A.M. Links: 2 Americans on Crashed Germanwings Flight, Ted Cruz Plans to Go on Obamacare, Federal Court Agrees to Expedited Appeal on Obama's Immigration Actions


  • Credit: Gage Skidmore / Foter.com / CC BY-SA

    Two Americans were among the 150 passengers and crew members on board the Germanwings airplane that crashed in the French Alps on Tuesday.

  • The United States will keep 9,800 troops stationed in Afghanistan this year, a change of course from the Obama administration's original plan to reduce the U.S. troop presence in that country to 5,000 by year's end.
  • The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit has agreed to hear an expedited appeal of the lower court ruling which blocked President Barack Obama's immigration actions.
  • Republican presidential hopeful Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is planning to buy health insurance for his family through a federal health care exchange established under Obamacare.
  • "Ron Dermer, the Israeli ambassador to the United States, is courting congressional Democrats after discord between the countries' leaders, but is still working against a nuclear deal with Iran."

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  1. Two Americans were among the 150 passengers and crew members on board the Germanwings airplane that crashed in the French Alps on Tuesday.

    Hypoxia. I’m calling it.

    1. Hello.



    3. I think it was the Greys!11!!elevnty!11oneoneone!!

      /smooths out foil homburg

      1. Pft! The greys are on our side. I think it was the Reptilians.

        *checks implants are still functioning properly*

        1. Not us, too little of an explosion to be entertaining.

          1. Of course, that’s exactly what you WOULD say!

            “Denial is policy”

            Agent Scully

    4. I make up to usd90 an hour working from my home. My story is that I quit working at Walmart to work online and with a little effort I easily bring in around $40h to usd86h Someone was good to me by sharing this link with me, so now i am hoping i could help someone else out there by sharing this link……… Try it, you won’t regret it!… http://www.jobs-check.com

      1. Regrets, I’ve had a few

    5. Not a bad guess. You’d think these jets would have at least three independent systems to measure and alert on O2 levels, though. What are the odds they all fail at the same time?

      1. If you’re unfamiliar, read up on the series of follies that lead to the crash of Helios Airways Flight 522. It’s fascinating.

        1. Fascinating indeed. So as usual it will be human error all the way down. No matter how hard engineers try to keep users from screwing up, users always find a way.

          1. Not sure how accurate it is, but I recall reading somewhere that the Airbus is problematic because it’s so automated that it is very difficult for the pilots to quickly take full manual control when something actually goes wrong.

            1. Yesterdsy I heard the same thing about this plane.

              1. Yesterday as well….

              2. Yesterday as well….

    6. Yeah, sounds like that, or something similar. Given the three recent crashes I’m wondering if someone isn’t doing this deliberately.

    7. Doesn’t sound like hypoxia to me. The aircraft would mostly likely have been flying on automatics (flight management system and autopilot) at this point in the flight. If the crew had been taken out by hypoxia, the aircraft would have continued to fly the flight plan until the aircraft reached the destination.

      The aircraft lost 27,000 feet of elevation in 8 minutes. So there must have been an engine failure of some sort.

      1. Have they been able to do enough of an investigation to rule out foul play of some kind?

        Usually, there’s people taking credit for shit like this, so it seems unlikely.

        But I’m surprised that the possibility isn’t even really discussed.

    8. Given the (reported) controlled sharp descent it’s not unreasonable to speculate that there was a sudden loss of cabin air pressure, and the pilot(s) attempted to get below 10,000 feet into breathable air, and something went terribly wrong.

    9. Wait, you are claiming an old pr0n star Hypoxia Lee caused this crash somehow?

      What is the theory, that the term “cockpit” triggered her or something?

      1. go on…

  2. The United States will keep 9,800 troops stationed in Afghanistan this year, a change of course from the Obama administration’s original plan…

    He’s pivoting to save those military jobs.

    1. Another one of those non-existent lies I supposed

      1. That one doesn’t count, because RethugliKKKans.

      2. 9800 men being asked to be the last one to die for a mistake?

        /Secretariat of state

        1. Nope, just 9800 brave souls taking up the (half)white mans burden

    2. I hope the GOP gets the White House in 2016. I’m so goddam sick of the repugnantcans wanting it both ways on Obama defense “policies”. They scream when he acts, and they scream when he doesn’t.

      1. Then we will get to listen to the same thing from the Democrats. And the media. But I repeat myself.

  3. So. It goes like this. I gave CSI: Cyber (yeah, yeah insert David Caruso jokes here. I deserve it) a shot and decided it’s not for me. In fact, the last episode pissed me off enough for me to not view it to its conclusion. There was a scene where the rapper and Dawson’s Creek guy were questioning some company (let’s call them Uber) and responded to the usual overly-witty snarks whenever they heard an answer they didn’t like. ‘Pft. Oh. Privacy? Give me a break! We’re cops!’ That sort of thing. After they turned and walked away, Dawson’s Creek guy says to the rapper, ‘That’s why I take a Taxi’ – as if cops are informed about free-market enterprises.

    I wondered what exactly the writers/producers of the show were trying to convey. It was harmless enough – it’s a show! – but in the context of what’s going on out there, I doubt this wasn’t done on purpose; my Spidey conspiratorial senses tell me they were giving a shout out to Taxis!

    1. That’s why I take a Taxi

      Because they know who’s beak to wet to get a medallion monopoly?

      1. Whose got the EDIT BUTTON

        1. Too late. You said who’s. Comment=invalidated.

          1. Maybe he was referring to the subject of the previous sentence, in which case ‘whose’ would be entirely appropriate. It’s science.

          2. I’m technically incorrect. The… worst kind of incorrect?

    2. Apparently, they’re doing a gamergate episode that might be even more Reefer Madness than the Law & Order SVU one. I’m hoping.

      1. They should just rerun Mazes and Monsters.

        1. +1 “There’s Blood On My Knife!!!!!”

    3. “There was a scene where the rapper and Dawson’s Creek guy were questioning some company (let’s call them Uber) and responded to the usual overly-witty snarks whenever they heard an answer they didn’t like. ‘Pft. Oh. Privacy? Give me a break! We’re cops!’ That sort of thing. ”

      That’s not the worst part of that episode. There’s a scene where they actually say ‘Uber exists to make it cool to get in cars with strangers. You don’t know these people. At least taxis are regulated. Every time you get in an Uber car you’re playing Russian roulette.’

  4. Why There’s A Big Battle Brewing Over The Lean Meat In Your Diet

    At a hearing Tuesday at the National Institutes of Health, meat industry scientists went head to head with public health advocates to parse the legitimacy of the footnote, and its implications for how much meat ? and what kind of meat ? Americans should be eating. (They’ll also be debating where sustainability fits into the equation, which, as we’ve reported, is another recommendation from the report.)

    Here’s the line in the note that has the North American Meat Institute particularly upset: “Lean meats can be a part of a healthy dietary pattern.”

    The industry is emphatic that this statement is true, and it won a 30-day extension to the public comment period on the report to make its case. The problem, its spokespeople tell The Salt, is that this line was in a footnote, as opposed to the main text. And what was in the main text, instead, was this line: “a healthy dietary pattern is … lower in red and processed meat.”

    1. Considering there is no evidence that red meat is bad for you, you should eat red meat.

      1. Considering that the government is discouraging red meat, it’s probably good for you and tastes really good.

    2. It’s none of the government’s fucking business to tell us what to eat.

      1. Hey, the carb-heavy Food Pyramid worked out so well….

    3. meat industry scientists

      Nice band name.

      1. No goddammit! Everybody around here latches onto a phrase and says, “Nice band name.” But this is not a nice band name. It is a good album title.

        Please people, before we go “nice band name” take a second and think about the phrase. Maybe 1 in 100 is a good band name. The rest are good album names.

        I’m going for a jog.

        1. going for a jog

          Good album title.

          1. I loathe you.

          2. Good album title

            Or euphemism for masturbation?

            1. Which are usually good album titles.

          3. Get in the way
            Of miles of traffic
            Racing past you
            Crashing with each other

          4. That’s more of a song title.

            Goin’ for a Jog

        2. Meat Industry is an OK band name. Same for Scientists. Meat Industry Scientists is just too busy to be a good band name.

          1. What about Meat Puppets?

            1. Fun fact: i smoked crack with the Kirkwood brothers back in ’95.

          2. There’s a label named Cold Meat Industry that features industrial and neofolk groups.

          3. Meat Industry Scientists is just too busy to be a good band name.

            So is Meat Beat Manifesto.

        3. I don’t disagree with you on your main point. But I do disagree in this particular instance.

        4. “Maybe 1 in 100”

          Nice band name.

        1. “1st album Lean Red Meat”

          Possible songs for the Meat Industry Scientists’ (MIS): 1st album

          MIS-Understood and MIS-Treated
          I’m a Meat Industry Scientist (Relax Man)
          Northbound Bovine
          Round and Around
          The Streets of Pamplona
          Sirloin Bloody Sirloin
          Misanthrope Chuck and the Secret Ingredient
          Taste Test
          Moon Leaper

          1. No “Meat Missile”?

            1. Ahem… I hadn’t herd that one.

            2. Ahem… I hadn’t herd that one.

    4. “a healthy dietary pattern is … lower in red and processed meat.”

      It’s like they think that steak and bologna are the same thing.


        1. Bologna: the other gray meat?

        2. Does it have a first name?

          1. It’s H-E-B-R-E-W

            1. Hebrew National Hot Dogs – delicious.

    5. Time out. This sentence: “Lean meats can be a part of a healthy dietary pattern.”

      Doesn’t contradict this one: “a healthy dietary pattern is … lower in red and processed meat.”

      Lean meat can be part of a healthy diet while also being something you should eat sparingly. Cake can be a part of a healthy diet, you just probably shouldn’t have it every meal.

  5. The U.S. Court of Appeals for the 5th Circuit has agreed to hear an expedited appeal…

    Can’t leave Obama hanging on whether he’s all powerful or not.

        1. Or yesterday’s, whatever.

        2. If we can’t have an edit button, can we at least get preemption of superfluous comments?

          1. We could self-edit by asking ourselves three questions:

            Does this need to be said?

            Does this need to be said by me?

            Does this need to be said by me now?


      1. ‘You were right Nurse. Maybe we should have held off on that lobotomy. Meh.’

      2. Whoever mentioned the Rosenhan Study yesterday, thanks for the wonderful reading suggestion. Very interesting.

  6. According to a new report, federal workers owe more than $3.5 billion in unpaid taxes

    Apparently there is just no way to garnish their pay or anything!

    1. Tax compliance at the IRS is generally better than at other federal agencies in part because the IRS cannot share information about tax delinquents with other departments.

      *** facepalm ***

      1. “Oh well, I guess they get away with it”


      2. I was under the impression that garnished wages turned up on credit checks

    2. And that’s just Obama’s cabinet.

        1. Speaking of Turbo Tax….

          Every year at this time I ask myself, “why do we need a middleman like Turbo Tax? Why doesn’t the IRS have it’s own website where I can answer the same questions as TT does? This is the 21st century, isn’t it?”

          (I’m not advocating for it — I’m just puzzled as to why it’s not done this way)

          1. The Turbo Tax Lobby is powerful, and big CPA has lots of political pull.

          2. ” IRS have it’s own website ”

            See Obamacare. Subtract billions in Dev costs.

            You WANT that?

          3. Because if TT gives you bad advice, there’s a mechanism for dealing with that.

            If the IRS gives you bad advice – you go to jail. And nothing else happens.

    3. Federal law used to (as late as the 90’s or 00’s) forbid the states from garnishing federal salaries for unpaid state taxes.

  7. ?Scientists Want to Mine Our Poop for Gold

    Every year, Americans are flushing a fortune down the toilet. Literally. More than 7 million tons of biosolids?treated sewage sludge?pass through US wastewater facilities annually. Contained within our shit are surprisingly large quantities of silver, gold, and platinum.

    But our days of wasting human waste may be numbered, if Kathleen Smith of the US Geological Survey has anything to say about it. She’s leading a new research program that’s examining the feasibility of extracting precious metals from sewage. As Smith will explain Tuesday at a press conference at the annual meeting of the American Chemical Society, recovering metals from waste could reduce the need for environmentally-destructive mining programs, and make biosolids a safer source of fertilizer to boot.

    1. And the pressure’s on to produce diamonds.

      1. Cue Switzy…

        1. Ummm…Switzy, can I get a narrow gaze over here?

          1. He’s off somewhere researching the latest asterisk technology, to better narrow his gazes.

          2. *narrows gaze*

            Plus, “pressure compacts trash”

    2. There’s some place a few miles from house that will pay for your poop so they can use it for poop transplants…

    3. IIRC Indian jewelry manufacturers capture all of the shit from their workers and process it to extract the gold. There are 2 reasons for this:

      1. There’s so much gold dust around that you can’t help but ingest it
      2. It prevents anyone from swallowing gold and taking it home.

      1. So they can’t go to the bathroom at home?

        1. They live on site

    4. Why would crap be full of precious metals?

      1. Goldschlager!

          1. Bless you.

          2. The ultimate Bond villain?

    5. First they came for our shit; next they’ll come for our teeth.

      1. Know who else liked to keep teeth for gold?

        1. Me? I’ve got a small fortune of gold in my mouth.

          1. Huh. Come over here for a minute…

        2. Monsieur Thenardier?

          “Add it to the pile, add it to the stock
          here among the sewer rats, a breath away from hell.”

    6. Certain Indian (as in from India) desserts are decorated with gold foil. Those have an interesting taste and mouth feel.

      1. So you’re saying there’s gold in _your_ poop?! Mine it!

        1. Not recently. Ex BiL was Indian (from India).

  8. Maybe the Israeli ambassador should sweeten the pot with some alt-text.

  9. “Ron Dermer, the Israeli ambassador to the United States, is courting congressional Democrats after discord between the countries’ leaders, but is still working against a nuclear deal with Iran.”

    You know who else was immune to the charms of the Jews?

    1. Indiana Jones?

    2. Eric Cartman?

    3. Jerry Seinfeld’s dentist?

    4. Jesus?

      and I mean the gardener who does such good work with the roses.

    5. Sheldon Richman?

    6. Mel Gibson?

    7. Pontius Pilate?

      1. Debatable – he found the Sanhedrin quite persuasive.

        1. Nah, he gave them what they wanted just so they’d leave him the hell alone.

  10. Norway man glued own beard to victim’s scalp

    A man in Norway faces jail after cutting off his own hair and beard and then gluing it to another man’s head in an apparent attempt to create a toup?e.

    According to prosecutor Harald Bilberg, the man, who is in his 40s, is claiming that the recipient of the home-made hairpiece had consented to the treatment.

    “He was bald, so the accused claims that they had agreed to create a toup?e for the aggrieved party,” Bilberg told the Bergens Tidende newspaper. “I must admit that I have never encountered such a case in my career.”

    1. I thought such things can’t happen in happy-go-luck Norway.

      Because, you know, welfare and civilization. People literally swim in oil I hear.

      1. The recent crash in oil prices can’t be good for them though.

        1. Well I heard Norway generates most of their wealth from high taxes that get filtered through the government “multipliers” and distributed to the people. It’s like economic cold fusion.

          1. 1. High taxes
            2. ?
            3. Profit!

          2. Those people are full of shit. That is what that are told, but anyone who looks at the math for even a second understands that it comes from oil.

            1. You need not look at a single number to know it’s magical thinking. Just look at the broken logic inherent in a belief that stealing wealth will actually produce wealth.

            2. “Those people are full of shit.”

              Which Norway then mines for gold?

    2. Coulda been *other* hair

      1. Eww! /teenage girl.

        1. Someone needs to brush up on their innovative 1980s video moments.

          1. Proof of why music videos are evil. In no sane and fair world, would anyone ever have heard of a-ha.

            1. *narrows gaze*

              I have fond memories of German radio announcers and call-in listeners debating the finer nuances and relative merit of various songs on that first album.

      1. Considering their farewell concert was in 2010, it hasn’t been much of a hiatus.

        I’m actually huge a-ha fan – they’ve been making music off an on since the 80s. This song is from 2000:

    3. Uffda!

    1. Elections have consequences, muthafuckah.

    2. How long until we see the headline about Doug Schoen being investigated by the Justice Department?

  11. Commie Concordia University students demanding free shit are at it again.

    They somehow think disrupting classes and depriving students of their own education is ‘justice’. I call it theft to the extent they’re stealing other people’s education.


    1. ?blockquoteOrganizers want the province to undo spending cuts and put a moratorium on all fossil fuel development.

      Magically legislated free lunches without that pesky industry involved. Who knew having your cake and eating it too was so easy?

      1. Logic is their weak suit.

        I’m embarrassed to have a degree from that once decent institution.

  12. Ford’s new car will force you to obey the speed limit


    1. *roots around tool box for wire cutters*

    2. Next: Ford will force you to OBEY.

    3. How is the State supposed to extract money from speeders if everyone obeys the speed limit?

      1. They will lower the speed limit without telling the auto manufacturers.

    4. A camera mounted on the windshield scans the road signs on the sides of the highway

      What could *possibly* go wrong?

      1. “Oooooh. It was highway 5. My bad.”

        1. I was on the 294 this morning. That could turn out to be fun.

        2. I-95 should be fun, though.

    5. It’s shit like this which makes me sure to keep my current car for another 900k miles.

      1. It’s why I’m considering buying a 15 year old car rather than a newer one.

        1. Yep. After the NSA killed that journalist by hacking his car I’m never buying a recent vintage car.

          1. When the fuck did THAT happen?!?!?

        2. I’ve got a 2010 Fusion, It’s the perfect mix of old and new. No touchscreens and no superfluous driver aids (aside from the sometimes-useful traction control), but still able to connect up to and operate your devices hands-free. I wish that interior setup wasn’t a blip in automotive history.

          1. I sat in some Hondas and Toyotas at the dealerships a couple weeks ago. I must be getting old. The interiors seemed so busy with screens and fake chrome and swooping designs, I’m afraid I’d be running into trees.

            Not that anyone cares, but I recently discovered that you can get use BMWs and Mercedes (both V12s) for about 10% of the original stickers. Maintenance costs would be astronomic, but owning a v12 is on my bucket list). I could live with it for a few years.

    6. Ford’s new car will force you to obey the speed limit

      Eh, i’ll believe it when i see it. My mind still wandered when I drove that Ford Focus.

      1. I had a Focus. Hated that car.

    7. That will work out great when you’re trying to drive on a highway full of other cars going 15 to 20 over the speed limit.

      1. I’ve always believed that robots will make terrible drivers. This is only reinforcing that belief.

        It should be noted that this is being put forth in Europe first. This makes sense; highway speed limits in Europe are sensible (or so I’ve heard) and Europeans are more likely to adhere to them.

        1. My understanding is that European traffic laws are designed with safety in mind, as opposed to American traffic laws which are designed as a source of revenue.

        2. When I lived in Slovakia I was told about 3 speed limit tiers. Within the city, between cities, and highways. Apparently, there is a fourth residential areas, which I didn’t encounter since I lived in a rural area.

          The general speed limit for motorways in EU Member States is mostly 120 or 130 km/h. Germany does not have a general speed limit for motorways, but a recommended speed of 130 km/h. The general speed limit for rural roads in EU Member States is mostly 80 or 90 km/h and for urban roads 50 km/h.
          In most countries speed limits that differ from these general limits are applied. Widespread and well known are the 30 km/h zones in residential areas.

          1. Hmm link didn’t work

          2. Way back in the early 90’s I was in Spain for a short while and rented a car.

            Took me a bit to realize that the reason the Spaniards were zooming past me at warp speed was that there was no speed limit between the cities.

            1. I was exchange student in Germany in 1985. On the first day, the “dad” drove the whole family and me about 50 mi from the airport to our house averaging around 110 mph – I am quite certain he did this to scare the shit out of me, and it worked.

      2. You are a placid rock in an otherwise turbulent river. Also, everyone hates you.

    8. I am okay with this feature. If you were buying a car for a teenager, I could see wanting the car to have this feature. My fear is that government will quickly demand that it be required on all new cars.

      1. Really? You doubt for even one second that it wouldn’t become required on every car? Why even give them the opening to do such a thing?

        1. I agree. And I have no doubt the usual group of fascists are slobbering all over themselves at the thought of this feature becoming mandatory. Hell, I bet even Ron Bailey has a spring in his step this morning over this new gift from the top men in lab coats.

          For that reason, I can totally see not buying it even if you had a reason to want it. I am just saying if I had a teenager, I could see wanting that feature on any car I gave them.

          1. Fair point.

    9. Many years ago, when a lot of international broadcasters were still on shortwave, Radio Vlaanderen Internationaal had a weekly feature on the “environment” that was more or less a weekly anti-car screed. One particular edition advocated for automatic governors in cars and transponders what would prevent the cars from going faster than the speed limit.

      I wrote in to suggest that I was looking forward to hackers getting in to the system and making all the cars going to the North Sea vacation spots go at stalling speeds, and forcing cars to do 150 km/h through school zones..

    10. I’ve been wondering why this hasn’t been in place before… or an even simpler “fix” is to make the max 75mph for non-emergency vehicles.

      /not that I’m espousing such an idea but the nanny-staters would love it.

    11. Two words:



      Both the Dean vehicles have aftermarket ECUs. Not cheap, but worth it.

      The automakers detune their engines, especially for the American market, to meet MPG and emissions controls. If you rechip, you get better performance (for values of performance I care about, at least).

  13. Jeremy Clarkson ‘to be sacked TODAY’ after BBC probe finds he launched ’30-second attack’ on Top Gear producer during steak dinner ‘fracas’

    Guess I’ll be removing a series recording from my DVR.

    1. ITV laughs. And prepares contract.

      1. Indeed. Top Gear will be less interesting without Jeremy Clarkson.

        1. And with that bombshell…

        2. The Guardian’s eco-feminist version will clearly be superior. /nobody

    2. Clarkson was bound to go too far at some point, and it looks like the BBC called him on it. I guess assault was the line in the sand. Seems fair to me but what a waste. The show will never be the same without Clarkson and I imagine Hammond and May will follow him out the door. Maybe some other network will offer those three another chance, but I wonder what network has the money to fund such an expensive show and is willing to risk dealing w/ Clarkson’s, uh, “mannerisms” on a daily basis.

      1. I read somewhere that Hammond and May said they will not continue without him. So yeah, the show’s over.

        1. The show is the three of them. All three of their contracts ended this year. All three are free to sign with any other network they wish. It is one of the most popular and money making shows in the world. I have no doubt their agents’ phones are ringing off the hook this morning with offers to start a new show.

          I would be shocked if the three of t hem didn’t take their act to Sky or Netflix or whoever is the highest bidder and just recreated Top Gear under another name. I think it likely will end up being a good thing. They will make a new show that will be just like Top Gear only without the creative restraints imposed by the BBC. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me if Clarkson punched the guy specifically so this would happen and the three would have an excuse to take more money and have more freedom on another network without it looking like they were just being greedy.

          1. We can only hope they all get back together and continue the shenanigans.

            1. Considering the amount of money that is going to be thrown at them, I can’t believe they won’t. That show produces something like $250 million in revenue every year. Even if they lost 25% of that due to the loss of the “Top Gear” name, which I doubt they would, that is still nearly $200 million a year. The BBC was only paying them each a few million pounds a year to do the show. I imagine the offers are going to be in the tens of millions for them to put on another show. Why wouldn’t they? What else do they have to do?

          2. The only thing is, John, I think the BBC actually allowed quite a bit of latitude in the “creative” department. Whenever I watched the show on BBCA, I was always struck by how clear it was that much of the shit they say and allude to would be disallowed anywhere but cable/satellite, and even then, probably late-night edgier channels like FX or FXX.

            1. That is no problem. There will be plenty of cable and satellite networks lining up to throw money at them. And I can’t see them signing anywhere that would give them less creative freedom.

              1. That’s why I’m optimistic about Sky. Say what you will about the Sky/Fox media empire, but it’s always been edgier in the States than the boring, established players.

                When Fox showed up in the mid-80s, it really shook up the landscape. I was pretty young then, but just seeing the amount of outrage and bewilderment it generated in older folk made it seem pretty important.

                1. Murdoch is all about the cash. He will run anything if it makes money, which Top Gear does.

                  1. Yeah, but then again, it was never a guarantee that, say, “The Simpsons” would be as wildly successful as they became. “Arrested Development” and “Futurama” were never huge moneymakers and died early deaths. None of them would have shown up were it not for Fox.

                    1. True Tim. Murdoch is willing to take more chances because the upside of being edgy is greater than being conventional. Murdoch is more of an entrepreneur and risk taker than the other major networks.

          3. So as long as you have a hit show, it’s okay to go around violently attacking people?

            1. Ask the NFL.

      2. Rupert Murdoch and Sky TV are licking their chops.

        1. If Sky does grab the three and thus the show, you can bet Fox will air it here.

      3. Hammond and May both had contract renewals coming up at the same time as Clarkson – shortly after a “live tour” of the show in the spring.

        I have a feeling they’re all going to be gone and the show will end. The BBC will now hemorrhage money faster.

        Maybe May can finagle something. Despite how much fun everyone makes of him (on the show, at least), he might be the most interesting presenter due to his breadth of interests and knowledge of all manner of mechanical things.

        1. I agree. May’s spinoff shows were quite good.

        2. May has always been my favorite of the three. He gets so much shit from the other two and gives it back in turn. And you’re right, he is very knowledgeable about a variety of things. And while the travel and hours may have been stressful, that job had to be just about the greatest fucking thing ever for those guys. I know I would have enjoyed the hell out of it.

          1. I would gladly age myself the 15 years+ required if I could just do their jobs.

          2. I like May too. He is the best of the three on his own. His Man Lab and Toy Stories shows are great. Hammond and Clarkson are not nearly as good on their own. May is kind of the George Harrison to Hammond and Clarkson’s Mcartney and Lennon.

            1. I thought the Man Lab show was great.

              1. Watch the Toy Story show sometime if you haven’t. He takes old school toys like model trains and airplanes and does giant adult sized versions of them. He runs a model train over a five mile abandoned rail route. He runs a slot car track over the old race course at Brooklands. It is very funny and very creative.

                1. Loved that series. Man Lab, too.

                  I am not interested in cars so I don’t normally watch Top Gear but I did catch one where they were bicycling around Vietnam (?) and it was good.

            2. Does that mean The Stig is Ringo?

        3. The BBC can’t hemmorhage money. They’ve got the license fee.

          1. I don’t think the license fee covers anywhere close to everything they do. Top Gear seems to be the main subsidizing agent.

            That and it seems a non-trivial number of people are committed to not paying the license fee now.

            1. That’s what the men with guns are for.

              Its not like the Brits can shoot back.

    3. God damn it!

    4. So far, all we’ve got is the BBC justifying and doubling down on its extremely unpopular decision to PCify Top Gear.

      The verbal abuse? Whatev.

      A punch in the mouth? Let me hear another side of this story before I accept the BBC’s self-serving version.

  14. The 12,400 mile superhighway from Britain to America: Plans proposed for VERY ambitious road across Russia
    Trans-Eurasian Belt Development would span half globe’s circumference
    Would link western edge of Russia to the Bering Strait and then Alaska
    Joining road networks in Europe and Asia, would link UK to United States
    Russian Academy of Science put forward plan to President Vladimir Putin
    Current longest road in the world is Australian Highway 1 at 9,000 miles


    1. Why stop there, how about an underwater high speed rail?

    2. The map seems to show it ending in Nome, which doesn’t have a road connection to the rest of North America. So I’m not sure how much good that would do anybody. Though I guess it might inspire Alaska or the Feds to connect Nome to Fairbanks.

      1. But, but, they had that road finished in Northern Exposure…

      2. The map seems to show it ending in Nome, which doesn’t have a road connection to the rest of North America.

        Not even ending in Nome. Nome is south of the road on the coast of Norton Sound.

        1. There’s no place like Nome.

        2. The road to nowhere.

    3. I want an underwater superhighway from the US to the UK.

      1. Wouldn’t a, um, train, be a better idea?

    4. Why the fuck would anyone want to drive across Siberia?

      1. Too establish a libertarian colony far from North America and Western Europe?


      2. Could you imagine how many trolls on and under the bridges there would be along the way?

      3. Tanks move better on roads.

      4. Because they wouldn’t want to stop?

    5. I’d have to change the oil twice on a round trip.

      It would take 20 days of 10 hr driving at about an average of 60 MPH. No telling how much fuel would cost.

  15. This is good to know:

    Ejaculating On Your Colleagues’ Food Is Not A Sex Crime In Minnesota

    A judge found that John Robert Lind’s creepy behavior didn’t qualify as criminal sexual conduct — even though his victim drank the tainted coffee. Minnesota law doesn’t cover indirect bodily fluid contact.

    In other words, Lind’s nondairy creamer doesn’t qualify as criminal sexual conduct because he didn’t ejaculate directly onto his victim. According to the District Court Judge Patrick Diamond’s ruling, “[The charge in part] defines sexual contact as ‘the intentional touching with seminal fluid or sperm by the actor of the complainant’s body or the clothing covering complainant’s body.'”

    1. I’m pretty sure the mouth is part of the complainant’s body.

    2. Lind’s nondairy creamer

      I’m silently dying laughing at my desk.

    3. “Cream in your coffee?”

      “Not lately.”

    4. Does the law cover the ass-kicking that would occur afterwards?

    5. Who will volunteer to be Al Franken’s coffee server?

      1. As Mick Jagger once said, “I just don’t have that much jam.”

  16. Putin’s ?3.5billion race to make it to space: First pictures inside huge Siberian cosmodrome from where Russia hopes to beat the US to Mars
    Putin’s pet project set to rival Cape Canaveral in fame – and help Russia win the 21st century space race
    Built across 342 square miles, the cosmodrome will have 17 launch pads and a new ‘satellite city’ for 25,000 people
    Russian president has said he wants it to ‘confirm the high scientific and technological status’ of the country
    But building works are beset by problems – and the first unmanned launch, planned for December, looks in doubt
    Should it not be ready in time, it will be a huge embarrassment for Putin and his ?3.4billion investment in the project


    1. Why can’t he just have the 25,000 people carve a giant likeness of his into one of the Urals, like a right and proper megalomaniac dictator would?

      1. Why do you hate Mt Rushmore?

    2. Man, this dude has a hardon for the Cold War.

    3. Putin seems determined to bankrupt Russia.

    4. Remote, fully-developed industrial cities in previously uninhabited places. Sounds like something the…what’s the name of that regime from the 20th century that liked the color red?

    5. Absent new propulsion technology which would allow for a quicker journey I don’t see this ever being anything more than a PR activity. Lunar colonization is much more practical. I suspect the Chinese have that as their goal since it’s fairly easily achievable and will give them a “first.”

  17. US House votes to provide lethal aid to Ukraine

    The United States House of Representatives voted overwhelmingly late Monday to approve a resolution urging President Barack Obama to deliver lethal weapons to Ukraine to fight pro-Russian separatists.

    The measure urges Obama to provide Ukraine with “lethal defensive weapon systems” that would better enable Ukraine to defend its territory from “the unprovoked and continuing aggression of the Russian Federation.”

    The resolution passed with broad bipartisan support by a count of 348 to 48.

    1. Why is Russian incursions into Ukraine of any concern to the US at all?

      1. This is insane. It’s reason #478 why it meaningless which of the 2 major parties gets the White House in 2016.

        1. Crimea, Ukraine, Poland, Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Bulgaria, Romania will fall like a series of dominoes! Amirite?

  18. For any Star Wars and old-time anime fans. This is a frikkin’ awesome fan film.


    1. Holy 90s flashback!

      That was a perfect blending of the TIE fighter games with anime.

      Only problem was that this scene didn’t seem to provide a sense something being at stake in a story sense. Just a battle scene. But a very good one.

    2. That’s incredible. The guy did it over (counts of fingers) 200 weekends?

      Mad props.

  19. Lack of orange juice leads Louisiana man to shoot son in buttocks

    The incident occurred early Sunday after the father and son began arguing about the lack of orange juice at their home, according to Baton Rouge police spokesman Corporal Don Coppola.

    He said the son damaged the home and broke a porcelain vase.

    Arming himself with a handgun, the father chased his son out the front door. He fired several shots, striking the teenager once in his buttocks, Coppola said.

    1. “A day without orange juice is like a day without not getting shot in the buttocks!”

    2. “Oh, yes sir. Bit me right in the buttocks. They said it was a million dollar wound, but the army must keep that money ’cause I still haven’t seen a nickel of that million dollars.”

  20. Neil deGrasse Tyson slams GOP climate deniers: ‘I thought as a nation we were above this’

    Popular astrophysicist and anointed spokesperson for science Neil deGrasse Tyson is not impressed by the recent antics of Republican leaders, from Sen. Ted Cruz’s directive that NASA stop focusing on Earth to Florida Gov. Rick Scott’s reported ban on the term “climate change.”

    “I don’t know if our country has any precedent for emergent scientific truths to be debated on political grounds,” he said during a live appearance in Sarasota, Florida, referring to the aforementioned censorship. “I’m astonished by that. Astonished and disappointed. I thought as a nation we were above this.”

    Tyson, who is the director of the Hayden Planetarium and, as a side gig, host of the hit series Cosmos, also stood up for NASA’s work studying climate change, which Cruz, as chairman of the Senate Commerce Subcommittee on Space, is actively discouraging.

    1. He was on ’60 Minutes.’

      This the guy who couldn’t calculate proper air pressure during Delfategate and real scientists and mathematicians had to point it out to him on Twitter.

      1. It’s not the error that bugs me so much, besides it being proof that maybe we shoudln’t be asking an astrophysicist for opinions on stuff that happens on Earth, or in any other branch of science. It’s his smug as fuck non-retraction.

      2. This the guy who couldn’t calculate proper air pressure

        That is literally a high school physics problem. I honestly can’t see how anyone who couldn’t do that could be called any kind of physicist. The fact that he couldn’t makes me wonder if he ever possessed any expertise at all beyond being minority and self promotion.

        1. To be fair, an astrophysicist wouldn’t be used to including ambient atmosphere in his calculations…

          Which is probably why we shouldn’t consider his opinion on things other than astrophysics, like he’s some sort of Hollywood movie style master-of-all-trades scientist.

          1. It is still a high school level problem. If it was a more advance problem in a field outside of his specialty, I would agree with you. It wasn’t however. This is like a lawyer fucking up and saying police don’t need probable cause to search your car. It is so basic no one in the field, no matter what their specialty should not know the answer.

            1. You’re allowed to mess up even a simple calculation. But the correct response to doing so is to be thoroughly embarrassed about it, retract your statement, and double or triple check your work before you put it out to millions of people.

          2. Anyone who’s been through a physics program or worked with physicists knows that there’s a big difference between the theoreticians and the experimentalists. Most theoreticians would kill themselves trying to wire a light fixture.

        2. He’s been a publicity junkie/administrator for some time. I doubt he does much math these days at all.

          1. Were listening to the wrong Tyson.

            “I’m gonna make sure you talk about me, and your grandkids and kids after that gonna know about me?your great grandkids will say “wow, wasn’t that a bizarre individual?”

    2. He was such a smarmy prick about the deflated footballs I can’t stand him at all anymore. “Oh, I made an incredibly basic and stupid error, doesn’t matter, I’m still right if you take just this one report as facts and ignore the rest. I’m not apologizing or admitting I was wrong!”

      Also, focusing on Earth is why NASA sucks. It’s been more than 30 years. Go and actually do something.

      1. I think NASA has a collective, unclean lust for the planet. Why else does it insist in sending men to LEO and no farther?

        1. You know the 5 year mission of NASA, right? “To Boldy Go, Where Dozens of Men Have Gone for Decades”.

          1. Actually, I think they tweaked it in the last revision to “Meekly”.

            1. I read something the other day proposing a manned tour of the solar system. No landings, just manned flybys. Deep space for the win.

    3. I don’t know if our country has any precedent for emergent scientific truths to be debated on political grounds,”

      That is the dumbest thing he has ever said. First, the moment science demands government action, it immediately becomes a political debate. Second, the entire last sixty years has been one long story of “science” becoming politics. More importantly, much of the science that has inspired political action has later proven to be false. Millions of people died of malaria thanks to the DDT ban that was based on Rachel Carson’s false claim that it killed raptors to give just one example. Basically, in Tyson’s view, using science as an excuse to enact socialism is just good science but debating the need to do that is just politicizing science.

      1. I should point out that Neil Degrasse Tyson,is doing the old progressive trick of accusing people of doing what he is doing; the gulf between what actual scientific research is saying and what the green movement claims it is saying keeps growing, and the guys saying that it doesn’t exist happen to be closer to the truth (my prediction – lukewarmism for temperate regions, earlier daily thunderstorms in tropical regions) than Obama’s catastrophism.

      2. Which I would argue is one of the biggest problems for the AGW crowd. Even if you a non-leftist who thinks there is some possibility of mild AGW (I know that does not describe you, John, but work with me for a minute), from the moment this stuff was floated it was accompanied by demands for massive government involvement usually involving downgrading economic productivity and/or global redistribution of wealth.

        If you actually believe there is natural disaster in the offing, why start off by alienating about 40% of the population when you offer solutions?

        1. I totally agree. And have often made that argument myself. Even though I think it is bullshit, I can’t be absolutely certain it is not. It might be true. Even if it is true, however, the question is still moot since no one has yet developed any practical way to solve the problem. They might as well be telling me I should go to church every day because a giant asteroid is going to hit the earth in ten years. Going to church may be nice if you like that kind of thing, it, however, does nothing to stop the asteroid.

        2. why start off by alienating about 40% of the population when you offer solutions?

          Because they’re the 1%, and shouldn’t be allowed to have a say!

          /Tony SCIENCE

        3. why start off by alienating about 40% of the population when you offer solutions?

          Because they’re the 1% and shouldn’t have a say in what everyone wants!

          /Tony SCIENCE!

      3. No, he’s right. Scientists should stay the fuck out of politics, especially on emerging science that is unconfirmed or at least incomplete.

        1. That is not what he is saying. He is doing what Tarran describes above; pretending its not playing politics when his side does it.

          1. That’s exactly my reaction. The Republicans are playing politics on this? I doubt they’d feel the need to if the left hadn’t been politicizing the science for decades now. I get politicians and others doing that, as reprehensible as it is, but it’s truly pathetic when scientists do it.

            What a popularizer of science should be doing is demonstrating skepticism and requiring evidence consistent with theories. He could do that and still favor the AGW interpretation, but this kind of statement is essentially shouting down the opposition. Not science.

          2. Sorry, left the sarc tag off.

            1. I got your sarcasm, for the record.

        2. Scientists should stay the fuck out of politics

          I suspect you’d like it if I did exactly the opposite of what you’re suggesting.

          1. Jump on Brett day, huh? I’ll clarify. Unless called upon as an expert witness in their field of study, scientists should not apeal to their own authority when making political arguments. In fact, the AIChE ethics statement makes specific reference to this. Although it says public statements in general IIRC.

            1. AIChE

              Them’s engineers, not scientists. JUMP!

    4. Why does anyone listen to the guy that runs the planetarium? Isn’t that the booby prize of science?

  21. Obama Snubs Nato Chief as Crisis Rages

    President Barack Obama has yet to meet with the new head of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, and won’t see Secretary General Jens Stoltenberg this week, even though he is in Washington for three days. Stoltenberg’s office requested a meeting with Obama well in advance of the visit, but never heard anything from the White House, two sources close to the NATO chief told me.

    The leaders of almost all the other 28 NATO member countries have made time for Stoltenberg since he took over the world’s largest military alliance in October. Stoltenberg, twice the prime minister of Norway, met Monday with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper in Ottawa to discuss the threat of the Islamic State and the crisis in Ukraine, two issues near the top of Obama’s agenda.

      1. 7 Dimensional Chess!!!!!

        1. Playing chess with Obama:

          What does the horsey thingy do again?

          If there’s a King and Queen, where’s the Jack?

          I think the Bishop should be allowed to cut its diagonal trajectory left or right.

          Chess is unfair to the Pawns. I will invent a game where the pawn operates in a more equitable environment.

    1. What a relief it’s going to be when this guy is out and normalcy is finally restored to international relations.

      1. Indeed, when a *former Secretary of State* is leading!

        1. I read her lead on Warren WIDENED.

          That and the fact she was told to ‘get ahead’ of her email debacle by using humor is going to be effective.

          ‘And what’s the deal with private emails! I was hacked! The last time that happened I got pregnant!’

          /roaring laughs from the crowd.

          1. Perhaps she’ll give another speech on transparency and refuse to take questions afterward.

      2. You mean back to “you’re either with us or against us”?

        1. No, I mean our allies get treated like our allies and our enemies get treated like our enemies, instead of the other way around.

    2. But BO will definitely not miss a meeting with his fucking cronys, no sir. Asshole.

    3. Good thing we gave up that “cowboy diplomacy” of the Bush administration, and now have a man of the world like Barack Obama, he would never do something as stupid as give a British PM a hand full of shitty DVDs that aren’t even formatted properly to play in British DVD players, or give a Russian diplomat a mistranslated “reset” button…

      1. My favorite Obama diplomacy move was to pack up and ship back the bust of Winston Churchill that was gifted to the US. For no apparent reason other than to snub the British.

        As for those DVDs it’s especially funny that those improperly formatted DVDs came out of the Whitehouse gift shop and were a reciprocal gift after Obama was given a pen holder carved from the wood of a notorious slaving ship. It’s a blunder on several levels.

    4. My, he is the petulant one, isn’t he?

    5. Stoltenberg should request a hasty meeting to speak before Congress.

  22. Kevin Williamson: Of Course Ted Cruz Could Win

    Will he be the nominee? Good Lord, who knows or cares at this point? It’s a question mainly of interest to Ted Cruz and his rivals, and maybe to their sainted mothers. That we are so fascinated by the possibility is further evidence of the corrosive cult of the presidency ? we conservatives should know better than to wait for the anointing of a savior.

    Besides, the mighty Cthulhu (“Why Settle for the Lesser Evil?”) or the Sweet Meteor O’ Death may very well have changed the equation by then. It’s a long ways away.

    The great irony of the moment is that the people writing Cruz off this week are sneering at his lack of political sophistication and congratulating themselves on their own. Ask Senator David Dewhurst how well that worked out for him.

  23. Black girls’ sexual burden: Why Mo’ne Davis was really called a “slut”

    Her level of empathy is remarkable but not particularly surprising. Black girls learn almost from the womb to empathize with others, even when those others have committed deep injustices toward us. Perhaps it is the unparalleled level of our suffering that makes us always look with empathy upon others.

    But I am troubled. It is absolutely wonderful that Davis has this kind of care and concern and a heart so huge that she can forgive a nearly adult person for insulting her. It goes without saying that she’s a better person than Casselberry.

    But she should not have to be. For starters, he meant what he said. One doesn’t slip up and mistakenly call a young teen girl a slut. Second, it bothers me that she sounds almost apologetic about how much others have to see her on television. Girls in our culture are taught that they should never take up too much space, that they should be seen (and look real pretty), but not heard. And Black girls in our culture are damn near invisible, whether in regards to their triumphs or their struggles.

    1. Black girls learn almost from the womb to empathize with others, even when those others have committed deep injustices toward us.

      Citation needed.

      1. Black girls learn almost from the womb to empathize with others, even when those others have committed deep injustices toward us.

        MMMMMM hmmmmmmm hmmmmmmmm! Oh no she ditt-ennnnt! *bobs head, wags finger*

    2. Girls in our culture are taught that they should never take up too much space, that they should be seen (and look real pretty), but not heard.

      No. Not since about 1955. ‘Our’ culture has been teaching them the exact opposite for decades.

    3. Davis suffers again under the burden of having The Shame of Rutgers defend her.

    4. “Girls in our culture are taught that they should never take up too much space, that they should be seen (and look real pretty), but not heard. Black girls in our culture are damn near invisible, whether in regards to their triumphs or their struggles”

      Oprah would agree

  24. Report: Va. governor received special treatment from Homeland Security

    The report is likely to stir up renewed scrutiny of the department’s management of the EB-5 visa program, which allows foreign nationals who create jobs in the United States to obtain green cards. And it is likely to rekindle examination of McAuliffe and GreenTech, which at the time of Mayorkas’s actions was under investigation by the Securities and Exchange Commission over its conduct in soliciting foreign investors.

    Initially popular with lawmakers from both parties, the visa program has prompted accusations from detractors that it puts visas up for sale ? and doesn’t provide sufficient oversight to ensure that the promised jobs materialize.

    Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson expressed full confidence in Mayorkas following the report’s release Tuesday afternoon. But in his statement, Johnson called for a new internal “protocol” for future decision-making in the visa program.

    1. I will go on the record and say that McAuliffe will be in court and/or prison within 10 years of leaving the governor’s mansion in Richmond. McAuliffe has always been a smarmy bastard and one of his former schemes will catch up with him eventually.

    1. “His name is Fister Roboto”

      1. “And best of all, he’s LEARNING!”

    2. Drawing a blank, but I recall a mission in FONV that involved reprogramming a robot to be a sexbot.

      Pretty good dialogue.

  25. Florist flouts FLOTUS.
    Flees in Fear!


  26. Premera Blue Cross Says Data on 11 Million Exposed by Hackers

    “We at Premera take this issue seriously …,” Chief Executive Officer Jeff Roe, said

    No, Jeff, you do not.

  27. Republican presidential hopeful Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) is planning to buy health insurance for his family through a federal health care exchange established under Obamacare.

    We’ve sunk to a new low in this country when national journalists think that a presidential candidate following the law is some kind of gotcha.

    1. I wonder who his favorite Treasury Secretary is…

      1. I bet he doesn’t even know the name of the new premiere of Kazakhstan.

        1. Pretty sure it’s Borat.

  28. http://nypost.com/2015/03/24/c…..ver-video/

    Cornell Dean of Students says ISIS is welcome on campus. They can even set up training camps if they like. James O’Keefe is a national treasure.

    Serious question, considering that we know for a fact that someone like Mark Steyn would not be welcome to even speak on campus because he has committed the crime of noticing Islamic extremism and at least according to this guy ISIS would be, how exactly are these people not on the other side?

    1. Holy crap, this dude actually called ISIS “freedom fighters”.

      Not even Reason’s biggest dipshits like Richman, Dalmia, or Chapman go that far.

      1. And Boko Haram is all about the “Female Empowerment”.

      2. Ken Shultz might. I reckon he’s itching to ask you “Why are you afraid of ISIS on campus, coward? Why do you want to subvert the Constitution, traitor? When did you stop beating your wife?”

      3. Of course they are freedom fighters.

        They are fighting for the freedom to kill women and rape goats whenever the Caliph tells them it is ok to do so.

    2. I honestly am finding this shit incomprehensible.

    3. They keep trying to make Spoony and I look bad.

      1. Naturally, they rejected the fees of nearly every libertarian speaker we tried to bring to campus.

        1. Well, you can’t have for-profit speech, naturally.

    4. This guy is either the dumbest Ivy League bigwig ever or politically correct to a fault ? for welcoming offers to bring ISIS and Hamas to Cornell University.

      Nah, he’s just a run of mill academic.

      1. He’s an Associate Dean of Students, not even an academic, just a HR flunky that couldn’t make it in an actual corporation.

    5. FFS, my wife almost worked for that pit of icy derp.

      1. The sad thing is that it was once a great place. A couple of my neighbors went there in the 60s, one for a PHD and the other undergrad, and they loved it. It was at one time the most practical and down to earth of the Ivies. Now it is just as big of a pile of crap as all of them.

        1. I doubt I would have lasted long in Ithaca, between the snow, the hippies and the accents.

          1. It is in the middle of nowhere and has a climate similar to Siberia. The place is however known for its agriculture and science programs. So at one time real people actually went and taught there.

            1. Still a good school, I graduated in 2010 from the engineering college. I dealt with shockingly little SJW crap while there. The climate was incredibly depressing for me, though, having grown up in Texas.

              1. Damn, I forgot that we were that close to overlapping.

          2. My winter in Ithaca was the second least snowy* of my life.

            *there’s got to be a better way to word that

            1. Going from 13″ to 67″ of snow on average would have broken me. I was willing to try if she got the job, because it was some nice gobs of money to rub all over my sweaty, willing body, but the snow would have been tough.

              1. sweaty, willing body

                *fights back gag reflex*

  29. Today is the last call for getting on the reservation for the Boston area meetup. If you don’t contact hamilton today, I’m sure you can still show up Friday evening, but you might have to stand at the bar like some commoner.

    1. Where and what time might that be?

  30. I’ll be going to a book festival soon and noticed this event in their program guide: Blacks Mulattos and the Dominican Nation

    Interestingly, the festival is in the old hometown of our own Mulatto, the Heroic one.

    1. This guy always goes to that conference. He’s Brooklyn famous, Published Go the F*ck to Sleep. Never talked politics with him.

      1. He seems pretty far (out) left based on a quick glance at his magazine (climate justice talk, Marx still matters, etc) I’d probably not enjoy talking politics with him. Kids books, maybe. Moot point though since I’m going to miss the day he’s there.

        BTW, just looked at your linky, Maurice. You’re a porn merchant? You’re my kind of guy.

  31. I’ll be going to a book festival soon and noticed this event in their program guide: Blacks Mulattos and the Dominican Nation

    Interestingly, the festival is in the old hometown of our own Mulatto, the Heroic one.

  32. The Thin Blue Line of Entitlement

    The proper order of things is upended. Black is white and white is black, cats and dogs cohabit. Madness!

    A judge has disbelieved a cop.

    Last week Circuit Judge Diana Stuart acquitted teenager Thai Gurule on juvenile charges of assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest, and attempted assault on a cop. She acquitted him even though the cops said he did it.

    Is Judge Stuart some sort of pro-criminal agitator? Apparently. In an extensive written order she weighed the testimony of sworn police officers against irrelevant trifles like actual videorecordings of their encounter with Gurule. Even though the cops swore that Gurule threw punches at them, Judge Stuart disbelieved them simply because she could not see any punches on the cell phone videos. Is she some sort of video-fisticuffs expert? Worse than that, she specifically stated that she didn’t find some of their testimony credible. As if they weren’t cops.

    But Police Union President Daryl Turner understands the natural order of things, even if this upstart judge doesn’t.

    The quotes from the Union President are insane.

    1. Justice will be served once all those officers are charged with perjury or filling a false report, whichever is appropriate.

    2. If judges and juries stop believing cops, we are going to have a big problem in this society. It is virtually impossible to enforce the law without the testimony of police. If judges and juries start assuming the police are lying, a lot of guilty people are going to walk. That would not be a good thing. It would however be entirely the fault of the cops. These assholes are destroying our criminal justice system by totally abusing the public trust. I hate them more for that than I hate them for the innocent people they have railroaded. We can fix individual cases. We will not, however, be likely to fix our justice system once these assholes have broken it.

      1. I would be a lot more concerned with guilty people walking, if so many of those people weren’t guilty of victimless crimes.

        1. Yeah, given that the overwhelming majority of those who go to trial for a crime are guilty of something that shouldn’t be a criminal matter massive cuts in the conviction rate would be an unqualified good thing at this point in time.

    3. Mr. Turner is truly a piece of dog excrement.

      Or really, any of the articles here: http://topics.oregonlive.com/tag/daryl turner/index.html

  33. Group of scientists demand Smithsonian and other museums sever ties with Koch Brothers

    In the letter, and a subsequent petition related specifically to the billionaire Koch brothers, the scientists contend that museums of science and natural history should not be associated with “those who profit from fossil fuels or fund lobby groups that misrepresent climate science.”

    The petition specifically calls for David Koch to be kicked off the boards of the American Museum of Natural History in New York and the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History in Washington. The movement is being organized by a new “mobile” museum called The Natural History Museum, a pop-up whose exhibitions are featured in existing institutions.

    They plan to present the petitions to the museums in New York and D.C. before their respective spring board meetings.

    David Koch, the billionaire conservative donor and executive vice president of Koch Industries, donated $35 million in 2012 for a new dinosaur hall at the Smithsonian’s Natural History museum. He had previously given $15 million to the museum’s hall of human origins that is named for him. In New York’s museum, he donated $20 million to the dinosaur wing that is also named after him.

    Hope these scientists never require medical assistance at a Koch-funded hospital.

    1. So, scientists, you see any cavities in that gift horse’s mouth?

    2. The signatories list is a who’s who of climate fear mongers led by Hansen.

      And I love that so many of them trumpet their association with the 2007 IPCC report that received a Nobel Prize, even though it was a political hack document that foretold the disappearance of the Himalayan glaciers and massive increases in hurricanes that never materialized.

      1. They are just fascists. What is the point of doing this other than to try and run their opponents totally out of society. If your concern is the Kochs funding evil propaganda, then you should want them to give money to the Smithsonian since that would mean less money for the things you hate. That of course is not their concern. Their concern is enforcing a totalitarian political orthodoxy.

    3. I patiently await Neal De Grasse’s condemnation of inserting politics into science.

    4. 4. Kevin E Trenberth, Distinguished Senior Scientist, Climate Analysis Section, National Center for Atmospheric Research, Lead Author 2001 and 2007 IPCC report which won a Nobel Prize.

      5. Danny Harvey, Professor of Geography and Climatology, University of Toronto, IPCC Convening Lead Author and Lead Author; Deputy Editor of Climatic Change.

      6. Eric Chivian, founder and Director of the Center for Health and the Global Environment at Harvard Medical School. Co-founder of International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War, which won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1985.

      7. Henry Pollack, Emeritus Professor of Geophysics at the University of Michigan. Advisor to the National Science Foundation, IPCC member.

      8. Michael Mann, Distinguished Professor of Meteorology; Director, Earth System Science Center, The Pennsylvania State University.

      Why it’s like an IPCC Old Boy’s Club! I’m shocked. Also, note that one of the signatories is a frickin’ MD, totally not a go-to for climate science.

      1. 16. Robert R. Janes, Ph.D. , Archaleologist[sic], Museologist, Editor-in-Chief Emeritus, Museum Management and Curatorship

        For the lulz, an archaeologist (assuming that’s a typo in the original) and museologist. Assuming the later is a bullshit degree in museum management, unless he’s an expert on muses.

      2. “latter” not “later”

        18. Greg Laden, Paleoanthropologist, Independent Scholar, Writer at National Geographic Scienceblogs.

        Laden is Myers’ sycophant-in-chief.

        19. Sarah Kornbluth, Biologist; Affiliate of Bee Database Project, American Museum of Natural History and Doctoral Candidate, Rutgers University

        A graduate student. That’s reaching.

  34. A Lexicon of Social Justice

    The unfortunate biological reality that some people are bigger and stronger than others


    The internalised misogyny of Mother Nature

    The awkward reality that most people aren’t gay. Can be remedied with the proper social conditioning

    Critical theory

    Death threats
    Mean tweets

    Dominant culture
    The stuff people actually like. Not to be confused with taxpayer-funded lesbian performance art, which would surely break all Box Office records if only more people got to see it

    Used to mean giving everyone a fair chance; now means enforcing 50-50 quotas in jobs women don’t want to do in order to punish men for being good at maths and physics

    Misandry masquerading as a fight against oppression and prejudice on the basis of sex; what unattractive men and women do to get attention

    A word the general public doesn’t really understand. Used to defend feminists who prefer shot-putting to ballroom dancing and to pretend that this is normal and that they have every chance of some day finding a boyfriend

    Glass ceiling
    My career isn’t doing as well as I think it should be, because I’m an insufferable, hateful, jealous bore, and I am looking for someone to blame

    That’s about half of ’em

    1. Let’s not forget Judd’s “Gender Violence”
      aka tweets

  35. Whatever happened to The Late P Brooks? Did the chemical infusion of zombie juice finally run out?

  36. From Philly:

    Most of prefer to see public education not as a “monopoly,” a term dripping with malevolent connotation, but as the most important stepladder to kids to escape poverty and rise to great heights — as it was once for many of the successful business people funding “school choice,” including folks like Greenberg and Yass who attended the public schools in Queens, N.Y. It’s important to remember a) that most Philadelphians don’t support the unfettered brand of libertarianism linked to the Susquehanna partners and b) millions of dollars can buy a ton of TV air time, but it can’t buy a single vote. The electorate needs to listen up, think for itself, and decide if it really wants this philosophy of the 1 Percent looming over City Hall for the next four years.

    Got that? If you went to public school, apparently you have no grounds for trying to change education. And calling public school system a monopoly is mean. Ha ha ha ha ha.

    1. Oh, and advocating for school choice is apparently “a hardcore brand of libertarianism”.

      1. If school choice is hardcore, god help me if they find out what I would do with every single government agency.

    2. b) millions of dollars can buy a ton of TV air time, but it can’t buy a single vote.

      Thanks for admitting that. Can we all just stop talking about Citizens United now?

    3. Add it to the list. You can’t criticize the military if you’ve never “served.” You can’t criticize the drug war if you don’t have children. You can’t criticize abortion if you’re a man.

  37. The Bechdel Test for Programming

    A lot of movies and shows don’t pass. How would programming culture fare if subjected to a similar test? One tech firm, 18F, decided to find out after seeing the above tweet from Laurie Voss, CTO of npm, which explained the parameters of a modified Bechdel Test. According to Voss, a project that passes the test must feature at least one function written by a woman developer, that calls a function written by another woman developer.

    Check out the latest developer jobs.

    “The conversation started with us quickly listing the projects that passed the Bechdel coding test, but then shifted after one of our devs then raised a good point,” read 18F’s blog posting on the experiment.

    It may not be the function you need, but dammit, make it work. You owe it to them, you shitlord oppressor.

    1. I only have one question for programming:


      1. I have a few followup questions, those I suppose they could be considered just more specific descriptions of “work”.

      2. Apparently, that’s not the most important thing, any longer.

      3. Functioning code isn’t the goal. They work for the govt. They just need to be diverse and fair.

        I’d love to see the unit tests that these people produce.

        18F, which acts as the in-house digital delivery team for the federal government’s General Services Administration, used the test as a springboard for an internal discussion about diversity: “It only addresses gender: race, socio-economic status, disability, and others are important considerations when building successful, diverse teams.”

        1. Apparently the first test involves searching the file for info on the author and determining the gender (perhaps based on the name in the header comments?) .

    2. Because code written by a woman is somehow different, or better?

      1. The laws of electrodynamics and the theories of computation care so much about the sex of the person programing. These people are primitives. They really do believe in magic. They think that if you say the right words and follow the right rituals the program will work. It is no different than people who believe in appeasing the Gods to obtain favorable weather and a good harvest.

        1. I hear that female code is more nurturing and empathetic to the user.

  38. Bruce Campbell will play Ronald Reagan in season 2 of ‘Fargo’

    Taking place in the late 1970s, Season 2 ? a prequel to Season 1 that stars Patrick Wilson as a younger version of Keith Carradine’s Lou Solverson ? is set against “the cultural transformation that was going on at that time,” as well as Reagan’s first campaign for President of the United States, previewed FX Networks CEO John Landgraf back in January. “He’s on his first campaign [and he] makes a swing through Fargo. Some of the characters have some interactions with him. And some of his movies are also a part of the show.”
    It’s unclear if one of those folks interacting with Campbell’s Gipper will be former Burn Notice co-star Jeffrey Donovan, who is set to recur in Fargo’s second season.
    Campbell, who recently signed on to reprise his role as Ash in Starz’ 10-episode Ash Vs. Evil Dead series, will appear in one episode.

    1. “Hail to the king Gorbachev!”

      “Good? Bad? I’m the guy with the ICBMs”

  39. For any uh, Star Blazers fan, I can recommend Space Battleship Yamato 2199, a revisit of the original series.

    Only available with subtitles – the music score, FX, and space ships closely follow the original.

    1. Cool! I loved that cartoon.

      1. Yes, I loved it too, back in the day. I wonder how much I’d like it now, though.

        I remember when Speed Racer was back on tv for awhile – I watched a couple of episodes and couldn’t believe how terrible it was.

        1. I’ve watched some Battle of the Planets on Youtube. Corny but still kinda awesome.

        2. It holds up pretty well though I saw the heavy hand of US censorship – removing the many deaths which required some weird changes – that I hadn’t noticed when I was young.

      1. holy shit it’s like $100 on Amazon. That’s a lot of monocles.

        1. there’s a Malaysian version on Ebay – all 26 episodes on 3 DVDs for ~$25

          1. ‘Course, its dubbed in Malaysian and the subtitles are in Tagalog.

          2. I’m going to have to advocate for the artists here and mention that Malaysian anime discs are generally bootlegs (that are legal in their country but wouldn’t be most anywhere else) and are very low quality.

    2. Is that the one where the ship was always incredibly damaged after a battle, just barely hanging on?

      1. yes, and with a seemingly infinite supply of materials for repair. But a good space opera, nonetheless.

        1. I didn’t really watch it much, but my brother did.

    3. Fighting with the Gamalons, we won’t stop until we’ve won!

    4. How could anyone not be a fan of that show.

      It had by far the best theme song of any tv show ever

      30 years after I first watched it and I still get goose bumps every time I hear that song

      1. Exactly, I could probably sing it from memory.

  40. Rand Paul’s presidential launch tour will include speech on aircraft carrier

    When the Kentucky Republican makes one of the first stops in his official run for the presidency in Mt. Pleasant, South Carolina, next month, he will do so with his back to thousands of tons of American steel made to bear some of the deadliest weaponry on the planet — the U.S.S. Yorktown. The decommissioned aircraft carrier now functions as a floating museum, but participated in South Pacific operations during World War II.

    The optics of a libertarian-leaning senator, known for his reluctance to intervene overseas, arguing his fitness to be commander-in-chief in front of an instrument of war aren’t an accident. The move is likely meant to toughen up Paul’s image in a GOP primary field dominated by foreign policy hawks who already have their knives out for him.

    Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), who announced his campaign for president on Monday, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) and even Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), a frequent saber-rattler, pose the biggest threat to Paul’s presidential aspirations.

    Paul has also been ramping up his rhetoric against the Islamic State militants. He even endorsed carving out a new state for Iraqi and Syrian Kurds. But his recent positions, including his signature on a Senate letter addressed to Iran, have irked some of his libertarian followers

    1. The optics of describing a politician who is still a practicing eye doctor using the term optics cannot be overlooked

  41. Rio Olympics will be literal shit show:

    With 500 days to go until the 2016 Olympics begin, Rio de Janeiro’s mayor acknowledged Monday that the much-touted goal of cleaning up the city’s blighted waterways for the games would likely not be met.

    In an interview with SporTV, Eduardo Paes said that cleaning up Guanabara Bay, the sewage- and trash-filled waterway where the Olympic sailing events are to be held, “is something that we should have been able to achieve.”

    1. They might actually fuck it up more than the Russians fucked up Solchi. The only good news is that the next Olympics after Rio will be the winter games in South Korea. The Koreans are hard working and ruthlessly efficient. Sure it will the usual public rip off and such. The Koreans will at least not fuck it up like the Russians did and the Brazilians no doubt will.

    2. The Olympics are such an unbelievably corrupt farce I can’t believe anyone still cares about them.

  42. Collapse of universe is “imminent”, ie in several billion years

    The universe will collapse sooner than expected ? and is, relative to the life of the universe, “imminent”. But thankfully it won’t happen for the next few tens of billions of years.

    Then, all of the matter in the universe will stop expanding and instead start collapsing in on itself, destroying all of it.

    Two scientists have proposed a new theory of the mechanism that will force the universe to do so and a study of its implications, which could explain the dark energy that is thought to exist in the universe. Though the study revises our understanding of how the universe could end, it is more significant in its proposals about that dark energy, according to Phys.org, which reported the study.

    The findings relate to the “cosmological constant problem” ? the fact that there is much more vacuum energy in the universe, which causes it to expand, than would be predicted.

    So don’t go telling your boss to fuck off just yet.

    1. Yeah, predictions when you don’t understand everything are often a little unreliable. We can’t even explain gravity, let alone dark matter, dark energy, inflation, whatever.

      1. It’s the easy way to get published in the physics world, predict utter doom. Works for climatologists too.

      2. Hurr durr, the Peanut Gallery is whining about inflation again. HURR!

    2. But is it anthropogenic?

        1. Universe Collapses; Women, Minorities Hardest Hit

          1. Note how physicists talk of an “anthropic principle”–literally, it’s all about men. The universe itself discriminates against women.

            1. The collapse of the universe is worth it if it ends the patriarchy once and for all!

              1. God’s a dude, so it’s inherent in the very act of creation itself. Therefore, nullity is the only proper state of affairs.

    3. That is just a simple calculation to determine if there is enough mass in the universe to create enough gravitational pull to reverse the expansion. For there to be enough mass, there has to be a whole lot of dark matter we can’t see, since the amount of matter we can see is nowhere near enough. Since I am pretty sure we have yet to definitely prove the existence of dark matter, this theory seems a bit speculative.

      1. Speculative is a kind word.

    4. How will this affect my 401k?

      1. Diversify your holdings to include stocks in other universes.

  43. i need some advice. I have a small presentation due in a International Relations class. It is on global security as it related to global warming. Everyone else in my class picked the topic all excited about writing about how important it is to solve the problem. My libertarians/ contrarian wants to say it is overblown and the science is not as precise as they all think. I need to make my argument from a constructivist, realist, liberalist, marxist, or feminist point of view. How can I accomplish this? I want to troll these people badly.

    1. First step- get a copy of Roy Spencer’s overview.


    2. How about making the honest Marxist argument? I think it would go as follows. Lenin rightly pointed out that the proletariat did not produce the revolution because the exploiter class robbed the developing world and used the proceeds to buy off the proletariat into not revolting. The evil capitalist west were also able to use the proceeds from this exploitation to bankrupt the old communist block. The global warming problem offers an opportunity to reverse this. It allows revolutionaries to capitalize on western concerns for the environment in order to get them to adopt inefficient means of energy production. This will then reduce the size of their economies and wealth preventing them from exploiting the developing world and bribing their proletariat into not revolting. Global Warming is not a security problem. It is an opportunity to finally prevent the Western capitalist countries from engaging in exploitation. Therefore, even if AGW is a lie, it is a noble lie that has to be told. The science is consequently only important in so far as it is believed. The point is to use the problem as a weapon to achieve larger justice.

      1. this is great!! Anyone else have some good ones?

        1. The nations of the world should unite to increase the pace of global warming, to punish mankind and to send a message to humanity in the future to beware.

          That, or do the entire presentation from the perspective and in the guise of Dr. Zaius.

        2. When should we expect you to report back on your trolling?

          1. not sure yet, we dont know the presentation date. It wasn’t even on the damn syllabus. I think someone told him he was missing a presentation aspect to the class so he threw this together last minute.

        3. I think the big one is the economic one.

          Basically it boils down to this – we spend a lot of money to combat climate change *now*, we end up poor in a cold future. And poor people fight over resources.

          Or, we leave it, invest the money that we would have spent on fighting climate change, let the magic of compound interest leave us phenomenally rich in a warm world. Where, while it will cost more to combat climate change in absolute dollars the *percentage* of wealth consumed doing so will be much lower. And rich people who trade openly with each other do not fight wars against their trading partners.

    3. I think the centerpiece of your article should be how the green movement is opressing people in developing nations by trying to keep them in poverty and how some very nasty people are using the same movement to enrich themselves.

      Since it is a small presentation I would make it about India.

      There are two tracks:
      1) How the Indian government lost its patience with greenpeace and is treating them as a national security threat

      2) The rise and fall of Pachauri (focusing on how TERI was influencing IPCC reports to contain recommendations that when implemented funneled money into their coffers and the coffers of TERI’s officers). Finish with the sexual harassment.

      The best part is you can post the slide of Al Gore and PAchauri standing together on the stage receiving the nobel prize and say two men who had their careers derailed by sexual misconduct.

      Do it right and they will be squirming as they are pinned by the movement they adore doing the things they hate.

      Required reading to orient yourself:

      The Global Warming Policy Foundation
      The Master Resource Blog
      Bjorn Lomborg’s blog.

      1. Tarran,

        Yours is the truthful answer but one which is likely to get poor Rufus run out of class. These people don’t want to hear and won’t listen to the truth. So, the way to troll them is tell them what they want to hear taken to the most offensive and absurd levels.

    4. Troll Harder.

      Do it from a Fascist perspective…

      Global warming will mostly kill technologically inferior brown people cleansing the earth of their filth and paving the way for a glorious white future

  44. Woman, who spent 22 years on death row, has conviction overturned.

    The detective made up a fake testimony from the woman that she murdered her child.

    The detective should be on death row now, if there were any real justice in this country.

  45. So: is it true that Jackoff Ace is the return of our beloved joe? That would be big news indeed. It’s good to have reminders that there really are people who can’t stand the thought that others might be free to choose their own way in life.

    1. Yes it is. Look on the Suderman “Obama is still living in denial about how unpopular Obamacare’ thread yesterday. He proceeds to put out a bunch of lies about how popular it is and I respond with “go fuck yourself Joe, you mendacious midget”. He took the bait and didn’t deny being Joe and instead accused me of being a keyboard tough guy, which is a classic Joe move.

      1. I just read something about how bad the ACA is and how much Democrats are fighting to delay some of the even worse stuff coming down the pike. . .in a left-leaning paper. But it’s secretly efficient, wonderful, and popular. Amazing how much lying you can do with a little cherry-picking.

      2. Hilarious! He didn’t deny being a midget, either?

        That fucking guy.

    2. That appeared to be the case – he reacted….poorly, when called out. Maybe he was no longer doing God’s work on some of the meanest streets of America?

  46. Phil Robertson fantasizes about the rape and murder of an atheist family to make a point about the righteousness of Christian morality.

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