Friday Funnies: The Next Political Messiah

Henry Payne | 3.27.2015 7:00 AM

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Fist of Etiquette 10 years ago

Rated R? Cruz must drop a second f-bomb.
invisible furry hand 10 years ago

Too many syllables for a movie poster
Monty Crisco 10 years ago

Cruz may get my support just by how much the left hates him. But -DAMN!- he sure can sound pedantic sometimes.

Like when Bobby gave the SOTU rebuttal like he was addressing a room of 5 yr olds...
1. Gweskoyen 10 years ago
  
  Cruz' problem is that not even the right likes him. http://fivethirtyeight.com/dat.....ed-reagan/
  1. Restoras, OWG and RWC 10 years ago
    
    This makes me like him even more.
John Galt 10 years ago

Shouldn't the 'registered trademark' symbol by Richard Nixon's knee be inside a circle not a box?
1. PapayaSF 10 years ago
  
  That's the MPAA rating.
WTF 10 years ago

Why is the person on the corner with a Jewfro holding a halberd?

*SLAP!*
1. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
  
  *slap!*
  1. Swiss Servator... Switzy! 10 years ago
    
    *Slappity, slap, slap*
    1. Slammer 10 years ago
      
      Halberd? I thought that was the world's largest roasting stick and giant marshmallow, because movie poster or something.
      1. Swiss Servator... Switzy! 10 years ago
        
        I suppose I should say it is a Swiss Pike of Liberty, or a giant fondue dipping stick with a bit of beef on it?
    2. Rich 10 years ago
      
      *slap!*
      1. Almanian! 10 years ago
        
        *SLAP!*
2. AlmightyJB 10 years ago
  
  Jewfro. Funny:)
Pro Libertate 10 years ago

Not that Cruz doesn't have plenty of flaws, but being remotely like Obama isn't one of them.
1. John Galt 10 years ago
  
  I do recall more than a few glassy eyed Obama supporters claiming him to be the second coming of the Jesus, don't think I've heard any Cruz supporters claiming anything even remotely similar.
  1. Restoras, CRW 10 years ago
    
    Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
    1. Almanian! 10 years ago
      
      I thought nobody messed with the Zohan, too. Is that true?
  2. soflarider 10 years ago
    
    It's pronounced hay-soos!
    1. Entropy Void 10 years ago
      
      Chuy from Chicago!
2. Mike M. 10 years ago
  
  The only thing they have in common is they were both born in foreign countries (rimshot).
UnCivilServant 10 years ago

Who vandalized the MiB poster with political speech?
1. Swiss Servator... Switzy! 10 years ago
  
  The halberd carrying Jewfro?
  
  h/t WTF
Cdr Lytton 10 years ago

By that trail of floating dirt, the guy on the far right must be grownup Pig-Pen. Who are the others? Needs moar labels.
1. Swiss Servator... Switzy! 10 years ago
  
  Always needz moar labelz, Commander, always.
Gweskoyen 10 years ago

I don't think Payne knows what silver-tongued means because Ted Cruz sure isn't.
1. soflarider 10 years ago
  
  Compared to George Bush he is. It's all in the context.
Slammer 10 years ago

The tie colors are reversed.
1. Swiss Servator... Switzy! 10 years ago
  
  You found the Easter Egg!
  1. Slammer 10 years ago
    
    Extra scene! Yes! I mean, no, please no, I don't wanna see anymore.
    1. sarcasmic 10 years ago
      
      This?
2. Rich 10 years ago
  
  You mean, on the gold and white tie?
  1. Swiss Servator... Switzy! 10 years ago
    
    *narrows gaze*
    1. Almanian! 10 years ago
      
      SOME DAY YOUR EYES ARE GONNA FREEZE IN THAT POSITION, SWISS!!!!
      
      /Swiss' Mom
soflarider 10 years ago

Is Cruz an unknown entity that talks to ignorant voters out of both sides of his mouth?
1. carol 10 years ago
  
  Not that I'm aware of. But then his ability to drive both the Left and the Right nuts is a bonus for me.
2. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
  
  He's a politician, so the later part of that is "true". The question is "Is he an unknown entitiy"?
  1. Rich 10 years ago
    
    And, if so, a "known unknown entity" or an "unknown unknown entity"?
    1. Swiss Servator... Switzy! 10 years ago
      
      +1 Rumsfeld
      1. Slammer 10 years ago
        
        The Fog of War Payne
3. straffinrun 10 years ago
  
  Sometimes the enemy of your enemy can at least amuse you for a while.
  1. soflarider 10 years ago
    
    Amen to that! The lefties are all worked up into a lather. So amusing.
Rebel Scum 10 years ago

I do recall more than a few glassy eyed Obama supporters claiming him to be the second coming of the Jesus,

Our lord and savior!

don't think I've heard any Cruz supporters claiming anything even remotely similar.

Me neither.
1. sarcasmic 10 years ago
  
  Just because they're not saying doesn't mean they aren't thinking it! Prove they're not thinking it! Prove it!
  1. UnCivilServant 10 years ago
    
    The Messiah is not going to emerge from Canukistan!
    1. invisible furry hand 10 years ago
      
      No, he will emerge from Mandy
      1. Restoras, CRW 10 years ago
        
        Nicole. Because it would be perfectly ironic.
        
        Swiss Servator... Switzy! 10 years ago
        
        The Best from the Worst.
    2. Rich 10 years ago
      
      Perhaps. However, ...
      
      Would perform miracles (Isaiah 35:5-6; Matthew 9:35)
      Would preach good news (Isaiah 61:1; Luke 4:14-21)
      Would cleanse the Temple (Malachi 3:1; Matthew 21:12-13)
      Would be rejected by Jews (Psalm 118:22; 1 Peter 2:7)
      
      Eh? EH?!
sarcasmic 10 years ago

I heard Cruz's response to the AGW nutters and I must say it was beautiful. The guy's got logic and reason on his side. Which of course means nothing since most people respond to emotion.
1. Rich 10 years ago
  
  How about this approach?
  
  "For the love of God, I'm begging you! Look inside your rational mind!"
  1. sarcasmic 10 years ago
    
    But, but, but... Science!
Almanian! 10 years ago

Leaving our lair in Youngstown, OH, headed for Richmond, VA. Then on to TN, NC and KY.

Almanian and Mrs. Almanian's Civil War Battlesite Tour - 2015!

We'll report in from the front.

Out.

PS Horrid, therefore perfect. Happy Fucking Friday, Reasonoids.
1. AlmightyJB 10 years ago
  
  That sounds awesome! Have a safe trip. Watch your speed in KY.
2. B.P. 10 years ago
  
  Going to Perryville in KY? Very well-preserved battlefield.
Mand13 10 years ago

I would support a Cruz presidency only so the left could experience what Obama was like for those that disagreed with him.
1. BeefJokey 10 years ago
  
  Thats probably some of the reason why Obama was elected (after 8 years of the Bush Administration)...
AlmightyJB 10 years ago

You not officially a messiah until you make Chris Matthews leg tingle.
1. soflarider 10 years ago
  
  It turned out that was just diabetic nerve pain.

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