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weekly contests

Reason Weekly Contest: Give Donald Trump a Slogan

Last week's winners revealed.

Lenore Skenazy | 6.19.2015 12:01 PM

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Welcome back to the Reason Weekly Contest! This week's question is:

Donald Trump is throwing his hair…excuse me…his hat into the ring. Please come up with a slogan for his candidacy.

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name, city, and state. This week, kindly type "TRUMP" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Monday, June 22. Winners will appear Friday, June 26, right here at Reason.com.

In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason Magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!

And now for the results last week's contest: We asked you to come up with the opening sentence of the next "helpful warning" Facebook post to go viral.

FIRST PRIZE: There is a scam going around where people pretend to take selfies but are actually taking YOUR picture and advertising you to rape gangs! — Ernie Brandon, Cornell CA

SECOND PLACE: Have you seen those Scouts selling popcorn at the mall? — Jon Marler, Pflugerville, TX

THIRD PLACE: Pay attention—my delusion story could save your life! — James Shields

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

I think the decorative feathers being sold at Joann's Fabrics are from an illegal cockfighting ring in the basement! — Adriana Gerard, Philadelphia

WARNING! Last night while driving home from the grocery store, I pulled up to a red light. A police cruiser pulled up next to me and as I looked over, I accidentally made eye contact with the "officer" in the car. The light turned green and as I drove on, I noticed the cruiser had gotten behind me and proceeded to follow me all the way to the entrance of my neighborhood. He sped on passed me as I turned in, but later that night I noticed another police car cruising through my neighborhood.

DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH FAKE POLICEMEN BECAUSE IT IS A SIGNAL TO THEM THAT YOU CAN BE KIDNAPPED AND SOLD INTO THE SEX TRADE.

PLEASE SHARE AND LET'S PUT A STOP TO THIS MENACE — Curt Dumal, Ocean Springs, MS

Don't stop, don't slow down! Child carjackers are now using errant basketballs to trap motorists, and the police said I got very lucky yesterday… — Dan McKee, Tallahassee, FL

Your pediatrician may give your child cancer. —Andy Walker, Nashville, TN

DO YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS BREATHING YOUR AIR? — Michele Ann Jenkins, Montreal, PC

Today was a giant eye opener for me—again! — Joel Kimball

And a few more from Ernie Brandon, Cornell, CA: 

Bank employees use ATM videos and card information to find rape targets! 

I knew that pedophile in front of my daughter's school wasn't really just some waiting dad because he wore a black hoodie and kept checking his iPhone!

DO NOT leave dogs unattended in cars even on cool days because homeless people will steal and eat them.

Start your day with Reason. Get a daily brief of the most important stories and trends every weekday morning when you subscribe to Reason Roundup.

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NEXT: Steven Greenhut on a Market Solution to the California Water Shortage

Lenore Skenazy is president of Let Grow, a nonprofit promoting childhood independence and resilience, and founder of the Free-Range Kids movement.

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  1. sarcasmic   10 years ago

    The rug stops here.

  2. fleshy wavefunction   10 years ago

    "A Great Wall for a Greater America"

    1. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

      "Donald Trump, Fuck Yeah! Comin' again to save the motherfuckin' day, yea!"

  3. A Self-Identified $park?   10 years ago

    Get out you dirty Mexicans!

    1. fleshy wavefunction   10 years ago

      Mexico, YOU'RE FIRED!

      1. fleshy wavefunction   10 years ago

        ... Although I assume some of you are good people, i.e. not rapists.

        1. Spencer   10 years ago

          yes, of course, the white rich ones in mexico city are fine.

      2. Chipper Morning Wood   10 years ago

        "...and so I ask all Brown-Americans to vote for me, and no one else. Because I know that you are not all rapists."

  4. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

    DO NOT leave dogs unattended in cars even on cool days because homeless people will steal and eat them.

    And this wasn't first place?

    1. Spencer   10 years ago

      Because that's a REAL danger.

  5. Florida Man   10 years ago

    Trump: At least he's not Episiarch.

    1. Almanian - Wood Chipper-ish   10 years ago

      I approve this message.

    2. perlchpr   10 years ago

      Are you sure?

  6. Rasilio   10 years ago

    Isn't it obvious?

    Vote for me or you're fired

    1. Rasilio   10 years ago

      Hell, he could make it the whole centerpiece of his campaign and make the whole thing about how he is the only candidate with enough business accumen to get America back to work and navigate the threacherous financial waters we are facing and voting for anyone else will decimate the American economy and lead to the loss of the voters jobs.

      So vote for Trump or you're fired**.

      ** Please note, I do not actually believe any of that to be true but done right it would be a highly effective campaign strategy

      1. Spencer   10 years ago

        he could make the case that he can walk us through our impending bankruptcy.

  7. Spencer   10 years ago

    "America, if you vote for me I will be the leader your deserve."

    1. fleshy wavefunction   10 years ago

      +1 Joseph de Maistre

  8. Sudden   10 years ago

    Trump/Nicole 2016: Why Not The Worst?

    1. Spencer   10 years ago

      "What, me worry?"

  9. SteveF   10 years ago

    Oh Man, I thought I'd at least get an honorable mention with "Unlicensed child lemonade stands are funding ISIS terror cells in the U.S."

    1. Spencer   10 years ago

      you'd have to say they were funneling money back to syria- or funding rape gang vans.

    2. commodious spittoon   10 years ago

      Lemonade stands cause child predators.

    3. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

      I thought that was great, Steve.

  10. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

    There's a Cornell in CA now?

    1. UnCivilServant   10 years ago

      Why not, there's an Ontario in California. I think Newegg has a warehouse there.

      1. Juvenile Bluster   10 years ago

        And an airport that ends up being cheaper to fly into than LAX (or even Burbank), at least the few times I've had to book travel to southern California. Yay for Southwest Airlines.

  11. Contrarian P   10 years ago

    "Trump: already a self obsessed, power mad asshole with a contempt for the law. No on the job training required! Ready from day one!"

    Might be a little long for a bumper sticker or button though. I'll work on it.

    1. Sevo   10 years ago

      "Trump! As slimy as any politico!"
      Better?

      1. prolefeed   10 years ago

        Trump: because why wait for lowered expectations?

        1. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

          Nice.

  12. Juvenile Bluster   10 years ago

    "A chicken in every pot, and a woodchipper in every garage"

  13. WoodchipsandDerp   10 years ago

    "Da Chineze Tuk Yer Jobz"

  14. sarcasmic   10 years ago

    "Pink ties for everyone!"

  15. A Self-Identified $park?   10 years ago

    What is it going to take to get you into a new America today?

  16. adolphowisner   10 years ago

    I buy almost everything except food and clothing from online auctions most people arenâ????t aware of the almost I unbelievable deals that they can get from online auction sites the site that has the best deals is
    BEST PROFIT DEAL CHECK ,,,,,,,,,,,,, http://www.workweb40.com

  17. Charles Easterly   10 years ago

    Tired of recessions and economic slumps?
    It's time to get America back on track.
    Vote for a record of success. Vote for Trump.

  18. yet another dave   10 years ago

    "Argle Bargle MURICA Gargle fargle Gak"
    vote for Trump

  19. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

    "The best thing about America is me"

  20. Agammamon   10 years ago

    "Trump. Again."

  21. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    Bump a lump for Trump!

  22. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    America, it is time for you to evacuate the Washington establishment and take a dump for Trump

  23. The Shrubber's Woodchipper   10 years ago

    'Trump - I win!'

  24. Hittman   10 years ago

    We've tried presidents who were evil. We've tried presidents who were corrupt. We've tried presidents who were stupid. Isn't it time we changed course? Let's try Batshit Crazy next.

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