Reason Weekly Contest: Name That Pot Snack Brand Name!
Last week's winners revealed

Welcome back to the Weekly Reason Contest! This week's question is:
Law enforcement is facing a new challenge: A surge in marijuana-infused candy and snacks, including marshmallows and lollipops. Kindly come up with the brand name of a candy or snack now fortified with pot. And, if you'd like, include its slogan.

How to enter: Submissions should be e-mailed to contest@reason.com. Please include your name and email address. This week, kindly type "POT" in the subject line. Entries are due by 11 p.m. Eastern Time, Sunday, May 24. Winners will appear Friday, May 29, right here at Reason.com.
In the case of identical or similar entries, the first one received gets credit. First prize is a one-year digital subscription to Reason magazine, plus bragging rights. While we appreciate kibbitzing in the comments below, you must email your answer to enter the contest. Feel free to enter more than once, and good luck!
And now for the results of last week's contest. We asked you to come up with a trigger warning for a classic children's book.
THE WINNER: Charlotte's Web
Trigger warning: Not recommended for people with axe-related trauma. — Brian Rideout
SECOND PLACE: The Giving Tree
Trigger warning: Contains human-on-tree violence. — Leonard Chadwick, Gallatin, TN
THIRD PLACE: Stuart Little
Trigger warning: Heightism. — Brendan O'Bryhim, Wichita, KS
HONORABLE MENTIONS:
Where the Wild Things Are
Trigger warning: Contains white male privilege, animal cruelty, oppression. Main character travels to a foreign land, enslaves indigenous people and makes himself king. When he returns to his room, his mother has provided supper for him out of fear of a violent physical and/or sexual attack. — Jimmy Donato
Curious George
Trigger warning: Book contains an incident of kidnapping. — Rachel Hoffman
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish
Trigger warning: Promotes categorizing living things (possibly representing people) into separate groups. — John O'Farrill
The Three Little Pigs
Trigger warning: A wolf is referred to as "Big" and "Bad" with no explanation of, or reference to, how his place in society was bestowed upon him other than that he was hungry. — Bradley Reyes, Grove City, OH
Winne the Pooh
Trigger warning: Domestic violence. Title character is dragged down the stairs at the hands of an older male member of the household who "loves" him. — Jessica Nelson, Jacksonville, FL
Peter Pan
Trigger warning: Encourages clapping as a means of expressing belief/approval, which may trigger anxiety. — Corey Sheahan
Green Eggs and Ham
Trigger warning: Book contains multiple sequences of one predator-like character continuing to attempt to persuade another character to perform an act, even after that character has clearly and repeatedly refused consent. — Todd Bryant, Beavercreek, OH
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Trigger warning: This book contains content that may be found offensive by glucose fluctuating persons. — Corbin Dillard
The Very Hungry Caterpillar
Trigger warning: Instead of showing the harm that eating disorders cause, book depicts a caterpillar turning into a magnificent butterfly, reinforcing unrealistic body image in children. — Bradley Reyes, Grove City, OH
Winne the Pooh
Trigger warning: Contains depictions of conditions and events which may be triggering to survivors of honey addiction or those with claustrophobia (immobilization of head). — Richard DeBussey, Monrovia, CA
Cars and Trucks and Things That Go
Trigger warning: Cover is insensitive to those of alligator-American descent. — Morgan Frank
Where the Wild Things Are
Trigger warning: Book contains scenes of food deprivation, which may be triggering to the food insecure. — Joshua Trujillo, Chandler, AZ
The Cat in the Hat
Trigger warning: Prison attire. Numbers for names (reinforcing the prison trigger). — Aaron Lloyd White, San Francisco, CA
Charlotte's Web
Trigger warning: Animals are given human traits in order to make the reader more comfortable with the animals instead of celebrating their animalistic diversity. — T. Axel Jones, Stroudsburg, PA
Humpty Dumpty
Trigger warning: Contains graphic depictions of trauma, patriarchy, gravity, and egg white privilege. — Mathew Fusch, Edmonds, WA
Go, Dog, Go!
Trigger warning: Children may relive previous playtime rejections experienced based on color, gender, and economic inequity when it is noted that "The red dog is out." Also may trigger memories of alcohol abuse by caregivers, in depiction of party hosted at the top of a tree with absolutely no safety measures in place, and use of a cannon to shoot another dog from. — Erica Madsen, Arlington, WA
The Little Red Hen
Trigger warning: Does not take into account fact that the other animals may have gluten allergies. — Petra Filipkowski, Bangor, PA
Little Boy Blue
Trigger warning: Contains phallic imagery, suggestive sexual acts, and preconceived notions of male emotional reaction to micro-aggressions. — Cortland Carrington
The Cat in the Hat
Trigger Warning: This work of fiction depicts home invasion and property destruction, young children abandoned by their mother, repetitive physical and mental ichthyological abuse. — Todd Atkinson, Memphis, TN
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Mmmmm. Munchies that give you munchies.
M&M&Mjs;
Colorado Cookies
Recommended by four out of five NYT journalists.
Honorable Mentions: The commentariat gets no love from last week?? I know we're not following the official submission rules, but come on, scanning the comments is too hard for the interns orphans?
Ongoing monocle storage. How are they supposed to review comments without them?
I was going to mention something about them being too busy shining monocles...
I got an HM (honorable mention, not Heroic Mullato) but I submitted it both via email and in the comments.
Gratz to the winners.
Based on the results, I guess I shoulda entered my lil red riding hood.
Marshmellows
Don't harsh your mellow, Marshmellows!
Even better toasted.
Baked like a cake?
Nice, both of you.
I just submitted the following:
Mellow Yellow Jello- Tagline "we're all just mad about saffron, quite rightly."
Dammit! I was going to do last weeks contest but forgot! And I had this great idea about how Thing One and Thing Two need a trigger warning due to the negative inferences they make about gender identity, too!
A trigger within a trigger...
Triggerception.
I'm way too stoned to think of something funny right now.
What's your excuse the rest of the time?
/kapow!
What a zinger.
Hey, submit your idea via email..........
Well, if I must....
I...I'm an idiot?
When will The Episiarch Strike Back?
Or should it be Revenge of the Epi, instead?
The Phantom Epi
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HATE YOU
Just so long as it's not The Clone Epis - one is *quite* enough.
Just, please, keep it episodes 4-6. No 1-3. I'm begging you.
Epi Awakens
NOT ABRAMS NOOOOOOOOOOOO
Epi II Electric Boogaloo
It's Epi. There is no "rest of the time" where he's not baked.
was that the name of your product? Were I a user, I would buy that.
You know how in Repo Man they had the generic "CORN FLAKES" and shit? My product would be the same, except the package would just say "MUNCHIES". And would probably be filled with Cheetos. Or Trader Joe's dark chocolate sea salt turbinado sugar almonds. Or pork rinds. Mmmmmm.
why not all three and just call it a snack mix? hell, if they're going to get stoned would they care? How many people drink horrible tasting booze just to get drunk?
How many people drink horrible tasting booze just to get drunk?
+ 1 Dr. McGillicuddy's
What are you talking about?
(knocks back a swig of Listerene)
What, out of brake fluid? *offers a swig from bottle*
"Let's get a beer."
Pot The Not: For the Derpetologist on the Go
is that like the industry equivalent of O'Douls?
Those who claim kids will be tricked into eating marijuana edibles have clearly never eaten them. I've tried everything from the drinks to candy to cookies and crackers. And they ALL have that 'weed' flavor and taste terrible (potent gummies called 'Green Hornets' are the rare exception). From the taste alone no one would ever mistake these products for the real thing, and they're far too expensive (candy bars start at about $12) to leave lying around where kids might find them. This is 'Reefer Madness' all over again...
I'm also still waiting to hear exactly why a kid accidentally getting stoned because they ate some edibles is such a bad thing. Weed can't hurt you. I mean, if a kid got accidentally drunk, it's no big deal--sleep it off--and that's actually theoretically dangerous (in that alcohol poisoning exists). Weed can't do shit other than get you high for a while. OH NOES SOMEONE IS HIGH AIIIGGGHHHH
It will turn them into addicts for life. Duh.
Unfortunately, people who have never gotten high tend to freak out as the herb takes affect and demand to be taken to the Emergency Room--providing 'evidence' that people can OD from weed. People die from alcohol poisoning every day, but there is no documented evidence anyone has ever died from ingesting too much THC (getting stoned and driving your car into a tree doesn't count).
You have reminded me of that cop several years ago who called 911 after smoking pot, and said he was dying. Good times.
egg white privilege
Simply outstanding. This one should have won for this alone.
That was very, very good.
Ahhh, the yoke of yellow journalism.
You did that and I saw it.
Prove it 🙂
You must think I'm an over easy yolkel, Holger.
Sorry, I'm not playing your shell game.
Absolutely. Outstanding and the clear winner. I think a recount is called for.
I didn't even get an Honorable Mention for Peter and the Wolf 🙁
I didn't get a mention for The Little Engine that Could...I was so sure it would.
This is hilarious.
I can't believe it's pot butter!
Dude, email that in. It's quite good.
Little Doobie Snack Cakes.
Liked this one.
Groovy Pebbles Brand Pot for Tots.
The Wayback Snack that's a Tasty Treat for youngsters.
Groovy Peebles are mouthwateringly healthy and made from all natural ingredients. Not only do the kids love these crunchy nuggets of flavorful goodness, parents and their visiting single friends will savor the serenity that follows.
Now available in Family Packs.
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"Get more time with your family"
Clearly you have never met my family.
Charlestoned Chews
Whoa - I sent that in already. *mind blown*
Flintstoned Chewable Multivitamins. Now fortified with THC.
Pixy Giggle Stix
Lenore - if you don't select me as the winner I will out you as the pot pusher you are to the folks that frequent your other blog.
I know Michelle Obama won't allow me to send my kids to school with Munchables until they improve the nutritional value.
The Simpsons had the best food/drug name ever with 'oxy cotton candy'.
Infusing hard drugs creates hard candy.
Doesn't the real winner already exist? There is (or used to be) a children's cereal named Sugar Smacks. Could it be anything BESIDES a cocaine/heroin cocktail??
I submit the answer is no.
Nathaniel . although Stephanie `s rep0rt is super... I just bought a top of the range Mercedes sincee geting a check for $4416 this last four weeks and would you believe, ten/k last-month . no-doubt about it, this really is the best-job I've ever done . I actually started seven months/ago and almost straight away started making a nice over $79.. p/h..... ?????? http://www.netcash9.com
Churrojuana - Goes great with anal!
My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do,
http://www.wixjob.com
My last pay check was $9500 working 12 hours a week online. My sisters friend has been averaging 15k for months now and she works about 20 hours a week. I can't believe how easy it was once I tried it out. This is what I do,
http://www.wixjob.com