United Kingdom

Brickbat: Banned in Colchester



The Cherry Tree Primary School in Colchester, England, has directed teachers to look through students' lunches and make sure their parents haven't sent scotch eggs or Peparami sausages for them to eat. Officials say those foods aren't healthy.

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  1. Ridiculous. First off Scotch eggs taste amazing. (for those unfamiliar it’s a hard boiled egg covered in sausage, and I think a bit of breading, and comes with a tasty mustard sauce.) Second eggs are pretty much one of the healthiest foods in existence, why on Earth would they have an issue with that? Third what are they going to replace it with it? A bowl of cereal with zero nutrition, and a ton of carbs and sugar?

    What next stealing a kid’s carrot and replacing it with a cookie?

    1. Not a cookie, but close.

      “….and there were other people around [a student whose scotch eggs had been confiscated by the food nazis] having cakes provided by the school as part of the dinners.”

    2. Depending on who you ask, eggs are terrible for you because cholesterol or something…

      Personally, I don’t buy it. My cholesterol levels and blood pressure are normal and eggs have been a cornerstone of my breakfast for years.

      1. Dietary cholesterol doesn’t cause blood cholesterol.

        1. ^^ something that took a while for me to learn and definitely NOT from the FDA

          1. Runny egg yolks have plenty of lecithin, which helps to break down cholesterol and prevent it from caking up your arteries.

            1. Runny yolks are also inedible, so a different source may be required.

              1. Eh? Never had eggs over easy?

                1. I always eat fried eggs with runny yolks.

                  1. You, sir, have problems. Yes, I have had eggs that the chef deliberately undercooked before, and quite frankly every exposure to to less than properly solidified yolks further reinforces my opinion that runny yolks are inedible.

                    1. Breakfast with you must be a bloody treat.

                    2. Yeah – runny yolks most of the time, mashed up with the bacon that I’ve crumbled, on top of a piece of toast or an English muffin….NOMNOMNOMNOM….so good

            2. Lecithin is not the issue, and there’s just as much of that in egg yolks even if they aren’t runny. If lecithin were a factor, it’d be an adverse one as it helps the body absorb cholesterol.

              The real deal is that the amount of cholesterol in normal food is only a small contribution to the cholesterol thruput of the body. Other dietary factors make a greater contribution to the amount of cholesterol in circulation of even those who react strongly to diet.

              You can experimentally raise cholesterol & induce atherosclerosis by feeding lots of butter & eggs to mice, whose diet rarely would be so rich otherwise.

      2. “When I was a lad I ate 4 dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. Now that I’m grown I eat 5 dozen eggs and I’m roughly the size of a barge!”- Gaston.

        1. Gaston: Le Fou, you know I’ve been thinking

          Le Fou: A dangerous pastime…

          Gaston: …I know

    3. Scotch egg is way more nutritious – protein and fat with no sugar.

      The British are retarded.

      1. The British are retarded.

        On this, the science is, indeed, settled.

      2. Agreed. PLUS- Scotch eggs are amazingly, wonderfully delicious.

  2. “They were created almost 300 years ago by Fortnum & Mason as a pocket-sized snack for aristocrats travelling by horse-drawn carriage.”

    What’s wrong with them, you ask? they were made by rich old white men for the aristocracy, that’s what!

    1. Scotch Eggs – Crispy Sausage-Wrapped Soft Cooked Egg – How to Make Scotch Eggs

      Wait, you mean you don’t just raid the nests of the Scots?

      1. Also, what self-respecting grocery store doesn’t sell sausage meat without the casing?

        1. All that work ruined in the end because they failed to fully cook their eggs. Poor YouTube chef.

  3. But now the scotch egg has been labelled a junk food and is being removed from children’s lunch boxes by schoolteachers.

    Like taking candy from a baby. Trouble is, there will be a lot of fat schoolteachers or a lot of wasted food, neither of which is good for the environment.

  4. Groundskeeper Willy has narrowed his gaze.

  5. I don’t care much for eggs,but I do like scotch

    1. Normally, there’s no scotch in scotch eggs.

      1. There would be in mine.

      2. And wash them down with a stout or porter.

        1. So… Great Boo’s Up?

          1. This is why I come to H&R ,people are always coming up with new ideas.. Caution do not operate a wood chipper after consuming real scotch eggs and stout.( or porter )

            1. I wasted a perfectly good Blackadder reference.

              1. Is that anything like a puff adder?

                1. What’s a Back Ladder?

                2. He needs to meet a Pilbara Death Adder; put the pedantry down for good.

              2. Blackadder: Well, it is said, Percy, that civilised man seeks out good and intelligent company, so that through learned discourse he may rise above the savage and closer to God.

                Lord Percy: Yes, I’ve heard that.

                Blackadder: Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total dickhead to remind me I’m best.

              3. “I wasted a perfectly good Blackadder reference.”

                And did you have a cunning plan to do so, dogsbody?

  6. Kids might hide flakka in those eggs, though

    1. +1 fast zombies

  7. Saw in the news the conservative government tell Canadians Health Canada is looking at the decision by the United States to ban trans fat and will make a decision based on ‘science’.

    They will use ‘science’ to ban shit for our own good.

    We’re not going down a good path anywhere in the West looks like.

    1. The term ‘science’, when employed by the state, has come to be a buzzword totally devoid of value, much like ‘green’ or ‘safety’.
      Attach any of these buzzwords to a proclamation or any other corporate/government communication, and you can pretty much write it off as useless propaganda.

      The Feds in Canada are wizards at this shit, and the lemmings eat it up.

      1. And I’m convinced the ministers – in this case Rona Ambrose – just take the info. and uncritically pimp and pass it off to the people….because science!

        1. Rona Ambrose has a mighty authority boner, for a woman.

          1. Not that there’s everything wrong with that…

  8. And I – being a bagpiper and of Scottish descent – have never, ever, eaten a Scotch egg. Haggis – yes. Love it.

    Scotch egg? I believe I now am forced to try one. For the children.

  9. Those Scots (ch). Always trying to fuck with an Englishman’s diet.

    1. English food is nothing to crow about.But Samuel Smith oat meat stout makes up for it.

  10. I have gone to “The Old Toad” (a British-style pub) in Rochester and eaten 3 scotch eggs for dinner. They are delicious.

  11. What’s unhealthy about Scotch eggs?

  12. Oh. I thought maybe they had real Scotch.

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