Boston Bomber Gets Death Sentence, Rick Perry Running Again, B.B. King Dead: P.M. Links

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  • Also running. Soon to be "also-ran"?
    Credit: Gage Skidmore / photo on flickr

    Add former Texas Gov. Rick Perry to the GOP presidential candidate stew.

  • Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the surviving Boston Marathon bomber, has been sentenced to death.
  • ISIS has seized control of parts of Ramadi, the capital of Iraq's largest province.
  • Sixteen cops in Miami Beach are being probed over a bunch of racist and pornographic e-mails sent out by two former top officers. The city is concerned their testimony may have been compromised by racial bias.
  • An anonymous social care worker contacted The Atlantic's Conor Friedersdorf and explained why it's dangerous to call the police in to deal with developmentally disabled people.
  • The prime minister of Luxembourg, Xavier Bettel, is the first European Union leader to get gay-married.
  • Blues legend B.B. King is dead at the age of 89. He reportedly died peacefully in his sleep.

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NEXT: BREAKING: Boston Bomber Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Sentenced to Death

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  1. Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the surviving Boston Marathon bomber, has been sentenced to death.

    He was just too dreamy for this world.

    1. Chris Kyle is no different than Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

      1. It will be true soon enough, I suppose. Dead is dead.

        1. I give it 50/50 odds that he’ll be dead in 10 years.

          1. Not a chance in hell. He’s going to fight all the way, and the scum who runs America love Islamic terrorists.

            1. awww somebodys grumpy!

        2. If it’s federal, I suppose it will move along faster. McVeigh was executed 6 years after his bombing. In CA, he would die of old age.

          1. it won’t. McVeighs’ went faster because he convinced a judge to allow him to drop all his appeals. Which are automatic for death penalty cases.

      2. Jews are no different than Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

        1. His family is still blaming a zionist conspiracy. Smart people, they are.

        2. You’re Richman’s new editor, I see. When is his op-ed going to be ready for posting on the site?

          1. He’ll try slipping it in right before or right after a nutpunchy article, or maybe the afternoon links, but we’ll know. We always find out.

    2. Hello.

      B.B. King gets his link!

  2. Blues legend B.B. King is dead at the age of 89. He reportedly died peacefully in his sleep.

    Has anyone heard what Lou Reed thinks about his death?

    1. I got to see BB King live once, about 25 years ago. He was pretty amazing, even though 65 years old at the time. Truly a great.
      How many other musicians can you say where the average Joe knew the name of their particular instrument? Just about everyone knows King’s guitar was named Lucille.

      1. Few musicians deserve accolades like King does.

      2. Passerby: Loose seal! Watch out for loose seal!

        Buster: I don’t care about Lucille!

      3. His “Live at the Regal”, best blues record ever,

      4. I saw him in the early 80’s. Great show, fantastic band.

      5. I went to college in Nashville, and I worked at a brewpub downtown called “Big River” right across from the Hard Rock Cafe.

        BB King bought the business, to convert it into one of the first ‘BB Kings Blues Clubs’ (the one in memphis already existed)

        He decided to have his birthday party in Nashville that year (~94/95?), which involved a big free concert on the riverfront (w/ Etta James, Jimmy Ray Vaughn, Bonny Raitt, some others etc).

        Everyone who worked at the brewpub was invited to a dinner party before the show with BB and everyone else. Basically we got to drink beer and eat ribs with all the performers. I suppose it was to be nice to people since most were going to be laid off while they renovated the entire space.

        Anyway, i got a chance to say hello, and talk with him briefly. I’ve played guitar my whole life, and it was a real thrill. I’d seen some instructional video with him years before and it was surprisingly enlightening for some of the subtle techniques he used to articulate notes (like ‘pinky vibrato’, how he used hammer ons/offs). He seemed thrilled to learn that young people were still trying to bite his chops.

        At the time, i think i expected him to drop dead at any moment since he seemed like he must have weighed 400 pounds. He had a good run. RIP

  3. Add former Texas Gov. Rick Perry to the GOP presidential candidate stew.

    He’ll find out if the third time’s a charm.

    1. Don’t stop believing.

      1. Hold on to that feeling.

        1. STREEEET LIGHTS. PEEEE-OHHH-WOOOOAH-OHHH-OHHHH!

          There are three songs that everyone will sing in a bar, no matter what sort of bar, and they all know the words even if they would never admit it outside the bar. “Sweet Caroline”, “Family Tradition” and “Don’t Stop (Believing)”.

          1. I….I don’t think I’ve even heard of those first two songs.

            1. You poor, deprived child. Suffer no longer, for I bring tidings of comfort and joy.

              It isn’t the same without a bunch of drunks yelling the extra bits, though.

            2. The first one is by Neil Diamond, and urban legend has it it’s about Caroline Kennedy, which is creepy since she would have been about 9 at the time the song was a hit. I don’t recognize the second title at all.

              Of course, at a gay bar, the songs everybody will stop and sing are “Believe” by Cher; “You Make Me Feel” by Sylvester; and “It’s Raining Men” by the Weather Girls. 😉

              1. “she would have been about 9 at the time”

                But, she would have been a woman *soon* . . .

              2. BS.

                I had to get my karaoke fix on in Dayton at a gay bar. It was all showtunes. Suddenly Semour was the one I recognized. Also Cabaret.

                /Bar was outlaw, so I did Everlong and Desperately Wanting. Apparently, some of the women were straight, but I’m back to FL soon, so screw them fuglies.

          2. Here in Texas, you can add “You Never Even Called Me By My Name” to that list.

            Although I don’t think I know the words to “Sweet Caroline”.

            1. I worked on a hippie farm last summer in Tennessee, and on this homemade stage a homeless guy butchered the words. Well, it was all that I could do to keep from crying.

              1. Hilarious life experiences: being at the rodeo with a guy from Peru in a barbecue cook-off tent when David Allen Coe came on. Everybody in the damn tent is half (or more) plowed and singing along except for him. He had absolutely no idea what was happening.

          3. Been in the bar business for the past 8 years. Never heard of ‘Family Tradition’. Googled it and now I know why: It’s Hank Jr and I live in New York.

            As much as in like Neil Diamond, I hate when that song comes on. And ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ got real old real fast.

            Jay-Z’s ‘Empire State of Mind’ is in this category too.

            1. I’m easily amused. I had Sweet Caroline and Don’t Stop Believing on my work playlist.

              I’ve never been to a bar in New Yawk. All sorts of bars, all sorts of states, but not NY yet. In fairness, the sort of bar I go to might be a biker bar, pool hall, local pub or strip club but it does always seem to be the sort of place where turning the jukebox down or touching the TV remote when college football is on will get you shanked. I might have to admit a bias.

              1. Local bars here, at least the ones that cater to 30 somethings, play a lot of classic rock, modern indie or whatever it’s called these days (MGMT, Daft Punk, Black Keys, Kings of Leon, Jack White…).

                Then there’s the hip hop places and clubs but I don’t go there because I’m not an asdhole.

              2. I had Sweet Caroline and Don’t Stop Believing on my work playlist.

                You are DEAD to me.

                1. What I’m hearing you say is that you’d like to know what ELSE I might have on my playlist which could be even worse.

                  Because there is worse. Oh, yes, there is worse. I live to torture my line cooks, and possession of the music station is a privilege afforded to rank.

                  Easily. Amused.

                  1. You are a horrible human being. Horrible.

                    1. *beams proudly*

            2. “Sweet Caroline” is nowhere near as bad as “Hotel California”.

              1. On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair, something something, I thought I heard them say welcome to the Hotel Reason you can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave.

                Not such a lovely place.

                1. When I was fifteen, a friend stayed the night one weekend. My father must have forgotten that he’d given me permission to have a friend stay over, because Saturday morning, we wake up at the crack of noon to the usual. The radio blaring “Hotel California”, my father cooking pancakes and singing into his spatula, dancing. In whitey tighties.

                  Scarred for life, I was.

                  1. Please tell me you then exclaimed “come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin’ Eagles, man!”

                    1. If that weren’t about five years too soon, you can rest assured that I would have, my good man.

              2. I fucking hate the eagles, man. But it’s the rare karaoke bar that has it (or if they do, it’s a 3-minute version). Take it easy, though….

            3. “Been in the bar business for the past 8 years. Never heard of ‘Family Tradition’. Googled it and now I know why: It’s Hank Jr and I live in New York.”

              New York is the most provincial, self-absorbed place in the country.

              1. Try being a libertarian here. It’s hell.

          4. “Friends in Low Places”

            Even city folk know that one.

            1. How about some Jimmy Buffett – “Why don’t we get drunk, and screw..”

              Same tradition, and required drunken sing-along knowledge.

              1. And to bring it full circle to BB King and the Nashville music scene – Ugly.

                Live version, so you have to skip a bit to get to the song. Key lyric:

                “I ain’t no tragedy. Make me your charity. I’ll give you a chance to see that ugly’s only skin deep. ”

                That’s quality stuff right there…

          5. FREE BIRD!

            1. I larfed. You remember? I remember.

    2. You know who else liked to add things to stew?

      1. Julia Child?

      2. The Donner party?

        1. Heh

        2. It really doesn’t seem like much of a party to me.

          1. You’d think a Donner party would be festive, given it was named after one of Santa’s reindeer.

            1. Yeah, but not the one with the coke nose.

              1. Yeah, but not the one with the coke nose.

                That was The Rudolph Party they made it over the Sierras with no difficulty. Their descendents have largely faded into obscurity!

      3. Emeril Lagasse?

      4. eBaker.

      5. Merle Haggard?

  4. ISIS has seized control of parts of Ramadi, the capital of Iraq’s largest province.

    Eh, La Quinta’s are way nicer.

    1. I thought we were winning, according to the JournoList.

      1. We’ll be winning until November 2016, at which whether we’re winning will depend on which party wins the election.

        1. So we’ll be winning in 2016.

      2. I thought we weren’t involved in Iraq anymore (ha ha).

        1. Apparently, you thought wrong…. a friend of mine is going to be deployed to Iraq in the coming weeks. It must be something significant, because he has had health issues but they are sending him anyways. He didn’t tell us what the orders are, only that it will be “interesting, because we don’t have a base there right now” (his words).

          1. What’s his MOS?

    2. La Quinta’s what are way nicer?

  5. …explained why it’s dangerous to call the police in to deal with developmentally disabled people.

    Or, you know, anything.

  6. The LA City Council apparently thought that they weren’t going to drive away quite enough jobs and employers with a $15 minimum wage, so they decided to throw in a required paid leave policy as well for good measure. http://www.latimes.com/local/l…..story.html

    1. I live 3 miles from city limits. It’s going to do wonders for my local economy. Bring on the full retard, LA.

      1. The city limits of LA? What is that these days… Arizona?

        1. They actually do own some significant land in AZ. Also, in the Sierra Nevadas (for water rights in the Owens Valley).

          LAX is right on the border, and I live down the beach from there…

        2. I assume its only bounded by San Diego, San Fran, Arizona and the sea. Playa must live in Yuma.

          1. That Agricultural Checkpoint is a real pain in the ass on his commute

      2. 3 miles probably isn’t far enough.

        1. All of the airport commerce is expanding south, outside of city limits. There are vacant buildings on the LA side of the airport, but nobody wants anything to do with it.

          1. I’m just thinking that your town will probably implement the same thing soon enough.

            1. We have a different kind of idiot on our city council.

              The minimum wage thing is a push by unions, of which we have none in my town.

    2. What’s amazing to me is that so many of the dirt clods backing these laws think it’s the way to reduce income inequality, as if Bill Gates’s Microsoft shares value will somehow be paying for local businesses’ minimum wage staff.

      Instead, it’s really going to make income inequality even worse, by increasing unemployment, and raising the cost of living, while not even glancing the billionaires of the world. But small business owners will be the ones who suffer most, while being prevented from becoming affluent, as their cost of doing business will skyrocket — and they’ll probably have to do a ton more work themselves because they won’t be able to pay for employees to help them.

      Way to go, nitwits. You are actually making things even better for the .001 %, insulating them by preventing other people from having a shot at becoming wealthy. And I’m sure when your favorite local dive, boutique, bookstore or music shop goes under, it’s only because the owners just weren’t very good at running a business, right?

      1. I was watching Deblasio and Warren jerking each other off over the $15 movement the other day and I could only shake my head at the thought that people actually fall for this flapdoodle. There are millions of people out of work and this is their solution. I just can’t even.

        1. Thanks for the image……

          /shudder

          1. *waggling flapdoodle*

            yw

      2. This is all about unions. Most SEIU and teamster contracts are pegged to the minimum wage. This isn’t about an immigrant janitor making $15 an hour. It’s about members of their union making $30 an hour.
        Plain and simple.

        1. I figured that union thing out several years ago. It gives a whole new perspective on the whole minimum wage debate.

      3. And I’m sure when your favorite local dive, boutique, bookstore or music shop goes under, it’s only because the owners just weren’t very good at running a business, right?

        No it will be because some big box store put them out of business with predatory practices. There is always a greedy villain. Always.

    3. I must have a form of dyslexia.

      Whenever I see http://www.latimes.com I perceive http://www.latrines.com.

  7. The prime minister of Luxembourg, Xavier Bettel, is the first European Union leader to get gay-married.

    You know what other European leader got married while under fire for what he was doing?

    1. Henry VIII?

    2. Edward VIII?

    3. Peter the Great?

    4. Nero?

    5. Elton John in 1984?

    6. Guido Westerwelle?

    7. Emperor Leo VI of Byzantium?

    8. The Duke of Anjou?

    9. The Eleventh Earl of Mar?

  8. Although I am generally against the death penalty, the main reason I would have preferred that Tsarnayev didn’t get death is that if he were going to life in prison we would be much more likely never to hear anything about him again. His impending execution will keep him in the news for who knows how long.

    1. He’s due for another Rolling Stone cover soon.

      1. That was Bob Dylan. I knew they have the same hair, but sheesh.

      2. Bet somebody in prison grabs his MF’ing leg

    2. Not only that, again given his age, there’s the possibility he realizes he fucked up. And then the real sad begins.

    3. I’m against the death penalty for a number of reasons, one of which is that I, personally, would rather die than spend decades in a cage. Yours is another good reason for high profile cases like this.

  9. An anonymous social care worker contacted The Atlantic’s Conor Friedersdorf and explained why it’s dangerous to call the police in to deal with developmentally disabled people.

    FIFY

    1. I doubt Friersdorf has made that leap. But perhaps with time.

      1. Friedersdorf is better on police than 99.5% of pundits/journalists.

        1. yeah – the fact he’d write the article he did proves that.

  10. Sixteen cops in Miami Beach are being probed over a bunch of racist and pornographic e-mails sent out by two former top officers.

    Now, if they had all simply beat a citizen half (or all the way) to death, they wouldn’t be getting hassled like this.

    1. You don’t understand! THEY SENT EMAILS!!!

    2. These days, is the only thing that gets a cop fired.

      1. I didn’t read the article and I haven’t been following this story. But since this is the internet and I did see a few minutes of an interview with the former police chief this morning, I feel qualified to comment:

        From what I heard this morning, it sounds like the “investigation” into the emails was designed to be a political hit piece and tarnish the former chief. (Martinez?… dunno, wasn’t paying that much attention) Anyway, the local station was slanting things the way the IA report wanted them to, and they interviewed the former chief about it. He pointed out that the bulk of the emails are from before he took over, and once he took over and he learned of it, he took corrective action and made sure that things changed.

        I don’t know any more than what I heard in a single news story, but the way they were trying to make him look guilty by association and his response about the timing and his actions to stop it made me think it was all a political smear campaign directed against a single person. Not sure what office he’s running for, but it certainly didn’t sound like a simple retired police chief talking.

        1. How dare you try to bring context into this.

  11. Spot the Not: wacky lyrics from national anthems

    1. Our mighty chiefs crushed the skulls of their enemies into dust under the steel hooves of their war steeds!

    2. The fragrance from your mango groves makes me wild with joy. Ah, what a thrill!

    3. Freedom does not bloom from the blood of the dead. Torturous slavery’s tears fall from the burning eyes of the orphans!

    4. The peoples of the Americas, unfortunately, were oppressed for three centuries by a scepter.

    5. Priests, lead with your crucifixes, for our army is Christian. The motto is liberty and its goal is holy.

    6. Pierce the gloom in which we cower with Thy sunshine’s cleansing power.

    1. 4… unfortunately is a very mild word for a national anthem

    2. 5?

    3. 3. Isn’t that from Libertopia’s anthem?

    4. 2

    5. 1 is the Not. I made that one up while thinking about the song Ghost Riders in the Sky. The rest in order are from Bangladesh, Hungary, Paraguay, Romania, and Switzerland.

      1. I guess Jefferson would be having some disagreements with Hungary.

  12. The officials said Thursday that the incidents may have compromised dozens of criminal cases in which the officers were witnesses.

    Why? If during the trial they “told the truth” etc.

    1. About that….

  13. Spot the Not: even more wacky lyrics from national anthems

    1. Oh, unfading glory! Oh, immortal joy! In furrows of pain, goodness now germinates.

    2. Clothe him with the shining mantles of our festivals. Clothe him with the shining mantles of our festivals. Clothe him with the shining mantles of our festivals.

    2. My land is sacred, my flag flies in the world. A symbol of the great neutral country flies.

    4. Hasten to glory and supremacy, glorify the Creator of the heavens! And raise the green flag carrying the written light reflecting guidance.

    5. Giant by thine own nature, thou art beautiful, thou art strong, an impavid colossus, and thy future mirrors that greatness.

    6. Hark! The sound of the yak horn trumpet calls the faithful; let us tie on little bells and charge into battle!

    1. Makes me feel a lot better about the Star Spangled Banner.

      1. Yeah, right?

    2. *** cleverly increasing chances ***

      2

    3. Technical question, D.

      Is it “(the written light) reflecting guidance” or “the written (light-reflecting guidance)”?

      Or, post the untranslated lyric.

    4. 6

      1. Winner!

        O Lord, our God, arise,
        Scatter her enemies,
        And make them fall.
        Confound their politics,
        Frustrate their knavish tricks,
        On Thee our hopes we fix,
        God save us all.

        -Actual lyrics to UK national anthem

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vwxP4pIruzE

    5. 2

    6. oopsy. I put 2 2s. Well, that’s what I get for going to clown college.

      1. If one of them is the right answer, it’s the one I meant.

  14. Poll: One-Third Of Republicans Think Obama Wants To Invade Texas

    – See more at: http://www.rightwingwatch.org/…..swjPA.dpuf

    1. Rightwingwatch.org.

      Of course that’s what you do with your time.

      1. What else would a paid JournoList whose schtick is to pretend that he’s a conservative do with his time?

        1. Jerk off farm animals?

          1. I thought backwards-capital-of-Syldavia had that covered.

            1. (that is a joke)

          2. Jerk off farm animals?

            No…there is a socially redeeming aspect to that….for the animals at least. Obamafellating is what weigelplug does!

            Totally different!

    2. “Take over” and “Invade” are not the same thing. Seems to me that the federal government took over Texas, at least to some extent, some time ago. And I imagine Obama would like to take over some more.

      That is some bad poll interpretation. It also doesn’t specify which government. Which makes it a very bad question. The Texas government already controls Texas and the Fed does in many ways. I don’t know how I would answer the question yes or no. Governments want to control things. That’s what they do. But since several governments already control Texas, it’s not clear what anyone should answer even if you know what they think.

      1. The right-wing frenzy over an upcoming military exercise called Jade Helm 15 has swept up the Republican governor of Texas and several other GOP leaders who wonder if the drill is part of a plan by President Obama to seize Texas, impose martial law, confiscate firearms and throw conservatives into closed Walmart stores that have been converted into FEMA camps.

        Among Republicans, PPP found that supporters of former Texas Gov. Rick Perry and Texas Sen. Ted Cruz were most likely to believe the conspiracy theory.

        1. You are just quoting more of the terrible interpretation of the poll. Read the actual fucking questions. They asked nothing about any conspiracy theory or invasion scenario or Jade Helm.

          Yes, of course some people believe the crazy conspiracy theory.

  15. Today, the socialists unveiled their latest weapon to bring the world to its knees: painfully boring speeches.

    https://youtu.be/nTuBCt5F68Y?t=15m30s

    1. I made it thirty seconds.

      God. Awful.

      1. It’s OK. This is why you have derp professionals like me.

        1. I’m baking bread today, and I swear the yeast screamed in agony when that droning fool’s voice came over the speakers.

    2. I made it five seconds and almost fell asleep out of boredom from the droning sound of his voice. Apparently being a socialist means you don’t have to develop a personality.

  16. My alma mater makes me proud.
    http://t.co/OCNCahrsTm

    1. At last, some uplifting news! 😎

    2. Boiler Up!

  17. Sixteen cops in Miami Beach are being probed over a bunch of racist and pornographic e-mails sent out by two former top officers. The city is concerned their testimony may have been compromised by racial bias.

    Crockett and Tubbs?

    1. MIAMI AND MIAMI BEACH AREN’T THE SAME THING. Racist.

      1. Every single cop show based in “Miami” seems to think that “Miami” encompasses everything from the coast westward to the Everglades, and from the southernmost part of the mainland all the way to around Orlando.

        1. CSI: Miami Area. There, satisfied?

          1. *takes off sunglasses*

            Justice is always satisfying.

            *puts sunglasses back on*

              1. That is perfection.

          2. CSI: Dade

          3. CSI: Dade

  18. Goddammit, I agree with Jessica Valenti.

    “Students in new Jersey have similarly been informed that students wearing attire deemed too revealing will be removed from prom – without refund. Schools are actually offering “prom packets” that will outline appropriate clothing choices. And one young woman in Pennsylvania was actually suspended for her choice of dress – a gorgeous floor length red dress with full sleeves. So why the punishment? According to student Alexus Miller-Wigfall, the assistant principal told her, “You have more boobs than other girls. The other girls have less to show.” Our educators in action!”

    “The truth is that schools aren’t worried about “proper attire” – if they were, no one would be suggesting t-shirts as a reasonable alternative to a strapless gown. They’re worried about young women’s sexuality and any display of said sexuality. It’s a last grasp at sexism before young women head off into the world as adults.”

    Hear hear! Of course, next week Jessica Valenti will be bitching about tits in video games or something and won’t realize the similarity between her complaints and those of these prudes.

    1. That’s beyond stupid. Of course breast size makes a difference in how modest your clothing is. My step sister and I own a identical shirt. I’m small boobed, she is stacked. I can wear the shirt to business meetings and get compliments on how classy I look. If she doesn’t wear a camousel under her’s it is straight up indecent.
      Same difference between my little sister and I compared to our mother. We both regularly wear shirts to dress occasions that would make her look like she was going clubbing.
      I don’t know why feminists like Jessica pretend that body type doesn’t factor in if clothing is modest or not, but their denial of reality isn’t going to make it so.

      1. We’ll need some pictures to help us understand what’s indecent. For social justice, of course.

        1. TIWTANLW

      2. You should look at the actual picture. If you go and click on the link, in that paragraph, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with the dress the girl was wearing.

        1. In this instance, I see nothing indecent about the dress or the boobs in them. Illocust is in the broader sense correct, on the other hand. I’m small (like, practically a midget), and thin-boned with big tits. A dress suitable for a church potluck can look pornographic on me. I can bitch about how unfair it is that I have to pay attention to my necklines when other gals with milder builds can wear wot they likes, or I can deal with reality.

          When one is born to privilege, it comes with certain responsibilities.

          1. with big tits

            Go on.

            Please.

    2. Of course, next week Jessica Valenti will be bitching about tits in video games or something and won’t realize the similarity between her complaints and those of these prudes.

      If she were capable of self awareness, she wouldn’t be a SJW feminist.

    3. “You have more boobs than other girls. The other girls have less to show.”

      He should have said “Check your boob privilege.”

  19. Lou fucking Reed gets practically an entire day of dedicated posts when his sorry ass finally bought the farm. BB King gets a mention in the PM links.

    HIPSTERS!!!

    1. Would you care for some kombucha?

    2. Yeah, I’m with John. With all due respect to Lou, King is a fucking legend.

    3. Racists!!!

      1. No, it’s just Gillespie and Welch have terrible, nay, horrific musical tastes.

        1. They really do. The only one that doesn’t is Jesse Walker. The rest of them are the worst sorts of hipster ilk.

        2. You can’t air drum to B.B. King.

        3. Hear, hear.

    4. Most folks are not into blues, John. No need to get worked up. My favorite blues guys are Hound Dog Taylor who died 30 years ago and Missippi Fred McDowell who has also been dead for decades.

      I also like Lou Reed, he was never a hipster, he was an unhipster 40 years ago.

      You should refrain from commenting about tunes if you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.but

      I’m on your side in some cases, but you are talking out your ass here. STFU when you have no knowledge of the subject, which you obviously don’t.

  20. http://www.washingtonpost.com/…..ns-united/

    Remember there is no difference between the parties. The Democrats just want to stack the Supreme Court and effectively repeal the 1st and 2nd Amendments.

    1. Hillary Clinton’s Supreme Court Litmus Test A Pledge to Overturn Citizens United Throw People Who Make Fun of Her In Jail

      FTFY.

    2. Team Red and Team Blue both want to get rid of the 1st. Team Blue wants to get rid of the 2nd. Team Red and Team Blue both want to get rid of the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th. Team Red wants to get rid of the 8th. Neither of them realize the 9th or 10th exists.

      I’m sure they’d get rid of the 3rd as well if they could find a good enough excuse for it.

      1. They don’t want to get rid of the 3rd so long as there’s a chance a base will be built in their district.

    3. Still, the prominent role that wealthy donors are expected to play in boosting her bid could make it hard for Clinton to cast herself as a champion of campaign finance reform,

      Gee, ya think?

      My god she is awful.

      1. It’s really quite amazing how awful she is. Not secretly awful. Blatantly so. Ten years ago, the Democrats would’ve executed this woman themselves, to save the campaign. Now, they just spin around, hoping she’ll somehow vanish. Except for those crazy enough to want her to win because of her formerly functional sexual organs, regardless of her lack of competence, integrity, personality, real experience, etc.

    4. The Republicans want to stack the Supreme Court and effectively repeal the 1st, 4th, 9th and 10th Amendments.

      1. They have a majority right now. And they are the ones who decided Citizens United. And last I looked it isn’t the Republicans who want to make it a crime to object to gay marriage.

        What the fuck are you talking about? I

        1. Yeah, I don’t see flag burning coming up again.

        2. I’m talking about recent history, John. Repubs tried to outlaw flag burning in 2006, the last time they had the White House. Stop pretending that there is any difference between the two other than who is in power at the moment.

          1. The Flag Burning Amendment is based on idolatry of patriotic symbols, the opposition for Citizens United is the desire to control the political debate. There is a tremendous difference between the two in intent.

            1. Yes one would outlaw protest as political speech while the other would outlaw independent expenditures as political speech.

              Explain to us again why we should support either one of these packs of assholes, please.

    5. Hillary Clinton also either doesn’t know how the Supreme Court works or assumes her supporters are too dumb to know. Hint: The Supreme Court can’t just overturn Citizens United, a case regarding that same subject would have to come before the court in order for them to have that opportunity. Since the Republicans may still control the Senate and will almost certainly control the House, you’re not going to see any campaign finance reform laws passed should Hillary Clinton become president. That means the Supreme Court definitely isn’t going to have the opportunity to overturn the Citizens United decision since no one’s going to bring a related case before them.

      So she’s dumb.

      1. Remember, she would be President. Once she replaced one of the conservative justices, she just starts enforcing the law again. The victims will appeal and the case will be overturned.

      2. Hillary Clinton also either doesn’t know how the Supreme Court works or assumes her supporters are too dumb to know.

        It could be both. I’m gonna go with both, final answer.

      3. You’re not suggesting that she may be engaging in empty political posturing, are you?

      4. Here are a few ways Clinton could challenge Citizens United:

        Executive Order that corporations can’t carry political material.

        Order troops stationed in a corporate headquarters. When challenged, take it to the Supreme Court so that they’ll rule corporations don’t have rights.

        Run a dirty campaign that will drive the Republicans to call for campaign finance reform.

    6. If the Democrats succeed in overturning Citizens United, I hope some politician, somewhere, asserts the logical consequence ? a search warrant isn’t required to confiscate files form the Democratic Party’s offices.

  21. Don’t text ‘beer’ in S. Korea: Words that trigger teen alerts

    “Smart Relief” is a mobile app for parental control of Android smartphones. South Korea’s government funded the app, which alerts parents to possible bullying based on its monitoring of phrases and words…

    Such apps are criticized in South Korea as an invasion of privacy but their use is burgeoning, particularly after the country’s telecoms regulator ordered monitoring applications be installed on the smartphones of Koreans aged 18 and below. Smart Relief is not one of the 15 apps authorized for use in that program but shares similar features with them.

    The app monitors about 800 words and phrases in messages including:

    Threat, kill, shut up, violence, destroy, handicap, crazy, prostitute, garbage, thief, porn, suicide, pregnancy, inn, obscene, sex, sexual crime, sexual relationship, prostitution, motel, beer, rape, adultery, run away from home, outcast.

    It monitors about 300 words and phrases in online searches including:

    Girl I like, boy I like, dating, boyfriend, girlfriend, breakup, invisible person, don’t have friends, jealousy, lonely, stress, don’t want to live, loser, complaint, help, worry, breast, plastic surgery, appearance, fat, french kiss, porn, menstruation, adoption, divorce, rape, homosexual love, single parent, IS, terrorism, poison.

    1. On a related note:

      Mobile Spy Software Maker mSpy Hacked, Customer Data Leaked

      mSpy, the makers of a dubious software-as-a-service product that claims to help more than two million people spy on the mobile devices of their kids and partners, appears to have been massively hacked. Last week, a huge trove of data apparently stolen from the company’s servers was posted on the Deep Web, exposing countless emails, text messages, payment and location data on an undetermined number of mSpy “users.”

      The Tor-based site hosts several hundred gigabytes worth of data taken from mobile devices running mSpy’s products, including some four million events logged by the software. The message left by the unknown hackers who’ve claimed responsibility for this intrusion suggests that the data dump includes information on more than 400,000 users, including Apple IDs and passwords, tracking data, and payment details on some 145,000 successful transactions.

      The exact number of mSpy users compromised could not be confirmed, but one thing is clear: There is a crazy amount of personal and sensitive data in this cache, including photos, calendar data, corporate email threads, and very private conversations. Also included in the data dump are thousands of support request emails…

    1. Has anyone seen jesse.in.mb lately?

      1. He was in the Mourning Lynx thread this morning.

        1. They have wi-fi at the jail.

          1. I’ll pony up for his bail.

    2. His mother, who was in the passenger side of the vehicle during the pursuit, was not injured in the collision.

      So, yes — apparently one of them.

    3. “adding that the man was not found to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol at the time.”

      That rules all of us out.

    4. I actually watched it live on TV last night. At least 20 minutes of swimming.

      1. Not smart. Redondo Beach Police have a boat. Anywhere else, the cops might have given up.

    5. I know I’ve been absent from the comments lately, but it wasn’t me

      *hides smartphone in butt cheeks before guard walks by cell*

      1. Urban dictionary entry of the day:
        Keester Stash

        1. Anagram of the Urban Dictionary entry of the day:
          Kesha Testers

          1. You first

  22. Let’s play What Happened to Groovus:

    1. Taken hostage by an Estonian supermodel, being slowly devoured alive, with a huge smile on his face.

    2. Happily married, with his third kid on the way, blissfully running an unfettered cash-only medical practice in Northern Europe.

    3. After supermodel wife was killed by pirates while on their Indian Ocean honeymoon cruise, became a freelance bounty hunter, terrorizing any pirate boat he comes across.

    4. Hallucinated the above, and is currently terrorizing a paddleboat rental business outside the Wisconsin Dells.

    5. Sugarfree got tired of changing handles

    1. 4. Just because I might run into him at a bachelor party next month.

      1. During high school and college summers home, I probably spent over 200 hours in the Dells. Of which, I only remember about 10 of them.

        1. I have not been back since I was a kid. Looking forward to not remembering the weekend.

          And I’m going to Vegas two weeks earlier. So June is basically a wash.

          1. A the Wisconsin Dells…. I also have not been since I was 5.

    2. He had time for three kids since he’s left for Europe? They must have been chugging them out pretty rapidly, a la Irish twins.
      There was a post by someone who was clearly an ER physician under the name of something like “Eastern Europe Doc” at the ‘everyone’s-done-posting time’ in a thread not long ago. I wondered if it might be him trying to participate without calling attention to himself.
      Any reason why he’s never on anymore? Wife made him give up something, and he chose HnR rather than relinquishing substance abuse or sex?

      1. He wasn’t married yet.

        He posted about going to meet the woman’s father and then didn’t post again.

        IIRC, sloopy got one email out of him later.

    3. Only Sugarfree knows for sure.

    4. I always just assumed Warty removed wifi from the basement rape dungeon.

  23. Illinois House Democrats Vote Down “Right-to-Work” Measure

    Thursday’s vote was 0-72-37. The Democrats who control the House cast “no” votes. The entire Republican caucus, with the exception of one member, voted present because they said the vote was a “political sham.”

    In other news, water is still wet.

    1. Time for some large corporations to threaten to leave the state unless a right-to-work law is passed!

      What? It worked in the next state over!

    1. You’re not taking sexual harassment and abuse of power seriously if your solutions focus on depriving victims and potential victims of job opportunities. These women are willing to run the risk that some gross older man will get grabby with them in order to advance their career; their bosses should meet them halfway by running the risk of “impropriety.”

      sigh

      I have not bothered to read this most-likely-retarded sidebar link yet: The guy behind the Stanford prison experiment claims video games and porn are destroying men.

      1. Surprise update: the article is not retarded.

        1. The article is not retarded, but the Stanford prison experiment guy appears to be. He actually trots out that canard about porn ‘rewiring’ peoples’ brains.

          Also:

          “The book asserts that young men are suffering from “a growing feeling of penis envy” contracted from watching too much porn. “This can be seen in public locker rooms,” the authors write, “where many young men refuse to disrobe, undressing in the showers and covering themselves when they come out.””

          If you don’t want to show your dick to random men in a public locker room, it’s because of penis envy brought about by porn. Zimbardo has spoken.

          1. I would guess it is more likely because mommy made you cover up every time you wanted to run around naked as a young child.

      2. Zimbardo, the guy who draws a conclusion and then designs “experiments” to support it? Yeah, that’s a credible source. We should totally ban video games and porn now.

        1. Actually, I’m surprised he didn’t drop psychology and become a climate scientist. Maybe too old to get in on that racket by the time it ratcheted up.

    2. Those staffers should be happy to sacrifice to end the rape culture.

      1. Ya know, I think I understand where these SJW warriors get their delusions that the world is one big patriarchal rape parade.

        There is a huge preponderance of Social Activists aka Political Scientists in the SJW crowd, and if I ever spent a large amount of my time in that world, I would absolutely assume that every man in the world is a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The political class is essentially a bunch of power worshiping narcissists, and I have no doubt that a huge number of them exercise that personally on the sexual target of their choice.

        The story above is merely a reflection of that horrid culture.

    3. This is the easier alternative to having cameras and microphones installed in the office.

    4. I recall reading a few months ago about a female programmer who said that most female programmers get shut out of hackathons because male programmers don’t want to deal with the possibility of sexual harassment.

  24. This morning at breakfast, I picked up a copy of the paper featuring a screed from that hyperventilating nitwit Leonard Pitts. It was all about how those crazy Republicans hate the government, because they’re crazy.
    It’s amazing how liberals can retain such obstinate, childish faith in the government, no matter how much evidence of incompetence or malfeasance they might be presented with. I wonder what Pitts would say about the border guards who tased the uppity college chick. “Just following orders,” I suppose.

    1. Leonard Pitts is the worst, with sort of an Al Sharpton take on everything he writes about, and apparently believes nothing in the world ever happens for any reason besides racism. He’s also a terrible writer in general. His biggest irony is that he won a Pulitzer prize for all his commentary about racism, yet given his lack of talent and inability to argue anything except straw man points, he likely wouldn’t even have a column if he wasn’t black.

  25. the assistant principal told her, “You have more boobs than other girls.

    It’s not nice to discriminate against the poor thing. She` can’t help it if she has three (or more) boobs.

    1. +3 Total Recall

  26. This Antarctic ice shelf could collapse by 2020, NASA says

    Nonetheless, the rate of global sea-level rise ? recently pegged at 2.6 to 2.9 millimeters annually ? could increase because of what’s now unfolding on the Antarctic peninsula at both the Larsen B and C ice shelves.

    1. And I could be dating Olivia Wild by 2020. Anything is possible

      1. I don’t think that’s possible at all. Not with Sarcasmic alive, it’s not.

        Well, unless you can set him up with Bella Thorne first, then he might let you… might…

    2. Is there any particular concern about this development, other than the penchant of climate scientists for absolute stasis in all things, always?

      1. Something about ocean levels rising.

        1. But an ice shelf is already part of the ocean. It’s displacing just as much water as it would when it melts.

          1. Not true. Part of the shelf is suspended, with part of its mass borne by the land.

            Additionally, the big concern is that when the shelf collapses, it allows much of the ice that is on the land to escape to the sea.

            (Still a bullshit concern though).

            1. Good point.

            2. “Not true. Part of the shelf is suspended, with part of its mass borne by the land.”

              Suspended?

              Are you sure it isn’t being held under water by mass borne by the land?

              While we are making shit up i am going to say con trails are killing the unicorn which keep the continents from springing back into Pangea.

    3. Betelgeuse could supernova any day now.

      I sort of hope it does collapse. It would be interesting to be around when it happened and give people better things to worry about than CO2 emissions. Or it could be horrible. What do I know?

      1. Then we have nothing to worry about for at least 640 years.

  27. Frankenstein’s National Anthem – which countries contributed parts of their anthems to build this monstrosity?

    Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
    And this be our motto: “In God is our trust.”

    For your arm knows how to bear the sword
    It knows how to bear the cross!

    O lord God arise,
    Scatter our enemies,
    And make them fall!

    Eternal Father, bless our land,
    Guard us with Thy mighty hand,
    Keep us free from evil powers,
    Be our light through countless hours.

  28. Blues legend B.B. King is dead at the age of 89.

    At least Lou Reed’s still alive…

    1. But I haven’t heard from Francisco Franco lately.

  29. “Blues legend B.B. King is dead ‘

    (pours bottle of gravy on the ground)

  30. Speaking of old earworms.

    Now look at what y’all have me watching. I’d forgotten that thigh guitar never stops being funny.

    1. Which episode was that at the end of again? Was it the all-girl musical fanfic one?

      I’m usually pretty stoned by the time I watch Supernatural so I tend to lose track.

      1. It’s an outtake from “Yellow Fever” but I don’t recall which episode they aired it after. I’m not hardcore enough. Not the all-girl fanfic one though, I’m pretty sure it’s older than that. I’m thinking… season six somewhere? Maybe?

        1. It’s that old (it is, I just confirmed it on their wiki)? Holy shit I really am very stoned when I watch Supernatural, I guess. I could have sworn it was from, like, last season.

          1. I think last season was the Metatron Big Bad.

            You reminded me that I need to clean my pipe, and I’m sitting here practically pulling hash out of this thing. Marathon catching-up with the new season coming on in three… two…

  31. So there actually IS a worse Republican prez candidate than Santorum or Bush.

    Behold the Horror

    1. Ye gods. It’s like a literal libertarian horror movie.

      1. I wish I lived in Chicago, because voting against him only once won’t give me the satisfaction I crave.

        1. I wish we could wield both a for and against vote in each election.

          1. Stay home, cancel out both your votes.

    1. That’s funny, he’s not Jesus, an IDF girl, or a really rich guy.

  32. Can somebody watch this for me and tell me if I’m going to break my monitor?

    http://www.tubefilter.com/2015…..e-mad-max/

    It’s got Bill Nye and Neil deGrasse Tyson. I’m already angry going in.

    1. Can somebody watch this for me

      No. As an actual scientist, I am aware that this could cause me brain damage.

    1. fucking hell.

      for a second i imagined they were referring to the dead people as “cancelled passengers”

      1. I must say that given the nature of the accident, I was suprised by how few fatalities there were.

        1. Yeah, there was that crash in Spain a few years ago that I think killed a few hundred people. Seems like this was a pretty similar accident. Though the Spanish one was going even faster if I recall correctly. But it was the same thing where the engineer fucked up and went too fast around a bend.

          1. The latest news is that the train suddenly accelerated right before the turn, which has some suggesting there may have been some mechanical fault in the train.

            1. I haven’t been paying close attention, so I could be wrong. But how long does it take a train to accelerate from 50 to 100?

              1. 65 seconds before the accident, it was going 70, which was below the speed limit for that part of the track, and sped up to 106 rather than slowing to 50.

                The conductor guy was talking on the radio, so he was awake and aware at least.

                It’s also possible some object hit the train shortly before the accident:

                http://www.reuters.com/article…..8Z20150515

                1. Interesting. Seems like I may have assumed too much.

                  1. Operator error (or an intentional crash) remain possibilities as well.

                  2. Here’s a photo of the train:

                    http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05……html?_r=0

                    You can see damage from the accident on the left side of the windshielf, but also on the right side is a circular impact that seems unrelated to to the crash.

                    Two other trains in the same area were also hit by objects in the 30 minute period right before the derailment.

            2. On NPR this morning, they reported that the speed limiting equipment was installed on this section of track but disabled until testing.

          2. “Zeb|2015/05/15 19:14:40|#5303332

            Yeah, there was that crash in Spain a few years ago that I think killed a few hundred people.”

            There was a train crash in 2013 where 80 people died

            i think you might be confusing that with the spanish train bombings where ~200 died, and thousands were wounded

  33. The prime minister of Luxembourg, Xavier Bettel, is the first European Union leader to get gay-married.

    The Roman dictator Sulla beat him by two thousand years.

  34. Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far the best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6474 this – 4 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $77 per hour. I work through this link,
    go to tech tab for work detail ????????????? http://www.jobsfish.com

  35. Honduras, one of the poorest countries in the Americas, has agreed to use a Texas-based company to build a permanent and secure land title record system using the underlying technology behind bitcoin, a company official said late Thursday.
    Factom, a U.S. blockchain technology company based in Austin, Texas, will provide the service to the government of Honduras, the firm’s president, Peter Kirby, said.

    The Future! is coming on is coming on…

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