A.M. Links: Mitt Romney Says Clinton Uranium Affair Looks Like Bribery, Saudi Airstrikes in Yemen Continue, New York Mets Look for 12th Straight Win

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  • justin.parmelee/flickr

    Mitt Romney said the donation from a uranium company to the Clinton Foundation at around the same time Hillary Clinton approved a uranium sale involving the company when she was secretary of state looked like bribery.

  • Today is Armenian genocide remembrance day. Turkey's president, Recep Erdogan, says his country's ancestors never engaged in genocide. Never?
  • Saudi Arabia conducted more airstrikes in Yemen despite United Nations-sponsored talks being preconditioned on a stop to Saudi Arabia's bombing campaign.
  • Al Shabaab took responsibility for the assassination of a senior Somali military official in Mogadishu this week.
  • A group of Native American extras and cultural advisors reportedly walked off the set of Adam Sandler's new Netflix movie, The Ridiculous Six, over jokes they perceived as racist and sexist.
  • A new book about Peter Bagge collects 26 years worth of interviews with the cartoonist and Reason contributing editor.
  • The New York Mets  go to Yankee Stadium for their first interleague game of the season, looking for a franchise record 12th consecutive win.

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  1. Today is Armenian genocide remembrance day.

    Unlike every other, which is Ignorance Day.

    1. Hello.

      Micro-aggression of the day:

      http://bit.ly/1DH47kW

      1. Reminds me of the bumper sticker:

        “If we’re not supposed to eat animals,
        then why are they made out of meat?”

        1. “I’m a vegetarian, once removed. I only eat things that eat vegetables.”

          1. Sounds like a Woody Allen joke.

            1. “I’m my wife’s father, once removed. I only have sex with adopted offspring.”

              That’s not a Woody Allen joke.

          2. I’ve found occasion to tell people having a salad for lunch:

            “That’s not food. That’s what food eats.”

      2. Nice. Personally, I prefer Fava Beans. and a kee-an-tea

        1. Have you seen the Census Taker? He’s been missing and was last seen in your neighborhood.

      3. There’s a term in naturalism for vegetarians/vegans: prey.

    2. I make up to $90 an hour working from my home. My story is that I quit working at Walmart to work online and with a little effort I easily bring in around $40h to $86h? Someone was good to me by sharing this link with me, so now i am hoping i could help someone else out there by sharing this link… Try it, you won’t regret it!……
      http://www.work-cash.com

  2. A group of Native American extras and cultural advisors reportedly walked off the set of Adam Sandler’s new Netflix movie, The Ridiculous Six, over jokes they perceived as racist and sexist.

    Don’t worry, no one’s going to watch it anyway.

    1. Eventually they’ll scrub this scene from Seinfeld one day:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpGfyp6MxkM

    2. We were supposed to be Apache, but it was really stereotypical and we did not look Apache at all. We looked more like Comanche,” he explained to Indian Country Today Media Network.

      Oh hell no they didn’t

    3. In Total Recall, Arnold calls himself an “Indian giver.” Of course, he’s in bad-guy mode when he says that.

      I mean, spoiler alert.

      1. The phrase “Indian giver” isn’t a slur against Indians, though. An Indian giver was originally a white man who gave gifts to the natives and then seized them back by force.

        1. Hmmm…I didn’t know that.

          1. MURICAN HISTORY, SON.

        2. That’s what I used to think as well.

          “Native Americans, without a system monetary currency, conducted trade via barter. To an Indian, the giving of gifts was an extension of this system of trade and a gift was expected to be reciprocated with something of equal value. Europeans, upon encountering this practice, misunderstood it, considering it uncouth and impolite. To them, trade was conducted with money and gifts were freely given with nothing expected in return. So this native practice got a bad reputation among the white colonists of North America and the term eventually became a playground insult.”

          http://www.wordorigins.org/ind…..ian_giver/

          1. So they practiced the gebo principle. Gebo is a rune meaning “gift”, but it looks like “X”, which symbolizes exchange.

    4. no true Indian…

    5. Incorrect. You and I likely will not see it, but Adam Sandler mints money. Grown Ups 2 grossed a quarter-billion dollars. Blended grossed $127 million. And even Jack and Jill grossed $150 million.

      So, yeah, considering that Sandler in drag brought in that much money… plenty of people will see this.

      1. Who are these people who pay to be abused? Who knew there were so many masochists in this world.

        1. I liked The Wedding Singer and The Waterboy

          1. If we’re reaching 10+ years back, then I liked Happy Gilmore and Anger Management a good bit.

        2. The original Grown Ups was surprisingly OK, especially for a family comedy. And the au pair was hot.

          That being said, I’ve made it a personal mission not to judge people’s tastes in movies/music/TV/books too harshly, and have become increasingly impatient with those that do.

          1. I’d crack a joke about your sense of humor, but I’m worried you might think I was picking on Sandler some more.

            1. Way to miss the point.

              1. No, I got your point, I’m just curious about what made you turn on people who have strong negative opinions about certain content creators.

                1. It’s about the obnoxiousness of people jockeying for social status by self-consciously declaring “I Don’t Like Cultural Artifact X”, and the sheer douchiness of shouting people down for having the temerity to have different tastes.

                  1. And mind you, it’s not having “strong negative opinions about certain content creators” that’s at issue. It’s one thing to say “I really don’t care for this creator’s work”; it’s another thing to say (paraphrasing) “People who consume this creator’s work are masochists”.

                    1. -ish; as mentioned above, “I really don’t care for this creator’s work” can reach obnoxious levels of signalling.

                    2. I really don’t care for your posts, level checker, but that’s only because I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And doggone it, people like me.

                    3. – I hope you took that for the jest it was, Carl.

                    4. Yeah, I got it.

      2. Obligatory. The Red Letter Media fellows posit that Sandler’s work product is just a fraud scheme.

        http://redlettermedia.com/half…..-and-jill/

      3. I imagine some Data Scientist at Netflix, a computer prodigy who studied his ass off at Stanford and Princeton, asked to find the star who will deliver the most profits/salary. The answer the computer spits out is … Adam Sandler.

        The Data Scientist checks carefully for bugs, he runs the program several times and there is no mistake: the answer is Adam Sandler.

        Realizing he has wasted his entire life, but conscientious, he reports his findings to Netflix management, then goes home and puts a shotgun between his knees.

      4. I’m convinced that Sandler has a running bet with someone in the industry since about 2000 that he would make the stupidest, most banal movies he possibly could and he’d still make buckets of cash.

        1. I would believe it.

  3. Wisconsin church ends pig wrestling after advocates raise stink

    A four-decade tradition of people mud-wrestling pigs at a Wisconsin church’s summer fundraiser has been halted after 81,000 people signed an online petition pressed by animal rights activists who raised concerns about animal abuse.

    The “Original Pig Rassle” will be replaced this August after 44 years by a human mud foosball tournament, St. Patrick’s Parish in Stephensville, Wisconsin, said in a statement.

    “We are simply doing something different this year … we are simply moving in a different direction,” Deacon Ken Bilgrien said Wednesday.

    1. This year it’s the hog slaughter and bar-b-que.

    2. Replace it with an old-fashioned country buffet. They’ll have plenty of ham and bacon.

    3. Never mud wrestle with pig. Both of you get dirty, but the pig likes it.

    4. Human mud foosball?

      That sounds like a blast.

      1. Huh, the pig really does like it.

      2. BUUUTTTPPLLUUUUGGG

        We already know how much you love blasts of human mud, dude.

  4. No autoplay today, let’s celebrate

  5. A group of Native American extras and cultural advisors reportedly walked off the set of Adam Sandler’s new Netflix movie, The Ridiculous Six, over jokes they perceived as racist and sexist.

    It’s their own fault for walking on it in the first place.

  6. Meanwhile in Australia:

    Farmer ordered to take down ‘offensive’ hay bale sculpture

    A farmer who built a hay bale sculpture of a bull having sex with a cow has refused to take it down after police told him he could be charged with ‘publishing pornographic images’.

    Bruce Cook, who owns Kactus Point Charolais near Kerang, Australia, built the sculpture on Good Friday as ‘a bit of fun’ but was ordered by police to take it down after someone complained that they found it offensive.

    Mr. Cook flatly refused the order, however, telling the police officer to ‘p*** off’ and saying he will now light up the sculpture at night so passers-by can see it for longer and more clearly. He is also considering adding calves to the sculpture.

    1. He is also considering adding calves to the sculpture.

      Wouldn’t that escalate the charge to child porn?

    2. That’s hilarious!

      *** wipes tears ***

    3. The farmer’s response is wonderful.

    4. He should claim it’s sex education.

    5. Mr. Cook flatly refused the order, however, telling the police officer to ‘p*** off’ and saying he will now light up the sculpture at night so passers-by can see it for longer and more clearly.

      God bless ya, Bruce. You’re one hell of a guy.

      1. Also he raises Charolais, a beast I have an irrational affection for, so he’s officially a top bloke

        1. “a beast I have an irrational affection for”

          go on…

          1. They’re just gorgeous and rather placid as they sit on their enormous arses in the cattle pavilion at the Royal Easter Show, quietly basking on our amazement. Also they didn’t try to eat my finger, unlike the cheeky fucking turkey that extended its neck through the bars of the cage behind me to attack me. My friend said it probably thought my finger was the biggest worm in the world. Never turn your back on a caged turkey. I’ll have the last laugh in December.

            1. Sounds like you should be campaigning for a November Thanksgiving to be added to Austria’s holiday calendar.

          2. The handle says it all, I think..

    6. Mr. Cook flatly refused the order, however, telling the police officer to ‘p*** off’

      My nigga.

  7. She thought it was really dishonest that we said some of our sandwiches were vegetarian or vegan when they contained cucumber. The dishwasher was confused and said that cucumbers were vegetables. The first woman disagreed, “No, they’re animals. They live in the sea.”

    More entertaining restaurant tales here

    1. How stoned were those restaurant workers?

  8. “Do you like puppies?”

    I have a puppy in my van

    1. The marionette won’t fall for that

  9. …Hillary Clinton approved a uranium sale involving the company when she was secretary of state looked like bribery.

    In other news, the sky looks blue.

    1. “Looked like” is the problem, there is no way to prove it. Hand waving will follow.

      1. Funny though, for low-level government employees the rule is ‘if it looks unethical, it is’. And that’s not just a rule of thumb to work by – its a legally binding principle.

        1. Yep. Virtually no one seems to understand that except those of us who have worked for government contractors.

  10. HSBC apologises after web link takes online customers to porn site

    HSBC has apologised after learning that a link on its official website was directing visitors to a pornographic site.

    Those accessing the page for HSBC’s defunct Young Entrepreneur Awards ? originally displayed in a section of hsbc.com.hk ? would be surprised or embarrassed to find a site showing images of women in provocative poses or having sex.

    The awards were scrapped in 2011 and the porn site took over the address after organisers allowed its registration to expire.

    1. Young Entrepreneur Awards? Porn site?

      I don’t see the problem.

  11. Do you need a goon to deliver a beating? The Chinese have an app for that

    1. In the US, you just call 911 for that.

      1. +1 SWAT-ing

      2. Barca it is!

        1. Not that the semi was going to be easy in any case. At least Bayern get the home leg second.

          1. As long as it’s not an all Spanish final. I think for Juve Real was probably the team they match up best against. I don’t think they can beat Bayern or Barca over two legs. But they have a good track record against Real. But Real are the favorites for sure.

            Europa draws were made as well.

            Sevilla-Fiorentina will be a good one.

    2. Ironically it seems the Red Chinese are at the forefront of testing the practice of libertarian theory.

  12. Mitt Romney said the donation from a uranium company to the Clinton Foundation at around the same time Hillary Clinton approved a uranium sale involving the company when she was secretary of state looked like bribery.

    and how this is treated will tell you all that’s needed to be known about principles vs. principals, and Team tribalism.

    1. Probably an email like “Hillary – approve our sale and we will send you $500,000 right away!”

      1. BUUUUTTTTPPPPLLLLUUUUUUUUGGGGG

        1. Is that the new DONDEROOOOOOOOOOOOOO?

          1. Sure, why not?

      2. and how this is treated will tell you all that’s needed to be known about principles vs. principals, and Team tribalism.

  13. ‘Now I know he loves me’: 660lb woman reveals how her husband STOPPED her from losing weight… over fears she would leave him if she slimmed

    Bettie Jo, 24, from Houston, was morbidly obese at almost 47st (660lbs)
    Husband Josh tended to her basic needs including showering and eating
    Last year she was given bariatric surgery
    Husband sabotaged her efforts to diet as still wanted to feel needed
    Relationship therapy and near death scare helped couple back on track
    With Josh’s help Bettie Jo now weighs 35st 8lbs

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..eight.html
    Talk about insecure. Holy crap.

    1. Husband Josh tended to her basic needs including showering and eating

      My first thought was…nevermind. No reason to ruin a friday morning

    2. I’m surprised you didn’t crack a John joke.

      1. Not even John likes ’em that big.

        1. …but he is flexible.

          1. When they’re that big, you have to be flexible… or you’ll get broke.

            1. John has an array of tackle and slings and reinforced steel frameworks for when a special lady comes over.

              1. So like the Black Tulip in Amsterdam?

  14. Gun-toting right-wing militiamen stoke fears of armed confrontation in Oregon: Activists gather at mine after it was closed by BLM

    Owners of Sugar Pine Mine called in armed guards to protect their claim
    Gold miners have appealed a federal stop-work order, U.S. officials said
    Tensions remain high with supporters complaining of federal overreach
    Armed guards from conservative Oath Keepers network among protesters
    Officials claim they found equipment on site indicating operations inconsistent with standard mine development requirements

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..nment.html
    This is why we need gun control.

  15. Ben Carson will head to Iowa after May 4 announcement: Ben Carson in the news

    http://www.cleveland.com/rnc-2…..owa_a.html

    The Klown Kar is filling up. Trump has put together an exploratory committee too.

    Good Times!

    1. did his spouse’s foundation take money in exchange for medical favors? Long as Hillary is the standard-bearer for the Dems, absent a genuine clown with the shoes and nose and the rest, the left has no high ground.

      1. Fuck Hil-Dog. I don’t give a shit about her.

        She voted for the Iraq War. Probably just so she could run as a “tough pro-Merica” candidate in 2008.

        I almost prefer the Bush lies about Iraq over the craven political ambition of hers.

        1. BUUUUTTTPPPLLLLUUUUGGGG, we already know you want to fuck Hil-Dog.

    2. Paging Xeones

      1. YOU’RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME

        1. No, but I am psychic

    3. BUUUUUUUTTTTTPPPLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGG

      1. Thank you for this.

        1. Somebody has to do it.

          1. Doing God’s work on some of the meanest comment threads in America!

            *raises coffee mug in salute*

  16. Superwoman in her sixties, Iron Man tucking into fast food and a pregnant Batwoman: What superheroes could look like AFTER retiring imagined in gritty photos

    Stars of Marvel and DC comics have given up fighting crime, instead grappling with life’s daily struggles
    The bleak future is imagined by Dubai-based photographer Martin Beck of Scottish and South African heritage
    Features sullen-looking ex-heroes working as mechanics and children’s party entertainers

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/fem…..iring.html

    1. Couldn’t they simply have put up photos of people like Adam West and Julie Newmar as they appear today?

      1. Gah. Julie’s a plastic surgery queen. https://twitter.com/julienewmarreal

        She was the bomb in her day.

    2. Maybe ‘bad cosplayers in their sixties/down on their luck/dirtied up for no apparent reason’ but not superheroes. There’s nothing about superheroes in that piece.

      Only people in cheap OTR costumes.

  17. The fat cat who is too heavy to walk: Sprinkles, the 33lbs rescue cat, is the equivalent of a 700-lbs human

    Sprinkles the 33-pound cat is so fat she can’t even roll over and she’s equally as fat as a 700-pound human, say rescue workers
    The neglected cat from New Jersey was handed over to the rescue agency S.O.S Sea Isle Cats by a family facing a foreclosure on their home
    Sprinkles will hopefully lose a pound a month and when she does she will be placed in a loving home
    A healthy weight for Sprinkles is around 10 pounds

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..human.html

    1. I put about 10 lbs of sprinkles on my ice cream… sounds right!

    2. What, no joke about a big pussy for John? Losing your touch there sarc…

    3. A healthy weight for Sprinkles is around 10 pounds

      Cue the alarming reports that 75% of cats are obese!!11!

    4. My parents had this cat who could barely move he was so huge. He napped and ate and that was it. Toward the end, he stopped grooming himself, and he had huge clumps in his fur. His legs looked like stumps, or the kind of stubby legs that are on a footstool. I think he was over 20 pounds.

      1. I have one that would probably be headed in that direction if it wasn’t for my other one who spends all day terrorizing the fat one and chasing her around the house.

        1. My aunt and uncle had one that wieghed 20 lbs, but he was all muscle. I think he must have been an ‘American Bobtail’, because his head was as big as a softball.

          They had a couple of rescue pitbulls, that actually ate the neighbor’s regular cat, and this cat outlived both those dogs. The cat actually lived into it’s early 20’s when it was hit by a car.

    5. When a neighbor was diagnosed with cancer last year, I started doing some grocery shopping for her. I asked her if she needed any dog food for her dog which was extremely overweight. She told me that the dog, named “doggie” natch, had never eaten dog food. When I asked her what she fed the dog her response was “Bread and butter, cereal and milk, Vienna sausages, and ice cream.”

      She passed away and I now have doggie, and I have shaved over 20 pounds off of him and he is still overweight. People are crazy when it comes to their animals.

      1. We have a very healthy pug. The vet marvels at the fact that the dog isn’t obese every time we take it in for a checkup. I don’t understand why people overfeed their animals. The animals don’t know any better, but the owners should.

  18. Let’s start today off wrong.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/scienc…..t-32399909

    Climate change: Paris ‘last chance’ for action

    Scientists are calling on world leaders to sign up to an eight-point plan of action at landmark talks in Paris.

    The key element is the goal to limit global warming to below 2C by moving to zero carbon emissions by 2050.

    The UN meeting in December is “the last chance” to avert dangerous climate change, according to the Earth League.

    Scientific evidence shows this can be achieved, but only with bold action now, says an alliance of climate researchers from 17 institutions.

    1. More fta:

      Limiting global warming to below 2 degrees Celsius

      Keeping future CO2 emissions below 1,000 gigatonnes (billion tonnes)

      Creating a zero-carbon society by 2050

      Equity of approach – with richer countries helping poorer ones

      Technological research and innovation

      A global strategy to address loss and damage from climate change

      Safeguarding ecosystems such as forests and oceans that absorb CO2

      Providing climate finance for developing countries.

      bah.

      1. moving to zero carbon emissions by 2050.

        They forgot “Reduce gravity to zero and Invent perpetual motion machine”

      2. Creating a zero-carbon society by 2050

        they didn’t think that one through, did they?

        1. Creating a zero-carbon society Human extinction by 2050

          Fixed that for them. Now it’s honest.

      3. ‘Limiting global warming to below 2 degrees Celsius’

        That’s one big Tylenol they’ll have to come up with.

      4. “Equity of approach – with richer countries helping poorer ones”

        That’s what it’s really all about.

    2. +1 Bill Nye Air Force One flight.

    3. Since it’s the last chance, does that mean they’ll shut the fuck up when we do nothing?

    1. Yeah. I posted this two days ago…Down Under girl.

      1. You only think you did

        1. ….get out of my MIND!

    2. The new slogan?

      “The Land of Rape and Sodomy”

  19. Lenin’s Body Improves with Age
    Russian scientists have developed experimental embalming methods to maintain the look, feel and flexibility of the Soviet Union’s founder’s body, which is 145 years old today

    The job of maintaining Lenin’s corpse belongs to an institute known in post-Soviet times as the Center for Scienti?c Research and Teaching Methods in Biochemical Technologies in Moscow. A core group of five to six anatomists, biochemists and surgeons, known as the “Mausoleum group,” have primary responsibility for maintaining Lenin’s remains. (They also help maintain the preserved bodies of three other national leaders: the Vietnamese leader Ho Chi Minh and the North Korean father?son duo of Kim Il-sung and Kim Jong-il, respectively.) The Russian methods focus on preserving the body’s physical form?its look, shape, weight, color, limb flexibility and suppleness?but not necessarily its original biological matter. In the process they have created a “quasibiological” science that differs from other embalming methods.

    1. Could you imagine if anybody suggested embalming Hitler’s body and putting it on public display?

      1. You know who else- eh screw it.

        1. You know who else suggested we just screw it…

              1. Applause? I think you mean Standing O…

    2. I saw that wax dummy in 1984 – all I could do not to burst out laughing. Of course the guards with AKs might have helped with that too.

    3. look, feel and flexibility

      ?_?

    4. What kind of person aspires to maintain a relic of a theoretically anti-religious creed?

  20. Meet the kangaroo who is so sure he’s a dog he even hates cats! Young roo eats, sleep and cuddles with family’s puppies after they found him on the side of a road

    Dusty the kangaroo was adopted by the Stewart family from Esperance
    The two-year-old roo now believe’s he is one of the couple’s dogs
    He rides around in the back of their truck, and sleeps and eats with them
    Dusty asks for scratches and tries to sneak dog treats when he can
    Mr Stewart said that like any other dog, Dusty is either eating or sleeping

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-road.html
    No one from the government has taken the animal away?

      1. Is this your thing today?

    1. Its Australia – the government’s too busy maintaining the wall that keeps *most* of the feral wildlife away from civilization.

      Killer Fact: In Australia, cats have evolved to become venomous.

      1. Killer Fact: In Australia, cats have evolved to become venomous.

        Link?

          1. Killer Fact: Many of the animals imported to Australia from other biomes have evolved to become venomous and show the craving for human flesh typical of native species

            That strikes me as wiki vandalism in tone. Plus the citation link gives a 404, implying it might have been an April Fools paper.

            1. The wiki said it, I believe it, that settles it.

              1. And the reference (if you looked at the bottom of the page in the footnotes) is to

                Williams, J. et al. 2001. Biodiversity, Australia State of the Environment Report 2001 (Theme Report), CSIRO Publishing on behalf of the Department of the Environment and Heritage, Canberra. ISBN 0-643-06749-3

                1. I did look. The link to that paper is what generates the 404, not the link that jumps me to the references.

                  1. I was trying to read the paper and judge the veracity of its claims. – it has thusfar not been reachable.

                    1. You know you really take the fun out of a joke.

                      You ‘win’, I guess.

                    2. I found the paper – and noticed the change date on that page – which has been reverted by the Wiki people

                      cur | prev) 14:00, 24 April 2015? Jaaron95 (talk | contribs)? . . (63,919 bytes) (-173)? . . (Reverted 1 good faith edit by [IP Redacted to protect Agammamon] using STiki) (undo)
                      (cur | prev) 13:43, 24 April 2015? [IP Redacted to protect Agammamon] (talk)? . . (64,092 bytes) (+173)? . . (undo)
                      (cur | prev) 15:00, 24 March 2015? Burklemore1 (talk | contribs)? . . (63,919 bytes) (+8)? . . (??See also) (undo)

                    3. You know you really take the fun out of a joke.

                      You ‘win’, I guess.

                      I wanted it to be real – something like a side effect of consuming the venomous locals.

                    4. It’s here and that claim sounds like utter bollocks. Certainly isn’t in the biodiversity section

                    5. I wanted it to be real because it was so absurd. But, I have to verify before I can believe something like that. That’s the only reason I hounded Agammamon on it.

      2. Cats’ mouths are so dirty they don’t need to be venomous.

        I was bit by a cat several years ago on the hand, and one of the puncture wounds on the finger went to the bone. When the redness got worse I went to see a doctor who put me on the most powerful oral antibiotics available after drawing a line on my hand with a pen. The redness marched right past the line, so they had to put me on IV antibiotics. That finally killed the infection.

        Cat bites are some serious shit.

        1. So cats are furry komodo dragons?

      3. Too bad the marsupial lion went extinct 40,000 year ago.

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marsupial_lion

        an ambush predator, either sneaking up and then leaping upon its prey, or dropping down on it from overhanging tree branches.

        Or did it?

  21. Charles Cooke at NRO doing a great job writing up the bullshit Ar-15 “controversy” on Capitol Hill…

    http://www.nationalreview.com/…..-c-w-cooke

    And why do DC pols but not residents get to have firearms. Because they are better than you, and you’ll like it!
    And of course a liberal who “supports” the Second Amendment wants to ban all ammo:

    http://www.nationalreview.com/…..-c-w-cooke

    Strange way of showing “support” for gun rights. Maybe he loves guns and hates ammo?

    1. Laws are for little people. Maybe if they actually arrested that asshat things would change for better in regards to dc gun laws.

  22. A village inside a volcano crater, cliff houses made of clay and a tiny town that lives under a rock: Are these the most magical settlements in the world?

    Some villages exist in what would be considered as inhabitable places around the world
    They have thrived by adapting to the natural surroundings and some remain hidden away from the rest of the world
    Hidden villages can be found in the middle of the Grand Canyon, in clay structures on rock faces, and underground

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tra…..world.html
    Those dugouts are pretty cool.

  23. Our climate models are WRONG: Global warming has slowed – and recent changes are down to ‘natural variability’, says study

    Duke University study looked at 1,000 years of temperature records
    It compared it to the most severe emissions scenarios by the IPCC
    Found that natural variability can slow or speed the rate of warming
    These ‘climate wiggles’ were not properly accounted for in IPCC report

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..study.html
    HERESY! BLASPHEMY! BURN THE HERETICS!

    1. “1,000 years of temperature records”

      Wut?

      1. Yeah. Didn’t you know? Monks and friars from Ireland to Padua recorded and transcribed weather temps during the Middle Ages. Except this glutton:

        http://bit.ly/1yWhAcO

        1. Given that our temperature scales were invented in the 18th century, what did they record the information in? And from what implements?

          “18 July, 1361 – it was darn hot today. No rain. Some clouds.”

          1. In ‘degrees of damnation’.

          2. IN LATIN!

            1. 30 August Anno Domini 1412 – In maledictis flammis acribus addictis. Non pluvia.

  24. ‘Come tour the home of our ancestors!’: ‘Vintage’ space tourism posters reveal a colonised solar system – and Earth in ruin

    Artist Frank McKeever from Florida created these amazing posters
    They show how we might colonise various worlds in the solar system
    Included are humans skiing on a moon and living in cities on Mars
    Others show life on Europa and near Saturn – and a destroyed Earth

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..-ruin.html

    Beautiful view of Uranus

    Isn’t that the name of a story by SugarFree?

    1. “Warty Hugeman and the Beautiful View of Uranus – A Space Opera”?

  25. The frog with an underwater SEX DUNGEON: Amphibian that likes to mate in privacy – and hide its eggs discovered

    A new species of frog has been found in the State of S?o Paulo, Brazil
    Called Hylodes japi, it was found to mate underground in secret chambers
    Males and females typically find a spot to mate in about five minutes
    And the male will cover up the eggs to protect them from predators

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..vered.html
    The Warty frog.

  26. Clint Eastwood, still a jerk: His new Michael Moore threat, and the GOP’s Fox News derangement problem

    “Everybody’s saying I threatened to kill Michael Moore,” said Eastwood. “That’s not true.”

    “It isn’t a bad idea,” he added, after a pause ? followed by nervous laughter from the audience.

    Here’s what’s crazy about this claim. First, there is proof that he did indeed threaten to kill Moore back in 2005?and the proof is not just limited to Moore’s accounting of it. It was reported in the New York Daily News two days after Eastwood made the threat.

    But hey, who wants to let a few facts get in the way of a good death threat? Eastwood follows in the footsteps of the GOP truth-challenged like Ted Cruz,Paul Ryan, Michele Bachmann and more. And this is directly tied to pro-GOP news media like Fox News, which lies nine times more often than it tells viewers the truth. Lying has simply become such a mainstay of GOP rhetoric that hardly anyone seems to care.

    1. As if Michael Moore is worth wasting a bullet on. He’s not even relevant anymore considering he hasn’t made a movie since 2009.

      Perhaps he’s afraid to criticize the Chosen One and piss off his fans.

    2. “Look, At my age, I can’t remember every fat slob I threatened to kill. There have been a lot of them, and this guy’s nothing special.”

    3. The projection is astounding.

      1. I hear liberals talk about Fox News 9 times more often than conservatives.

    4. Salon, still retarded

      1. My thought as well – plus, The New York Daily News? Really?

    5. Will that fat ass liar write an open letter to Obama for his murderous drone strikes against Americans?

      Though not.

      Because he’s a fat ass liar.

      1. Fat Ass Moore hates Obama, you idiot.

        1. BUUUUUTTTTPPPPLLLLLUUUUUGGGGGG

        2. Apparently not enough to make a movie accusing him of using the tragic events to push forward his agenda for unjust wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

          1. My point that went right over Obama lover’s head.

            1. Not difficult considering how he is constantly on his knees.

    6. But hey, who wants to let a few facts get in the way of a good death threat?

      Well, shit…If they’re that worried about a death threat from an aging actor to a cut-rate director, imagine how tore up they’re gonna be when they find out about all the death threats levelled at florists, bakers, pizza restaurateurs, fraternity members, and collegiate guest speakers!

  27. Report: Tom Brady Won’t Be Present For Patriots’ White House Trip

    Brady has attended three previous trips to the White House, in 2002, 2004 and 2005.

    The quarterback earned Super Bowl MVP honors for the third time in his career when he threw four touchdowns in a 28-24 win over the Seahawks in Super Bowl XLIX.

    There’s no reason to doubt Brady’s sincerity with the family commitment, though it is worth noting that White House press secretary Josh Earnest did lob an unprovoked attack on Brady’s truthfulness back in late January, when “DeflateGate” was a leading topic around the country.

    1. The first candidate that says he/she will end this absurd practice will get my vote.

    2. First Tim Thomas, now Tom Brady.

      Boston is racist.

    3. The general response to this on talk radio here was to note that he was the first one at OTA’s this past week. And therefore we don’t care.

      Also, Belichick wore an Armenian flag pin to the White House. He is my God.

      1. I think the real reason is pretty clear: Brady hasn’t shown himself to be a conservative, so the media doesn’t hate him with an undying passion.

  28. “Today is Armenian genocide remembrance day. Turkey’s president, Recep Erdogan, says his country’s ancestors never engaged in genocide. Never?”

    A slight quibble – the Young Turks never engaged in genocide. Neither did Hitler. Genocide is a positive-law crime established after WWII by a Genocide Treaty.

    Before that, there was such a thing as murder – and that’s what the Young Turks and Hitler committed on a huge scale.

    So let’s adopt the slogan – “it was mass murder, not genocide, you Turkophobes!”

    1. So, technically, Cain didn’t commit murder because the crime had not been named yet?

      1. Genocide is a positive-law offense – murder was always a crime notwithstanding human legislation.

    2. Learnz ze difference you ignoramuses!

    3. Nice try, GK.

      Nobody is saying that the Turks violated the Genocide Treaty when they slaughetered the Armenians.

      Rather, people are saying that what the Turks did to the Armenians fits the definition of the word genocide in common usage.

      You can apply words to things that occurred before the words were in common usage, or even invented, you know.

      Pedant fail, my notorious friend.

  29. Al Shabaab took responsibility for the assassination of a senior Somali military official in Mogadishu this week.

    America and the Jews somehow to blame.
    -Sheldon Richmann

  30. Will the Clinton-Cash Scandal Doom the Hillary’s White House Bid?

    The Clintons are like the Tudors of the Ozarks. They believe they are royalty, but they also understand that even monarchs need friends. The Clinton Foundation is the perfect vehicle for their ambition. Like the medieval Catholic Church, it blurs the lines between ideals and interests. On the one hand, it does yeoman’s work in the Church of Liberal Dogoodery, but it also provides a conduit for business interests, foreign governments, academics, activists, and journalists to gain access to the imperial court-in-waiting.

    Even if Hillary hadn’t conveniently wiped her servers clean, I suspect there wouldn’t be a lot of e-mails about quid-pro-quos. Such transactions aren’t made in the language of the bazaar, but in the lingua franca of loyalty, friendship, and noblesse oblige. Yes, Clinton Inc. needs money, but the money is likely seen more as tribute than bribery, a bit of coin offered up as a sign of loyalty to the coming Ozarkian Restoration ? a restoration that may just have to wait for Chelsea.

  31. Massive killer hornets could be heading to the UK this summer

    For years all we have had to worry about in Britain is the bumble-bee, however a far more dangerous insect might be about to invade our shores.

    Experts believe the massive ‘Asian hornets’, which have allegedly killed at least six people in France, might head across the Channel this summer.

    Thought to have travelled to France on Chinese plants imported a few years ago, the hornets are known to kill bees until they are able to swarm in and gorge on the newly deserted hive.

    1. Experts believe the massive ‘Asian hornets’, which have allegedly killed at least six people in France, might head across the Channel this summer.

      Thought to have travelled to France on Chinese plants imported a few years ago, the hornets are known to kill bees until they are able to swarm in and gorge on the newly deserted hive.

      We cannot allow a few hornet extremists to obscure the fact that the vast majority of Asian hornets are peaceful.

      Additionally, have you checked your Anglo privilege and considered how the Asian hornets must feel about the Opium Wars and unequal treaties imposed by the British imperialists?

      I say the UK authorities let the Asian hornets colonize entire sections of cities. In the name of diversity and tolerance.

    2. For years all we have had to worry about in Britain is the bumble-bee

      Who worries about bumble bees? They’re the least dangerous of all bees. I don’t even know what you’d have to do to get one to sting you, other than grab it and jab yourself with its butt. Honey bees are worse than bumble bees because they will at least defend themselves if you mess with them enough. Does the UK not have yellow jackets? That’s concentrated meanness right there.

      1. I am fairly “live and let live”. Not when it comes to hornets or yellow jackets. They must die, and they must die as soon as I can get the spray can…

      2. I inadvertently ran a lawnmower over an underground nest of bumblebees, got stung about by about ten on face and head, and was nearly blind for a week. Bumblebees aren’t as aggressive as honey bees or yellowjackets, but they aren’t pacifists and their sting has a punch.

    3. Always something from Asia, isn’t it, you fucking racists?

      1. Well, the Africanized Bees headed for the Americas.

    4. The X-Files was ahead of its time.

  32. In other micro aggression news…Trigger warning…

    Dr. Oz is a shameless asshole:

    http://money.cnn.com/2015/04/2…..index.html

    1. He had Jenny McCarthy on and didn’t rip her a new one. Fuck Mr. Oz.

      1. “Dr. Oz”.

        Mr. Oz would be some beefcake on a calendar in ifh’s office, yes?

  33. Hillary’s White House bid energizes gun control supporters

    Gun control advocates have high hopes for Hillary Clinton’s presidential run, viewing her as an ally who can finish the push for tightened background checks that has stalled in President Obama’s second term.

    Clinton, the frontrunner for the Democratic nomination, has been a staunch advocate of gun-control proposals such as expanding background checks and banning assault weapons. Last summer, she ripped groups that oppose those ideas as out of step with public opinion.

    “We cannot let a minority of people, and that’s what it is, it is a minority of people, hold a view point that terrorizes the majority of people,” Clinton said during a CNN town hall event.

    1. Looking for that easy Bloomberg money.

    2. “We cannot let a minority of people, and that’s what it is, it is a minority of people, hold a view point that terrorizes the majority of people,” Clinton said during a CNN town hall event.

      unfortunately, that minority – the ones with the gunphobia – carry a lot of sway. Then again, this is the woman whose self-awareness took a flier when she yammered about the deck being stacked by the powerful.

    3. “We cannot let a minority of people, and that’s what it is, it is a minority of people, hold a view point that terrorizes the majority of people,” Clinton said

      Careful what you ask for.

    4. Molon Labe B****.

    5. Did she really threaten to get people who engage in crimethink?

      We cannot let a minority of people, and that’s what it is, it is a minority of people, hold a view point that terrorizes the majority of people

      Yes. Yes she did.

      And since when can viewpoints “terrorize” anyone?

      1. I donno, Charles Whitman’s viewpoint was pretty terrorizing for those on the campus below.

        Or did you mean opinion?

      2. come on, man. Everyone knows that incorrect viewpoints, those not on the left, are by definition terroristic.

      3. And since when can viewpoints “terrorize” anyone?

        Clearly you’ve missed the story on the recent lecture at Oberlin.

  34. State labor board rules that university violated labor law when they informed union members of the consequences of striking, specifically that they would lose access to university (employer provided) email.

    http://www.oregonlive.com/educ….._thre.html

    I bet the university was going to cut their paychecks off too!

    1. A university was out-leftisted!

    2. And by cut of their paychecks, I mean not pay them while the strike was going on but shell out full back pay after the contract is settled.

    3. I thought that the law required the company to outline, without prejudice, what striking would mean. They couldn’t say whether anything was good or bad, just factual information. Am I wrong on that?


  35. Drone Board!

    I wonder, is it anything like a Death Panel?!?

    1. In the future, they’ll be combined, and death panels will decide whether to drone sick people.

      (you know what, I think I can get this to catch on as a conspiracy theory. Time to start hanging out on wingnut boards and see who I can get to buy that.)

  36. “Saudi Arabia conducted more airstrikes in Yemen despite United Nations-sponsored talks being preconditioned on a stop to Saudi Arabia’s bombing campaign.”

    OK, we will talk…after we run through a few more 500 lbs bombs…

    1. *All* them pilots want their Bentleys.

  37. The New York Mets go to Yankee Stadium for their first interleague game of the season, looking for a franchise record 12th consecutive win.

    Joey begs to differ.

    1. Fuck the Mets, they think they’re so good.

      1. Moooooookie!

        I hate the entire NL East. I hope global warming drowns that division.

        1. You and your fancy pansie dh fad thingie can kiss my ass and go straight to hell. The pitcher is a position player god dammit and should hit, it’s only natural and I swear it’s written in Leviticus somewhere.

          1. You misunderstand.

            I’m NL.

            I just hate the NL East.

            Hello…EXPOS FAN HERE.

            1. Oh, well I’m an nats fan. This is awkward. I really enjoy the team that was taken from you.

              1. #JeffreyLoriaisanawfulperson

              2. /NARROWS GAZE.

                1. Yessss… turn to the Narrow Side!

                  1. Is that like crossing the Narrow Sea?

  38. Marco Rubio is for sale: The GOP’s epic money-groveling campaign has officially begun

    This donor primary is likely to get a little bit frantic with all the candidates jockeying for the role of the Republican party’s leading man. Will it be the Wisconsin cheesecake Scott Walker, the Texas beefcake Ted Cruz or the spicy Cuban manwich Marco Rubio? And don’t forget the rest of the chorus line. There’s the B-Actor Jeb Bush who could turn in a credible, if not transcendent, performance, or the Wild Arkansas Preacher Mike Huckabee, along with a whole crew of character actors who could be in a position to step up if they are given the chance. It’s wide open. If nothing else the contest should be wildly entertaining for the rest of us.

    The only problem for the billionaires is that these candidates all have to eventually perform in a series of tryouts we call “party primaries” where the audience, also known as voters, gets a chance to weigh in. They may not agree with the billionaires’ choice, no matter which lucky fella they anoint in their auditions. Democracy is such an inconvenience that way.

    1. As I said before Marco Rubio is literally the poor man’s Jeb.

      1. And Jeb is the only one who loses from Rubio entering the race. Rubio is pulling from Jeb’s support base, weakening him relative to all other contenders.

      2. Yeah, and a good thing those pure-as-the-driven-snow Dems never do anything like “grovel for money” or stuff….

    2. “The GOP’s pathetic money-groveling: Why the Republican nomination will go to the highest bidder”

      Yeah, none of ’em have the SoS cred to sell, like the D leading figure. Why grovel when you can suggest to some U-seller that a bit of vig will make that deal go through like you greased it, pal!

    3. good think the Dem’s presumptive nominee does not engage in this sort of thing.

    4. Rubio’s for sale? I’m sorry, did Hillary Clinton die or something?

      1. Hilary you only rent.

  39. The smell of flowers, cut grass and, on the grounds of the Washington Monument this week, cow poop?

    “We were going to walk up and take pictures (of the Monument), but I think we’re going to stay here and then go see the White House.”

    Stay away from Capitol Hill, though. Smells like sewage.

  40. Peering Inside Yellowstone’s Supervolcano

    A giant reservoir of magma and hot rock beneath the Yellowstone supervolcano has been found and imaged. The newly found reservoir lies 12-28 miles below the surface, and is four-and-a-half times larger than the shallower, hot melted rock zone that powers current Yellowstone geysers and caused the caldera’s last eruption some 70,000 years ago.

    The volume of the newly imaged, deeper reservoir is a whopping 11,000 cubic-miles (46,000 cubic kilometers), which is about the volume of Long Island with 9 miles of hot rock piled on it, or 300 Lake Tahoes. The discovery begins to fill in a gray area about how Yellowstone connects to a far deeper plume of heat rising up from the Earth’s mantle.

    1. Gaia needs some Clearasil

      1. We’ll all be begging for global warming if Gaia decides to pop this zit.

    1. Labour’s ‘secret plan’ to lure migrants
      The release of a previously unseen document suggested that Labour’s migration policy over the past decade had been aimed not just at meeting the country’s economic needs, but also the Government’s “social objectives”.

      The paper said migration would “enhance economic growth” and made clear that trying to halt or reverse it could be “economically damaging”. But it also stated that immigration had general “benefits” and that a new policy framework was needed to “maximise” the contribution of migration to the Government’s wider social aims. …

  41. The morning links are missing a very important news item:

    “Tarran to wed! Millions of despairing women threaten violent gory suicide!” 🙂

    1. Who’s the lucky victim?

      1. She’s in insurance. She has no kids. She likes bad boys (and being an anarchist who doesn’t think guns are evil, I am a very, very bad boy). She likes fast cars.

        She is very much the yang to my yin.

        1. IT’S A TRAP!!!

        2. Insurance…oy. *checks self* Wait a minute!

          Second marriage – the triumph of hope over experience?

          But good luck to you!

    2. Congratulations.

      1. About the wedding, not the mass suicide.

    3. Don’t Do It! :0

      1. At least discuss “why” before you do it.

      2. I’ve actually given this a lot of thought.

        She’s stuck with me despite some awful crap. I figure we’ll be getting kicked out of nursing homes for the trouble we cause when we’re in our 100’s.

    4. Fine, I’ll eat this one-week-past-its-use-by-date packet of chocolate biscuits AND THEN YOU’LL BE SORRY

      1. Don’t do it IFH! There are other men! There are even libertarian males out there; it’s not a taco-fest.

    5. Congratulations and best wishes!

      Get a prenup.

      1. Like he has any assets worth stealing splitting…

        1. If there aren’t any assets to split I’d still get one that limits maintenance and child support in the event of a divorce down the road.

        2. “George, I make more than you do.”

          1. ^^^^ Comically, this!

            I think her salary is twice mine.

    6. How many shotguns did her dad need to convince you?

      Congrats too.

    7. Hey, congrats man! Much happiness to the both of you.

    8. Semper Tarranus. Congratulations.

    9. Congratulations! “Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter. And may their first child be a masculine child.”

    10. Congratulations and best wishes, tarran.

    11. congratulations!

    12. Congrats!

  42. Not that you cold hearted, so-called libertarians/anarchists/team red so-conz care, but I’ll be gone for almost two weeks. Enjoy yourselves. Stay away from SugarFree, don’t go hiking in the woods by yourself, or take any one-way invitations to visit Warty’s clubhouse.

    1. Re-education camp?

      1. No, a visit to Warty’s Re-Education Camp is an equally bad idea.

      2. He has some underlings out in the Wastelands to discipline, some leather to try on and something about an oil well?

    2. Enjoy, Lord. A two-week hiatus should do wonders for your blood pressure.

    3. Off to raid the post-apocalyptic desert outpost again?

      1. guzzoline…

        1. Weirdly, I saw the guy who played the Gyro Captain play Nagg in Endgame this week. And Hamm was played by Agent Smith from The Matrix. So I did get a bit confused watching it

    4. But who will read salon for us?
      Have fun!

    5. Since no one ever comes back from Warty’s clubhouse the same person they used to be, all trips there are essentially one-way.

    6. Be safe.

  43. Win Dan Snyder’s money!

    The Redskins have announced that they’re going to give $1 million to any fan out there who can correctly pick the order that all 32 players will be selected in during the first round of the NFL Draft on April 30.

    Now, this might seem impossible, but it’s not as impossible as it sounds. You don’t have to pick what player is going to what team, you just have to pick the player’s correct draft slot.

    1. As a redskin fan I find the idea of anyone taking Dan Snyder’s money detestable, he can go right to hell.

      1. I’m not a Redskins fan, but I will gladly take anyone’s money who is giving it away.

        1. true, there is something to that. But I would compare it to taking gold from an ss operative.

      2. As an Eagles fan, I hope Dan Snyder lives to be 150, and never sells the team.

        1. I really can’t wait to see what happens with Chip Kelly’s petri dish this year. Should be good.

          1. And that’s before the draft, with all the Marcus Mariota rumors!

  44. “We believe that it’s time for Mrs. Clinton to turn that server and all those documents.”

    “She violated the law, and the idea that she was going to use her own server and do official business on it goes against every transparency issue that the President likes to tout,” Boehner said, though he was unable to say which specific law was violated when pressed.

    *** facepalm ***

    1. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.
      -Mark Twain

  45. Spot the Not: Albert J Beveridge

    1. God has not been preparing the English-speaking and Teutonic peoples for a thousand years for nothing but vain and idle self-admiration.

    2. We are a conquering race. We must obey our blood and occupy new markets and if
    necessary new lands.

    3. It is a noble land that God has given us: a land that can feed and clothe the world; a land whose coastlines would enclose half th e countries of Europe; a land set like a sentinel between the two imperial oceans of the globe.

    4. Since it is the evident destiny of the British and the Americans to rule the world, the better we know each other, the better job we will do.

    5. America would be better off as a country and Americans happier and more prosperous as a
    people if half of our Government boards, bureaus and commissions were abolished, hundreds
    of thousands of our Government officials, agents and employees were discharged and two-thirds of our Government regulations, restrictions and inhibitions were removed.

    6. God has marked the American people as His chosen nation to finally lead in the regeneration of the world.

    1. Beveridge was a big imperialist dude, so I’ll give him the imperialist quotes and say 5 is the not.

      (I know this is probably a trick, but it’s my guess and I’m sticking to it)

    2. 6 I think – pretty sure someone else of the same period said that

    3. 5 is real. He changed his views later in life. 4 is the Not. General Patton said that.

      Your punishment: http://www.danzigercartoons.co…..rt2021.jpg

  46. Spot the Not: William Jennings Bryan

    1. If the Bible had said that Jonah swallowed the whale, I would believe it.

    2. No one can earn a million dollars honestly.

    3. All the ills from which America suffers can be traced to the teaching of evolution.

    4. The parents have a right to say that no teacher paid by their money shall rob their children of faith in God and send them back to their homes skeptical, or infidels, or agnostics, or atheists.

    5. The Bible says it, I believe it, that’s the end of it.

    6. Plutocracy is abhorrent to a republic; it is more despotic than monarchy, more heartless than aristocracy, more selfish than bureaucracy. It preys upon the nation in time of peace and conspires against it in the hour of its calamity.

    1. 1 sounds like Darrow’s cross-examination of Bryan, not Bryan himself.

      So 1

      1. I would have said 5, but “that’s the end of it” doesn’t sound like a modern turn of phrase, rather an early 20th century phrase. So it’s probably authentic.

    2. The Not is #5- I saw it on a bumper sticker.

      Your prize:

      The safe space Ms. Byron explained, was intended to give people who might find comments “troubling” or “triggering” a place to recuperate. The room was equipped with cookies, coloring books, bubbles, Play-Doh, calming music, pillows, blankets and a video of frolicking puppies.

      http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03……html?_r=1

  47. Spot the Not: Weird Saints

    1. Saint Isidore: Patron Saint of the Internet

    2. Saint Drogo: Patron Saint of Ugly People

    3. Saint Athanasius: Patron Saint of Dentists

    4. Saint Ambrose: Patron Saint of Beekeepers

    5. Saint Cajetan: Patron Saint of the Unemployed

    6. Saint Genesius: Patron Saint of Clowns

    1. No 3. I can’t remember who the patron saint of dentists is, but she had her teeth kicked out

      1. By the patron saint of cops, I’m guessing.

      2. Winner! Your prize

        St Apollonia is the real patron saint of dentistry.

        1. Thanks! Now to find out who the patron saint of fat dancing fools is…

      1. nuh-uh, St Isidore is the patron saint of the interwebs. IIRC he was picked by JP II because he had written some sort of compendium of knowledge

    2. I know Drogo is real because I pray to him every day.

      1. The Stallion Who Mounts the World?

  48. “Mitt Romney said the donation from a uranium company to the Clinton Foundation at around the same time Hillary Clinton approved a uranium sale involving the company when she was secretary of state looked like bribery.”

    Quacks? Waddles? Swims?

    1. A Swan?

  49. How about those Mets! All done with their number one closer (Parnell still recovering from Tommy John) and their number two closer suspended. Their number 3? 8 for 8 in save opportunities. And, with their best everyday player sidelined, their starting catcher sidelined, and their number one lefty out of the bullpen sidelined.

    Lets go Mets!

    1. Don’t real baseball fans hate the Yankees, Mets, and Red Sox?

      1. Yankees for sure, Red Sox maybe, but Mets? Come on. Why hate a team that has been dreadful for a number of years.

        1. New York, New York; the city so arrogant they named it twice.

          New York City people are disproportionately overweening assholes.

          1. New York, New York, a city so unoriginal they named it twice.

          2. Your just jealous.

          3. New York City people are disproportionately overweening assholes.

            This is correct.

            However, don’t hate on the Mets or their fans. They aren’t even remotely close as boorish and arrogant as Yankee fans. They quietly go about their business, occasionally wearing blue and orange, and never get in your face about it. They are probably the nicest subset of NYers.

      2. AND, how can you hate a team that has a smiling baseball head as its mascot?

        1. As a nationals fan it really isn’t to hard to hate you. But rest assured your like 4th on the list behind the phillies, cardinals and braves.

          1. We ALL hate the Phillies.

            1. Including Phillies fans.

              (no, we just hate the GM)

              1. I do like Utley. A great player. I know he is having a tough time so far, but the guy is a true professional.

                1. Chase “World Fucking Champions” Utley may be my favorite baseball player ever. Love him.

                  1. When Harvey hit him a few games ago in retaliation, Utley’s reaction was just classic. Took off his elbow guards, and just trotted down to first. After the game they asked him about it, and he said, “Hey, I’ve been hit before.”
                    He is great.

                    1. I really hate Harvey. I really don’t understand how people like Harvey and Machado exist and Bryce Harper is constantly criticized as if he is the Darth Vader of baseball.

                    2. I like Harper too. He could play for my team anytime.

                    3. Harvey has better memes and Harper is a dick.

          2. As a nationals fan it really isn’t to hard to hate you.

            Especially with the Nats slow start…amiright???

      3. Meet the Mets! Meet the Mets!
        Step right up and beat the Mets!
        Bring your kiddies, and bring your wife!
        They’ll beat the Mets to within an inch of their life!
        Because the Mets are really dropping the ball!
        They’ve got their backs up against the wall!

        East Side, West Side
        everyone’s watching them go down!
        ‘Cause they’re the M-E-T-S, Mets
        the New York clowns!

        Oh, the Phillies and the Giants and the Washington team?
        What can they do? They’ll beat the Mets!
        Oh, the Pirates and Cardinals are ready to scream!
        Why will they scream? They’ll beat the Mets!

        All the fans, it’s true, the Mets are leaving them blue,
        so hurry up and come on down!
        You’ll say, “You call this a ball club?”
        The Mets of New York clowns!

        Give me a break! Give them a hand!
        They’re making everyone cry in the stands!

        Come on and…
        Meet the Mets! Meet the Mets!
        Step right up and beat the Mets!
        Bring your kiddies, and bring your wife!
        They’ll beat the Mets to within an inch of their life!
        Because the Mets are really dropping the ball!
        They’ve got their backs up against the wall!

        East Side, West Side
        everyone’s watching them go down!
        ‘Cause they’re the M-E-T-S, Mets
        the New York clowns!
        The New… York… clowns!

      4. Nah, we’re America’s favorite little brother.

        Let’s Go Mets!

    2. They’re inevitable June collapse is going to be so much fun this year.

      1. Don’t think for a minute we aren’t fearful of that. We’re Mets fans…we’ve seen it before.

        1. I really don’t want the Yankees to break the current streak. I could live with Miami beating us on Tuesday, but I want so badly to sweep the Yankees.

          1. Yeah. And no excuses. First two games with De Grom and Harvey. Its time to finally make a statement between these two teams. Oh, and no Castillo to drop a can of corn.

            Lets go Mets!

      2. I will say this though. We Met fans are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Did it drop when Parnell could not start the season? Or when our second best reliever (Vic Black) hasn’t played yet? Or when our second closer got suspended? Or when our best everyday player went down? Or an injury to our starting catcher? Or when our lefty specialist went down?

        Those are 6 shoes. And we have won 11 straight.

        Maybe when the 7th shoe drops.

        1. I feel like the only thing that can derail this team is Daniel Murphy’s fielding. Fortunately when he screws up, he tends to do something good with his bat. So he kind of breaks even. Other than Murph, they feel like one of those teams of destiny. Bet he DH’s this weekend.

          1. I think you are right about that. There are times he can astonish you with a professional type play in the field, and then like yesterday…brainlock. I really like what Eric Campbell has provided in Wright’s place. I hope Cuddyer has a big series in that bandbox this weekend. We could use that.

    3. Try taking on the Royals.

      We’ll kick your ass on the field and in the ring.

      1. All dibs to the Royals. Very impressive in all aspects. I’ll take that World Series.

  50. A group of Native American extras and cultural advisors reportedly walked off the set of Adam Sandler’s new Netflix movie, The Ridiculous Six, over jokes they perceived as racist and sexist.

    No one can take a fucking joke. Red people, amarite?

    1. They should’ve walked off the set when they realized they were taking part in an Adam Sandler movie.

      Why the fuck does ANYBODY still give that man money? I don’t think there’s even been a single funny joke in one of his movies since Happy Gilmore.

      1. Rest easy knowing that his wife is fucking nastier than Hugh Jackman’s.

    1. Love the outrage – pretty sure the diggers would be fine with the cover.

    2. That is outrageous – forget the poppy, give the lady a Lee Enfield!

  51. To hell with your Peter Bagge reader, when is the Chip Bok anthology coming out?

  52. googlemap and zoom into these Pakistani coordinates in street map view:

    33?30’52.5″N 73?03’33.2″E

    i chuckled.

    1. Wtf? Who authorized that? Must be.some Google employee who is.from there.

    2. Even stranger than the fact that Google employs five-year olds is the fact that there is a Statue of Liberty looming over a mostly empty subdivision in Pakistan (look a couple miles southeast).

  53. Spot the Not: Charles E Coughlin

    1. When we get through with the Jews in America, they’ll think the treatment they received in Germany was nothing.

    2. On this earth you must belong to the church militant or get the hell out of it. That’s the right word. You’re either with me or against me.

    3. I have dedicated my life to fight against the heinous rottenness of modern capitalism because it robs the laborer of this world’s goods.

    4. We must not tolerate oppressive government or industrial oligarchy in the form of monopolies and cartels.

    5. God is directing President Roosevelt.

    6. The New Deal is Christ’s Deal.

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