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Obama Says All is Well in Fight Against ISIS, Spy Agencies Targeted App Stores, Senate Clears Barrier to Fast-Track Trade Authority: P.M. Links

J.D. Tuccille | 5.21.2015 4:30 PM

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  • Arian Zwegers

    International opposition to Islamic State is doing just fine, says President Obama, days after the fall of Ramadi in Iraq. Next up for the homicidal fanatics: keeping everybody guessing about their plans for the ancient archeological treasures of Palmyra.

  • The NSA and other intelligence agencies targeted app stores to plant spyware on smartphones, files released by Edward Snowden reveal. They also went after a popular Chinese mobile browser.
  • With mostly Republican support, the Senate pushed past an initial hurdle to fast-track trade negotiating authority for the president. The measure faces another Senate vote and tough opposition in the House.
  • Jobless claims rose a hair more than expected, but economists say it's getting so much better all the time.
  • Actually, in much of the U.S., the economy is still a touch sluggish. A dozen states have yet to recover the jobs lost in the recession.
  • National Archives officials were worried about Hillary Clinton's proprietary approach to official records even before she left the State Department.
  • Do you have big Memorial Day weekend plans? You may already be on the road.

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NEXT: WATCH: What We Saw at RuPaul's First Ever DragCon

J.D. Tuccille is a contributing editor at Reason.

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  1. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Do you have big Memorial Day weekend plans? You may already be on the road.

    So thank the government for that road!

    1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Hello.

    2. Sudden   10 years ago

      Game 5, Chicago Blackhawks @ the Honda Center.

      Hopefully that'll be the game that sends the Hawks into the cup finals.

    3. Catatafish   10 years ago

      Not me. I'm spending Memorial Day vacationing in sunny Somalia!

  2. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    The NSA and other intelligence agencies targeted app stores to plant spyware on smartphones, files released by Edward Snowden reveal. They also went after a popular Chinese mobile browser.

    What 4th amendment?

    1. Rich   10 years ago

      There's an app for that!

      1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

        "By accepting this EULA, you agree to permanently cede your 4th amendment rights to privacy."

  3. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

    Congratulations, Bo Cara Esq.!

    1. Xeones   10 years ago

      Ouch.

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        He earned it today. He had been doing much better, but then.....

        1. Ted S.   10 years ago

          I'm glad I decamped from the Mourning Lynx before that happened.

        2. Paul.   10 years ago

          All jokes aside, Tony Villar failed it five times.

    2. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

      Low blow! Erik looks like a standup guy, and it's a real cool story. No need to besmirch him by association.

      Can we get some corner time here?

      1. Xeones   10 years ago

        Yeah exactly. I don't know what Playa has against Weber, he seems like a solid dude.

      2. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        I know. I struggled with it. I have impulse control issues.

        1. Xeones   10 years ago

          Do you also have a harpoon made of glass and a nuclear bomb in the sidecar of your motorcycle?

          1. Paul.   10 years ago

            LOL

    3. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

      Man With Autism Becomes First Student at Cal Western to Pass Bar Exam

      Um...phrasing?

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        It's not a very good law school.

      2. Rich   10 years ago

        Woman With Autism Becomes First Journalist At News 7 to Report on Man With Autism Becoming First Student at Cal Western to Pass Bar Exam

        1. Almanian!   10 years ago

          HODOR!!!

      3. Sudden   10 years ago

        The entire article is riddled with poor phrasing and grammar issues:

        "When I found out, I really did pass my keyboard got wet with tears of joy," Erik said.

        Someone knows not how to employ a comma. I'm guessing that nbcsandiego has been nobly employing the SpEd community for years now.

        Or Ms. Tevrizian earned a journalism degree by carrying a mattress around campus.

        1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

          A mattress stained with the blood of Turks.

    4. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

      I had always imagined him with a neckbeard.

  4. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    Jobless claims rose a hair more than expected, but economists say it's getting so much better all the time.

    Meeting expectations?

  5. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    Jobless claims rose a hair more than expected, but economists say it's getting so much better all the time.

    We need MOAR STIMULUZ!

    - Krugabe

  6. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    A dozen states have yet to recover the jobs lost in the recession.

    After all that crack economist in the White House and those in governors' mansions and in various legislatures have done to help the situation?

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      I can say that my spring quarter has sucked balls. The last two months are probably 40% down from last year.

    2. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

      Some people just can't be helped I guess?

      Wait, that's wrong - hit it twice as hard to make it go!

    3. Paul.   10 years ago

      You forgot the comma between 'crack' and 'economist'.

  7. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    National Archives officials were worried about Hillary Clinton's proprietary approach to official records even before she left the State Department.

    It takes a village...

    ...to subpoena Clinton's emails?

    1. Xeones   10 years ago

      Well, to find them first.

    2. Almanian!   10 years ago

      It takes a Village Idiot to run the State Department anymore. Apparently.

      1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

        Somewhere in a Chicago suburb, a village is missing its idiot?

    3. Homple   10 years ago

      Last I heard, the National Archivists were looking for the Clinton emails in Sandy Berger's socks.

    4. Homple   10 years ago

      Last I heard, the National Archivists were looking for the Clinton emails in Sandy Berger's socks.

      1. Homple   10 years ago

        Sorry, that's probably not funny enough to post even once.

  8. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

    International opposition to Islamic State is doing just fine, says President Obama, days after the fall of Ramadi in Iraq. Next up for the homicidal fanatics: keeping everybody guessing about their plans for the ancient archeological treasures of Palmyra.

    Damn your nimble fingers 2-Chilly. I had something for this.

    Also fuck those guys.

    1. grrizzly   10 years ago

      I blame global warming.

      Understand, climate change did not cause the conflicts we see around the world. Yet what we also know is that severe drought helped to create the instability in Nigeria that was exploited by the terrorist group Boko Haram. It's now believed that drought and crop failures and high food prices helped fuel the early unrest in Syria, which descended into civil war in the heart of the Middle East.
      -Obama

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        It's like people can't just be barbarian assholes because they're barbarian assholes anymore.

        Next the Irish will be drinking and beating their wives and the Welsh will be fucking sheep because of Global Warming.

        1. Xeones   10 years ago

          No no no. The SCOTS will be fucking sheep. The Welsh will be eating coal, as is their wont.

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            ARGH. I can't win with this. Every time I say the Scots are sheepfuckers I get corrected that it's the Welsh. When I finally say the Welsh are sheepfuckers I'm told it's the Scots.

          2. Sudden   10 years ago

            Having spent some time in Scotland, the sheep may be the better of the two alternatives.

        2. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

          Jesus Jesse.

          Some manners please.

          1. Pathogen   10 years ago

            Chiding Jesse's cultural insensitivities only encourages him more, it's like weed-n-feed for the stealer of souls...

            1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

              Come on, man. I'm not a ginger.

              Besides dick pics contain zero soul energy. I cannot use the receipt of a dick pic as a medium for theft of a soul. To believe otherwise is just silly superstition.

              1. Pathogen   10 years ago

                Try petty soul gems..

                1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                  I'm assuming some of your are dragons and would require greater soul gems, but I'd need to see dick pics to be sure.

                  1. Paul.   10 years ago

                    Petty dick pics?

                  2. Pathogen   10 years ago

                    "White soul gems" are inherently racist, and all too privileged..

                    1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                      Wait, white-soul gems or white soul-gems?

                    2. Pathogen   10 years ago

                      Can't it be both?

                    3. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                      Well clearly the white souls need to go in the white soul-gems, otherwise there might be SOUL MISCEGENATION

        3. Agammamon   10 years ago

          And he also conveniently ignores the fact the people tend to revolt and overthrow tyrannical governments right as things start to get *better*, not when they're getting worse.

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

            Ignoring implies knowledge. In this instance, I'm not so sure he's even aware.

      2. AlmightyJB   10 years ago

        Wasn't the middle East 70 degrees year round back back in the 60's? A lot of peoe don't know this but the sahara desert was fertile farmland just 10 years ago.

    2. Tonio   10 years ago

      I'm surprised their destroying of historical monuments hasn't turned the cultural elites against them.

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        Western cultural elites, that is.

        1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

          Destruction of historical monuments is part of ISIS culture, and you must accept multiculturalism or you're a bigot.

          1. Tonio   10 years ago

            I'm the biggest bigot since bigotry came to Bigotown.

          2. Paul.   10 years ago

            We all just want what's best for our children.

      2. Libertarian   10 years ago

        You watch. It will. I remember WAY back when the tragedy in Afghanistan wasn't the murder, but the destruction of those big statues.

        1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

          The Bamiyan Buddhas. It's just terrible seeing something make it for that long to be destroyed by some assholes who get their hands on explosives and think they're on a mission from god.

          1. Libertarian   10 years ago

            THANK YOU, Jesse. I couldn't remember the particulars. They were destroyed in March, 2001 (before 9/11!). I remember the emails flying around the intertubes decryingf their destruction. I also recall Jay Leno's wife, rightly, decrying the REAL war on women taking place at the same time. I think the statues got more press.

            1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

              It's tough, I definitely agree that the living, breathing people that were suffering in Afghanistan should be priority, but I understand why irreplaceable pieces of history can capture the imagination more than faceless masses.

            2. prx   10 years ago

              Ted Rall was screaming for an invasion and overthrow of the Taliban over their treatment of women and the Bamiyan Buddhas until 9/11. After 9/11, he was against it.

  9. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

    Do you have big Memorial Day weekend plans? You may already be on the road.

    I am flying to the Cesspool on the Potomac (TM Lisa Simpson) for a wedding. Can I get an invite to a cocktail party?

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      Quick, make a cosmo comment.

      1. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

        Abortions for all?

        1. Ted S.   10 years ago

          Miniature American flags for others.

          1. Pathogen   10 years ago

            Can't it be both?

        2. waffles   10 years ago

          Booh!

          1. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

            No abortions for anyone!

            1. Pathogen   10 years ago

              Free Miniature American flags with purchase of abortion..

    2. Los Doyers   10 years ago

      Someone's been bitten by the Twitter famous bug.

      1. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

        ? I'm mocking the cosmotarian nonsense. Also, I actually want to go to a reason cocktail party.

        1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

          Yes, I know. Check out Rico Suave's Twitter.

          1. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

            Ah, maybe he deleted them. All I am seeing in his recent feed are tweets at Cathy Young and Glenn Greenwald.

            1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

              Hmm, maybe it was Welch's then. Or ENB's. Anyway, the point is that they love when we talk about their secret cocktail parties in the comments.

              1. Paul.   10 years ago

                They're not very secret then are they?

                1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

                  I WAS BEING HYOERBOLIC PAUL. GEEZ

                  1. Paul.   10 years ago

                    My uncle was hyperbolic. I never touch the stuff myself.

  10. Almanian!   10 years ago

    With mostly Republican support, the Senate pushed past an initial hurdle to fast-track trade negotiating authority for the president.

    I believe this is a mistake. But I guess we need to pass it to find out what's in it.

    /IT'S A TRAP!

  11. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    The NSA and other intelligence agencies targeted app stores to plant spyware on smartphones, files released by Edward Snowden reveal.

    Other agencies?

    1. expat   10 years ago

      The ONSA (Other No Such Agency)

    2. db   10 years ago

      Uuhhhh-huhh...that was uh, *other agencies*. Hhhuuh huh.

  12. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

    I bet you didn't know that Hitler's real value was in being the only white person ever to kill white people.

    1. Xeones   10 years ago

      You know who else... uh.... hang on.

      1. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

        Dahmer?

      2. PBR Streetgang   10 years ago

        Anders Brevik?

      3. Libertarian   10 years ago

        John Wayne Gacy

      4. mr lizard   10 years ago

        Ho Chi Mihn?

    2. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      Well, he is useful as a model against which to compare internet commenters.

    3. Muzzle of Bees   10 years ago

      You know who else was white and killed white people?

      1. Xeones   10 years ago

        Jaws?

        1. Muzzle of Bees   10 years ago

          Winter?

          1. Libertarian   10 years ago

            Did you mean Johnny Winter?

            1. Muzzle of Bees   10 years ago

              Close. I meant Jonathan Winters. That guy kills me.

      2. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

        ooo oooo... I KNOW this one...

      3. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

        The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man?

      4. Tonio   10 years ago

        Polar Bears?

        1. grrizzly   10 years ago

          Bearracist!

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            I don't know why, but I can't stop laughing at this.

          2. Libertarian   10 years ago

            Oh puhleez. You're more like a latino. You're not like a black bear.

      5. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        Cocaine?

        1. PBR Streetgang   10 years ago

          Dammit!! Soclose was I.

      6. PBR Streetgang   10 years ago

        Cocaine?

      7. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

        Colorado avalanches?

      8. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

        Robert Durst?

      9. Pathogen   10 years ago

        Ted Kennedy?

      10. db   10 years ago

        Robert E. Lee?

      11. mr lizard   10 years ago

        Skeletor?

      12. lap83   10 years ago

        Jon Snooow?

    4. Rich   10 years ago

      the University of Limpopo Turfloop

      Please, don't forget to flush.

    5. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      I bet they didn't even buy Hitler's record first.

  13. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    Next up for the homicidal fanatics: keeping everybody guessing about their plans for the ancient archeological treasures of Palmyra.

    There was no history before Islam.

    Islam is the Big Bang after which everything happened.

    So any evidence must be purged.

    1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      God, that makes me a little ill. More historic stuff lost forever. And there is a lot of undocumented material in Iraq.

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        Yep.

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Motherfucker. Thousands of years of civilization, all wasted by some murdering, insane thugs.

          1. Libertarian   10 years ago

            Hey, man, "thugs" is racist.

          2. Libertarian   10 years ago

            Or, as Ben Stein would say: "what a terrible, atheistic act!"

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              Thugs is only racist to Indians.

            2. Tonio   10 years ago

              "what a terrible, atheistic act!"

              What a profoundly dishonest statment.

              1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                I'm confused. Are Muslims atheists now?

    2. Tonio   10 years ago

      Yeah, Iraq could have been as big as Egypt for historical tourism if it had a more stable government.

      1. Rich   10 years ago

        ISIS is just getting the massacring out of the way before the tourists show up.

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Oh, kinda like Disney did in Kissimmee before Disney World opened.

          1. Brett L   10 years ago

            Those poor skunk apes.

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              The few survivors pushed to the Everglades, contending daily with alien pythons.

    3. Pathogen   10 years ago

      It's just golden calves... all the way down.
      .
      I was told once told that Rommel blasted the nose from the Sphinx, to be immortalized in history, ISIS is much more ambitious with much less couth..

      1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

        Just for the record, it wasn't Rommel, and it wasn't Napoleon. The nose was shown intact before either in drawings. Likely some Muslim guy pissed at some idolatry.

        1. db   10 years ago

          Yeah, if it was Rommel, Hitler would have had him killed even earlier.

        2. Paul.   10 years ago

          Huh, the story I read was Napoleon was testing advanced artillery telemetry techniques and shot it off. Then the 90s SJW's got wind of it and decided it was racist.

          1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

            Not true. I believe it's not entirely known for sure who did it, but there's some decent evidence that it was a Muslim, pissed that some other Muslims were venerating the statue, quite some time before Napoleon.

        3. Pathogen   10 years ago

          I stand corrected..
          "Nothing new under the sun", I guess.

      2. BigT   10 years ago

        "Rommel blasted the nose from the Sphinx"

        Extra! Extra! Nazis provide free nose job!

    4. Stormy Dragon   10 years ago

      I met a traveller from an antique land
      Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
      Stand in the desert. Near them on the sand,
      Half sunk, a shatter'd visage lies, whose frown
      And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command
      Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
      Which yet survive, stamp'd on these lifeless things,
      The hand that mock'd them and the heart that fed.
      And on the pedestal these words appear:
      "My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
      Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
      Nothing beside remains: round the decay
      Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
      The lone and level sands stretch far away.

      1. Heedless   10 years ago

        Sic transit gloria mundi.

      2. C. Anacreon   10 years ago

        There's a great National Lampoon foto funnies from the 70's where an attractive lady recites that poem - and when she says "look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!" rips open her blouse to reveal her full naked breasts. Oh, those days.

  14. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

    ESB finds out Suey Park is Christian, gives her a big wet kiss.

    1. Scruffy Nerfherder   10 years ago

      As long as ESB doesn't make her enact the labor to respond...

    2. Almanian!   10 years ago

      Jesus Christ, why did I read that....WHY?

      1. Ted S.   10 years ago

        Even though Nicole is the worst, she did warn you that it was ESB.

    3. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

      You're such a monster. I thought I'd quit ESB, but you bring my addiction and shove it right in my face.

      Would you give a recovering alcoholic a bottle of whiskey, Nicole?

      1. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

        Only someone who's the worst would.... Ooooh!

      2. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

        Hey, I held back from emailing it to you hours ago when I found it!

      3. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        Aren't you still on timeout?

        Nicole?

        1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

          Not now that he read my link.

    4. Heroic Mulatto   10 years ago

      That was hot.

    5. Rich   10 years ago

      Who?

      1. Paul.   10 years ago

        *looks at rich and shrugs*

    6. tarran   10 years ago

      I was hurrying to catch up to her as she answered me, the breeze lifting her hair back from her cheek as she smiled, looking ahead.

      I'll bet Episiarch is rushing to his bunk.

      1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

        Holy mother of God, ESB writes like a Harlequin Romance novelist on the seventh day of a hashish bender.

        And I don't mean that as a compliment, although it actually sounds kind of awesome.

        Also, I'm trying to visualize this in my head. Was Suey Park looking straight ahead and inexplicably speaking without looking at Breunig, who was trailing far behind her? Is this how progressives communicate now?

        1. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

          And I don't mean that as a compliment, although it actually sounds kind of awesome.

          Yeah, it'd be Agile Cyborg prose with bodices and rippling muscles, novel-length. So basically, actual Necronomicon

        2. MJGreen   10 years ago

          Suey Park is too busy saving the world to stop and chat.

        3. Paul.   10 years ago

          I clicked on Nicole's link against my better judgement because there seems to be this cliquey in abbreviation, "esb". I was so horrified by the prose in the first paragraph I nearly yakked.

          1. Paul.   10 years ago

            "It's... It's that sprawling New Yorker shit!"

  15. rts   10 years ago

    "Mattress Girl" hit with poster campaign calling her "Pretty Little Liar"

    After Columbia University's "Mattress Girl," Emma Sulkowicz, continued her rape accusation campaign against exonerated student Paul Nungesser at the school's graduation ceremonies Tuesday, posters calling Sulkowicz a liar popped up overnight in the school's vicinity, according to Deputy News Editor Teo Armus of the Columbia Spectator.

    1. Almanian!   10 years ago

      I appeared that the one poster about Lena Dunham had just "Liar" on it.

      Good call....

      1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

        "Big Fat" would have worked.

        1. Paul.   10 years ago

          I'm laughing. I'm laughing. I can't stop.

      2. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

        The Dunham ones say "big fat liar."

        1. Almanian!   10 years ago

          I blame my 53-year-old eyes

    2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

      Nicole beat you to it.

      1. grrizzly   10 years ago

        By a slutshitstorm.

        1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

          Yeah, that was a "soothing" fail.

    3. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      But... is she really pretty?

      1. Tonio   10 years ago

        Pretty vacant.

      2. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        Definitely.

    4. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      When are we gonna stop dicking around and call her by her real name? Stupid Girl.

      http://www.thecollegefix.com/post/22534/

      1. Red Rocks Rockin   10 years ago

        I like "Fuck Me In the Butt" Girl better, since those were her actual words.

    5. Mx. F. Stupidity, Jr.   10 years ago

      This morning I was listening to Daybreak USA. The guest was Dr. Allen Sachs, a political
      science prof at UT-Arlington. He talked about how preposterous it was that his
      students believed women were oppressed in this country. The host, Angie Austin is
      this idiot's name, thought the students had a point. She cited as evidence "a student
      claimed she was raped at Columbia. They did not expel the accused student, so in protest she carried a mattress on stage with her at graduation."

      1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

        Yeah. Real fucken normal behavior to carry a mattress around at grad.

        These people need to see a psychologist or even a psychiatrist.

        There are other issues at work here.

        1. Tonio   10 years ago

          Uh, Rufus, Sulkowicz' parents ARE psychiatrists.

          1. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

            WELL WHAT ARE THEY WAITING FOR?!

            1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

              Oh, they've done plenty.

          2. PBR Streetgang   10 years ago

            The cobbler's kids have no shoes...

            1. BigT   10 years ago

              Larry Flynt's kids jacked it to National Geographic.

          3. Pathogen   10 years ago

            And their daughter is their mental/psychological petri dish...

      2. Ted S.   10 years ago

        I didn't know you liked listening to Daybreak.

    6. Tonio   10 years ago

      Nice.

  16. RBS   10 years ago

    Do you have big Memorial Day weekend plans?

    Mostly I'll be staying at home, to avoid the crowds.

    1. Ted S.   10 years ago

      How many bikers will the cops kill this time?

  17. Almanian!   10 years ago

    This jobless-claim data. I assume it was....unexpected?

    1. bacon-magic   10 years ago

      Obama is giving out jobs left and right. You don't even need any experience. It's pretty easy to flip burgers...soon to be a $15/hr CAREER.

      1. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

        $30K a year for that sort of work is crazy.

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      Do we even know what the actual unemployment situation is, anymore? Seems like it's a total bullshit figure now.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        Oh, hush, they know exactly what they're doing!

  18. Fist of Etiquette   10 years ago

    National Archives officials were worried about Hillary Clinton's proprietary approach to official records even before she left the State Department.

    They don't like that the NSA has the only copy of those official records.

  19. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    They also went after a popular Chinese mobile browser.

    China to US: Pot, kettle!

  20. tarran   10 years ago

    Thieves decide to carjack a Brazilian cop's car. It ends badly for them.

    Contrary to the speculation on youtube, the shots weren't blanks, and the guy grabbing the car door ended up on a slab in the morgue. Unless the spinal column is severed or a bullet hits the brain stem people don't immediately drop.

  21. Agammamon   10 years ago

    With mostly Republican support, the Senate pushed past an initial hurdle to fast-track trade negotiating authority for the president. The measure faces another Senate vote and tough opposition in the House.

    So, essentially, Congress is in the process of abdicating another one of their responsibilities to the executive then?

    1. Xeones   10 years ago

      What difference, at this point, does it make?

      1. Winston   10 years ago

        You Know Who Else argued that the constitution being ignored justified ignoring them more?

    2. Winston   10 years ago

      It gives Reason something they want so who cares.

    3. BigT   10 years ago

      "So, essentially, Congress is in the process of abdicating another one of their responsibilities to the executive then?"

      No. The Senate can vote against the treaty when it is presented after negotiations. This vote only prevents amendments from being added.

  22. Rich   10 years ago

    their plans for the ancient archeological treasures of Palmyra

    "'Ancient', eh? Then destroy them as un-Islamic!"

  23. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

    People are morons, Gallup Polling edition:

    Americans think 23% of people are gay, actual number between 3 and 4 percent.

    32% of people think animals should have equal rights to human beings.

    I for one look forward to my dog gaining the right to bear arms and think it's long past time we extended suffrage to tape worms.

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      So long and thanks for all the fish.

    2. Muzzle of Bees   10 years ago

      What about bears gaining the right to dog arms?

    3. Libertarian   10 years ago

      3 to 4 percent!?!? Christ, they outnumber libertarians 2 to 1.

      1. Muzzle of Bees   10 years ago

        Light the Hihn-signal.

        1. seguin   10 years ago

          To the Hihn-mobile, old chum!

    4. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      Trust me, Irish, a shit ton of tapeworms already vote. In fact, that would be a good name for the 47%.

  24. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

    Meanwhile in Russia: Russian think tank app catches protestors before they protest

    The Center for Research in Legitimacy and Political Protest claims to have developed software that will search Russian social media posts for signs of plans by political opposition to the government to stage unapproved protests or meetings. Described by an Izvestia report as "a system to prevent mass disorder," the software searches through social media posts once every five minutes to catch hints of "unauthorized actions" and potentially alert law enforcement to prevent them.

    The software [...] is named "Laplace's demon" after the theoretical all-seeing intellect that could calculate the future of the universe based on the position and state of all matter. According to the Center's director, Yevgeny Venediktov, the software specifically monitors "politically oriented groups of social protest" at a national level, as well as local discussion platforms for specific geographic areas. "Particular attention will be paid to the number of likes and reposts in extremist groups." Groups and user pages associated with "extremists" are tagged by volunteers, aggregated into a central database, and analyzed and filtered by sociologists and political scientists.

    How do you say SPLC in Russian?

    1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      Next up:

      Protestors create a sh1t ton of fake accounts, fool the software that the protests will be in Vladivostok, and end up rioting in St. Petersburg instead.

      1. Medical Physics Guy   10 years ago

        That, or isn't there a new platform used in HK in which protesters form private networks and give each other private bandwidth, or something?

        1. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

          That would be terrific. Ad hoc, private network outside of the government-telecom surveillance complex.

          Honestly, it would also be fun to watch the Kremlin get swatted and Putin get shot because he failed to obey orders or made furtive movements or something.

        2. iCarl   10 years ago

          You are probably thinking of FireChat, which is a step forward (maybe), but not quite what you're describing.

          1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

            How many people have been banned from FireChat?

            1. iCarl   10 years ago

              Not sure, but I don't see your point, anyway.

        3. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

          Bitmesh.

          https://www.bitmesh.network/

          1. iCarl   10 years ago

            I'm having trouble finding the Hong Kong connection here. So far all I'm seeing are a bunch of churnalist writeups that say "this is based on mesh networking; some protesters in Hong Kong used an app based on mesh networking, FireChat, too".

    2. Ted S.   10 years ago

      NKVD, I think.

  25. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

    A line thrown around here is that lightning is more likely to kill you than terror. CW Cooke, direclty mentioning Bailey and Reason, discusses that while this is true it is beside the point and unhelpful.

    http://www.nationalreview.com/.....-c-w-cooke

    1. LynchPin1477   10 years ago

      And he does a poor job of it.

      His point is that lightning strikes have no deeper meaning, while terrorists are trying to attack our core values or shared culture. But two things

      1) The justification for things like the Patriot Act and foreign intervention is that terrorism is an existential threat that simply cannot be tolerated. BUT...
      2) With the exception of large-scale attacks that could take down a culturally significant landmark or kills lots of people, terrorism simply is not capable of doing significant damage to our values or culture unless we help it by betraying those values ourselves.

      Pointing out that 1) is false (which is what the statistical arguments try to do) IS fighting terrorism, because the only way terrorism wins is if we get terrified and hurt ourselves.

      1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

        You've missed the point I think. When terrorists kill people who draw Mohammed we of course must keep drawing him, but if attacks keep happening it will chill our speech and that is far more injurious than X number of deaths.

  26. Rich   10 years ago

    Britain's counterpart, GCHQ, said all its work "is carried out in accordance with a strict legal and policy framework." The U.S. National Security Agency ... did not respond

    as it waited for the PATRIOT Act's strict legal and policy framework to be renewed.

  27. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

    The greatest book cover of all time.

    The book also has the greatest endorsement I have ever seen.

    ""Marijuana Girl will get you through times of no money better'n money will get you through times of no Marijuana Girl." -- Knees Calhoon"

    Well, Knees Calhoon has never steered me wrong.

  28. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

    Duggar Drama! '19 Kids and Counting' Son Named in Underage Sex Probe

    The charge being pursued while Josh was a minor was sexual assault in the fourth degree, multiple sources who have seen the police report and are familiar with the case told In Touch. According to the report, Josh was brought into the Arkansas State Police by his father, Jim Bob, who said he caught him leaving a young girl's bedroom and "learned something inappropriate happened," one source said.

    That sucks, and it's good that Jim Bob decided to handle things directly, but ...

    A bizarre turn of events prevented police and prosecutors from finishing their investigation and possibly prosecuting. The state trooper who originally took the report about Josh shortly before 2005 never followed up. That state trooper was later convicted on child pornography charges and is serving a 56-year prison sentence.

    What the fuckety fuck is going on in this town? Anyway, statute of limitations have passed so the investigation can't be resumed.

    Josh and his wife, Anna, have three children and live in Washington, D.C., where he is a lobbyist for the Family Research Council.

    I'm glad FRC is working hard to keep families safe.

    1. Certified Public Asskicker   10 years ago

      Eh, he was 14, the other girl was probably 12 or something and...

      Duggar sibling sexually assaulted sisters, another female, according to police report

      WHAT!

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        The middle bit about the police officer just takes the story to a different level though.

        1. Brett L   10 years ago

          So basically, the trooper probably took extensive notes and then kept them for baiting material.

          1. Trouser-Pod   10 years ago

            +1 Sweet Bang Tube

          2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            That's more or less what I got from it. I wonder if kiddie crimes were his normal beat. that's a horrifying thought.

            THIS KIDDIE PORN IS JUST WORK RESEARCH
            *carefully pulls hands out of pants and cleans lotion off*

    2. Tonio   10 years ago

      Well, at least they aren't filthy homos!

    3. Los Doyers   10 years ago

      EVERYONE IGNORE THIS LINK AND NOT COMMENT.

      1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

        Do I have to actively not comment and ignore the link, or can I continue to do so passively?

        1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

          I would repost it again in the AM links tomorrow and take all the cred.

          1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

            Sigh, Los Redundant.

      2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        Don't be a cock, Los Doyers. Did you read the article, are you not upset by this family that holds itself up as some kind of moral paragon being full of child-touchery?

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          I guess my options are now foreclosed. Please, jesse, can you tell us more about this?

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            What's more to tell? This guy was reported by his own father for touching his younger sibling(s) and now works for one of the nations preeminent "Family" (read socon/anti-gay) outfits to protect the sanctity of families.

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              Ewww, I don't like this story. Can you tell me another?

            2. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

              I don't find him inconsistant; he likes girls and hate gays.

              1. Tonio   10 years ago

                And one of the big blood libels promulgated against gays by socons is that we're child molesters. They're normally big on speaking out against child molestation, both real and imagined, but when yet they employ one to lobby against the homos.

                I'm thinking of a four-syllable wordy that rhymes with douchery.

        2. Los Doyers   10 years ago

          I just want to know which daughters are hot and on the market. The market by Mexican standards.

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            I'm guessing all the ones sitting on the couch by now?

            1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

              Odd. They all have very similar hair styles. You'd think with that many kids that they'd mix that up a bit.

              1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                With that many kids you've gotta go Fordism. You can't just hand-craft everything.

                1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                  I have four kids, but I can't imagine having anything remotely like that quantity. Do you have to organize them into departments, with older kids managing the younger kids?

                  1. Lord at War   10 years ago

                    with older kids managing the younger kids?

                    Why is that so unusual?

                    I learned to read because my mom or sister would read to me- then it was "time to cook dinner" or "you've got ballet practice" at the climax of the story. I learned math because I knew my sister(3 yrs older- to the day- we shared a birthday) was cheating at Monopoly, but I just couldn't prove it...

                    By the time I hit Kindergarten, I was reading and doing math at a 4th grade level- which is where my sister (in 2nd grade) was at the time.

                    How much do you think she hated having her 3 yrs younger brother in her Algebra class- when I was 10? lol

              2. Tonio   10 years ago

                Those may be DIY jobs and mom (or whoever gives them) only knows how to do one cut. Even at assembly line mall hair cutters that adds up quick for all those kids.

                1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                  Yeah, the expense of raising that many kids is staggering.

            2. Los Doyers   10 years ago

              I hope the spawner did her P90X - Kegels edition.

          2. lap83   10 years ago

            "She looked 12 to me"

        3. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

          To be fair, we already knew they were a bunch of child abusers.

          1. Banjos   10 years ago

            Sounds like only one of the older kids was.

            1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

              I assume Nicole is referring to two parents raising 19 kids.

              I think the response the parents had was underwhelming, but it's a nightmare scenario for any parent:

              The report states that the kids' father, Jim Bob Duggar, was first alerted by one of the alleged victims in March 2002. She allegedly told Jim Bob that Josh had been touching her genitals and breasts while she was sleeping, according to the report.

              The report states that Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar then learned that multiple incidents like this had occurred. Jim Bob told police, when he was interviewed in 2006, that the Duggars sent their son to a Christian program at the advice of their church elders. However, later in the report Michelle Duggar states where their son was sent was "not really a training center," rather he was sent to stay with an acquaintance and do manual labor.

              1. Banjos   10 years ago

                Having a very large family now equates to abuse? And yes the response was underwhelming but what was he suppose to do, call the cops on his 14 year old son? Seriously, would you do that to your own child?

                1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                  He did call the cops on his son, but then didn't follow through at all. Like I said, it's a nightmare scenario for a parent, but if there's a repeated pattern of behavior the son needs to be dealt with for the sake of the at least 5 girls that he's fondled.

                  Personally, I don't think having a large family is abuse, but I think expanding your family to maintain a TLC reality series might be creeping the fuck up on making you awful parents.

                  1. Banjos   10 years ago

                    "He did call the cops on his son"

                    Reread the articles, thought a family friend called the police, but it was his father who initially did, the police did nothing and he sent his son away to stay at a family friends while he did some manual labor.
                    Then it was brought to the police's attention again years later when a family friend called a child abuse hotline after reading personal journals/ letters or something of the incident in a book she borrowed from them. The police re interviewed the family and decided nothing was going on. The most abusive thing the father did was call the police to the begin with. Maybe there was no reason to follow through as it was something stupid the kid did when he was 14 and was set straight by being sent away. There appears to be no evidence of any abuse after the incident occurred. I'm not fond of their anti-gay preaching, but this is smelling like a cheap way to drag the family's name through the mud.

                    1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                      According to the inTouch article the police went away because it was past the statute of limitations for the incidences that were known to have occurred.

                      I don't necessarily have an issue with the family's response to it, I think it was weak, but I don't know that I would do better.

                      But there is something vaguely galling about Josh Duggar using his cachet as a TV 'star' and as a known quantity as coming from a wholesome 'real America' family to make his career with a group that is all about how other people should manage their families.

                    2. Lord at War   10 years ago

                      But there is something vaguely galling about Hillary Clinton using her cachet as a TV 'star' and FirstLady and as a known quantity as coming from a wholesome 'real America' family to make her career with a political party that is all about how other people should manage their families.

                2. Tonio   10 years ago

                  I think the correct response would have been to send him away, like to relatives with an all-boy family, or to boarding school. But then they might not have had money for either of those options because of all the other kids they chose to have.

        4. Pathogen   10 years ago

          I think it was the state trooper all the long, as evidenced by his latex "Josh" mask, and smoke machine later found at the seen of another crime. He would've gotten away with it if not for those meddling kids...

    4. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

      I have an alibi.

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        Your right hand can't be your alibi.

        1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

          HAH! Fooled you! I'm left handed!

          1. Pathogen   10 years ago

            Fool! You fell right into his trap....
            Your house of cards will come tumbling down like dominoes.. Checkmate!

            1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

              Jesse gets confused by mixed metaphors. Be gentle.

          2. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            Well then, I'm sure you can't be too bad of a guy. Go on your merry way.

            1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

              I'm sure you can't be too bad of a guy.

              You know better than that.

              1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                Shut up and get out of here in your windowless van before somebody notices I'm letting you go.

                1. Old Man With Candy   10 years ago

                  I'm almost done... give me 15 more seconds.... ahhhhhhhhh, that's it.

                  Don't tell your mommy, it's our special little secret.

                  1. Tonio   10 years ago

                    I find that unfunny and disturbing.

    5. Illocust   10 years ago

      So out of 19 kids only one has problems. The one with problems was reported to police by his father, and then when the police did nothing, his parent removed him from their home and sent him to a farm to do manual labor. Don't see how any of this reflects badly on the Duggars.

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        Don't see how any of this reflects badly on the Duggars.

        That sucks, and it's good that Jim Bob decided to handle things directly

        I don't either. Perhaps you didn't read my comment before responding to it. I don't think their response was perfect, but that's also because I'm not in the thick of it. It reflects poorly on Josh Duggar, and I'll be curious to see how the FRC's relationship with him changes as this unfolds.

        1. Lord at War   10 years ago

          It reflects poorly on Josh Duggar, and I'll be curious to see how the FRC's relationship with him changes as this unfolds.

          Hillary went on the Today Show and alleged a "vast right-wing conspiracy" was responsible for the allegations against her husband concerning Monica Lewinsky.

          I wonder if the relationship between Hillary and NBC has changed?

          Yup- They paid Chelsea $600k...

    6. Gene   10 years ago

      It's just perfect irony.

  29. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

    Blast from the past: The time Ezra Klein idiotically argued affirmative consent laws are great because we need men to be eternally terrified of sex.

    "If the Yes Means Yes law is taken even remotely seriously it will settle like a cold winter on college campuses, throwing everyday sexual practice into doubt and creating a haze of fear and confusion over what counts as consent. This is the case against it, and also the case for it. Because for one in five women to report an attempted or completed sexual assault means that everyday sexual practices on college campuses need to be upended, and men need to feel a cold spike of fear when they begin a sexual encounter."

    Ezra Klein sounds like an absolute blast in bed. His wife must be a very fulfilled woman.

    1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

      "On the dotted line...right there oh yeah....IN TRIPLICATE IN TRIPLICATE IN TRIPLICAAAAATTTEEEEE"

    2. Muzzle of Bees   10 years ago

      This is the case against it, and also the case for it.

      The cognitive dissonance! It burns!

    3. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

      Babcock signs in Toronto for 8 yrs/$50 million.

      INSANE. Hey, good for him. He took the money and ran. /cue Steve Miller Band.

      Great coach but McLellan was a better bargain I argue.

      1. Ted S.   10 years ago

        And the Leaves still won't win the Cup.

      2. Brett L   10 years ago

        I was hoping the Blues were getting rid of eternal bridesmaid Ken Hitchcock and got excited

    4. CatoTheElder   10 years ago

      Because for one in five women to report an attempted or completed sexual assault means that everyday sexual practices on college campuses need to be upended, and men need to feel a cold spike of fear when they begin a sexual encounter US college campuses are more dangerous than South Africa.

      Anybody who thinks this is an idiot.

  30. Certified Public Asskicker   10 years ago

    Should This High Schooler Have Been Suspended for Her 'Inappropriate' Dress?

    The most nauseating quote:

    Principal Tyler Telford told Yahoo Parenting he couldn't discuss the specifics of the suspension due to the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act, but said that "the best thing a parent can do for their child is support a teacher and the school."

    1. Pl?ya Manhattan.   10 years ago

      Bizarre. Especially considering the uniforms that the girls volleyball team wears.

    2. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

      "Should This High Schooler Have Been Suspended for Her 'Inappropriate' Dress?"

      With those shoes? Fuck yeah!

    3. lap83   10 years ago

      "the best thing a parent can do for their child is support a teacher and the school."

      ....if they want to completely stop giving a shit?

  31. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Spot the Not: mobster nicknames

    1. Hootie

    2. Junior Lollipops

    3. Vinny Carwash

    4. Peaches

    5. Mush

    6. Meatball

    1. Muzzle of Bees   10 years ago

      Going with Hootie.

    2. Tonio   10 years ago

      4

    3. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      1

    4. Wasteland Wanderer   10 years ago

      2

  32. Rich   10 years ago

    "These records reveal that before Hillary Clinton exited the State Department, there were serious concerns about her violating federal records laws. Yet, despite knowledge by the State Department and the Archives, nothing was done about it," said Dan Epstein of Cause of Action, which also demanded and received the Clinton-related messages the National Archives released this week under FOIA. "What's clear is that without pressure from transparency organizations like mine, the public would never get the full story of what happened behind the scenes regarding Mrs. Clinton's emails."

    FTFY

  33. Rich   10 years ago

    Man strips naked at Charlotte airport

    The man was not intoxicated but apparently having what was described as a medical issue. Police took him to a hospital for evaluation. He will not face any charges.

    OK, which of you clowns was this? SugarFree?

    1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

      BRO!

      TRIGGER WARNING: Unattractive man strips naked at Charlotte airport.

      1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

        Dadbods are in! The internet told me so.

        1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

          But only chicks like them, not homos.

          1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

            Whoa, way to speak for everyone. That man is unattractive by even dad-bod standards. "Rugby build" is totally a thing for many, myself included, homos.

            1. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

              You say that like I clicked through, jesse.

              1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

                DO IT!

                It's horrrrrrrrible. Even with the censor bar.

          2. Tonio   10 years ago

            There's a lot of dad bod acceptance, if not outright admiration, in the bear community, Nikki.

      2. Rich   10 years ago

        Sorry, jesse!

      3. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

        It's our hetero-privilege. We assume 'unattractive' goes without saying where men are mentioned 🙁

  34. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

    Doubling down on a wrong decision - is that stupidity or arrogance?

    Tom Cotton: We shouldn't be ashamed of the Iraq War

    1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

      Removing Sadaam ended the Iraq War that had been simmering since 1991. The situation was untenable. Invading was the right thing to do. Everything after Sadaam's capture if not removal was totally stupid. Bush was right to announce 'Mission Accomplished'. He should have followed through and left Iraq.

      1. BigT   10 years ago

        Can't agree. It sure would be nice right now if Iraq had a 'stable' government with a strong leader to counter-balance Iran. Saddam may have been evil, but have we really made things better? Saddam in a cage with the no-fly zone was a pretty good arrangement - in hindsight.

        1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

          Sadaam was breaking the cage and there is no reason to believe he was acting to contain Iran.

          Sadaam was throwing money at sunni jihadist organizations and I am pretty sure he'd throw a lot more of that into Syria.

    2. tarran   10 years ago

      I don't think Cotton is doubling down...

      I think the point he is making is very valid; that based on what the national security apparatus "knew" at the time, the decision to invade Iraq was the right one.

      He is not arguing that knowing what we know now that it was still the right decision - which is the point he is making with his statement about Pearl Harbor - just that with the knowledge the apparatus had at the time it was a right decision, and citing the broad support the invasion had between the members of the parties and the various factions within the government.

      With that having been said, I think he is wrong... The war failed to achieve its objectives; shoring up the security of the Saudi state while maintaining a viable Iraqi state as a buffer against Iran and as a less inflammatory location for U.S. bases in the middle east.

      The failure might not have been a tactical one, but it was a strategic one. And the fact was the information needed to predict the failure was also known to the apparatus that made the decision to invade. Anyone who isn't examining the systematic failure that led to such a poor decision seeming to be the right one and acknowledging the failure is pretty much guaranteed to make a similar mistake if they ever are faced with a similar situation.

  35. Derpetologist   10 years ago

    Spot the Not: translated names of real places

    1. Thank God

    2. Great Thirst

    3. You fish on your side, I fish on my side, no one fishes in the middle

    4. Milky Way Milky Way

    5. Head-bashed-in

    6. What?

    1. Bam!   10 years ago

      I sympathize with #6.

    2. DEG   10 years ago

      #3 is a lake in Massachusetts.

      I'll go with 5.

    3. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      4 - sounds like a joke about the real town of Hershey, PA.

      I read about 5 in Dave Barry.

      I was going to chide you for neglecting the Grand Tetons, but apparently there's some debate about whether the name actually has the cool origins attributed to it.

      http://www.trails.com/facts_12.....named.html

  36. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

    I'm so mad at Nicole for posting that ESB article. What am I even supposed to say to this?

    "Tracing Park's life online, I occasionally got the feeling I was looking at a picture in a high school yearbook taken before its subject could pose. Growing up has never been easy. Nor has it ever been something that definitively stops. I am reminded of Yeats's meditation on aging, "Among School Children": "O chestnut-tree, great-rooted blossomer, / Are you the leaf, the blossom or the bole? / O body swayed to music, O brightening glance, / How can we know the dancer from the dance?" A person's life is, of course, comprised of all its moments, and a person comprised of all his or her experiences taken together. But the Internet, with its instantaneous responses and global reach, tends to make the passage of phases harder than ever. Each of us, it increasingly seems, is one selfie-stick-snap or ill-considered tweet away from being permanently crystallized in a single moment of our immaturity, like insects preserved in amber."

    What is "the most awkward shoehorning of William Butler Yeats into a sentence," Alex?

    1. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

      I say we spend the rest of the week trying to top that.

      1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

        I'm just going to work William Butler Yeats poems into random situations from now on.

        Friend: "Hey, Irish, want to go see Mad Max this weekend?"

        Irish: "The fact that Mel Gibson is too old for that role now reminds me of William Butler Yeats' famous meditation on ageing:

        That is no country for old men. The young
        In one another's arms, birds in the trees,
        ?Those dying generations?at their song,
        The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
        Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
        Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
        Caught in that sensual music all neglect
        Monuments of unageing intellect."

        1. Viscount Irish, Slayer of Huns   10 years ago

          Friend: Okay, if you're going to talk like that, you're uninvited.

          Irish: I am so depressed and lonely now, which, coincidentally, reminds me of William Butler Yeats' famous formulation of sadness:

          There was a man whom Sorrow named his friend,
          And he, of his high comrade Sorrow dreaming,
          Went walking with slow steps along the gleaming
          And humming sands, where windy surges wend:
          And he called loudly to the stars to bend
          From their pale thrones and comfort him, but they
          Among themselves laugh on and sing alway:
          And then the man whom Sorrow named his friend
          Cried out, Dim sea, hear my most piteous story!

          1. Sudden   10 years ago

            I would participate in this farce, but it reminds me of a gruesome warning Yeats provided:

            Things fall apart the centre cannot hold,
            mere anarchy is loosed upon the world.

            1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

              That reminds me of this poem by Yeats:

              I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
              And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made:
              Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee;
              And live alone in the bee-loud glade.

              Which proved to be more popular than the sequel:

              Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
              Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
              Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

              1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                True* story - this is the earliest recorded poem by Yeats:

                There once was a man from Madras
                Who's balls were constructed of brass
                When jangled together
                They played stormy weather
                And lightening shot out of his ass!

                *or not

              2. Tonio   10 years ago

                I believe that sequel is actually Tolkein, Eddie. But if you believe it's Yeats, that's fine.

                1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                  We earthlings call that humor.

                  1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

                    But I stand corrected ... that dirty limerick was by Tolkien.

                2. BiMonSciFiCon   10 years ago

                  I... I think he was joking?

    2. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

      "I am reminded of________" = formula to shoehorn in anything anywhere anytime.

      1. Jerryskids   10 years ago

        I am reminded of the fact that Boris Johnson is a politician.
        .
        "It just doesn't make sense to have such a large number of minicab drivers in the capital." And who would know better than a politician the proper number of cabs for a city? Cab drivers or cab riders? Puh-leaze.

        1. Cytotoxic   10 years ago

          What a cunt.

    3. iCarl   10 years ago

      Thanks, Irish. I think I have cancer now.

      Each of us, it increasingly seems, is one selfie-stick-snap or ill-considered tweet away from being permanently crystallized in a single moment of our immaturity, like insects preserved in amber.

      I hope her critics beat her over the head for that next time she joins a Twitter mob. Though it's not as if it will work.

      1. Pan Zagloba   10 years ago

        She says "each of us." Her Twitter mob participation is reserved solely for "one of them." She's merely asking that Party members not be subjected to the kind of show trial that kulaks and wreckers deserve.

    4. Derpetologist   10 years ago

      Anybody who says or write " I am reminded of Yeats's meditation on aging.." deserves to have a glass of cold water poured on their head.

      That's the most pretentious tosh I've read since I heard a wine connoisseur say he wanted a merlot that was poignant but not overbearing.

      1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

        "Ah, yes, old chap, can you give me your very best Thunderbird, with just the right amount of sang-froid. Thank you, my man, no, I don't need it poured, I'll drink it right out of the bottle."

        1. Pathogen   10 years ago

          ..But please, moisten the paper bag..

      2. db   10 years ago

        "That wine was shallow *and* pedantic.

      3. Trouser-Pod   10 years ago

        deserves to have a glass of cold water poured on their headshoved up their ass.

        Sorry, Derp. I was reading that, and I really thought that was the direction you were going.

    5. Hey Nikki!   10 years ago

      What is "the most awkward shoehorning of William Butler Yeats into a sentence," Alex?

      That was my favorite part, too!!!

      1. db   10 years ago

        "I am reminded of something I just read for the first time last evening and seems like something you wouldn't have heard of but the right people will nod their heads knowingly."

    6. Ted S.   10 years ago

      That paragraph has a Yeats infection!

      1. Sudden   10 years ago

        *Draws photo of Swiss Servator's gaze on a paper, then bends the paper in to narrow Swiss Servator's gaze*

  37. Obese American   10 years ago

    Free Poutine, June 13 from 12-4 at Smoke's Poutinerie 1552 N. Cahuenga Blvd.

    Free Minds, Free Poutine!

    /shameless plug

    1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

      !!!

      POUTINE! in Los Angeles!!!

      *faints*

    2. Los Doyers   10 years ago

      I'll take two! With extra ranch dressing.

      1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

        Remind me to remind Pl?ya to beat you violently.

        1. Obese American   10 years ago

          There are some things we will not put on our poutine. Ranch dressing has got to be near the top.

          Except for when we have our boneless buffalo wing promotion...

    3. DEG   10 years ago

      Poutine is food of the gods.

      1. BakedPenguin   10 years ago

        Just found out my local Publix has cheese curds. Yesssssss.

    4. Sudden   10 years ago

      With Chicago poised to become the home of the Stanley Cup and L.A. poised to become the home of the world's greatest poutine, what will Canada be able to hang it's hat on now?

      1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

        Chicago who? Fuck you, we're coming for you, bitches.

        1. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

          How do you skate on a swamp, ProL?

          1. Los Doyers   10 years ago

            It's actually just alligators packed tightly together.

            1. Pathogen   10 years ago

              They have it coming..

          2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

            You freeze it with liquid nitrogen.

        2. Sudden   10 years ago

          You gave up five goals to the Rangers.

          The Rangers do not have the following players:

          Kane
          Toews
          Saad
          Shaw
          Hossa

          Therefore you will give up a million goals against the Blackhawks.

          It's like math and stuff.

          1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

            We'll see. They still have to finish off the Rangers, who are hard to kill.

            1. Sudden   10 years ago

              And we have to finish off the Ducks. I'm confident, though I'll readily concede that Andersen was damn near impossible to score on last game. But so was Crawford.

              1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

                We must break you.

          2. Greg   10 years ago

            And yet despite that the Rangers managed to finish 3rd in the league in goals for this season, while the Blackhawks finished 16th, 23 goals behind them.

            Maybe they've just gotta learn the new math though 😉

      2. Winston   10 years ago

        what will Canada be able to hang it's hat on now?

        Assisted Suicide?

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          Honestly? Canada will hang its hat on all of the Canadians, with some Russian help, that will be hoisting Lord Stanley's Cup, no matter which team wins.

  38. DEG   10 years ago

    Stop Online Ammunition Sales Act of 2015 introduced last week. Hopefully it goes nowhere.

    1. Suthenboy   10 years ago

      It is going nowhere.

    2. Injun, as in from India   10 years ago

      Every single cosponsor is from the Donkey party.

      "If you like your 2nd amendment freedoms, you can keep your 2nd amendment freedoms!"

    3. Pathogen   10 years ago

      Stop Online Ammunition Sales Fund the NRA-ILA to crush you political aspirations for your futile, self destructive gestures Act of 2015... for the children?

  39. Winston   10 years ago

    I saw SF Debris' review of The Battle, interesting. used to think that the Ferengi's misogyny and preventing women from wearing clothes was Roddenberry's inane tirade against the defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment. But since he wanted the Ferengi to have huge penises and 25 sexual positions it seems more likely that he wanted Ferengi females to be naked since he could imagine them fucking all the time.

    Also evil capitalist Ferengi with huge penises battling the perfect humans of the Federation where everyone is an atheist who agrees on everything (and no, "everyone" is not exaggeration), have gotten over death yet put Troi on the bridge and speechify all the time about their perfection is another thing that J.J. Abrams ruined.

    1. Winston   10 years ago

      Oh Damn, I forgot the Enterprise was supposed to have huge tanks of water with whales in them.

    2. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

      One secret to understanding Roddenberry is understanding that he was a very horny man.

      1. Winston   10 years ago

        Explains Majel Barrett and his free love future.

        1. Pro Libertate   10 years ago

          I believe he had relations with Lt. Uhura, too.

      2. Winston   10 years ago

        Another secret is that he was one of those Great Society Liberals who tried to pretend 'Nam wasn't JFK and LBJ's doing who got disenchanted with Nixon and Reagan so he turned from stuff like the Omega Glory to creating the Ferengi.

  40. GILMORE   10 years ago

    "I have no idea if there was such a discussion," Garner told POLITICO. "No one ever had it with me, and even if they had....."

    A spokesman for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign said it knew nothing about storing her records at the library.

    "We are not aware of any plan along the lines of what appears to have been discussed...."

    Such strong denials.... clearly there's no story here

  41. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

    Guess the yes - who said this:

    "...the so-called "experts" have multiplied, who have taken the role of parents even in the most intimate aspects of education. On emotional life, on personality and on development, on rights and duties the "experts" know everything: objectives, motivations, techniques. And parents must only listen, learn and adapt themselves. Deprived of their role, they often become excessively apprehensive and possessive in dealing with their children, to the point of not correcting them ever: "You can't correct your child." They tend increasingly to entrust them to the "experts," even for the most delicate and personal aspects of their life, putting themselves in the corner, and thus parents today run the risk of excluding themselves from the life of their children."

  42. Winston   10 years ago

    Guess who said this:

    "walking in a dream? in superb unconsciousness, believing that what had been must be, and that as long as they did nothing absolutely wrong, and they did not displease their immediate superiors, they had fulfilled all the duties of their station". These officials worshipped political economy "as a sort of "fetish"... [they] seemed to have forgotten utterly that human life was short, and that man did not subsist without food beyond a few days". Three-quarters of a million people had died because officials had chosen "to run the risk of losing the lives than to run the risk of wasting the money".

    1. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      OK, I cheated, it's from a 19th century parliamentary debate on an Indian famine.

      1. Winston   10 years ago

        His experiences being bullied at Boarding school left him suspicious of democracy.

    2. Paul.   10 years ago

      Agile cyborg?

  43. Jerryskids   10 years ago

    Guess who said this:
    .
    "Dat'n-doo-dow dow-dat'n-doo-dow
    Dat'n-doo-dow dow-dow-dow
    Dat'n-doo-dow dow-dat'n-doo-dow
    Dat'n-doo-dow dow"

    1. Paul.   10 years ago

      You know when you almost can recognize a song, it's almost materializing in your head but it's not quite there?

    2. Notorious G.K.C.   10 years ago

      That's Dietrich Buxtehude's Prelude and Fugue in D minor - come one, give us a challenging question!

  44. oobins   10 years ago

    The NSA and other intelligence agencies targeted app stores to plant spyware on smartphones, files released by Edward Snowden reveal.

    What nonsense. Phones already have back-door access by NSA and any other FedGov as well as State/Local Gov (cooperative "justice" entities), why would they need a new layer via "app stores"?

    Also, free (as in, no obstacles/hurdles to it) monitoring of your phone activity exists regardless of your use of an "app store" or downloading and installing apps from any such "app store."

    Snowden's B-movie actor pronouncements sure do fool a lot of ignorami.

  45. ricky787878   10 years ago

    Republican's are gunning for another war...Spending taxpayer dollars on trails about how President Obama's strategy in Iraq is failing against ISS...However the war of the past has left 67,495 in 2011 to 62,619 in 2012 Veterans Homeless...These are men and women who fought in these egregious wars for congress Republicans...Men and women left with PTSD or without an arm or leg...Homeless and pennyless and ever still Republicans in Congress with their House Speaker push for yet another war.... Meanwhile our First Lady is pushing bigger and better Ideas: First Lady Michelle Obama Highlights New Orleans' and Other Cities' Progress in Ending Veteran Homelessness | April 20, 2015...Hurray for the Obama's! So not only are congress controlled Republicans' not creating jobs or raising the minimim wage to a livable wage...Or not all trying to pay back the Social Security Republicans have spent on war or misused...No Republicans are once again heading this country right back into war debt while never caring or thinking of our past and future veterans! Begs to question why anyone would vote Republicans into control of the USA house and Senate???

  46. Ted S.   10 years ago

    At least the right team lost.

    Too bad they couldn't lose Game 5 in the last round. 🙁

  47. Rufus J. Firefly   10 years ago

    Yup. Fun.

  48. jesse.in.mb   10 years ago

    I thought we all took for granted that the Kiwis fucked sheep.

  49. Crusty Juggler   10 years ago

    I agree. I am disappointed that she looks so un-slutty. LAME.

  50. Furburguesa   10 years ago

    Why can't everyone fuck sheep?

  51. mr lizard   10 years ago

    Go Bolts you stoooopid warm-blooded bipedal snacks

  52. Steve G   10 years ago

    NEEDZ MOAR LOBSTER

  53. Enough About Palin   10 years ago

    Bitch rolls a damn good joint.

  54. Wasteland Wanderer   10 years ago

    You know who else fucked sheep?

  55. Lord at War   10 years ago

    We are fail- she's in the second row of google images...

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