Gay Marriage

I Don't Care Which Presidential Candidates Would Attend Gay Weddings and Neither Should You

The debate gets really tiresome as we wait for the Supreme Court to rule.


Joe Biden would come and photobomb the reception pictures.
Credit: Dolgachov |

Even if Sen. Rand Paul were to suddenly embrace same-sex marriages, I certainly would neither invite nor expect him to show up to my wedding to, uh, let's say the actor who played Colossus in the X-Men movies. I mean, as long as we're fantasizing here. Anyway, the point is that I've met Sen. Paul exactly once so far, and the idea that he would attend my wedding, regardless of whether it was to a man or a woman, is absurd.

Neverthless, as people cast about for ways to keep gay marriage in the news as a political issue, even though it's likely the Supreme Court may well settle the matter very soon, we've reached a silly place where people are asking candidates or potential candidates for president whether they would personally attend a gay wedding. Interestingly, this was all actually started by conservative host Hugh Hewitt and spread from there, as Howard Kurtz notes at Fox News:

Ted Cruz deflected the question. "I haven't faced that circumstance," he said. "I have not had a loved one have a gay wedding."

Rick Santorum, whose base is on the evangelical right, was unequivocal. "That would be something that would be a violation of my faith," he said.

Marco Rubio had gotten the same question from Fusion host Jorge Ramos, and he sent a signal of tolerance: "If there's somebody that I love that's in my life, I don't necessarily have to agree with their decisions or the decisions they've made to continue to love them and participate in important events," Rubio said.

The question soon went viral. A reporter asked Scott Walker about it in New Hampshire, and he said that "for someone I love"—a cousin of his wife's—he had attended a reception. And potential candidate John Kasich told a CNN reporter that after talking it over with his wife, he had just told a gay friend that he'd be at the man's wedding.

CNN has also taken note of the questions, and the responses are all over gay blogs and media. I don't want to be too dismissive of the idea that voters are electing people, not just a series of policy choices (if that). But because so much is dependent on that upcoming Supreme Court case (they will hear arguments April 28, next Tuesday), this whole debate feels utterly disconnected from any policy decisions a potential president may be able to introduce or pass through Congress. And since presidential candidates (or, you know, people in general) don't often attend the weddings of complete strangers, none of these politicians are going to be showing up at mine or most of yours.

When I blogged recently that gay marriage may be essentially "over" as a political debate, I wondered whether Republicans would be willing to let it go. Some commenters wondered if the media would be able to let the issue go, not just the candidates. This may be a good example, but you can't blame progressive journalists for this one.

NEXT: Video: Conservative Artist Sabo: "My focus was to be mean, nasty, and just as bad as Bill Maher"

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  1. C’mon. At its core, the presidential election is barely different from electing Prom King. You vote for who you like as a person–is he nice? Does he care about people like me?

    So, stupid social policy questions like this are a way for people to determine who this candidate is as a person, and if they could like and vote for him.

    Nobody, outside of a few of us who give a sh*t, could care less about policy.

  2. But Scott, you have to care!

  3. But, where do the candidates stand on toilet paper vs sanitary wipes vs bidet?

  4. They’ll be happy when they find a candidate who not only says he’ll go but will also claim prima nocta to fuck both grooms.

  5. There is no question, the media will absolutely NOT be willing to let it go in their eternal quest to ensure that Republicans appear to be intolerant out of touch bigots who are just waiting to send minorities of all kinds to the ovens and use the Handmaids Tale as an instruction manual.

  6. “Are you inviting me to attend yours?”

  7. So you fantasize about Daniel Cudmore too, Scott?

    1. I suppose I should learn his name if we’re going to be married.

  8. I got an ‘unvitation’ to one gay wedding circa 2005 and that’s the only opportunity I’ve had.

    It looked like a normal wedding invitation except, when we opened it, it informed us that the wedding was happening in short order (the next weekend IIRC) and that the bride and her bride expected no gifts. Instead it asked us to contribute to the HRC to help advance tolerance for their love and the institution that supports it.

    All of the extended family received the unvites and her immediate family was entirely snubbed. It remains to be seen if other family members of similar persuasion can handle it in a more tasteful/mature fashion. Given how many of them acted when ‘coming out’, I’m less than optimistic.

    I’m not a fan of marriage as a state institution, but this only served to cement my general notions about the ‘rightousness’ of gay marriage and it’s implications for the family.

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