Amtrak Derail Death Toll Stands at 8, Conflict of Interest for George Stephanopoulos, That's So Racist? (It's a Pun, You'll Get It) P.M. Links

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  1. Meanwhile, attorneys for the train’s engineer says he has no recollection of the crash.

    Then let’s go to the video tape!

    1. Hello.

      “George Stephanopoulos of ABC News gave at least $50,000 to the Clinton Foundation”

      He clearly gets paid too much.

    2. Uh, there are no videotapes. Know why? NO FUNDING.

      1. Which is why he had his own GoPro, obviously.

        1. Nothing like bodies flying around set to some good dubstep.

          Too soon?

          1. Nah. Lemme see if there’s any identifying info on that video. If not, I’ll post it.

            (I made a baby dubstep video where I chuck my kid most of the way to a 15 foot ceiling…)

            1. Playa that ain’t a kid. It is a small yappy dog.

              It isn’t our fault that you pulled that dog into the pit with you and now that you can’t throw him all 15 ft to the top of the abandoned well in Warty’s basement.

              Take you punishment from Warty like a man and stop trying to pass it off as something else.

    3. Yeah, his only “recollection” is of waking up with an awful hangover.

      /note to his attorney: that’s just a joke!

    4. “…has no recollection of the crash.”

      That may be due to his being a union member. They are not very bright, and cause trouble like this everywhere they go.

      1. No controlling legal authority!

    5. After reading about the engr. in the NYT story, I’m taking a few guesses, no particular order:

      1. Asleep.

      2. Epilepsy. But that could be hard to establish now, since he took a good hit on the head. If he has seizures, they may be from the accident, not a cause of it.

      3. Martyr by proxy. Sometimes fanatics who feel they don’t get enough att’n in pointing to safety deficiencies cause an “accident” to “show them”. A security guard at NYMC who got no respect when he tried to tell them they didn’t have enough fire precautions torched the place.

      4. Sabotage by someone else.

      5. Mechanical defect.

      6. Electronic defect.

      7. Maintenance error.

      8. Squirrels.

      9. Moose.

      1. You forgot

        1a) Drunk or otherwise fucked up.

      2. If you click through the article to the graphics, you’ll see that there’s a straightaway before that curve and another straightaway afterwards where trains sped up to 100 mph.

        I’m beginning to think the engineer through he was 1 curve ahead of where he was.

  2. Raven-Symone of “That’s So Raven” would rather have Rosa Parks on the $20 than Harriet Tubman.

    Our money should only display great presidents, like Washington, Lincoln and Franklin.

    1. And Hamilton.

      1. Thanks!

        1. I, for one, consider you the better man by far.

          Whatever wrongs you have committed or will commit cannot possibly equal the earlier man’s wrongs unless you spend a significant part of the rest of your life trying to outdo him.

    2. You’re so dumb, Fist.

      Washington is a CITY.

      1. Washington is a racist football team

      2. So is Lincoln and Franklin.

        1. It’s cities all the way down.

    3. It should show all the Presidents. They can have a party.

      1. With Jimmy Carter passed out on the couch?

      2. a frat party?

        1. I hope my leg gets grabbed!

      3. They got a $2 that looks like that.

    4. I see what you did there, Fist. Well-played.

    5. Ben Franklin also played basketball, a sport invented in America.

      1. BY A CANADIAN.

        1. Quiet, you, and just keep sending hockey players to the NHL and Rush to our arenas every 3-4 years.

          1. Don’t forget to send Alanis, too!

        2. From my mom’s hometown of Almonte!

    6. $1 – Washington
      $5 – Jefferson
      $10 – Adams
      $20 – Madison
      $50 – Hamilton
      $100 – Lafayette

      1. Ok, maybe not Lafayette…

        $1 – Washington
        $5 – Jefferson
        $10 – Adams
        $20 – Madison
        $50 – Hamilton
        $100 – Franklin

        1. Aw come on, Lafayette and Kosciuszko deserve to at least share a bill!

          Also, no doubling up – if you are on a coin, you don’t get a bill as well!

          1. Maybe instead of Hamilton on the $50 we should have Yogi Berra, with his witticisms on the back.

            1. “Fifty dollars ain’t what it used to be. But you can still get two twenties and a ten for it.” – Yogi Barra didn’t say this

          2. “Kosciuszko”

            Gesundheit!

            (Yes, I know who he was)

            1. I don’t, and my Google machine is broken.

              1. Polish revolutionary who fought in the American Revolution as well, and has, among other things, fortified West Point, and suggested that Continental Army should fortify at Saratoga to counter the Brits.

                1. Gesundheit did that? I thought he built a br. between B’klyn & Queens.

        2. $1,000,000 – Dual image of Nixon and Obama on the front. Picture of the exploding
          Challenger Space Shuttle on the back.

          1. Which bill has Krugman on it?

            1. He’s not on a bill, he’s on a coin, remember?

            2. $1,000,000,000,000?

            3. Krugman is on the Krugernaut, a coin made out of the same material as black holes. All knowledge is sucked from whoever carries it, and banal platitudes shoot out instead.

              1. They haven’t minted one yet, Almanian, but I heard that the event is on the horizon.

        3. $50 – Burr/Hamilton. Burr *won*, sooo.. there’s that.

        4. Don’t forget the Nixon $3.

      2. You’re forgetting the $2 note. Do they still make those?

        1. When Dad cleaned out the safety deposit box after Mom died before they could seal it until the will was probated, he found that Mom had left each of us something she must have put in the box in the early 80s: Four $2 bills, a New York State bicentennial commemorative coin, and a $50 savings bond.

          With those $2 bills, I can make it rain at the strip club. OK, maybe I can only make it sprinkle.

        2. They do as necessary. I think they get a lot of use at race tracks.

          1. When I toured Monticello in ’04, the staff handed out $2 bills as change whenever possible.

        3. I forgot it on purpose – it shouldn’t exist.

          1. I like to use them sometimes just to confuse people. A lot of people think they are either rare or fake.

            1. Passive aggressive terrorism….love it.

            2. I usually tip with them.

    7. I liked the original idea about US money – no actual people should be displayed.

      1. $1 – Bald Eagle
        $5 – Wild Turkey
        $10 – Mountain Lion
        $20 – Bobcat
        $50 – Moose
        $100 – Elk

        1. $1 PBR
          $5 Jim Beam
          $10 Wild Turkey
          $20 Maker’s Mark
          $50 Four Roses
          $100 Bartles and Jaymes

          1. $1 Kentucky Rifle
            $2 M16
            $5 M14
            $10 Colt SAA
            $50 M1 Garand
            $100 M1911A1

            1. Or substitute the M1A1 Thompson SMG somewhere.

            2. Sir, I like the cut of your jib. Do you perchance have a newsletter to which I could subscribe?

            3. $1 Boston Tea Party
              $5 flag over Baltimore Harbor
              $10 Gettysburg Address
              $20 raising the flag on Iwo Jima
              $50 Apollo 11 liftoff
              $100 Reagan at Brandenburg Gate

              1. ^Winner

              2. $1 – A government pencil
                $5 – A government mechanical pencil (the cheap, disposable time)
                $10 – A government pen
                $20 – A government sticky note pad
                $50 – A government notebook
                $100 – A government hammer

                (Sorry for the redundancy, it turns out that the only goods that the government can afford to buy with single bills are stationery)

        2. No beaver?

          1. LOL. No, too Canadian.

            1. No such thing. Also, they’re called “peeler joints” up here, not strip clubs.

          2. But the Virginia Opossum would be appropriate since it is a uniquely North American species.

    8. Our money shouldn’t have any presidents. Who decided that was a good idea?

      I say go back to Liberty and generic Indian heads. Fuck national heroes as a concept and a class. It’s the ideas of the great presidents that are important, not the persons.

      1. Our money shouldn’t have any presidents. Who decided that was a good idea?

        A president? Or some toady, anyway. Like a Buttplug.

      2. It’s also pretty ironic that Jackson is on a banknote issued by the Federal Reserve.

        1. Barbarian kings liked to make drinking cups out of the skulls of their enemies. This is similar.

          1. That’s what I concluded. It was meant as an everlasting insult.

          2. I would wholly support such imagery on any national currency.

    9. Franklin was the best president ever. He accomplished so much in his 4 terms…

      1. And he did some pimpin’ that would’ve made Slick Willy blush…

  3. “Would you have invaded Iraq?” is a very good question for members of the media to ask Republican presidential candidates.

    Hillary’s already given her answer.

    1. Does she get to change her mind?

      1. “Evolve”

    2. What difference, at this point, does it make?

    3. Actually, the real question should be:

      “Would you invade Iran?”

      Because it’s going to happen. We will have Team Red controlling both houses of congress and the presidency, and it will be “Bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, Iran” time.

      Unless Iran gets WMDs.

  4. …something he should have disclosed before interviewing a critic of the Clinton Foundation.

    Yeah, who would have guessed Stephanopoulos might still be covered in Clinton slime?

  5. George Stephanopoulos of ABC News gave at least $50,000 to the Clinton Foundation?something he should have disclosed before interviewing a critic of the Clinton Foundation.

    Jesus, you Gamergate types are just insufferable! Look at this total bullshit, you don’t care about anything other than harming Hilary because she’s a woman! Misogynist juveniles, all of you!

    (do I even need to add /sarc?)

    (Yes. Yes, I do, because it’s the Internet)

    1. Careful. You’ll summon you know who.

      1. There are so many now.

        1. +1 more troll

      2. Betelgeuse?

        1. If you say that word three times while looking through a telescope, you’ll cause a supernova.

      3. Sarcasmic?

        1. Worse.

            1. Oh no, not *that* bad. When the fun is sucked right out of these PM links, you’ll know that it’s here.

            2. Not that bad.

      4. No, I don’t know whom.

        1. Thank you for your valuable contribution, Ted S. Your cookie is in the mail.

          1. My contributions aren’t valuable; they’re invaluable.

            1. “He’s so famous he’s infamous”

            2. *In*flammable means flammable?!

              RIP good Simpsons episodes.

    2. Wait, are you saying we cannot be misogynist juveniles anymore? It is all I have left! Well, that and the liverwurst sandwich.

      1. [steals Crusty Juggler’s liverwurst sandwich]

    3. Warty?

  6. “Diversity means more to millennials than just skin color”

    As a self-proclaimed white-Hispanic millennial, I can say that the type of beer you drink means the most to me.

    1. Yuengling Traditional Lager, because it seems the whitest.

      1. As if I needed another reason to keep you in my Killbook.

        1. I HAVE A RENAL DEFICIENCY I SHOULDN’T BE DRINKING ALCOHOL AT ALL.

          1. Well that’s what you get for believing your schmuck doctor.

            1. Never trust a jew

              1. You know who else said never trust a jew?

                1. *narrows gaze – Switzy style*

                  One. Fucking. Minute.

                2. A self-hating Jew?

              2. You know who else…oh, fuck it. HITLER.

                1. HITLER.

                  Who’s he?

                  /ducks and scurries furtively from room…..

      2. If you want the whitest, don’t you need to go for that Belgian crap with the orange slice hanging from the glass

          1. “Does it have pink elephants on the label?”

            Yes. Yes it does. And it’s one of the best freakin’ beers on the planet.

        1. You mean, Blue Moon?

          *eye twitches in rage*

          1. I mean Weissbier!

            1. That’s GERMAN. Witbier is the Belgian swill you’re thinking of.

              1. It should be Wei?bier, anyhow.

                No, I don’t want to hear from those Swiss freaks.

              2. You’ve outclassed me. But I did do a double take looking at that Weissbeer, it looked tastier than the stuff I was thinking of.

          2. That stuff has so much yeast in it it’s like drinking a loaf of bread.

        2. Hoegaarden is a wonderful product. Skip the orange, though.

          1. There is no wit as good as mine.

            And fuck all you pansies: berlinerweisse and geuze FTW.

            1. Bitte ein Bit!

      3. Ahhhh the beer of my childhood. T’will always have a place in my heart and fridge.

        1. Yuengling will always have a place in my heart, but not always in my fridge. It feels wrong buying it in Massachusetts, so I only have it around after a road trip to PA.

          1. Yuengling had a special place in my heart in DC last summer. Mostly because it was $3 during happy hour.

            1. It is a decent and cheap beer.

              1. It is, but a 24 pack of Rolling Rock really went the extra mile when I was extra poor.

                I only drink 8% or above IPAs now to atone for those sins.

                1. There is no sin or shame in drinking Rolling Rock.

                  Piel’s, on the other hand…

                  1. Yueling holds a special place in my, and every other Yinzer’s, gullet.

                    1. I thought that was Iron City?

    2. Some of us are freaks who don’t like carbonated beverages.

      1. Weirdo

      2. If by ‘freak’ you mean people who drink real liquor, then yeah, some of us are.

        1. I don’t drink soda/cola either.

          I might sip champagne at a wedding, but that’s about it.

          1. You’re disinvited from all future weddings. Go ahead, mark it on your calendar.

      3. Bourbon is non-carbonated, meaning it is a health drink.

    3. I’ve not jumped in a beer discussion yet, but I have to ask-does anyone *here* have McEwans Scotch Ale in their neck of the woods?

      They stopped importing it several years ago, but supposedly started back up about a year or so ago.

      Can’t find it in Texas, dammit, and I need some help.

      1. OK, TP, we used to get it here in Virginia, but I honestly haven’t looked for it in years since you can get more reliably fresher local Scotch Ales. Is this a McE fetish or are you just looking for a good scotch ale?

        1. McE is the one for me. Love it, and haven’t had it in a while. Based on others I’ve had, I’ll just stick with it once I can find it again.

    4. How’s that old joke go?

      “How are American beer and making love in a canoe similar? They’re both fucking close to water.”

  7. Diversity means more to millennials than just skin color, which vexes The Atlantic‘s ironically named Gillian B. White.

    Race baiters losing lock on a whole generation? That’s gonna sting.

    1. Gender baiting is the new race baiting.

      Don’t worry. There will always be something divisive that the baiters will find.

      1. How about masters?

      2. “Go away, I’m baitin’!”

      3. Go away. ‘Bating.

  8. More on the engineer, who was inspired by “a passion for trains.”

    You know who else had a passion for trains?

      1. Who?

        1. John Hitler, my butcher. Sells a great cut of brisket.

        2. First base.

    1. With Major Lawrence, trains are a passion. With me, it is merely good manners. You may judge which motive is the more reliable.

        1. Mercy. Right. Major Lawrence blew up trains.

    2. The Union supply line?

    3. James J Hill?

    4. The Conductor from Thomas the Tank Engine?

      1. Don’t you mean Sir Topham Hat?

        1. US-UK expat with young boy trivia fact. The Thomas the Tank Engine movies are narrated by Alec Baldwin in the US, and by Ringo Starr in the UK.

          But we mostly watch Octonauts, and Top Gear.

          1. But when Thomas first was aired in the US, it was narrated by George Carlin.

            1. When my son watched those shows I did get a chuckle from the thought of George Carlin doing the narrations.

          2. My son is on a huge Octonaut kick right now. He keeps shouting “Let’s do this!” before he does anything.

    5. Municipal democrats?

    6. The correct answer is Ron Jeremy.

      1. He knows that one trick.

    7. Benito Mussolini?

      1. I thought he just lied about having a passion for trains.

    8. Washed up Brazilian soccer star Ronaldo?

      *re-reads*

      Oh, TRAINS!

    9. Most folk singers of the early 20th century?

      1. Sabrina Johnson?

    10. Moltke?

      1. *click heels, golf clap*

      1. Superb. I was thinking more of this Saxon song,,,,

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1-5LsqNgIU

        1. I listened out loud.

    11. Dagny Taggart?

    12. Lisa Sparxxx?

      1. I do not understand this reference. Do not.
        But laughed.

        1. World’s largest gangbang record holder.

        2. According to her Wikipedia page:

          She achieved world gangbang record with 919 men on October 16, 2004 in Warsaw, Poland as part of the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship and Eroticon 2004

          1. Cripes, wouldn’t she be bleeding after the first few hundred?

            1. It was Poland. Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway…

              1. Christ were the non receiving participants wearing waders?

            2. One assumes that few to none of the 919 men actually ejaculated. I imagine that it was in-out-next, ie a staged and technical event for the record books.

              1. There is video of the event online. I’m not going to watch the whole thing, because what I saw was very unerotic, but some guys seemed to be making a real effort. And the video must be just a portion, because it was only about 45 minutes, but the record was set over 24 hours. Clearly they missed a trick by not taping all 24 hours, editing it down to maybe two seconds per guy, and adding a count. And to think she has a degree in multimedia….

          2. An Annual Gangbang Championship?

            How come Reason never covered this? They could have celebrated it as a defiant gesture against the oppressive blah blah blah.

            1. Because it would cause no-shit civil war among the staff to see who gets to cover it.

            2. So much butt-hurt that others are having fun. Perhaps driven by bitterness that you can’t have that kind of fun as an obediant catholic, right Eddie?

              1. Tonio, that’s why Reason can’t have good gangbangs…you keep dragging religion into it!

    13. Alfred Hitchcock?

    14. The Duke Lacrosse team?

      That UVA Fraterity?

      Or Rolling Stone Magazine.

    15. Sasha Gray?

    16. Mussolini?

        1. I would’ve posted it earlier, but my train was late.

    17. Nick Kristof?

  9. The former undersheriff of LA County got indicted today. That’s sort of an anti-nut punch.

    Like wiseman Zeb said though, you can’t unpunch nuts. I suppose you could punch them less, though.

    1. http://www.latimes.com/local/l…..fit&page=1

      Sounds like he’s in deep shit.

    2. But indictment is not conviction, and we’ve all seen prosecutors deliberately throw those cases before.

      1. This might turn out differently. He fucked with the feds, and they’re PISSED. They has like 20 people on stage for that press conference.

        1. Didn’t RTFA, obviously. Yeah, fucking with the feds is a whole other matter.

          1. That’s the crime. All of those prisoners that they tortured is secondary.

    3. Isn’t that Unterscheriff?

  10. The Patriots’ rebuttal pretty effectively establishes that there’s no proof that the Patriots’ balls were even deflated.

    Proving me to be right yet again.

    Naturally that’s what we all expected but it’s nice to see it play out anyway.

    1. I haven’t been following this. Are you by any chance a Patriots fan?

      1. I consider myself a big fan of the ideal gas law.

        I’ve got a Google Alert on it. The last few months have been really exciting.

        1. I had bison chili and dark beer for lunch. Different ideal gas law, though.

          1. Neither of you is the ideal gasbag, however.

          2. I had bison chili and dark beer for lunch.

            Made me think of this.

            http://www.newsminer.com/featu…..be1eb.html

        2. There’s nothing ideal about 99.9% of atmospheric gases. Although to 0.1psig, its probably good enough

        3. “I’ve got a Google Alert on it. The last few months have been really exciting.”

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qaTRBipzxtc

          1. That was exactly the reference. Thx

          2. Data never did master human emotions…

  11. More on the engineer, who was inspired by “a passion for trains.”

    That doesn’t mean he was distracted jerking off, does it?

  12. George Stephanopoulos of ABC News gave at least $50,000 to the Clinton Foundation?something he should have disclosed before interviewing a critic of the Clinton Foundation.

    Why? Seriously, who cares?

    Either he flubbed the interview or he didn’t. Either he lobbed softball questions or he didn’t.

    So what if he gave money, or thought about giving money, or wished that he had money to give, or promised to give money but spent it all on hookers?!?!?

    Would the same set of questions be OK if he hadn’t given the money?

    1. He should have disclosed it. That’s just professionalism.

    2. The issue is that Stephanopoulos has been continuously defending the Clinton Foundation, not only in that interview, but elsewhere. It is absolutely relevant to know that the person defending the Clinton Foundation actually has ties to the foundation.

      1. Not to mention that he was in the Clinton inner circle in the 90s but now the MSM pretends he’s a hard hitting political journalist.

      2. So what?!?

        Seriously! Is he asking us to take his word on something?!?

        All he does is ask questions and listen to answers and express opinions. There literally is no credibility to sacrifice here!

        1. Is he asking us to take his word on something?!?

          Yes: his impartiality.

          There literally is no credibility to sacrifice here!

          Not anymore.

        2. Are you seriously arguing that if a journalist has a connection to an organization he’s reporting on it doesn’t matter if he never discloses it? Don’t you think that his connections to the foundation impacted what questions he asked and what editorial stance he took?

          Surely the viewer should know about the reporter’s connection to the people he’s covering.

          1. Don’t you think that his connections to the foundation impacted what questions he asked and what editorial stance he took?

            OF COURSE THEY DID BUT SO FUCKING WHAT?!?!

            He asked a bunch of questions. You can watch the inteview he did, and judge for yourself whether they were good questions, stupid questions, softball questions or penetrating questions.

            You can judge how he responded to the answers.

            You can decide, “Boy that was a stupid interview”, or you can say “that was informative!”

            He is going to have biases. His biases would be the same if he had given money or hadn’t!!!!

            His work should be judged based on the actual work product, not based on things that are at best tangentially related.

            1. Has it occurred to you that there might be questions he DIDN’T ask?

              1. Yeah, that is a stupid take. No, you can’t judge if they were good questions or stupid questions. Because “you” don’t know the first thing about the Clinton foundation. This is true for very large values of “you”.

                You trust that a reporter working on a story is at least trying to do a good job of covering the story. You wouldn’t put James Carville in the role of lead reporter on Hillary Clinton’s campaign finances. Neither should you put a stealth version of Carville in that role.

                Now, the idea that anyone ever accepted Stephanopoulos as a serious journalist is another matter….

    3. No, but the fact that he had given money should have resulted in him recusing himself, or his editor (does he even have one) pulling him from the story in the first place. With disclosure to whatever viewers he might have as to why he’s not covering it.

  13. So I hear bond markets are getting funky. What’s Reason’s take?

    1. I’m up today. You’re gonna have to be more specific.

      1. What’s behind this? What does it portend? What should people do? TELL ME WHAT TO THINK

    2. My take is about -3%.

      1. Oh you!

    3. It’s from rumours that the USA will soon lift the ban on haggis

      1. So I can finally go to Cuba?!?

        1. You can go to Cuba anytime you want.

          Just fill out the handy application form at the following link:

          http://www.alqueadainamerca.fbi.gov and friendly government agent will be by to spirit you off for a relaxing all-inclusive vacation with spa treatments and everything.

  14. “Raven-Symone of “That’s So Raven” would rather have Rosa Parks on the $20 than Harriet Tubman.”

    Well, I’m glad to know her opinion on the matter. I try to consult former members of the Cosby Show before all of my decisions. For example, I voted for Barack Obama because Malcolm Jamal-Warner told me to and I spent 7 years in prison for rape after a brief discussion with Bill Cosby.

    1. I spent six hours passed out with no memory after a brief discussion with Bill Cosby.

      Boy, does my ass hurt.

      1. “Don’t let someone put you in a sleeper hold because the next day your anus will really hurt.”

    2. Apparently, she thinks Rosa Parks is more hip and modern than Harriet Tubman.

      But I say, Harriet Tubman has the awesome factor. “Oh, you got fined for disobeying a segregation law? How nice! I went South numerous times, risking my life each time, to free slaves. But what you did is cool, too, I guess.”

      1. Ms. Parks could not have accomplished the same things Ms. Tubman did, Parks having been born fifty years after the end of slavery. That’s some spectacular idiocy there, Eddie.

        1. Now, Tonio, you may think *you’re* the one stalking *me,* but right now I’m gazing at you through my binoculars.

          At least I think it’s you…do you have large breasts are are you undressing before taking a shower?

        2. Ms. Parks could not have accomplished the same things Ms. Tubman did

          Which is why, of course, they do not compare.

  15. Honduras Presses Ahead for ZEDE Liftoff in June

    http://panampost.com/belen-mar…..f-in-june/

  16. George Stephanopoulos of ABC News gave at least $50,000 $75,000 to the Clinton Foundation

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..r-air.html

    1. Better than stealing it, I suppose.

      Too soon?

    2. You know who else wanted Germans to have more gold?

        1. Shockingly, there is no single YouTube clip of the entire Ring cycle. I wonder what the time limit is for YouTube, I guess it’s under 20 hours.

          1. I just like the existance of an opera that forces people to build singing mechanical dragons.

      1. Alaric the Vandal?

    3. Inflation fears in Germany?! Phtt!

  17. Raven-Symone of “That’s So Raven” would rather have Rosa Parks on the $20 than Harriet Tubman.

    Ayn Rand or GTFO.

    1. We should do like Canada and put a finch on it.

      1. No way, dude. The masses have spoken, and they want a pair of tits.

    2. She’s already on the Liberland 20 Bitcoin promissory note.

    3. Only if we use gold coins.

    4. Putting Rand on a fiat currency note would be an insult to her.

      You may as well put her on a state monopoly postal service sta…

      Oh wait.

    5. You may have had a chance when Greenspan was in charge, but now?

    6. Can we have FDR on the $35 bill?

      1. FDR on the 70,000 yen note

  18. “Raven-Symone of “That’s So Raven” would rather have Rosa Parks on the $20 than Harriet Tubman.”

    Rosa Parks was a pre-planned plant.

    Harriet Tubman was the real deal.

    1. Yeah, Tubman faced a lot more danger, for a lot longer.

      I doubt Parks ever had bounties placed on her head.

      1. See my comment, above, to Eddie on Parks versus Tubman.

        1. This nitwit suggested that Parks should be chosen over Tubman PRECISELY BECAUSE of the timing, ie, “more current” (paraphrasing, don’t feel like watching her again)

  19. Amtrak liability limited.

    Victims could end up with about half of what they would get if there wasn’t a cap, according to Marc Wietzke, a Long Island attorney who specializes in representing victims of train crashes.

    “It’s very much like bankruptcy. Everyone comes in with a valid claim, but there’s only so much money to go around,” said Wietzke.

    The $200 million-per-crash cap on liability was put in place to limit the cost to taxpayers. Amtrak is subsidized by the federal government, which covers its losses. Its most recent annual request to Congress was for $2 billion.

    Maybe the taxpayer shouldn’t be on the hook and Amtrak shouldn’t be subsidized. Nah, that’s crazy talk.

    1. Train crashes? I hear that aviation law pays much better…

      1. Well sure, but you have to be a real…you know…

    1. They were the best band at Coachella this year.

    2. Is that Bungie’s next game?

  20. “I remember nothing. Oh, wait, I do remember something. I wasn’t drunk. Seriously.”

  21. George Stephanopoulos of ABC News gave at least $50,000 to the Clinton Foundation?something he should have disclosed before interviewing a critic of the Clinton Foundation.

    His people are now admitting it was closer to $75,000 USD.

    He must really like the Clinton Foundation. My wallet has a heart attack when someone suggests I give “only” $10 a month to one of the local charities.

  22. No one has mentioned Harry Shearer is leaving The Simpsons?

    1. If he had a shred of integrity, he would have left 15 years ago.

      PUT THAT SAD SHOW OUT OF ITS MISERY.

      1. Ten I think is a better cutoff.

      2. Not for nothing, but sometimes, just for fun, I go back to reviews of seasons 8-10… which all talked about how awful the show was getting and how the old episodes are so much better. Now those episodes are classics.

        1. I have every episode through Season 13 on my server. After that, barf.

      3. I think he was a loud voice of dissent for all that time. He hasn’t been afraid to badmouth decisions on the show.

        It’s a paycheck, man. A HUGE one.

    2. That’s get to be the end it, you would think.

      1. Nope. It’s going on at least two more seasons. They say they’re going to re-cast his roles.

        I still watch the show every week (well, usually DVR it, but still). But… it’s time to end it.

        1. People like you are the problem.

          1. I KNOW! But I can’t help it! It’s an addiction.

            I’ve been watching since the Tracy Ullman days. I was 10 years old at the time. I’m 38 now. I’ve got too much of my life invested in it to stop now!

            1. Ah, the sunk cost fallacy writ large…

    3. The Simpson showrunners did it!

  23. Raven-Symone did something before she did the voice of Iridessa from Disney Fairies?

    (I have a six year old daughter, what can I say?)
    (They turned Tinkerbell into MacGyver. She’s awesome.)

    1. She co-starred with a very famous jello rapist.

      1. How does one rape jello?

        1. It’s very easy with affirmative consent laws.

        2. Give it some liquid laced with a rape-facilitating drug.

          I mean, that’s what I hear…

          /looks around nervously

        3. You don’t rape Jello, Jello rapes you.

        4. Using your pudding pop?

        5. Using your pudding pop?

          1. Why don’t you have a Coke and a smile and shut the Fuck up!

  24. I have often wondered why people on the left can be so simultanously smug and self-assured that they are informed, while remaining blindingly igorant

    Then i realized = oh, its because the New York Times uses bullshit charts to illustrate political narratives

    Never mind that “government” isn’t in the ‘construction’ business…. but that the data they use to reinforce their ‘MOAR INFRASTRUCTURS!!’ chanting has zero to do with the actual subject they’re talking about.

    1. Not to mention the train derailed because it was going DOUBLE the recommended speed. It’s not like better track was going to help.

      1. MOAR MONEY MAKES PEOPLE SLOWER ITS TRUE HERES A CHART

      2. Just need to bank the turn a little more.

      3. Better, straighter track would have!

        That is a real argument out there.

    2. From the article, ” (A hat-tip to Joe Weisenthal, of Business Insider, who calculated this statistic in 2013, after the collapse of a bridge near Seattle.)”

      Unless I’ve forgotten about a different bridge, the structure on that one was hit by an oversized truck, and that caused the collapse. Perhaps the bridge could have been updated over time, but it didn’t just spontaneously disintegrate.

  25. Australia has the “best” minimum wage.

    One thing I noticed on my trips to Australia, fewer staff in restaurants. You don’t tip in Australia, and waitstaff have the same minimum wage as other workers, unlike the US with its exemption for tipped employees. At every restaurant I ate at, staff just took an order (at a counter, not at your table), brought food to you, and bussed the table after you left.

    1. What people also neglect to mention is that Australia is fucking HARDCORE on its immigration enforcement and always has been. They have very few low skilled workers in that country relative to the rest of the Western world because they’re an island with extremely strict immigration enforcement.

      If America tried to have that kind of minimum wage, you’d end up with approximately a 25% unemployment rate among Hispanics because a huge percentage of recent Mexican immigrants simply wouldn’t have the skills to justify the wage.

      1. And those immigration restrictions don’t exactly make Australia a backwards hellhole, do they?

        1. Yep.

    2. staff just took an order (at a counter, not at your table), brought food to you, and bussed the table after you left.

      That…actually kinda sounds exactly what I want from my wait staff. We shouldn’t be too hasty here…

      1. but do you really want australians touching your food?

        1. Based on the (very limited, admittedly) sample of Australian womanhood I’ve seen:

          Yes, I want them touching my food, in a most double-entendre meaning that can possibly be read into the phrase.

          1. There are ugly Aussie women, just not very many of them.

            1. Having been to Australia, there are a lot of supremely ugly women in Australia.

              All the pretty ones are already famous.

              1. There are good looking women in the big cities, the country, not so much.

                Also, Australian women do not age well. The sun plays havoc on the skin, especially since the ozone layer is also thinner there.

                Men don’t age all that well,either. But the dried up wrinkled look can be reimaged as rugged so many men get a pass.

                Naturally, there are exceptions.

    3. What? I want my servants to bow meekly and bring me everything I ask for, including the check and my credit card.

    4. What I noticed on my trip to Australia, and said so at the time, is that it is The Continent That Service Forgot. Everyone was very nice, but they were in no hurry to do much of anything.

  26. It could also be troubling, says Adia Harvey Wingfield, an assistant professor of sociology at Georgia State University who studies issues of race, class, and gender and their impacts in the workplace. “Diversity becomes defined so broadly that using diversity programs or affirmative action as a way of remedying ongoing historical inequalities can easily become overlooked and dismissed,” she said. “People become focused on having diversity for the sake of diversity and it loses the power to addresses existing inequalities.” [emphasis mine]

    Hmmm…

  27. Spot the Not: weird beer names

    1. Olde Frothingslosh

    2. Porkslap

    3. Hoptimus Prime

    4. Sheepshaggers

    5. Sex Panther

    6. Impale Ale

    1. I’ll go with 2. why not.

      1. C’mon dude, you can find cans of porkslap in your neighborhood.

    2. Well, 60% of the time, #5 works every time, sooo…..5?

    3. I recognize some of those, but Ima go with #5 since Gilly took my first pick.

    4. 4. Unless it’s from New Zealand.

    5. isn’t 5 the cologne from Anchorman, unless it’s also a beer

    6. I remember #1 being the pinnacle of my beer can collection when I was a young’un. Big fat woman on the can.

      Imma say 4.

      1. After guessing, I have went and looked… There is no not.

        We’ve been duped.

        1. This calls for nothing less than a swirly for Derpy. To be administered in the communal bathroom of the Jezebel dorm during shark week, in the designated RU486 stall.

      2. I even tried drinking #1. It was flavorless.

        No, I’m not referring to the woman on the can, I’m referring to the contents of the can.

    7. I have personally tasted 1, 2, and 3. I vote 5.

    8. 6 is the Not. #1 now features a monocle-clad face.

      1. Oh, drat. There really is an Impale Ale.

      2. But how does Sex Panther compare to the nectar of the gods known as BLACK CAMO?!

        1. Black Camo is what happens when a Pan Galactic Gargleblaster drinks another Pan Galactic Gargleblaster and then gets high with Agile Cyborg.

          1. Camo Black that is. Black Camo is its evil twin.

    9. there are some really awesome beer names!

      Soft Pour Corn
      Polygamy Porter (from Utah)
      Arrogant Bastard
      Donner Party Porter
      and my favorite of all time:
      Tactical Nuclear Penguin (a 32% ABV Stout)

  28. Chile: Where ‘Education Reform Protests‘ are Indistinguishable from Puerto Rican Pride day in NYC

    1. I read about this. “Reform” = “not just free shit, but free shit handed out and controlled by a central department”. One size and free for all!

    2. Uh, there’s way more hot babes during the PR thing in New York.

    3. What’s up with all of the stray dogs?

      I like it.

      1. I don’t think they were strays, I saw a collar on one and a bandana on another.

        They were having a ball, made me chuckle.

  29. Like I have always said, “as Raven-Symone goes, so goes the nation.”

  30. Ames, Iowa City Council driving away business due to ill-conceived regulations:

    http://amestrib.com/news/secon…..ry-closure

    First they came for the second-hand stores…

    1. Idiots. I left a comment there.

  31. Spot the Not: wacky movie titles

    1. Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death

    2. Bela Lugosi Meets a Brooklyn Gorilla

    3. Sharktopus vs. Termigator

    4. The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!?

    5. The Secret Lives of Dentists

    6. Killer Klowns from Outer Space

    1. i’m going with 2, because if i keep picking it, sooner or later i will be right

    2. 3. It looks like it could be a real movie so maybe it’s a red herring.

    3. 5 sounds more like a porn than a movie.

      I saw the MST3K version of #5.

      I know #6 exists.

      I’m guessing 3. I know there was Sharktopus, and there was Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda, and there’s going to be another sequel, but I don’t think it’s Termigator.

      1. Er, that was supposed to be I’ve seen the MST3K version of #4.

    4. 4 is a classic mst3k episode

      I’ll guess 2

    5. #3. All the rest are real.

    6. 3

      I know 2 and 6 are real.

      1. Bonus prize: Termigator is a brand of hot sauce

        http://ecx.images-amazon.com/i…..bJtgrL.jpg

      2. Imagine the meeting where they pitched this idea:

        “It’s like Jurassic Park meets Night of the Living Dead, only without the subtlety and nuance.”

        “I like it, but can you make it even dumber?”

        “Can do!”

    1. Bush is going to get waxed in the GOP primaries regardless.

    2. Bush is going to get waxed in the GOP primaries regardless.

    3. To bad you can’t ‘Trime’ travel and fix your post.

  32. Stagger down memory lane with 46 classic visual gags from the Simpsons.

    “Parent/Teacher Night: Let’s Share the Blame.”

      1. I didn’t see any shots from the Ayn Rand School for Tots, which is a shame.

        “Playing nicely, little humans?”

        1. I took that episode as an attempt to discredit Rand and show how Maggie rebelled and worked with the others to get what they wanted. I took it the opposite- Maggie and the others worked together and overcame the strangling bureaucracy. I suppose everyone sees what they want to see.

          1. I took that episode as an attempt to discredit Rand

            Maybe. Or maybe they were going for the type of joke where one idea is being used in an inappropriate context, like the electroshock family therapy. A preschool indoctrinating children with objectivist principles is a hilariously wrong. Having seen it a mere week after finishing Atlas Shrugged for the first time, I thought it hilarious.

    1. At least one of those is from American Dad.

    2. At least one of those is from American Dad.

  33. Needle Exchange Program So Successful, City Merges it With Department of Bong and Crack-Pipes

  34. if i keep picking it, sooner or later i will be right

    And this is how you get lotteries.

    1. Still accurate.

  35. Why does Obama hate poor DC kids and wage war against them?

    …while sending his own kids to a private school.

  36. Jezebel, fighting stereotypes, as always:

    Japanese Hotel’s New ‘Crying Rooms’ Are Pretty Genius, to Be Honest

    I guess the fact that a dude is writing it bucks stereotype… Kind of.

    Someone else can quote some of the brilliant stereotype-bucking in the comments, if they’d like.

    1. I guess the fact that a dude is writing it bucks stereotype… Kind of.

      Not the stereotype of dude writing for Jezz!

    2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      “I cry a lot in general. But man, my public crying, in retrospect has been SO BAD. The day after my ex girlfriend and I broke up, I stood in the middle of an extremely crowded Q train on my way to work during rush hour, literally heaving and sobbing. For the ENTIRE ride.

      Weird thing about grief. I literally did not care where I was. Coulda used a crying room.”

      This is so sad.

      “Crying in public is my jam. If I’m upset enough to cry, I’m cool with people knowing I’m upset. I hate it when I start crying and someone tries to hustle me out of sight, like “Oh my god, this lady is leaking salty water from her eyes! The horror!”

      People are so weird about emotion. I have a theory that the real reason people are always talking about being stressed is because saying you’re “stressed out” is a socially approved way of saying you’re sad, disappointed, depressed, anxious, etc. We’re so weird about negative feelings, and we expect people to just not have them because they are inconvenient. It’s fucked up. Let your heaving sobs fly, ladies.”

      Holy mother of God.

      1. It could be my heritage, which includes a lot of stoic nationalities, but I think crying in public is something to be embarrassed about unless you have a really good reason, like escaping a serial killer or finding out a loved one just died.

        1. and I don’t think it’s just repression. There’s actually a very good reason. Because if displays of extreme distress in public are rare, then the people who really need help will not just be shrugged off because they’re assumed to be a whiny drama queen.

          1. It’s also incredibly rude since it’s distracting to people around you and makes them uncomfortable. It’s incredibly self-absorbed and narcissistic to do this over nothing because you’re basically making the people around you upset for no reason.

            1. What lap & Irish said.

      2. The only time I have ever cried in public (except amongst family when my Dad died) was in awe when I first saw the Hoover Dam with my.own eyes.

      3. Weird thing about grief. I literally did not care where I was. Coulda used a crying room.”

        These sentences seem contradictory.

    3. The saddest paragraph of all time:

      “Oh crap! I completely forgot about thr food needed for binge-crying!! A litre of pistachio icecream, and a family size bag of salt & vinegar chips, crushed up into little crumbs would also be on my crying room rider.”

      Binge. Crying.

      1. Seek help, commenter.

      2. worse, planned binge-crying.

    1. Liang was charged in February in the death of Akai Gurley, 28, who police said was struck by a single bullet that discharged from the officer’s gun

      FAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAPFAP

    2. This much rings true, though the discrimination is probably anti-rookie rather than anti-Chinese:

      “Inside the courtroom, Queens businessman Phil Gim, 63, said the Liang criminal case is evidence of discrimination against the Chinese-American community. He noted the indictment charging Liang with six crimes came amid a string of other fatal encounters between police and unarmed black men, in which the officers – most of whom were white – were not charged.”

  37. If you despair for America, visit Dubai. If you fear our nation’s best days are behind us, visit Dubai. If you believe American entrepreneurship is being crushed by incompetent bureaucrats, crony capitalists, rabid regulators, and a growing dependent class, visit Dubai. If you worry that Detroit represents our future, that “equality” will triumph over excellence, and that redistributionist democracy has entered a death spiral, visit Dubai.

    Visit Dubai to convince yourself that if an isolated, backward-looking culture in one of the most troubled regions of the world can shake off the fetters of stagnation and build a prosperous modern city where 25 years ago there was only desert, then surely America can regain much of what it has lost.

    http://www.forbes.com/sites/bi…..ic-growth/

    We can win anywhere. The only flaw in the article is neglecting to mention Dubai’s more or less open-door immigration policy and the massive role it plays in Dubai’s success.

    1. “Dubai’s more or less open-door immigration policy and the massive role it plays in Dubai’s success’

      whut

      there’s a lot of things you could say about UAE, but their “immigrant friendliness” isn’t exactly their most shiny feature.

      They’re famous all over the world for importing tens of thousands of dirt-poor pakistanis/indians and exploiting the shit out of them, then booting them out.

      http://rt.com/news/198536-uae-…..s-migrant/

      you make it sound like they offer everyone free citizenship and have massive social-economic mobility

      1. They exploit the shit out of them after letting them in.

        1. And then boot them out. You’re also ignoring the minor issue of North Korean labor in the UAE which is outright slave labor provided to them by the North Korean state.

          Yeah, what a wonderful market economy – a tiny city-state run by rich ass oil barons and maintained through torture, forced servitude, and a liberal application of Sharia that includes the illegality of homosexuality. You can be deported for kissing in public, which kind of refutes your argument about free immigration.

          You might want to reconsider your applause.

          1. I am not sure how much North Korea’s slave labour is really helpful to them.

            Dubai is not a model but it is a victory for free market capitalism. You are being reactionary.

            1. Die in a fire, Cytotoxic.

              1. Good comeback.

        2. The point is that’s not even “immigration” = that’s a very specific kind of temporary, indentured servitude.

          to be fair = i believe we NEED a temporary worker program in the US and have a far more fluid way of dealing with immigrants.

          but patting them on the back for the way the UAE does it is fucking retarded. its the worst case example.

          1. Tons and tons of migrants want into to Dubai. They are doing something right.

            1. tons and tons of migrants want out of @#(*@ Africa and South Asia

              that says very little about how fucking great the UAEs policy is, and a hell of a lot about how shitty africa and pakistan are.

              Hundreds of migrants have died tried to getting to places like *Greece*

              By your non-logic, ‘greece must be doing something right’

    2. Also missing is the fact that Dubai is rich as hell because of all the Arab oil sheiks who use it as a playground, that a small city state cannot be compared to a continent spanning nation of 300 million people, that Dubai practices modern day slavery and that Dubai is essentially an outright autocracy that tortured protesters who wanted more Democracy.

      Yeah, let’s be more like them. It’s a fucking gem of a place.

      1. Are you fucking serious? Do you actually think Dubai is prosperous because it’s a dictatorship that abuses people? Because that plan didn’t work out for a lot of other places. I think it has a bit more to do with the FREE MARKET CAPITALISM.

        1. It’s more than abuse. Like Qatar, they practice what amounts to modern day slavery. Lot easier to get shit done when you’re not paying your workers.

          1. This is unhelpful. How many of the workers are ‘modern day slaves’?

            1. IOW, if you ignore the slavery everything is fine. You are beneath contempt, Cytotoxic.

        2. I think it has a bit more to do with the fact that a huge percentage of the people living there are immensely rich from Arabic oil and that they don’t give a fuck about human rights so they’re okay with using outright slave labor when it suits them. Explain to me how slavery is free market capitalism, Cytotoxic, given that there’s nothing less ‘free market’ than forced servitude as has been provably practiced in Dubai. If you want to applaud Arab slavers, then be my guest, but don’t impugn capitalism by linking it to these atrocities.

          1. That’s bad, but it’s not why Dubai is successful. There is one reason it is successful: free trade zones, low taxes, and the British Common Law of the DIFC.

          2. Yeah. Not big on the Dubai and Qatar thing. Especially when they brag about it.

          3. Dubai’s oil reserves are negligible. They have built what they built on trade.

    3. And the fact that Dubai is going to one day, assuming that the city isn’t overtaken by the desert, completely farcically, and totally collapse?

    4. The enormous oil wealth relative to the population has maybe a little something to do with it.

      1. There are lots of places with enormous oil wealth and they are not like Dubai, which has almost no oil btw.

        1. Not as much relative to the population as there. You have to remember, there are very few actual Dubai citizens. The few who are, basically live on welfare from the oil money. Yeah, they have open borders. They have to. The place is so rich there would be no one to do any work if they didn’t.

          1. Oil barely makes up 5% of Dubai’s GDP so I call BS.

            1. Wrong.

              Dubai is just the “financial center” of the UAE. Its a city – not a country with its own GDP.

              Emirates money is 85% from oil revenue. Dubai is where that money gets converted into other stuff.

              1. It also doesn’t matter if oil is only 5% of Dubai’s GDP since people BRING THEIR OIL MONEY INTO DUBAI and then buy shit. When a Saudi oil prince goes to Dubai with all his petrodollars and proceeds to buy fancy cars, the purchases show up as fancy cars, but this was only possible because Dubai is a playground for rich Arab oilmen.

                It is NOT an economic system that can be emulated anywhere else in the world, since there is nowhere else on the planet with that concentration of oil money.

                1. Dubai is a playground for Europeans and Aussies. Saudi princes cross the causeway into Bahrain and party down. I don’t know why a Saudi prince would trot off to Dubai to buy much of anything when they have large ports like Jeddah where they can get shit delivered from Europe before it even thinks of getting all the way around the peninsula to Dubai.

              2. The Emirates is not exactly a big happy family that shares everything equally. They’re a federation of 7 fairly independent entities. Abu Dhabi emirate is about 75% of the landmass and has something like 90% of the oil. Maybe more. Dubai is very oil-poor – they’ve made their fortune on trade and shipping and tourism. Sharjah is a cheap place for commuters to Dubai to live and it has most of the higher education institutions (Al Ain being a major exception, which is within Abu Dhabi). Ajman is a tiny, VERY conservative suburb of the previous two, and it eschews most sources of wealth, except it has a couple of tiny exclaves with some oil rights. Ras al Khaimah and Umm al Quwain are dirt poor rockpiles in the north, and they’re relatively OK with that, because they can sell water to the other emirates. Fujairah is a huge port on the Gulf of Oman, on the other side of the Strait of Hormuz, so its shipping traffic provides most of its wealth.

                So really, only Abu Dhabi has a shitload of oil, and they’re certainly buying shit with it now. The only major way the oil wealth is shared is through military purchases, as that is a federal concern (as are their many, many, many various federal police forces). That and the time Abu Dhabi bailed out Dubai back during the real estate crash.

  38. Mom sues school board for teen’s arrest, suspension over NRA shirt

    The lawsuit says Ms. Gore told Jared that he had to turn his shirt inside out or face suspension. After the teen refused, teacher David Burroway hauled him off to the principal’s office by his arm, according to the lawsuit, The Logan Banner reported.

    The teen was later charged with obstruction of justice because he refused to keep quiet after the officer ordered him to stop talking.

    1. Freedom of speech and freedom to bare arms!

    2. Just wear an N*W*A T-shirt instead, no problem.

  39. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/cul…..ngine.html

    Because there is nothing the left doesn’t hate. Thomas the Train engine. No kidding.

  40. Very surprised that Snuffleupagus is giving money to the Clintons. I’d always assumed he was on their payroll.

    -jcr

    1. quid pro quo

      access

      1. “quid pro quo
        access”

        Tony would have us believe he’s just contributing to the Clinton legacy!
        And there may be more truth than Tony intended….

    2. Perhaps it’s a money laundering scheme.

  41. Have some insider scoop on the young girl in the Miseracordia lawsuit; or that nursing lawsuit where she failed those two classes and is suing.

    My mother runs a home health agency in that area and one of her part time employees is an adjunct professor and has had this girl in her classes. From what she told my mother, everything we assume about her from just reading the story is mostly true. She constantly whines about her grades and acts stuck up. One story goes that she got a C in a class this women taught. The girl complained about her grade, telling the professor that if she got an “A” she would get all her tuition reimbursed by her part time job. The professor was amazed that the girl tried to complain her way from a C to an A!!!!! Also, she apparently went to a private high school in that area as well.

    But indications are that this girl just does not have the mental capability to handle nursing whatsoever. She should have taken time to get her shit straightened out with therapy before ever embarking on a nursing degree.

    Also, how the heck do I check who has responded to my posts without having to scroll down all the time every few minutes?

    Blarg!!!

    1. Reasonable…. 🙂

  42. Bill Nye’s Lightsail solar sailing spacecraft wins on Kickstarter

    A campaign to launch a small spacecraft propelled through space by ultra-thin solar sails has crowdfunded enough in just one day to build the spacecraft.

    1. Lightsail solar sailing

      People probably thought it was a book on tongue twisters.

  43. That train was no doubt run by a union member,

    Never hire anyone associated with a union, as this is precisely what you’ll end up with.

  44. That train was no doubt run by a union member,

    Never hire anyone associated with a union, as this is precisely what you’ll end up with.

    1. Blame the squirrelz union for double posts?

      1. Why would a union squirrel do *twice* the work it’s supposed to do?

        1. Good point.

  45. From the train link, written by someone claiming to be an engineer:

    “Yes, it happened to you but it could have been any one of us and you are not alone.”

    Uh, that doesn’t make me wanna ride the choo-choo.

    1. “Hey! Shit happens, amirite? Whatcha gonna do?”

      1. And how about the guy who says ‘Why does this always happen to me?’
        Uh, ’cause you’re a fuck up?

  46. Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

    The fight was called in only 12 minutes, after which 28 fighters were declared dead, while the other 14 suffered severe injuries including broken bones and lost limbs, rendering them unable to fight back.

    Sihamoni was quoted before the fight stating that he felt since his fighters out-numbered the lion 42 to 1, that they “? could out-wit and out-muscle [it].”

    1. Sorry.. an oldie but a goodie

  47. Too lazy to check upthread – just wanted to say “thanks!” for the Alt Text, Rico.

    *gives menacing look*

    1. There needs to be an “angry glare” emoji

  48. Putin’s SA:

    Putin Turns to Volunteer Vigilantes to Patrol Moscow

    The United Russia political party, whose most prominent member is Russian President Vladimir Putin, will assemble squads of “athletic” men pulled from private security firms, military associations, and Russia’s famed Cossacks, to patrol Moscow on Friday nights with the aim of reducing petty crime, illegal parking, drug sales, and unspecified violations of public order, according to the Kommersant newspaper, a business-focused daily. The name of the program roughly translates to “Safe Capital.”

    1. “unspecified violations of public order”

      Like not paying protection money?

      1. Or being a homo or defying Russian Orthodoxy. You’d really like to live in a society like that, wouldn’t you, Eddie?

        1. Could you get a hobby or something, Tonio, or maybe stalking me *is* your hobby?

  49. These people are getting harder and harder to parody.

    New billboards advising Atlanta residents to “Stay Calm, Don’t Run” during encounters with law enforcement drew rebuke this week from City Council members and police who say the campaign sends the wrong message.

    …..

    Running from police has long been standard practice in many disenfranchised communities, said Atlanta council member Kwanza Hall, who grew up in the city.

    “Whenever we saw the police coming, the rule was to run, especially if you might have been in the right, because more than likely you still might get in trouble.”

    http://news.yahoo.com/atlanta-…..13560.html

    We should’ve picked our own damn cotton.

    1. Why would someone named klansman say something so racist?

      I thought the Klan was an equal opportunity employer – did Blazing Saddles lie to me?

  50. My dear, the next five minutes can change your life!
    Give a chance to your good luck.
    Read this article, please!
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