Bail Set at $500,000 for Baltimore Teen Who Turned Himself In For Rioting, Bernie Sanders Too Much For His Supporters, Messenger Crashes Into Mercury

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  • Senate

    The second prisoner in the van where Freddie Gray sustained fatal injuries says he didn't tell police Gray was banging his head against the van trying to hurt himself but only that he heard "a little banging." The prisoner says he feared for his life after the report based on his testimony was released. The teen who ended up on newspaper front pages after smashing a police car with a traffic cone in Baltimore, meanwhile, voluntarily turned himself in to police and is being held on $500,000 bail.

  • Democrats are upset Shinzo Abe, the first Japanese prime minister to address Congress, didn't apologize for his country's use of comfort women during World War 2.
  • The leaders of the only organized progressive effort to support Bernie Sanders' candidacy for president would prefer if Elizabeth Warren ran instead.
  • President Obama has decided to locate his presidential library in Chicago.
  • Legislators in Texas voted unanimously to require police to obtain warrants before conducting  anal and vaginal searches.
  • The death toll in Nepal from a magnitude-7.9 earthquake has exceeded 6,100, and reconstruction is estimated to cost $2 billion.
  • A parade in Vietnam celebrated the 40 year anniversary of its victory in the Vietnam War, or as it's called in Vietnam, the American War.
  • The NASA spacecraft MESSENGER crashed into Mercury at the end of its four year mission, as expected.

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  1. 50) THE laws of God, the laws of man,
    He may keep that will and can;
    Not I: let God and man decree
    Laws for themselves and not for me;
    And if my ways are not as theirs
    Let them mind their own affairs.
    Their deeds I judge and much condemn,
    Yet when did I make laws for them?
    Please yourselves, say I , and they
    Need only look the other way.
    But no, they will not; they must still
    Wrest their neighbour to their will,
    And make me dance as they desire
    With jail and gallows and hell-fire.
    And how am I to face the odds
    Of man’s bedevilment and God’s?
    I, a stranger and afraid
    In a world I never made.
    They will be master, right or wrong;
    Though both are foolish, both are strong.
    And since, my soul, we cannot fly
    To Saturn nor to Mercury,
    Keep we must, if keep we can,
    These foreign laws of God and man.

    1. It’s by A. E. Housman

      1. Just tryin’ to class this joint up with some libertarian poetry, but I see it’s not having much of an impression.

        Maybe if I’d posted something about gamboling?

        1. I enjoyed it, and felt an affinity for the author.

          Thanks.

        2. Something with more tits.

          1. And ass…

        3. Get off my lawn hipster!

  2. A parade in Vietnam celebrated the 40 year anniversary of its victory in the Vietnam War, or as it’s called in Vietnam, the American War.

    And Brazil nuts are just called nuts down there.

    1. I wish you had used Chinese Fire Drill as the example.

      1. Way to bring racism into it.

        1. You’re the one who brought up brazil nuts.

          1. No, toes of color.

      2. Someone’s up early.

    2. War of Northern Aggression.

      My first threadscott!

        1. *throws squirrel gun to swiss*

      1. Woo-hoo!!

  3. Anyone here use AirBnB?
    http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/…..-1.3053555

    Money quotes:
    She was told that a “huge luxury party bus pulled up” and 100 people piled into her home.
    and
    She overheard Calgary police at the scene describe the situation as a “drug-induced orgy.”

    1. Gotta love the CBC’s scare-mongering toward the private sector.

    2. They say “drug-induced orgy” as though it were a bad thing.

    3. Drugs don’t induce orgies, but they can definitely enhance them.

    4. This never happens in licensed hotels!!

      1. Hotels do at least know enough to not have the caretakers leave the place before they let you stay. Personally, I think it’s crazy to let someone have the run of your home without knowing them or at least doing a thorough background check. At least if you stayed there while they did you’d have some control over your possessions (i.e. casually, politely mentioning you have a shotgun). Maybe I’m insensitive but I don’t really feel sorry for them.

    5. Why would you let them inside the house? Did they have a battering ram?

      1. nvm, I see that the 100 people arrived after they left

  4. Satellite images show Kim Jong-un’s troops carrying out mass executions using anti-aircraft guns which would leave the bodies ‘pulverized’
    Sickening pictures have been released by Committee for Human Rights
    Photographs show six anti-aircraft guns used to shoot line of people
    A viewing platform can be seen set up nearby
    Expert said to label it ‘cruel and unusual punishment’ was understatement

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..rized.html
    Baltimore cops are jealous.

    1. That’s what you get for refusing to make kimichi for an arranged wedding.

    2. The Film Actors Guild approves this execution.

      1. FAG is at it again!

    3. I get how that’s unusual (everything in that country is unusual), but how is it cruel? It seems like using such overpowered weapons would lead to a very quick death. It’s certainly no more cruel than the normal method of AK-47s or pistols.

      1. It’s a tabloid. You look at the pictures and ignore the words.

        1. Ah, understood. Exact opposite of playboy.

          1. I only read Playboy for the jokes. Seriously. The fake-tit / liposuctioned-hip look doesn’t do anything for me.

            1. Oh, so you’re in the John camp now.

              Enjoy your chubby chasing…

              1. I’ve never liked the looks of surgically altered women.

                *shrug*

              2. Got nothing to do with that. If I was interested in looking at porn I’d go by at the very minimum Penthouse or more likely Hustler

                1. I thought broadband had made magazine pr0n obsolete.

    4. They (the targets) don’t look like people to me.

  5. The prisoner says he feared for his life after the report based on his testimony was released.

    Yeah, he’s gonna get it from all sides.

  6. Nasa tests ‘WARP DRIVE’ engine that could carry passengers to the moon in just four hours…and may even travel faster than the speed of light
    System works by bouncing microwaves around in a closed container
    Sun’s energy provides electricity for microwaves, so no fuel is needed
    Researchers previously said this wouldn’t work in the vacuum of space
    Engineers quietly revealed results of test to show otherwise on a forum

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..light.html

    1. So how long would it take to get to Mars?

      1. How long would it take to get your ass to Mars.

      2. Depends on how far Earth is from Mars. Potentially weeks with a favorable alignment.

        Check out a moving solar system model which provides a better explanation than I could in words.

        1. A 4 hour trip to the moon sounds like about a 1g constant acceleration (then decelerating the second half). If it really could do that kind of continuous thrust (remember, not propellant needed so you might as well not coast), Mars would be like a day, maybe 2 away.

          1. He said “continuous thrust”

            /Beavis

          2. Mars is almost as far from the Earth as the Earth is from the Sun. 1 day seems fast even at the optimal configuration.

            1. Yeah, looks like it’s almost 2 at the close approach. But not close to “weeks”, even at the worst case alignment.

            2. Again, the Earth-Mars distance varies greatly. Sometimes they’re at opposite sides of the sun (max distance), other times they’re relatively close (at the same point in their orbits). Look at an animated Sol System model.

      1. I’ll believe it when I’m flying with it.

        1. It can’t be much better than what you and Pro L’ use already…

          1. It’s stealthier, though. We have to fly way outside of the ecliptic to avoid the fusion explosions being seen.

    2. may even travel faster than the speed of light

      Bullshit. I’m assuming that derp wasn’t in the NASA press release but something a dim-witted reporter made up.

      1. It’s the Daily Mail. Their reporters aren’t known for their knowledge of physics.

      2. I wasn’t aware it took light 4 hours to travel the distance between the earth and the moon. Light is really loafing nowadays.

        1. The article shifts gears, as it were, between what they think they can actually achieve and then goes off the rails to FTL. My take on the article: ok, they’ve made a propulsion breakthrough, research this further on more reliable sources.

      3. The rest of the article is just talking about creating thrust without propellant. While being able to do that would make high speed space travel much easier, it wouldn’t do anything about going FTL.

        1. I find this whole business a little dubious.

          1. I just got a brilliant idea. What if we took a spaceship, and accelerated it by hitting it repeatedly with falling rocks?

            1. Some sort of Flintstone drive?

              1. I’m thinking we name it based on the Orion theme. Though falling rocks might not be as cool as exploding nukes.

                1. Orion. Um, Thundarr the Drivarian?

        2. The ftl statement was based on a report earlier in the week that they thought the EM drive might be creating a small warp field (the same type the Albecurre drive would create, not the fictional one from Star Trek) and if that turned out to be the case then yes FTL speeds might eventually be possible.

          That said, my understanding of the drive is that while it is a true reactionless thruster the trust produced is very very low so the odds that they would ever be able to scale it up to propelling a manned craft at 1g constant acceleration is highly unlikely and so that 4 hour trip to the moon is unlikely but if they could get it to even 1/10th of a g that would take a trip to the moon down from 4 days to about 16 hours and a trip to Mars (at it’s closest approach to earth) would go from about 3 months down to about 10 days and any point in the Solar System would be less than a 90 day trip at .1g of constant thrust.

          (note, all of that assumes you accelerate for half the trip, then turn around and decelerate for the other half)

          1. The one thing is that for intrasolar travel, a lot of problems would be solved by speed. Go faster.

            1. That solves a lot (not all) of problems for interstellar travel too.

            2. Shake & Bake!

              I wanna go fast!

    3. Can I put this on my truck? Imagine never having to stop for fuel.

    4. Just tell me they aren’t going to test out the faster-than-light drive with damn, dirty apes.

    1. “Flipper, all your friends are concerned about you…”

    2. I thought they went a’ rapin’? Dolphin = STEVE SMITH OF THE SEA.

      1. “Ask any mermaid you happen to see ?…”

    3. I’m waiting for drug warriors to call for a Dolphin version of the DEA.

    4. Don’t bogart that puffer, my friend

    5. Dan Marino DOES NOT approve!

  7. Tallywackers: All-male version of Hooters opens in May

    http://www.wtsp.com/story/news…../26591779/

    1. guys serving hot dogs and cocktails

      “More, um, *mayonnaise*, Ladies?”

        1. Looked like she was gonna have a stroke.

          1. Two nuns were sitting on a park bench, when suddenly a streaker ran by.

            One of the nuns had a stroke.

            The other one couldn’t reach that far.

            1. Thanks for the Hooter Bikini Pageant pics. Nice.

    2. They’d better have another gimmick–like great food–because that isn’t going to work the same way as Hooters does with men. Unless they’re aiming at gay men, then I don’t know.

      1. Oh, I think the gays would flock to that place.

        1. Oh, then I retract my criticism. It’s a niche audience, but that can work if they market it right.

      2. Maybe if they mix in some bondage with the service they’ll attract the 50 shades crowd.

    3. And I’m absolutely certain that all the feminists throwing tantrums about how Hooters objectifies women and denies able women employment because of their “lookism” will be insisting that Tallywackers hires overweight, balding middle aged guys. Right?

      1. No, they’ll be more likely to demand that t hey hire women

    4. And I’m absolutely certain that all the feminists throwing tantrums about how Hooters objectifies women and denies able women employment because of their “lookism” will be insisting that Tallywackers hires overweight, balding middle aged guys. Right?

  8. http://hotair.com/archives/201…..e-demands/

    Michael Moore is a pure idiot but…does he have some valid points here?

    1. “Here’s my demand: I want every African-American currently incarcerated for drug “crimes” or nonviolent offenses released from prison today.”

      Let the whites, latinos and Asians just rot, they have too much privilege to be released.

      1. I’m not suggesting he isn’t an unhinged progtard – he is – but I do think he makes some fair points.

        If there wasn’t the current prohibition on drugs there would be a lot less people in jail.

        Imprison u, shoot u, sever your spine, crush your larynx, send u to war, keep u poor, call u a thug, not let u vote. But u can sing for us.
        All except the ‘not let u vote’ (pure derp) is what cops do with impunity.

        And the rest who r imprisoned- I dont believe 50% of them did what they’re accused of. Lies. Greed. A modern day slave system. Poor whites 2
        And he does bring up all others as well…including whites.

        Next demand: Disarm the police. We have a 1/4 billion 2nd amendment guns in our homes 4 protection. We’ll survive til the right cops r hired
        Frankly I think he is far closer to right than wrong here.

        Local cops now militarized. Founding Fathers said NO army policing on our soil. Why do cops have tanks? Oh, right – the Enemy: The Black Man
        Again, more derp as cops view everyone as the enemy not just The Black Man, but he is dead right here.

        1. OK, good points except for the white-bashing. Isn’t Baltimore run by black people?

          1. The color of the skin of the people that run Baltimore isn’t the problem – it’s the progtard beliefs writ large that are the problem.

        2. Next demand: Disarm the police. We have a 1/4 billion 2nd amendment guns in our homes 4 protection. We’ll survive til the right cops r hired

          I call BS on this one

          1. The BS part of it is that the people who need guns for self protection are the ones that have been effectively disarmed – everyone in the major inner cities.

            We have far more cops then necessary and only for executing the bullshit war on drugs.

            1. True datt. Otherwise, i see no BS. I would rather live in a part of time where the police are afraid to come than a place with a constant police presence. The poepl in the bad part of town would know pretty quick not to fucking break into my place…

            2. And didn’t Moore put out Bowling for Columbine?

            3. And didn’t Moore put out Bowling for Columbine?

        3. call u a thug,

          I completely agree, Mikey. The people saying mean things about rioters are just racist and icky. That’s why we all know that you’re going to open up your condo in Manhattan (it used to be three apartments, so we know you’ll be able to put up a bunch of them), right?

        4. call u a thug,

          I completely agree, Mikey. The people saying mean things about rioters are just racist and icky. That’s why we all know that you’re going to open up your condo in Manhattan (it used to be three apartments, so we know you’ll be able to put up a bunch of them), right?

        5. But u can sing for us.

          “I get no kick from champagne ?…”

    2. “”””I want every African-American currently incarcerated for drug “crimes” or nonviolent offenses released from prison today.”””

      What about Hispanics, or Whites or Asians or Fat Movie Directors?

      1. Eh, fuck those guys.

        1. I’m sure that happens with frequency in prison.

      2. And the rest who r imprisoned- I dont believe 50% of them did what they’re accused of. Lies. Greed. A modern day slave system. Poor whites 2

        He says ‘all the rest’…

      3. Rich white guy cares nothing for non-dark brown people.
        Lets them rot in cages.
        Great humanitarian.

        1. Your haiku skills need a little tuning up.

  9. I secretly lived in my office for 500 days

    Unable to pay rent in L.A., I slept behind my desk. But what began as a quick financial fix soon became a lifestyle

    1. When I was in my 20s I had a coworker who couldn’t find a nearby apartment he could afford and had to commute an hour. I nearly had him convinced at one point he could just park in our company garage overnight and sleep in the backseat of his car. For showers he could hit the company gym. Think of the savings! The only sticking point was what to do when he wanted to bring a girl home.

      1. Boss’ desk.

      2. Rent a hotel for the night with the savings

      3. Just specialize in the after hours cleaning ladies.

      4. I have done that many times on work trips to save money on hotel rooms. Once for a week straight. There are a few problems. 1) you have to find a safe place to park. You’re not going to sleep well if someone can come up to the car. Rest areas aren’t bad. There are always other cars and it’s well lit. Hard to sleep if it’s too well lit though. 2) it can’t be during summer time unless you want to run the AC all night. Your body heat actually makes the inside of the cab even hotter than outside. 3) you can’t stretch your legs out fully in a car seat. Maybe in a van. This gets really uncomfortable, more so than any other factor, after a while.

        1. Couple pro tips. Get a windshield shade and extra black t-shirts to block out other windows. Put your bag of clothes on the floor by your back seat to make the seat feel wider. Then lay a doubled-up comforter over all of it. Bring a wide mouth Gatorade bottle in case there is no bathroom close by. The best setup I saw was a friend who hung a camping hammock corner-to-corner in his Trooper. And my last, best tip, don’t be in a place in your life or career where you need to sleep in a car, because it sucks.

          1. It’s like Americathon.

        2. Self employed?

          1. I was a roadie. Sometimes I would get some cash for a hotel room. It was a separate check from our pay. No taxes taken out. If you found a friend’s couch or back seat of your car, it was just extra.

            1. Er, technically roadies would be the guys on tour with a musical act. They sleep on a bus or in hotels. But there are many events that are “one-offs” and the logistics of crew lodgings aren’t always taken care of. So if you know the business, technically I wasn’t a roadie, but close enough for those who don’t. It was basically the same job.

        3. I travel in a full sized pickup. It has a fiberglass topper. I sleep in the back. It’s like being in a tent.

    2. Living Wages!

    3. I will admit, when going to college in DC, I seriously considered sleeping in the library and shower at the school gym.

      1. I knew someone who did that for several months

        1. Smart man/woman. If it had been purely up to me, I would have done it. Money saved would have been worth it, but despite not paying for my college, my parents are incredibly inventive with their freak outs. It’s generally best not to antagonize them.

  10. Fury as Detroit prosecutor suggests ‘simple’ solution is to SHOOT anti-cop protesters after some threw bricks
    Teana Walsh, assistant prosecutor in Wayne County, Michigan, wrote Facebook post
    Said she watched violent rioters in Baltimore and found them ‘disgusting’
    Suggested that shooting them was the only solution – then deleted post
    Her bosses were forced to issue statement defending her

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..sters.html

    1. Obviously incorrect, government is good and always there to help. Government can’t be bad because we are the government.

    2. Occam’s Razor, right? Cops good, protesters bad! Make bad protesters go away!

      The logic pans out if you’re a morally degenerate sociopath.

    3. Her bosses were forced foolishly chose to to issue [a] statement defending her, instead of doing their duty and firing her.

  11. Democrats are upset Shinzo Abe, the first Japanese prime minister to address Congress, didn’t apologize for his country’s use of comfort women during World War 2.

    By far Japan’s worst crime during the war.

    1. Women, minorities hardest hit.

    2. And Abenomics the worst since.

    3. It was a rape culture that will live in infamy.

    4. No sugar coating the fact that Japan really got into the atrocity game in WW2, but do the Japanese pols bitch about it if Obama gives a speech to the Diet and doesn’t apologize for our internment camps?

      1. Obama’s white half should also be apologizing for slavery.

      2. Exactly. Why would he apologize to the US congress. Now, South Korea might be different.

        1. Yeah, that is what I was gonna say.

          Not to mention I am certain that Abe can just turn around and point to the trail of tears and ask when an American President will publicly apologize for that or if he wants to look closer to home there are plenty of examples in the Philippines and Vietnam he could use as examples of atrocities that no US President has ever apologized for.

          If this were South Korea he was speaking in the demand would make sense, for the US it is just stupid

    5. By far Japan’s worst crime during the war.

      Actually, it’s up there. Because many of those women were kidnapped/coerced. Not in the sense that Sulkowicz would use those words, but in the sense that we here would use them. And the fact that this was something the military was doing to civilians does rather ratchet it up a notch. Many of those women were Koreans, and this is one of the reasons many Koreans still hold a grudge against the Japanese.

      1. But why the demand that he issue the apology here? Leaving aside the kind of pointlessness of all of these apologies for things done sixty years ago by a totally different government.

        I say we just issue a blanket apology for the 20th century.

        1. Reparations, my understanding at least in the case of the Armenians is that if you acknowledge your country ever did anything bad, then all the other countries are going to gang up on you and force you to give reparations to favored groups.

          1. We bombed the shit out of Japan, occupied it, and made it into our Asian little sister. I think they’ve been repaired. And, of course, most of their victims are dead.

            1. Victims have relatives, and a money transfer could always go from Japan to the Korean government to be distributed.

        2. Koreans pay US congressmen to feign outrage.

        3. I wasn’t speaking to that, PL. I have mixed feelings about the whole apology business. To have gotten an apology immediately after WW2 we’d have probably had to have executed the emporer and established a puppet government.

          1. Well, if it helps, I’m sorry the Japanese were dicks. I’ve been to Tokyo and took Japanese in college. And I eat sushi and own a Honda and Toyota.

            1. And the Japanese girls are fun too I should add.

            2. ” I’ve been to Tokyo and took Japanese in college. And I eat sushi and own a Honda and Toyota.”

              lock and loll

            3. Doesn’t this make you a dick by proxy?

              1. +1 party in nanking

              2. That’s right. Which is why I apologized.

      2. My wife is from Korea and got her undergraduate degree from a Japanese university.

        When we were dating we could invite Koreans to our parties, or we could invite the Japanese. We couldn’t have both. The Korean guys would always end up picking fights with the Japanese guys because of the grudge they hold for Japan’ colonization of Korea for the first half of the 1900’s.

        One of the reasons I think that South Korea isn’t all that worried about the Nork’s nukes is because they are pretty sure that they won’t be the target of them. I’m sure the first nuke is targeted for Tokyo.

  12. Protein World advert: Formal investigation launched into ‘beach body ready’ campaign

    A formal investigation has been launched into an advertisement for Protein World after a campaign asking viewers if they were “beach body ready”.

    The Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) confirmed it had launched an investigation to establish whether the advert breaks harm and offense rules or is socially irresponsible.

    The advert has also been banned from appearing again in its current form.

    1. Brilliant – that’s how you do a marketing campaign, people.

    2. Goddamn we might have to rename the streisand effect.

    3. Really? The advert itself is pretty tame compared to a hell of a lot of others out there. If they’re being investigated, it’s not for the content of the ad, but for their response to the whinging insecure perpetually offended morons who cried bloody murder about it. The ASA is just acting on behalf of the humorless idiots who got pee-pee schwacked by Protein World on twitter.

      1. Well yeah, I mean what else do you think the ASA exists for. This ad was running in Britain, and they don’t give a shit about minority opinions and free speech over there. These guys pissed off the mob and the mob is going to make them pay.

        Really, it makes them all the more brave in my opinion. It would take balls to stand up like they did in America, but to do it in a socialist country is borderline Martyr territory.

    4. Can someone explain how this was sexist (apparently it was getting #EverydaySexism responses)? Can men not have beach bodies?

      1. THE WOMAN WAS HOT, AURIC.

        Not all women are hot. Therefore, having hot women in advertisements (particularly cis-hetero patriarchal ads where they aren’t wearing enough clothes) is evidence that you think women only have value for their tits and that you hate women who are smart and good at math.

        1. What if they had a jacked guy instead? Would that have been okay, or would it have been sexist for implying women can’t get in good shape?

          1. SJW’s hate that type of question, Auric. If you back them into a corner they will sometimes admit that guys can be objectified, but they’ll always follow that up with some type of disclaimer about how that’s an insignificant problem compared with the ongoing, pervasive objectification of women.

          2. They also had an ad with a jacked dude that makes me feel like a 4,000 lbs blob of shit. There was no such SJW vandalism on that ad.

            1. They also had an ad with a jacked dude that makes me feel like a 4,000 lbs blob of shit.

              So they actually were explicitly not sexist. I’m sooooo surprised I didn’t hear about that part of the ad campaign.

        2. evidence that you think women only have value for their tits and that you hate women who are smart and good at math.

          So… what’s your point?

      2. Obviously you are male.

        Don’t expect us to engage in investigative labor on your privileged behalf, patriarch

        /sarc

        1. Enact your labor, not engage in. Get your incomprehensible progjargon right.

          1. Thanks, Warty. This is a steep learning curve for me and I need all the help I can get.

      3. Can someone explain how this was sexist

        It reminded ugly feminists of the reality that they’re ugly and that good-looking men will never want to fuck them without consuming a gallon of hard liquor first.

      4. The poster didn’t have a man on it.

    5. I wonder if I can get their product here

  13. Man who filmed arrest of Freddie Gray ‘taken into custody at gunpoint’ after claiming he has been harassed by cops ever since footage was released
    Kevin Moore claims cops have harassed him since he filmed Gray’s arrest
    He was ‘detained at gunpoint’ on Thursday with two CopWatch members
    Moore, 30, has reportedly been released while the others remain in custody
    Claims he handed over his video of Gray but has been pestered ever since

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-cops.html
    Gotta round up the witnesses.

    1. Oh, this keeps getting worse. But their continued stupidity and overreaching on this should get them some attention from the feds.

    2. Every word the police say is a lie, including “and” and “the”.

      1. I wouldn’t trust a cop to tell me the correct time.

        1. There was a wonderful old music hall song called “If You Want To Know The Time, Ask A Policeman“, because, the song hints, he stole the watch

    3. That’s pretty much how they will get around the 1A right to photograph. Of course then people will get smart and take steps to publish anonymously. In fact if I ever catch any footage, it will probably be distributed by snail mail stick drive to copwatch. Complete with fake return address, and mailed from across town

    1. ‘Britain’s fattest woman’, as she has been described, eats to excess because she wants to and has done so since the age of five.

      Emphasis added. Well, then, fuck her too bad.

    2. She’s so fat.

      How fat is she?

      She’s so fat, her apartment became a flat.

      1. /Swiss’s narrow gaze.

    3. And that’s just to get her to the hospital. Once there, the hospital will need special slings and hoists to move her, reinforced beds and gurneys, etc, etc. And once she gets home she’s going to pop open another gallon of Ice Cream and wash, rinse, repeat.

    4. THIS is the kind of shit that you point to when progs talk about the wonders of government health care and assistance.

      Look at that disgusting whale. She consumes 13,000 calories a day, no doubt provided by government assistance for food purchases. The government had to destroy part of her parents home to get her out of the house the first time. She was provided with a new flat with French doors to prepare crews for the next medical emergency that’s inevitable with people that fat. Look how many fucking resources have to be devoted for her to be treated for a simple infection.

      All life may have value, but when the government is enabling this kind of behavior, it’s clear that people like this bitch are nothing but a drain on society. She literally contributes nothing in any what that offsets what she consumes. She’s basically a giant tumor and will continue to be so because of socialist egalitarianism. Her mom’s a disgusting fatass, too.

      Seeing this shit makes you sympathize somewhat with the John Doe character in “Se7en.”

  14. Jim Boeheim is running for President?

    1. The country is underachieving enough as it is already.

  15. EXCLUSIVE: Where’s the bolt that ‘killed Freddie Gray’? Standard-issue police van has SMOOTH cage doors, raising questions over leaked report that says fall in paddy wagon caused catastrophic injury
    Medical examiner’s report described how Gray may have injured neck
    Theory claimed he fell forward while cuffed and hit his head on a bolt
    But specifications for the Chevrolet Express van show no such bolt
    Photographs of other Baltimore Police also contradict theory
    Gray’s spine was somehow severed while in police custody on April 12

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..njury.html
    Literally nothing in the official record is true. No bolt in the van. Van made undisclosed stops. Cops lied about the other prisoner’s story. They’re arresting witnesses and advocating for murder of protesters. This is some really sick shit.

    1. But Tulpa is still on their side, so they got that going for them.

    2. He was a thug! Clearly he broke his own neck and anyone who says otherwise is simply condoning his criminality!

      /shitstain

    3. As always, the attempted coverup only makes things worse. This may be the tipping point and we may see cops convicted and serve meaningful sentences. Probably only a token few, but it’s a start.

  16. Democrats are upset Shinzo Abe, the first Japanese prime minister to address Congress, didn’t apologize for his country’s use of comfort women during World War 2.

    I suspect they’re even more upset he didn’t apologize for not apologizing about that.

    1. +1 Meta-Apology

    2. No apology = Payback for Bush puking incident

      1. “What an ah-so!”

        1. Aso was a former PM.

  17. The second prisoner in the van where Freddie Gray sustained fatal injuries says he didn’t tell police Gray was banging his head against the van trying to hurt himself but only that he heard “a little banging.”

    You don’t become a police officer without knowing how to write a report that puts you in the best possible light.

    1. Lies by embellishment, lies by exaggeration, and lies by omission. Everything that cops say, without exception, is a lie of some sort.

  18. Democrats are upset Shinzo Abe, the first Japanese prime minister to address Congress, didn’t apologize for his country’s use of comfort women during World War 2.

    When will the democrats apologize for imposing so much stupidity on the American people?

    1. When will the Democrats apologize for slavery and Jim Crow?

      1. THOSE WERE FAKE SCANDALZZZZ!

    2. Were any American women used as comfort women? I don’t get the Dem’s point. Are they trying to bogart rape?

  19. Popbitch reveals how suicide bombers are recruited in Afghanistan

    The Moo-jahideen

    1. Was there a link to be SF’d?

      1. Bloody squirrels ate the words

        What do you do when your supply of young, wannabe suicide bombers starts to dry up? Well, the favoured tactic in rural Afghanistan is for Taliban commanders to pick out a suitable candidate and then gang-rape them. One man arrested for trying to blow up a police station told his captors that he had been raped repeatedly by local Taliban officials and was instructed to carry out the attack “to wash off his sins”.

        1. As recruitment tactics go it’s pretty grim, but what we really can’t figure out is what their colleagues in the far north-east province of Afghanistan might have been trying to achieve. An intelligence service report described a gang-rape in that region. Of cows.

          1. Fuck, now I feel bad for suicide bombers. Actual rape victims are screwed up in the head after the attack, add in their culture and how it would have raised them to see the situation, and I actually think this is one of the few people in the world who shouldn’t be held responsible for their actions. The Taliban is run by Goddamn monsters.

          2. Moo-Moo, I love you
            I know you`re a cow
            But anything will do
            Ooh-whee
            Can’t you see
            I wanna make love to you

        2. Makes sense.

        3. Next time I hear someone say everything is relative, I will use this as an example of something that is not.

        4. So, they (the Taliban) get a pass on the sodomy thing if it’s done in service of the cause?

          1. There was a fascinating article in (I believe) the Atlantic about differing views on male sexuality in that part of the world a few years back. Apparently their dividing line between gay and straight is not where we draw it. For instance, if a father catches two boys going at it, only the catcher is punished. Older men could casually comment on the beauty of young men without stigma. And in areas where western TV was prevalent, this was changing to a general condemnation of all male-male sexuality.

            I’m not sure if it’s cultural, religious, or both, but for some reason being the pitcher has much less stigma attached than being the catcher.

            1. Sounds like ancient Greece and IIRC lots of other ancient cultures. The practice is certainly not “gay” as I would understand it today, but give them a couple hundred years of more exposure to Western television and they’ll probably be arguing over baking wedding cakes too.

              1. When you say the practice is not what we call “gay”, are you referring to raping other men for Allah, as in the original story, or one of the examples I gave?

                Because some of the stuff that happens there is definitely gay, from what I read in the article. Lots of assfucking. They just look down on the receiver afterward.

                1. There’s more to being gay than assfucking.

              2. This goes on currently in US prison culture, too.

      2. Beyond awful. They really give barbarians a good name.

  20. Legislators in Texas voted unanimously to require police to obtain warrants before conducting anal and vaginal searches.

    Don’t mess with Texas’ vajj’s.

    1. Damned reactionary Teathuglican civil rights haterz in REDDUMBLANDIA!!!!!!

    2. Damn Texans. Hand off our vaginas!

      …Wait, what?

    3. “Legislators in Texas voted unanimously to require police to obtain warrants before conducting anal and vaginal searches.”

      Actually, that doesn’t go nearly far enough.

      Nobody who isn’t a trained/certified doctor should be sticking their hands up anyone’s anus/vag. That includes cops, customs agents, etc.

      1. Way to other the kinky community, Copernicus.

        1. I guess I should have inserted a “against their will” clause in there somewhere.

          1. What you did there, I see it.

      2. I’m sure they use real doctors. Maybe the same ones who conduct executions.

      3. So, third base is out!

  21. Legislators in Texas voted unanimously to require police to obtain warrants before conducting anal and vaginal searches.

    Affirmative consent. Coming to a campus court house near you.

    1. Legislators in Texas voted unanimously to require police to obtain warrants before conducting anal and vaginal searches.
      .
      You don’t want to consent to an anal search? Fine, but the law doesn’t say anything about urethral searches, now does it? Guess what you’re going to get.

  22. Ikea: Where Relationships Go to Die?

    Marital experts say IKEA-fueled relationship discord is a real phenomenon. “It’s a lightning rod for relationships,” California psychologist Ramani Durvasula tells Yahoo Makers. She says each of IKEA’s tastefully decorated room displays is a potential argument waiting to happen: The kitchen (“Who cooks dinner?”); the bedroom (“We don’t have sex enough!”); the office (“I don’t think you should work at home!”); the dining room (“How come we have to have your parents over for dinner all the time?”); the living room (“How come our living room isn’t clean?”); and the nursery (“How come we don’t have kids yet?”).

    “You get to go through every minefield of the relationship by the time you’re done,” says Durvasula.

    Cheryl Arutt, also a California-based psychologist, agrees. “The dynamics that couples fight about are quite literally on display at IKEA,” she says. And when a couple goes through stress, an argument often follows

    “Being in the store is only 50 percent of the problem,” says Durvasula. “Now you’ve got to get this damn thing in your car. Then you’ve got to build it.

    1. Government should step in and do something. It should ban IKEA (please?) or at least require trigger warnings.

    2. California psychologist Ramani Durvasula … says each of IKEA’s tastefully decorated room displays is a potential argument waiting to happen

      California psychologist Ramani Durvasula sounds deeply disturbed.

    3. If these idiots think Ikea is responsible for this, they need to watch Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House. The movie is almost 70 years old, and it’s still funny because it’s true.

      1. “If you ain’t shopping at Ikea, you ain’t”… wait, how does that go?

  23. President Obama has decided to locate his presidential library in Chicago.

    Hopefully not this weekend, traffic is a bear with the draft in town.

    1. I’m more than halfway to my likely death, and I still don’t know what the fuck a presidential library is.

        1. Exactly. I think it contains records from his time in the White House and displays of mementos n’ shit.

          My mom and I tried to go to the Clinton library on a stop on a road trip. We decided not to go in because it was very crowded and cost around $25/person to get in, and because who gives a fuck about that stuff?

  24. President Obama has decided to locate his presidential library in Chicago.

    Library gets hit by crossfire from an inter-gang gunfight in 3.. 2.. 1…

    1. I’m sure Joe Andriacchi is going to make sure the library can withstand small arms fire. They don’t call him “The Builder” for nothing.

  25. Want to fulfill a childhood fantasy and be on TV? Well now you can with Hillary Duff’s Tinder dating reality TV show!

    Hilary Duff is filming her dating exploits set up through Tinder, with an eye on a possible future reality show, TMZ reported.

    The 27-year-old actress — who filed for divorce in February from her husband of three years, former New York Islander star Mike Comrie — recently copped to swiping at least nine potential suitors on the dating app.

    Sources told the gossip site that Duff went on one date with one of them at a pizzeria — with cameras in tow.

    TMZ also reported that Duff also had a date in a bowling alley earlier in the week, also filmed, but that may have actually been her reunion with former “Lizzie McGuire” co-stars Jake Thomas and Miranda Sanchez.

    The new report comes days after Duff told a radio station that she’s been trying out Tinder to find love as a newly-divorced mom.

    That’ll end well.

    1. former “Lizzie McGuire” co-stars Jake Thomas and Miranda Sanchez

      Uh, Miranda Sanchez was one of the characters on the show.

  26. The leaders of the only organized progressive effort to support Bernie Sanders’ candidacy for president would prefer if Elizabeth Warren ran instead.

    If you support Sanders, you are a sexist obviously.

  27. President Obama has decided to locate his presidential library in Chicago.

    If it’s not on land they bought from Valerie Jarrett at an inflated price I’ll be very disappointed.

  28. Spot the Not: Facts about the island nation of Nauru

    1. Its economy was entirely dependent on bird poop.

    2. It used to be the richest nation on earth.

    3. The national sport is lassoing birds in flight.

    4. It invested millions of dollars on a failed musical about Leonardo Da Vinci

    5. The last king of Nauru died after being stuck to his throne for 2 years.

    6. Nauruans are the most obese people on earth.

    1. Number 5

    2. Ima go with #3.

    3. 5

      1. Don’t know about the richest, but it conceivably could have been, per capita, because it has a small population and was crazy wealthy from phosphate, until the Government invested it in stupid schemes. Now they’re so skint they’ve hosted detention centres for Australia and become a tax haven and money laundering hotspot

        1. I’m going to be honest, I had no idea this place existed. Thanks for the info.

    4. 5 is the Not, although there was an obese man who died after spending 2 years in a chair.

  29. Bill Hillary & Chelsea Clinton Foundation

    Charity Navigator:

    Why isn’t this organization rated?

    We had previously evaluated this organization, but have since determined that this charity’s atypical business model can not be accurately captured in our current rating methodology. Our removal of The Clinton Foundation from our site is neither a condemnation nor an endorsement of this charity. We reserve the right to reinstate a rating for The Clinton Foundation as soon as we identify a rating methodology that appropriately captures its business model.

    1. “”””that appropriately captures its business model”””

      The business model is to stuff the maximum amount of money into the Clintons and their cronies pockets as possible.

      1. Who evaluates money laundering operations?

        Maybe I should start a little non-profit (haha) to do that. Drug lords and politicians could pay me to provide ratings for various offshore and domestic money laundering systems.

    2. I don’t even blame them. This isn’t their fight, and saying anything will just get them pillared by one side or the other. Best to wait until the election is over and Hillary is out of the public eye (if she wins wait until she’s served her term).

  30. Spot the Not: strange facts

    1. The inventor of Sea Monkeys was a neo-Nazi.

    2. Howard Hughes actually tested whether a million monkeys with a million typewriters would write Shakespeare.

    3. First cousin marriage is legal in 18 states.

    4. John Quincy Adams nearly authorized an expedition to the center of the earth to

    establish relations with Mole People.

    5. James Audobon killed all the birds he painted.

    6. A con man once sold the Eiffel Tower twice.

    1. #2. A million monkeys? Sure. A million typewriters? No way.

    2. #2. A million monkeys? Sure. A million typewriters? No way.

      1. And just one squirrel…

    3. Imma say 2

    4. 2 is the Not, although monkeys have been given computers to see if they will type anything. In one experiment, a monkey typed several pages consisting entirely of the letter s. Another monkey examined the computer carefully before pissing on it and smashing it with a rock.

      http://www.theguardian.com/uk/…..ience.arts

      4 is absolutely true is my favorite fact about US history.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H…..th_century

      1. So, shreek is actually a monkey.

  31. Manhattan Bloodletting Fetish Party Criticized Over Health Concerns

    Photos from inside the edgy, recurring party called Cirque de Plaisir seem to show a fetish practice called “arterial tapping,” whereby a dominant partner taps a submissive partner’s artery, controlling his or her blood flow. It appears that very blood is sometimes sprayed over a canvas as art. … Another ad for the party promises a demonstration of “scrotal inflation,” a practice whereby saline is injected to make a man’s scrotum many times larger.

    All this for only $50!

    1. God I need a safeword just to read that paragraph.

    2. Make sure you send pics

  32. History rewritten. Almost got me yelling at my computer.

    1. That was pretty derpy.

  33. Democrats are upset Shinzo Abe, the first Japanese prime minister to address Congress, didn’t apologize for his country’s use of comfort women during World War 2.

    “Armed conflicts have always made women suffer the most. In our age, we must realize the kind of world where finally women are free from human rights abuses,” Abe said.

    What kind of feminist newthink bullshit is that? 350,000 American women served in the Armed Forces during World War II and 16 were killed in action. That leaves the other 407,000 military deaths up to men.

    Entire generations of men are wiped out to fight these wars.

    1. I think they’re talking about how rapey the Japanese army was.

      You don’t hear as much about how rapey the Red Army was in Central Europe.

      1. You don’t hear as much about how rapey the Red Army was in Central Europe.

        Well the Red Army didn’t rape noble savages or oppressed minorities. They raped whites, and Nazi white women no less, so they had it coming in that worldview.

        1. All the women in Germany were Nazis? Good to know.

          1. in that worldview.

            Good to derp.

    2. “Entire generations of men are wiped out to fight these wars.”

      Yes, but that’s the fault of their penises. Women don’t have penises, so it’s unfair they should suffer.

    3. Don’t you know that the primary victims of men’s deaths are women? Check your privilege!

  34. Bernie Sanders is a socialist, but that’s okay

    Sanders doesn’t shrink from the label socialist but he generally identifies himself as a democratic socialist. The distinction matters.

    Democratic socialism, as generally conceived in the U.S., is a milder, more aspirational form of the ideology. Democratic socialists might not recoil at the thought of government running large industries, but they don’t actively pursue that goal. Instead, they focus on decidedly less radical objectives — like making the welfare state more generous, giving workers more power, limiting the influence of money on politics and policing the practices of business more closely.

    You can see that agenda in the initiatives Sanders has proposed and the causes he has championed. He’s a longtime supporter of universal health care in what some would say is its purest form: A single-payer system, in which the government provides insurance directly rather than subsidizing private insurers. He’s called for making taxpayer-funded child care available to all parents, right up through kindergarten. He supports breaking up the big banks and imposing a carbon tax to slow climate change. He opposes trade deals, including the proposed Trans-Pacific Partnership, that lack what he considers adequate protection for labor. And he supports the public financing of campaigns for federal office.

    1. Democratic socialists profess themselves accountable to the voters, so in theory they will be willing to accept defeats at the polls without waging a coup if they lose.

      That’s the key difference – their stupidity is theoretically curable without violent anti-socialist revolution.

      1. That’s the key difference – their stupidity is theoretically curable without violent anti-socialist revolution.

        Which is dangerous. Kings and monarchs always had the Sword of Damocles hanging over their head to inspire good behavior. I don’t think it’s any coincidence that the tremendous rise in government power, taxation, central banking and destructiveness of modern warfare all came under the auspices of supposedly peaceful democratic governments and ideologies.

    2. I’m a socialist, and I’m OK
      I tax all night and I nationalize all day
      On Wednesdays I go shopping
      And drink the blood of the exploiters for tea

    3. I’m starting to fear for my future.

    4. So, he’s a lazy, unambitious socialist?

    5. I still don’t like the sound of them democratic concentration camps.

    6. Its like he has combined every single economically-illiterate and failed monetary idea that has EVER been tried…. and LEARNED NOTHING. Jesus, what do you say to someone THIS impervious to logic, education, experience and history?

      1. What do you say to him? How about “have some cake.”

        1. But does he want cake?

          1. But does he want cake?

            He will once the government passes an individual mandate.

          2. They all do. They all want cake.

      2. Yes, his economics are moronic. Still if forced to choose I would pick Sanders over Rubio, Bush, Santorum, Huckabee, Clinton, Warren, Christie, and it would be close with Cruz.

        It really is a sad state when an open Socialist is one of the 4 or 5 best presidential candidates we have.

  35. Anybody want some Supportasses or underproppers?

    1. I wouldn’t mind a rebato, i suppose

    1. The first time a drone falls out of the sky and clunks someone in the head will be another date which shall live in infamy.

  36. Spot the Not: weird diseases

    1. Erupting Skeleton Disease

    2. Black Hairy Tongue Disease

    3. Walking Corpse Syndrome

    4. Water Allergy

    5. Jumping Frenchman Syndrome

    6. Jerusalem Syndrome, which causes sufferers to believe they are the Messiah

    1. Imma say 3…

    2. 5

    3. When do we get the answers?

    4. 1 is the Not.

      “What you is Bonos Erruptos , it’s a terrible disorder where the skeleton tries to leap out the mouth and escape the body.”

      -Dr Nick

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/J…..n_of_Maine

      1. “What you have is…”

  37. “Democrats are upset Shinzo Abe, the first Japanese prime minister to address Congress, didn’t apologize for his country’s use of comfort women during World War 2.”

    Do they get angry every time Saudi Arabian diplomats fail to apologize for their country’s current
    execution of gays?

    The Japanese seem to get a disproportionate amount of shit for their behavior 70 years ago given what’s actually going on in the world currently.

    Also, why would we even expect him to apologize for Japanese sex slavery in the 40’s? Did someone bring the topic up and he made excuses or are they inexplicably upset he himself didn’t bring up the issue of wartime rape ex nihilo for the express purpose of apologizing? That would be like if an American president gave a speech and people got pissed that he didn’t start the speech off by apologizing for slavery.

    1. It’s Chinese and possibly Korean foreign interests who are making the stink. They pay US Democratic senators money to be upset about this.

    2. IIRC the Japanese made a formal apology for that over 10 years ago. What’s messed up is that segment of the Democrat base that’s pushing for this believe that Abe is some far right nut. He isn’t. The LDP hasn’t gone all nutbag leftist like the Dems, but it’s economic policy is about as Keynesian as you can get and the social welfare net is completely woven into the society.

      1. How could anyone believe Shinzo Abe is rightwing? That makes no sense. Krugman was trumpeting his virtues to the heavens in the months after his election.

        1. The expat community here is filled with people who think Abe is right wing. It’s more about how the LDP has been in almost continuous power for the past forty years and given Japan is supposedly a patriarchal society (it actually is not) it must therefore be rightwing.

    3. Shinzo Abe should have stood in front on Congress wearing rags with dirt smeared across his face. Then the emotional impulse of the Democrats would have assumed that the Japanese are the oppressed people who need someone to apologize to them. But in any case the Japanese should feel honored that the Democrats are sharing their white guilt with them.

  38. Larry Flynt endorses Hillary Clinton

    Larry Flynt is ready for Hillary.

    “I’m endorsing Hillary Clinton for president, but I don’t think she needs my endorsement,” he told Bloomberg Politics’ John Heilemann, according to a report published Friday.
    Story Continued Below

    The man behind the Hustler publishing empire, who has long endorsed Democratic candidates, said the Supreme Court’s future makeup is what motivates him to back the former secretary of state in 2016.

    “They wind up making the rules that everybody else lives by, and we’ve had a right-leaning court for half a century,” he said. “If Hillary gets in, chances are she’s going to have an opportunity to appoint two, maybe three justices to the court, and we could shift the balance there.”

    Flynt said he knows that politicians like Clinton generally like to stay away from associating with him, and he said it does not bother him. Asked what feminist supporters might think of his endorsement, Flynt said he was sure Clinton does not approve of a lot of what he does for a living.

    “Hillary doesn’t need no help from me,” he said. “All she needs to do is start fighting back” against “Clinton Cash” author Peter Schweizer, he added, comparing Schweizer’s book to what Jerry Falwell did against her husband in the 1990s.

    Democrats are more likely to ruin porn than Republicans, IMO.

    1. *Porn music plays in the background*

      Before we start, let’s discuss and document what we are actually going to do here.

    2. “I don’t think she needs my endorsement”

      “In fact, I bet she would just as soon not get my public endorsement at all. And she wants my campaign contributions laundered so they can’t be traced back to me.”

    3. So Larry Flynt wants higher incarceration rates and greater limits on 1A. Odd. I didn’t have Larry penned as a statist piece of shit before now. Has he changed in his old age?

      1. He fought a major lawsuit for 1A rights back in the 70s. All the way to the Supreme Court, I think. I guess back then the SoConz were the main enemies of freedom, and he hasn’t updated his political preferences since.

        1. Maybe that bullet froze his brain in a bygone era.

    4. Democrats are more likely to ruin porn than Republicans, IMO.

      But are they more likely to protect the print porn industry from the internet porn industry?

      1. Net Neutrality FTW?

  39. 6th Grader Gives President Obama a Tougher Interview Than the Actual Media Would Ever Dare

    “Mr. President, let’s move on to the next question,” is not something you hear that often in Washington, especially not on friendly panel discussions. But Osman Yahya is not your typical presidential interviewer; he’s a sixth-grader.

    President Obama sat down with a group of students Thursday to talk about a new initiative to get more kids to read, but the Maryland middle schooler stole the show with a brisk demeanor and pointed questions. His decision to cut off one of Obama’s characteristically long-winded answers won plaudits on social media.

    When a student asked Obama to explain how he gets writer’s block, Yahya asked him to first explain what writer’s block is. When a second-grade class asked the president whether he enjoyed reading, Yahya pointed out that the president had already answered that question and moved along to the next question. When the president began to wax poetic about his love for reading, Osman stopped him. “I think you’ve sort of covered everything about that question,” said Yahya, a student at Bennett Middle School in Salisbury, Md.

    L?se majest

    1. He’ll never make it in modern journalism.

    2. “Osman Yahya’s Parents Face IRS Scrutiny”

      1. He’s got a muslim name. So it should be:

        “Osman Yahya to be added to the Drone Kill Matrix upon majority”

        1. Last I checked they’re not that stressy about drone-striking minors.

        2. Yahya, by the way, is the Turkish variant of the name ‘John’ .

          Osman, is incidentally, the founding sultan of the Ottoman empire.

          It’s a kick ass name.

    3. Maybe some journalists will notice the praise this kids gets and try to emulate. Seriously you don’t get on tv without having a massive ‘love me’ complex going. Most interviewers would crawl over broken glass for better ratings. If they get it in their head that behaving like this kids will get them praise they’ll probably do it.

  40. George Soros May Face a Monster Tax Bill

    A New York-based money manager such as Soros would be subject to a federal rate of 39.6 percent, combined state and city levies totaling 12 percent, and an additional 3.8 percent tax on investment income to pay for Obamacare, according to Andrew Needham, a tax partner at Cravath, Swaine & Moore. Applying those rates to Soros’s deferred income would create a tax bill of $6.7 billion.

    1. Love it! proggie hero!!

      1. Then he will no doubt be HAPPY to pay his fair share, RIGHT?!?!?! Just like the crew of felons over at MSNBC, right?

        1. Yeah, I’m sure he will take no steps at all to try to shelter as much of his wealth as possible from the taxman.

      2. The proggies won’t be satisfied until Soros the Capitalist Pig sticks his neck into the guillotine for the Greater Good.

        1. No way – he’s one of them. He says the Right Things. Intentions, not actions.

    2. Suck a dick, Weigel!

      1. One step ahead of you…

    1. Unfortunately, I got a video error. What happened in that video?

      1. Cops (at one point, like 5 of them) detain a guy open carrying a rifle for 20 minutes claiming it needs to be unloaded. I’ll see if there’s a Youtube.

    2. “We’re telling you it has to be unloaded.”

      At least they’re upfront about how laws don’t matter.

      1. “You show me where it’s written that says you can (carry a loaded weapon) do that”. Ok that video when from half derp to full derp.

        1. The payoff at the end is nice, though. Bustos looks like he swallowed a frog, and he’s got the flop sweat.

  41. Tesla Launches Batteries for Homes, Businesses, Utilities

    “Our goal here is to fundamentally change the way the world uses energy,” Musk said at an event Thursday at the company’s design studio in Hawthorne, California. “We’re talking at the terawatt scale. The goal is complete transformation of the entire energy infrastructure of the world.”

    1. “The goal is complete stuffing of my pockets with subsidies”

  42. New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie Political Ally David Wildstein to Plead Guilty in Bridge Probe, Sources Say

    The corruption probe that started with unannounced closings of access lanes at the George Washington Bridge in 2013 has, according to some, all but hobbled Christie as he seeks the GOP presidential nomination in 2016.

    1. I think sucking Obama’s dick after that hurricane did him more damage than any bridge. Even still, the bridge is just one little thing, Hilary eats scandals like that for breakfast and she’s still on track as the presumptive nominee.

    2. It took that long to find a fall guy?

  43. Aetna to pay lowest paid workers $16/hr:

    http://n.pr/1JFHd5A

  44. How the Clintons used their foundation money in a chart:

    http://www.trevorloudon.com/20…..y-in-2013/

    1. I thought it was satire at first. Who-wee, that woman smells to high heaven!

  45. “Women, minorities to benefit as SF minimum wage rises”

    Yes, with an amazing lack of self-awareness, the SF Chron used that headline on an opinion piece which landed on the front page of the paper version:
    http://www.sfchronicle.com/bay…..ate-result

    1. “Women, minorities Robots and their programmers to benefit as SF minimum wage rises”

      1. As it happens, SF will probably be cited as an example of where the M/W “worked”, when it really did nothing of the sort.
        SF’s lowest market wage by now is probably higher than the new M/W, since the tech boom has pretty much meant employment for anyone who can fog a mirror, competing-up the labor costs. And it was barely a 10% increase.
        Oakland, OTOH, pushed it something like 25% or so, and it’s shutting down quite a few marginal jobs.
        “San Francisco: We’re Not Oakland!”

          1. There were at least two quotes in that article where they said “We’re in favor of a minimum wage in principle, but…..”

            I do not think “principle” means what they think it means.

            1. “I do not think “principle” means what they think it means.”

              Agreed. They’re in favor of what it would mean if unicorns trod the soil.

        1. –“SF’s lowest market wage by now is probably higher than the new M/W, since the tech boom has pretty much meant employment for anyone who can fog a mirror, competing-up the labor costs. And it was barely a 10% increase.”–

          This is the thing morons never realize. The reason why previous minimum wage increases never really had much impact on jobs is because minimum wage increases happened so infrequently that for about 80% of the population the local market minimum wage was already higher than the new higher legal minimum and so the number of jobs impacted by the new minimum were negligible.

          Now however we just had a rather large increase of almost 50% a couple of years ago and they are pushing to double it to $15 per hour. The problem with that is that $15 per hour would be a raise for somewhere around 15% of all jobs in the US.

          There is no way such a move would not kill millions of jobs

      2. IoT programmers too.

        Quick serve restaurant owners will now invest in more remote monitoring solutions. Not only to automate processes, but also to ensure that the workers actually do what they are told to do.

        Higher minimum wages always lead to more of these QSR owners looking for new ways to protect their margins.

        I wrote and app for a big chain several years ago to ensure that the kids were filtering the fryer oil every shift. The solution worked great in the lab. We did our first pilot in the field and it worked like shit. No filters were ever registered. The owner told us our app was crap because that was his best store and they always followed the rules.

        After several technicians went on site and replaced the gear and nothing changed we had a spy go watch the crew. Turns out the app was absolutely accurate. The problem was that the kids NEVER filtered the oil. After showing the owner, he fired a bunch of them and the app started working.

    2. This should be the real Democrats’ campaign agenda:

      $20.16 for 2016!

  46. Derpy article with derpy comments.

    The article indciates that the author lives in an over-privileged bubble and has never really met anyone who lived with the boot of socialist regimes on their throats.

    Bernie Sanders Is A Socialist And That’s Not As Crazy As It Sounds

    1. Jesus, man, look upthread!!!

      1. Oops. 🙂

    2. Bernie Sanders is a Socialist

      News at 11.

  47. Microsoft facial recognition tells you how old you look.

    According to Microsoft, the How-Old program uses “state-of-the-art cloud-based face algorithms” to estimate gender and age.

    heh. estimate gender

    1. That fuckin thing told me I was 61! Then I posted another pic and it told me I was 34, which is cool.

      1. I got three years off – for good behavior?

        1. For boring behavior.

        2. Trying unnarrowing that gaze and see what it gets you.

  48. “Democrats are upset Shinzo Abe, the first Japanese prime minister to address Congress, didn’t apologize for his country’s use of comfort women during World War 2.”

    Fuck off.

    1. tl;dr version – “Not fair!”

      Fuck off, slaver.

      1. They really seem to hate Uber. It’s a smart idea that benefits riders and drivers. No one is being forced to drive for Uber, if they don’t like the rules they can quit. The comments, of course are ridiculous. One person was complaining because they expect them to provide good customer service.

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