Cecil
    your roar forever stilled
    when a dentist with a rifle
    paid some cash to have you killed.

    The progs will eat this shit up if I sing it sincerely enough.

    1. There was a Pearls Before Swine cartoon where rat had the idea of being a right wing Bob Dylan:

      ? How many times must a dollar be taxed, before I can call it my own?

    2. Needs more Koch

      1. Koch rhymes with crotch or Koch rhymes sounds like coke?

        1. It’s pronounced coke like the drink.

          1. Ed Koch has a sad.

      2. Damn, you’re right. I’ll work on it. And give you a h/t.

        1. Nice:)

          1. Hey, I’m not like one of those fucking ungrateful Reason staffers.

  37. While America has been…convulsed/entertained/flummoxed by Trump, the British Labour party is potentially going to choose a hard left Leader in MP Jeremy Corbin.

    Conservatives might believe that this helps their party, as then Labour would become unelectable.

    No major party in a Westminster system is ever “unelectable”. We could be one major economic downturn away from a Prime Minister Corbin.

    And even if this more orthodox socialist Labour party is not a threat to government, there would be the natural inclination of the Tories to move left to pick up those social democratic voters who would feel ill at ease in Corbyn-Labour.

    Also Canada might be on the verge of electing a full fledged socialist government in the Autumn (unlike perhaps the half-fledged or quarter-fledged Liberals and Tories)

    1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jeremy_Corbyn

      Corbyn is a self-described socialist and anti-poverty campaigner. He has campaigned strongly against tuition fees in England, the creation of academies and private finance initiative schemes. He supports the renationalisation of railways, the introduction of a living wage, a higher rate of income tax for the wealthiest in society, and an increase in corporation tax to fund public services such as free higher education.

      Also wants to nationalize energy companies and is a trade unionist. Labour’s libertarian moment is upon us!

  38. Because as one can justify anything, what exactly is the libertarian case for a New Democratic Party victory in the Canadian national election (either majority government or minority propped up by the Liberals)?

    1. They’ve shit on the Tories’ crime and parts of their anti-terrorism bills I guess?

      1. The BC Liberals are the conservative option in British Columbia.

        Could the national Liberals become the relatively more centrist option to the ruling socialist party?

        (assuming a Conservative implosion along the lines of Alberta, and those Liberals of a democratic mien simply move to the NDP

        1. I would assume no if Trudeau is still in charge. I assume if either the Liberals or NDP get into power now they’re both going to do some government expansion to ‘undo the damage the Tories did’. But I think they’re both unwilling to expand too much. If by some miracle Trudeau fell out of favour and they replaced him with, I don’t know, Martha Hall Findlay, they might go central or slightly right economically. The Liberals admittedly have had a very vague message over the past couple years.

          1. MHF is awesome she is our best bet.

            Mulcair’s path is not clear. His way to government got a lot more difficult with the return of Gilles Duceppe to provincial politics. He’s back!

            1. MHF is awesome she is our best bet.

              Tallest midget I guess.

              https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martha_Hall_Findlay

              Her two key issues in the race were the environment and health care. She believed that the Kyoto climate change protocol was worth pursuing and favoured private health care, but from a universal, single-tier and publicly funded system.

        2. A lot of the provincial liberal parties are surprisingly, well, Liberal. Truly Liberal, in a classical sense.

          Mulcair is strong right now because Trudeau is a joke and Harper is an idiot for not stepping down for a replacement a year or so ago. Oliver is more electable than he is.

    2. “what exactly is the libertarian case for a New Democratic Party victory in the Canadian national election “

      while I have no freaking idea whatsoever,

      I do think its notable that we’ve probably got a dozen Canucks floating around here, and at least 2-3 aussies, but for the life of me i can’t recall a single UK Reason commenter over the last 10 years.

      To be fair – their local political issues go entirely unaddressed here (although there’s often commentary by H*R/the mag on UK speech laws, culture-war politics, economic-freedom issues, etc)….but still. notable.

      1. There’s one UK guy that I know of. His handle has something to do with medicine…can’t remember off the top of my head.

        1. Speaking of H&R Canuckistanis, whatever happened to Archduke von Pantsfan? He change his handle or something?

        2. Medical Physics guy? That makes sense. He offers 2 pence from time to time.

          re: Pantsfan

          couldn’t tell you. though i suspect his handle has been woodchipped

          1. Medical Physics guy

            Yup, that’s him.

    3. They are against C-51 and the anti-prostitution bills.

  39. I just wanted to come and gloat a bit. I just today got permanently banned from the TTRPG forum I (used to) frequent for not being 100% in agreement with the inclusion of homosexuals and transgenders in all things. I had the temerity to say that I preferred my fantasy gaming to not include real-world social bullshit. And also, when I’m running a game, I tend to discourage people from bringing their grievances to the table as they would just be met with apathy.

    So, feelin’ pretty good about myself for fighting the good fight. Even though all of my posts on the subject got deleted. Then the thread got locked and hidden by the moderator.

    1. Was the thread then stashed in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door that says “beware of the leopard”?

      1. There may have been reference to a hovercraft full of eels, but I don’t know about leopards.

    2. Why SJWs hate GamerGate so much. It’s really the only group that has ever opposed them. Most of them are left-leaning, which further causes the SJW head to explode

      1. It’s the only group that opposed them and won on mass appeal.

      2. Try going to Steam forums and posing as an SJW. You’ll face the woodchipper.

  40. I’m listening to KEXP Seattle right now at work. The DJ is doing an entire set of lion-themed songs in honor of Cecil the lion.

    Jesus.

    1. We’re all Cecil now…

      1. Wait a minute, this just in… Muslims are offended by Cecil, all outrage has been called off!

        1. Was Cecil drawing pictures of Mohammad? ‘Cause if he was, I might have to rethink my position on this.

          1. He was, and not only that, he was a Republican and a white supremicist lion.

            1. I just assumed all lions were republican white supremist

                1. Can’t get no justice, under da system

              1. Gatos… gatos, man, they all evil…

    2. Well since you’re a masocist

      http://genius.com/Bjork-lionsong-lyrics

    3. That’s what you get for listening to KEXP. There’s a reason I love my satellite radio.

      1. I’m headed to Seattle next week so I thought I’d get a little local. Whoops.

        1. Well, you have to learn somewhere.

    4. “The DJ is doing an entire set of lion-themed songs in honor of Cecil the lion.”

      Can you post the setlist?

      Because I want to see how far he can stretch that one.

      I’ll take a wild guess that Mad Lion‘s “Shoot to Kill” isn’t in rotation.

      1. Oh, that’s so offensive, those white teabaggers threatening with their guns…. uh, ok, didn’t you see that post about how the british teabagger redneck was threatening the cops with a knife and how he killed them all because they feared for their safety and didn’t have guns and …. Ok, I need a break here, you redneck baggers and your agression has me confused.

      2. I would however give the DJ points if he tried to go with, “You can’t hide your lion eyes” by The Eagles.

        1. So many missed opportunities = Dentist of Death

      3. Or this.

        I remember when that song came out and I, as a teenager, determined that hair metal was officially dead if this is what it had become. Man, late 80s music was terrible.

        1. Yeah, it sucked. Got them laid which was all they were doing it for anyways.

        2. I beg to differ! New Order, OMD, The Mighty Lemon Drops, Game Theory, The Wild Swans, The Railway Children, The Psychedelic Furs, Erasure, Wire Train….

          1. The bass player from the psychedelic furs used to drink at a bar i frequented. We got to be on a first name basis, though i don’t remember what it was. he was a serious drunk, and I was only just getting started. He respected the fact that i didn’t know any of their songs.

            1. GILMORE – Did you ever frequent Hogs and Heffers? in the meat packing district? I
              bartended there in ’98-’99? Cut off a few ties in my time.

              1. Oh. My. God.

                No, it was not my scene back then. that place (like…what was it called… the 80s themed party-bar) was always packed to the gills with people that made me physically uncomfortable. Dot-com-hopeful people from New Jersey or something.

                During the late 90s I was in bands and spent almost all my time on avenue A and the LES. Max Fish was sort of ground zero, but I drank in 2A a lot, played gigs at Luna Lounge, Lakeside, Parkside, Brownies, Nightengales, etc. i was probably a proto-hipster, so you can understand why “hogs” was not my kind of place

                I did used to go to the meat-packing district to … uh, APT, downstairs, when I wanted to impress girls. Which means like twice.

                1. Oh, I see. You were way cooler than me.

                  I married one of those ties and retired to the burbs as a beautiful but eventually rich cowgirl.

                  Hehe.

                  1. Congratulations. Also, I was never really cool. I just hung out places cool people did.

            2. Must be Tim Butler.

              1. That’s the guy.

                Also, is the star on the shirt like a band symbol? because he @#()$*@ wore that all the time. Maybe he just (like me) had like only 3-4 t-shirts he liked.

                1. Now that you mention it, a lot of Furs albums and singles included five-pointed stars.

            3. The bassist for The Strokes (who I don’t like at all) worked at the video store across the street from my apartment. It’s always weird seeing pictures of the band and seeing quiet Nik from the video store in them.

              1. The video store in Williamsburg (Reel Life) was also a place that everyone cool in the neighborhood work at (like the people from TV on the Radio, who also worked across the street at the Verb cafe). I used to go in there and just talk to the employees and see where there was a party going on somewhere or just to shoot the shit. That was when the neighborhood actually felt like one, and you’d see people you knew everywhere you went, and it wasn’t quite so screamingly oversold. Like 2000-2006.

        3. Season three of The Americans reminded me how fun this song is.

          1. I believe this song is also in season three (sadly the video, which showcases all of the dance moves I need to learn, is not in the show).

    5. Shot through the heart and your to blame.

      1. You give authoritah a bad name…

    6. Hey Man, Nice Shot.

    7. It appears the lion-themed set was limited to the following =

      “Bob Marley and The Wailers
      Iron Lion Zion

      The Felice Brothers
      Lion

      Constantines
      Young Lions

      Duke Evers
      Lions

      Ex Cops
      You Are a Lion, I Am a Lamb

      Of Monsters and Men
      King and Lionheart

      First Aid Kit
      The Lion’s Roar

      Iron & Wine
      Lion’s Mane

      Yeah Yeah Yeahs
      Gold Lion

      Four Tet
      Lion

      1. No Bungle In The Jungle?

        1. Or Bungalow Bill?

      2. I’m guessing that “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” would have been too morbid?

        1. ^^ This. Man after my own heart, HM.

        2. I thought that immediately, but the whole “lion sleeps tonight” sounds like he’s mocking the fucker

          You’d think maybe he’d have gone with “Hunter“, but instead there was stuff that involved wheedling beardos

        1. You know, if i’d been more aware of this BG’s tune when i was in a band, we totally would have done a very amped-up version of it.

          We did a hardcore “tears of a clown” as well as “red rubber ball“. This is sort of similar in how it could be translated into a hard-rocking tune without a lot of effort.

          In fact the original sounds very much like something the chemical brothers could remix without breaking a sweat.

  41. Warty, a while back you posted a link to “Secrets of the Viking Sword”. I’m finally getting to watch it. It’s pretty cool. Thanks!

      1. From secret sword to turning into giant pussies and asking for our burqua sizes.

        /The swedes

      2. I saw that documentary. That blacksmith does classes I believe in Wisconsin. I’ve always wanted to do something like that.

        1. One regret I’ve had is not signing up for the Student Apprentice program at a folk festival held near where I grew up. You could sign up and get a couple of days worth of all-day instruction in a trade during the festival from a local craftsman, and if the craftsman liked you, he might take you on as a full-blown apprentice. I remember the cooper interested me most, but others interested me as well, like the blacksmith. I don’t remember why I never signed up for it, but looking back on it, I should have.

          1. Yeah, maybe one of these days I’ll look into doing a blacksmith course just for fun. Would love to go from gathering the ore to making steel. I think that would be pretty cool. I have too many interest and not enough time:)

            1. I have too many interest and not enough time:)

              Same here.

    1. Cool, right?

      1. Yeah. That sword looked damn good at the end.

  42. Botard’s not here.

  43. Botard’s not here, man.

  44. I’ll take a shot at the lion bullshit and be warned this will be long. First off, 2 days or so ago, nobody knew this lion fucking existed. Much like the Confederate flag, 2 months ago is able to be tolerated, no magically it can’t be.

    Secondly, anyone who is supporting what is happening to this man is an unprincipled fuck. I couldn’t even escape this shit while listening to ESPN radio. The host was asked his position on hunting and he gave a stuttering, impromptu answer because he had never considered it. His position boiled down to, If it’s not endangered and you eat it, then it’s cool. That’s a very safe position to take and probably the majority. However, there are many people out there that would like to do to him what is being done to the dentist over what he said. The host though supports the dentist having his life ruined and even suggested that the dentist kill himself. I imagine though, the host would like someone to come to his rescue if the majority opinion ever turns on him and assuming he sticks to his guns and stands by his statement.

    1. Thirdly, the same fucks making a big deal about this are the same fucks that rail against Eurocentrism and thinking Euro-morality is greater than every other morality. Well guess what fuck faces, what the man did is legal and he was permitted to do so by the Zimbabwean gov’t. Now that the brown people have done something these progressive fucks don’t like, they are being ripped apart.

      In conclusion, fuck off all unprincipled fucks that want to destroy someone’s life because they disagree with their actions. May the same shit happen to you and your family tenfold.

    2. Maybe when we reach the point were everyone’s skeletons are out there for the world to see which seems to be where we’re headed, people will be less inclined to invite attention to themselves by throwing stones at everyone else. Or maybe not.

      1. No, people will still do it. Diversity and multiculturalism means nothing more than having different colored people doing all of the same shit. The fuckwads let the mask slip all the time and the only people that call them out on it are their enemies. No one on their team will ever reconsider their position and say, “Man, this all seems like bullshit.”

        People have shown time and time again that they are willing to lie, distort evidence, talk straight out of their ass, and it doesn’t matter. People will believe what they want to believe and right now it’s, “Do what the majority tells you or you will have your life destroyed.”

        Where is anyone’s Holy Book given to them straight from God that definitively states that what this man did was wrong?

        1. I think this particular case is type of the iceberg as far as the animal rights goes. Years ago they used go out in the woods and harass hunters. It never really found much traction back then but I think it will make a comeback. How long will it be before that extends past hunters to meat eaters? Couple of decades? Or will the pendulum swing back the other way?

          1. It’s whatever the younger generation considers progressive and hip. That’s always been the case. Whatever their wee little emotions tell them is what they will do and I believe it will turn into outright hostility against meat. Right now though, I think it’s over 90% of people still eat meat so it has a ways to go. Though just like everything else it’s 50/50 on hunting because people think Bambi is a documentary or something.

            This idea and argument of sentinence is also complete bullshit at the moment. Most of the reasons they give for not killing animals could also be applied to plants. I also question how many of them go shit outside after eating a berry as the plant intended you to do. That poor plant went through millions of years of evolution, pumped untold nutrients into its berries, and even made it a pretty color and pumped it full of sugar all to have you shit its seeds down the toilet.

            That’s fucking harsh man.

      2. Hah. No. That David Brin is full of shit, man.

  45. “The Minneapolis man who hunted and killed Cecil the Lion in Zimbabwe closed his dental practice after online outrage yielded threats.”

    Gazelles should start online outrage campaign against defamation of the dentist.

  46. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-avakrRUaU

    I forgot how hilarious this video is. It’s some moronic bimbo who used to edit Gawker getting torn apart by Jimmy Kimmel over her piece of shit website. She is just the worst, although Crusty would.

    1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q49uEi0Q5ok

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      Here’s another video of the same girl talking about the same subject with an interviewer.

      Skip forward to 2:05 in order to get the dumbest back and forth of all time.

      Interviewer: Have you always had this compulsion to tell people so much information about yourself?

      Emily Gould: I don’t think that’s a word, compulsion. My old boss Cory used to call those people ‘divulgey.’

      Interview: Well, I don’t think that’s a word, ‘divulgey?’

      1. That man took the same exact tone with Gould that I took when having conversations with my daughter several years ago concerning her opinions on the unicorns and winged ponies living in Rainbowcloudland.

        1. Best part is when they’re talking about her amazingly shitty New York Times Magazine article (don’t look it up – not worth it) and he mentions off-hand that it was 7900 words long and the same week they published an article on missile defense that was 5000 words long.

          That’s such a cold way of sticking the knife in. I approve of the interviewer’s style.

          1. Ouch

            It feels like abuse. because she doesn’t seem to have considered that people who write for a living actually feel that you need to have subject matter more significant than whining about your personal issues.

      2. I just cannot get past the bad hair cut. WTF? How much does a decent stylist cost is D.C? GET A FUCKING DECENT HAIR CUT, bitch.

        1. “I always kept a diary, starting when I was 8 or 9 or so.”

          Oh, Jesus, fuck me. Why not tell us about your love of horses and wild creatures of the forest.

        2. One of my favorite parts is at 20:15 (yes, I’m still watching – she is hilarious) when Emily Gould says ‘Clearly I was being retarded’ on an otherwise staid and calm interview show.

          She is like the Platonic ideal of a Millennial narcissist.

          1. Yeah, I would definitely need earplugs.

        3. How much does a decent stylist cost is D.C?

          Much, much more than in either LA or NYC.

    2. Just watch that bitch’s body language the whole time. What a fucking joke.

    3. Irish,

      This is the New York times piece with her called “Reinventing Emily Gould.” You see, she may have made a few mistakes, but now we have to pretend she is awesome.

      I love how a newspaper like the Times did this sort of story.

      1. Goddammit:

        “The experience sent her into a funk. “I was jealous,” she said. “Every woman around my age who hopes to create something is jealous of Lena Dunham.””

        UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH

        1. Her life also appears to royally suck.

          “”I wish I could say after all that public shaming, at least I have my beautiful shoes, my beautiful apartment,” said Ms. Gould, who lives in the sluggishly gentrifying Bedford-Stuyvesant section of Brooklyn, in a building next to a bar called One Last Shag. “But at that point I didn’t have anything; I had less than anything,” having earned, as she lamented in an online article earlier this year, a total of $7,000 in 2011, the year she embarked on her novel.”

          She made $7,000 a year at the age of 29?

          1. I hate you for linking this stupid interview which I can’t stop listening to.

            1. It’s impossibly entertaining. She is so dense I’m surprised light can escape her gravitation.

              1. It’s the narcissism that kills me.

                “Who is public and private anymore? That’s what I’m straining to figure out.”

                SHE SAID THIS. IN ENGLISH. WITH NO SENSE OF IRONY.

                1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zeasXLzIIfE

                  There’s another video she did recently with the same interviewer because she wrote, and I’m not making this up, a novel called Friendship.

                  This is just as brilliant and you should thank me for my service. Unfortunately, she has matured a little, so now she’s at about the maturity level of a normal 25 year old, although she’s 33 so that’s not much of a compliment.

                  Contains the line “We call the business Emily Books. The URL was available so I was just like ‘go for it.’ My name has certain resonances.”

                  1. To be clear, I definitely would as she is exactly my type.

                  2. I have one criticism for this woman encapsulated in one word: bangs, consider bangs. That forehead isn’t covering itself.

                    1. https://youtu.be/zeasXLzIIfE?t=14m13s

                      I have helpfully included a link to the section of the interview where they discuss that she ends the book with two emojis.

                      Goes like this:

                      Interviewer: It’s the first time in the course of the book that Bev and Amy communicate that way. Is that the way you communicate?

                      Emily: Sometimes words don’t convey what you need them to convey. Sometimes sending someone a heart is the only possible response.

                      Interviewer: Have emoticons become the language of your generation?

                      Emily: I think I’m maybe a little old for this style of communication but I’m really into it.

                      Really, Emily? No way! You’re engaged in behavior that’s immature for a woman your age? I never would have thought that of you.

                  3. The way that her generation (and is she more gen Y at 33 than millenial?) seems to believe in the “power” of the internet reminds me of the guys at Pets.com before the internet crash.

                    Sooner or later you gotta show your work, and someone has to pay you for it if you want to eat and have a roof over your head. Maybe she’s “made” it and if so good for her, but it’s so epically vapid from an intellectual standpoint, especially since she thinks it’s so much deeper than A FUCKING ONLINE DIARY.

    1. Oops.

      I’m not surprised. ISIS was duking it out with the Kurds and Turkey doesn’t like the Kurds. Combine that with the US government’s lack of competence, and well, I can see a raid turning up stuff like this evidence.

      1. Do we like the Kurds? PKK used to be listed as a terrorist organization by US State Department. But I don’t hear much about that anymore.

        Wikipedia says some other Western countries still list them as terrorists, but its hard to keep up with the branding.

        1. The Kurds were our alleys in Iraq. Turkeys big problem with them is that they fear that if the large Kurdish population in Iraq ever gets together with their Kurdish population they may try and breakaway and form an independent state. Same ole story.

          1. allies

          2. Yes, the Kurds were US allies in Iraq.

          3. Were they? I get that they had nowhere to turn and were useful to keep order in the north while Saddam was in power, and afterwards, but as you mentioned, my understanding was, Kurds really want their own state. US wasn’t going to let that happen because Turkey would object.

            Basically, Turkey is a NATO ally and PKK is/was a terrorist organization. If US had to choose, it would seem weird to me if US picked Kurds for an ally over Turkey. Though Kurds are popular in the media, won’t deny that.

            1. Turkey is a NATO ally that is becoming progressively more Islamized, has provided material aid to American enemies, couldn’t be trusted not to stab us in the back if we ever actually need them, etc.

              They’re the worst alleged ally we could possibly have, with the exception of our continuing alliance with the Saudis.

              1. Maybe. The point I’m getting at is, if Turkey really engages in Syria to ‘fight ISIS’ (and it looks like they might) they will go after Kurds first, and after ISIS second.

                US will have to pick between saving the Kurds or pleasing Turks and staying out. My bet is, US will sacrifice the Kurds, but I could be wrong.

    2. It is fucking infuriating that we (usa) will once again betray our allies (the Kurds) for the ‘greater good’. Fuck the greater good.

      1. The Kurds have nothing to offer that the U.S. gov’t is interested in. Of course it would be a principled stance to take to support the Kurds but fuck principles right. We also championed the Armenians and let the Turks conquer Armenia and continue their massacre.

        America has a long history of letting the Turks fuck people over that we are supposed to be protecting.

        1. You want to know what the Kurds have to offer us? Assurances to other future allies that we won’t abandon them to be murdered.

          Mark Steyn talks about this all the time – it’s rapidly becoming more dangerous to be an American ally than an enemy since we’ll gleefully abandon our allies to die the moment we get tired of a particular war.

          1. Yeah, I pity the Afghans that trusted us. They really fucked up when they did that.

              1. Sometimes I think the biggest problem we have in this country is “good intentions”

        2. The only real commitments we have is to the Jew, the Brit, the Japanese, and the Kurds. Everyone else can protect themselves or should be able to protect themselves.

          1. And I question the Brits thing because, let’s face it, fuck them.

            1. I question the fact that the entire European continent basically exists beneath an American military umbrella when every one of those countries is capable of raising an army to protect themselves.

              When the French wanted to go intervene in Mali after a bunch of Jihadists went to that country following our moronic decision to topple Qaddafi, they actually had to borrow planes from the British because the French didn’t have enough planes to transport their troops.

              1. Britain and France were talking about sharing an aircraft carrier. I found a few older articles saying the deal wasn’t going to happen, but nothing newer.

        3. We could barely be bothered with lifting a finger to help the Hmong, who actually did fight side-by-side with us during the Vietnam War.

          1. Stop bitching. We gave them frogtown. We could have given them North Minneapolis.

    3. Old news. There was evidence of turkish direct support for ISIS (money, intelligence, treating wounded people in Turkish hospitals, bombing Kurds instead of ISIS, etc.) last summer, last fall, and as recently as the last few months

      They’ve cut back on direct support to ISIS in Syria, and support allied attacks against them there, but have themselves doubled down on attacks on Kurdish positions in Iraq and eastern Turkey, as recently as today

      “Turkish warplanes bombarded Kurdish militants in northern Iraq Wednesday, hours after President Recep Tayyip Erdogan said it was impossible to continue peace efforts with the Kurds…

      Turkey last week launched attacks on militant targets across its border into Syria after a suicide attack in Turkey killed 32 people and a car bomb killed two Turkish soldiers. Ankara also agreed for the first time to let the U.S. and NATO use the Incirlik air base for airstrikes on the extremists, sharply cutting the distance for American fighter jets that had been traveling from Iraqi air fields for attacks on Islamic State targets in northern Syria.”

  47. 9 PM Eastern and the PM links are still top. Slow night.

    1. Seems like if they paced their articles they wouldn’t have to keep reposting so many of them later.

      1. Not bad. I was reminded of the Jerky Boys.

      2. “I’m calling fucking Avis, right?”

        And this is why Western Civilization if doomed.

        1. Oi u are 1 fucking cheeky kunt m8 i swer i am goin 2 wreck u i swear on me mums life and i no u are scared lil bitch gettin your m8 to send me messages saying Western Civilization is doomed lol fuckin sad m8 really sad jus shows what a scared lil kunt u are and whats all this crap ur m8 sendin me about sum libertarian website that 1 of your faverite places to look at men u lil fuckin nobhead fone me if u got da balls cheeky prick see if u can step up lil queer say that shite to me face and not online and we’ll see what happens. i swer 2 christ I’ll hook you in the gabba. you better shut your mouth or im calling me krewrite now preparin for a proper rumble. tha rumble thatll make your nan sore jus hearin bout it. yer in proper mess ya nobhead christ i am so sick of people talkin shite and I herd u talkin shite behind me back like a proper wanker stop that shite com over and fite me so i kan bash ur fookin hed in bruv and u betta not be havin a laff you cheeky kunt

          1. +1 Classic.

          2. wait what? fucking shit is lightning lizards…. shit… broself. what?
            what the FUCK? fucking fansttasticolus!

  48. Hey guys, why do teenage white girls always travel in odd numbers?

    Because they literally can’t even.

    1. Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      (I have already stolen it)

    2. (millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and then were suddenly silenced)

      1. So, Hogs and Heifers, then?

        1. If it came down to it, I preferred Rudy’s. Less of a meat-market, tho there were still free hotdogs.

  49. 547 and no Bo? No AC?
    Whiskey tango foxtrot?
    So, anyone know how to reduce the image density on Fuji digital cameras?

      1. AJB, that’s where I started months agot (RTFM) and I’m sure it’s in there somewhere, but searching under every subject I could think of yielded nothing.
        I’m afraid it’s filed under some Janglish term.

        1. Sorry, that’s “Japlish”.

  50. Did you hear about the farmer who won the pickle growing contest?

    It was a big dill.

  51. How did Darth Vader know what he was getting for Christmas?

    He felt his presents.

  52. How do you titillate an ocelot? Oscillate its tit a lot.

  53. Somebody . . . somebody, please tell me what the feth is wrong with people?

    http://kotaku.com/rip-microsof…..1720973007

    http://www.pcgamer.com/windows…..emove-ads/

    1. ummm. Other than 80 year old widows, who the fuck is playing solitaire on Windows?

  54. “Two Zimbabwean men, a farm owner and a professional hunter who are accused of helping Dr. Palmer, appeared in court on Wednesday on poaching charges. Zimbabwean officials said Dr. Palmer was also being sought on poaching charges.”

    OK, one useful shortcut I use when I don’t know every exact detail of a case, is this: If the government of fucking Zimbabwe is prosecuting you, then I think better of you, not worse.

    This is the same Zimbabwean government which ruins its currency, steals land, persecutes critics, winks at murder, and in general serves as a template for any 3rd world hellhole regime.

    Now the burden is on them, if they want to persuade me that *just this one time* they’ve done the right thing.

    I mean, we know how much these Zimbabwean government fuckfaces care about the sanctity of life.

  55. What’s the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bathtub?

    1. The nun in church has hope in her soul.

    2. Since the nun in church prefers priest cocks in her ass the nun in the bathtub prefers cunt tongues in her ass I wager the difference between all the startled parties would be that a nun in church wears chinese menufactured cloth and a nun in the bath wears nude jew ninjas? Jesus semen dripping from ol Mary’s vagina after Josephus fucked her behind joseph’s carpenter shop was analyzed for nun jokes and yielded awkward patterns thereafter and nuns that enjoy bathing were discovered to enjoy donning the naked bodies of creeping ninjas that were kosher.

      1. You know who else was cunnilingual?

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOIM1_xOSro

        1. Jesus…those comments. Chomsky fanboys are the worst. Even if you agree with his political views, you don’t have to pretend the man walks on water. Not to mention he is flat out wrong concerning the existence of the LAD.

          1. What the fuck broalien jesus,? your shit above fucked my asshole with fucking letter lasers and my cock cam a brick of that nasty awesome shit women hate to lick unless they are handed a fat check or 22 years of marriage and even then they FUCKING COMPLAIN.

            JESUS FUCKING GODDAMN CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!!

            My cock juice tastes like beer.. ok… I get it baby but guess what ? YOUR fucking vagina tastes like motherfucking PUSSY and guess what baby ?when you push you ASS in my motherfucking face I’m eating a POOP pussy sandwich and I love IT!!!!!!!!!!

            But my cum is too strong”? fuck you NO cock is as strong as a pussy suck next to her wizard asshole… yummmmmmmmmmmm

            1. I hear you brother. Though, you have to admit that a properly washed and clean vagina has a San Fransisco sourdough type tanginess that semen doesn’t.

              Or so I’ve been told.

  56. A friend in bio-tech tells me it’s easy to make a hormone –
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    Don’t pay her.

    1. Hehehe.*However, I disapprove of calling streetmeat “whores”.

      1. Personally, I didn’t think it was worth more than a hehehe, either.
        But you can tell it in mixed company at a restaurant and get some ‘titters’…

  57. Interesting fact: Leap Day is technically not February 29, but February 25. Sorta. At least was officially, I think. Rather complicated:

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julian_calendar

    1. Also: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julius_Caesar


      Plutarch claimed that the army had fought against three million men during the Gallic Wars, of whom one million died, and another million were enslaved. The Romans subjugated 300 tribes and destroyed 800 cities.

      Time to ban leap day and rename July (and August) for being an official government commemoration of slave-owing racist imperialist dictator.

      1. I say we change the name of August to “Leo” to honor Cecil the lion.

        1. This Cecil knows how to handle a lion:
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmzjubEGIi4

  58. Why did Edison invent the lightbulb? He got tired of combing wax out of his hair every time he had an idea.

    1. Edison invented the fucking lightbulb because he grew wearisome of massaging his dick to candles, Q dash.

      Edison understood that Mrs. Edison hated sucking his cock and she would only fuck him on Jesus’s birthday and Thanksgiving. And Edison needed light to grope his monster pelvic javelin with greases and lights… and so light for all civilization was created because a monster pelvic javelin slatherd with greases looks far massive under Edison lights than shitty candles.

  59. Q: I had a professor in school who went on and on about how well the AK-47 was designed. He stressed that as designers we should be able to appreciate an object’s design on a purely aesthetic level. Do you agree?

    A: Fuck no. Fuck him. Fuck the AK-47. Fuck all guns and the people who design them, but especially fuck Mikhail Kalashnikov, the designer of the AK-47.

    Discuss.

    1. Oppenheimer was on the side of the prof WRT the fusion weapons.

      1. So, somewhere, Oppenheimer is furiously attempting to stuff a genie back into a bottle, into perpetuity, Sisyphus with a split-atom chip on his shoulder.

        Whoa – I had an Agile Cyborg moment there…

        1. You Know Who Else had an Agile Cyborg Moment?

    2. AK-47 is a brilliant design, a masterpiece of function AND form. Fuck people who say fuck Kalashnikov! He may be a commie, Rooskie bastard – but he’s OUR commie, Rooskie bastard!

      1. Going to have to disagree. The AK-47 design has two good points: it’s cheap and easy to make (you can literally make an AK-47 receiver out of a shovel), and it’s fairly rugged. That’s it.

        Its ergonomics are shit, its accuracy is shit, its ballistics are shit, and its ugly as sin.

        1. agreed. but from the POV of an engineer and designer, you’d have to accept that it has some very compelling case to be made as far as utility, durability, etc.

          if you read the piece that was linked to, its something of a bowel-cleansing exercise about how designing “bad-doing things” means “bad design”. which is absurd. The samurai sword is nothing but a killing instrument, and its an engineering marvel

          1. I read part of it. I couldn’t get past the first paragraph, though. That level of stupid should hurt.

            However, the point remains that the design of the AK-47 really isn’t that brilliant. Most of it’s notoriety is due to the fact that it was spread far and wide by the USSR; as far as design goes, it isn’t really all that special. Kalashnikov basically stole the best features of the M1 Garand and the StG-44 and combined them. It was an evolutionary design; there was nothing revolutionary or new about the rifle.

            1. yep. but then the Ipod was also nothing new in terms of a lot of its characteristics. the only detail it added was the “wheel” and …well i guess nothing else. at 3X the price.

    3. That is one of the dumbest human beings I have ever seen in my life.

    4. Somewhere, sometime there’s a guy or women in desperate need of defending his/her home and family who is worshiping the name of Kalashnikov.

      1. It’s such a petulant left-wing view of the world, totally divorced from reality. Designing a gun is neither good or bad. In particular, lets say Americans and Brits had said ‘oh, we’re not going to design guns or weapons because those are bad’ before WWII. What exactly would we have done then?

        His entire worldview in which designing guns is innately bad is predicated on the privileged position in which he has lived his entire miserable, useless life, i.e. as a middle class American white person. If you’re a Soviet whose country is being invaded in 1943, I don’t think you see Soviet gun designers as evil people given that they’re literally helping you kill Nazis. Kalashnikov actually decided to design a gun because he heard Soviet soldiers complaining about how bad their weapons were. If AK-47s had been manufactured before the end of the war, tens of thousands of Soviet citizens might have survived due to Kalashnikov’s design.

        The only way this fucktarded vision of the world makes any sense is if there are no bad people on the planet. If there are no bad people anywhere on Earth, then yes, the first person to design a weapon and go out and use it has brought evil into the world. However, in a world where there are bad people, designing a weapon for use against such people is not evil and only a myopic idiot could think otherwise.

        1. Well, yes. Context is everything. Literally, everything.

  60. aliens exist in these dungeons bro…
    the dudes over the years tap codes
    and if you follow the numbers
    you can find hidden aliens in their
    alphabets, man.

    1. I need to be quiet and listen to these alphabets to learn about them.

      Happy Wednesday, Agile Cyborg!

      1. Happy lovingston, Sir Almanian.

        1. *toasts Agile*

  61. Nothing posted after 4:30, are those cocktail parties that great?

  62. Damn libertarian curfew!

  63. If I could meet and party with any of the commentariat….well, I’d enjoy meeting everyone except the trolls. And Anal Vanneman.

    But otherwise.

    Thinking about this cause HOW FUN WOULD IT BE TO MEET AND PARTY WITH AGILE CYBORG??! Stupendously fun. Stupendously.

    Sa da tay on my cappy town. I got to say the nay no, my daimee.

    /Pootie Tang

    1. Thinking about this cause HOW FUN WOULD IT BE TO MEET AND PARTY WITH AGILE CYBORG??! Stupendously fun. Stupendously.

      He, Coke Ennyday, Gertrude Michael and Cab Calloway should be Reason’s official mascots instead of Lobster girl.

      1. Brother Winston, partying with me is a serious fucking business and while I would procure Winston like a god. I really don’t party like anyone you party with. I party so hardcore that Mr. winston might wake up with four condoms in his massive dick because so many coked up girls wanted to fuck Mr. winston that they lost track of Mr. Winstons condoms and you will wake up naked and loved. You never lose anything but gallons of jizz partying with me, Mr. Winston. your credit card is safe- your morality is not.

    2. I’d choose the woman, but that’s me.

      1. Woman? What woman?

        #TIWTANLW

        1. There is one woman, and because she spends time here she is assuredly cool, therefore I would like to hang with her over everyone, even AC. Even you. Even, you know…

          1. crusty the juggler, knows his drug.

          2. Dude. Ask her already. A cup of coffee at a nice Starbucks or something.

            Get on that immediately. She’s a nice women.

  64. So what happened with the Lafayatte shooting? Was he not Tea Party enough or did he only kill some rednecks?

    1. Trigger, please!

      #BLACKlivesmatter

  65. Shouldn’y Lafayette be purged from existence? He was a one-percenter who provided armed support to a gang of treasonous slave-owners. And he killed a bunch of unarmed protesters on the Champ de Mars?

  66. a forest of brains
    fingers flinging
    a cloud aimless
    feet founder
    trees uncertain
    the moon icy
    the sun hidden
    the threads of
    friends…
    incalculable

    1. Who’s more coherent? Agile Cyborg or modern poetry?

      1. Oh, Agile. I understand him.

        1. He’s the Libertarian shibboleth.

          1. You’re cut off, Winston. You’re slurring your words.

            1. You’re slurring your words.

              I thought that was the requirement?

            2. Q dash is a swervy tunnel into deep q galaxy.

              1. Q was just a ripoff of Trelane anyway. In turn he was a ripoff of Charlie Evans who was a ripoff of Gary Mitchell…

            3. Q dash is a swervy tunnel into deep q galaxy.

              1. Indeed, I am exactly that.

  67. seriously bottles
    seriously fucking cocaina
    seriously fucking hemp
    serously fucking sativa
    seriously fucking vagina
    seriously fucking ass in my fucking face
    seriously like ass and vagina smashed on my motherfucking face. man.

  68. Reason gods are flitting among the threads like knowledge gods
    Reason gods are these FUCKING awesome moments called a
    post by intellectuals swimming among the shark swamps
    rocking to the ebb of existence the men and women of reason thrills
    post their poetry and literature banging on the carcasses of the universe unicorns
    Reason is the dungeon of the gods and godesses

  69. deep time after you and I.
    are doors under the lofty new and shrugs
    but before you and I
    the doors held back deep times, bro and few sis
    the doors when late and pondered by the young and us and old.
    the door before the young and us and sir and mrs. old
    the door exists and i have lived before the door
    and I am fucked up and I will travel before the door
    and I don’t understand why the old poets of songs beside dylan
    arent loved and sought for the doors.

    Dylan is cool but he was given keys most don’t own… and Dylan got rich off repetition that fucking makes my arms and legs turn to dead ass. But I guess Dylan is great.

    Fucking make tons of songs that sound the exact same way?

    Ok. Millions of dollars from fucking backyard hippies? goddamn Dylan isn’t really that fucking great.

    I’ve listened to every fucking song Dylan did and he is great but not brilliant.

    Fuckit…. I’ve read lines and thoughts in this deregible of cantakerous loving rainlightnings that caused my pause lips… and reason hath wrought the greatest minds and writers and I demand that you motherfuckers start writing books and song

      1. Heroic Mulatto
        a helluva island
        we check the clouds
        and under the seas
        we have a key that
        isn’t real life

        bytes on my Mulatto
        deep at the altar of swerves
        when agile can’t get
        real
        cuz.
        I love mulatto under the
        cliffs of scream letters
        man no fucking drug is real
        here, baby… and no fucking
        loss is real here… and

        disconnection is very real

        loss…

        but I love Mulatto… He or she is real.
        I am not.
        I am gone
        He or she is not.
        peace heroic M.

        I am just proud to love you

        1. thank you Mulatto for my trip, baby.
          I cant type but I travelled on swerves baby and I thank your Mulatto pop for rainbows.

  70. a cold bottle is so fucking sweet
    I love a cold bottle of feel beer
    when the violins swing and swang and
    my cold bottle of beer wants to fuck
    a hot violin my fucking drunkass notices I guess
    I think that a sassy song makes my cold beer grow
    a cock? a cold beer cock? I’ m drinking you bitch!!
    And you have a beer cock? Because the violin is swinged by a
    cute Alaskan chick? are you kidding me?

    I GET Alaskan chicks and I get hardons but
    WHAT the FUCK?
    My beer had a beer hardon. A beer bottle hardon is like a glass beer dildo.
    and deep alaskan babes would prob appreciate my true glass beer didld…
    I refuse to make a story about this shit fucking me up…

    Not a SINGLE fucking story… none… I am FUCKED UP and I DID see a huge glass cock point from this fucking shit but my lips arent in alaska and i am super fucked up

    I did see a pink angel, daddy.
    she floated under that trip
    when god came down and
    offered her the heavens fro
    peace

  71. a torn time
    under the rocks
    when my lost heart
    falls under the coaxis
    of interdimensions flogged by vectors of stars
    and fallin demons and calculus and trifect
    and deep quadrant species
    a lovely wide legged pussy art
    rainbowed by CIA stars
    and her little asshole and her little
    vagina her tough CIA boyfriend will fuck.

    enter… who is this guy press enter

  72. my shit is gone man
    like fucking serously gone.

    all the real super boys and tiny girls have gone 2 beds…. man….the BITCH of FUCKING BULLSHANGS…. that is what agile cyborg is abruyyt.
    when the TRUE GODS and GODDESSES have went about their little tv ways…. well, mnot little tv ways but I guess Im right… the silent gods and goddesses like their little cable banjos-

    well, I DON”T like FUCKING cable TV BULLSHIT,,.. you lovely loverfucks….
    I HATE cable FUCKING tv…
    but you’ve all been asleep and
    I still love your pretty gals and boys and thread tans…. I

    1. Agile, my god, I’d love to dance around
      the streaming conscious of your thoughts tonight.
      But day tomorrow much to soon alights
      and mine awakened thoughts abed are found.

      1. eesh, *too soon alights

  73. the artists sail under the lost stars
    the reason loves and artists and themes and minds
    and agile offers savage check outs to his super brains but agile is tripping undra the waves and minds within the minds of the loving srokes topdown and the waves
    man my worlds are pushing arms and stars and loves
    we get tripped and gone love but we should still
    so love deeply and….

    do libertarians love deep?
    Ayn did.

    1. Alright:
      Your artists lost amoungst the stars might keep
      apart from you causes rich and themes thought deep.
      But Agile, sweet Agile, is not lost among the waves;
      He surfs the rugged crests of hightened staves.
      It’s his words that drive us forward through the dark
      although our toes might catch upon his bark.
      Our libertarian philosophy
      is rich with love and randy liberty.

  74. So cruising youtube, I find something I hadn’t heard for a while and either AC or a good knock-off of him in the comments:

    ” stephen dwyer 2 months ago (edited)
    +Gayle Angels and Angles The Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra and two Wrecking Crew Trad Jazz Drummers Hal Blaine Earl Palmer and 2 of my aunts on Strings it has Flamenco Guitar French Horns Bassoons Trumpets Cornets Trombones as well as Jim Gordon on percussion and piano bass guitar flutes other stuff 3 different time signatures 2/4 3/4 4/4 Starts in Cut Time is in C Major lots of Key Changes too all in sharped Keys not for muh nigga mah shit rappers that cant play instruments or read music
    Read more
    ?

    stephen dwyer 1 week ago
    +Gayle Angels and Angles All those hippy musicians forget it I hear major 13ths here almost impossible to play on guitar you cant just add more strings 1 3 5 7 9 11 13 5 and 9 always beat to produce a perfect eight a discord you must know enharmonics”

    And here it is:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mREi_Bb85Sk

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