Angela Merkel Most Powerful Woman in the World Again, Hamas Tortured, Killed Palestinians, Switzerland Arrests FIFA Officials on U.S. Corruption Charges: A.M. Links

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  • JABMW14/flickr

    Forbes named Angela Merkel the world's most powerful woman for the fifth year in a row. Hillary Clinton came in second, and Taylor Swift also made the list.

  • Amnesty International has accused Hamas of torturing and slaughtering Palestinians in Gaza, which it controls. Israel launched airstrikes into Gaza in retaliation for a rocket attack originating from the Palestinian territory.
  • The State Council of China released a policy document expanding the role of the navy as the country continues activity in the disputed South China Sea. The Chinese state-run news agency Xinhua says the country's newest military strategy hinges on "peaceful development."
  • Authorities in Switzerland arrested several FIFA soccer officials on U.S. charges of corruption, intending to have them extradited.
  • The city of Olympia says it can't employ body cameras for its police officers until Washington state legislators clarify the privacy laws surrounding them.
  • Lawyers for the estate of B.B. King called allegations by King's family that the 89-year-old blues musician was poisoned "baseless."
  • There will be a Point Break remake.

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  1. There will be a Point Break remake.

    Keanu still looks basically the same. Busey too. Just saying.

    1. Will this one have wall-to-wall rock music?

      1. Are they going to float Bodi into a scene strapped to his surf board?

        1. That would be awesome. “Bhodi survived the monster wave!!! Whooohooo Brah!”

          1. Uh, you know the actor who played Bodi is dead, right?

            1. Uhhh… That’s why they’re gonna float him.

              1. Thanks bob. You have to walk Brett through things like this. Do I need to explain how “ghost II” is going to work?

                1. But Bodi didn’t survive, then. He was just recovered.

                  1. The quality of acting would be the same , either way.

                    1. You take that back. No one puts Bodhi in the corner.

                2. Ghost II. I lol’d

            2. I’ve just seen that character’s name spelled three different ways. Are you all John sock puppets or sumpin?

              1. Stop othering Bodi, Bhodi, Bohdi.

                1. and Bodhi.

    2. “OK, Chief, I hear rumors that a daring gang of bank robbers is working the beach volleyball circuit. Can you assign me to work undercover, in the guise of a beach volleyball player, and catch the crooks?”

      “Nice try, Johnson, now get back to work on those financial fraud cases.”

      1. I read that with lots of unnecessary pauses.

        1. Switching between Reeves and Shatner

    3. Hello.

      “Amnesty International has accused Hamas of torturing and slaughtering Palestinians in Gaza, which it controls.”

      The Jews made them do it?

      1. Is that you, Richman?

      2. All zionist lies, everyone knows that Hamas is a humanitarian organization

    4. What made the original fun was seeing the Presidents of the United States rob a bank.

  2. Americans: here is how much of your life has been spent with our country at war. Now think about how living in Switzerland would be so much preferable.

      1. Do or die tonight.

        Fancy your chances?

        1. No, I do not… I think my playoff beard comes off tomorrow morning.

          Next year they will have jettisoned some deadwood, and have better young defensemen up.

          1. Buck up, we got this. I’m not going to the game tonight so we will win.

      2. No, I mean it. When I visited Switzerland a few years ago I was actually struck by how.nice it must be to live in a country that isn’t at war with anyone.

    1. No way. They make you keep a gun in the house.

    2. And don’t forget this:
      http://www.washingtonsblog.com…..-1776.html

    3. Funny, I seem to remember being sent on two combat deployments (Honduras ’88, Panama ’89) during one of those listed peace periods.

      1. Yeah, they mention that there are some criteria for what they consider a “war” such that Panama, Kosovo, etc don’t qualify. I say that’s BS.

  3. Hillary Clinton came in second, and Taylor Swift also made the list.

    Hilldog/T-Swag 2016

    1. Vote or Die (in her arms tonight)

      1. It must have been something she said.

        1. Should have walked away.

    2. Forbes named Angela Merkel the world’s most powerful woman

      Oprah is pissed!

  4. There will be a Point Break remake.

    Point Break 2: Electric Breakaloo?

    1. *considers narrowing gaze, instead begins polite applause*

    2. The people who made Breakin’ and Breakin’ 2 also made Lambada.

      Just saying.

      1. You mean “THE FORBIDDEN DANCE”?

        1. Which would have been so much better if they just went for the whole Skinemax softcore thing.

      2. They also brought us the power and majesty that is Ice T. In ski goggles, no less.

  5. Beware, self-pleasurers! Allah will curse you with a hand-baby!

    1. It’s still OK to use a melon, though, right?

      1. Cabbage Patch Kids…

        Just sayin’

    2. This sort of smug attitude is why no one like you atheists.

      1. Actually I consider myself to be something of a masturbation evangelist.

    3. Hands? Doesn’t this guy know about the dirty sock?

      1. I dunno, buy he sure as hell doesn’t know about eggs.

        1. Socks lay eggs?

          1. Yes. If you’ve ever pulled off a sock and found ridges on your skin, that’s from the eggs it laid just below the surface. Don’t worry, they usually hatch painlessly.

          2. Socks lay eggs?

            Do we really need to post the link to the other night’s Tulpafest again?

    4. I still don’t understand this deity of there’s that makes someone want to do something, and then punishes them for doing it. Seems a bit evil to me.

      1. If God didn’t mean for me to masturbate He would have made my arms shorter.

        1. Why do you think the T Rex was always in a foul mood?

        2. The whole purpose of the head is to keep your hand from slipping off and giving yourself a black eye.

          That’s evolution.

      2. Human nature is a sin, and we offer the only absolution. People use this scam so often because it works.

        1. It does work even people who know the scam fall for it when you wrap it in a different package. I find it funny when I see Progs at work bitching about fundamentalist Christians and then they buy into all the environmentalism and carbon credits bullshit.

          1. “But your tithes and indulgences are the wrong ones. Ours are based in sciences of sorts. BURN HEATHENS!!!!!”

            -Progderp

        2. I have a really hard time with religion, just because of the induced guilt. What a waste of mental effort.
          But I was raised catholic so the guilt thing still gets to me.

      3. Deity of *theirs*?

        ‘They’ being the Catholics? Protestants? Mormons? Puritans? (list continues for three pages)

        1. Theirs as in anyone who believes in and worships a god they honestly believe will punish you for masturbating of all things. The individual’s specific religion isn’t that important.

      4. If God doesn’t punish you for having fun, everbody else will.

        1. What if God were one of us? I’m sorry.

          1. Just a slob like one of us?

            1. Just a stranger on the bus, trying to make his way home?

              1. You people are ass-holes!

    5. Oof, my link wasn’t even close.

    6. I don’t recall Dante saying anything about that.

    7. So it’s not just blindness that happens from masturbation?

  6. Amnesty International has accused Hamas of torturing and slaughtering Palestinians in Gaza, which it controls.

    I blame the Jews.

    1. You know who else… ah nevermind.

        1. Don’t tell me what to do.

        2. You know who else was unable to complete what they had started?

          1. Yeah, I know, it was…oh, never mind.

          2. Mel Tillis?

            1. I laughed at that. Then I felt ashamed for laughing at that. Then I realized that is just the sort of joke Mel Tillis likes. Now I’m gonna watch The Cannonball Run for the umpteenth time.

          3. my first girlfriend?

          4. At least Michael Phelps could finish a race.

            1. *buzzes in* What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?

          5. Every department of transportation ever

  7. Amnesty International has accused Hamas of torturing and slaughtering Palestinians in Gaza, which it controls.

    Sheldon Richman hardest hit.

    Authorities in Switzerland arrested several FIFA soccer officials on U.S. charges of corruption, intending to have them extradited.

    Swiss Servator mildly peeved.

    1. Sheldon Richman hardest hit.

      Sheldon sees this as more evidence of Israeli genocide against the Palestinians.

      1. Ah yes Sheldon Richman. The reason I don’t tell my friends about Reason. He is to Libertarianism what the preacher warning about the sins of masturbation is to Christianity.

          1. If the worst we had to worry about from Islam was some preacher warning against masturbation the world would be a far more peaceful place.

    1. “How many stocks are we talking about here?

      “Oh, *live* stock. In that case, get out of here with your sexist ways.”

    2. Thanks db, first good laugh of the morning.

    3. There is no sugar coating it, Obamba is going to get taken by Johnny Lingo big time…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfahoLfrddU

    4. True story – when my college girlfriend was 16, her parents took her to Morocco on vacation. She claims a man offered her father 200 camels for her. I said, “wow, that’s a whole carton!”

    5. “”I got interested in her in 2008,” Kiprono said, in an interview with The Nairobian newspaper.

      “At that time President Obama was running for office for the first time and Malia was a 10-year-old.

      “”As a matter of fact, I haven’t dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price,” he said.”

      Just in case you thought he was being creepy or something.

    6. He’ll trade her for some magic beans?

    7. Does he also have $10 million in a Swiss bank account, and he just needs a coupla grand to release it?

      1. Heck, I can do that for ya…for $200.

  8. Life on a fast food worker’s salary: The struggles of surviving on a minimum wage are documented in a series of bleak photo diaries

    ‘I,Too, Am America’ is a photographic exhibit that shows the lives of minimum wage workers in order to promote the fight for higher wages
    In collaboration with photojournalist Steve Hebert, 16 fast-food workers took more than 4,000 photos on their phones
    The pictures document their life at work and home, showing the long hours and financial hardships these people face
    Project comes as fast-food workers across the nation are fighting for higher wages

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..oject.html
    Boo fucking hoo. Fucking slobs. Clean up your home and clean up your life, then you might find yourself worth more than minimum wage to an employer.

    1. Melinda Robinson, who works at subway, shared a photo of her family with I, Too, Am America. Many minimum wage workers have families to support, though they make little money

      Why do you have a bunch of kids when you are only making minimum wage? Other people shouldn’t be forced to pay for your bad choices in life.

      1. YOU LACK COMPASSION YOU CARELESS CLASSICAL LIBERALS ALL OF YOU!

        Also. Why isn’t ‘compassionless’ a word?

        1. Well, because “heartless” is already available.

          1. Yeah but it doesn’t help with the alliterative form.

            1. Just say Libertarian. People will know what you mean.

            2. True. We don’t all care about alliteration a lot.

      2. Why do you have a bunch of kids when you are only making minimum wage?

        Who can afford birth control when you are only making minimum wage?

        1. True, condoms are terribly expensive. They might have to get a plan with less data for their smart phones.

          1. Yeah, and how many have HD tvs and at least one game consule.

            1. Pretty much all of them, from my experience.

      3. One person’s fecundity constitutes a claim on everyone else. If you disagree, you must want babies to starve. This is what a frightening number of people actually believe.

        1. *cough*Eddie*cough*

      4. I noticed she had FIVE kids. Anyone want to give odds they’re from 4-5 different daddies?

    2. In ten years we’ll get photo spreads of the hard lives of fast food robots.

      1. “This poor automated burger system is left running twenty-four hours a day, six and a half days a week, only allowed a break to be cleaned and sanitized before the next bout of burger-making. It goes unpaid for its labors.”

        1. “3 generations of robots sharing one shipping container”

      2. In ten years we’ll get photo spreads of the hard lives of fast food robots.

        I sure hope so because I’ve had about all I can take from these whiners.

    3. If you knowingly bring a kid in this world when you have a shit job or no job, then you are a piece of shit deserving of scorn, not sympathy.

    4. I find this shit extremely insulting to people who actually have lived on minimum wage before. It’s actually not that difficult, just live within your fucking means. I’ve done it before, and I’m sure a lot of other posters here have as well.

      1. Ding! Occasionally when I feel “broke” I try to remember what my 20s were like, scraping together enough to get to the bar. It didn’t happen very often I can tell you that.

        1. Yup. Being able to buy a twelve pack of Schaefer’s beer every Friday night was the big luxury item in my budget.

          1. I would get that Red Dog shit. $5.99 a 12 pack. Tasted like shit, but cheeeeep.

            1. Milwaukee’s Best Ice: $8.99 for a 30-pack. Quite possibly the worst beer on the planet, but it got you good and wasted right quick.

              1. Old Style at 9.99 for a 12 pack recently.

      2. I haven’t been paid minimum wage since my first job in high school. Hell, even when I was a dishwasher at a Mexican restaurant I was able to demand more than minimum wage.

      3. just live within your fucking means.

        This is why I hate pretty much all of my boss’s bankruptcy clients.

      4. I have lived on peanuts – literally – because that was the biggest bang for my buck after paying the weekly rent in a boarding house. I didn’t have time to pump out kids or whine to some website about how horrible my life was. God damn these people piss me off.

    5. 16 fast-food workers took more than 4,000 photos on their phones

      Maybe it’s the cell phone bills? What kinda data plan does it take to send 250 photos?

      1. Everyone has a basic human right to a smart phone with a generous data plan!

      2. I use Consumer Cellular, and I pay $5/month for 150MB data (I try to limit data use to WiFi connections) and 1500 texts. Sending a picture counts as a text.

      3. Maybe it’s that they’re taking pictures instead of working

      4. Am I the only one in the world with a cheap phone plan with truly unlimited data? T-mobile, 2 lines, 1000 minutes, unlimited data at almost 15-20 mbps, $100/mo.

        1. I mean that’s my whole bill. The plan is like $89.

          1. At minimum wage, that would be close to 1/6 of your take home pay.

            Something mentioned about living within your means.

        2. I’m on T-mobile too. 100 minutes, unlimited data and text, $30 per month. Don’t care about the minutes since I can use data calling.

        3. Yeah, I wouldn’t call $100 “cheap”. I remember dropping my own phone when the charges started pushing $50 a month because for me it was just throwing money out the window. Luckily my work gave me a Blackberry around the same time…

    6. 16 fast-food workers took more than 4,000 photos on their phones

      Exemplary employees, obviously. They not only had time during work to take dozens of selfies but also all had cell phones. Oh, the humanity!!

      1. It is almost comically insulting, isn’t it.

  9. Outrage after US Marine is convicted by a court martial for refusing to remove a Bible quote from her work station

    Lance Corporal Monifa Sterling was convicted in February 2014 at a court martial after not following orders to take down verse from her work station
    The passage from the Old Testament was taped to the computer on her desk and read: ‘No weapons formed against me shall prosper’
    Sterling was given a reduction in rank from lance corporal to private, and she was also given a bad conduct discharge
    Religious liberty law firm, Liberty Institute, and former US Solicitor General Paul Clement have taken up her case and filed an appeal
    They plan to argue that a law protecting free exercise of religion should have been applied to her case
    Sterling is now unemployed and searching for a job

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..puter.html
    As an atheist I fail to see how anyone could be offended by that unless they’re a total pussy who doesn’t belong in the Marines.

    1. God no longer has a hard on for Marines.

      1. Because we no longer keep heaven packed with fresh souls. God was here before the Marine Corps, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the corps.

    2. Agreed. It’s her work station. Unless no personal effects are allowed at all, I don’t see the problem.

      1. Maybe they were looking for an excuse to discipline her?

        1. Always a probability.

          1. It’s always this. Despite the headlines, these things aren’t really about the initial offense, but about the refusal to follow orders or other actions afterwards. Kelly Flynn didn’t get the boot for fucking around (I knew her, she was a hoehr of the highest order) but for disregarding being told to cut it out. It’s the military, if your sgt tells you to move something you fucking do it, esp in the Marines.

          2. I’m thinking there is more to this story.

            1. I’m thinking there is more to this story.

              Yep. Who walks around with an encyclopedic knowlege of bible verses without approving their appearance on a workstation?

        2. That depends what does she look like?

      2. It said that they are allowed to decorate their workstations. So this was all about some thin skinned anti-religionist pussy being offended by a sentence pulled from an old book. People like that deserve nothing but ridicule.

        1. Do defendants at courts-martial have the 6A right to know who’s accusing them? Name the fucker who turned her in.

    3. and she was also given a bad conduct discharge

      Isn’t that a bit harsh? I would think the reduction in rank and an honorable discharge would be appropriate*.

      *If you are going to discharge her.

      1. Yeah, I was struck by the Big Chicken Dinner too.

        I can’t believe she just didn’t get some sort of Office Hours with possibly a reduction in rank and the loss of a month’s pay.

        The nice thing about the Marines is that a hit like that isn’t the career terminating event it is in other services like the Air Force. It is sort of expected that you will do something to fuck up and lose a stripe at some point in your career. It shows spirit.

        My guess is that this WM is a colossal fuck up that they were looking for something to discharge her for, or she crossed paths with a particularly thin skinned officer.

        Officers in the Corps can be just as prickly about not being obeyed as a cop.

        1. Officers in the Corps can be just as prickly about not being obeyed as a cop.

          So that’s why all the marines/ex-marines I knew were such raging assholes (except the one guy whose career didn’t go past bottom of the pile whose only tale of the service was drinking beer on a carrier in the persian gulf).

          They were so unfit for civilian life that at least one project group I was in started completely ignoring the guy and not inviting him to meetings because of his “My way only!” attitude. (We got much more done without him interrupting the process).

          1. Disclaimer – my sample size is three people.

            1. That kind of conflicts with the fair number of jarheads I know…. you have no idea how hard that was to type.

              /Army

              1. My experience as well, I tend to run into more dyed-in-the-wool, authoritarian assholes from Navy or AF.

                In the Army, it’s the people who grow up straight AG, MI, or Chemical.

                They all seem to have a combination of inferiority complex, and no understanding of what leadership really is. i.e. BOSSY.

                1. The MI I knew were a split – BOSSY or WEIRD.

                2. i.e. BOSSY

                  SECKSISS!!1!1!!

              2. Swiss, you might like this. I thought change of command ceremonies were dry and formal things.

                http://www.adn.com/slideshow/p…..ge-command

                **Slideshow alert**

                1. Yeah, the Alaska, Hawaii and Puerto Rico Natn’l Guards are a bit…different. I won’t even go into Texas…

          2. I work with two former Marines, and they’re normal enough. Granted they’re in their 50s, so they’ve had time to acclimate to society.

        2. She was referred to court martial because she decided against the Article 15 and opted to play for fuck-fuck games by representing herself at her trial for disobeying lawful orders.

          1. Yeah, you never voluntarily go to court martial.

            So it is sounding like she is a real fuckup. This is just the thing they decided to ring her up on.

          2. The BCD was still too much for what was stated in the article. Something else here.

          3. A special court-martial consisting of officer and enlisted
            members convicted the appellant, contrary to her pleas, of
            failing to go to her appointed place of duty, disrespect towards
            a superior commissioned officer, and four specifications of
            disobeying the lawful order of a noncommissioned officer (NCO),
            in violation of Articles 86, 89, and 91, Uniform Code of
            Military Justice, 10 U.S.C. ?? 886, 889, and 891.

            Like I said above, it’s not the initial offense that brings the hammer, but the choices made after the fact.

            1. In August of 2013, the appellant was on limited duty for a
              hip injury and wore a back brace and TENS unit during working
              hours. 3 The medical documentation (chit) included a handwritten
              note stating that “[w]earing charlies & TENS unit 4 will be
              difficult, consider allowing her to not wear charlies.” 5 The
              uniform of the day on Fridays for the appellant’s command was
              the service “C” uniform and when the appellant arrived at work
              on a Friday in her camouflage utility uniform, SSgt Morris
              ordered her to change into service “C” uniform. The appellant
              refused, claiming her medical chit exempted her from the uniform
              requirement. After speaking with medical, SSgt Morris again
              ordered the appellant to change into the service “C” uniform.
              The appellant again refused. SSgt Morris then brought the
              appellant to First Sergeant (1stSgt) Robinson who repeated the
              order. Again, the appellant refused.

            2. On 12 September 2013, 1stSgt Robinson ordered the appellant
              to report to the Pass and Identification building at the front
              gate on Sunday, 15 September 2013, from 1600 until approximately
              1930 to help distribute vehicle passes to family members of
              returning deployed service members. This was a duty the
              appellant had performed before. The appellant refused, showing
              1stSgt Robinson a separate medical chit that she had been
              provided to treat a “stress reaction.” This chit recommended
              that the appellant be exempted from standing watch and
              performing guard duty. 6 Additionally, on 03 September 2013, the
              appellant was prescribed a medication to help prevent the onset
              of migraine headaches.

            3. On 13 Sept 2013, the appellant was ordered to report to
              Major (Maj) Flatley. When she did so, Maj Flatley ordered the
              appellant to report to Pass and Identification on 15 September
              2103 to issue vehicle passes and ordered her to take the passes
              with her. The appellant told Maj Flatley that she would not
              comply with the order to report and refused to accept the
              passes. On 15 September 2013, the appellant did not report as
              ordered.

              Um, yeah, b-bye POS

              1. Thank you for the Paul Harvey.

  10. Taco Bell and Pizza Hut to get rid of artificial colors and flavors… but Doritos-flavored shells won’t change

    Pizza Hut will remove artificial colors and preservatives by end of July
    Taco Bell says it will take out artificial colors, artificial flavors, high-fructose corn syrup and unsustainable palm oil from its food by the end of 2015
    Move won’t affect fountain drinks or items like Doritos-flavored taco shells
    Facing pressure from smaller rivals branded as wholesome alternatives
    New recipes being tested and should be in stores nationally by end of year

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ooted.html
    I’m at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell

    1. I wonder if any of those change will stop Taco Bell from turning colons into railguns.

      1. “…turning colons into railguns.”

        *DoD offical perks up*

        1. The dangers of unsustainable palm oil is going to tear this country apart.

          1. I hate unsustainable palm oil! Nothing more frustrating that having to relube half way through a good tug session.

      2. I never had that problem with Taco Bell. Chinese buffet on the other hand…

        1. I had to stop eating Taco Bell years ago. It was like being possessed by a dark voodoo god.

          1. If you’d stop offending the dark powers, you wouldn’t be cursed so often.

            1. Taureau-trois-graines will tear out your blasphemous tongue.

          2. I dont know why anyone would want to eat taci bell when you can make the same thing at home a thousand times better in 15 minutes. That includes making the fresh Guac.

            1. You have already been disqualified as a culinary pundit for eating guacamole.

            2. fresh Guac

              CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!!!!!

              *hisses*

    2. It’s HEALTH FOOD!

    3. Pizza Bell. Taco Hut.

      1. I don’t like the combo ones. You get less options of the place you really wanted to eat.

    4. How is palm oil unsustainable?

      1. Look at your palm, just how oily is it? And orphan hands don’t grow back.

        1. Do clones count as orphans? I’m just asking.

      2. It’s a slash and burn sort of operation

      3. The way it’s s harvested. Also, they clear shitloads of rainforest driving orangutans and monkeys off their land.

        1. Fucking monkeys should have thought of that before moving into MY trees…

  11. The pilot who ordered PIZZA for his delayed passengers: Delivery by baggage cart for plane trapped by bad weather

    Inclement weather forced a flight from Philadelphia to Atlanta to land in Knoxville
    Captain had Pizza Hut for the whole plane brought to his passengers while waiting over two hours
    Multiple delayed and diverted flights got similar treatment Tuesday

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-cart.html

    1. “PIZZA” should have been in sneer quotes.

      And if those passengers had been delayed by air traffic control problems, they would have gotten nothing.

    2. I think the word “hero” could be used in this case…

    3. Pizza Hut? Adding torture to torment? Those bastards!

      1. Deep dish?

        1. Pizza Hut doesn’t even rise to the appelation of tomato casserole. It’s a brick of bad grease and fried bread of low calibre, topped with something I can’t even call a sauce and a thin vineer of plastic masquerading as cheese.

      2. I’m amazed the lavatories could handle the extra load.

        1. “Gawd…what the heck was going on in there?”

          /Pump truck at final destination

          1. I think we may have found the plane that dumped shit on that poor girl’s 16th birthday party.

  12. The city of Olympia says it can’t employ body cameras for its police officers until Washington state legislators clarify the privacy laws surrounding them.

    And the state legislators say they can’t do that until the judges explain what the existing laws mean.

    1. My fair city just adopted an administrative policy after a few months worth of talking about it amongst city administrators, police department, and lawyers. I heard a review of the policy by one of the lawyers who helped draft it. Privacy was a big concern, and cams can get turned off depending on the privacy level of the officer (i.e., off in the locker, toilet, etc).

      1. There’s nothing wrong with giving officers an element of discretion in keeping the camera rolling, but the legislation should disallow police testimony if it’s not corroborated by dash or lapel footage. Sure, issue that citation, asshole, but if the confrontation wasn’t captured and the defendant shows up in court it’s getting tossed.

    1. “Stop resisting!”

    2. She was charged with “public bribery” – does that mean offering a bribe where third parties can hear it?

      1. I’m assuming that she was hammered at the time. Most domestic disputes like this involve drinking.

        We seem to have lost our sense of proportion in this country. She’s loud and angry and drunk and being arrested. Is there anything that a loud, angry drunk can yell that should give them a felony? Does “I’ll kill you motherfucker!” screamed at the arresting officer really count as a felony death threat? Or couldn’t we just ignore the rantings of someone who has clearly lost it for the moment?

        The same thing goes for the stupid things kids do. Teens pulling a prank and mooning the school shouldn’t be a sex crime with lifetime registered offender status. We really need to bring the concept of mens rea back into the legal lexicon and evaluate all of this with a healthy dose of common sense.

        1. The courts approve of charge stacking; it increases the likelihood of a plea bargain – thereby saving the effort of a trial.

        2. Let me try and see the cops’ viewpoint – if they don’t report a bribery offer, that could be made to look suspicious.

          1. I mean, the suspect says she offered a bribe, but it’s not in the report…

            1. “She was drunkenly ranting all kinds of crazy shit; I didn’t take it seriously.”

      2. Ah, Monroe. To the locals it’s pronounce MUN-row with double extra emphasis on the first syllable.

    3. #allorificesmatter

    4. I like that she called her boyfriend a bitch.

  13. Authorities in Switzerland arrested several FIFA soccer officials on U.S. charges of corruption…

    First In, First Arrested

    1. US jurisdiction seems tenuous at best, but there are distressingly many William Ropers out there who would say, “Screw the rule of law! These people are morally icky!”

      1. US jurisdiction seems tenuous at best

        The US government always operates on the FYTW principle.

        1. Thing is, in this case, it’s about as clear cut as can be that there was some massive and systemic wrongdoing.

          Also, CONCACAF is headquartered in Miami.

            1. You’re…welcome?

      2. The US investigation concerns media rights in the US (Traffic Sports being the big fish, along with Chuck Blazer, former CONCACAF Gen. Sec. [and massive whale], Jack Warner of T&T and his two boys, and Jeff Webb of Honduras [current CONCACAF Pres., and successor to the already-removed Jack Warner]), among other things that are US-centric.

        The Swiss part of the investigation concerns the fixing of the bid process for 2018 & 2022.

      1. I had never seen that. That is probably the best summary there is.

        Too bad the Net Neutrality clip was next in the queue…

        1. Yeah, he’s hit or miss. His nuke forces one is also a must watch.

          1. A lot more miss.

  14. Authorities in Switzerland arrested several FIFA soccer officials on U.S. charges of corruption, intending to have them extradited.

    Did any officials flop dramatically to the hotel floors and roll around holding their ankles?

  15. Taylor Swift does not sing Party in the USA, that’s super lame Krayewski.

    *Puts on shades, goes to hang out in the Millenialz club*

    1. I kinda think that was the joke.

  16. The State Council of China released a policy document expanding the role of the navy as the country continues activity in the disputed South China Sea. The Chinese state-run news agency Xinhua says the country’s newest military strategy hinges on “peaceful development.”

    As evidence, they included a picture of Mao swimming peacefully in the South China Sea.

  17. Lawyers for the estate of B.B. King called allegations by King’s family that the 89-year-old blues musician was poisoned “baseless.”

    The thrill is gone.

  18. Santorum to rescue GOP!

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..ing-again/

    He is back in!

    1. If Santorum is running, can Weiner be far behind?

      1. Weiner pulled out early.

    2. And does anybody not named Huckabee give a shit?

      1. If things didn’t turn so frothy, they would.

    1. I just can’t even… Where are poor people going to install solar panels? Their landlord’s house?

      1. They can carry them on their back. And haul the storage batteries in a wagon.

    2. What the fuck.

    3. I wonder if there are any other people who have tried that before? If only there were we could ask them how that works out.

    4. Wow. The government giving solar panels to the poor. I think I just heard a million Prog nutting themselves.

    5. “Anyone who is currently living in a neighborhood in California that is classed as disadvantaged is qualified to apply to get the arrays installed.”

      So the few poor people who actually own their homes can turn around and sell the panels. And/or it will be a solar panel giveaway to landlords.

    6. I hope they are dumb enough to buy those solar panels from our local Minnesoda company. I’m tired of subsidizing them.

      http://tinyurl.com/p2zrdqf

      They’ve gotten millions from the state and only have 11 employees (but hey, they thought there would be 22 employees).

      Why don’t we just send the money directly to the employees and cut out this bogus development shit?

      1. I assumed they’d buy them from Musk’s Solar City since he is a rentseeker extraordinaire.

    1. Nice band name.

    2. I wonder if he has lost any of his rats to birds I mean boas?

      http://cheezburger.com/8498341…..-snake-pet

    3. The group responsible for training the rodents is APOPO ? which stands for Anti-Persoonsmijnen Ontmijnende Product Ontwikkeling in Dutch – Anti-Personnel Landmines Detection Product Development in English.

      Never have I been more proud of my Dutch heritage…

      And the best part…No rat has been killed in a minefield!

      Yeah, not that a terrible hazard to humans has been removed, no, that is not the best part….sigh.

      1. I think they mean by no rat setting off a mine, it means no handler has been injured.

    4. I thought for a moment that the rats ran through minefields setting off explosions – rat parts flying all over the place.

      But non-lethal searches are fine, too.

      Seriously, a life-saving, non-plague-related public service. Good for the rats.

      In Soviet Russia, rat smells you!

  19. Stay classy Hoosiers

    http://www.startribune.com/pol…..305148991/

    Woman stabs another in the eye in dispute over last rib at a BBQ.

  20. Masturbation leads to pregnant hands

    A Muslim televangelist has advised male followers to stop masturbating ? because it will leave their hands pregnant in the afterlife.

    1. Must be true. Your hands are late.

      1. He didn’t get his cuticle period.

      2. Better late than pregnant?

    2. Not only is this sickening bigotry, it’s sickening bigotry that has already been posted in this thread.

      That’s strike number two, Assy.

      1. I just assumed we were all big masturbaters and needed the extra warning.

        1. “Go away! Baitin’!”

    3. It’s cool. I’ll pull out.

    4. If your gay, you won’t know who the father is.

      1. Did anybody ask about mouth babies?

        Or butt babies?

        Hmmm…. PB stars in ‘My Two Dads’!

  21. “Authorities in Switzerland arrested several FIFA soccer officials on U.S. charges of corruption, intending to have them extradited.”

    Back in the early to mid 2000s I did some pro bono soccer commentary for a local sports radio (I was brought back by popular demand, if you can believe it) station and one of the topics discussed was the 2002 World Cup. I presented a solid, well-reasoned, researched (not to mention well-known) case about FIFA corruption. The person who followed me on the segment was a long-time sports journalist for a newspapers and when the host asked him about what I said he scoffed and replied, ‘I don’t think FIFA is corrupt’. This from a writer who made a living being a cynical curmudgeon often with little facts to back up his nonsense.

    FIFA under Blatter has been a travesty for the sport.

    1. As if it wasn’t a travesty under Havelange.

      1. True. But Blatter is another cat altogether.

        1. Best quote so far from David Mellor – chairman of the British government’s Football Task Force:

          You expect to find a skeleton in the closet, but at FIFA’s house they are hanging like candelabra all over the place.

          1. Hahah that is good.

            This shitshow is gonna be great if they don’t find a way to sweep it all under the rug.

    2. So the bags of Qatari money were the last straw? At least Loretta Lynch has done us the favor of putting the US permanently out of competition for any future World Cups.

      1. Will they go after the IOC next?

        1. One can hope. Loretta Lynch could drop trou and shit on the original Bill of Rights and I’d still be a fan if she took down the IOC.

          1. Could? You mean she hasn’t already?

      2. So the bags of Qatari money were the last straw?

        Russian, too.

      1. Nanny statism rears its ugly head ~5:00

      2. “Sepp Blatter” – did his parents name him after an Ayn Rand villain?

      3. World Cup stadia one year later. I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

        1. Check your white elephant privilege

    3. “Cynical curmudgeon” with “little facts to back up nonsense”…

      Frank Deford?

  22. Synthetic Cadavers Offer An Equally Creepy Alternative To The Real Thing

    SynDaver’s life-size “Synthetic Human,” costs upward of $40,000 and is made of synthetic “tissue” that shares certain physical and even chemical properties with real flesh — including water, fiber and salt content, according to the company’s website. The cadaver contains hundreds of replaceable muscles, bones, organs, and vessels. Some models can even simulate bleeding and breathing.

    Cadavers on campus. Some schools have explored using synthetic cadavers in their curricula, since the real ones are in limited supply.

    “Many smaller colleges and universities cannot afford a full cadaver lab, and this model, which closely approximates a real cadaver, is very cost effective and on the cutting-edge of the way we can teach anatomy to our students,” Kevin McDade, an instructor of biology at Penn State University, said in a written statement when the cadaver was purchased by the university in January.

    1. I read that as “synthetic catheters” and wondered what a natural catheter would be.

      1. don’t ask, don’t tell

      2. Hollowed out tube worm?

      3. “…wondered what a natural catheter would be.”

        We refer to those as urethras.

      4. Warty knows.

    2. Rule 34

    3. Germans everywhere rejoice

  23. Arizona woman blares siren of friend’s police car at drive thru, arrested for DUI

    An Arizona woman has been charged after she allegedly took her cop friend’s patrol car on a drunken fast food run.

    Elizabeth Jean Moore is accused of driving the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office vehicle to a Jack-in-the-Box burger joint in Chandler on Nov. 2, 2014, ABC15 reported.

    The deputy’s wife was in the passenger seat, while two 12-year-old girls were in the back.

    Police busted Moore after she turned on the siren to show off for a drive-thru worker.

    1. Did they arrest the girls on the way there or something?

    2. Wait how did they know she wasn’t an actual police officer? It’s not like any of her behavior was out of the ordinary for our heroes in blue.

    3. Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office

      Nuff said.

  24. Waffle-maker dispute results in 30 people kicked out of Mason County hotel, police say

    “It sounded like one lady walked up and asked the other lady if she was in line for the waffle maker. She didn’t answer so this lady started to make her waffle. The other confronted her and said, ‘That was my waffle’ and the other lady said, ‘No, it’s mine’ and then it went down hill from there,” Cole said.

    Deputies were dispatched to the hotel and found “a large group of people arguing over the waffle maker,” he said.

    “The property manager asked that everyone be kicked out of the hotel. All parties involved were ordered to collect their items and they left,” Cole said.

    1. Leggo my Eggo bitch

  25. The DoJ has decided to lay off the banks for a while, and start extorting money from international sporting organizations?
    Bernie Ecclestone might want to skip the Texas race.

  26. Cheating English man desperately searches for sex tape he left on bus starring his mistress

    The man phoned up the East Yorkshire Motor Services company in a panicked state last week to try and recover the missing X-rated footage, reports The York Press.

    He confessed it was his girlfriend and not his wife that starred alongside him in the blue movie.

    And he admitted he was absolutely desperate to get the video back.

    1. They still use tape?

      1. It’s the UK. They’re still deciding between VHS and Beta.

        1. They’re expecting to update to Laserdisc by 2018.

  27. BRITNEyYYY!

    Segregationists never went away: We just call them “small-government conservatives” now

    The continuing decline of public sector jobs at local, state, and federal levels is having an abysmal economic impact on African Americans, for whom steady, stable government employment opportunities have provided a sure path into the middle class. The New York Times reported yesterday that “roughly one in five black adults works for the government, teaching school, delivering mail, driving buses, processing criminal justice and managing large staffs.” Because Black people hold a disproportionate number of government jobs, cutbacks that affect everyone hit Black communities even harder.

    In many ways that goes without saying. When America sneezes, Black America gets the flu. But I want to suggest that something even more sinister animates this swift pivot in the country away from an investment in public goods and services. It is not simply that Black people are victims of a numbers game. Rather, there has been a wholesale P.R. campaign on the part of those on the right to associate all public goods and services, from public schools to public assistance, with the bodies of undeserving people of color, particularly Blacks and Latinos.

    1. one more snippet of goodness:

      Any discussion of welfare or public assistance in this country is rife with dog whistles from the right toward the lower elements of their base, who in Pavlovian fashion, respond to code words about welfare and public assistance by conjuring images of the undeserving Black and Brown poor.

      1. Hey dipshit, if you hear the dog whistle, you’re the dog.

    2. The continuing decline of public sector jobs at local, state, and federal levels is having an abysmal economic impact on African Americans, for whom steady, stable government employment opportunities have provided a sure path into the middle class.

      I love how the writer assumes blacks are utterly not worth hiring for productive jobs. It’s a text book example of a racial stereotype based on racial prejudice.

      1. You don’t understand. The prejudiced ones are those who think blacks should be treated like everyone else. Enlightened progressives understand that blacks are inferior and in need of a helping white hand. Anyone who disagrees is racist.

    3. So we can’t get rid of government because government is black people. Totally makes sense.

    4. From New policies discouraging black employment, to “urban renewal,” to government-mandated separation of the races…the history of government helping black people is so impressive only a racist could be skeptical of it!

      1. People lay all of that at the feet of free markets. In the Progressiverse, Queen Carlotta has proclaimed every day as backwards day.

    5. The Shame of Rutgers rides forth once more!

    6. I love how government spending always magically becomes “investment in public goods and services”. Either they are too stupid to understand what an actual investment is, or they are just liars. For The Shame of Rutgers it’s probably a combination of both.

    7. The continuing decline of public sector jobs at local, state, and federal levels

      Since when, you deluded hack?

      If I had Koch levels of money, I’d send a printed out packet of her hate-riddled drivel to every parent of a child that applied to Rutgers.

      1. Since when, you deluded hack?

        Around 2008. Not a huge decrease, but a decrease none the less.

        http://knowledgecenter.csg.org…..ent-trends

        http://www.brookings.edu/blogs…..one-looney

        1. Interesting. You’d think less government jobs would be howled about in more places.

          1. Again, that doesn’t include contractors and you also have to consider that far more people are getting money from the state do to the rapid expansion of food stamp rolls and the fact that the number of people on disability has quadrupled since the recession – which is kind of odd since I was unaware that recessions caused massive numbers of people to lose the ability to use their legs.

            It’s almost like a huge percentage of people on disability are actually engaged in fraud or something.

            1. Their feelings are injured

            2. It’s almost like a huge percentage of people on disability are actually engaged in fraud or something.

              It’s almost like you’re RAYCISS!!!

              /Tulp-Bo

        2. The problem is that they’ve heavily moved in the direction of private contractors, so in order to determine if there had been a decline you would have to look at private contractor rolls as well. For example, Edward Snowden was actually not a government employee since he worked for a private consulting firm. Given that his entire job involved working for the government, using private contractors is a very good way for the government to pretend it’s totally making cuts when in fact it is doing no such thing.

          1. Viscount, I couldn’t find anything for contractor trend info. You could be correct that some agencies are moving that way. I looked only at government jobs as that was the claim and the decline of those. Sugarfree, the reason you don’t hear a lot of howling about the decline is it is occurring because of retirements and not refiling those positions.

    8. Oh wow.

      respond to code words about welfare and public assistance by conjuring images of the undeserving Black and Brown poor.

      Guess I’m a self-hating Uncle Appu or something.

      1. You’re just the wrong shade of brown.

  28. America lost the Cold War: Russia, China and the new autocratic world order

    The United States is not exactly immune from such trends. The state has also become quite illiberal here as its reach and power have been expanded in striking ways. As it happens, however, America’s Gosplan, our state planning committee, comes with a different name: the military-industrial-homeland-security complex. Washington presides over a planet-spanning surveillance system that would have been the envy of the Communist apparatchiks of the previous century, even as it has imposed a global economic template on other countries that enables enormous corporate entities to elbow aside local competition. If the American tradition of liberalism and democracy was once all about “the little guy” ? the rights of the individual, the success of small business ? the United States has gone big in the worst possible way.

    The convergence theorists imagined that the better aspects of capitalism and communism would emerge from the Darwinian competition of the Cold War and that the result would be a more adaptable and humane hybrid. It was a typically Panglossian error. Instead of the best of all possible worlds, the international community now faces an unholy trinity of authoritarian politics, cutthroat economics, and Big Brother surveillance.

    1. So Salon is suddenly pretending to be concerned about “the rights of the individual, the success of small business”? When the fuck did this happen?

      1. I’m assuming early February when the Dems lost the Senate, or last week when it became apparent that Hillary’s campaign is now in Weekend at Bernie’s mode.

    2. Oh we won the cold war. We just pissed away the peace dividend like a drunken sailor…

    3. I always use the word Panglossian but never in polite company.

  29. Greece: Some 300 mln left banks on Tuesday

    Statements suggesting the imposition of capital control measures over the upcoming long weekend, and Tuesday’s reference by the Finance Ministry to the possible imposition of a levy on cash machine withdrawals ? later withdrawn ? sent many to the ATM. At the same time, bank officials point to widespread concerns about the possibility of a rift between Greece and its creditors over the government’s failure to repay a scheduled installment to the International Monetary Fund next week.

    Credit sector professionals reported that deposit outflows on Tuesday alone came to 300 million euros, against about 100 million euros per day in recent days. They said that while this amount is quite high, the situation is under control as citizens are remaining calm on the positive messages from Greek officials.

  30. Philippine, Vietnamese troops play soccer and sing on disputed island

    Vietnamese and Philippine troops played soccer and sang karaoke on a South China Sea island on Wednesday in a sign of the growing security ties between the two Southeast Asian nations most at odds with Beijing over the contested waterway.

    Cooperation has blossomed between Hanoi and Manila since they shelved decades of enmity over their competing claims in the Spratly archipelago to try to counter China, whose creation of artificial islands in the region will allow it to project power deep into the maritime heart of Southeast Asia.

    Senior Philippine naval officials said soccer and volleyball games were being played on the Philippine-held island of Northeast Cay. A Vietnamese navy ship had earlier brought about 60 Vietnamese sailors to the island, where 100 Filipino troops were present, they said.

    1. “And they gave us all red shirts!”

  31. The New York Times reported yesterday that “roughly one in five black adults works for the government….”

    Does that include the ones stamping out license plates (or whatever slave labor prison inmates do, these days)?

    1. Is the NYT implying that the figure is low or high?

  32. Mrs. SFC B and I went to our latest baby appointment and we found out that our baby is developing normally, is perfectly healthy will all the necessary bits where they are supposed to be. And that we are going to be having a boy.

    I don’t think I’ve ever been more enthralled by what was on a monitor than I was watching the sonogram. Every move it was making was the most beautiful thing I’d seen. Even when it peed.

    1. Congrats. When are you guys due? Out next one is due Labor Day. For some reason sloopy and banjos spawn just before us.

      1. We’re due in early October. I’m already working on my Ash and Chest Burster costume for Halloween.

        1. Kane, not Ash… SMH

    2. I don’t think I’ve ever been more enthralled by what was on a monitor than I was watching the sonogram.

      Isn’t it crazy?

  33. Unions, which were the largest supporters of the LA minimum wage hike, are seeking to have union employed jobs exempt from the wage hike.

    You know, because only union jobs shouldn’t be subject to job losses.

    http://www.latimes.com/local/l…..story.html

    1. Well that’s a turn around. Normally they’re stoked because their pay is tied to the minimum wage. I guess the employers told them there would be layoffs.

      1. It’s a ploy to increase Union membership. “You can either pay the ridiculous $15/hr for fast food workers or you can pay them something reasonable that you can afford and allow us to force dues out of them.”

    2. Surprise, surprise, surprise.

  34. Regarding US citizens traveling to Cuba:

    “The thaw in relations between the U.S. and Cuba has led to a stunning 36 percent increase in visits by Americans to the island”
    […]
    “The dramatic rise was seen”
    http://www.nydailynews.com/lif…..-1.2235496

    Must have been a blue-light special on adjectives at Walmart.

    1. Now that’s change I can believe in

      1. Marx knew his economics. Marxism is:
        1. Capitalism
        2. ????
        3. Socialist Paradise!!1!

        Its the handwaving after describing capitalism where Marx gets in trouble. Summary: “Yes, Mr. Smith has described the only efficient way of allocating scarce (or non-infinite) resources to competing needs and wants, now let me tell you why we must change humanity so this isn’t so. “

        1. +1 Labor theory of value

    2. 5-27-15 ? Bernie Sanders: Apocalypto Economics Part 1

      … we’re left with the reality of a Bernie Sanders (famous non-worker), who seems to have all the ideas about how to fix the country by shoveling all of the responsibility ? meaning dollars ? for applying Bernie’s “fixes” onto the backs of the people who work for a living. All of it. Every single dime of idiotic spending, which, as history has shown, has not solved the problems of poverty, will come out of the pockets of the people groaning to themselves on their daily drives to jobs they don’t necessarily love, but work hard at anyway, because that’s what workers do.

      Workers work, they don’t preach. Workers don’t have Socialist manifestos un-cleverly disguised as political agendas loaded daily onto a Senate website. Recently, because Bernie’s taxpayer-supported website does not provide enough bandwidth for his breathless exhalations, Bernie posted a manifesto of sorts, for a political revolution, on HuffPo. It’s really more of a factually dishonest rambling, but hey, he’s running for President, so he’s just following Hillary’s lead here.

    3. Oh hell yes i signed it. Too bad he’ll inevitably choose Piketty…

  35. Probing Islamic State’s sex atrocities with the United Nations

    After attacking a village, IS splits women from men and executes boys and men aged 14 and over. The women and mothers are separated; girls are stripped naked, tested for virginity and examined for breast size and prettiness. The youngest, and those considered the prettiest virgins fetch higher prices and are sent to Raqqa, the IS stronghold.

    There is a hierarchy: sheikhs get first choice, then emirs, then fighters. They often take three or four girls each and keep them for a month or so, until they grow tired of a girl, when she goes back to market. At slave auctions, buyers haggle fiercely, driving down prices by disparaging girls as flat-chested or unattractive.

    We heard about one girl who was traded 22 times, and another, who had escaped, told us that the sheikh who had captured her wrote his name on the back of her hand to show that she was his ‘property’.

  36. From that Salon dogwhistle thing:
    The current circus that is the education reform debate in this country demonstrates a point that Stanley makes: “The usurpation of liberal democratic language to disguise an antidemocratic managerial society is at the basis of the American public school system as it was restructured between 1910 and 1920.”

    Oh.

  37. How can you guys read Salon? Completely disregarding content, pretty much everything I have ever read on that site has been so poorly written as to he largely incomprehensible.
    Is that what it’s like to read sophomores’ political science papers every day?

    1. Dear Prudie is well written.

      1. Thought she was slate…

        1. shit. Yeah. Salon is a wasteland. Unless they still do Ask the Pilot.

    2. I do it for the better of our ‘collective’

      *snort*

  38. So, basically, a case of a rapacious speculator making a buck off the misery of the poor and downtrodden…

    http://tinyurl.com/opku6ab

  39. “Amnesty International has accused Hamas of torturing and slaughtering Palestinians in Gaza, which it controls.”

    Sheldon? What say you?

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