Confederate Flag Comes Down Tomorrow, Zakarian Drops Plans with Trump, FBI Claims to Have Stopped July 4 Plots: P.M. Links

• 

  Credit: Serfs UP ! Roger Sayles / photo on flickr

  The Confederate flag will be gone from the South Carolina state capitol grounds by Friday morning.

• But now there's a federal fight in Congress about whether the government should ban the sale and display of the Confederate flag at parks and cemeteries managed by the National Park Services.
• Chef Geoffrey Zakarian has dropped his plans to open a restaurant in Donald Trump's new hotel in Washington, D.C., due to Trump's comments about immigrants. Reason has an interview with Zakarian in our August/September issue on the stands right now.
• Some county clerks are still resisting the requirement to hand out marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Supreme Court decision notwithstanding.
• FBI Director James Comey claims that his agency thwarted plots to kill people in the United States on Independence Day, but declined to provide details (like whether these "terrorists" were just incompetent boobs being strung along by undercover agents).
• The Los Angeles Police Department officials said it will be investigating sexual abuse allegations about Bill Cosby, even though the statute of limitations would make impossible to prosecute many of them.
• A new report says 25 million people inside and outside the government have had private data stolen in the federal Office of Personnel Management hacking.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

Some county clerks are still resisting the requirement to hand out marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Supreme Court decision notwithstanding.

Taking their jobs seriously.

[Antilles]

If they don't have to follow laws they don't agree with, why should any of us?

[Mickey Rat]

Where is the Supreme Court authorized to make law?

[Antilles]

That's their new job, apparently.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

Authorization? Do you think we live in a constitutional republic or something?

[SIV]

In Decatur County, TN the whole clerk's office quit. We need more government employees willing to quit their jobs on principle. Whatever the job or principles might be.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

...and then we need supervisors with the cojones NOT to backfill those jobs.

It'd be a start....

[chipper me timbers]

Agreed. I'd like to see the entire employee base of the TSA, FCC, DEA, BATF, SEC, all state child protective services, all municipal meter maids, all quit en masse, for a start.

[chipper me timbers]

Oops, forgot FDA. They should be first.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Yes, we need more St. Thomas Mores, and fewer Vicars of Bray.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=viw5JXopin0

[Curt]

It's amazing how they can't wrap their head around the concept that they have to hand out these licenses because their employer approves of the marriage (or was directed to approve of it by SCOTUS). Doing paperwork on behalf of the state/county that employs you does not convey your approval or your religion's approval of the union. It conveys the state/county's approval.

If it is so offensive to you that you can't have anything to do with it... then quit. I won't hold it against you. Sure, I'll think you're a narrow minded douchebag, but at least you are a narrow minded douchebag who stands up for your ignorance.

Meanwhile, I don't give a crap about the state/county/city clerk's personal opinions or moral convictions. Whether it's a marriage license, business license, CCL, hunting license, etc... your opinion is irrelevant. You are a stooge paid by the government to be a gatekeeper. The law matters; not your opinion of it.

[kbolino]

I would not be so eager to fill the government with stooges and lackeys, myself.

[Zeb]

I think that ship has sailed.

[kbolino]

Obviously, there were some stragglers.

[Curt]

True. I'd rather eliminate the government permission slips that are required for doing those things. Then, we wouldn't need to pay stooges to create hoops and and others to verify that we correctly jumped through them.

[Antilles]

Yet Target accommodates Muslim checkers who refuse to touch pork and alcohol products purchased in their stores. But they can't be fired because Tolerance.

[Curt]

At least Target cashiers are plentiful and interchangeable. If the Local Bureau of Bureaucracy and Redundancy Bureau had 17 clerks working at any given time (at one of 52 different cash registers?!?!), accommodation might be one thing. But, if I have to come back next week or drive to another county to find someone whose is morally capable of doing their job, that's a different story.

[In League with the Dark Ones]

At least Target cashiers are plentiful

Bullshit!

I rarely go to Target and see more than 1-3 of the 20 lines open.

[BearOdinson]

I have to admit this pisses me off. HOWEVER, if Target is willing to put up with this nonsense, then that is their business. If a customer doesn't like it, go to Walmart.

[Antilles]

Target probably decided it'd be easier to accommodate them (especially in Muslim-heavy cities like Dearborn) than deny them a job and risk a lawsuit. They're a private company and can do what they want, but that doesn't mean we have to like it. If you're not willing to fulfill all the obligations of a job then you shouldn't take it. Kinda like that Jessica Alba lobbying Robert Rodriguez for the part of a stripper in 'Sin City' and then refusing to strip. What a twat.

[PapayaSF]

Huh? A checker is not touching pork or alcohol, just sealed packages.

[Antilles]

Agreed. But you and I are rational, not religious nutjobs who carry things to the extreme. I also heard hospitals in England are having trouble getting Muslim visitors to use hand sanitizer because it contains alcohol, and it's leading to increased rates of disease transmission. Insanity.

[PapayaSF]

Another of the many benefits of Third World immigration....

[BigT]

Couldn't they use a methanol-isopropanol mix?

[NotAnotherSkippy]

It's really a ban on hydroxyls.

[BearOdinson]

Exactly. As much as the reasoning use by SCOTUS wasn't worthy of a fifth grader, I personally have no problem with any groups of consenting adults entering into a marital arrangement. And of course, no private baker or photographer or clergy should be forced to be a party of a marriage ceremony that they disagree with. But these people work for the govt. And as such they have an obligation to provide a service without discrimination. If they feel that they can't in good conscience give out SSM licenses, then they should quit.

This is of course the appropriate time to make the required plea to get the state out of the marriage business altogether.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"But these people work for the govt. And as such they have an obligation to provide a service without discrimination."

No, they have an obligation to follow the state and federal constitution.

The state constitution is quite clear on marriage being the union of one man and one woman.

The federal constitution is quite clear on the states or the people retaining the powers not delegated to the feds.

A 5-4 ruling of Supreme Court justices dosn't overrule the constitution.

Or would you rather have civil servants clicking their heels, saluting, saying "der law is der law," and carrying out every arbitrary edict of their "superiors"?

[BearOdinson]

Are you equating issuing SSM licenses to "I was merely following orders?"
It didn't take long to get to Godwin on this thread (or at least subthread).

[carol]

I've read numerous times here that the police shouldn't enforce bad/stupid laws. What is the difference? Either you swear fealty to the state or you don't. If you think that the police shouldn't enforce the law against selling loosies then you think it is okay for someone who works for the state to refuse to perform duties that they were hired to discharge. There is no difference between a clerk and a police officer in this regard.

[Libertymike]

Exactly. Fag sympathy may be in play in the cognitive dissonance reflected in the above comments.

[Libertymike]

Liberty is not acceptance of sodomite culture as something special, in and of itself. Being a queer does not entitle you to anybody's property or special approval or blessing.

[Antilles]

Recent events would suggest otherwise.

[Migrant Log Chipper]

Other than the fact that cops get to shoot people, clerks not so much.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"Meanwhile, I don't give a crap about the state/county/city clerk's personal opinions or moral convictions."

Screw personal convictions, we're talking about the convictions of the taxpayers, as expressed through direct votes, or through the votes of their elected representatives.

So, yes, precisely *because* they're paid by the taxpayers, they need to carry out the taxpayers' wishes, not the wishes of a 5-4 majority vote in a court filled with retards.

[BearOdinson]

In all fairness, I am very sympathetic to your point of view. I don't disagree that as long as marriage is defined by the state govt, then it is up to the voters. Particularly when the voters and the state legislature amend the state constitution to define marriage.

However, for right or wrong, SCOTUS generally has the final say on these types of issues. If someone feels that a SCOTUS decision was wrong (and I agree that it was very poor jurisprudence) then by all means protest. But a govt employee can't just pick and choose. If they don't like it then they should resign. That is a govt employee should protest.

[Curt]

Well, in this case, we are actually talking about clerks' opinions getting in the way, not the taxpayers' wishes. These clerks aren't refusing to hand out marriage licenses because the people of their county voted against gay marriage. They are refusing to do it because they personally oppose gay marriage.

With regards to the SCOTUS decision, you can debate whether the Constitution supports their decision. But, their job is to issue the final decision on whether the Constitution supports the law. I certainly disagree with their opinions on numerous occasions, but I don't expect those objections to hold up in court.

I'm fine with a state deciding that marriage is between a man and a woman. But, if they do that, they have defined it as something that is biased on sexual orientation. As such, they can't be in the business of approving or disapproving of any given marriage. If they really think it is so important to protect the "traditional definition" of that word, they should stop getting involved in "marriage" and only issue licenses for domestic partnerships. That allows the state to maintain its people's objection to gay marriage without actively using the law to discriminate against gays.

[Curt]

I agree with you to an extent on the principle of state employees acting in accordance with state law. But the SCOTUS declared those laws unconstitutional. It's easy to think of scenarios where a state/county could pass some ridiculous law that clearly violated the constitutional rights of people. Where do you draw the line?

[Curt]

Weird. Had to put in two posts because it had two many words. The paragraph in my reply to myself was actually between first and third paragraphs in the big post.

[Libertymike]

The number one responsibility of all government critters is to obey the constitution, not a progressive distortion thereof.

That the motivation of the clerks in question may be their personal beliefs and not the wishes of the taxpayers, is besides the point. If a county employee has the stones to step up to the plate and defy cultural Marxist edicts, that is a net gain for liberty. That some same sex couple is thereby denied the official imprimatur of state approval for their "marriage", too bad.

[Libertymike]

Anthony Kenedy was on the right side of liberty in Lawrence v. Texas as the vindication of individual liberty trumps all. If two men want to play pitcher and catcher in the sodomite passion play, that is their business.

However, SSM is not about the vindication of individual liberty; to the contrary, it is about the implementation of Cult-Marx tyranny and the further projection of state power. Liberty, necessarily means one does not need permission from the state in order to trade, travel or take it backwards.

The same ratiocination applies to heterosexual marriage. If A chooses not to recognize the marriage of Barack and Moochella, that is A's prerogative. If A is a homo and he also happens to be a clerk and he wakes up one day an decides that he will no longer issue marriage licenses to straights, hooray for him.

[Migrant Log Chipper]

You are talking out of both sides of your mouth.

You are correct that the state should GTFO of marriage other than contract rights, so you contradicted your original assertion.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"they have to hand out these licenses because their employer approves of the marriage (or was directed to approve of it by SCOTUS)."

These things are not equivalent.

They are employed by the taxpayers and the taxpayers' elected representatives.

They are not employed by the federal judges, nor bound by a 5-4 opinion which overturns the settled order of society.

"If it is so offensive to you that you can't have anything to do with it... then quit."

No, if the law - the state constitutions and the 10th Amendment - are so offensive to federal judges, *they* should quit.

[BearOdinson]

"settled order"? You know this is a libertarian website right?

[robc]

Then why have people at all? Just let a computer print things out.

[SIV]

I'm for it. Then we can feed the computers into the woodchipper,

[Michael Ejercito]

They are just following the examples set by county sheriffs in California who refuse to hand out concealed carry weapons permits to individuals who are statutorily qualified.

[Mickey Rat]

Well, it is not as if SCOTUS actually has the authority to give them orders.

[Fist of Etiquette]

But now there's a federal fight in Congress about whether the government should ban the sale and display of the Confederate flag at parks and cemeteries managed by the National Park Services.

THAT'S IT NOBODY GETS A FLAG.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

It is just amazing how much time people have on their hands to go around trying to ban things (the people pushing for the gub'ment to ban stuff). What lives these people have are very sad.

[Antilles]

Don't you understand it's 'things' and 'wrong thinking' that makes people do bad things?

[carol]

Personally I think that we should ban Mondays because they made Brenda Ann Spencer shoot up a school yard.

[C. Anacreon]

+1 Boomtown Rats

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Wow! Super racist Teathuglihadist on view RIGHT HERE, people!!!

*points at Joe*

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

The nuclear industry illuminati made me do it. Time to get back to counting my cash and dumping nuclear waste into the lake. Excellent.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

This is how it is with the left, you give in an inch and they then demand another, and another and another. There is no compromise with these people, they are never happy.

[R C Dean]

They are fanatics, who can't take "yes" for an answer.

That's why its pointless to try to treat with them. There's never a deal. There are only the concessions you have made, and the concessions you will make.

[Pro Libertate]

If it weren't for the fact that the flag does legitimately offend some people (the vast majority of those making the noise about it are clearly doing it for political reasons, not personal offense), Auric and I would use our control of the solar system to have a giant CSA battle flag placed on the surface of the Moon--the part facing the Earth, that is. Just to fuck with these morons.

What really bothers me, and I mean this on a personal level, not because I'm a libertarian, is how the flag debate has almost totally eclipsed the fact that some whackjob murdered nine people. It's all about symbolism now and nothing else.

[Zeb]

Well, at least they aren't on about gun control 24/7 this time. At least pointless symbolism doesn't erode our rights.

I agree that is annoying, though. I keep hearing people talk about it as if the flag in front of the state house had something to do with the murders. I'm glad they are going to take it down. The rush for every business to stop selling the flags is pretty nuts, though.

[Homple]

In a generation, guns will go the way of the Confederate flag. Poll your millennials on their opinions of firearms.

[Zeb]

the millennials I know all love guns. I think it will continue to be a rural/urban divide like it is with every generation.

[B.P.]

To dovetail, I'm all in favor of the confederate battle flag coming down, but I dislike the connection to the whackjob who murdered nine people, since I think giving this type of whackjob undue attention creates a bad incentive system for future whackjobs.

Whackjob.

[Zeb]

High profile murders are going to get attention one way or another.

I'm actually more bothered that it turned into another "conversation" about how racist everyone is. Seems like a better thing to note would be that there are so few people who are that insanely racist these days that this asshole decided he had to take it all upon himself.

[Pro Libertate]

That, too. I don't like the celebrification of mass-murderers, either, for the record, but the media can't help it.

[B.P.]

High profile murders don't necessarily need to drive public policy within days after the event. I absolutely agree with your second paragraph.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

I don't know. All of academia promotes this "White Privilege" idea and that sounds pretty damn racist to me. But I guess that isn't the kind of racism they are interested in.

[Pro Libertate]

There's a part of me that thinks the flag thing is cover for leftists to trash the people they really hate--southerners. The shit they say sounds about the same as what racists used to say about blacks. But that's okay because something.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

I do think that is a huge part of it. It isn't that the flag supposedly represents racism, it's that the flag represents a bunch people they see as, gun-toting, bible-thumping, inbred, George W. Bush voting rednecks.

[A special place in JW's Hell]

There's a part of me that thinks the flag thing is cover for leftists to trash the people they really hate--southerners. The shit they say sounds about the same as what racists used to say about blacks. But that's okay because something.

The good news is that they have one less thing they can point to.

"THERE. It's gone. NOW are you happy?"

[Igor]

To which, the candid answer would be "No".

[Pro Libertate]

Between being a libertarian and a southern, white male, I figure I have a great chance of ending my days in a special camp.

[Zeb]

Oh there is plenty of racism. Just mostly of the soft variety.

[fish]

Auric and I would use our control of the solar system to have a giant CSA battle flag placed on the surface of the Moon--the part facing the Earth, that is. Just to fuck with these morons.

I generally try to fight the urge to develop mancrushes........this is one of those times.

[Heroic Mulatto]

That's why its pointless to try to treat with them. There's never a deal. There are only the concessions you have made, and the concessions you will make.

In other words, they're Palestinians?

[Zeb]

To be fair, that applies pretty well to libertarians too.

[Pro Libertate]

Jesus. What, are we disappearing history now? This is such a fucking European thing to do--ban everything and run away.

We were such a strong people once.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

In the 80's when everyone was juicin' and liftin' heavy

[Pro Libertate]

Precisely.

[Syd Henderson]

Well, not the Lincoln Memorial, certainly, but I'd be fine with it at a Civil War battlefield.

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

FBI Director James Comey claims that his agency thwarted plots to kill people in the United States on Independence Day, but declined to provide details (like whether these "terrorists" were just incompetent boobs being strung along by undercover agents).

Anything to justify spying on the proles.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I don't believe a word of that. Not one word.

If it were true, the first thing that would have happened is a press conference follow by weeks of self congratulatory back patting.

[Lee G]

If the plots were thwarted, where are the arrests?

[The DerpRider]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5I9zkexRyzw

[PapayaSF]

From July 2nd: FBI agents have made at least 30 arrests on US soil this year as they try to combat the murderous reach of ISIS and its warped followers, Daily Mail Online can disclose.

[Zeb]

But the models said there would be attacks. So something they did must have stopped them.

[Homple]

Lisa, I want to buy that rock.

[RBS]

According to Facebook it's a great day in South Carolina. I guess they got the crippling unemployment and violent crime all figured out.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

Ban violent crime! problem solved

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

"Chef Geoffrey Zakarian has dropped his plans to open a restaurant in Donald Trump's new hotel in Washington, D.C."

So did Jose Andres. Trump is threatening to sue him for 1 gazillion dollars.

[some guy]

Always read the fine print. Especially when dealing with an inflammatory blowhard or any organization associated with an inflammatory blowhard.

[R C Dean]

Zakarian has never struck me as a blowhard. But, live and learn, I guess.

[RBS]

"You left out the mother fucking fish sauce in your terrible sour patch kids and stale cheez-its desert,idiot."

[Sudden]

I cannot recommend enough the instagrams and twitters for Chef Jacques La Merde

[lap83]

Those are hilarious. The brotastic comments that he writes are great too

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

He was referring to Trump.

[Overt]

So did Jose Andres.

I tried his food at the Bazaar in Los Angeles. Way too much "art of cooking" than food, imho. I like molecular gastronomy, and think Michael Voltagio- one of his proteges is pretty cool. But his dishes had taken it to an extreme. LOOK AT WHAT I CAN DO WITH THESE CHEMICALS! THE STRAWBERRY JAM COMES IN LITTLE BALLS!

"Yes, but you then put those little balls on reconstituted crab legs (i.e. Krab made from real Crab) and olives in a sardine can. It was disgusting!"

[Fist of Etiquette]

FBI Director James Comey claims that his agency thwarted plots to kill people in the United States on Independence Day, but declined to provide details...

In other words the FBI gave agents the day off.

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

LOL

[Antilles]

Admit it, Reason gives you the daily links in advance just like 'Hollywood Squares' used to give answers to Paul Lynde before the show so he could come up with joke answers. Right?

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

they did that??

*stands crying upon a shattered world*

[Antilles]

Actually, they gave answers to most of the guests--no one is that quick and clever. Except, apparently, Fist. A cryptic disclaimer during the end credits said as much.

[Pro Libertate]

Paul Lynde. Richard Dawson. Gods of 20th century game shows.

[Antilles]

Don't forget Charles Nelson Reilly on Match Game. Loved how Richard Dawson basically played himself in the movie 'Running Man.' If you haven't seen that one, rent it sometime.

[Aloysious]

Obligatory

[Antilles]

God, I forgot what a weird show that was. Did that bit actually appear on the original show? I know it (or something similar) appeared in The Gong Show Movie, but I have a hard time imagining it would have made it on daytime TV in the 70s. ?

[Aloysious]

from the Wiki:

The girls' act was let through by the censors, who did not see anything wrong with it in rehearsals. However, once the episode aired in Eastern time zone markets NBC pulled the act from the Central, Mountain, and Pacific airings of the day's episode immediately after it ended;

[Antilles]

Ah...no wonder I never saw it. I watched the show every day during the original run but never saw that 'act' since I'm in California. Once again, the West Coast gets screwed. Thanks for the info...

[Pro Libertate]

I just watched it again on Netflix. I've wondered why they haven't made a movie since then closer to the original novella.

[A special place in JW's Hell]

Dear Zod, I had a thing for Jaye P. Morgan with my teenage lust. The 70's were most wonderful and cruel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyQA5vNjihs

[Antilles]

While not conventionally attractive, Jaye P. Morgan was kinda sexy, especially to a teenage boy.

[A special place in JW's Hell]

She hits all the right notes with her wanton libidinousness. No, not beautiful, but holy shit was she sexy.

[ant1sthenes]

Apart from the protagonist crashing a plane into a building at the end?

[some guy]

You stole the words from my mouth... Slow down dude. Let others participate.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You people can't mosey in here at eight minutes past go-time and expect to have your thoughts be original.

[Antilles]

I was sitting here clicking refresh over and over until the article appeared--but you had already made your first post. You kinda freak me out, dude...

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's part art, part science.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

IT'S ALL PAYOLA, AND DON'T THINK WE DON'T KNOW IT, FIST

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

And part cheating.

[Derpetologist]

Spot the Not: Julian the Apostate, Roman emperor (hat tip to John, master historian)

1. Men should be taught and won over by reason, not by blows, insults, and corporal punishments.

2. So long as you are a slave to the opinions of the many you have not yet approached freedom or tasted its nectar.

3. No wild beasts are so dangerous to men as Christians are to one another.

4. Grant unto all men happiness, of which the sum and substance is the knowledge of the gods; and to the Roman people universally, first and foremost to wash away from themselves the stain of atheism, and in addition to this, grant them propitious Fortune, that shall assist them in governing the empire for many thousands of years to come!

5. Can anyone be proved innocent, if it be enough to have accused him?

6. Anonymously posted accusations ought to have no place in any prosecution. For this is both a dangerous kind of precedent and out of keeping with the spirit of our age.

[Aloysious]

I like the word 'propitious'.

[Libertymike]

The Charleston "massacre" is viewed by the Progressives as a propitious portent.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

6... sounds about 1500 years too early for that.

[Derpetologist]

#6 is the Not, but it is from ancient times. Emperor Trajan said that one.

http://faculty.georgetown.edu/jod/texts/pliny.html

Your prize is El Monstruo, a 21-ft great white shark caught by Cuban fishermen in 1949:
http://wereblog.com/wp-content.....-shark.jpg

Happy Shark Week, everyone!

[Pro Libertate]

Highly recommend Gore Vidal's Julian. Yes, Vidal was crazy. It's still a great novel.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

"to wash away from themselves the stain of atheism"

That's actually a genuine quote.

The atheists like Julian because he bashed Christians, but try their hardest to ignore his strictures against atheism.

It's kind of like their reaction to Thomas Jefferson.

[Pro Libertate]

Julian was, of course, not even remotely atheistic. He was obviously not Christian (or, at least, he renounced the Christianity of his youth, as he was raised Christian), but he was just as obviously an avid proponent of classical Roman/Greek religion.

[CatilineWoodchipperConspiracy]

I'm pretty sure 6 was Marcus Aurelius

[CatilineWoodchipperConspiracy]

Never mind, Trajan it is

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Confederate flag will be gone from the South Carolina state capitol grounds by Friday morning.

Is there a state flag for them other than the rebel flag? They should probably be flying that.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

+1 Gadsden Falg

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

No man. The Gadsden flag is a symbol of racism.

Remember this?

Gadsden Flag: Too Racist for Government Buildings, But Just Right for Obamacare Propaganda!

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

I was trying to be ironic - I'll got shave off my ironic beard....

[Pro Libertate]

Apparently. I put a Culpeper Minuteman flag plate on the front of my car after 9/11, and one of my left-leaning colleagues suggested that that made me "right of Attila the Hun." I'm still not clear on what that meant, but, for the record, this was years before the Tea Party movement and their use of the Gadsden flag.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

What exactly were Attila the Hun's political views? I knew he believed in strong national defense.

[Pro Libertate]

That was my problem with that phrase, but it's something that apparently gets said on occasion. I guess they lack good icons of "rightwingedness" to use?

[Pan Zagloba]

He was certainly an advocate of open immigration.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

Just combine the Confederate flag with the rainbow gay flag, and put that up instead. When these people start bitching again ask them why they hate gay people?

[B.P.]

Their actual flag is the palmetto flag, based on the Moultrie flag. It has Revolutionary War origins. They should probably stick with that.

[Sudden]

But it may offend Brits?

[Igor]

I must say, just about every flag I see in the US has some origin in the Revolutionary War.

I spend about 14 hours a day in a constantly triggered state, only relieved by sleep, and hiding out in my flag-free basement.

[Antilles]

Brits are white and don't matter.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

"A new report says 25 million people inside and outside the government have had private data stolen in the federal Office of Personnel Management hacking."

How much did Home Depot and Target pay in fines for the same thing? And, am I required to do business with either of those entities?

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

In order to "fix" this problem, the Feds will create a new agency.

Naming contest?

I submit "IBMA" (Incompetent Boob Mitigation Agency) as my submission.

Please add yours below.

[some guy]

Office of Operational Posture Security

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Department of Emergency Response Preparedness (DERP)

[B.P.]

Bureau for Uncovering Major Malappropriations of Executive Resources

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

"Look, these things happen."

[Theoretical Bi Irish]

I would just like to inform everyone: It is now Tony's stated position that Asians don't count as minorities when Tony is trying to claim minorities are underrepresented in Silicon Valley.

Feel free to laugh accordingly.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Did it sound anything like, "Well, Asians AREN'T a minority in tech, soooo...."?

[Lady Dalrymple]

The direct quote: "Asians don't count."

Really.

In Tony's defense, he's having a super bad day and needed to get his righteous feelzzzzz on by berating the mean libertarians.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

wow

[John Titor]

Yeah, the moral grandstanding about horrible libertarians taking the vote away from women and minorities made that obvious.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

"Asians don't count."

But I thought Asians were good at math?

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

+1

HIYOOOOOOO!

[TheZeitgeist]

I witnessed funny situation regarding this. At time I was working for vast techno-bluechip, and of course that means a Diversity Day (seriously) of essentially self-criticism.

So, from home office they deploy a stereotype large kinda militant black lady who does this for a living. We set up big conference room, and have all-hands meeting.

There were two hundred people in the room. Its a bunch of tech, so I'd say ethnographically it split something like 60/40 European/Asian. Of the whitey-pool, about half of them were from Russia, Israel (counting Hebes in whitey-pool), or Europe direct. Asian pool was about 1 subcontinental brown clown for every two of the Sino-looking set.

There were three black people not counting Miss Diversity. A product and project manager, and one dev. Only Hispanic visible was perfectly-timed guy outside the window waving around a leaf blower.

So a very culturally and ethnically diverse crowd greeted Miss Diversity; and you could tell she was a little flummoxed how to rip into the crowd present to criticize our lack of diversity, because that was the script and she had nothing else.

The cold of the icy politeness in that crowd I'll never forget.

[PapayaSF]

Ha!

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

+1 ROTFLMAO

[SIV]

Isn't Tony Nick's sockpuppet ? Or is this one of the copycat "Tony's"

[Lady Dalrymple]

That's insulting to Nick because he could create a way better sock than Tony.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Nick's sock would be Argyle, I have no doubt

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

Nick's sock would be whatever kind of socks Fonzie wore.

[Sudden]

Lambskin?

[Derpetologist]

My favorite Tony moment was when he said he only meets poor people when he buys fast food. It was some time last year. I wish I bookmarked that page.

[some guy]

Poor people can't afford to live in his progressive enclave.

[fish]

My favorite Tony moment was when he said he only meets poor people when he buys fast food.

I guess he left out the part about cruising the seedier parts of Tulsa for "single serving friends".

Those guys are "poor" too!

[Antilles]

Successful Asians have been elevated to the status of 'white,' just as George Zimmerman was promoted as 'reward' for killing a Black kid. Get with the program, Theoretical...

[John Titor]

Current Tony is truly amazing in that he will indirectly admit you are right, and then proceed to argue that you're wrong and a terrible person.

[Pan Zagloba]

Or it's just someone fucking with commenters by being deliberately contrarian.
I'm also beginning to think Cytotoxic is an art project. Anyone who suggest "forums such as this and online games like Counterstrike" as a way to socialize children is putting on an act.

[Sudden]

You're just trying to remove your Canadian associational guilt in spawning Cyto.

[John Titor]

Hey, no people should have to claim responsibility for Cytotoxic. Plus, he's a West Coaster, so he can fuck off.

/Classic Ontario elitism.

[Pan Zagloba]

I think you'll find Alberta has no coast of any kind and is thus a Prairie province.

[PapayaSF]

You should not call Cytotoxic "Cyto," because Cyto is a different and saner commenter.

[Sudden]

I always forget that, but yes it is indeed true. Was once very confusing for me.

[Cytotoxic]

Dude, it was a joke.

[John Titor]

He's currently devolved back into his 'will of the governed'/majority rule' shtick after spending an entire thread decrying the fates of 'minorities'. Apparently 'minorities' in politics can get fucked.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

Tony is a utilitarian, and a moron. He is not constrained by the petty rules of logic or consistency.

[John Titor]

Hell, I wouldn't even call him a utilitarian, just a moron. A utilitarian would actually stand on a position based on actual results, but Tony's perfectly willing to ignore results as long as there's grandiose emotional intentions. He'll jump into the elitist 'I/experts know what's best' opinion a couple comments after a 'Will of the People' rant. He's just trying to arbitrarily justify his emotional responses to things, there's no actual philosophical underpinning.

[Antilles]

the statute of limitations would make impossible to prosecute many of them.

What do you want to bet this will lead to the elimination of the statute of limitations for all 'sex crimes.' Just imagine, the girl you had a drunken hookup with in college 30 years ago can come after you now! What could possibly go wrong?

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

The Confederate flag will be gone from the South Carolina state capitol grounds by Friday morning.

Thank GOD! Our long, national nightmare is over!

*starts singing "We Are The World"*

[Enough About Woodchippers]

You beat me to it by quite awhile.

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

Greece by the numbers

680: The number of Greeks on the island of Zakynthos who were receiving government benefits for blindness. It turns out that about 500 of them had decent vision. Some were still driving. One was a taxi driver. Critics say scams, like this one on the "island of the blind," are widespread in Greece.

[Libertymike]

The pride of Papandreou.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

But I keep hearing that this is all the fault of the rich and Goldman Sachs.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

"Greece's problem is that it didn't spend ENOUGH money!" -Krugman

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

Metaphorically speaking, lest I annoy some US attorneys, I want to take 680 Euros in 1-Euro denominations and stuff them into Krugman's mouth for whining about Greek "austerity".

[fish]

"Greece's problem is that it didn't spend ENOUGH money!" -Krugman

Paulie Krugman.....sounding like every economists ex-wife.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

You know who else is being blamed....

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

H.G. Wells, for suggesting that there may be something like a "Country of the Blind"?

[Libertymike]

All the trees threatening the Forest?

[DK]

Well, as long as you identify as blind...

[Jerry on the sea]

The whole Greek situation is a bit opaque to me.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I see what you did there.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

I observe what YOU have done there, as well

[Libertymike]

Yes, it is now in view.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I am glad my intentions were not kept in the dark.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

What's seen cannot be unseen

[Jerry on the sea]

The real scam was that the taxi driver had to pay off the local government bureaucrat in order to get his taxi license.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Los Angeles Police Department officials said it will be investigating sexual abuse allegations about Bill Cosby...

Asian ladies delivering newspapers better have their heads on a swivel.

[Derpetologist]

Tales from the Derp

I once worked with an engineer who spent many weeks laboriously calculating the CPKs of some processes. However, a CPK is only useful for a stable process. If the process is out of control, it meaningless to measure process capability.

But for some reason, none of the managers cared. They just wanted a number.

[Libertymike]

Sounds pretty derpy to me.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

^^this

I like when my company applies Six Sigma methods to HR shit. Like absenteeism - my fave - cause that's SO stable.

Me - "Seems like HR would be about the LAST place to apply 6 Sigma, cause people are inherently unstable, and the first thing we learned in '6 Sigma for Dummies' is...."

Company - "HERETIC!!!!"

And, amazingly, we never find out anything or fix anything.....except when we apply to shit like production processes and metallurgy and shit like that.

[Lee G]

I'd like for HR to go LEAN

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Practically defines the term

[Jerry on the sea]

They could start with firing all psychology majors.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

HEY!

I mean....ahem...YEAH! GET 'EM!!!

*looks around nervously*

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

*nefariously scribbles Almanian's name into a notebook*

[Brett L]

You got psych majors? Mine have all been communications majors.

[Derpetologist]

Hmm. Psych major or comm major? Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich?

[some guy]

But for some reason, none of the managers cared. They just wanted a number.

Of course they wanted a number. There's probably a line in a contract somewhere saying they have to provide a number. Who cares what the number means.

[ant1sthenes]

Stats is hard. Practically no one in management has the understanding to properly use it. Six sigma is a cargo cult, basically.

[Gojira]

Who's with me in getting these and walking around calling each other all day?

Since I speak some Russian, I call being Chekov.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Would you like directions to the wessels?

[Gojira]

Are they in Alameda?

[Derpetologist]

The Russian "v" is like the Hindi "v". You sort of start on "v" and finish on "w". So vodka properly pronounced sounds more like "fwodka".

At least, that's what it sounds like to me.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Stop being such a wagina.... - Chekhov

[Derpetologist]

Almanian, could you come to my office please?

Close the door.

Listen, I have some concerns about how well you're fitting in here. I have 20 years of experience in this business so I know a problem when I see one. You need to remember that perception is reality and that you can attract more flies with honey than gall. I'd rather have a average player on my team who gets along than a great player who doesn't. You don't seem to have much enthusiasm for this job. You need to start coming in here, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and excited to work. At the end of the day, it all comes down to being positive and outgoing. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. I'd rather be happy than right.

[a mash-up of the various condescending lectures I have received over the years]

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

You can't spell "Who Cares" without "HR"....

[Derpetologist]

Beautiful.

[grrizzly]

The Russian "v" is just "v". Just like in English. There's no "w" in Russian.

[Derpetologist]

But when Wall Street is written in Russian, they write it like "Ual Strit". If you go quickly from ooh to ah, you get wah.

[grrizzly]

It's ????-street. Yes, it sounds a bit like "w" but it is an unnatural vowel combination in Russian, it's used mostly for transliteration.

[grrizzly]

I cannot believe I managed to post a word in Russian on HyR. Squirrels must be asleep.

[Derpetologist]

Ah, now I get it.

[Libertymike]

Wall Street in Russian is Anglicized. The Russian word for street is ulitsa.

[A special place in JW's Hell]

"Nucwear wessle"

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I am, uh, unavailable that day. Whatever day it is.

[Hey Nikki!]

Since I speak some Russian,

You know that's a European language, right? Are you some kind of fag?

[Gojira]

Why now that you mention it, yes. Yes I am.

[Hey Nikki!]

That's hot.

[Rhywun]

Ugh, you are the worst.

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

Since I speak some Russian

Question of the Day: How do you proposition sex to a Russian female in Russian?

[Hey Nikki!]

The last Reasonoid who tried that hasn't been heard from in a while.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

I think she was Ukrainian....close enough for HyR!

[Pro Libertate]

Actually, close enough for geopolitics. I mean, where does Ukraine end and Russia begin?

[Hey Nikki!]

Sort of. She was a Russian in Ukraine. He went to the east -- you know, where the Ukrainian Russians have...kinda taken over...

[Pro Libertate]

He's fine. I know the doc. He is living in sin with three chicks across the street from Brian Herbert, plotting his revenge. Nonviolent revenge--he's a libertarian, after all--but revenge nonetheless.

[Pro Libertate]

Sorry, four women. I forgot the Bene Gesserit witch he picked up in Turkey.

[Gojira]

I gave you a real answer, but got the dreaded "your comment does not appear to be written in English" disclaimer.

Just say after me: Ya Americanyetz, ee oo menya yest diengi.

[Pro Libertate]

That annoys me. It's so arbitrary. Some foreign words just fly through, some get blocked. And Zeus Brontios forbid that you attempt to include any Greek words.

[Libertymike]

Mne nravitsya yebat!

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

Ya Americanyetz, ee oo menya yest diengi dzhinsy

/what you could have said 30 years ago.

[Libertymike]

Jimbo, a young LM went to Russia back when it was still the USSR.

The first day our group was in Leningrad, a bunch of Bolshevik blokes befriended me. That night, they took me out drinking. I got hammered. Then they took me back to their apartment complex. One of the guys insisted that he was going "to get [me] date with Russian girl." He must have called 7-8 girls before one of them wanted to speak with me.

The very first words out of my mouth were: "ya khochu sladostrastnoye russkiy pizdu." She laughed.

She met me the next night in front of Dom knigi (The House of Books) right there on Nevskiy street. She was 6', blond, blue-eyed and slim. True, her forehead featured a few zits, but, holy shit! Volia, we had a 6 week affair to remember.

[Gojira]

That's much better than my experience. I was there for two weeks as a student (I minored in Russian) back in, oh, this would have been 2001. Putin was still thought of as the great white hope, to bring the country back from the brink, and life was good. Until the militz picked me up while walking on Nevsky Prospekt, refused to get a translator, and made me sign some form that to this day I have no idea what it was. I gave them ~$200 to let me go. The White Nights were beautiful, though.

[Gojira]

I just realized you were also on Nevsky. Damn, does anyone go to Peterburg and not drunkenly walk down that street?

[Libertymike]

Why did they pick you up? It couldn't have been just because you were drunk?

BTW, I was there first in the winter of 1984-85 (Chernyenko died during our trip). Five or six hours of daylight. The next year, I went back in June and enjoyed the 21 hour days / white nights.

It is a beautiful city. And, romantic.

[Gojira]

It might have been for drunkenness, but I wasn't THAT wasted, just a bit tipsy. I honestly think they were just looking for a mark, and a tipsy American with no idea what's going on and money was too easy to pass up. I never once figured out what the exact problem was.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

With $$$$. Works for me.

[iCarl]

According to the videos I've watched, not much propositioning goes on.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I identify as awesome so I'll be Jimmy Kirk.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

We caught "Wrath of Khan" last night. Watched in front of two of the kids, who - although they are both 20+ - apparently have never seen it.

They did NOT laugh when my wife and I belted out together, "KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNN!" and then LAUGHED, and laughed....

They just looked at us funny.

"HEY! This is still way better than those fucking gay Star Wars "prequels"!"

[Fist of Etiquette]

That's a low bar for the greatest movie of all time to hurdle but I'll take it.

[Raven Nation]

The Los Angeles Police Department officials said it will be investigating sexual abuse allegations about Bill Cosby, even though the statute of limitations would make impossible to prosecute many of them.

Apparently the statute of limitations is different in the UK. Australian performer Rolf Harris (similar in many ways to Cosby) was jailed last year for parallel offenses which took place between 1968 & 1986:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-28163593

[Antilles]

What's the problem? Forty-year-old memories and unsubstantiated memories should be enough to destroy a man's life, right? If it prevents even one rape it's worth it.

[Raven Nation]

Good point, although I was more intrigued by the SoL issue. The most recent allegation was 28 years old when Harris went on trial.

[Antilles]

Eyewitness testimony is some of the most unreliable evidence that can be presented in a trial--even for recent crimes.

[Raven Nation]

Agree.

[AlmightyJB]

But they were on Quaaludes at the time so everything's probably crystal clear.

[Raven Nation]

So, a short piece of 'net research suggests no SoL in the UK:

http://www.theopinionsite.org/.....ex-crimes/

Warning: the comments quickly fall into both "derp" and "missed the point."

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Some county clerks are still resisting the requirement to hand out marriage licenses to same-sex couples, Supreme Court decision notwithstanding.

I see that, regardless of party affiliation, government bureaucrats are really bad at doing their jobs.

[R C Dean]

FBI Director James Comey claims that his agency thwarted plots to kill people in the United States on Independence Day, but declined to provide details

Wow, that's amazing! So did I!

And I can provide exactly as much support for my claim as Comey does.

[Pro Libertate]

I, too, have saved America innumerable times. Without me, the country would've been completely destroyed decades ago.

[AlmightyJB]

The difference is that I might actually believe YOU.

[Pro Libertate]

Send your checks c/o Reason.

[Derpetologist]

Tales from the Derp

A relative of mine was an intern at factory after college. His sole duty was to empty the suggestion box into the garbage each week. He got fired after he started reading the suggestions and told his boss about them.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

Ha ha ha love it.

[Ted S.]

That's a "Spot the Not" reject, isn't it?

[Derpetologist]

Nope. True story.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

The Confederate flag will be gone from the South Carolina state capitol grounds by Friday morning.

Oh the humanity!

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

Awesome infographic. Make sure you check out your own state, and hope it is not in the sh1tter.

Puerto Rico's debt per capita as compared to other states.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Wow.

"Michigan - Not Too Bad!"

(new state motto)

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

"Michigan - We're not all Detroit"

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

From my days in OH, I still have the t shirt, "Ohio - Nothing to See Since 1803"

Michigan's STILL a punching bag, deservedly so. Cause....DETROIT!

AND Saginaw. AND Flint. AND Benton Harbor. AND...

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

Michigan - we're not quite Michigone yet.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Hah, I knew Hawaii would be way up there.

[Mr Lizard]

Wow, how did Nebraska of all places avoid leveraging money for a bunch of nonsense?

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

It's a-MAIZE-ing....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

No people?

[Lady Dalrymple]

Wow.

Hey, fellow New Jersey residents? We're number 5! We're number 5!

We're doomed. Colorado is nice, right? I like mountains.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Be careful. They're in the process of remaking into Eastern California as we speak....

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

Yeah this. I'm going with Salt Lake City when my servitude in NY is over.

[Injun, Wood Chipper Vindaloo]

I wish non-lefties would move to Colorado to help liberty make a stand there.

Wherever proggies go, they leave a trail of sh1t that must be cleaned up after them.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

It's on our list for after law school. Colorado Springs and Asheville, NC are the two frontrunners for if we decide not to stay in Dallas.

[Raven Nation]

Try the western slope. More expensive but beautiful.

[Brett L]

ashville is where all of my Social Science PhD candidate friends go to slave gor a couple of years in indentured servitude known as adjunctship from FSU.

[Overt]

Please, Please come here.

The Libertarian Party actually started in Colorado. However we also have some pretty significant rich-hippie-liberal contingents infused with the young blood of California.

This state used to be staunch Democrats of Denver and Boulder counterbalanced by staunch republicans of the Military and Focus on the Family types, but now there is a much younger crowd, and we need free thinkers to counteract the constant Soros funded tomfoolery around here. Please. Join Us.

[Jerry on the sea]

Wall Street smoothed Puerto Rico's path to fiscal debacle. After the U.S. territory adopted a sales tax in 2006, investment banks worked with officials in San Juan to create new bonds backed by a portion of the tax. Banks including UBS, Citigroup and Goldman Sachs reaped more than $900 million in fees to manage Puerto Rico's $126.6 billion of bond sales since 2000. These helped the government, which employs more than a quarter of the workforce, put off cuts.

At least we're not Greece, right? Right?!

[Lee G]

Investment bankers will always help you destroy yourself financially for a fee

[GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard]

Anyone who has a high-yield bond fund probably owns some puero rican IOUs.

[kinnath]

Iowa -- $250 Fourth lowest

[RAHeinlein]

And yet, we could be so much more if we jettisoned the Government class.

[Raven Nation]

Very helpful, thanks for posting. It doesn't seem the state numbers include future pension payouts right?

And the city/county thing can be a big deal. Nebraska has the lowest per capita but Omaha has substantial problems mainly due to public sector pensions.

[Igor]

Yay! I live in CT!

What do I win?

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Not living in NY! YAY!

[Derpetologist]

Tales from the Derp

My paternal grandfather started his career as an engineer in a WonderBread bakery. Their biggest problem was that the bread wrapping machine would jam constantly because the bosses insisted on running it at full speed all the time. To solve the problem, Grandpa Derpy broke into the factory after dark and then bent the needles on the speed gauges to make them look like they were running faster than actuality. He gave his bosses some bullshit story about it and they hailed him as a genius. He spent the rest of his career traveling around the country and "fixing" the machines.

It's kind of funny how I ended up in the same line of work as him. I guess the lesson of the story is that lying to idiots is sometimes the only winning move.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

I like the cut of your grandfather's jib.

[Restor-woodchipper-as]

Seriously, that's just genius.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

It is so sad that - after 26 years in manufacturing - I read this and just started nodding.

It's the same everywhere, isn't it?

*goes on bending needles*

[some guy]

When assessing any system, you must include the operators and their management chain in your assessment. You must include the culture of the organization and all the policies (that are followed). Often the simplest solution has nothing to do with the equipment.

[Lee G]

Managers are notorious for focusing their attention on one step in the manufacturing process and trying to optimize the living shit out of it.

Their reasoning goes something like they can save money on the one step and show upper management how much they saved on paper. Meanwhile the entire line output is shit because the next steps can't handle the load.

[Derpetologist]

I commiserated once with another engineer that it was silly to worry about fluctuations in the scrap/production rates of different departments. The only thing that matters is the overall scrap/production rate. In fact, it might be advantageous to take a hit at one step in order to improve the net rate.

He sighed and said "yeah....I used to say that too when I was a new engineer."

[Brett L]

Plant Construction makes all my engineering stories pale. Holy shit. I never realized how much a good survey crew is worth. I can tell you that a bad one costs a million extra dollars.

[Lee G]

I used to design and manufacture cell station equipment. Invariably we would get some spec from Nokia et al that involved measuring some ridiculous performance parameter that could only be achieved in a lab setting with trained technicians and a super clean installation. Whenever it was explained to them that it was an irrelevant spec that would cost money but add nothing to the field performance, they would always respond with "It has to be that way otherwise our design doesn't work."

Never, ever, ever got one of those units back because it failed spec.

[Lee G]

Guess I should mention that we found out the testing department stopped testing for that parameter after 2 months because it took forever to get a passing reading.

[some guy]

I guess the lesson of the story is that lying to idiots is sometimes the only winning move..

Yes. And lies of omission are often the most effective kind. If they aren't smart enough to ask, then telling them will probably only cause problems.

[Ted S.]

Your job is breaking machines and lying to your bosses about it?

[Derpetologist]

At one of my jobs, an older engineer and I had a game called "who can break the most expensive thing and not get fired?" I won.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

The first day of my first job out of undergrad, I had to set up a prototype telecom device that took a 5V power supply. There happened an old leftover 19V power supply sitting on the desk from the previous occupant of the cubicle, and the plug just happened to fit perfectly. I unplugged it by the time I started smelling the magic smoke, but it was too late. I had just bricked a $20k telecom video phone.

[Trshmnstr doesn't recycle]

$20k video phone* (damn edit button!!!)

[All-Seeing Woodchipper]

It's kind of funny how I ended up in the same line of work as him.

Bender?

[Derpetologist]

Please insert liquor.

[Dark Lord of the wood chipper]

The Los Angeles Police Department officials said it will be investigating sexual abuse allegations about Bill Cosby, even though the statute of limitations would make impossible to prosecute many of them

Good to know that LA has solved all the crimes they could prosecute for.

[Derpetologist]

Tales from the Derp

I was in a meeting once listening to some corporate blubberput's presentation. She seemed very excited about a series of tables and charts which showed that most of the complaints were from a handful of causes.

I wanted to get up and say: "Yes, a few of the causes give most of the results. Congratulations for re-discovering Pareto's law for the umpteenth time. Shall I alert the Nobel committee?"

Even though I drank 2 Red Bulls in preparation for the meeting, I struggled to stay awake. A friendly coworker next to periodically nudged me in the ribs whenever my eyes closed.

I've had 3 engineering jobs and I've fallen asleep at meetings in all of them.

[Brett L]

That's your brain trying to defend itself from stupidity. "Close the blast doors!"

[Lady Dalrymple]

Sufferers of the bizarre condition causing almost a million Japanese men to lock themselves inside for YEARS, surfing the internet and reading manga

Yuto Onishi, 18, from Tokyo had not left his bedroom for almost three years before he sought treatment six months ago, ABC's 7.30 reported.
He spent his days asleep and nights surfing the internet and reading Japanese manga, and did not talk to anybody.

I would say we now know what Tony does with his time, but Asians don't count.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

Well this explains Japan's declining fertility rate.

[Michael Ejercito]

So true.

[ant1sthenes]

More Japanese girls for us, I guess. Well, not me, unless the polygamy thing takes off.

[Antilles]

Isn't that pretty much what all of us would do if we didn't have to work?

[Lady Dalrymple]

The article mentions it's a condition affecting almost exclusively the middle class, not so much the poor. I believe I've discovered the cure ----- poverty.

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

I figured it out. Eureka!! South Carolina can swap out the Confederate flag for the Washington Redskins flag!!

[Theoretical Bi Irish]

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

I have discovered the best looking female libertarian in America - even compared to Naomi Brockwell.

Her name is Kristin Tate and she is glorious.

I mean come on.

[Crusty Juggler]

Wouldn't.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Okay you're just trolling us at this point.

[Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish]

Yeah - she's titstatstic

[Lee G]

I don't believe you.

[Antilles]

Eh...I don't care for white girls...

[Theoretical Bi Irish]

I bring you guys gold and all I get is disappointment.

Next time it'll just be shirtless dudes because at least Jesse will appreciate my work.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Old news, buddy.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

Nope. Butterface. Good on her being libertarian and all, and fantastic rack, but no thanks.

[Theoretical Bi Irish]

You people are impossible to please.

And if she's a butterface, then all women must disgust you.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

Not disgustingly so, but not beautiful. Especially compared to the exquisite porcelain beauty of Naomi Brockwell.

[Riven]

I have to agree. Sorry, Irish.

And I'm not even theortically bi.

[Theoretical Bi Irish]

You people are like a bunch of Nicoles, just worsting up the universe with your bad taste.

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

I'm with ya, Irish. Reminds me of 80's Tiffani Thiessen.

[Crusty Juggler]

Reminds me of 80's Tiffani Thiessen.

How dare you.

[Idle Hands]

Seriously that is an insult

[Trouser-Pod (The blowhard)]

What, look and see similarities in physiology?

Actually, I shoulda added something like, "Also, reminds..." I did intend the statement to be a value-neutral observation.

Still like both of 'em, dammit.

[Pan Zagloba]

Pearls before swine, Irish.

And yes, Jesse and the ladies are much more appreciative. Problem is, finding handsome male libertarian is even harder than an attractive female libertarian.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

There just aren't any pictures of me floating around the internet.

[Enough About Woodchippers]

The Confederate flag will be gone from the South Carolina state capitol grounds by Friday morning.

Finally! Our long national nightmare is over!

[GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard]

"and that's when racism ended. The End."

[Ein Barde und ein Holzhacker]

Ha ha ha racism end? Thats a good one. Every race on Earth could hump each other for centuries until we are all the exact same race of people, and the left would still go on and on about "white privilege" "institutional racism" etc.

[Derpetologist]

Here I will point out that there wasn't any obvious anatomical difference between say, people from Union and people from the South, but they fought anyway.

[Overt]

That's because sometimes when the dick measuring is indecisive you can only resort to exploding cannon balls.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I'll wait for everyone to forget that joke, then I'll pass if off for mine, heh heh.

Yeah, it's that good.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

But now there's a federal fight in Congress about whether the government should ban the sale and display of the Confederate flag at parks and cemeteries managed by the National Park Services.

Get rid of the evidence, deny anything bad ever happened. I think Family Guy did a joke about this.

[GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard]

Or maybe the national park service should GTFO out managing Battlefield Memorials?

[Michael Ejercito]

I wonder if the people who run Holocaust memorials will get the same idea.

[GILMORE, LVL20 Blowhard]

"FBI Director James Comey claims that his agency thwarted plots to kill people in the United States on Independence Day, but declined to provide details (like whether these "terrorists" were just incompetent boobs being strung along by undercover agents)."

No, but the "incompetent boobs" (and really, why do you hate boobs?) part is probably still germane

The incident they may be referencing could be the "guy who tweeted he planned to attack america on July 4th", who was then drone-striked the same day. Lesson to jihadis = NSA is all up in your twitters, geolocating dat azz. These guys really do half the work themselves.

I can imagine they were playing the 1812 Overture in Drone-Strike HQ, passing beers and hamburgers around, collecting overtime.

[WoodchipperPatriarch]

Drone-Strike HQ

What Obama calls his penis.

[grrizzly]

If Hillary makes it to the White House, so will Huma Abedin

"Huma's influence is so pervasive, and Hillary's dependence on her so total, that it is expected she will have her own bedroom upstairs in the White House," a Clinton associate told OrbMagazine's Richard Turley.

[MJGreen - Docile Citizen]

Why bother with a separate bedroom?

[Antilles]

I like the part where they suggest Huma will likely reside in the same bedroom as Eleanor Roosevelt's lesbian lover.

[Aloysious]

That's Mrs. Weiner, to you.

[Derpetologist]

Michael Savage's real last name is Weiner. I can see why he changed it.

[C. Anacreon]

and he invented RockStar energy drink.

[Igor]

Why yes, what a perfect name for a sex toy.

[Christophe]

Frankly if those rumors are true, I fully expect her to come out of the closet during the general. 2 minorities in one package would be a very effective political move.

[ant1sthenes]

So, Ms. Abedin will become notorious for having a bed in the White House? And she used to married to a dick flashing politician named Wiener?

Guys, I'm telling you, this shit isn't an actual reality. I swear to Asherah, someone is just naming these characters for fun.

[Rasilio]

FBI Director James Comey claims that his agency thwarted plots to kill people in the United States on Independence Day, but declined to provide details

So Jeff Goldblum finally got that virus uploaded to the Alien Motherships mainframe?