Obama Backs Senate Iran Legislation, No DEA Agents Fired for Drug Cartel Prostitution Parties, Dark Matter Mapped: A.M. Links

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  • The Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted unanimously in favor of legislation that sets forth how Congress can approve or reject a deal struck between international negotiatiors and Iran. President Obama says he's willing to sign the legislation, which went through a number of revisions.
    Dark Energy Survey
  • No Drug Enforcement Administration agents were fired for partying with Colombian hookers paid for by drug cartels.
  • Congress voted to prevent a cut in Medicare reimbursements to doctors and canceled the provision for cuts that's been suspended every year since 2002. President Obama said he'd be "proud" to sign the bipartisan measure.
  • Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, where she says her grandchild is a big reason she's running for president a second time.
  • A judge ruled jurors from the trial of convicted Boston Marathon bomber Dzokhar Tsarnaev could not attend future Boston Marathons or any rembrance events for the 2013 bombing.
  • The government of Cuba praised as "fair" the United States' decision to remove the country from the State Department's list of state sponsors of terrorism. 
  • Singer Percy Sledge died aged 74.
  • Researchers from the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology have created a map of the distribution of dark matter in the universe.

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  1. No Drug Enforcement Administration agents were fired for partying with Colombian hookers paid for by drug cartels.

    Did they at least fire the hookers?

    1. Hello.

      Any reason why the AM links were late by 21 seconds?

      /crosses arms.

      1. reason was delinquent in their prayers to the machine god.

        01111011 01000001 01110110 01100101
        00100000 01001101 01100001 01100011
        01101000 01101001 01101110 01100001
        00101100 00100000 01000010 01101100
        01100101 01110011 01110011 01100101
        01100100 00100000 01001111 01101101
        01101110 01101001 01110011 01110011
        01101001 01100001 01101000 01111101

        1. The Cult Mechanicus awaits the arrival of the omnissah.

          http://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Adeptus_Mechanicus

          1. He’s not the Omnimessiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

    2. No Drug Enforcement Administration agents were fired for partying with Colombian hookers paid for by drug cartels.

      Michele Leonhart’s hands were tied.

      *** bites lip ***

      1. Ew.

        Not that that immoral scumbag cares much, but seeing her getting yelled at by congresspeoples is fun.

        1. It’s also fun hearing her name mispronounced by the “news” people.

      2. You know, I don’t care. The scandal is that the DEA exists at all. Partying with some whores is probably one of the less evil things they do.

        1. ^ THIS

    3. The money shot on the news reel – the lady bureaucrat explaining to Congress why she can’t fire them (rules) – and nobody in Congress immediately proposed a bill to make them all at-will employees.

      1. That is a lie. They can totally be fired. It is not that hard to fire a federal employee. They get fired all of the time, even ones with tenure. You just have to follow the procedures. The reason why these guys were not fired is because doing so would give them a chance to defend themselves and give their side of the story. Not that that would vindicate them. It would likely, however, be embarrassing as hell to the agency. They didn’t just decide to start seeing hookers on that trip to Columbia. They likely had been doing it for years and the Agency had tolerated it. The agents’ defense in an administrative hearing would be unequal treatment. They would no doubt point out all of the cases where agents’ misconduct was ignored or even rewarded and rightfully ask why they are being fired when all of those agents were not. Firing these guys would air all of the Service’s dirty laundry.

        That is why they have not been fired. It has nothing to do with it being difficult. You could make them employees at will and they still would have jobs, because the threat of going public with the truth would have still prevented the Service from doing anything. This is about cowardice not the difficulty of firing employees.

        1. They don’t call it the *Secret* Service for nothing.

          1. Well this case is DEA, but maybe the D stands for ‘doublesecret’?

            1. Yeah, they all blur together.

  2. Researchers from the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology have created a map of the distribution of dark matter in the universe.

    Seems kind of racist.

    1. How could anyone think the Eidgen?ssische Technische Hochschule Z?rich would be anything but gentle and open and welcoming?!

      1. Deutsch der Sprechen von Lieb,

      2. You know who else spoke German and was kind of racist?

        1. Elisabeth Nietzsche?

        2. Rutger Hauer?

        3. Woodrow Wilson?

          1. Mata Hari?

    2. Gerrymandering?

    3. Would it be more sensitive to call it “matter of color”?

  3. A judge ruled jurors from the trial of convicted Boston Marathon bomber Dzokhar Tsarnaev could not attend future Boston Marathons or any rembrance events for the 2013 bombing.

    How is this legal?

    1. Yeah. What’s up with that?

      Thanks for your service and by the way you can’t come here anymore.

      1. The jurors are still serving – the death penalty phase of the trial will begin in a week, and they’ll be deciding whether to kill Tsarnaev. Only fair to keep the jurors away from memorial events until then.

      2. Apparently the jurors are still in the employ of the court for the penalty phase of the proceedings which are scheduled to start the day after the marathon. This is a form of sequester. The judge’s orders are not a lifetime prohibition.

        1. Despite what Reason would have you believe.

        2. Ah. All makes sense.

    2. How is this legal?

      If it is legal for the government to force you to check your religion at the office door, something like this shouldn’t matter perhaps?

      1. MISTRIAL!! 8-(

  4. No Drug Enforcement Administration agents were fired for partying with Colombian hookers paid for by drug cartels.

    Government work is God’s work.

    They were just doing God’s work.

    1. They are a force for good afterall

      1. Someone supposedly heard lots of “Oh, God!” chanting during the party.

        That is solid proof that they are a divine force for good.

        1. IIRC, Latina prostitutes usually use “?Dios Mio!” and “?Ay, Papi!”

          1. Only if you pay them enough…

            Basing on Secret Service prior history, it’s probably more like ‘time’s up, you cheap bastard’.

    2. How can these people punish the vices of others if they are punished for their own vices?

  5. Police: Woman breaks up with boyfriend by hitting him with bat

    Haley Fox, 24, met Samuel Campbell, 26, over the internet in 2011 and the two started dating. Police said Campbell agreed to move to Oregon last week from Alabama to live with Fox. The two met for the first time in person last Wednesday at Fox’s home in the 7000 block of Lipscomb Road SE in Marion County.

    While Campbell was outside the house drinking wine that night, Fox told him to close his eyes and that’s when she grabbed a baseball bat and struck him in the head with it, police said. She told investigators she didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore, and that’s why she decided to hurt him.

    1. “She told investigators she didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore, and that’s why she decided to hurt him.”

      That would do the trick…I mean, unless he was into that.

    2. That fellow has very good data for his hot/crazy decisions in the future.

    3. She’s just fighting the patriarchy one boyfriend at a time and I hear she’s into the rough stuff.

    4. He didn’t match his picture and profile.
      That deserves a paddlin’.

    5. The title sentence of your post would be better without the colon, which is how I chose to read it.

    6. [They met] over the internet in 2011 and the two started dating. Police said Campbell agreed to move to Oregon last week from Alabama to live with Fox. The two met for the first time in person last Wednesday at Fox’s home

      So, no, they started dating last Wednesday, not in 2011.

      1. people are something.

        1. My general rule was that if you don’t met someone within about a week and a half of messaging them, you’re doing online dating wrong.

  6. Peter Capaldi’s Doctor Who must decide whether to murder a child in the dark first episode of series nine

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs…..-nine.html

    1. Everybody kills Child Hitler their first time.

      1. Even Hitler eventually killed Hitler.

        1. Oh you funny bugger!

        2. You know who else killed Hitl- goddammit.

          1. Brad Pitt?

          2. His art teacher?

          3. Jews. They killed him ‘inside’.

      2. I’m sorry, I meant “Joseph Goebbels’ Nazi Babies’ Child Hitler.”

        1. Sounds like a toy range

    2. Was there a paper jam?

      1. *Here* is how to fix a paper jam –

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=giuI0e-wqIc

    3. They admit they’re recycling a theme from Genesis of the Daleks.

      1. I’m thinking he might do it. The actor who played the voice of the Daleks died. Last year I think. So they may be retiring the race altogether.

          1. They already erased all information of the Doctor from the Daleks’ memories. Why not kill them all off, or better yet prevent them from ever existing?

            1. Is the BBC really going to cut off one of its revenue streams? Dalek coffee mugs, Dalek pencil-holders, Dalek salt-shakers…

              1. People will still buy that stuff. Besides, with time travel they can always undo what they did. Or would that fall into one of those unchangeable events in the timey wimey thing?

                1. Do you have any idea how many times the Daleks were wiped out “for good”?

                  1. It turns out that the Daleks were simply pining for the fjords.

        1. Or fundamentally changing them so they can justify using a different voice.

  7. World’s oldest tools discovered: Stone flakes made by human ancestor 3.3 million year ago may rewrite evolutionary history
    Archaeologists have found 20 stones shaped by early humans using ‘simple techniques’ close to the west shore of Lake Turkana in Kenya
    The tools are thought to be 500,000 years older than the first Homo species
    They are also 700,000 years older than other stone tools found previously
    Scientists say it could reshape ideas about how our own species evolved

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sci…..story.html

    1. Why assume it is the work of a human ancestor? Could be from some other dead end branch of the hominid tree.

      These guys find a tooth or a stone flake and then spend hours telling us about what kind of day the creature had. I think they just try to make their work seem sexy. If you really find that subject interesting, which I do, then there is no need to glamorize or embellish.

      1. there is no need to glamorize or embellish

        I assume it gets them more funding.

        1. Scientists NEVER embellish or reach certain conclusions that just happen to increase their budget. That’s crazy talk.

        1. Previously discovered by Marshal, Will, and Holly.

      2. there is no need to glamorize or embellish.

        I smell a ‘Warty Hugeman and the Toolbox of Cocks’ time adventure in the wind…

        1. I hope you don’t mean that literally.

          1. Literally, everyone would smell it. There would be no escaping it.

            1. That’s what I was afraid of.

      3. I think that they have an idea of which species created the tools and are pretty sure it is a human ancestor. Also, it’s the Daily Mail.

      4. These guys find a tooth or a stone flake and then spend hours telling us about what kind of day the creature had. I think they just try to make their work seem sexy. If you really find that subject interesting, which I do, then there is no need to glamorize or embellish.

        First because most anthropologist/archaeologists genuinely want to understand how life worked back in the day, and creating those characterizations is a natural (if unscientific) result. Also, because they know not everyone is as interested as you. Creating a full character is a way of drawing in those who need some FEELZ with their science.

    2. The tools are thought to be 500,000 years older than the first Homo species

      So, no homo?

  8. Mystery of the giant arrows scattered across the States: Travellers bemused by 70ft relics from a bygone age of American air travel
    Hikers often stumble upon the unusual concrete markers and wonder why they were built
    The arrows directed the first air mail planes across the US to deliver post
    They lay at the bottom of lit beacons and showed pilots the direction to fly in to arrive at the next air field
    While they are no longer used, many lie forgotten until they are found by arrow-hunting fans

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tra…..erica.html

    1. No way, man! They are steering the Greys to their landing pads!!11!11!one!1oneoneeleventy!11

      *tightens foil hat, looks for more foil from Tonio*

      1. Tonio hasn’t been around in a while, has he?

        I haven’t seen anything from him since around the time Hillary announced her campaign.

        Coincidence?

        1. no, Tonio’s fine, he just went apeshit over the pizza thing.

          1. He is my foil dealer….I hope he is OK!

  9. ?34million hoard of silver coins sent to the bottom of the sea by the Nazis is discovered aboard sunken steamboat at a record depth of 17,000ft by British treasure hunters
    SS City of Cairo sunk by U-boat en route from Bombay to England in 1942
    100 tons of rupees belonging to the UK Treasury thought to be lost forever
    Finally tracked down by British-led team using powerful sonar and robotics
    Recovered from a depth of 17,000ft ? some 4,500ft deeper than the Titanic

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..nters.html

    1. “DOS has left a plaque commemorating their find on the sea bed.”

      For Cthulhu to read or what?

      1. No shit. How many people are going to be strolling by at 17k feet deep?

        1. BLUE HADES, that’s about it. I just hope the Brits didn’t violate the Benthic Treaty in the process.

      2. I don’t know. Probably something about honoring the dead.

        And maybe some intelligent beings will dig it up in millions of years. I’m sure it will be interesting for them.

    2. 100 tons of rupees belonging to the UK Treasury

      Just in time to plug this year’s budget shortfall.

  10. Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, where she says her grandchild is a big reason she’s running for president a second time.

    These people have no decency. Using your grandchild as a prop.

    DISGUSTING.

    1. Does this mean she’d rather not spend time with her grandchild?

      1. I imagine her babysitting style is very similar to Malory Archer’s.

        1. Except that gash wouldn’t have the decency of Mallory to rub the baby’s gums with bourbon.

    2. Hillary’s campaign manager explains all.

      1. That was funny.

      2. That was spectacular!

      3. Well done.

    3. Good grief Injun. That is the least of the things she has done showing she has no shame or decency.

      1. Here’s the thing. I here the local democrats in my area calling for removing the cap on payroll taxes. So it’s OUR grandkids who will really get screwed by stuff like that. Hillary’s grandkid is born with a silver spoon in his/her mouth and won’t have problems getting a $1.8 Million NBC do-nothing gig, but ours will pay for it.

      2. Yeah. Using kids or grandkids as props is to be expected. Of course they have no decency. The sun rose in the east this morning.

    4. Agreed.

    5. It’s probably in the baby’s best interests if she is not available to babysit.

  11. Hillary Clinton’s ‘Scooby van’ is a beast! Presidential hopeful’s armored Chevrolet van with tinted windows is finally spotted as she stops for coffee
    ‘We’re here to see the queen,’ one protester told Daily Mail Online outside a rural community college in Monticello, Iowa
    He shouted ‘Give the Saudi money back!’ as Clinton arrived at Kirkwood Community College ? referring to millions her family foundation accepted
    Hillary Clinton will visit the school on Tuesday in the first semi-public event of her presidential campaign
    Her armored campaign van, nicknamed ‘Scooby,’ has finally been photographed in the wilds of the American midwest after a 1,000-mile trip
    It arrived at her campaign stop tailed by a black Humvee
    Reporters snapped pics of the former secretary of state at a coffee shop in Le Claire, Iowa

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..-site.html
    A woman of the people.

    1. [Insert Dumb and Dumber van jokes here]

      1. Are those your ski’s? Both of ’em?

      2. That John Denver is full of shit.

    2. http://www.ijreview.com/2015/0…..n=Politics

      I noticed students pressed up against the glass in their classrooms so I took this photo. I learned later that they had been locked down for Hillary’s arrival.

      Some animals are more equal than others.

      1. Why do all of the student s accept that they can be ‘locked down’ just because some politician is around? What the hell?

        1. What choice do they have? The cops will beat them up or kill them if they attempt to leave their prison.

          1. Not if all of them refuse to be detained. The fact that none even protest and meekly accept being unlawfully detained is rater disturbing.

            1. Isn’t the whole purpose of being a student to be detained all day?

              1. “Isn’t the whole purpose of being a student to be detained all day?”

                Yes, so they can unlearn self-will and replace it with an almost fanatical devotion to the State.

            2. The fact that none even protest and meekly accept being unlawfully detained is rater disturbing.

              Yeah, I’ve been saying that about the TSA since the buggers were first spawned.

      2. The arrogance of fucking politicians is just disgusting. It’s just no big deal to them to disrupt the lives of thousands of people so they can make some shitty campaign speech.

        If you require that much security, you shouldn’t be allowed in public. And you should pay for it yourself. The fucking secret service is subsidizing Hillary’s campaign.

        A friend of mine rents his house from Charlie Bass (former NH Rep.). The house is right next to Charlie’s house. During the last election there was a Romney event at Charlie’s house and my friend noticed some strange men near his house, coming out of the woods. He was going to get his gun and investigate, but fortunately for him he realized that they were probably secret service and would have shot him.
        People’s lives are at risk so that arrogant politicians can do whatever the fuck they want at everyone else’s expense.

        1. Politicians wouldn’t need security if they didn’t give people good reason to want them dead.

          1. ^^^^I am stealing this.

        2. Back in the day, there was an Al Gore fundraiser down the street from my parents’ house. With all the armed men running around, it was a little like watching the invasion of Grenada. Then they left a .22 bullet lying in the street when they rolled out.

  12. Congress voted to prevent a cut in Medicare reimbursements

    To be paid for by….?

    1. You, me, all of us ripe sucks known as taxpayers.

      1. Hey. What do you mean taxpayer?

        That dirty word is being eliminated in the next edition of the Newspeak dictionary!

        New Republic writer calls for eliminating the word ‘taxpayer’

        1. We should eliminate the word eliminate as it is eliminationist rhetoric.

          1. All praise our constipated future

            1. No shit!

        2. Is there any subject that that woman can’t make even stupider?

    2. We are going to whore your tender pink asshole out the Saudis.

      1. Do you really think it’s tender and pink? I suspect a combination of fissures and calluses.

    3. Congress voted to prevent a cut in Medicare reimbursements to doctors and canceled the provision for cuts that’s been suspended every year since 2002. President Obama said he’d be “proud” to sign the bipartisan measure.

      Money magically and spontaneously manifests itself.

      It is an infinite, renewable resource that comes out of nowhere.

      1. + 1 trillion dollar coin

      2. Of course he’s happy to. This won’t affect the score that CBO gives Obamacare anymore.

    4. I mentioned it a few times, Paul voted yes, which disturbs me.

  13. More than 2 MILLION of Hillary Clinton’s Twitter followers are fake or never tweet ? and she’s already under fire for ‘buying’ fake Facebook fans
    Two different online audit tools say no more than 44 per cent of Hillary’s 3.6 million Twitter fans are real people who participate in the platform
    The newly minted presidential candidate is fending off accusations that her Facebook page is full of fake ‘likes’
    Her Facebook fan base includes more people from Baghdad, Iraq than any US city
    When she was secretary of state, her agency paid $630,000 to bulk up its Facebook likes, but pledged to stop after she left

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..tweet.html

    1. Still 44% too many.

    2. her agency paid $630,000 to bulk up its Facebook likes

      Her agency as in “taxpayers”? Happy April 15!

      1. I don’t know know how much the Clinton Clan will shell out to live in big house, but I’m betting it’s in the $1.5 to $2 billion range. And if history is any guide, they’ll spend it really supidly on the advice of really expensive consultants and bootlickers.

        Today’s example: the “Social Media Consultant” told them to buy a 600 grand worth of fictional people to make her look more popular – probably from the consultant’s cronies.

        So – How can I get on this gravy train?

        1. I don’t know know how much the Clinton Clan will shell out to live in big house, but I’m betting it’s in the $1.5 to $2 billion range.

          I’ve heard $2.5BB.

  14. Unbelievable police dashcam footage captures moment Arizona cop mounts sidewalk and SMASHES into armed suspect, sending him flying into the air
    Footage shows Mario Valencia walking along a street in Marana, Arizona
    Alleged robber points item that appears to be rifle into air; shot rings out
    Seconds later, Officer Michael Rapiejko starts speeding toward Valencia
    His police car mounts the sidewalk, before crashing into armed suspect
    Valencia taken to hospital with serious injuries; released two days later
    Police chief has defended officer’s actions, which saved ‘Valencia’s life’
    Suspect had allegedly stolen rifle from Walmart and threatened suicide
    Comes as US police remain under scrutiny for alleged racially profiling

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..g-air.html
    “You want to commit suicide motherfucker? Not if I kill you first!”

    1. Well, they must have figured he was going to kill himself anyway, so why waste a chance to practice their trade?

    2. I don’t necessarily have a problem with this. Guy’s shooting his gun around outside in public, you don’t know what he’s planning to do.

    3. Uhhhhh….I am pretty sure I would have run him over as well.

      Had a guy behaving exactly like that around here about 30 years ago. He ended up killing a dozen innocent people before he finally offed himself.

    4. Good, umm, crash?

      Seriously, this guy fits the definition of “imminent danger to others.”

    1. I see I am late to the party.

    2. How amazing would it have been if one of the kids pressed up against the window just started yelling, “Boys! Boys, avenge me! AVENGE! ME!”

      1. Ok. This here? This is why I love this place.

  15. Congress voted to prevent a cut in Medicare reimbursements to doctors and canceled the provision for cuts that’s been suspended every year since 2002.

    And they’re going to pay for it by cutting their own pensions!

  16. Male model joins ISIS, gets killed. Insert Zoolander jokes here

    1. GAS FIGHT!

      1. +1 Blue Steel

    2. What is this?! A Caliphate for ants?!

      1. This jihad needs to be like 3′ bigger!

  17. Charges dropped against man dressed as Cookie Monster for groping teen since prosecutors aren’t sure they nabbed right costumed character

    A Times Square costumed character suspected of groping a teenage girl was let go Tuesday because prosecutors weren’t sure they nabbed the Cookie Monster, law enforcement sources said Tuesday.

    A man dressed as the beloved Sesame Street character was arrested Monday after allegedly groping a 16-year-old girl’s breast, police said.

    …snip…

    The victim, who is from Wisconsin, told cops the costumed creep then put his arms around her and said, “I love you, honey,” a police source said.

    But the Manhattan District Attorney’s Office declined to prosecute Perez, with a law enforcement source noting an identification issue as the reason for dropping the case.

    1. Cops: “Y’all look alike to me!”

    2. The Coochie monster strikes again.

    1. I wonder how else it might be used, aside from stoners trying to hook up.

  18. Florida plans to give hunters another shot at pythons in 2016

    Wanted: savvy hunter, tolerant of bloodthirsty mosquitoes, immune to muggy heat, able to traipse through razor-sharp sawgrass and ? most important ? unafraid of snakes.

    Florida wildlife officials announced Monday the return of the “Python Challenge,” a monthlong hunt that in 2013 that was wildly successful ? at least in terms of drawing out-of-town reporters and TV crews who helped raised the profile of one of the state’s most destructive and wily invaders. The hunt itself did not put a major dent in the Burmese python population, with 1,600 hunters bagging 68 snakes.

    1. If they’re not catching many snakes, then maybe the population estimates are a bit exaggerated.

      1. Mounty Python’s got ’em all into their holding pens and free range snake farms first.

      2. The reason they hold the hunt in the winter is because pythons are nocturnal, except when it gets cold they come out in the day to sun. 2013 was a warm winter so that is my guess why there weren’t many snakes taken. I’m hoping for a cold January in 2016.

        But this doesn’t discount scientist wildly exaggerating a crisis for more funding.

      3. I think it is hard to say. It’s pretty hard to find snakes in the world’s biggest swamp.

        1. Oh I found plenty of snakes, just not pythons.

          1. Being ambush hunters, that makes them more difficult to find. That and they’re pretty lazy when they’re not hungry.

    2. Bless you my lord. I went in 2013 and was disappointed it wasn’t an annual thing. I can’t wait to go next year.

      1. A H&R meetup to hunt snakes would be good for some larfs.

        1. And tears if I brought my wife. She loves snakes.

          1. I doubt we would capture any. Instead I imagine myself in a drunken stupor, falling into swamps, and keeping my sphincter clenched from a possible STEVE SMITH attack.

            1. THAT NOT HELP. IN FACT, EXCITES STEVE SMITH!

              1. STEVE SMITH LOVE SMOOTH FEEL OF PYTHON CONDOMS!

                1. That’s not a python sliding up your ass, that’s STEVE SMITH!!!

            2. NO SPHINCTER CAN CLENCH TIGHT ENOUGH!

          2. And tears if I brought my wife. She loves snakes.
            I love animals too. The only reason I hunt the Python is because it is invasive and destructive.

            1. She keeps pythons as pets. Not Burmese, but still. She loves her snakes.

              I understand and agree with your point of view, but she wouldn’t.

              1. So, is it true they taste like chicken?

        2. A H&R meetup to hunt snakes would be good for some larfs.

          that would be tha titz!

          1. +1 Girl Next Door

    3. Springfield does this once a year too.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whacking_Day

    4. I was in the Everglades last summer, and a guide on a boat tour out of the Flamingo visitor center told us that the last hunt was such a failure that they had to mount more search-and-rescue operations than they caught snakes.

      1. Iris super easy to get lost in the back country. That’s why they cancelled it. But they made a ton of money. I’m guessing that’s why it is coming back.

        1. I’ll go if they can get me a key lime milkshake from Robert is Here.

          1. You will get warm whiskey out of a sports bottle and like it!

            1. That’s fine, so long as there is a key lime milkshake in the mix.

              1. Deal!
                /sucker, milkshakes can’t survive in the Everglades.

                1. That’s where you’re wrong. While not in the park, Robert is Here is in the Everglades. One must simply store the milkshake in one’s gut. Unless you’re wearing a milkshake stillsuit.

    5. Descended from the Gods themselves, Florida Man answers the call whenever needed. Be it snake or gator or Canucki invader, he stands resolute. Side by side, brothers in arms. Marching through the Everglades, machetes strapped to their hip, a cold Bud Light in their hands. Sharing stories of glories past: The repelling of the snowbirds at Tampa. The turning back of the negroes at Black Biker Week seven years earlier. Scars on display as badges of honor. They march through the Humid Gates to hunt the Ophidian invader and remove him from the land of their fathers.

      1. We’re breeding a warrior class here, all in the service of the Mouse.

  19. Do the new Cleveland Browns uniforms leave you feeling, let down?

    1. Never was much for the orange/brown motif color pattern. Still reminds me too much of going into an old lady’s home circa 1976.

      1. In sports, there is way too much blue and red, so brown and orange is different at least…

        but still ugly.

    2. No worse than the Bucs’ stupid uniforms. I liked the old red and pewter.

    3. I preferred the old ones. Of course, I preferred the old Browns. I guess it’s better to change the uniforms to remind us that this team is a bunch of impostors. Fuck Art Modell.

      But that BROWNS on the pants. Ugh. Brutal.

  20. Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, where she says her grandchild…

    What about Bill’s grandchildren?

    1. I don’t think most of those are Hillary’s

  21. Man shoots at armadillo, bullet hits mother-in-law

    The shooting happened Sunday night on Gosa Road.

    Lee County Sheriff’s deputies said 54-year-old Larry McElroy was outside when he fired his 9 mm pistol at the armadillo. The bullet killed the animal, but also ricocheted off of it, hit a fence, went through the back door of his mother-in-law’s mobile home, through a recliner she was sitting in, and into her back.

    According to a report, McElroy was about 100 yards away from the home at the time.

    riiiiggghtt…

    1. No really! I saw this in a Bugs Bunny cartoon once…I think it was Yosemite Sam who ended up shooting himself thusly.

    2. C’mon Cleveland. Really?

      http://www.cleveland.com/metro…..ccuse.html

      1. Fuck. That was meant for the bottom of the thread.

  22. Dashcam video shows Arizona officer intentionally running over suspect

    In one video, an officer who was tailing Valencia at slow speed reports over the radio that the suspect has fired one round in the air with a rifle he is accused of stealing that morning from a Walmart.

    Another patrol car zooms past, runs into the man from behind then hits a short cinder block wall next to a driveway. Video from Officer Michael Rapiejko’s camera shows the officer running the man over and the windshield smashing as the car hits the wall.

    “Oh Jesus Christ. Man down,” the officer in the first car says.

    Police in Marana, which is about a half-hour from Tucson, have justified Rapiejko’s actions.

    1. I think this was a good one. Fucker was shooting randomly? Better to run him over than to start shooting as well.

  23. Holy fuck

    Transgender ‘toxic tush’ victim Rajee Narinesingh steps out showing off new face repaired by doctors after injections of cement and tire sealant left her disfigured

    1. John would.

      1. Imagine if Charo had been stung by 10,000 bees.

        1. Coochie, coochie, eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwww!

        2. and a penis?

          1. If your penis has a stinger, you ought to go see a doctor.

            1. It had a couple, but I got better.

            2. I’ll have you know, those are spines to prevent others from mating with her.

  24. China growth slowest in six years, more stimulus expected soon

    China grew at its slowest pace in six years at the start of 2015 and weakness in key sectors suggested the world’s second-largest economy was still losing momentum, intensifying Beijing’s struggle to find the right policy mix to shore up activity.

    Measures to support the property sector and a series of cuts in interest rates and bank reserve requirements look to have delivered less support to the economy than hoped, apart from feeding a stock market surge, raising expectations of more stimulus soon.

    1. Oh shit. If they start having to write down all the bullshit army owned companies, its going to get ugly.

      1. I got to tour one of Norinco’s factories a couple of years ago. Not.one of the gun factories, sadly. Those state owned enterprises are sooooo shitty.

        1. I’ve read credible estimates that the bad money on the books as still performing is on the order of their entire foreign currency surplus. Its going to be a fucking disaster if they ever have to competitively seek foreign investment.

          1. There are so many shitty factories over there that are owned and run by favored Party members. They are basically money laundering opportunities for these fortunate cronies to enrich themselves. The government enacts a policy that it needs more of Chemical X or Y, throws a shitload of money at a few cronies, and as long as they meet aggregate production targets, who cares what they do with the money?

            There is also a trend of hoovering up lots of these formerly small “enterprises” and handing them all over to *very* well connected cronies.

    2. They just didn’t spend enough last year.

  25. Authorities: Knight chairman paid to have drugs planted; ‘whereabouts unknown’

    Knight Oil Tools executive Mark Knight has been notified of the warrant issued for his arrest, authorities say.

    Two law enforcement officers and a high-ranking Lafayette oil executive have been accused of scheming to have a Lafayette man, the oil executive’s brother, arrested last year by planting drugs in his car.

    Authorities say the June 2014 arrest of Bryan Knight was the result of a scheme in which Mark Knight of Knight Oil Tools paid more than $100,000 in cash and gifts to two officers and to Russell Manual, a Knight employee, a news release from Lafayette Parish Sheriff’s Office and Louisiana State Police said.

  26. Swedes launch first doughnut into space

    That was the dream of a Swedish science group called Stratolys. The budding scientists used a weather balloon to send a doughnut soaring into the edge of space – about 19 miles above the earth’s surface.

    Naturally, they recorded their adventure using a camera-containing Styrofoam box that was attached to the massive, helium-filled balloon, and posted the video on YouTube for all the world to see.

    The result is surprisingly spectacular.

    1. In other news Chris Christie now proposes increasing NASA’s budget by 500%.

      1. The police unions fully support this initiative.

        1. I’m confused why people who would want to eat donuts would want those donuts sent into orbit.

          1. Something something this?

  27. Hipsters in paradise

    Since buying the Utah backwater two years ago, Powder’s owners ? a group of entrepreneurs, most of them around 30 years old with no experience in resort development ? have hosted several of these salon-inspired “weekend jams” on the mountain they plan to develop, as well as a Pay for Success symposium with the White House, off-site retreats for Patagonia and the Knight Foundation, and the country’s first fat-biking national championships.

    This summer, they plan to break ground on a public village envisioned as a next-generation alpine town. Picture a vehicle-free Main Street lined with farm-to-table restaurants and pop-up stores and co-working spaces and second-story condos. It will have funding for public art and only environmentally responsible hotels; naturally, the cafes will provide almond milk without your having to ask for it. A mash-up of postmillennial civic and lifestyle ideas, with an ethos of social entrepreneurism: Telluride meets the Mission District, perhaps.
    .
    It’s like Burning Man, only with central planning.

    1. Inside of six months, they will be eating each other.

    2. “the country’s first fat-biking national championships”

      Wait…what?!

      1. Fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go ’round.

          1. “Get on your bikes and ride!”

    3. I wonder how much outside cash is required to keep this bullshit going. Utopias are the perpetual motion machines of social and economic engineering.

      I will go visit after the place has been taken over by rats and tumbleweeds.

    4. Telluride meets the Mission District, perhaps.

      So, it’ll be snowy but filthy? The air will be thin and homeless people will be laying on storm grates with needles in their arms? People wearing one shoe will be literally taking a shit in a doorway?

      I think this guy needs to visit the Mission District to show him what it’s like. Because describing that as an ideal probably won’t get you too many visitors.

    5. Elliott Bisnow, a Powder Mountain owner, explained:

      “What Tesla did to cars, we’re going to do with towns!”

      I imagine they, too, have visions of nine-digit subsidies for a status symbol that can only be enjoyed by the pampered rich.

  28. Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, where she says her grandchild is a big reason she’s running for president a second time.

    Yeah, poor helpless thing is going to grow up with au pairs in a $200 million New York luxury apartment. How stupid does this woman think voters are? And how right is she?

  29. Jonah Goldberg: Hillary Shouldn’t Count On the Obama Coalition to Carry Her to the White House

    Most political pros agree that Clinton will need a huge turnout from the Obama coalition to win. The bad news is that, so far, the Obama coalition is like a non-transferable, single-purpose coupon that can only be used to get Obama elected president. Clinton advocates insist we don’t know that yet, which is true. But all the evidence looks bad for Clinton.

    After he was re-elected, Obama turned his campaign operation, Organizing for America, into a de facto personal political party with the sole aim of mobilizing his coalition to support his agenda. In the wake of the Sandy Hook school shooting, the newly renamed Organizing for Action made gun control a priority. Obama arguably set the bar for political success low, demanding a congressional vote on his proposals ? not actual passage. He made this appeal the emotional centerpiece in his 2013 State of the Union address. Organizing for Action manned the phones, took to the Twitterverse, made a lot of noise on cable TV and . . . nothing happened.

    1. I can’t see any scenario where Hillary gets the kind of black turnout Obama got. Also, she won’t get 95% of their vote anyway. Most importantly, she is likely to get fewer whites and fewer Hispanics than Obama got. The “Hispanics are going to create a socialist state” dream seems to be fizzling as Hispanics who made it to the middle class are not voting Democrat in the same numbers as blacks do.

      1. She’s hoping to covert the “vote for a black guy” vote into a “vote for a woman” vote. But for the most part it just isn’t going to happen.

        1. I have never thought it would. There just isn’t the same dynamic about a woman president there is about a black one. No one but feminist hags who are going to vote Democrat anyway is thinking “gee I always wanted to vote for a woman President” the way various guilty, stupid white people were saying that about voting for a black President.

          She is a terrible politician and she won’t be able to rely on being a woman. That said, she still might win as the Democratic media machine will do anything to get her sorry ass elected. They won’t be able to build her up or let people project their hopes onto her the way they did Obama in 08. So it will be a repeat of 2012; an all out assault on whoever is the GOP nominee. No lie or dirty trick will be off limits.

          1. I think there is the same dynamic for a woman president as there was for a black president, but Hillary works to counteract that by being a horrid politician and general human being.

            You have to actively hold your nose to vote for Hillary, with BO you just had to fill in a lot of blank space with ‘Hope and Change’.

        2. The thing is the woman vote isn’t like the black vote. The black vote has tons of people who live and were raised in communities together. You can make a coalition from that group that keeps voting the same way. The woman vote on the other hand exists in every segment of America. I have nothing in common with Amanda Marcotte who in turn has nothing in common with Sarah Palin, and to expect any one of the three of us to vote the same way just because we are women is delusional on the part of Hillary and her backers.

          1. Delusional and sexist.

  30. ——

    The village will become the base of the ski resort, and in addition to bars, restaurants and what the organizers call a “curated artisanal retail experience,” there are plans for education facilities, a culinary school, an innovation lab and a recording studio. Powder’s owners are in closing discussions with several boutique hotel groups.

    The overarching design eschews ersatz Bavaria for a rustic-chic aesthetic that Mr. Rosenthal characterized as “organic modernism.”

    I can’t wait.

    1. “organic modernism.”

      Outdoor toilets with usb plugs?

    2. A playground for rich leftists – sign me up.

      1. When I get my avalanche-creating doomsday machine working, I know who gets to host the beta test.

  31. Blood money, killer cops: How privatization is funding the racist logic of America’s police
    What do police violence in Oklahoma and NYC have in common? An infusion of private cash and a culture of death

    There is something about the logics of self-governance under the terms of neoliberalism that make this moment feel more pessimistic than our trite narrative of linear progress on racial issues would have us conclude. In 2012, the United Arab Emirates gave $1 million to the New York City Police Foundation. According to an NYPD spokesperson, the money was used to upgrade equipment and aid in criminal investigations. In both New York City and Tulsa, private funding of police departments significantly impacts the way local policing is done. In Tulsa, it results in the pay-to-play scheme. In New York City, it allows for large infusions of cash donations whose specific uses do not come under public scrutiny because they are private funds.

    These forms of neoliberal policing ? in which private citizens and private monies impact the culture of policing but escape governmental checks and balances ? endanger us all.

    1. “In 2012, the United Arab Emirates gave $1 million to the New York City Police Foundation.”

      Someone needs to tell Salon that the United Arab Emirates is not a ‘private’ institution.

      1. You mean it’s not the private property of the Emirs?

        1. By that logic every dictatorship is a private entity, rather than a state.

      2. And the problem is the dirty evil money not the police union. We create a system where the employee unions run the police force but the problem somehow is the money not giving the employees the authority to run their employers.

    2. “Our Lord and Savior government can do no harm, so it must be the private money making cops act like they have always acted.”

  32. It’s Tax-plicated: Complexity Rising with Obamacare Burden

    3,322 pages of legal guidance for Obamacare (or the ACA) added to IRS.gov (1,077 pages of regulations, 1,377 pages of Treasury decisions, 669 notices, 100 revenue procedures, and 12 revenue rulings).

    Until the existing tax code is abolished, no incumbent should be re-elected.

    1. Until the existing tax code is abolished, no incumbent should be re-elected.

      I would vote for someone running on that single issue.

    2. A friend of mine who is solidly left PhD in the soft sciences was bemoaning her 40 minute phone call with the Obamacare people that left her with no answers and one of her friends made a comment that because it was “implemented by Republicans, it wasn’t a real government program.” I laughed my ass off. My own comment was, “aren’t you glad that healthcare and student loans are run by the government? No matter how bad the service they can never go out of business.”

      1. implemented by Republicans, it wasn’t a real government program.

        What? Does that person vote?

        1. I’m hoping not, but the original poster is probably the most conservative — read as soft left — of the department she is in. Her friend was advocating Universal Government Healthcare as a “real” governmet program.

    3. But shriek said Obamacare is like 10 pages and affects literally nobody!

    4. Yesterday, my left-of-Liawatha daughter said to me that she hates the complexity of taxes and supports a flat tax! As a lawyer-lawyer household in their first year of serious income it is finally hitting home to her that the government is stealing so much of her hard-earned money and making it ridiculously difficult to comply as well. She proposed 10% of all income, no deductions!

      She has many libertarian ideas, but once said “I’ll vote for whichever Dem is running,” and gets seriously disturbed when (R) appears next to a name.

      Any advice on how I can subtly influence her to vote her philosophy rather than as a signal to her millenial friends?

      1. Get a Wayback Machine, and do a better job influencing her as a child.

      2. She is on her path to enlightenment. No need to push.

        You seem, however, to be trying to shill for the GOP. I would suggest bringing up examples from both parties of policy that is counter to her philosophy.

      3. You should berate her daily about the areas where she’s wrong. Shame her as often as possible in public when she shows sympathy for someone and proposes government solve the problem. Lastly, kick her out of the house and tell her to start practicing what she preaches.

        That should turn her to your side in short order.

      4. This is a bit childish but I’ve often thought about doing it for some of my friends that exhibit the same symptoms as your daughter. Create an issue card with the ten things she cares about in the Y-axis and hide the names of a cross-section of candidates on the X-axis.

        “Dad, who the hell is ‘Gary Johnson?'”

      5. “Yesterday, my left-of-Liawatha daughter said to me that she hates the complexity of taxes and supports a flat tax!”

        It isn’t the brackets that makes taxes complicated…

      6. One of my best friends is French; we met when she was a socialist grad student, very enthusiastic about the impending election of Hollande. (Don’t judge – she was cute!) Eighteen months later, after a modest dose of working life – mostly in the States, at that – she had become quasi-libertarian.

        Which is to say, if your daughter is clued in enough that the real world is already changing her mindset, you probably don’t need to do anything.

        1. Unless she becomes a government lawyer… they tend to be very dem.

  33. College sports programs won’t sell sponsorships for tampons ? but Koch Industries is totally cool
    Several universities have made lucrative deals with the fossil fuel corporation, despite student resistance

    The top three highest paid state employees in Texas are university football coaches. Each makes well over $2 million annually. This is because college athletics programs are extraordinarily lucrative, and can bring in massive sponsorship revenue. That’s especially true when sponsorships come from companies such as Koch Industries, which recently partnered with the marketing company that represents the massive athletics programs at Texas A&M and Oklahoma State Universities, as well as over a dozen other schools.

    A Think Progress investigation of Texas A&M and Oklahoma State’s contracts with the athletics marketing company Learfield Sports discovered an interesting catch to the company’s rules for selling sponsorships. Despite allowing multimillion-dollar sponsorships from a company run by people that have already spent millions to eclipse all non-delusional-right-wing political efforts, Learfield has a prohibition on deals with the makers of feminine hygiene products, contraception and other prophylactics, and erectile dysfunction medication. But, again, Koch Industries is A-OK.

    1. A Think Progress investigation

      Stop.Right.There

    2. “A Think Progress investigation”

      To quote sage,

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    3. I see rampant sexism.

      Koch sort of rhymes with cock. So it’s okay.

      But feminine products are not okay.

      Sexism!

    4. God these people are evil. Selling oil is legal and useful. And these assholes want them run out of society. They are just ignorant monkeys.

      1. Do they know they are in Texas?

      2. Well they’re fascists in a pretty literal sense. They want everyone to kowtow to their desires and any failure to obey the prog dictates is evidence of moral infirmity.

        They would have been good little goosesteppers circa 1937, but murdering Jews has gone out of fashion. Now they just want anyone who disagrees with them on any subject ostracized and ruined financially.

    5. So it’s not that they won’t sell sponsorships to tampons, it’s that they won’t sell sponsorships to tampons, boner pills, or any sort of contraception.

      That’s kind of a different policy than just restricting tampons, isn’t it?

      1. It sounds like a company may have done market research about what people in oil-rich Texas find offensive. People’s middle regions = offensive; Oil = not so much.

        1. You can say that again.

      2. It sounds like a company may have done market research about what people in oil-rich Texas find offensive. People’s middle regions = offensive; Oil = not so much.

        1. You can say that again.

    6. The top three are football coaches? I can see the top two, but what state school other than Texas and aTm has a program with that highly paid of a coach? I figured Smart’s new basketball contract would be higher than the football coach at Texas Tech.

      1. Baylor and TCU have a LOT of cash.

        1. Both are private though.

  34. Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, where she says her grandchild is a big reason she’s running for president a second time.
    .
    Otherwise, some crackpot like Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren might try to steal little Precious’ inheritance.

  35. Wristbands for mentally ill

    wristbands or ID cards would help ?professionals such as police treat mentally ill people in their care differently

    You know who else ….

    1. “For your clothes, here’s a pretty flower”

    2. Because the cops already check out medical alert bracelets before they assault and Tase someone who’s having a diabetic seizure for ‘non-compliance’. Oh, wait,….

    3. I ‘get’ what she’s saying but no.

      Just. No.

    4. In the winter those wristbands would be covered by a coat. Better to tattoo their foreheads for easier identification.

      1. “POOR IMPULSE CONTROL”

  36. Department of Defense will exhume bodies of USS Oklahoma sailors for identification

    The Department of Defense announced Tuesday the remains of up to 388 unaccounted for sailors and Marines, associated with the USS Oklahoma, will be exhumed later this year.

    DOD officials said upon disinterment, the remains will be transferred to the Defense POW/MIA Accounting Agency (DPAA) laboratory in Hawaii for examination. Analysis of all available evidence indicates that most USS Oklahoma crew members can reportedly be identified upon disinterment.

    Deputy Secretary of Defense Bob Work said he approved the disinterment of unknowns associated with the USS Oklahoma and also established a broader DOD policy, which defines threshold criteria for disinterment of unknowns.

    “The secretary of defense and I will work tirelessly to ensure your loved one’s remains will be recovered, identified, and returned to you as expeditiously as possible, and we will do so with dignity, respect and care,” said Work.

    The disinterment policy applies to all unidentified remains from the National Memorial Cemetery of the Pacific and other permanent American military cemeteries. However, this policy does not extend to those sailor and Marines lost at sea or to remains entombed in U.S. Navy vessels serving as national memorials.

    1. The only possible reason for this is to swap the lizard people remains among them with real human bodies to prevent a future exposure.

    2. “I will work tirelessly …,” said Work.

      I see what you did there, Bob.

  37. Chimps at Dutch zoo take down drone

    Beware! Chimp Tushi at the Dutch Burgers’ Zoo is a real drone-buster.

    When the zoo sent a drone over the chimpanzee enclosure for a better look at how their 14 apes live, the response was swift.

    With the unfamiliar intruder coming close to them, 23-year-old female Tushi waited in a tree, gritted her teeth and with two whacks from a long branch, downed the drone. No sweat.

    Zoo spokesman Bas Lukkenaar said on Tuesday that “we can write the drone off. It cost about 2,000 euros ($2,100). Then again, it doesn’t surprise that Tushi did this. She is very handy with sticks.”

    With the camera still rolling on the ground Friday after Tushi’s strike, the zoo got some close-up footage anyway ? of chimps coming to inspect their kill.

    The uprising begins.

    1. Friend and I both cheered when we saw that clip last night. Go chimp!

  38. Group successfully campaigns for a politically neutral Hugo Awards.

    SJWs previously dictating the slate lose their minds. And then proceed to do what they do.

    In theory, theoretically as it were, who is supposed to nominate: why, Lord love a duck, right? Any reader of science fiction who pays at least the supporting worldcon membership.

    And who gets to make recommendations for nominations? Well, from what I’ve seen over the years, anyone with an interest in sf/f. I could, tomorrow, (well, not tomorrow, but at the beginning of the next set) put my list of recommends on the blog, whether I meant to vote for them or not. (I.e. whether I paid the membership or not.)

    Readers, reviewers and various other side-spurs of science fiction do that pretty much every year.

    So, if I did that, would I have any obligation, no matter how remote, to tell people I was putting them on my slate? Why? I mean, I might, as a friendly gesture, send a note saying “I love your books and I’m putting such and such on the slate.” BUT WHY would I HAVE to?

    I mean, when I won the Prometheus and the two other times I’ve been nominated, all I got was an email saying “you’ve been nominated.” No one warned me. And trust me, ten years ago that announcement would have frozen me solid, instead of causing me to dance in my office.

    1. That is because ten years ago, I lived in a state of fear. And the fact that my fear was real and serious is justified by that accusation to Brad, “You bad bad man, when you decided these people deserved awards, you didn’t TELL THEM you were putting them on a recommend list.”

      I lived in fear because of the implied end of that sentence “And you knew that because you associated them with you, a known conservative, we would make their lives miserable and do our best to end their careers.”

      And that, my friends is what I realized when I sold my first novel in the late 90s. Most Americans might not be that sensitive to the “climate” but I was. I had after all grown up in a socialist (at best, during the better times) country where to graduate you had to present the proper progressive front. I knew the signs and the hints and social positioning of “further left than thou.” For instance, my first SF cons, as an author, in the green room, I became aware that “a conservative” was a suitable, laughter inducing punchline for any joke; that all of them believed the Reagan years had set us on course to total dystopia; that the US was less enlightened/capable/free than anywhere else; that your average Republican or even non-Democrat voter was the equivalent of the Taliban.

      1. And still that naked “you should have told them you were putting them on your slate” and the implied, scary because we intend to f*ck up their lives because you like their work made me catch my breath and remember the fear.

        The people who preach to you of inclusiveness and love (SF is “love” apparently); the people who are hunting for writers of various colors of the rainbow to give awards to demand (and receive) perfect lockstep abasing compliance with their beliefs.

        The prize they held hostage was a writers ability to make a living.

        Fortunately there is indie. They haven’t realized it yet, but what they hold in their hands is nothing. And the more they show their colors, the more they pursue their little purges (now in public) the less they’ll be taken seriously.

      2. You are only as free as your society wants to be. No government can save you from an oppressive society. And Progressives are totalitarians. You can’t have a free society if it has more than a small amount of Progressives. Worse, you can’t have any organization with more than a small number of them. Anytime they reach a critical mass, they will take over the organization and subvert it into a political weapon and a tool of oppression. They are like the fucking body snatchers.

      3. She makes a good point. A particularly vocal anti-prog could do a lot of damage just by being really openly supportive of key leftwing figures, especially where they are slipping up and get caught pouring out the Koolaid behind their backs. It’s like the SJW equivalent of swatting.

  39. http://thepeoplescube.com/peop…..16180.html

    The People’s Cube asks how many gay friends do you have comrade? The government will soon want to know.

  40. Thabo Sefolosha – Atlanta Hawks Power Forward – will miss the rest of the season due to injuries he sustained while being arrested by the NYPD for no particular reason.

    http://www.foxsports.com/nba/s…..ury-041415

    1. He’s gonna take them to the cleaners.

      1. and by them I mean the taxpayers of new york.

      2. There is likely a cap on tort claims against the city or state. So sadly, he likely won’t, though I bet he deserves to.

        1. I don’t think there is in NY.

          1. Then I hope he does.

      3. Wouldn’t the Atlanta Hawks also have a claim?

        1. There’s a player’s union, so I expect some heavy hitters will be making a call on the NYPD.

  41. Hey Sarcasmic your from Maine right? What are the laws like up there? Is the state still relatively free, or are the law books filled with Progressive stupidity? I’d like to know in case I ever try moving up there, it’s a beautiful state, but I’m not sure if a scenic view is worth putting up with leftist stupidity.

    1. Not to mention the seasons – Winter, Winter, Winter, and My God Why Are There So Many Mosquitoes?

      1. Actually, the seasons are Tourist, Foliage, Ski and Mud.

    2. One thing I like about living around here is that all fines and forfeitures go to the state’s general fund. That means cops have less incentive to be dicks since they can’t police for profit.

      The town I live in has no police force of its own, so it has no ordinances. We pay troopers and sheriffs to answer calls (and hand out speeding tickets), but they will only enforce state law. So I could shoot off guns and fireworks all day long, and nothing else would happen (I don’t because I respect my neighbors).

      Right now a Constitutional Carry bill is working its way through the legislature. If it passes then we won’t need a permit to carry.

      That’s it off the top of my head. If you have any specific questions, I’ll answer as best as I can.

      1. Tobacco and liquor taxes are obscene, but that’s easily remedied if you’re close to the NH border (I’m not).

      2. You can legally use a cell phone while driving, but they’re working on a bill to outlaw that.

        Smoking while driving is illegal if there’s a kid in the car, and kids under fifteen are required to wear helmets while driving. Though I don’t know how much those laws are enforced.

        1. Helmets while driving? WTF?

          1. Riding a bike. Whoops.

        2. I’m praying to God you meant “wear helmets while BIKING.”

          Those laws are ridiculous enough. Forcing kids to wear helmets while in the backseat of a car…

          1. Dammit! Forgot to refresh. Apologies.

        3. Also a Mainer, so I’ll add to sarc’s comments that you’ll find far more proggieness in the south, especially around Portland.

          Like many states: get out of the urban areas and you’ll find more red than blue.

          1. Cumberland and York counties vs the rest of the state.

  42. Hillary Clinton is campaigning in Iowa, where she says her grandchild is a big reason she’s running for president a second time

    Monarchs are always concerned with the future of their dynasty.

    1. She can hardly let the House of Bush rule can she?

      1. The thought of Hillary or Jeb makes me pine for House Harkonnen.

    2. I bet it would be even easier to be president if two of your grandparents were president.

  43. Elizabeth Stoker Breunig is a one-of-a-kind intellect. That “Taxpayers are not People” article is truly mindboggling in the depth of its derangement.

  44. Seattle boss raises the minimum wage for his company to $70k

    Proglodyte heads explode because they don’t understand how a company would do such a thing without government force.

    But then, we’ll see if his business stays afloat or not.

    1. Apparently he is paying for that by cutting his own salary, so it should be good for the company (until they need to find his replacement).

      1. Price said he will cut his nearly $1 million salary to $70,000 and use about 80 percent of the business’ anticipated profit to increase the salary of about 70 employees

        emphasis mine. We’ll see how sustainable that is.

        1. So the upper bound on that is $3.97 million in net salary increase, but those 70 people were clearly not making $0 before. If the average salary of those 70 people was $56.7k the move doesn’t cost the company anything. If the average was less than that it will.

          1. doesn’t cost the company anything

            How so?

            1. Addition and subtraction.

              1. Oh, how silly of me for missing it. So if he has to dip into company profits — that could be utilized basically anywhere else in the business including investment — to pull this off, perhaps your napkin math is off and it is costing the company something.

    2. He must be contracting out for low wage workers. I can’t imagine someone paying $70k for janitorial services and insisting that it’s good for his business, or considering themselves a good businessperson.

      1. It depends on how many he needs. If his place is small enough he could hire one guy and just call it the cost of good PR.

      2. Maybe he has already made his millions and is making a point about bad policies driving businesses bankrupt?

      3. I wonder what the mean wage is, however. The minimum is $70k. It said he lowered his own salary to that. But how would someone who has a position that requires a higher skill level and advanced degrees feel if he/she were getting paid the same as a low skilled worker in the company?

    3. Is he going to rename it “Twentieth Century Motors” now or later?

  45. http://popehat.com/2015/04/14/…..san-diego/

    A good number of college students are just fucking pathetic. How in God’s name have we managed to raise these people?

  46. That guy from Seattle was on Morning Joke.
    Nobody asked him, “What, exactly, does your company do? What is the marginal return per employee?”

    1. That is because they are economically retarded.

    2. It might end up being a great cynical marketing ploy. I don’t know anything about the company but it is possible that most of his employees already make more than $70,000 a year anyway. Let’s say that 15% of his employees make less than $70K. The actual cost of doing this might not be that great. Meanwhile, he is getting all of this free publicity and every Progressive doofus in the country feels that it is their moral duty to not only buy his product but also pay a premium for doing so. This guy might not be so stupid.

      1. I think I was reading somewhere that he has 120 total and had to raise the wages of 70, so a little less than half already appear to make more. Must have been the ones with penises and pale skin

      2. It reminds me of Ben and Jerry’s the 5:1 salary ratio ruse.

        The progressive ignoranti were full of admiration, but it was just p.r. for two reasons:

        1) Obviously, B&J could use contract services performed by contractors making far less than 20% of Ben’s and Jerry’s compensation.
        2) More importantly, B&J owned almost 100% of the company. They could pay themselves the very minimum required for their immediate personal cash flow needs, and still own nearly 100% of their firm’s growth in retained earnings and equity valuation.

        When Unilever acquired B&J, employees shared about $5 million in a retention bonus, but Ben and Jerry enjoyed the lion’s share of over $300 million of the acquisition.

        Unilever eventually had to abandon the 5:1 compensation ratio because it was untenable for anything other than an owner-operated business.

        I imagine that the situation is similar to B&J before acquisition.

  47. NYT haz a confuse
    .
    The conservative shift in public attitudes on health care and on issues of redistribution and inequality pose a significant threat to the larger liberal agenda.

    The 2013 paper published in Public Opinion Quarterly that I mentioned at the beginning of this article, “The Structure of Inequality and Americans’ Attitudes Toward Redistribution,” suggests that Democratic programs providing tax-financed benefits to the poor are facing growing hostility.

    The author of the paper, Matthew Luttig, a Ph.D. candidate in political science at the University of Minnesota, found that while “numerous political theorists suggest that rising inequality and the shift in the distribution of income to those at the top should lead to increasing support for liberal policies,” in practice, “rising inequality in the United States has largely promoted ideological conservatism.”
    .
    It’s almost as if people are viscerally repulsed by the idea of government programs based on stealing from Peter to give to Paul.

    1. The comments aren’t much better. I swear nyt commenters live in a bubble that never interacts with anyone with differing opinions. They literally cannot conceive of large chunks of the populace coming to disagree with them.

  48. The scourge that is copyright law strikes again.

    Filmmaker Joss Whedon is being sued for $10 million by a writer who claims they stole his idea for the hit horror film Cabin in the Woods.

    1. Maybe his lawyer should have explained that you own copyrights on the actual writing of a work, not the basic gist of it.

  49. Singer Percy Sledge died aged 74.

    At least we’ve still got Lou Reed

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