Trevor Noah Gets Jon Stewart's Job, Police Thwart a Break-In at NSA HQ, RFRA Debate Rages: P.M. Links

Reason's Lenore Skenazy hosted a brunch for sex offenders.


  • Trevor

    Trevor Noah has been named the next host of The Daily Show, and will replace Jon Stewart at some unspecified time in the future. Noah, a stand-up comedian from South Africa, has only thrice appeared on Stewart's show and is a relative unknown to American audiences—albeit one clearly poised for considerable success.

  • Police opened fire on an unauthorized vehicle that tried to gain access to the NSA building in Fort Meade, Maryland. One person is dead and two are injured.
  • The RFRA debate continues to prompt some interesting questions, such as "How would RFRA opponents deal with the Hitler cake?" asks Jazz Shaw.
  • An Ohio school district is really upset that a pot farm might open up next door, because what good was all that moral hand-wringing now?
  • Reason's Lenore Skenazy hosted a brunch for sex offenders.
  • Play Super Mario 64… in HD.
  • AMC debuted the trailer for its Walking Dead spin-off series.

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  1. Police opened fire on an unauthorized vehicle that tried to gain access to the NSA building in Fort Meade, Maryland.

    I guess the NSA didn’t see that coming. Thanks a lot, Snowden.

    1. Hello.

      The Daily Show?

      Never heard of it.

      1. It’s a show worse than Degrassi Junior High, which is saying something.

        1. Quality Canadian TV from the 80s:

            1. Quality Canadian TV from the 80s:


              Try watching ‘Definition’ with the flu, Ted.

        2. It’s a show worse than Degrassi Junior High

          I would rather watch Degrassi Next Generation than Daily Show.

          1. Dude…there’s no call to be that brutal.

            1. Admit it, Epi. You learned valuable life lessons and cues from Degrassi.

              Admit it.

              1. The only thing I learned from Degrassi was that it proved that if my sister liked a show, that show was guaranteed to be horrible. Other evidence includes Blossom and Clarissa Explains It All.

                1. Was there something wrong with Jenny Von Oy, you monster? Six Lemeure taught me so much.

                  1. Unless you’re joking, you and I have tastes that are miles apart. And I had been happy not knowing about her until you ruined that.

                    1. I am just that kind of guy. In my defense you brought up Blossom.

          2. Is Degrassi TNG like Star Trek TNG, where it is better than the original by orders of magnitude?

            1. How DARE you!

  2. Reason’s Lenore Skenazy hosted a brunch for sex offenders.

    How was the food, Epi?

    1. That thing about Skenazy appears twice. Once as an actual link, the other up with the headline; I’m guessing the top one is an error.

    2. I couldn’t go, this new ankle monitor bracelet is hell to slip out of.

      1. Better you than me. Try the candy gambit next time instead of the lost puppy.

        1. “It’s not a rape van! It’s a spy van!”

          1. You’re learning. Slowly, but you’re learning.

        2. Put a trampoline and a ballpit in your backyard and they basically kidnap themselves. Not that I know from personal experience or anything.

  3. Earth hour a bust in B.C.

    British Columbians saved only 15 megawatt hours of electricity for this year’s Earth Hour, the lowest savings in the past eight years. By turning off unnecessary lights and electronics for one hour, the province reduced its electricity load by 0.2 per cent according to BC Hydro.

    1. But think of all of the calories burned by self congratulatory back patting!

    2. Earth Hour has always been about the intentions and appearances.

      1. I wonder how much they could save by not talking about it on social media?

      1. Ok, that was funny.

    3. I’m reading ‘The Moral Case for Fossil Fuels’ by Alex Epstein.

      Half way in I’ve decided once and for all the nouveau-age green environmentalist Gaia hucksters are evil – and retarded. Retardedly evil.

      1. How is that book? I’ve heard great things.

        1. Very good. I like it. Succinct. Lucid. Quick read.

          1. Thanks. I was wondering how it was. It’s in my Kindle wish list. I keep meaning to hold to my “don’t buy more books until you read all the ones you have” rule. My personal best is about one week before I break it.

            1. Dude, I’m like, 12 books behind. I just keep buying. Still haven’t gotten around to buying Uncivilservant’s book yet though.

              1. You’re a hoarder.

                1. Whatever you say, Dane.

                2. You can’t be a hoarder of electronic books. I’m getting all I can on my Nook before B&N goes under.

    4. turning off unnecessary lights and electronics

      I always turn off unnecessary lights and electronics because it saves money. Who knew I was environmentally pure as well.

      1. No shit, I learned how to do that in like 3rd grade. I think it was in this book.

      2. Turn off incandescent and LED lights. But don’t it for CFLs because those mercury-laden pieces of crap will have a significantly shorter life with frequent on-off cycles. The rule of thumb is supposed to be to turn them off if you will be out of the room for more than 15 minutes.

        1. The trick is not to have CFLs in the first place.

          1. What have you got against the Canadian Football League?

            1. 55 yard, er, meter line, and goal posts where you can run into them.

              1. The goal posts’ location always got me.

                Soooo Canadian.

        2. Ahhh. CFL’s.

          I remember that when I first figured out Tulpa was dick. He was defending CFLs

          1. Really? On what grounds?

      3. They’re ALL necessary in my case.

    5. Oh man, I missed Earth hour again? Guess I should watch the news once in a while on TV, but it’s too depressing.

  4. Spot the Not: Robert Bork

    1. The right to procreate is not guaranteed, explicitly or implicitly, by the Constitution.

    2. Remember, I taught Bill and Hillary Clinton when they were at Yale. Let me rephrase that. Bill and Hillary Clinton were in the room when I was teaching at Yale.

    3. The fossil record is proving a major embarrassment to evolution.

    4. Homosexuality is obviously not an unchangeable condition like race or gender.

    5. The National Rifle Association is always arguing that the Second Amendment determines the right to bear arms. But I think it really is the people’s right to bear arms in a militia.

    6. Truth is that which makes people certain, clear, and strong.

    1. You’re alive!

      1. I sent Jesse a text message after I made it home on Thursday. I figured he would pass the message along.

        Here’s the rest of the story for everyone else:

        On Thursday, I met with Playa, Los Doyers, Sudden, and jesse at the Purple Orchid lounge near LAX. We swapped stories and chewed orphan bones for several hours. Playa generously bought pitcher after pitcher of Lagunitas IPA. Jesse has an amazing beard. Los Doyers could be a male model and Sudden looks a bit like Lawrence from Office Space. I wore my favorite werewolf shirt.

        In keeping with white guy drinking tradtion, here is my score: I drank a Longboard Lager, an Angry Orchard cider, and 4 or 5 glasses of IPA. After we said our farewells, I searched in vain for the McDonalds and the IHOP before returning to the bar to eat peanuts and dance with the the tiki statues while wearing a lampshade on my head.

        When I felt sober enough, I went east on Imperial Highway in search of the 405. For some reason, I turned north on La Cienega and something something ended up in Hollywood. I had the good luck to stumble upon one of the other McDonalds in the LA area and got directions to the 405.

        Incidents like this are the reason why I prefer not to drink anywhere more than a 5 minute walk from where I will be sleeping.

        1. You forgot the part where you told me I looked like Dane Cook.

          That’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me.

          1. But it’s true!

            (twists knife deeper)

          2. I left it out of the story on purpose to be nice and now you bring it up again.


          3. Are you sure he said you “looked like Dane Cook”? Or did he say you were talented like Dane Cook?

            (pours salt into gaping wound left by all of Epi’s twisting)

          4. It’s been bugging me for a while trying to figure out who you remind me of.

            It’s not Dane Cook though.

            1. Gary Cooper. Definitely Gary Cooper.

            2. I’ve been told that I’m a jerk, if that helps.

          5. It could be worse. Dane Cook in his heyday probably had a couple of girls double team him. My celebrity look alike needs a million dollars before he can accomplish the same feat.

        2. Lagunitas IPA!! Excellent!!

        3. I would’ve let them know if you hadn’t checked in.

          1. Ah, the infamous Purple Orchid. So they’ve gotten you now as well, eh Derpetologist? My guess is that Sudden, Jesse, Playa and Doyers have some deal with the bartender to make the drinks for the first-time visiting posters extra strong. At least that is what my story is — and I’m sticking to it.

            Did you happen to see any of my brain cells there? They were lost quickly when I visited. Maybe we can put up a ‘lost’ sign for yours and mine.

            Agreed, though, fun place and the commenters are terrific guys.

        4. Sorry, I’ve already pledged my heart to Fist. But I appreciate the compliment. Sounds like you passed near my house if you headed drunkenly north on La Cienega.

          1. I was almost completely sober, I swear!

            1. Look at this guy! Prefixing the freeways with “the” already! He’s a natural.

              *Looks pointedly at Francisco and Warty*

            2. You really shouldn’t give Los Doyers compliments. They go straight to his head and he becomes insufferabler.

              1. Like that’s even possible, Jesse. He’s already at his most insufferablest.

                  1. Ok, I misspoke. Ever you aren’t that level of insufferable.

          2. I’m still waiting for that notarized form with your last three BMI measurements.

            1. Yeah, well, I’m still waiting on girthy dick pics. And I’m getting impatient.

              1. Jesus Christ.

                What is WRONG with you guys?


                1. It does account for almost a full point of my own BMI.

                  1. fuck, don’t tell me you are one of those nutty conspiracy bastards.

                    I’m so sick of you Girthers questioning our president’s manhood.

    2. I read Bork’s Slouching Towards Gomorrah the other day and it was just page after page of “kids these days” and “back in my day…” and “I wore an onion on my belt”.

      His argument against flag burning was that a nation needs sacred symbols and destroying the nation’s emblem is essentially treason.

      What a loon!

      1. Did you get to the part where he describes in very graphic detail watching a oiled woman masturbate on some cable channel.

        Catallarchy had a lot of fun with that one. /sheds a tear for a lost libertarian genius blog

        1. Bork wrote a lot in his book about child rape chatrooms and fisting.

      2. But they were the style at the time!

    3. I bet he was teased a lot.

      Robert ‘The Swedish Chef’ Bork, bork, bork.

    4. 3

    5. I chuuse-a noomber seex. Bork Bork Bork!

    6. 3.

      1. And I was wrong about this. It’s from Slouching Toward Gomorrah. He took Michael Behe as a reputable scientific source. That’s stunningly retarded.

      1. It’s actually a slight misquote of Heidegger.

    7. 5. Seems entirely too pedestrian and cliche.

    8. 4. It goes with men from his era.

    9. And the Not is #6. Sharp-eyed commenters recognized this Heidegger quote.

      your prize

      1. Wait a minute. I’m going up a little bit to post my answer.

      2. 6!

      3. You mean Nazi commenters! Or was Heidegger rehabilitated? If so I think it was only so they could justify rehabilitating and making use of Carl Schmitt.

        I don’t understand what’s going on in this section of the comments, but I’m joining in anyway.

  5. …”How would RFRA opponents deal with the Hitler cake?” asks Jazz Shaw.

    You know who else had to deal with Hitler? No, wait, I can do better.

    1. By letting the idiot who asked for it find a baker who was willing to make it?

    2. There must be a muslim caterer somewhere that won’t cater pork …

      1. Their loss.

        1. True. I just think the idiots mounting all the boycotts would switch sides very quickly if a gay transgender female muslim was forced to serve up some BBQ.

          1. Fuck, just have a vegan pet treat bakery make cat treats. They’re obligate carnivores.

            1. I first read that as treats made out of cats rather than treats for cats, and I think it would be better that way.

          2. Omlets eggs. To these types it would be a small price to pay.

      2. Are there any feminist bakeries that I can hire to make me a rape-cake?

        1. The perfect FU would be if that frat at U of Va were to find a feminist bakery and demand that they make them a cake to celebrate them being cleared.

          The SJW’s are already urinated off that the frat somehow was able to clear itself. If they now were able to force some of their sisters to bake them a cake, it might kill them.

        2. Would it just be a cake with a penis rammed into the top of it, and the word “No!!!” written in the icing?

    3. The original article comes so close to asking good questions. If they had just gone further and asked:

      – How would RFRA supporters deal with the Hitler cake?

      I assume the Jewish baker could refuse to make the cake based on his religion. But, can a Christian baker refuse to bake the cake? Would be protected by RFRA as a religion-based objection?

      Could an atheist baker refuse to bake the cake?

      1. Well, at least the atheist baker wouldn’t stretch out his hands over the ingredients and say: “I command you to rise!”

    4. Look, I support free speech and freedom of association 100% of the time, as long as it’s speech and association I agree with.

  6. Trevor Noah has been named the next host of The Daily Show, and will replace Jon Stewart at some unspecified time in the future.

    Well, now we know why Jason Jones suddenly quite last week.

    1. Going with an unknown, huh?

      I actually can’t remember Stewart prior to the Daily Show. Was he big then? I think Big Daddy might have been a bit before he took over (though that was only a small part).

      1. No he was not. Not totally unknown, but he was in the minor leagues.

        1. We didn’t get cable until 2004 so I didn’t know the Daily Show before Stewart either.

          1. By 2004 I stopped watching the Daily Show.

        2. I remember seeing him do standup before TDS. I didn’t think he was that funny.

      2. I don’t know how big he was, but he had an MTV show which required him to regularly interview people that was pretty good.

      3. He actually had a big following from Talk Soup. Big, amongst Generation X/South Park watchers, anyway. Was expected to replace Letterman.

        1. Yep. I wouldn’t say Stewart was a “minor leaguer” before the Daily show. He certainly wasn’t the household name that he is now, but he was definitely a known comic who had established a quickness of wit.

          I’m old enough to remember he hosted a very, very small show on the “Comedy Channel” before it was called Comedy Central, called “short attention span theater”. The show’s structure was a continuous stream of two (or so) minute bits from standup comedians (it was the early 90s and standup was king). He and some other girl (Yes, I said ‘girl’ because I think she was barely post-teenager) would sit at a desk and crack wise between the bits and announce the next comedian.

          I remember that Stewart was quite funny as a young comedian back then and his fame grew rather steadily. But when he took over The Daily Show, previously hosted by Craig Kilborn, the show was sort of a smirk-fest, not hugely funny, but was good for a chuckle. Stewart drove the show into such heights that now progressives use it for their primary hard news source.

          I think Craig Kilborn is now selling cars in Poughkeepsie or some place.

          1. I think Laura kightlinger was the girl

    2. They should have brought back Craig Kilborn.

      1. That’s when the Daily Show was really good! I never liked it nearly as much with Stewart as Kilborn.

        1. They need a hot chick in a bikini. Then it would be watchable. Maybe I’d turn the sound on sometimes.

          1. Perhaps you might be interested in episodes of “The Man Show”.

            1. +1 girls on trampolines!

    3. Jason Jones thought he should be the host? Um ok.

      And this Noah guy didn’t come across as host material either during his appearances. The last time I saw him I FF’d past his segment because he was so boring and had such a stiff delivery. Looks like the ratings will suffer and then someone else will take over.

      1. I see this as an extension of the exodus of the old guard dems going into retirement. They won’t be able to attack the next republican executive without looking hypocritical for ignoring everything after this administration.

    4. Jason Jones thought he should be the host? Um ok.

      And this Noah guy didn’t come across as host material either during his appearances. The last time I saw him I FF’d past his segment because he was so boring and had such a stiff delivery. Looks like the ratings will suffer and then someone else will take over.

    5. Jason Jones and his wife (Samantha Bee) are creating a new show on TBS. Presumably that is the proximate reason for their departure.

      It’s possible that they went that way because it became clear neither would replace Jon, but it’s equally or more plausible that they wanted to create their own show. Honestly, I couldn’t see either them hosting the show long-term (Jason did fill in for Jon once), just given the nature of their skit comedy, although who knows what might have been?

      1. I can’t see Jason Jones as host either, but it’s gotta be a slap in the face when work for a company for years and a big promotion finally opens up and they pass you over for some guy who has only been there a couple weeks.

  7. It’s too bad the ENB abortion article wasn’t posted earlier… that was shaping up to be a shitshow.

    1. Oh, is that what we’re going to do today? Fight?

      1. What is this? An Irish bar in Boston?

      2. Oh, is that what we’re going to do today?

        No, we’re going to do the same thing we do every day, try to take over the world!

  8. Trevor Noah has been named the next host of The Daily Show, and will replace Jon Stewart at some unspecified time in the future.

    I’m not sure he can do it. There’s no way he can be as big a smug douchebag as Stewart is.

    1. A man can dream…

    2. Hah! There is no such thing as peak smug douchiness. Everybody (well, everybody who’s anybody) know that!

    3. So after the viewership numbers come out from episode 1 with Trevor Noah, and they’re not as large as Stewart’s ratings, will there be articles blaming it on racism?

      On the one hand, the Salon-types never miss a chance to clutch their multi-colored-therefore-not-racist pearls, but they also don’t want to be too direct in accusing Daily Show watchers of being racist.

      How do you think they’ll play it?

    4. Once the progs start fellating him 25 hours a day no matter how indolent his material, he’ll get there.

  9. Pull it together, people! Don’t feed the trolls!

    *glares at Irish*

    1. Seriously, some of you bite every damn time. Have a little self-control.

    2. I thought you said Lenore Skenazy already fed Epi.

    3. Fuck the trolls! This is a Team Red site!

      1. Poor shreeky. It is so hard when you are retarded. go fuck yourself or try posting on a thread where sucking Obama’s cock is not required of you. Then maybe people will not think you are a sock puppet.

        1. You’re feeding it, Adolph.

        2. I actually enjoy posting here you fucking GOP party hack. The more you assholes deny being Team Red the more I like disproving it.

          (not everyone – just the Team Red hacks)

          1. Careful there buddy, you might fall over carrying that big of a chip on your shoulder.

    4. Bo-who-must-not-be-named hasn’t yet arrived. I expect everyone to be on their best behavior if he does.

      1. He’s still around? I’ve had to actually do some work the last couple of weeks and thought he’s be gone.

        1. Check the Arab thread from earlier. Shit everywhere, all over the walls, curtains, towels. Everywhere.

          1. Did you see where he asked me how I could say things are worse in the Middle East today than five years ago when there have been like 4 civil wars that have erupted in the last 5 years?

            I’m really not sure if he’s this stupid or just mendacious.

            1. All of the above, and also a loser.

            2. At least Arabs are fighting Arabs now, so that’s a plus? Glass half full.

          2. She even pulled out the OWGB.

      2. Maybe SOME PEOPLE could practice not responding to the more established trolls in the meantime.

    5. I don’t care what you say. I live by my own code.

      1. But what about EXTERNALITIES!!11!!!

        Every time someone “argues” with, say, Tony, it stinks up the whole thread. And it hasn’t been amusing in years.

        1. Tony just posts here to make the rest of us look good.

  10. An Ohio school district is really upset that a pot farm might open up next door…

    How do you think the pot farmers feel, with all a conformity factory right next door?

    1. For years the only zoning law in Houston prevented NEW adult businesses from opening within 1000 feet of a school. And even that was a big fight.

  11. I want to buy a plane ticket for Kshama Sawant so she can fly the f*** back to India.

    Who’s with me?

    Trigger warning: Article is loaded with derp, and even Venezuelan socialist TP is not going to be enough to wipe away your tears of sadness/laughter.

    1. Doesn’t Bharat Mata have enough problems already, Injun?

      1. Bharat Mata ditched her socialist garb in 1991 after the Balance of Payments crisis, and put on trendy capitalist clothes.

        Somehow, this dumb woman got away from India and is now preaching the virtues of socialism to dumber westerners in Seattle who are consuming her verbal excrement. Seriously WTF Seattle.

        If I was on Sawant’s Economics Ph.D. committee, I would have shot myself in the head by now.

    2. By all means lady, make the American Left into (even greater, less subtle) fellow travelers of Maduro.

      This is the idiot who thought Boeing workers should have seized control of the Seattle plant and start making
      “socially useful” items like buses. I don’t see her or her movement ever being taken seriously.

      1. Rip out all those high tech robots that build airplanes and let people build buses from scratch. That will a cost effective way to employ the local people.

        1. Also, replace shovels with spoons for shovel-ready projects!

      2. In the 90s, there were two companies that used a common chasis to build passenger buses and dump trucks. But the dump truck company built the entire truck, and could not manufacture just a chassis under the central planning system. So the truck company would deliver fully-functional dump trucks to the bus company. The bus company would send a “team” of people out with sledge hammers to remove the parts of the truck that weren’t the chassis they needed. Then they would build a bus on the newly liberated chassis.

        This is socialism in real life.

        1. Oops, left out the “near Moscow” description of the two companies.

        2. B…b…b…but Sweden!

          /not socialist

    3. Not with you.

      I respect a socialist who admits that he is a socialist.

      Most American socialists vehemently deny that they are socialist, and for good reason: Socialism does not sell well in the US.

      There’s a reason why so few are aware of the existence of the 70-member Congressional Progressive Caucus, and even fewer are aware of its affiliation with the Socialist Internationale via the Democratic Socialists of America. Its members only advertise their socialist identity when they are on friendly turf. When facing the public at large, most revert to projecting a “liberal” identity.

      So I welcome the day when socialists admit what they are, and are seen for what they are.

      1. Yeah, it’s nice of her to frankly state what she wants:

        Genuine socialism means planning the entire society and economy

        I don’t think she’ll have much luck with that message, but I’m glad she’s not tiptoeing around it.

      2. Most American socialists vehemently deny that they are socialist, and for good reason: Socialism does not sell well in the US.

        Sells just fine in Seattle.

    4. 1. Hahahahaha!

      2. This is embarrassing, even for The Nation.

      3. I love that the entire thing is just self-glorification. She truly is a politician!

      4. Hahahahahahahahaha!

      1. 3. I love that the entire thing is just self-glorification. She truly is a politician!

        She’s a serious politician who has already passed laws which have directly affected me. Vote early. Vote often.

  12. … its Walking Dead spin-off series.

    Told from the POV of the zombies.

    1. They don’t really have much of a POV.

      1. Is that why the trailer is so lame?

      2. I wonder what xHamster has to say about that…

    2. Was that an LA joke?

      1. Only if it makes it funny.

  13. Police opened fire on an unauthorized vehicle that tried to gain access to the NSA building in Fort Meade, Maryland. One person is dead and two are injured.

    Left the fun part out:

    “The driver failed to obey an NSA Police officer’s routine instructions for safely exiting the secure campus,” the statement continued. “The vehicle failed to stop and barriers were deployed.”

    Sources say the two inside were men dressed as women. Preliminary information indicated the two men were partying at an area hotel with a third individual when they took that individual’s car without permission. However, it’s still unclear how or why they ended up at the NSA gate.

    1. I once made a wrong turn into a high security entrance. Immediately a vehicle with a mounted gun of some sort and a couple of soldiers with automatic weapons appeared right in front of my rental car. I turned very slowly towards the exit and left, shaking.

      1. Grew up in Columbia, MD, just down 32 from the NSA. Everyone I know has made the wrong turn into the NSA exit at least once. Used to be, they just took down your license and so forth before sending you on your way. That, however, was a long time ago.

        1. Mine was at Oak Ridge – into the weapons division.

        2. I used to live on Ft. Meade and back then (early 90s) it was no big deal. From talking with relatives I thought that Meade was a closed post since 9/11, so I’m wondering if they just turned onto the post itself, or the actual entrance to the facility?

          1. I assume it’s the main NSA compound, off the Parkway where there’s an exit after 32… Post article said I-294, which… yeah, somebody doesn’t live here, but I’m thinking that meant 295, which is the Parkway.

    2. Sources say the two inside were men dressed as women.

      They were wearing burkas?

    3. Cocaine is a helluva drug.

    4. So, they’re not terrorists, just drug-addled transvestite car thieves. Well, OK then.

    5. So we’ve learned from the Capitol building shooting and this one that if you make a wrong turn into the driveway or parking lot of a government building you are risking your life. Got it.

  14. Trevor Noah has been named the next host of The Daily Show, and will replace Jon Stewart at some unspecified time in the future. Noah, a stand-up comedian from South Africa, has only thrice appeared on Stewart’s show and is a relative unknown to American audiences?albeit one clearly poised for considerable success.

    It’s going to suck. Stewart is actually talented enough to make the progressive preaching palpable sometimes.

    Interviews this guy has done suggests he lacks even that.

    1. It is very doubtful the replacement would be as good. That is just how such things work. That said, I doubt the majority of the brain dead audience will notice.

      1. I doubt the majority of the brain dead audience will notice.

        They will. Say what you will, but progressives want to be entertained just as much as everyone else. If this guy’s not entertaining, they’ll turn right back to Prairie Home Companion. They won’t be happy about it, but they’ll do it.

    2. Yeah, I’d be surprised if it lasts a year with him as host. Maybe 18 months if Comedy Central has trouble letting go of the property.

  15. Reason‘s Lenore Skenazy hosted a brunch for sex offenders.

    I hope she didn’t let them walk to school on their own.

    1. Damn, Fist.

      1. I pull no punches when fishing around for a joke, mixaphorically speaking.

        1. Initially, I read that as “I pull no punches when fisting around for a joke…”

          I like mine better.

  16. Skenazy decided to host the brunch “not because I’m pro sex offender,” she says, “but because there are so many people with this label who pose no threat to children whatsoever, and I wanted the public to start realizing that.”

    I can’t watch the video at this moment, but she brought her kids along to the brunch….right?

    1. I hope she did. I see no reason why she wouldn’t have, unless doing so would have gotten the people there in some kind of trouble.

      1. A sex offender lived across the street from me for years. I think he was on the list for underage pornography. Given he is legally blind, I think he was just guilty of having a bad lawyer. Seriously, though, the guy was no danger to anyone. (And, to be fair to my neighbors, nobody pulled their kids inside when he walked by)

      2. Especially given that one of the people there touched his sisters vagina when he was 12 and the other one had consensual sex with a 14 year old when he was 19.

        They’re hardly high risk offenders likely to rape a child, I would think.

        1. touched his sisters vagina when he was 12

          And he’s on the sex offender list? There has GOT to be more to that story. Please tell me there’s something more to it.

          1. Optimism has no place here.

  17. http://photographyisnotacrime……r-student/

    Florida school suspends 11 year old girl for recording teacher threatening to hurt another student. The school claims the teacher had an expectation of privacy in a room full of students.

    1. In this case, “expectation of privacy” = “didn’t know I’d get caught!”

      1. Or, “call the kids liars and get away with it”

    2. This is the same logic behind public-school “educated” cops’ expectation of privacy while performing public duties.

    3. Its only a half derp, because the teacher was successfully fired. Its zero tolerance rules getting the girl in trouble. Yes, she did a good thing by recording evidence of criminal acts by the teacher, but they have these rules… Were I the parent, I would call each member of the school board and get their response to overruling the principal and superintendent on tape.

    4. Who does that girl think she is? I’m glad the school stood up for its customer base against an abusive spectator.

      1. Aww dang, I shouldn’t skim these things. It’s right there in the second line!

        Still, stupid school.

  18. On this day in history, Russia and the United States finish negotiations on Seward’s Folly.

  19. CHICAGO (AP) ? Democratic U.S. Rep. Tammy Duckworth of Illinois announced Monday she’s running for U.S. Senate in 2016, setting up a high-profile challenge to Republican Sen. Mark Kirk’s re-election bid.…..NlYwNzYw–

    Lost both legs as Iraq helicopter pilot.

    Wonder which chickenhawk GOPer will call her a coward first?

    1. No dumb ass, you are confusing her with Joni Earnest and her critics with Democrats. It is Democrats who spit on soldiers not Republicans.

      And given the results of the last few Senate elections, chances are everyone will be calling her “former Senate candidate”.

      1. Joe Biden: “Stand up, Tammy!”

        1. Shut it down! This thread is over.

          1. This snail track is over.

      2. Former Representative.

      3. John, the Chicago media have anointed her as the next Carol Mosely Braun so she is a shoe-in to win. She lost her legs because George Bush so Duckworth could diddle children and the media would support her.

    2. She’s going to run against an incumbent?

      That campaign won’t have any legs.

      1. If she loses, don’t come running to me.

    3. How do you figure that blowing retard’s legs off makes him/her any less of a retard? If you lose all four limbs do you automatically get the presidency? Just having trouble finding the relevance.

      1. Ask Max Cleland.

  20. Bailey’s article earlier about the guy who thinks economic thinking ‘debases’ people got me to look up Amitai Etzioni to learn about him and it turns out he partially wrote something called the Responsive Communitarian Manifesto and it is a doozy:

    “To achieve this major renewal and revitalization of public life, to reinstitute the prerequisites for attending to the public interest, requires a major social movement, akin to the progressive movement of the beginning of the century. For even good causes can become special interests if they are not part of such a movement, keeping their strategies and aims in constant dialogue with larger aims and multiple ends. Citizens who care about the integrity of the polity either on the local, state, or national level, should band with their fellows to form a neo-progressive communitarian movement. They should persevere until elected officials are beholden–not to special interests–but only to the voters and to their own consciences.”

    Hello – we believe in making airy fairy statements of how people ought to behave without once explaining how this can be brought about. I think I speak for everyone when I say that vague wishes are the best sort of political platform.

    1. not to special interests–but only to the voters and to their own consciences.”

      Special Interests, noun, def. Voters and their consciences that I disagree with.

      1. My favorite part of the Communitarian Manifesto is that they explicitly say they don’t think any of this should be coerced by the government:

        “Moral voices achieve their effect mainly through education and persuasion, rather than through coercion. Originating in communities, and sometimes embodied in law, they exhort, admonish, and appeal to what Lincoln called the better angels of our nature. They speak to our capacity for reasoned judgment and virtuous action. It is precisely because this important moral realm, which is neither one of random individual choice nor of government control, has been much neglected that we see an urgent need for a communitarian social movement to accord these voices their essential place.”

        Here’s the thing: I have no problem with this since it doesn’t involve coercion, but this supposedly intellectual political movement basically has their ideas boil down to ‘I kind of wish people would be nice to each other.’

        Literally it consists entirely of them just saying things like ‘why don’t we communicate more?’ and ‘I think people should be more social.’ It’s like a child wishing on a star.

        1. Since they don’t plan on using coercion, we can all ignore them and get on with our lives without fear that they’ll propose laws when they don’t get their way, right?

          And what’s this “random individual choice” bullshit?

        2. Originating in communities, and sometimes embodied in law

          Doesn’t involve coercion? Of course it does.

        3. Literally it consists entirely of them just saying things like ‘why don’t we communicate more?’ and ‘I think people should be more social.’ It’s like a child wishing on a star.

          So it’s the philosophy of two and a half hour business meeting with powerpoints.

        4. Literally it consists entirely of them just saying things like ‘why don’t we communicate more?’ and ‘I think people should be more social.’

          So it’s the introverts who will be sent to the camps this time.

      2. Pretty much.

        Special interests are those interests which conflict with the public good and the general will as defined by the ruling elite.

    2. He’s also a moron when it comes to punctuation. You can’t just replace commas with em dashes willy nilly, guy.

    3. “Hello – we believe in making airy fairy statements of how people ought to behave without once explaining how this can be brought about”

      Nor even suggesting WHY it should.

  21. Global Warming hypocrisy update:

    Arctic sea ice reaches lowest maximum extent on record
    On February 25, 2015, Arctic sea ice extent appeared to have reached its annual maximum extent, marking the beginning of the sea ice melt season. This year’s maximum extent not only occurred early; it is also the lowest in the satellite record. However, a late season surge in ice growth is still possible. NSIDC will post a detailed analysis of the 2014 to 2015 winter sea ice conditions in early April.

    But, of course, no mention is made of the fact that the Antarctic minimum was almost its GREATEST on record and is now in record territory for March 30.

    1. Any mention of what the polar bears will do?

      1. Devolve into there ancestors the grizzly bear?

        1. I see what’s going on here. Bearism. You’re inferring that WHITE bears are better than brown bears, aren’t you! Bearist!

          1. Ted Turner gave a speech on racism where he said something like “white bears, brown bears, black bears, bears is bears!”

            Haven’t found video yet.

            1. You don’t say!

              1. I suddenly have the urge to grab a drink in Silverlake.

    2. Thanks for posting about global warming, it gives me a chance to post this article I stumbled across today!

      I really hope it’s not stuck behind a paywall, because it’s downright tasty hypocricy from AlGore about the politics of fear.

      1. Could only read page 1, but the description of the Iraq war buildup more than applies to the AGW fraud.

        I keep track of the AGW area pretty closely, so I’ll post the best AGWderp as it arises.

    3. It’s the Gulf Stream pushing warmer water into the North Sea more than it has in the past. But I thought global warming would stop that from happening. What to think. What to think.

  22. Spot the Not: Jennifer Granholm

    1. When I was fresh out of law school, I had a burning desire to do something important, to have an impact in some way, but I didn’t know what it was.

    2. If you are going to be progressive, then you have to make progress. And that sometimes depends on breaking a few legs.

    3. Public service used to be the highest of callings, until people like Madame Voldemort vilified it.

    4. California is beautiful to look at, but you can’t be a part of it like you can in Michigan.

    5. I am wise, but it’s a wisdom born of pain. It’s deepened the conviction of my soul.

    6. Concentrating wealth in the hands of the few and deregulating financial institutions and practices lead to speculative bubbles that eventually burst – and that brings the whole country down.

    1. #2, too self-aware.

    2. 6

    3. 2 – the mask slips too much.

    4. #5

        1. So the only winning move is not to play?

        2. Hmm no thanks. I thought it was number 5 but to be sure I googled it. Is that cheating?

      1. #5 is from the song “I am woman hear me roar”. Fun fact- lyrics were written by a man.

        1. I am man, hear me laugh.

  23. Why am I not surprised that the Daily Show would find some dude who looks like Obama’s ugly son?

    1. He speaks so well.


    A mani/pedi with your dilation and extraction?

    1. Could have at least linked the ENB thread a few posts down. Way harsh, man.

      1. Dammit! This is what I get for going to “meetings” and doing “work.”

        Apologies, ENB.

    2. Why can’t there be a spas for colonoscopies?

      1. I’ll have 3 Percoset with a laudnam chaser.

    3. They don’t do dilation and extraction. All they do is prescribe abortion pills.

      1. Way to goosestep all over my joke, jokeHiltler! 😉

        1. There are some things you just don’t joke about, man.

          1. Are you going to send me to a comedy camp for re-education?

    4. A mani/pedi with your dilation and extraction?

      Human life is cheap.

      1. But mani/pedis can get expensive so it all balances out.

  25. I hereby present the Dr Umar Johnson, the black Alex Jones:

    It turns out that HIV was designed to seek out cells with melanin because it was designed to kill black people. Huh, helper t-cells have melanin? Someone get this man a Nobel prize!

    1. oopsy, strike that first “the”

      or maybe capitalize it: THE Dr. Umar Johnson

  26. I’m fine with just plain old standard def alt-text.

  27. The RFRA debate continues to prompt some interesting questions, such as “How would RFRA opponents deal with the Hitler cake?” asks Jazz Shaw.

    Easy – with a perfunctory “it’s not the same thing!”

    And stop framing the argument around Freedom of Association – that’s a given. Frame it around Property Rights. The successful persecution of a business owner for refusing to engage in trade represents a clear and unequivocal violation of the sanctity of property rights. A person does not have the right to another person’s labor or production outside voluntary trade.

    Besides, business owners are under NO obligation to state the reasons for their refusal. They can say “no” and “because I don’t want to.” You cannot compel a person to perform for you an action EVEN if you are willing to pay that person, since compensation does not suddenly become just or fair only because you said so – there has to be a meeting of the minds, a mutually-beneficial agreement, before trade can happen. Therefore, a business owner does NOT owe a reason to a potential client for his refusal.

    1. Fuck off, slaver! seems the clearly right response.

    2. OM, your argument is spot on, but you lost them the instant you said ‘property rights’. We are talking about closet socialists here, and many not-so-closeted, who hold property rights in complete disdain.

    3. This is true, but if the clients believe they have been discriminated against on the basis of a protected class, the business owner can still be found guilty in a court of said discrimination, whether or not they explicitly gave that as a reason.

      Of course, a business coming right out and telling a client that they’re discriminating against them because they’re gay or whatever is not going to make their legal defense very easy, and them not saying it may make their defense a lot easier, there are certainly ways to gather evidence of said discrimination without the business owner admitting to it, and then it’s all going to come down to a judge and/or jury’s determination.

  28. “How would RFRA opponents deal with the Hitler cake?” asks Jazz Shaw.

    I, umm, I’m just asking…. for a friend. Yeah.

  29. Fun with construction:

    1. Its behind schedule.

    2. Because of that, when the yute punched his fist through my window last night, its not my responsibility yet, it is still in the landlords possession.

    3. While taking a picture of the damage, a local crone from the senior apartments bitched at my wife about a brewery going into that space. First negative comment Ive received so far.

    1. Possibly it was Saturday night.

      1. In the yute’s defense, it’s a well established precedent that Saturday Nights are Alright for Fighting

    2. “Just turn off your hearing aid at 6:00, Gandma. “

  30. Police opened fire on an unauthorized vehicle that tried to gain access to the NSA building in Fort Meade, Maryland. One person is dead and two are injured.

    The vehicle did not suffer life-threatening injuries and is being held for questioning.

    1. There were only two people in the vehicle, and three injuries, and I’ve heard nothing about an injured LEO, so.. panic fire casualty?

    2. Wait, the vehicle tried to gain access to the NSA building? Is SkyNet online already?

  31. I now think it’s hilarious that all this stuff about Indiana is happening. So Hillary is going to disown a law passed by a Democratic Congress and signed by Bill? One that’s been around for decades without oppressing gay people? Or is this another Obamacare whine? “Well, yeah, that’s what the law says, but that’s not what we meant!”

    And then we have the spectacle of CEOs who do business with China getting on high horses about civil rights in Indiana. We have governors of states with RFRA laws of their own proclaiming boycotts. What a farce.

    1. I know of at least one band who are punishing their fans over this by cancelling a show. Either their fans are all bigots, which raises some uncomfortable questions about the band, or they are just fine with fucking over people who have no connection to this in an effort to grandstand.

      1. There’s no guilting like collective guilting!

        1. Bonus, the band, Wlico, lives in Illinois, which has a similar law.

          1. What is a Wilco?

            1. A decent band filled with dirty commies who recorded an album with ubercommie Billy Bragg.

      2. I don’t get to see my favorite band because some politicians I didn’t vote for passed a law I didn’t like. Right on, man! Fight the power!

        1. If you don’t move out of Indiana by next week, you’re complicit in this.

    2. One of my FB friends posted about the band withdrawing their show. I promptly unfollowed that friend.

      This is really just another team red vs. team blue pissing match, with both sides trying to siphon off the middle with scare quotes.

    3. Hillary’s husband signed both DOMA and DADT. Didn’t hurt him or her. Why would RFRA be different?

  32. “Trevor Noah has been named the next host of The Daily Show…. Noah, a stand-up comedian from South Africa….”

    This makes sense.

    Millenials *love* people with foreign accents that make jokes about how stupid all Americans are. They all nod and go, “TOTALLY!!” and it helps them feel superior.

    1. If they Daily Show producers were smart, they would have realized that Joe Biden is probably going to be available soon. Maybe this guys just a fill in until Uncle Joe is ready.,

  33. Yes, I know I am late, and this comment may get lost, but I think this AP story is worthy of mention:
    Young people inspired by libertarianism, conservative free-market ideals push for change in Brazil

    Kataguiri says he had a political awakening two years ago when he began questioning a classmate’s position that a popular cash transfer program applauded by many experts around the globe was responsible for the expansion of Brazil’s middle class and for lifting millions of citizens from poverty during the last decade.

    He believed the credit instead should go to the country’s commodities boom. “That’s what has helped the poor,” he said.

    He began posting satiric videos to YouTube, which gained a following. He joined two digital media collectives and produced more clips. Along the way, Kataguiri read the works of free-market economists Milton Friedman and Ludwig Von Mises.

    1. Why did you tinyurl it?

      1. Because I can. Actually, because Reason comment sections don’t like really long URLs. They frown on it. If you use URLs that are too long, Reason sends libertarians to your door to argue about the true libertarian stance on immigration really loudly, so the neighbors can hear.

    2. Ha, ha. They want to bring Somalia to Braaaa-sil!

      1. With the help of the Koch Bros, of course.

    3. Oi amigo. Tudo bom?

      You are late, I posted that earlier to day.

      Here’s the funny paragraph in the story:

      The group is working to meet with influential congressmen it hopes may be persuaded to start impeachment proceedings against Rousseff ? something that even Congressional opposition leaders are not publicly backing, since there is no evidence linking the president to the Petrobras scandal

      FTW? There is no evidence that Dilma is linked to the Petrobras scandal? Haaahhaaahaaa, that’s too fucking funny. Tell that to any Brazilian if you want a good laugh.

  34. Feds sign agreement with Mexico to teach immigrants to unionize in USA

    The federal government has signed agreements with three foreign countries ? Mexico, Ecuador and the Philippines ? to establish outreach programs to teach immigrants their rights to engage in labor organizing in the U.S.

    The agreements do not distinguish between those who entered legally or illegally. They are part of a broader effort by the National Labor Relations Board to get immigrants involved in union activism.


    My tax dollars at work.

    1. Without unions Mexicans will be taken advantage of by the gay, orphan eating cartel.

      1. They’ll just go back to Mexico since there won’t be any fucking labor jobs left here after the government finishes with this non-sense.

    2. In conjunction, I believe, with the NLRB reducing the amount of time between filing for and holding an election from 42 days to 12.

    3. It’s totally not going to work. But what the fuck, like you said, it’s not their own money that they’re flushing down the toilet.

    4. It’ll just make their labor more expensive so maybe it’s a good thing?

    5. A nefarious plan to control illegal immigration by convincing Mexicans to give up their competitive advantage?

  35. whatever one thinks of age of consent laws, they certainly vary

    When I was Maui PD, age of consent in HI was 14- with no differential

    California mom found out her daughter had been going to a hotel room with two guys in their 20’s and getting pounded by them while mom was lying poolside

    Daughter finally fessed up a few weeks after vacation was over and mom was calling from Cali in regards to a statutory rape complaint

    When I told her age of consent WAS 14 and thus there was no crime, she flipped out

    Ironically, I once arrested some guy for boning a 13 yr old – two months shy of her 14th birthday

    Got a looooooong sentence

    THAT’s a fucking moron!!!!

    Couldn’t wait two months??????


    1. “When I was Maui PD”

      When will the TV miniseries come out?


    2. “Ironically, I once arrested some guy for boning a 13 yr old – two months shy of her 14th birthday”

      Was their rain at your wedding?

      What about ten thousand spoons when all you needed was a knife?

      1. Those are some ironic ass things there…

    3. Hi

      Fuck off slaver


  36. Trevor Noah?!?!

    That was a really unexpected choice.

    It’s weird because I just discovered Trevor Noah’s videos on Youtube less than two months ago. He’s actually pretty hilarious.

    I wonder if he’ll continue making jokes about all the South African politicians. Would anyone watching the show even get any of them?

    I do think it could really help the show to have an outsider in charge, without any of the usual American political prejudices. Unfortunately, I assume they’ll still have the same old writing staff.

    1. I have only seen him on TDS. I wasn’t impressed.

      1. But everyone will be congratulating each other over his ‘bringing diversity’ to the show, regardless of whether he’s any good or not. One commenter on that linked news story actually said this was a ‘gutsy pick’, as if this was done despite ‘the world not being ready for a minority in that role’ rather than ‘no way in Hell was it going to be another white straight guy’.

        My prediction: he won’t be very funny or able to pull it off. The ratings will drop through the floor, and eventually Comedy Central will have to cancel the show. The explanation will be “this cancellation had nothing to do with Trevor Noah, who was doing a great job — we just feel that the concept had run its course.”

        1. “One commenter on that linked news story actually said this was a ‘gutsy pick’,…”

          Is that phrasing the equivalent of “she has a good personality”?

  37. Why are we being subjected to commercials suggesting the possibility of Katie Couric twerking?

  38. “How would RFRA opponents deal with the Hitler cake?” is not a particularly interesting question, because the scenario described is not analogous.

    A Jewish baker (or any baker, for that matter) can easily refuse *all* requests to make a Hitler-themed cake, regardless of the characteristics of the client requesting it. The baker is not discriminating against anyone here, because he or she is applying the same standard (not making Hitler-themed cakes) to everyone.

    If a gay couple wanted a cake depicting scenes of gay sex, a baker could presumably object on the grounds that they find scenes of gay sex morally objectionable and thus refuse to do it. Were said baker willing to make a cake depicting scenes of heterosexual sex, that would be an interesting question if that should be considered discriminatory or not. Personally I would say that is not discriminatory- as long as the baker is establishing a standard for what they are willing to produce, without regard to the characteristics of the clients requesting it. On the other hand, if the baker were willing to produce scenes of gay sex for a heterosexual couple, then refusal to do the same for a gay couple would be clearly discriminatory- they are simply refusing service to clients based on their sexual orientation, not the content of the goods requested.

    1. I can appreciate the thought process here and, unfortunately, discrimination does happen to all sorts of people in all sorts of places.

      But when the violent nature of bureaucratic social justice is unleashed as legislative policy to deliver gays and Christian from minor irritations here and there the system is flat-out being abused. Washington and state legislatures have become paradise for worry-warts and prats.

    2. Actually the baker can refuse service for any reason he wants. No one has the right to force anyone to provide them a service.

      At least in a sane world that would be the case.

  39. My best friend’s mother-in-law makes $85 /hour on the internet . She has been out of work for 5 months but last month her pay was $16453 just working on the internet for a few hours.
    Visit this website ?????

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