A.M. Links: Hillary Clinton's Immigration Troubles, ISIS Launches New Offensive in Iraq, Letterman Announces Final Late Show Guests


  • Credit: White House / Flickr.com

    Islamic State fighters in Iraq have launched a new offensive outside Baghdad.

  • "Hillary Clinton wrong on family's immigration history, records show."
  • Hillary Clinton may be running for president, but that won't stop the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation from accepting donations from foreign governments.
  • Late Show host David Lettterman has announced his final roster of guests. Letterman's last Late Show show will air on May 20.
  • Thousands of fast-food workers went on strike yesterday for higher wages.
  • Time has named Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg as one of its "100 Most Influential People." Her entry in that list was written by Justice Antonin Scalia, who said Ginsburg is "almost always correct."

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  1. Hillary Clinton may be running for president, but that won’t stop the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation from accepting donations from foreign governments.

    She’s gonna need that dough in the primaries.

    1. “Hillary Clinton wrong on family’s immigration history, records show.”

      She ‘misstated’ according to one Maggie Haberman of one paper called The New York Tines.

      Is that an underground subway paper or something?


      1. She tried to claim she’s Hispanic.

        1. No, Indian.

          1. Turns out, she was actually born in Kenya?

        2. Ted.

          Are you okay this morning? Just checking in on you.

          Other than that. Those opening 10 minutes. Yikes!

          1. At least my team is going to be playing in Europe next season. 😐

            1. I actually wasted two hours of my life on that yesterday. 🙁

            2. Heh.

              2-0 is not impossible in Germany.

      2. Is there anything Hillary says that isn’t manufactured?

        1. That was a facetious question right?

      3. …one paper called The New York Tines.

        Put a fork in ’em!

        1. I’m looking for a trident.

          1. Pitchfork with obligatory torch…

  2. Watch This Homeowner Shoot Down a Drone Flying over His Property


    1. Watch this viral marketing campaign for this guy’s lemon grove or whatever.

  3. 42) I guess I’m a free-range parent. I mean, my wife and I are more restrictive than our own parents were, but compared to our neighbors we let our children live like little Mowglis. I was talking to another mother in our neighborhood and wondering if my daughter (age 5) was old enough to leave in the car if I pop in for an item at the grocery story. “Oh, far too young,” she said. So what age is appropriate, I wondered. I thought she would say seven or eight. But her answer: “Twelve.” This woman thinks a ten- or eleven-year-old is too young to leave alone in a car for five minutes. It’s times like that I realize we don’t allow our children a little more freedom than others?we’re from entirely different planets in our assessments of the risk level our kids face.

    1. Leave your kid alone in the car and they’re likely to be kidnapped. By the cops.

      1. This is probably my biggest deterrent.

    2. Wait until the neighbor reports you to the police. 🙁

      1. Yeah, I’ve thought of that. Fortunately I met this lady at the pool–I don’t think she actually knows where I live.

        1. Yeah, the real danger is from the busybody neighbor who calls the cops and then the cops are forced to enforce the idiot laws.

          I had a friend who homeschooled her kids and her neighbor called the cops on her multiple times (maybe 10 times over the course of 18 months) because her kids (aged about 6-10) were playing outside their own home during the school day. They lived on a cul-de-sac and rode their bikes, played basketball on the street. Oh, the horror.

          1. The second incident would incur an ass-kicking

            1. Scruffy,

              A friend of mine made a dark joke one day, which I can adapt and apply here (apply a thick New Jersey accent):

              “I noticed your children really love that dog of theirs, what’s his name? Oh, that’s right, Rex. Good looking dog you got there, that Rex. It’d be a terrible shame if Rex went missing one night… a terrible shame. Well, I’ve got to get back to my children’s lessons. It’s been really good talking to you, neighbor. Really good. Take care now.”

              1. “You really should switch to Hardieboard for your siding, vinyl is so flammable.”

                1. “I saw this mob movie once where this guy learned how to disassemble a few of a car’s vital brake components so as to cause a crash without leaving any trace of tampering.”

              2. “I noticed your children really love that dog of theirs, what’s his name? Oh, that’s right, Rex. Good looking dog you got there, that Rex. It’d be a terrible shame if Rex went missing one night… a terrible shame. Well, I’ve got to get back to my children’s lessons. It’s been really good talking to you, neighbor. Really good. Take care now.”

                “Well, your kids sure seem to like Rex. They love to come over and play with him. He’s a gentle dog, really.”

    3. I’ve left my 2 and one year old alone multiple times while I ran into a convenient store to pee.

      1. What the fuck?

        1. Long road trips, I’m pregnant and have to pee every other hour, I’m sure as hell not going to take the 15 minutes required to load them in a fucking stroller and load them back in the car just so I can run in somewhere and pee real quick.

          1. Never, ever mess with a pregnant woman. That’s some mean ass shit waiting to explode…

            1. I don’t think I want her exploding ass-shit.

          2. I need to introduce you to my wife. She’s not quite there yet. And making a long cross-country drive alone with our 1 year old while pregnant in a couple weeks.

            1. I just sent you a message. In Houston right now but on the wrong side of town.

            2. When you guys due?

              1. September 3

          3. You,could just do what my dad did on road trips.

            1. Isn’t it harder for women to pee into empty soda bottles?

            2. I,don’t expect a response to,this. She knows what I’m referring to and won’t shame the family here.

            3. You,could just do what my dad did on road trips


        2. Yeah! Play coy so you can get them back when CPS comes!

    4. Sort of on topic, took son to park last night. There is a softball field next to it, where 10-12 year old girls were practicing. Sort of watched the practice, nothing too strenuous occurred, only running was some drill where every girl sprinted around the bases once.

      After, one girls mom remarked how tired she looked. You poor thing! Let me get the SUV and bring it closer so you don’t have to walk.

      Are you fucking kidding me lady? You are parked maybe 300 yards away, your little snowflake will make it.

      1. So,you,went to the park to watch a bunch of 10-12 year old girls that you don’t know practice softball?

        Stay classy, Aqualung.

        1. +1 Sitting on a park bench…

          1. Well done, lads, well done.

        2. You missed the part where no practicing really occurred, I could take all those bitches in a game of softball all by myself.

          There, that sounds better.

        3. He was supervising his boy’s microaggression training. The lad has got to know how to properly leer.

      2. Pro-tip: If you’re a man, under no circumstances should you be watching young girls do anything unless your own daughter or relation is in the group.


        1. +1 mirror sunglasses

    5. 10 is clearly too young to leave alone.

      Not because the kid is in an danger but doing so puts YOU in significant danger. A single busybody on a crusade can put your ass in jail or worse for leaving a kid that age alone in a car.

  4. U.S. military ‘hostile’ to Christians under Obama; morale, retention devastated


    1. Bo bait.

    2. I guess they left the Air Force out of the study.

      1. Hey, they said “military” not the most aggressive airline 🙂

        1. +1000000 mileage bonus

          1. Only if you are in congress and get tax payer subsidized trips…

  5. Boeing Boeing gone! The amazing Californian scrap yard where jumbo jets from around the globe are sent to die… but some might be rescued from beyond the grave
    Southern California Logistics Airport in Victorville is one of the world’s largest aircraft breakers yards
    Airlines from around the globe send their aging aircraft to the desert for storage until a final decision is made
    Some of the aircraft will return to the skies after they are thoroughly inspected and declared fit to fly
    Others will be slowly stripped of their valuable parts before they are eventually crushed and turned into drinks cans


      1. You’re old.

        1. I just have good taste in movies.

          1. Old movies.

      2. I’ve never seen that movie. Maybe I should see it?

        My favorites of the old war flicks are 12 O’Clock High and Run Silent, Run Deep.

        1. Yes, definitely see it. Even though it’s 170 minutes it doesn’t seem long.

          12 O’Clock High is excellent too. Run Silent, Run Deep isn’t bad, but there’s only so much you can do with submarine flicks.

          For a lesser-known war movie, I’d recommend The Cranes Are Flying.

          1. I will check it out, thanks Ted S.

            The scene in Run Silent, Run Deep where the torpedo falls on the sailor haunted me for years.

            12 O’Clock High is one of my favorite movies. I bought a replica of the jug they used in the Officers Club to indicate when a mission was on for the next day.

    1. That’s not a boneyard.

      THIS is a boneyard.


  6. Time has named Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg as one of its “100 Most Influential People.”

    Some new strategy by progressives to nudge her out?

    1. Time has named given the nod to Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg as one of its “100 Most Influential People.”


    2. +1 South African Constitution

    3. More importantly, will People Magazine name her as one of its “100 Most Beautiful People”?

      1. “Old is the new beautiful”

      2. Playa Manhattan should be along shortly to regale us with his favorite image

        1. SCJILF?

  7. Why white people aren’t as cool as black people

    Obama seems to be the King Midas of political cool. Any topic he touches ? whether it’s climate change, rap music, or health care ? suddenly becomes hip. Even when he mixes up Star Wars and Star Trek, or makes an awkward attempt at greeting people in Jamaican patois, America is constantly giving him cool points.

    But this will never happen for Rand Paul (should he by some strange turn of events be elected), or most other Republicans. The right wing are scrambling to figure out how to win over the youth ? a group that is, more than ever, obsessed with coolness. The key to reaching this group might very well be to be cool; to beat Obama at his own game. But they won’t succeed. This is because they’re white ? and white people are not as cool as black people.

    1. I might be willing to accept that black people in general are cooler than white people, but if your Exhibit A is Barack Obama you’re going to get laughed out of the room.

      1. +1 mom jeans.

      2. I’m not willing to.

        I’ve met plenty of black douchebags.

        Imagine if someone had written ‘Why whites are cooler than blacks’ and used Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Tony Bennett (for good measure because I saw him live and he’s just soooo dreamy) as their metrics.

      3. I will also accept they like cool aid and ripple, but their penises are normal size. I had gym with a black guy.

        1. On the other hand, one guy on my soccer team – he was Haitian – had a long dong.

          1. Did you call him Long Dong Silver?

            1. We didn’t call him anything. Dude was a crazy son of a bitch who went on to join a notorious Montreal gang. He was also one of the most violent fighters in junior hockey.

              We all just nervously laughed around him.

              Luckily he kinda liked me.

              1. Luckily he kinda liked me.

                Probably because he caught you staring at his monster dong.

                1. Lol

      4. Cool people generally speak in such a way as to indicate that they are at least capable of proficiency in their native language.

    2. There’s a lot of stupid packed in those two paragraphs.

      1. There’s a lot more, you should check it out.

        To be cool, you need to be part of a minority ? not one so minor that it is invisible, but one that is easy for a lay person to imagine and understand. Also, it’s not enough that you reject the majority ? it needs to reject you first.

        So, let me get the process straight.

        1. Become a minority of your own invention.
        2. Declare yourself victimized and rejected.
        3. Profit?

        1. I am a minority. There’s only one of me.

          1. #ClonesAreBoring

            1. #CloneSexisMaturbation

    3. You have to be pretty isolated to think that “America is constantly giving [Obama] cool points.” That may have been true 5 or 6 years ago, but even his original supporters seem to have grown weary of him. They’ll defend him, but they won’t proactively talk about how great he is anymore.

    4. If you’ve ever been the only black person at a party, you know exactly what I’m talking about. Once the music comes on, all eyes are on you. You might have two broken left feet and a bad back, but in that moment, every white face turns to you, waiting for you channel the spirits of Michael Jackson, James Brown, and Bobby Shmurda into a dazzling display of exotic dancing majesty. You could do jumping jacks at this point and people will copy you, in hopes of absorbing some of your coolness. You’re automatically hip, even if you don’t want to be.

      Yeah, and black guys have uncontrollable sex drives, and black women are bossy bitches with too much attitude, and blacks don’t excel in school… /sarc

      What a fucking racist maroon reveling in his stupidity.

      1. Hes sounds like the token black guy that hangs out with all the super inclusive white, ivy league progressives.

        1. This.

        2. Whom he gently rebukes for their racist pandering, which is cool because that’s really all they wanted from him in the first place.


      3. There may come a day when the black monopoly ends, and white people have an equal shot at being cool. That will be the day that black people cease to be exotic, because white America will view black America as part of the same America, instead of just a source for sports highlights, mp3s, and “on fleek” tweets from Denny’s. It will also be the day that we stop searching for reasons why black children deserve to die. In other words, it will be the day that racism ends.

        He’s the one separating black from white America. For this author, racism won’t end until his preferred group has subordinated the other.

    5. America is constantly giving him cool points

      If by “America” you mean “the NY Times and MSNBC”, maybe.

    6. Part of it is people afraid to criticize Obama for fear of being called racist.

    7. *hand up*

      Um, is Obama running for a third term?

      1. I know. His thesis is the Republicans will have trouble winning cool points, but for some reason 70 year old Hillary Clinton is apparently awesome.

        1. Oh yeah, and by the way: if Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio were running as D, I bet they wouldn’t be considered white, but instead cool minorities.

    8. Steve McQueen laughs. As does James Dean.

  8. Fuhrer my eyes only! The embarrassing photographs of Adolf Hitler posing in lederhosen that the Nazi leader tried to keep hidden from the world
    Hitler ‘fan magazine’ has been discovered and will be published in Britain
    It was found by a British soldier in a bombed German house after the war
    One propaganda photo shows him in lederhosen and knee-high socks
    Military experts will this month publish book entitled The Rise of Hitler


    1. You know who el….hey, wait a moment?!

    2. I was in London a couple weeks ago – walked past a military collectibles shop at one point and their was a Nazi Party label pin for sale. Thought about buying it but it creeped me out a little too much.

      1. Was watching Pawn Stars and some guy had a tea set with the Nazi swastika on it. Rick wouldn’t buy it.

        1. My grandfather (WWII Vet) has a piece of Hitler’s stationary.

        2. Probably a good move for the longevity of the show – so in that sense a good business decision.

          If he didn’t have the show I bet he would have bought it.

          1. I dunno. He strikes me as someone who wouldn’t act any differently if the camera wasn’t there.

      2. There’s a few antique stores around here with militariana that’s just plain creepy to me. For the same reason.

    3. He looks so non-threatening in those knee high socks.

  9. Watch the US Navy’s drone CANNON: Weapon will shoot 30 swarm bots into the sky in under a minute in ‘new era’ for warfare
    Drones are launched one after the other from tube-like launcher
    Once airborne, the drones fly together like geese
    Can swap information and work together to bomb targets – or defend

    Cool or creepy?

    1. Creepy. One step closer to Skynet.

    2. I think cool cuz I liked the hive frigate from home world: cataclysm.
      /uber nerd

      1. Did you see the HD remake of Homeworld? Unsure when it’s actually debuting, but I’m nostolgic enough for a replay.

        1. I saw that. Unfortunately I don’t have a desktop anymore.

        2. Its out on Steam. I dunno if its out yet on disk.

    3. Sarah Connor has a sad

    4. Cool if fired by a black guy; creepy if by a white guy.

      1. awesome.

  10. Gun violence costs taxpayers $229 BILLION each year: Shocking figures revealed in new study
    Investigation by Mother Jones said gun violence costs $700 per American each year, with a total of $229 billion
    The cost of the obesity epidemic is $224 billion
    $8.6 billion is direct costs, such as prison for those who commit homicide
    Indirect costs account for $169 billion for ‘impact on victims’ quality of life’
    Over 750,000 Americans have been injured by guns in the last 10 years

    Mother Jones…

    1. Prison for those that…commit suicide? We’re pitting dead people in prison now? Know wonder prisons are overcrowded.

      1. You might want to check your vision.

        1. Ooops…

    2. Investigation by Mother Jones

      I don;t think the word ‘investigation’ means the same thing to Mother Jones that it does to most people.

    3. A classic “cost-cost analysis”.

    4. Gun violence costs taxpayers $229 BILLION each year, $228.9B of which is payouts to the cops’ victims.


      1. I’ll go ahead and say what we’re all thinking: “nice”.

    5. Let me guess… They didn’t bother trying to contemplate the benefits of gun ownership.

    6. Indirect costs account for $169 billion for ‘impact on victims’ quality of life’

      As always, proggy statists only ever count the negative externalities.

      What about the positive impact on the quality of life of people who use guns in self-defense or to stop/deter crime?

  11. Leather sex toy from the 18th Century is discovered by archaeologists at ancient Polish training arena for swordsmen
    The 250-year-old toy was made from leather with a wooden head
    It was found during excavation of an ancient toilet in Gdansk
    Archaeologists also discovered swords during the dig

    Paging SugarFree….

    1. “If you can fight with this up your ass, grasshopper, you will be a master.”

      1. I laughed

    2. What sort of swordfighting were they teaching?

        1. I SugarFree’d the link. How appropriate.

          try again

        2. [muntz laugh]

  12. Thousands of fast-food workers went on strike yesterday for higher wages A Healthier America.


  13. Haunted ruins of the tortured: The ghostly remains of U.S. prison where disabled citizens and inmates were experimented on by the government
    Haunting images show the decaying ruins of Holmesburg Prison where scientists experimented on its prisoners
    Inmates were paid to test a variety of dangerous substances such as radioactive, hallucinogenic and toxic materials
    Renowned dermatologist who experimented on prisoners has claimed no harm was done to any of the ‘volunteers’
    The prisoners who led a 38-day hunger strike in 1938 were locked in ‘the bake ovens’ where four ‘roasted to death’


    1. I’d never heard of this place. Incredible. Just looked it up on Wikipedia, it’s located in the city limits of Philadelphia.

    2. That sounds like a Progressive’s wet dream! Eliminating undesirables and improving the health of the desirables! Win-Win!

    3. The prisoners… were locked in ‘the bake ovens’ where four ‘roasted to death’

      You know who else had prisoners put in ovens?

      1. The Cube?

      2. Phalaris?

      3. Hansel and Gretel?

  14. Kill, kill, kill!’: Shocking moment young Kurdish girl fires machine gun at ISIS, boasting shes killed 400
    Video of little girl firing several rounds ‘towards ISIS’ has gone viral
    The girl, dressed in pink, tells man off camera she has killed 400 fighters
    The man encourages her by saying ‘kill, kill’ as she shoots machine gun
    Kurdish known for their female fighters – but ISIS known for using children


    1. Little Kurdish girl is just like Adam Lanza.

  15. Georgia police chief, who accidentally shot ex-wife while she slept and left her paralyzed from the waist down, indicted on a reckless-conduct charge
    William McCollom, the chief of police in Peachtree City, Georgia, called 911 on January 1 to say he had accidentally shot his wife, Margaret
    Margaret was left paralyzed below the waist and believes it was an accident
    McCollom resigned from chief position in March after working in policing for nearly three decades
    He was indicted on a reckless-conduct charge on Wednesday

    Accident. Yeah. Sure.

  16. Georgia police chief, who accidentally shot ex-wife while she slept and left her paralyzed from the waist down, indicted on a reckless-conduct charge
    William McCollom, the chief of police in Peachtree City, Georgia, called 911 on January 1 to say he had accidentally shot his wife, Margaret
    Margaret was left paralyzed below the waist and believes it was an accident
    McCollom resigned from chief position in March after working in policing for nearly three decades
    He was indicted on a reckless-conduct charge on Wednesday

    Accident. Yeah. Sure.

    1. Whoops. That was an accident.


      1. See, it can happen.

      2. Sure.

    2. Guns are dangerous. They go off on their own – and can even aim themselves at innocent bystanders. This is why only trained professionals (always government agents, natch) should handle firearms.

  17. Thousands of fast-food workers went on strike yesterday for higher wages.

    Bringing the world that much closer to fully automated fast-food restaurants.

      1. I see a branding opportunity.

    1. They interviewed a couple of the striking idiots on the radio yesterday. One moron was complaining how he was struggling to take care of his wife and four kids for two years on his fast-food burger-flipper pay. So of course other people should be forced to pay for his bad choices in life.

      1. Obviously. I mean, he can’t pay he works at a fast food place.

      2. Yes. They should always ask these folks how they did in school? Graduate high school? Study hard? Do well in math, English, history, science? Have good attendance?

        Why not? School was FREE. Society gave you access to $100 k worth of education – and you want more??

        1. Never mind deciding to have a wife and FOUR KIDS while not making jack shit and not having any skills.

  18. Islamic State fighters in Iraq have launched a new offensive outside Baghdad.

    Let’s hope they’re still go-getters when we’re arming them against the next threat.

  19. Report: Florida man high on flakka has sex with tree and calls himself Thor

    A man high on flakka attacked an officer, proclaimed himself God and had sexual relations with a tree, according to a report.

    Kenneth Crowder, 41, was seen running naked through a Brevard County community. He was then stopped by a Melbourne police officer and charged with resisting arrest with violence, Click Orlando reported.

    The officer used a Taser, but Crowder, who pulled the electric probes from his body, then punched the officer and tried to stab the cop with his badge, according to the report. The officer then punched the suspect, who said he was Thor.

    1. If Florida Man didn’t exist we’d have to make him up.

      1. 2 stories in 2 days. Where is Our Florida Man?

    2. +1 Bath Salt Panic

        1. I first read it as Bath Salt Picnic.

          *** gets food ***

    3. This isn’t exactly going to scare a lot of people away from flakka, you know.

      Because they make it sound awesome.

  20. Watch a SpaceX rocket EXPLODE in the Atlantic: Incredible footage reveals Falcon 9 booster’s failed landing on an ocean barge
    SpaceX made its third attempt to land a booster on a barge yesterday
    But the booster tipped over after hitting its target and was destroyed
    Falcon 9 is on its way to the ISS with supplies and will arrive Friday
    Cargo includes first espresso machine designed for use in space


  21. Size 18 writer strips down to her lingerie in poignant pictures as she criticizes plus-size retailer Lane Bryant for ‘pitting fat against thin’ with its I’m No Angel campaign
    Amanda Richards, from New York says she doesn’t campaigns which widen the gap between ‘fat’ and ‘thin’
    She says plus-size store Lane Bryant’s new ads celebrating women don’t actually show varying shapes, but rather ‘correctly’ proportioned plus-size women
    To show solidarity with other plus-size women, she posted photos of herself in Lane Bryant lingerie online

    Ahoy all ye chubby chasers! You know who you are!

    1. Amanda hopes to promote positive body image

      Hope, then change.

    2. Listen, ladies, you can be as fat as you like. You just can’t require other people to find you attractive.

      1. “stretch marks are the new sexy”

    3. campaigns which widen the gap between ‘fat’ and ‘thin’

      There’s only one gap in women’s couture I want to see widened.

    4. Meh she’s about the top of my college Slump Buster Roster.

      BTW women at a certain Big 10 school were complete stuck up cunts. Hence the deep bench I had to maintain.

      1. Was it U of M?

  22. Obese woman who piled on the pounds following the death of her sister undergoes dramatic transformation after ditching junk food to start her own healthy lifestyle blog
    Marlies Hartmann, from Los Angeles, California, weighed 218lbs at her heaviest
    The 32-year-old admits she tried every fad diet available, and even started taking controversial prescription pills to help her lose weight
    12 years on and she has managed to shed 75lbs thanks to a new, healthy regimen, which she is encouraging others to follow through her blog
    Marlies started a health food-focused Instagram account in September 2014 and has since amassed more than 12,500 followers

    Chubby chasers have a sad.

  23. “Hillary Clinton wrong on family’s immigration history, records show.”

    Eh. Plenty of people make this mistake. This is nothing like, say, claiming descent from American Indians on a flimsy basis so you can get into a competitive grad school, or get sympathy from voters.

    1. Really? You would think someone in her position would be a tad more careful, no?

      According to one report on my paternal family name it traces back to Venice. I’m not about to accept this at face value and sure as hell wouldn’t use it to gain an edge of some sort.

      1. The hilarious part of the story is that we are talking about what her grandparents were doing – in the 1880’s!

        What an old bag.

      2. Sure. But on my list of reasons not to vote for Hillary, this is #942,613.

        1. Dishonest. Corrupt. Incompetent. Unpleasant.

          Really, I see no reason not to vote for her.

          1. You mean, the vajayjay isn’t enough for you?

            1. Shockingly, she’s not the only woman in America eligible for office. Well, eligible is a strong word, since she’s an unconvicted felon.

  24. Rutgers’ Lord Nelson, only horse ever to be penalized in college football game, dies at 42

    The only horse ever to be penalized in a college football game has died.

    Rutgers University says Lord Nelson was 42, or the human equivalent of 126 years.

    One of Lord Nelson’s duties during his 37-year Rutgers career was carrying the school’s Scarlet Knight mascot during football games. It was against Army in 1994 that Lord Nelson was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct after he broke free and raced down the sideline at Giants Stadium.

    1. Time for a BBQ!

    2. Has Brittney Cooper done an investigate on horse racism yet?

    3. Lord Nelson was penalized for unsportsmanlike conduct after he broke free and raced down the sideline at Giants Stadium.

      Did they have to clean up after him? If not, no harm, no foul – he’s no worse than most horse’s ass football coaches!

  25. Spot the Not: Famous wrong predictions

    1. This “telephone” has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of


    2. Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau.

    3. Electricity is merely a scientific curiosity; it has no practical applications.

    4. I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.

    5. Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value.

    6. The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the

    wise and humane surgeon.

    7. I do not believe the introduction of motor-cars will ever affect the riding of horses.

    8. Louis Pasteur’s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

    1. 8 isn’t technically a prediction.

      1. Yes, but I couldn’t think of a better title.

    2. Number two. Everything else is to dumb to not be true.

    3. going with 7

    4. Pretty sure it is 7

    5. #3 is the Not. I made that up.

      An economist named Irving Fisher said #2 3 days before the 1929 crash. His career soured after that. He was also a prog. Ha!

      A British MP said #7 in 1903.

      1. Do I win anything for getting it right 8 minutes AFTER you posted the answer?

        1. Your prize: an article about a guy who was a member of both Nirvana and Soundgarden, but left both before they hit it big. He later became a Green Beret.


          Why is there no ballad of Jason Everman?

  26. Her entry in that list was written by Justice Antonin Scalia, who said Ginsburg is “almost always correct.”

    Hey! She’s adjudicatin’ over here!

    1. Folks, if you want to see how to do the “back-handed compliment”, there it is.

  27. No, Farmers Don’t Use 80 Percent of California’s Water

    This is a textbook example of how the media perpetuates a false narrative based on a phony statistic. Farmers do not use 80 percent of California’s water. In reality, 50 percent of the water that is captured by the state’s dams, reservoirs, aqueducts, and other infrastructure is diverted for environmental causes. Farmers, in fact, use 40 percent of the water supply. Environmentalists have manufactured the 80 percent statistic by deliberately excluding environmental diversions from their calculations. Furthermore, in many years there are additional millions of acre-feet of water that are simply flushed into the ocean due to a lack of storage capacity ? a situation partly explained by environmental groups’ opposition to new water-storage projects.

    1. I heard privileged white people use about 94% of the water.

    2. 40% still seems high.

      Of course, It wouldnt matter if water was was treated as a proper market. CA farmers would buy the amount that makes financial sense.

      1. So would businesses and residences.

  28. Late Show host David Lettterman has announced his final roster of guests. Letterman’s last Late Show show will air on May 20.

    I’m hoping for a Ryan Adams performance.

  29. Obama amnesty granted 500,000 Social Security numbers to illegal immigrants

    Mr. Obama’s latest amnesty, announced in November 2014, has been halted by a federal court, so no Social Security numbers have been granted under that policy.

    But the first amnesty, announced in June 2012 and covering young adult illegal immigrants known as Dreamers, remains in effect, and had approved nearly 639,000 persons as of the end of 2014.

    All those applying for the amnesty are required to apply for a work permit as well, and almost all are approved for that document, which they can then use to obtain a Social Security number.

    1. I don’t get this. Social Security (and the Canadian equivalent) is a sanctified ‘contract’ between state and citizen. Since when is it open to non-citizens? The thing is apparently broke (unfunded) and Obama saw fit to give it to people who never paid into it?

      1. I don’t know if they are actually going to collect money when they retire, but who cares? The system will just collapse slightly sooner.

        1. The hope is that young immigrants will pay into but never collect, thus propping the system for a little while.

      2. sanctified ‘contract’

        The Supremes say otherwise.

  30. Spot the Note: Even more bands with wacky names

    1. Norman Bates and the Shower Heads

    2. Penis Flytrap

    3. Rainbow Butt Monkeys

    4. Screaming Moist Accountants

    5. Shirley Temple of Doom

    6. JFKFC

    7. The Morbid Tavern Apple Choir

    8. Napalm Girl Scout Cookies

    They think a weird name will make their band unique… which works until every other band picks a weird name.

    Once again we see that trying to be different leads to conformity. The Hipster Paradox.

    1. I’ve actually seen JFKFC in concert. Part of a music festival at The Masquerade in Atlanta IIRC.

    2. I do believe Norman and the Shower Heads is real. As well as Moist Accountants?

    3. The name me mum gave me, not so great. So I changed it to two completely random things. “The” and “urge.” Just rolls off the tongue better. /Rigby

    4. The Not is #8. I made it up.

      I love #7- great pun on Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

  31. “Hillary Clinton wrong on family’s immigration history, records show.”

    This, certainly, is the most important reason she shouldn’t be President.

    1. What? The fact that she is not above telling lies or stagign shit to pander?

  32. Foreign Saboteurs
    When it comes to a Democratic president’s foreign policy, Republicans often side with America’s enemies.

    President Obama says Republicans are undermining his authority in negotiations with other countries. He gives several examples. One is the letter from 47 Republican senators advising Iran not to trust Obama’s promises in a nuclear deal. Another is Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s warning to foreign leaders that Obama’s domestic opponents won’t cooperate in any climate change plan he approves. The last straw was an allegation on Thursday from Sen. John McCain, the GOP’s 2008 presidential nominee, that U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry is lying about the terms of the Iran nuclear deal and that Americans should instead believe the contrary account given by Iran’s dictator.

    Obama calls these developments a breach of precedent. Last week, he told New York Times columnist Tom Friedman: “I do worry that some traditional boundaries in how we think about foreign policy have been crossed.”

    1. “Dissent is the highest form of patriotism!”

    2. Advise and consent

  33. What is this place? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?

    1. Don’t ask me I’m just here for the free booze.

    2. OK, jesse, what’s bugging you today?

      1. It’s like there’s a whole other H&R going on before I’ve had my first cup of coffee. I just assume you all have goatees or something.

        1. Why would I want a crappy half beard?

          1. Mirror universe Spock.

            Everything is the same, but wrong.

        2. *strokes morning beard*

          wait – did I just say something offensive?

        3. Better wait for that coffee to kick in. You misspelled “goatses”. 😉

        4. In Keith Richards’s biography, he describes one album the Stones were recording where the sessions kept getting later and later at night. Finally, he was walking to the studio for a session and the sun was out and all these guys in business suits were walking to work. He realized they had actually pushed their sessions so late they had actually synchronized with the schedules of the straight people.

          1. Thus kicking off a massive bender?

        5. Did you step on a butterfly when you were fucking around with your time machine?

            1. “A Sound of Thunder”

              Definitely in top 50 for awful movies no one should see.

    3. *Runs over and darts Jesse with more ketamine*
      Excuses him, he gets a little crazy sometimes.
      *drags Jesse away*

      1. *yawns*

        Oh good, Florida Man is here. He’ll know what to do.

        *snores softly, is easily dragged away*

    4. what are you doing up at this hour?

  34. Feminist Frequency [a youtube channel and SJW propaganda mill] recommends: games with dynamic or well designed female characters. As well as emotionally impactful games with an emphasis on themes of cooperation, empathy or social justice.


    1. So why don’t they shut the hell up and go make a game like that? Then we’ll see how its valued.

      1. So why don’t they shut the hell up and go make a sandwich?



    2. well designed female characters

      Here here!

      1. Lara Croft?

    3. I could probably design a board game called “Progressive Stack”

      Oh shit, I landed on “Check Your Privilege”, I lost a turn again!

    4. There’s a reason there are no games like this.

      No one will buy them.

    5. The AAA-titles they love to hate are aimed at teenagers, adolescent adults, and people of all ages looking to blow off steam. These are people with half an active brain either by choice or by genetic disposition. Essentially, FemFreqs wants to appeal to children, throwbacks, and the utterly ambivalent to force feminist acculturation. Commanding the lofty heights of culture, right there.

    6. Feminist Frequency [a youtube channel and SJW propaganda mill] recommends: games with dynamic or well designed female characters.

      I count gravity-defying boobs as “well-designed”.

      As well as emotionally impactful boring games with an emphasis on themes of cooperation, empathy or social justice boredom.

  35. Texas officer punished after video shows him playing rock-paper-scissors with a minor

    Moral of the story: He should have just shot her in the face. Then he would have been called a hero and given a paid vacation.

    1. That’s how I always beat my kids at that game.

    2. The Eagle, citing Total Frat Move, reports the girl got out of a minor in possession citation by winning the game.

      So I take it the point of punishment is to ensure officers don’t act human? I don’t get it.

  36. I’m happy this morning. Last night I received a collections notice from a dentist for $135. After they hit me for $100 at the time of service and billed my insurance company. I’m going to enjoy writing the letter disputing this. And down rating the fuck out of these guys on varios social media outlets. I already told the dentist’s AR department six months ago that I rendered payment at time of services and consider the matter closed. Also, it will be at least two years before I need any credit I don’t already have. Its always nice to be in a financial position to tell people who try to chiael you to fuck right off.

    1. I’ve been fighting a rental car company trying to pin my insurance company with damage I didn’t do. I suspect this is a wide-spread problem. The only two times I’ve ever been at fault in a rental car accident (30 years apart) the rental car company has added phantom repairs that have nothing to do with the damage from the fender-bender. The first time I said nothing. This time I alerted my insurance company, and now I’m in the middle of a battle.

      1. Fortunately, I took lots of pictures.

      2. Question for the lawyers: when you turn in your rental car, an agent looks it over, writes down the mileage and hands you a receipt. Doesn’t that end your responsibility? Why should you pay if, later, some damage is claimed? Maybe the car got hit when the agent was taking it to the new delivery lot or car wash? It has always seemed to me that if they hand you a receipt and don’t claim damages right away, then you should be legally off the hook for any subsequent damage claims.

    2. My wife and other dentists I know are now so afraid of poor reviews on social media that they would never send anyone to collections for a number this low. Not to mention that the dentist may get, what, $50 out of this.

      Moral of the story: never pay for any service again.

  37. Spot the Note: Metal Bands

    1. Cybernetic God Crusher

    2. Bongzilla

    3. Barbed Wire Condom

    4. Wall of Smegma

    5. Alabama Thunderpussy

    6. Satan’s Chainsaw

    7. Deep Fried Abortion

    8. Baby Jesus Hitler

    1. Ummmm….11?

    2. There are no “notes” in Metal!

      /old fart

      1. There are no “notes” in Metal!

        And it’s recorded in doubly

    3. 8. It doesn’t fit with the others. And I really enjoy Bongzilla and Alabama Thunderpussy.

    4. Damn. I saw Alabama Thunderpussy at the same festival as JFKFC.

    5. The Not is #6. Looks like I’m pretty good at coming up with plausible band names.

      1. It’s a song though. You cheated.

        1. I swear I had no idea that was a song. I noticed most of the names follow the formula of pick 2 of blasphemous, violent, and scatological and used that as my formula.

  38. AP source: Rubio raises $1.25M online during first day

    Sen. Marco Rubio raised $1.25 million online during his first full day as a presidential candidate, a person close to the Florida Republican’s campaign said Wednesday.

    The first-term senator entered the race for the GOP nomination on Monday evening during a rally in Miami. A day later, his campaign made an aggressive digital push for donations. It quickly paid off.

    The haul is as much as Rubio’s team had hoped to raise online during April, May and June, according to a person close to the campaign. The person spoke on the condition of anonymity to discuss campaign’s inner workings.

    1. A million isn’t cool. What’s cool is a billion.

  39. I think sarc and Lord H need to lay off the caffeine.

    1. NEVER!

  40. Scalia’s full quote on Ginsburg is amusing:

    “Having had the good fortune to serve beside her on both courts, I can attest that her opinions are always thoroughly considered, always carefully crafted and almost always correct (which is to say we sometimes disagree). That much is apparent for all to see.”

    They’re good buddies, but he’s not going to totally suck up to her.

    1. “Oh, Ginsburg? Eh, I’ve seen worse.” [looks meaningfully at Breyer]

  41. O’Malley Slams Hillary: ‘History Celebrates Profiles in Courage, Not Profiles in Convenience’

    “The dignity of every person tells us that the right to marry is not a state right, it is a human right,” O’Malley says in the video

    “as is the right to have the rain on your property taxed.”

    Bring it on, Martin.

  42. Switzerland Attracts Fewer Firms as Politics Hurt Business Image

    Switzerland, the world’s most competitive economy according to the World Economic Forum, is losing one of the motors that helped contribute to five consecutive years of economic growth. Firms are increasingly reluctant to enter a country that has given shareholders power to veto executives’ pay packages just as the central bank forecasts a slowdown in the economy this year.

    “It’s like a world championship,” said Rudolf Minsch, chief economist of business lobby Economiesuisse. “Placing at the top doesn’t mean you’ll win again next time. You have to train. It’s the same with the business environment. We have a spot on our record with the mass immigration initiative and the say on pay.”

    The drop may be in part due to uncertainty over corporate tax, the strong franc and the ability to hire workers from European Union countries, the report said. Agencies that promote the Swiss economy abroad have also become more targeted in their efforts to shift the focus to quality from quantity, the report said.

    1. Yeah well, it cost me $30 bucks to have crepes in Switzerland.

      1. Two cokes and a pizza, $50.

    2. Why shouldnt the owners have say over the amount their employees make?

  43. Spot the Not: It’s not FAIR!

    1. Fixing America’s Inequities with Revenues (FAIR) Act

    2. Financial Accounting for Intangibles Reexamination (FAIR) Act

    3. Fiscal Accountability and Intergovernmental Reform (FAIR) Act

    4. Foreign Agricultural Investment Reform (FAIR) Act

    5. Family Agricutural Insurance Reform (FAIR) Act

    6. Free Market Antitrust Immunity Reform (FAIR) Act

    1. Trick question! They’re all real.

      1. No, I definitely made up one of them.

          1. Nope. I will post again in the PM links. If you really want to know, you may search here:


  44. Supervisor Scott Wiener gets ‘stalked’ to work by angry nudist

    For the entire length of Wiener’s walk from the Castro to City Hall, he was followed by George Davis, the nudist mayoral candidate who is still upset over Wiener’s campaign to ban the town’s “naked men” from their daily gatherings.

    A clothed Davis followed Wiener all the way, shouting “civil liberty” with both arms extended over his head while flipping twin birds.

    “I have say, I admire his stamina,” Wiener said. “I could never keep my arms up for that long.”

    1. A headline writer’s dream.

    2. I gotta say, Wiener’s comment was spot on.

    1. His *driver’s* license?

  45. Noise, not strippers, was problem at Hillsborough mansion

    If it wasn’t for the loud parties, the owner of a $2 million mansion in northwest Hillsborough County might have continued operating a training school for strippers next door to an exclusive gated community.

    But the all-night, liquor-fueled celebrations, complete with booming stereos and screaming women, drew complaints from the Cheval West neighborhood.

    “If they had flown under the radar, they’d still be in business,” said Hillsborough sheriff’s Deputy Phil Acaba, who has investigated the events at 18520 Ramblewood Road. “The noise was the issue that brought their downfall.”

    1. This person is my new role model. Training school for strippers? I need a better imagination.

      1. Stripper High–a new reality show from the Science Channel.

    2. How does a stripper-training establishment keep the noise down? *Whisper* the lyrics of “Girls, Girls, Girls” while she goes through her routine?

      1. “Next to an exclusive gated community” means 40-50 year old tropy wives worried about competition.

        1. Either that or their husbands were coming home full of Cialis.

  46. Rand Paul can’t escape his sexism: Why his pouty, combative interviews will haunt his campaign
    It goes beyond his one-on-one with Savannah Guthrie — and his wife’s latest PR offensive isn’t going to save him

    Of course, the controversy surrounding Rand Paul is somewhat of an inversion of this problem?a male politician accused of being testy when confronted with confrontational female journalists as opposed to journalists refusing to treat a female politician as the equal of her male peers.

    That said, Paul’s behavior toward Guthrie displayed much of the condescension that has rankled professional women for years. One might argue that he would have evaded any journalist who confronted him about alleged inconsistencies in his views (no gender bias there), but check out his mansplaining to Guthrie about how she should conduct her interview: “Before we go through a litany of things you say I’ve changed on, why don’t you ask me a question, ‘Have I changed my opinion?’ That would sort of a better way to approach an interview.” It certainly raises red flags.

    1. Where would we be without Salon to femsplain to us how much we suck?

      1. Oddly, most of the social justice types i know also openly hate Salon. Either my sample is skewed somehow, or Salon is so shitty it can’t even hold the attention of people who generally agree with it.

    2. They’re really trying to push that, but I’ve heard the interview. Let me suggest to the press that asking questions that are really speeches and not letting the interviewee speak might not be hallmarks of journalistic integrity. Want to babble on? Be a talking head, not an interviewer.

    3. How DARE Rand Paul not meekly accept her loaded premise!

      1. I have a feeling his willingness to openly challenge the media will not be viewed as a negative by many voters.

  47. “Hillary Clinton wrong on family’s immigration history, records show.”

    They actually escaped from Serbia under fire.

  48. Memo to Patricia Arquette: Pizza can teach you everything you need to know about feminism

    Comedian and writer Akilah Hughes has come up with a brilliant, if cheesy, (sorry) way to explain intersectionality ? with pizza. In a YouTube video, Hughes uses pizza and burgers as a metaphor for women and men, respectively. The key is simple: men are burgers and women are pizza, yes, but beyond that, cheese pizza is equivalent to white women, and deluxe pizza is “any combination of gay, bi, trans, POC etc., women.”

    “Cheese pizzas are by far the most celebrated pizzas in society ? like, if you go anywhere, there’s going to be a cheese pizza on the menu,” Hughes says. “Cheese pizza is highly visible. Meanwhile, this is not the case for deluxe pizzas. Our features are often seen by the untrained eye as ‘extra weight’ and ‘too much of a problem,’ and we’re left to crumble because the crust does not support us.”

    er wut?

    1. That’s worthy of a Princeton master’s thesis.

      1. Or Rutgers.

        1. Sounds like something The Shame of Rutgers would write.

    2. “Lemme have a Super Social Justice Pizza with everything. Wait, hold the anchovies.”

      “Anchovies represent our trans brothers and sisters, and hermaphrodites.”

      “OK, OK, put the anchovies on the side so I can add them if I want.”

      “Oh, so you want to literally sideline trans people?”

      “OK, look, I’ll have a Class Struggle Enchilada and some White Guilt fries with ketchup to represent the blood spilled by the workers.”

    3. “Deluxe pizza” (by this author’s definition) is a guarantee of a hideous mishmash of flavors and textures with no focus and a soggy crust.

    4. we’re left to crumble because the crust does not support us

      Maybe it was because you faddish idiots insisted it be gluten free.

      1. The secret ingredient in gluten free pizza crust is tapioca. I just looked over a box of it the other day. For, er, scientific purposes.

    5. Wait, are we talking NY style or deep dish here?

  49. First ever true color pictures of Pluto released

    “Scientific literature is filled with papers on the characteristics of Pluto and its moons from ground based and Earth orbiting space observations, but we’ve never studied Pluto up close and personal,” said John Grunsfeld, associate administrator of the NASA Science Mission Directorate, in a news release. “In an unprecedented flyby this July, our knowledge of what the Pluto system is really like will expand exponentially and I have no doubt there will be exciting discoveries.”
    The fastest spacecraft ever launched, New Horizons has traveled a longer time and farther away-more than nine years and three billion miles-than any space mission in history to reach its primary target. The spacecraft is scheduled to make its flyby of Pluto and its at least five moons on July 14.
    The flyby is actually the final stage of a five-decade-long era of reconnaissance that began with Venus and Mars in the early 1960s, and continued through first looks at Mercury, Jupiter and Saturn in the 1970s and Uranus and Neptune in the 1980s.
    The spacecraft will reach the third zone of our solar system, which is beyond the inner, rocky planets and outer gas giants. While this has been a science priority for years, it’s only now that New Horizons is taking that final step.

    1. That’s pretty cool. In just a couple of months, we’ll see it up close and learn that it’s a pair of spaceships.

  50. Now the story is that it was his brother, not the mob, who beat up Harry Reid on New Year’s Eve.


    1. Redid (on McConnell): “He thinks coal is the salvation of the world.”

      As opposed to your ‘pro-science and rational’ side that believes in wind and solar, eh, you asshole?

      Give me coal any day.

  51. Here: http://www.wusa9.com/story/new…../25743495/

    Enjoy reading about every potential fuckup happening here and the sheriff being more concerned with finding out who leaked the story than exacting Justice,for a fully restrained woman that was razed until she was dead.

    1. Tazed

      1. wow – I thought maybe they flayed her Bolton style.

        1. STOP RESISTING!

  52. Um, trigger warning: Infowars.

    DHS to Purchase 62 Million More Rounds of AR-15 Ammo

    FTFSolicitation: for training/qualification only, not for duty use, and will be used as a direct substitution in lieu of procuring like quantities of duty ammunition

    Alrighty then.

    1. They use different ammo for training? We always used the same stuff in training and combat in the military.

    2. Time to stock up on ammo company stock!

  53. Here kitty, kitty: Photographer gets a bit too close to lion

    Next time bring a cardboard box for it to play with.

    1. Nice kitty. Good kitty.

    1. No mention of Bennett’s gambling or the conditioner Lopez needs so desperately.

    2. *jabs fork at OMWC*

      1. If you can’t take it, you’re too weak for HnR.

    3. I would note as well that his question would allow for no prohibition on the use of any drug. He, like many libertarians, fails to acknowledge that we are part of a broader society and that the actions we take have repercussions beyond ourselves.

      Bennett utilizing the externalities argument. He’s a proggie at heart.

      1. No, he is a conservative. The only difference between them is what they want to ban.

      2. That argument applies in theory to everything. My exhalation might lead to a hurricane, for instance.

        1. That’s the beauty of it.

          1. Since we all affect each other by the mere act of existing, we must cede all autonomy to the central government for collective coordination.

            Or maybe that’s a fucking stupid idea. I dunno.

    4. Kathryn Jean Lopez interviewing Bill Bennett is a dream come true.

      1. She probably lifted up her gunt, rummaged through her cubic foot of greasy pubic hair and rubbed one out after the interview was over. And then rushed to confession. She just just kept babbling, even after the priest killed himself out of boredom.

    5. You know, National Review really needs to get rid of Kathryn Jean Lopez. She’s just awful and I don’t think she adds anything to the website.

      Has anyone thought ‘hey, I need to share this Kathryn Jean Lopez article with all my friends?’

      1. They can’t fire the Catholic girl with Down’s… who else would hire her?

    6. Lopez asked ‘how would you sell this idea to libertarians’ and Bennett, being an idiot, said the following:

      “There are huge economic and social costs as a consequence of drug use. These costs are borne by everyone and are often paid for by government services. These increased health-care and treatment costs lead to a growth of government, which libertarians, in particular, should oppose. The consequences also manifest themselves in other ways, such as absenteeism and lost productivity in the workplace, work-related accidents, drunk-driving injuries and deaths, and the painful effects of addiction on family members. While we may never be able to fully reverse the burdens imposed on society by alcohol and tobacco users, that is hardly a reason to heap on significantly more social and economic damage so that some people can indulge their high in the name of freedom.”

      See, we need a massive overarching police state because otherwise weed use might cause a growth in government.


      1. So no mention of the cost of the WoD…

    7. The most horrible human in the world being interviewed by the stupidest human in the world.

      so Obama and one of his supporters?

  54. “Hillary Clinton may be running for president, but that won’t stop the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation from accepting donations from foreign governments.”

    The audacity of hopethe Clintons shouldn’t surprise anyone.

    Someone really should ask them if they intend to accept donations from foreign governments if and when Hillary wins and becomes President.

    Propriety suggests they would never do such a thing, but since when have the Clintons ever cared about propriety?

    1. Someone really should ask them if they intend to accept provide a good return on those donations from foreign governments if and when Hillary wins and becomes President.

  55. His race’s last hope: Only surviving male northern white rhino is put under armed guard 24 hours a day

    Sad. Another species wiped out because of economic illiteracy. “If only we had made the ivory trade super-duper illegal!”

    1. You know who else thought he was his race’s last hope?

      1. Ray Mancini?

  56. Democratic Senator Jeanne Shaheen introduces bill to replace Jackson on the $20 bill with a woman

    President Andrew Jackson could be getting the boot from the $20 if a legislative bill that puts a historical female icon in his place gets passed. Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH) introduced the Women on the Twenty Act, which would call for a “panel of citizens” to advise Treasury Secretary Jacob Lew on finding a replacement design. The bill goes hand-in-hand with the Women on 20s organization, whose goal is to see a female-focused redesign of the $20 just in time for the 100th anniversary of the 19th Amendment, which gave women the right to vote.

    According to Circa, the candidates for the spot are Eleanor Roosevelt, Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks and Cherokee Chief Wilma Mankiller.

    What, no Elizabeth Warren?

    1. What if we renamed him Andrew Bitchpuncher?

    2. What if he were to self-identify as a woman? We’d save a lot of money and hassle.

      1. Hey man, I’m a little short. Can you spot me a Mankiller?

      2. Mankiller wins.

        That is my thought. What better way to show justice than to replace the man that signed the Indian Removal Act with an Indian.

        My own pick would be Harriet Tubman or Rosa Parks.

        *I knew Wilma Mankiller and always the had the utmost respect for her.*

        1. Well, I was thinking more in the SJW sense, because “Mankiller” implies that men suck and need killing. And on the $20, which is the denomination of choice for most ATMs.

          1. Well, I was thinking more in the SJW sense, because “Mankiller” implies that men suck and need killing

            I was too, it kills two birds with one stone.

            1. The best things serve many functions. Mankiller it is.

        2. Mankiller is also the greatest name of all time.

          1. Only if it were Clovis Mankiller.

    3. I would hope the ghost of Jackson – the man that only tuberculosis, dropsy, and heart failure could kill – would put a bullet into this idea.

    4. Isn’t the dollar coin enough for these people?

      1. TWO dollar coins. Both Susan B and Sacawagea (sp?)

    5. Marilyn Monroe photo from her Playboy centerfold. That would stimulate savings!

    6. If I was in congress I would propose to have the guy who submitted the 19th amendment put on the $20. Too many people are caught up in this myth that women magically gave themselves the right to vote. Its a dumb rewrite of history that kills the lessons that could be learned on how actually to get new freedoms enforced in law.

      1. Say, exactly who did vote for women’s suffrage? I mean, women couldn’t vote, so it couldn’t have been women. I’m confused.

    7. Well, if you are going to take someone off of one of the bills, Jackson would probably be the best choice.

  57. You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole; you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole

  58. For those who may be interested: I highly recommend the new Daredevil series on Netflix.

    Well-written, well-acted, superb superhero TV.

    1. And it’s got Ayelet Zurer

    2. Don’t listen to this pancreatically divergent Foghorn Leghorn. Everyone watch BoJack Horseman.

      1. Don’t you have something you need to lift and then put down?

        1. Yes, and she’s refusing to eat her butternut squash. YOU LIKED THEM YESTERDAY YOU FUCKING STUPID CUNT BABY ASSHOLE

          1. Men with smaller testes than others are more likely to be involved in hands-on care of their toddlers, finds a new study by anthropologists at Emory University. The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences (PNAS) published the results of the study on Sept. 9.

            1. PNAS

              *giggles uncontrollably*

              1. I also thought that was a rapper.

          2. Butternut squash is gross.

            1. But it’s paleo!

              *drinks more CrossFit Koolaid*

              1. yeah the Paleos nuts started to lose me when potatoes were deemed okay (in some quarters).

              2. I think you meant FitAID, the hip, paleo-approved, not-energy-drink energy drink sweeping through boxes across the country.

      2. I recommend Scrotal Recall. It’s a real show on Netflix. It’s called Scrotal Recall.

      3. On a scale from 1 to Futurama, how good is Bojack Horseman?

        1. It’s on a level with the old, good Futurama episodes, honestly. It’s far better than the rebooted version.

          1. Sweet, I’ll give it a shot. Just finished watching the old seasons of Futurama, figured it was time to move on.

          2. Is it better than Space Ghost Coast to Coast?

            1. Is anything?

              1. No. In fact, I bet a lot of people voted for Obama in the mistaken belief that it was Brak, not Barack, running for office.

  59. And just to make up for my Bennett/Lopez link above, this is just a great story from perhaps the finest R&B guitarists on the planet.

    My Night With Gala Dali

    1. No sex? I thought she sexed up everyone.

      1. Randy is always discreet.

  60. Just for fun:

    horny mom threw teen daughter a naked twister sex party

    “Mrs. Lehnardt told [the sponsor] she and her daughter had spoken and that her daughter ‘felt guilty because the 16-year-old was 10 inches long and huge, and if she had just been able to take it, he wouldn’t have needed to rape her mother.'”

    I can’t even……


    1. Wow. Just… wow.

    2. I can’t even……

      That’s what SHE said.

    3. But Mommmmmm

      By Boyfriends cock is too big for me to handle, can you please fuck him for me

  61. Motel 6 will leave the light on for you, but that’s only so they can send your name to the police

    WARWICK, R.I. ? City police have arrested four people staying at the Motel 6 on Jefferson Boulevard as a result of the hotel chain’s agreement to provide police with a daily guest list, Mayor Scott Avedisian said Tuesday.

    The names of Motel 6 guests, which police then check for outstanding warrants, is one of five steps Motel 6 corporate managers agreed to take in response to a string of high-profile incidents and concerns the establishment was becoming a haven for passing criminals.

    The other measures listed in an agreement Motel 6 executives signed Tuesday include raising the minimum age to rent a room from 18 years old to 21, hiring a police detail every night, sharing their national “do not rent list” with police and conducting regular training, including on how to spot human trafficking.

    “We know everyone who is staying in the hotel tonight,” Avedisian said in a phone interview after a meeting with Motel 6 executives that also included Warwick police chief Col. Stephen M. McCartney and Seekonk, Mass., Town Administrator Shawn E. Cadime.

    1. Cue up a lawsuit and I hope the company gets fucked good and hard.

  62. These [SJW and privilege] conceptions are not only false. They echo the divisive propaganda of the capitalist class. Even if sections of the working and middle class buy into them, these ideas remain bourgeois ideology that serve the 1 Percent. The left must be able to recognize them as such.

    The divide-and-conquer soul of racism serves the material interests of one class only: the capitalists. In the words of the great abolitionist and former slave, Frederick Douglass, “They divided both in order to conquer each.”

    The smarter folk on the left know that the privilege/SJW/Trigger warning crowd is fucking up their movement by making them eat each other.


    A long read, but fun because of the inside look at how socialists view themselves and their history in general and some stuff I never knew about the origins of privilege thinking specifically.

    I got the link from a Trotskyite friend of mine whose been complaining about SJWs fragmenting the left into fiefdoms. Of course, we here in the commentariat have been ridiculing the SJW/privilege crowd for the inevitable search for victimhood superiority that was sure to evolve out if it.

    I wonder if this article shows a sense of self awareness creeping in to the overall leftist movement of if it’s too late to stop?

    1. Huh, that would be pretty interesting. I’ve been of the opinion that there was no way to fight back against SJWs, but if the left abandons them. They are screwed.

      1. Oh, there are ways. Google “Sad Puppies Hugo” or “Gamergate”.

    2. This assumption bought into the liberal capitalist idea that the size of the share of the economic pie available to workers is fixed and highly limited, and that different sub-groups of workers must fight against each other to expand their shares. (Emphasis mine)

      Apparently the zero-sum fallacy is now counterrevolutionary. I actually consider that progress.

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    1. oh it does sound unbelievable.

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