Nanny Schumer May Replace Reid as Top Senate Dem, Insiders Consider Ted Cruz Unready for Prime Time, Higher Ed Eyed for Budget Cuts: P.M. Links


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    1. Drudge double linked the earlier article.

      I’m surprised that so few weirdos showed up.

      Hat Tip: Swiss

      1. I don’t know what time he linked it at. It’s possible he linked it not that long ago, in which case the weirdo deluge could still be incoming.

        This guy showed up:

        “Nice job, Democrats. Replace dumb with dumber.”

        Classic Drudge comment – short and stupid. Hopefully some more of these fine upstanding gentlemen show up for the comedic value.

        1. Please, God, not CHUCKIE!!!!


    2. Hello.

      Fist is a loser.

      1. I’m in print. Everything that happens here is irrelevant.

        1. Congrats!

          *** raises Fist, er, fist in salute ***

            1. Don’t be crass in my moment of victory.

      2. Study the rules, Patriot bashers. You have to quote the article, and make a relevant comment, AND be first in order to win.

        1. There are NO winners!

    3. God damn it. I had almost forgotten about Schumer. Now we are going to have to hear that asshole on the news all the time?

      1. A good friend of mine has a very wealthy father who lives in NYC. He has a Hanukkah party every year that a few high profile people usually attend. One year Chuckie attended. Apparently he got shitfaced on wine and obnoxiously tried to monopolize the piano player and sing songs all night. I thought that was pretty perfect. Even die-hard liberals think he’s a giant asshole if they meet him.

      2. Well, we will only hear him on the news when he wants to ban something and that never happens

  2. Unthrilled GOP insiders don’t see the somewhat unready for prime time Ted Cruz as an electable presidential candidate.

    Jeb’s time to shine.

    1. Rufus just called you a loser.

      1. Playa was the kid in school who instigated fights between kids and took bets.

        1. How’s your shoulder feeling today?

          1. Actually the one where I had surgery is sore.

            1. I’m changing the odds. Don’t tell anyone else.

            2. In the fifth, your ass goes down. Say it.

              1. If he doesn’t go down in the fifth, we’ll burn his caravan with his dear old mum in it. That’ll teach the filthy piker

                1. Rumor has it, Rufus will go down at the drop of a hat.

                    1. *narrows gaze*

                2. “Pikey”, I think.

                  1. But what about ze Germanz?

    2. Unthrilled GOP insiders don’t see the somewhat unready for prime time Ted Cruz as an electable presidential candidate.

      Yea … we need a ready for prime time candidate like the last 2 Republican nominees!

    3. Yeah, the GOP insiders are just infallible when it comes to picking electable candidates.

      ProTip; if you think Bob Dole, Mitt Romney, or John McCain are “electable”, you obviously don’t know electable from unelectable, and should shut your yap.

  3. Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.) recommends that nanny-state fan Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) replace him as Senate minority leader.

    Man-ssierse for everyone!

    1. I prefer Bro.

  4. The bizarro dark matter that makes up the majority of the universe’s mass has scientists increasingly intrigued.

    So it’s light matter?

    1. “Dark” matter? That’s pretty racist.

      I’m Mr. Meeseeks.

    2. Bizzaro Bobarian no see what you did there.

      1. Dark vs. light…. weight

        It’s chocolate!

    3. Neutrinos maybe?

      1. Nope, it has mass.

        1. They have a little bit of mass. But they have ruled them out somehow. Not sure if it is just that they have too little mass (even though there are bazillions of them) or if there is some deeper theoretical reason.

          1. Neutrinos move too fast, though they interact with the same forces (gravity and the wak nuclear force) as dark matter.

        2. There’s nothing saying dark matter can’t have mass. Neutrinos are a pretty good candidate since they have very little mass, are produced in large quantities during nuclear reactions and interact very weakly with other known forms of matter and energy. There’s even a theorized “sterile” neutrino that doesn’t even participate in the “weak” nuclear force. To my knowledge they have not been ruled out yet, we just don’t have a good explanation for how so many neutrinos could be out there.

          1. Dark matter must have mass. That’s the whole point of it.

    4. I am a dark matter denialist. Also a denier.


        1. Inform me when there is a consensus on the nature of dark matter. Or do you even deny that it exists? Gravity is just, like, an opinion, man.


            The scientific consensus right now is that dark matter is composed of a new type of particle, one that interacts very weakly at best with all the known forces of the universe, except gravity.

            *Insert punchline here*

            1. “Of course, it is also a new type of *wave*.”

            2. Okay… so what part of the economy does this consensus say we need to ruin? We already did energy and health insurance.

              1. The Science is Settled!

                1. Physicists are for the most part sensible enough not to make that claim. It is very far from settled.

            3. There should be a “probably” in there somewhere. Until a candidate particle is found. New particles are still being discovered, so it seems plausible.

            4. And I think that is just another way of saying that there is some stuff out there that we can’t see. Which is pretty much the same as what they have said since they figured out that either there had to be more mass than we can see or there is something very wrong with our theory of gravity and the evolution of the universe.

            5. There is an accurate answer to punchline you’re looking for. My instict tells me. The ratio of the strength of gravity to the strength of all the others is approximately zero on your standard 16 or 24 digit calculator. But just at the edge of escape velocity, for some damn reason, at the razor’s edge of escape velocity I cannot quite find the accurate punchline.

    5. It’s an energy force that flows through all living things.

      1. Like the chemical bonds and elemental matter through which the dead move through us.

  5. Saudi Arabia and Egypt are mired fighter jet-deep in the ongoing mess in Yemen.

    The Saudis also want nukes now. Nice work, Obama.


    2. Yes, before Obama no country would have liked to have nukes.

      1. Just shut the fuck up.

        1. He’s just phoning it in at this point. He must be stressed about graduation.

          1. Are we still pretending to believe he’s a law student?

            1. Some still believe you’re male or of age, so let’s all use our imaginations.

              1. Couple days ago, Bo is whining about the portrayal women in media. Now, Bo is using sexist remarks in a poor attempt to insult Warty. Should tell you all you need to know about Bo’s consistency.

                1. You noticed that too, huh. I like women, I don’t see what would be so bad about being one. But trolls don’t care about consistency, they just want playmates. You don’t need to give them to him, remember that.

                  1. I’m more just pointing this out to you Warty (and the audience), rather than the cretin.

                    1. Notice how he’s not on his A-game today. I think our lil’ buddy is down in the dumps.

                    2. “He’s just phoning it in at this point. He must be stressed about graduation.”

                      “Notice how he’s not on his A-game today. ”

                      Usually the mindless parroting takes at least six or seven comments.

                    3. I’m pretty sure Bo doesn’t have an ‘A-game’ when it comes to insults. Of course, when you lack self-awareness to the extent that you flip out about imaginary ‘psychopathic gamergaters’ while making sexist insults perhaps we need to grade on a curve. The ‘Asperger’s/Autism’ theory becomes more plausible when I see his shitty attempts to get people annoyed, like he really doesn’t understand how people operate or think.

                    4. Wow, John is so proud of what he thinks is some big SJW inconsistency of mine he’s found. He’ll be grinning for days now

                    5. I think our lil’ buddy is down in the dumps.

                      He’ll probably cheer up if you hit him with your captain’s hat.

                    6. I’m in line with the boycott guys, don’t be mad at me!!!!


                  2. “You noticed that too, huh. I like women, I don’t see what would be so bad about being one. But trolls don’t care about consistency, they just want playmates. You don’t need to give them to him, remember that.”

                    Warty, the difference between you and Bo is that you like women who actually exist in real life whereas Bo shows that he ‘likes women’ primarily through defending women he’s never met on the internet, even when they clearly don’t need or want the support of people like him.

                    This is why even though Bo is continuously mocked by women who post on this board, he’s still convinced he’s an ardent defender of the fairer sex.

                    1. Warty, the difference between you and Bo

                      That, and about 150 pounds.

                    2. “That, and about 150 pounds.”

                      So you’re an anorexic tween? Yikes

                    3. Yes, the Women of Hit and Run are just the kind of sample I’d expect Irish to base a self justifying generalization on…lol

                    4. Women can be juvenile psychopaths too you know.

                    5. Women can be juvenile psychopaths too you know.

                      Yes! Soon, we’ll be hearing stories of them killing in the name of this internet phenomenon known as Warty Man

                    6. The Batgirl cover discussion perfectly illustrated what I’ve been saying about many of the regulars here. They’re so used to, and I guess get off on, going straight into their tired Gamergate two minute hate on feminists they predictably did so totally ignorant of all the important context there. Batgirl was given to Gail Simone in large part to reverse the treatment of the character in Killing Joke; it was recently revamped as a softer, teen girl friendly comic; the artist himself came to the conclusion that the cover was incongruent with the new direction and asked it be pulled; etc. but such nuance gets in the way of shrieking obscenities and platitudes at teh Evil Feminist SJWs!!!! (seriously the enthusiastic obsession with feminists by so many here, where did the bad woman touch you?) so it had to be ignored, and anyone ruining the two minute hate with such facts was, of course, going to get the hate turned at him. Classic juvenile Gamergate psychopath culture.

                    7. Wow now I feel like playing Call of Duty while getting drunk and making sexist jokes. Whose with me?

                    8. Jesus. Completely off the fucking rails.

                      I’m a little worried at this point.

                    9. Whoever he’s arguing with, they sound like dicks.

                    10. Are you joking here? You omitted some vital nuance in your rant about folks ignoring nuance.

                      “the artist himself came to the conclusion that the cover was incongruent with the new direction and asked it be pulled;”

                      He didn’t come to that conclusion before the “uproar” which seems to be the basis for much of the complaints here.

                      The regulars must be rubbing off on you.

                2. Warty’s not in media

            2. I tend to believe he is.

              He has that combination of brainless pedantry and obstinacy that your mid to low tier law students frequently exhibit.

              1. Have you ever seen him demonstrate any knowledge of law? He may have, but I’ve never seen it, unless you count using “infra” and “supra” like an asshole.

                1. Infrahole

            3. I believe he’s a law student. I would expect a bunch of pedantic silliness and sophistry from a law school student.

          2. From kimdergarten?

        2. Your usual quality response there

  6. …retiring Sen. Harry Reid (D-Nev.) recommends that nanny-state fan Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) replace him as Senate minority leader.

    I wonder how much that cost Schumer.

    1. A promise about Yucca Mountain.

    2. A quart of fresh moob milk.

  7. Quebec vows to create its own long-gun registry despite Supreme Court ruling

    The Quebec government will build its own long gun registry with or without federal co-operation, the province’s public security minister said after the Supreme Court of Canada ruled to destroy Quebec’s federal registry data.


    1. Il a fait sa d?cision, maintenant laissez-lui de l’appliquer.

      1. Speak white.

        1. That’s your decision, now let’s see you enforce it. Or thereabouts.

          1. Thereaboots

    2. The entire country rejects and the Liberals AND NDP have publicly stated A) it was an expensive disaster and B) that they were not going to go with it.

      Quebec is truly ‘unique.’

      1. Prononc? comme “YOO-NEE-KAY”.

      2. “special,” as it were.

    3. Ficke Sheisskopfen!!

  8. Shootings by police officers would have to be investigated by somebody other than their own employers…

    I think union contracts would make this proposal illegal.

    1. Contracts can’t violate laws.

      1. You are obviously not familiar with pubsec union contracts, which supersede any inconsistent laws.

  9. Bizarro dark matter hate Super matter. Bizarro dark matter only matter that matters.

      1. You, my friend, are the ultimate challenge! We’re going to have very merry games, you and I!

  10. The bloated public higher education sector is on the chopping block as governors around the country consider a new round of budget-balancing cuts.

    Those monsters! How can any college be expected to function with 10 bureaucrats to every professor instead of 13?

    1. +1 Deputy Assistant Dean of Student Cultural Assimilation

  11. Apologies for missing the meat up last night in El Segundo, how was it?

    1. Meat up? Are these gatherings more fun than is let on?

      1. Steak for dinner sometime soon.

    2. meat up

      In public?

      1. How is this different from the Reason cruising?

    3. Derpetologist is dead.

      1. Did you guys eat him?

        1. Nah. I got a bag of crunchy cheetos from the bartender. And that’s what I had for dinner.

      2. Dead…sexy?

        1. Who isn’t? For you!

          1. Dead things. It deactivates his prey drive, which takes the fun out of it.

            1. I always imagined he’d be like my tomcat. Tossing the carcass in the air and pretending that it flinched, just to get some more practice.

      3. Traded him for Mexican ass and weed?

    4. I never got my email.

      Jesse, you shall be hearing from my second. This calls for a duel.

  12. Saudi Arabia and Egypt are mired fighter jet-deep in the ongoing mess in Yemen.


  13. The bizarro dark matter that makes up the majority of the universe’s mass has scientists increasingly intrigued.

    Careful, it’ll turn you into a newt! /janeway

  14. …instead of taking an interest in murderous religious fanaticism.

    Thanks, prohibition.

  15. This may be my last post here. Things here in Indiana have reached a critical stage. I’m not sure I can survive much longer. All businesses have posted signs that say “No blacks, no gays.” Roving bands of Christian fundamentalists in white pickups are randomly lynching everyone who can’t name all of Gideon’s children. The police do nothing, claiming they have a religious right to sit on their couches and eat Cheetos.

    1. Conform and you’ll get a table.

    2. I read this before, it’s by Atwood right?

    3. The police do nothing, claiming they have a religious right to sit on their couches and eat Cheetos.

      So, just like everywhere else?

      1. Orange dicks. Is that the street slang for these cops who eat cheetos?

    4. “randomly lynching everyone who can’t name all of Gideon’s children”

      I chuckled. Thanks.

    5. “white pickups” Ew, how tacky! The lynching’s not so good either.

      1. “white pickups”

        Is that like

        1. OKC. Who wants to spend money or get into a relationship? Use whiteys prefer free and NSA.

    6. I see somebody has been reading the Huffington Post.

  16. The bloated public higher education sector is on the chopping block as governors around the country consider a new round of budget-balancing cuts.

    I wonder which will be scaled back, administrative staff or educators.

    1. The Engineering Department and the Campus Police.

      1. The sole cut will be canceling the bottled-water delivery service for the teachers lounge (after an announcement that ‘we all have to make sacrifices”. That will lead to a meet-and-confer demand from the teachers union, resulting in the water cooler’s return.


    Why do the Obamas need a full time florist?


    1. To send flowers to everyone made sicker by Obamacare

      1. Talk about a jobs project.

    2. I think that’s been a long standing position

      1. Hmmm. Nothing left to cut?

    3. To give the seventeen calligraphers something to look at?

    4. Well, they have a full time calligrapher, so why not?

    5. Why do the Obamas need a full time florist?

      The Wookie’s horoscope said, “If you’re a Taurus, see your florist.”

      1. They have a full time astrologer too?

        1. It’s a quote from the legendary Kentucky Fried Movie, which introduced us to the guys who later made Airplane! If you haven’t seen it, it’s a lot of skits and parodies of commercials/tv shows/films in the same humor vein as Airplane! It’s main section is a 20-minute spoof of Enter the Dragon that is spot-on and hilarious.

          1. I’ll add it to my to-dos. The list has a 9 month backlog, so we can hopefully discuss it early 2016.

          2. I remember ‘Catholic High School Girls in Trouble’ from KFM.

            Funny shit.

  18. A theme park plans to cut down more than 18,000 trees for the construction of what it says will be the largest solar farm in New Jersey.

    Six Flags spokeswoman Kristin Siebeneicher tells the Asbury Park Press the park and KDC Solar have pledged to replant 25,000 trees over a period of seven years.

    “And, to top it off, the irrigation system uses our solar power!”

    1. Ha ha ha ha, god damn I swear the entire environmental movement is like a cross-eyed soldier constantly shooting his own squadmates.

      1. You have to remember that they are the opposite of conservationists.


    What do you know? Apparently, there is no luminiferous ether.

    1. These guys are infamous luminiferous ether denialists. I just can’t figure out whose payroll they’re on.

      1. They’re in the pocket of Big Relativity.

  20. A New Trek series is in the works. ‘Bout time.…..turn-to-tv

    Federation would have seen the titular group reduced to a mere peacekeeping force as the old ways broke apart. Vulcans withdraw from the United Federation of Planets and reunify with the Romulans, the Bajorans of Deep Space Nine would have also withdrawn and become a planet full of religious monks, like a “Tibet in space.” The Klingons wouldn’t be as warrior-obsessed anymore, but would instead be warrior mystics. The Ferengi would have a female Nagus. The Cardassians would have abandoned war and become an artist/philosopher race.

    Not sure if it’ll work as a network show though…

    1. However this is pretty vague:
      We don’t have too many details about the new Star Trek series CBS is going to get working on,

    2. Bryan Singer’s name has been mentioned for the new CBS Trek as a possible Executive Producer through his Bad Hat Harry productions.

      So the Enterprise-K will be manned solely by teenage boys?

      1. Trivia question: I saw something on tv recently which I’m sure was the source of the Bad Hat Harry name. I’m not even going to look it up because as soon as I saw and heard it I knew it must be the source. You can look if you want, maybe it’s easily found on google.

        Do you know where the Bad Hat Harry line came from?

        Hint: think a very famous movie from the 1970s.

          1. Just like the fabled Kitnerboy Redoubt safe from Bad Santa came from “that little Kitner boy”

      2. So the Enterprise-K will be manned solely by teenage boys?

        Star Trick, then

        1. Why not an HBO series based on the lives and exploits of Orion Slave Girls? Star Trek: It’s Not Easy Being Green.

          1. Orion Slave Girls

            Star Trick, then?

            1. Well, I did propose a title, but here’s another: Star Twat.

              1. Star Twat.


                /figuring out how that Vulcan nerve pinch will play in

    3. So all conflicts have been resolved?

    4. So everybody has gotten withdrawn and peaceful.

      Yeah, that’ll make for a thrill-packed series.

      1. Well that is Roddenberry’s vision after all. Everyone agrees on everything (including atheism) and accepts death (which is why they need Counselor Troi).

      2. To be fair that was a rejected concept from before the reboot movies, though if this show gets off the ground it will be similar probably.

      3. I still say that the next reboot movie should be an all-out war between the Federation and the Mirror Terran Empire. They have a chance to avoid all the DS9 mirror universe bullshit and give evil Kirk some big screen lovin’.

    5. Isn’t “Bajoran” a pejorative?

  21. Don’t feed the troll plz.

    1. But if we don’t feed them they get hungry

    2. The never ending quest….

  22. Feds Financing System to ‘Automatically Detect’ Cyberbullying

    [The project leader] did not respond to a request for comment.

    Of course not, you ninnies! His system flagged that request as cyberbullying!


    The entire Three Days of the Condor screenplay.

  24. I read the headline as ‘Nancy Schumer May Replace Reid’ and thought, wow I’ve missed some news lately.

    1. “… Transitioning To Minority Leader”

  25. Unthrilled GOP insiders don’t see the somewhat unready for prime time Ted Cruz as an electable presidential candidate.

    You Know Who Else the GOP insiders thought was electable?

  26. The good Christy, not the bad Christie.

    Feisty Ala. climate change critic claims Washington is trying to intimidate him

    Before Congress, Christy has often struck a more combative posture.

    “It appears the nation has indeed enacted knee-jerk remedies to ‘combat climate change’ through regulations on carbon dioxide,” he told a House panel in December 2013. “I warned this committee in 1996 that these would be ‘unproductive and economically damaging.'”

    In the same testimony,Christy submitted comments from fellow climate scientist Curry of Georgia Tech likening the IPCC to an entity that has stifled scientific inquiry and worked to infect the scientific and policy communities with false findings, much the way a disease infects an organism. “We need to put down the IPCC as soon as possible — not to protect the patient who seems to be thriving in its own little cocoon, but for the sake of the rest of us whom it is trying to infect with its disease,” Curry said.

  27. Do I know better than to get into FB arguments about politics? Yes. Did I act on this knowledge? No. Because I think people who refuse service to gays are bigots apparently means I’m an anti-religous bigot who supports laws that would force people to do so. Since I don’t that makes me a homophobe. I haven’t seen this many strawmen since the October scarecrow community display. I like you guys and few women. I don’t feel so crazy here.

    1. I haven’t gotten in a Facebook political fight in years. I like to drop hugely controversial political posts into my timeline without any indication of how I feel about the situation, and just watch what happens. Endless entertainment and I don’t have to sully myself by engaging with frothing at the mouth Facebook posters.

      1. ” I like to drop hugely controversial political posts into my timeline without any indication of how I feel about the situation, and just watch what happens. ”

        Yes, that’s normal and level headed of you Mr. Malvo

        1. Aw. Is little Bo a little obsessed with me?

          That’s cute.

          1. Yeah, that’s the marked obsession on this board

            1. Given your continued posting on a board where you hate everyone and everyone hates you, yes, I think you’re the obsessed one.

              1. “everyone hates you”

                Has this worked for you since elementary school?

                1. Has this worked for you since elementary school?

                  Whether it did or didn’t is irrelevant, dickhead.

                  It is still true that everyone hates you.

    2. Welcome back, please join us in our next round of Kool-Aid

    3. Here is a great article explaining how the whole Indiana bill really doesn’t do anything besides getting people on both teams riled up.

      1. So it’s being driven by Gawker and Drudge?

  28. Amazon knows what to do about minimum wage increases.

    And if anyone is interested in what the machine learning that they talk about in the article looks like, here’s an example.
    The Unscented Kalman Filter

    1. There are no tits in that book. So I’m not really interested.

    2. I am a Kalman filter denialist.

      1. At any multi-rate, that’s not very nyquist.

      2. Late to the party and probably no one will read this, but the C-130 uses a Kalman filter (or maybe Kahlman) to combine INS, GPS and DME/DME readings to determine the most accurate position. Spoiler alert: it’s almost always close to the GPS position.

        1. Oh yeah, not scented either.

    3. I prefer my Kalman Filters to be lavander scented.

      1. Well dammit, that popped this unexpectedly into my head.

    4. I believe the robots are our future.
      Teach them well and let them lead the way.
      Show them all the coding they possess inside.
      Give them a sense of pride to make it easier.
      Let the robot’s laughter remind us how we used to work.

  29. What do you do when you’re in charge of the Chinese internet and fuck up your responsibilities as an internationally trusted certificate authority? Censor the news about it, of course!

    And Baidu (China’s Google analogue) DDoSed GitHub today. I’m sure the CCP had nothing to do with it…

    1. TOP MEN!/ Tom Friedman/Lew Rockwell

    2. Here is a less technical description of the DDoSing.

    3. Oh, and since Derpetologist is dead, here’s a great comment on the GitHub attack:

      The Chinese government is telling the world with this attack that, if you choose to interfere with Chinese sovereignty by means of the Internet, or to enable those who would do that, then there’s a cost.

      Note the way the attack is targeted. It’s not just an indiscriminate DDoS of Github, although that’s been the effect ? instead, they’re aiming specifically at two repos whose content, being designed and built with the aim of circumventing the technical means by which are implemented a significant goal of China’s domestic policy, enables no more or less than a direct attack on the sovereignty of the Chinese government.

      To use that content is to say: “You may not run your country in the fashion you choose, because it does not suit me that you should do so.”

      To host that content is to say: “In this matter, we take the side of those attacking the sovereignty of the Chinese government, by making it easy for them to share and improve the tools with which they do so.”

      1. What you’re seeing, then, is the quite reasonable response of the Chinese government to these statements. Yes, it’s annoying for those of us who use Github, and no doubt it’s much worse than merely annoying for those who administer Github. That is the point. Github is being encouraged to consider how much it’s worth to them to maintain the stance they’ve implicitly taken in this matter. I’m looking forward to seeing how they respond.

        What a tool. Even worse, he’s an Emacs user.

        1. Sheldon Richman?

          1. No, some guy on Hacker News.

        2. Fuck Emacs. I haven’t bothered to use Linux in years because I’m lazy, but I was always a Vim partisan.

          1. Yeah. I actually don’t give a shit, I just felt like throwing that grenade.

            I generally don’t use either, but when I have to use one or the other I use Vim, because it’s what I was forced to superficially learn.

            1. “Partisan” = “I could remember a few of the key bindings”. Yeah, I never cared much either. Part of the reason I lost interest in Linux is that nerd pissing contests are so boring.

              I think I gravitated toward XEmacs after a while, come to think of it.

              1. Nerd pissing contests are the fucking worst. Ugh.

                I just use a normal, almost completely uncustomized Ubuntu install. I customized the shit out of things when I was in high school, but nowadays I just don’t have the energy.

                1. I once downloaded some distro’s source, looked at the steps to build it, deleted everything, I downloaded and played Max Payne. I was happier for it.

                2. This quote about Usenet pretty much applies to nerd urination contests.

                  Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea — massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind-boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it

                  –Gene Spafford


              2. I think I gravitated toward XEmacs after a while, come to think of it.

                YOU’RE WORSE THAN HITLER!!!!!!!111!Q!!!!!!!

                1. *furiously builds optimized kernel*

                  1. Oh god, I rebuilt, and as you say, “optimized” the kernel on my Gateway laptop so many fucking times…

                    TEH SPEEDZZZZZZ

          2. Fucking pussy. All you need is good old vi. Vim is for those who are too soft for a man’s editor.

            But definitely agree that emacs users should be fucked in the neck.

            1. M-c M-x go-fuck-yourself

            2. +1

        3. What you’re seeing, then, is the quite reasonable response of the Chinese government to these statements.

          Yes, its perfectly reasonable for a government to attack overseas facilities not under its jurisdiction in order to enforce thought control on its population.

          1. You know, now that government are all obsessed with the Internet, I say we start sending massive amounts of censored facts via telegram and fax.


    “Experimental Demonstration of Violations of the Second Law of Thermodynamics for Small Systems and Short Time Scales”

    “We experimentally demonstrate the fluctuation theorem, which predicts appreciable and measurable violations of the second law of thermodynamics for small systems over short time scales, by following the trajectory of a colloidal particle captured in an optical trap that is translated relative to surrounding water molecules.”

    1. As an engineer, I read that and said “What?”

    2. That’s from 2002. I’m sure if this were confirmed and really violated the 2nd Law we would have hard all about it in the news.

      “From each particle trajectory, we calculate the entropy production/consumption over the duration of the trajectory and determine the fraction of second law?defying trajectories. Our results show entropy consumption can occur over colloidal length and time scales.”

      Maybe their calculations are wrong.


    “The top 10 classic spy novels”

    1. Just once I want a spy novel about the ugly guy who works at the patent office and sells random stuff to the Soviets on the side.

      1. Circle of Treason is pretty close, and it’s true.

      2. like this guy? http://articles.chicagotribune…..sudoplatov

    2. Matt Helms novels are some of my favorite ones – a protagonist who is a hunter, will shoot through the damsel-in-distress to get the target, but also likes old pick up trucks, mixed drinks, and dogs.

      1. _Matt Helm_ not Helm’s

  32. Special forces set to swarm Southwest and operate undetected among civilians in massive military exercise.

    Seven Southwestern states will soon be infiltrated by 1,200 military special ops personnel as part of a controversial domestic military training in which some of the elite soldiers will operate undetected among civilians.

    Operation Jade Helm begins in July and will last for eight weeks. Soldiers will operate in and around towns in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah and Colorado where some of them wil drop from planes while carrying weapons loaded with blanks in what military officials have dubbed Realistic Military Training.

    But with residents of the entire states of Texas and Utah dubbed ‘hostile’ for the purposes of the exercises, Jade Helm has some concerned the drills are too realistic.

    1. By “operate undetected by civilians”, do they mean getting drunk at bars and NOT picking fights? What will they do for 8 weeks, walk around with a rifle stuffed down their leg and talk into their hand?

    2. “Elite Soldiers Killed in Freak ‘Neighborhood Watch’ Incident”

    3. Military officials say they’ve gotten the go ahead for the operations from local authorities such as mayors and county commissions.

      And sheriff’s deputies told the Houston Chronicle they would ensure residents living near where aircraft were slated to create disturbances and drop soldiers, civilian and military vehicles will barrel through and where blank rounds would be fired.

      So the one guy who misses the memo and shoots a trainee – is he going to get in trouble?

      1. And sheriff’s deputies told the Houston Chronicle they would ensure residents living near where aircraft were slated to create disturbances and drop soldiers, civilian and military vehicles will barrel through and where blank rounds would be fired.

        The deputies are going to ensure what, again?

      2. Didn’t anybody ever see Southern Comfort?

    4. Whats going to happen when officer shit-for-brains sees one of these guys carrying a weapon?

    5. Soldiers will operate in and around towns in Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, California, Nevada, Utah and Colorado where some of them wil drop from planes while carrying weapons loaded with blanks

      Why are they loaded AT ALL!?

      I’m picturing some goofball in full camo hiding in a bush in a public park, then blasting away with his weapon when some kids find him.

      *BLAM BLAM*

      “OK, you kids have to lie down now–I got you, you’re dead.”

    6. “Seven Southwestern states will soon be infiltrated by 1,200 military special ops personnel as part of a controversial domestic military training in which some of the elite soldiers will operate undetected among civilians.”

      So let me get this straight… Alex Jones isn’t crazy after all?

    7. So basically a scaled up and retarded version of Robin Sage?

      I predict a rash of training-related deaths as a bunch of SpecOps guys thinking they’re being sneaky ninjas get fucking blasted with real bullets by locals not in on the joke.

      The shitheels who dreamed this up should be censured and relieved of duty.

      Also, where’s LTC Swiss to give a narrowed gaze?

  33. Here’s More Proof the U.S. Economy Is Beating the Rest of the World

    Profits originating outside the U.S. dropped by $36.1 billion in the fourth quarter, the biggest decrease since 2008 and the second-biggest since 2002. This would be money earned by big multinational companies, such as Coca-Cola Co. or Wal-Mart Stores Inc., as well as any business that sells goods and services abroad.

    Profits from the rest of the world accounted for the smallest share of total corporate earnings since 2006 and have been on the downswing for years.…..-the-world

    1. And yet Barack Obama would like us to have policies much more similar to Europe than we currently do.

      Why is Obama trying to fashion our policies after countries who are vastly less successful than we are? It is a mystery.

    2. In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king.

    3. Or it could mean the world economy is in the shitter, too.

      1. Funny, isn’t it? Weigel had a full day to try to come up with a new talking point for Q1 GDP estimates being revised down to a pathetic 0.2%, and the best he can come up with is “the rest of the world is sucking wind too!”

        1. That’s all that’s propping us up, including the dollar, right now. There are a lot of bad statistics we have to ignore to think we’re even remotely close to our economic potential. The parasite is weakening us and shows no signs of relenting. Our relative strength against the rest of the world won’t last forever, either.

    4. Exchange rates, how do they work?

  34. Hey where is the Derpologist? I’m in the mood for some quality derp.

    1. Did the comments I posted last night kill him?

    2. Apparently dead. He died doing what he loved…torturing his fellow man with the worst the internet has to offer.

      1. “Did he at least go peacefully? …To shreds, you say. How’s his wife holding up? …To shreds, you say…”

      2. Apparently dead.
        I don’t get it?

        1. Upthread Playa Manhattan announces his sad passing.

          1. So he’s really dead, like JsubD dead? Or is this some H’n’R inside joke I don’t get?

            1. He’s probably just shaking uncontrollably in a bathtub somewhere in SoCal while he sweats out last night’s heroin. I’m sure he’ll be back in no time.

            2. It’s tough to tell sometimes. You might try asking if *Suki* is “really” dead.

              1. Was Suki ever alive?

                1. “All the love that you missed, all those people that you can’t recall — Do they really exist at all?”

                  1. Wow, a Lowell George reference. This board never ceases to amaze me.

            3. I assume it’s a joke, you should probably ask someone who actually interacts with him regularly (and in-person) to check.

            4. He drank too much last night. He’s sleeping off a hangover somewhere in a dark room.

              1. Suki is a character that John Tagliaferro created. You can read about their adventures together in his BDSM fiction.

  35. Rand Paul to Evangelicals: Gay marriage symptomatic of “spiritual crisis”, America needs another Great Awakening

    I actually read that as being the most liberarianish way to reach Evangelicals.

    He explicitly tells them not to look to Washington to address these issues.

    1. Ugh. I know that if you want to be president you have to build a coalition, but…ugh.

      1. If they want to set up their big tents they can go ahead and do that. I’m satisfied with these stupid culture issues not being fought on Capitol Hill or in the White House.

        1. I see a propensity for obesity. Poverty. A yen for fairy tales. Folks putting what few bucks they do have into a little wicker basket being passed around. I think it’s safe to say nobody here’s gonna be splitting the atom.

    2. Or he actually eats his own dog food and is just another Christian crackpot.

    3. We would be so much better off if the evangelicals understood that culture war issues need to be fought in the cultural realm, not the political. Make your own movies, television shows, music, etc to counter all the ones you think are bad.

      I would say we would be better off if the Progressives did the same, but I know thats never going to happen.

    1. You’re just part of the Angry White Man’s Brigade.

      1. That’s the Offended White Man’s Brigade to you sir! The Angry White Man’s Brigade are just a bunch of assholes.

        1. The Angry Offended White Man’s Brigade of Privilege are the real deal.

        2. The Offended White Man’s Brigade is just a cheap knockoff of the Offended White Guy Brigade, anyway.

          1. I think the phrase you are looking for is “Fucking splitters!”

    2. Hmm.

      1. If you’re a CA employment lawyer, and you can’t even get the jury to find in your favor on 1 count, you should be disbarred.

        It’s like fishing in a barrel with dynamite.

      2. So the jury went back, and somebody changed their vote to favor Kleiner. So Pao loses on all counts.

        1. So you can mau-mau the Pao.

        2. I like the Twitter response guy who says “settle down there, Chief” and explains how the jury works and what happens.

          But what happens if the guy he scolded has Native American blood? It could be time for another lawsuit!

    3. So, it has been flagged and downvoted, but someone posted this on the relevant Hacker News thread:

      Absolutely shocking. Ellen Pao is a hero for daring to speak out against KPCB, and the men on this jury are a disgrace.

      This is a great time to show support for women who are STANDING UP against abuse and discrimination in tech.

      Clicking the username yielded some good derp:

      I find the term “colonization” offensive. So after having colonized all of the people of earth, white men want to colonize other planets next. The thirst for power of white men truly has no limits. Disgusting.

      As a woman in this industry, you have to be twice as good as men to be taken seriously. Thankfully that is easy.

      I want to believe that this user is a Poe, but alas, she’s got a decent number of “normal” posts under her belt.

      1. *shudder*

        Hate to break it to ya, hun, but women in the tech industry are given ass-tons of opportunity, no matter their actual talent level. It’s a supply problem, not a demand problem.

        I worked with some of the top female software engineers in the industry, and they’re downright amazing. They’re fucking brilliant, and you can’t tell the difference between them and the best male developers. I’ve also worked with some average female engineers, and the drop off is amazing. I’ve never really come across an “above average” female engineer. They’re either best-of-the-best, or they’re rather forgettable and tend to get out of industry rather quickly, either by kid or by change in career track.

  36. Well, I think that makes it official. The democratic party are on a kamikaze mission.

    1. That was made pretty clear back in 2010…

      1. matt’s Welch’s predictive abilities are on full display here:…

        You should never take a politician at his word. But you should listen to what he campaigns on day after day, especially if he goes on to win big. Amid Obama’s host of illiberal campaign ideas?”fair” trade, centralized energy policy, New Deal?style infrastructure projects, more federal dollars into the sinkhole of public schools?the Democratic candidate also spiced his daily stump speech with a firm-sounding nod to fiscal responsibility. Coupled with a sorry budget situation that’s certain to get worse as a result of massive income tax losses from Wall Street, this commitment to fiscal sobriety may strangle many of Obama’s more expensive fantasies in the crib and crack open the door for ending or privatizing any number of inefficient federal programs.

        1. this again?

        2. ha ha ha

      2. But they still had to remove any doubts in 2014. And it seems they’re not done convincing yet.

  37. Does everyone hate Bo?

    1. Well, if this doesn’t get him properly spun up, nothing will.

    2. Well, we’ll at least be able to put some data to Irish’s assertion upthread.

    3. Wow I’ve never seen anyone on here become so universally despised so quickly. I love it.

      1. You know, there are a lot of socks gunning for Resident Punching Bag, but he’s really got them all beat. And the best part is he is completely unaware of it. It’s pretty incredible, I find it endlessly amusing to watch.

        1. Did you see that post upthread about Bat Girl comics and how we all need to be so empathetic about it or we’re all a bunch of gamergate sexist haters?

          That was fucking derptastic if anything ever was. I can’t even think of what to reply to something like that.

          1. Oh, I can:


            See? Easy.

          2. It was surreal. What prompted it? Who’s talking about comic books?

            1. I vaguely mentioned it when I was pointing out that he’s acting like a sexist piece of shit for no reason, and that somehow turned into a cue to spew nonsense.

              1. We call those weekdays around here.

            2. Who’s talking about comic books?

              I am. I just read the 2nd to last Multiversity book last night. It wasn’t half bad. I’m curious to see where Morrison will take all of this.

    4. And just like in real life, I feel like my vote will accomplish nothing.

      1. Also I really wonder why my location is several hundred kilometers away from where I actually am.

        1. My location didn’t show up 🙁

          1. You don’t actually exist!!!

            1. In what cruel world do I not exist, but Bo does?

          2. Deep Space 9 Season 5 Episode 6.

            1. Is that the one with the giant horny salamanders formed by traveling too fast?

              1. That was The Langoliers

              2. Goddammit Winston I know you’re just mentioning that to piss me off.

                …Stop succeeding.

            2. They nearly stole my pun!

        2. Mine was only a couple miles away.

          1. I’ll be at your place in 20 minutes. I hope you made enough dinner.

      2. All you can do is try.

    5. You needed to add a “no” option just to make it all the more insulting when nobody bothers clicking on it.

      1. You needed to add a “no” option

        You’re halfway to getting the actual joke I intended.

    6. Oh my.

    7. The east coast is really representing!

    8. I had to vote on this…

    9. HEY = SHOUT OUT FROM GERMANY! represent

      1. Who?

        1. Now I know how you voted.

          1. I am the 2%

            1. Hey, are you still in the vicinity of ManchVegas?

              1. I am in Hampton now, but I’m commuting to MCPHS

                1. One of these days, you, me, and BP will have to get together.

                  1. That would be awesome.

                  2. I don’t know if I’m cool enough, but I’m in southern NH too and could be interested in actually meeting some H&R weirdos.

                    1. Sounds good.

                      I made a masked email available from my handle in case I miss the announcement.

                      I’m out. I have a 12 hour shift Saturday and Sunday.

                    2. Just so you guys know BP is back in Florida now.

                    3. Well, We’ll just have to fly the sonofabitch up!

                    4. If anything is arranged and I’m not around, email should be in my name link for this comment only. I’ll get an email if you comment on my blog that no one reads too.

                    5. Or not. zdahl wesleyan edu

                    6. This is what I get for going to the Boston meet-up… I missed this. I’ll send mail to Trials and Trippelations and Zeb.

      2. There is a team of scientists here who would like to cut your brain open and study it. Are you done with it yet?

        1. Rumor has it I’ve yet to begin using it.

      3. I don’t hate Bo.

        You’re not a Team Red apologist.

        1. Shockingly, you being a delusional crackpot tends to make your opinion on that worthless.

      4. I don’t hate Bo either, I just find his (original) style to be unnecessarily and intentionally obnoxious, and I just feel sorry for him now that he’s gone full troll.

        Maybe I’m just immune to arrogant, smug law student pricks because I’m forced to be around them every day.

        1. Agreed, but “unnecessarily and intentionally obnoxious” describes about 76% of the regulars here.

          1. Yeah, but for the most part that’s all in good humor.

            I pretty much agree on Bo, though. He’s kind of pathetic and often annoying, but I think his heart’s in the right place. But he does seem to be losing his shit lately.

            1. Yeah, but for the most part that’s all in good humor.

              Indeed. As a chronic wise-ass, I count myself among the “unnecessarily and intentionally obnoxious”.

          2. I guess I see some of the regulars differently. There is an atmosphere here that takes some getting used to, and there is a reputation economy, but I don’t think that most of the regulars are pricks just to be pricks (Buttplug excluded, but he’s self aware when he’s being a prick). There are definitely a bunch of throwaway comments on here from regulars, and I’m frankly not interested in the “run off Bo” campaign, despite understanding their motivation. However, at least most of the regulars make serious contributions to the discussion when they’re not fucking around. Some have their hobby horses, some are rather sarcastic and blunt (Aspie even), but nobody has a laser focus on irrelevant and basic assumptions like Bo does.

            On occasion that sort of analysis is warranted, but we’re not writing master’s theses, we’re talking on the internet. General Internet decorum says that you grant the other person leeway in their assumptions made in order to get to the main point of argument. Unless those assumptions severely undercut the argument, they’re not worth wasting time and being adversarial.

            Bo does the exact opposite. He focuses on stuff that is barely germane to the topic, and it takes 40+ posts to get him to contribute to the conversation. I tried when I was bored one time, hasn’t been worth my time since. This all while folks are having serious conversations. It’s fine to post stupid shit in a stupid thread, it’s different to shit on a serious thread.

    10. Wait, who here lives in Hesse? Or this another really wrong geographic location? Whoever you are Frankfurt kicks ass.

      1. Hessen, Hessen
        Muss Scheiss Fressen!

        /1FCK chant at Frankfurt Eintract

    11. I don’t hate Bo. If you want to hate nameless posters on the Internet, go read the comments at the New Yorker, New York Times, etc.

      And even if every single one of his posts were 180 degrees different from my views (they’re not) I’d still respect the guy for engaging the name callers here.

    12. Do not care for/bored with as troll.

      I try not to hate anyone, being a Godbotherer and all that. Even the JAM, HIG, AQ, Talib and IRGC that tried to kill me – I don’t hate. Now, love mine enemies…I am still falling short.

  38. Kerry = ‘The Middle East is a Disastrous Quagmire Where We Can’t Even Influence Our ‘Allies’ – Maybe I Should Focus on Fixing Our Email or Something

  39. Confession = I think Amanda Knox is hot

    1. Was hot. Was.

      1. She’s a real killer.

      2. Killer good looks too.

      3. Looks to kill for.

        1. A face that launched a thousand Valtrex prescriptions.

      4. “Pl?ya Manhattan.|2015/03/27 17:50:19|#5186962

        Was hot. Was.”

        Oh, after acquittal…. no more magic-sauce?

        For me it was “not knowing, not caring”.

        1. She doesn’t look like this anymore:

    2. She should write a book called “If I Did It” to troll the Limeys

      1. I suppose all white people are alike? Racist…oh wait no.

    3. I feel so sorry for her. Fucking Italian men and their weird fantasy stereotypes of American women as nympho-sex-fiends. Fucking Airstrip One tabloids that will make shit up to move papers.

      For the rest of her life some portion of nutjobs, clueless people and English subjects will treat her as if she were a murderer.

      1. In all stereotypes there is a kernal of truthiness.

    4. This isn’t final, right? The Wop prosecutor can still attempt to make a name for himself by re-re-re-convicting her?

      1. I think it’s final.

        The Italian judicial system has adopted a quintuple jeapordy rule.

        Unless the English adopt a line from the U.S. playbook and decide to kidnap her and try her in the UK, she’s done.

      2. From BBC:

        The decision is the final ruling in the long-running case.

  40. “The bizarro dark matter that makes up the majority of the universe’s mass has scientists increasingly intrigued.”

    Space Racism

    1. Spracism.

    2. So, is night time racist now?

      1. What do you mean, “night time”? Its daytime *somewhere*. Racist.

  41. I think Gilmore has a good chance of making a certain Google Plus page.

    Congrats in advance.

    1. I didn’t even know such a thing existed. Is there a link somewhere? Cuz I can pile on some trollerific material if that’s what’s required to forever ink my name into the annuls of internet badassery

      1. to forever ink my name into the annuls of internet badassery

        .., as opposed to, say, commenting on Hit & Run?

        1. I’m of the belief that I’ll be banhammered and all my comments scrubbed and wiped before it’s all said and done. For I am a thoughtcriminal.

          1., brah.

      2. Google Kizone Kaprow.

          1. But don’t you want to know if you made the grade for that strange, hateful creature?

    2. I told them a million times, I have no interest in modeling for MENSA’s “swimsuit edition”

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