A.M. Links: Obama Calls for Arrest of Local Ferguson Criminals, ACLU Admits OU Expulsions Unconstitutional, Ganymede Could Have Saltwater Ocean


  • NASA

    Protests against police malfeasance continue in Ferguson, Missouri after two cops were shot the previous night. Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, President Obama called for the arrest of the shooters, who have not yet been found.

  • The lawyer for Ross Ulbricht, convicted of charges related to running Silk Road, has filed a motion for a new trial, claiming the government didn't release evidence supporting his client's innocence in a timely manner.
  • Univision host Rodner Figueroa was fired after saying Michelle Obama looked like she belonged on the set of "Planet of the Apes" during an "El Gordo y La Flaca" segment about a makeup artist who makes himself look like female celebrities.
  • A judge in Staten Island ruled a lawsuit against teacher tenure filed on behalf of public school students could move forward.
  • The ACLU admitted the expulsion of two students from Oklahoma University for racist speech was unconstitutional.
  • George W. Bush condemned the crackdown on student-led protests in Burma after a student leader who participated in a Bush Institute forum was arrested.
  • Jupiter's largest moon, Ganymede, could have a huge saltwater ocean.

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  1. 32) A have a buddy who moved to a new neighborhood in Philadelphia a few years ago. He went out from his new place one day to get a haircut, but at the barbershop down the street he heard a *click* as he approached the door, and found the door was locked when he tried to open it. Odd, the lights were on, people were in there. He looked in the window and noticed all the barbers and patrons were African-American. Of course, it was a black barbershop, and they weren’t interested in having some white guy intruding in their space. Smiling at his mistake, my friend kept on walking until he found another barbershop.
    Now, he probably could have sued this place or made a big deal about it, but why would he? Who would begrudge these guys their own space, where they can hang out without worrying about a bunch of honkeys bothering them? Nobody would. So why do we make such a big deal about Christian bakeries who don’t want to bake cakes for gay weddings? Or white fraternities who don’t want to admit women or black members? Maybe all these people are assholes for excluding others, but so what? Is it so hard to understand sometimes some people just want to hang out with others like them?

    1. It’s nice to see somebody beat Fisty to the punch.

    2. And sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name.

      1. Sometimes it’s good business practice to turn away customers.

        1. Even droids?

        2. If you might lose your regulars over accepting that customer, is that statement really sarcasm?

          1. It wasn’t sarcasm. If you have a net loss in customer base, all else being equal it may be good business. WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WASN’T BEING SERIOUS?

    3. Smiling at his mistake, my friend kept on walking until he found another barbershop.

      He *did* first flash some sort of gangsta gesture through the window, though, right?

      1. The smile is the gang sign of the white cis-hetero patriarchy, donchaknow.

    4. Hello.

      You’re not Fist.


    5. If that were me, and it’s just me (because I am the Eugene Levy of this community), I’d be obliviously “Canadian, take off eh?” on them.

    6. I blame the hippies.

    7. Who “hangs out” at Christian bakeries…?

      1. Filipino Midget Airline Pilots.

        1. god I hate those little bastards with their snarky comments in tagalog and balut breath!

      2. Christian bakers and Christian baking enthusiasts?

      3. Assuming they serve coffee and treats, it could be a hangout spot. I used to live near a Greek bakery that always had some locals chilling with their coffee. I assume the owners were Christian, and it wouldn’t surprise me if they would be uncomfortable serving a gay wedding.

    8. I’ve made $64,000 so far this year working online and I’m a full time student. I’m using an online business opportunity I heard about and I’ve made such great money. It’s really user friendly and I’m just so happy that I found out about it. Heres what I’ve been doing,

  2. Jupiter’s largest moon, Ganymede, could have a huge saltwater ocean.


    1. Why so slow, FOE?

      1. I’m beginning to suspect you had that typed out ahead of time.

        1. I’m just a fast typer.

      2. Why so SERIOUS?

    2. Ganymede might have a saltwater ocean, but we all know what Europa is hiding.

    3. Wonder how long Ganymede has been waiting for that ocean to give up it’s sunk warming.

    4. You’re not first so why should I listen to anything you have to say?

    5. You don’t need nukes. You just need an insurance policy. A.I.M. offers some very reasonable rates.

      1. *pencils in note to check insurance portfolio for meteor and comet protection policies*

        A.I.M. work through brokers, agents or write direct?

        1. Pro Lib handles all those parts of the business. And also the blackm- I mean “Public Service Announcements”.

        2. I think that the AIM works mostly in tepees and moccasins.

          1. Wrong AIM, which our team of asteroid litigators will soon clear up.

            1. Good luck. Assholes In Moccasins are a tough bunch.

              1. You’d be surprised how much kinetic persuasion can change even the most obstinate opposition.

    6. Watch Planet of Blood to see what happens next.

  3. Protests against police malfeasance continue in Ferguson, Missouri after two cops were shot the previous night.

    Now everyone in Ferguson gets to share the siege mentality.

    1. Did they ever say how the cops were shot?

      The news report I saw said they were shot with a pistol from 100 yards away. If true, that is one hell of a pistol shot they should be looking for. Or else somebody with a pistol caliber carbine or rifle – or the news just fucked it up as they usually do.

      1. Celebratory shots into the air unrelated to the protests? What was the trajectory?

        1. So you have been in Aurora, IL on New Year’s Eve then?

      2. I know. And one of the cops was hit in the face. A head shot from 100 yards with a pistol is really quite remarkable.

  4. Barney Frank: My Life as a Gay Congressman
    It took me 32 years to come out. This is what happened when I did.

    And it was fabulous!

    1. It took me 32 years to come out. This is what happened when I did.

      Seven shocking secrets about being a gay congressman!

    2. The wrong Frank made it out of the closet alive.

      1. Actually, I apologize for that. That’s horrible.

        1. It approaches Nicole levels of horrible. Yet I bet half the commentariat is laughing at it.

          1. Took me a minute but….nice.

            1. I didn’t notice it until I saw the apology.

          2. No comment.

      2. I predict in Season 4, Frank Underwood will come out of the closet to save his political career.

        1. It didn’t work for McGreevey.

            1. …who the FBI caught on tape accepting a bribe.”

    3. It took him 32 years to accept he has two first names?

    4. “I’ll be frank ….”

      “No, *I’ll* be Frank!”

      1. You are serious, aren’t you, Shirley?

        1. Yes. and don’t call me Ted S

          1. Don’t worry. I don’t want people to confuse me with those antipodean freaks.

    5. More experience with “Santorum”.

  5. “Jupiter’s largest moon, Ganymede, could have a huge saltwater ocean.”

    Great… that means Pro L’ already has all the beachfront property staked out.

    1. In space, no one can hear you scream at his banana hammock.

      1. I think I laughed just a bit too much at that.


        But, thanks for that anyway.

    2. He’s had untold millennia to stake his claim.

      1. AND get the claim deeds recorded.


        1. I’ve been renting a home on TMA-2. Lovely ebon vistas. And it’s full of stars!

  6. Kanye West thinks ‘racism is a dated concept’
    West also compared racism to a “bouncing ball in a room with two cats”

    “I wouldn’t call it racism? [it’s] a form of discrimination, or bigotry. Racism is a dated concept. It’s, like, a silly concept that people try to touch on to either? to separate, to alienate, to pinpoint anything. It’s stupid. It’s like a bouncing ball in a room with two cats, when you don’t feel like playing with a cat. Let them literally fight over the bouncing ball. And the bouncing ball has nothing, no purpose, anything other than that it bounces. That’s racism. It’s not an actual thing that even means anything. You know ? It’s something that was used to hold people back in the past. But now there’s been so many leaps and breaking of the rules that it’s, like, played out like a style from the 1800s or something. You know ? the real true freedom isn’t in the words. The real true freedom is in the opportunity. And that’s what I’m saying. It’s opportunities and dignity, the dignity of people. Who’s to say? there could be a cab driver who’s more dignified than a business man. Who’s to say that because this guy has an apartment at the top of the Louvre or something, [he’s] more important than this guy staying down. Because it’s a matter of how you are. How you treat human beings

    1. Was that the same guy who tried to tell people to give their awards to other people based on racial criteria?

      1. New day, different troll method

      2. It’s also the guy who said the president didn’t care about black people 8 years ago.

      3. You like fish sticks… in you mouth?

    2. Authentic frontier word salad.

      1. As a Derp professional, when that was laid out before you…did you smile broadly?

      2. Ima let Kanye finish ….

        1. Ima let Kanye finish ….said Kim K!

    3. Who’s to say? there could be a cab driver who’s more dignified than a business man. Who’s to say that because this guy has an apartment at the top of the Louvre or something, [he’s] more important than this guy staying down. Because it’s a matter of how you are. How you treat human beings

      I don’t know if he actually means it or even understands exactly what he is saying. That is however pretty wise words none the less. Good for Kanye.

      1. Yeah, it’s bizarre in how profound it is, and yet crazy at the same time. Also, hypocritical given the source.

    4. I normally think West is a complete fucking idiot, but occasionally he says something smart (or partly smart). This is a bit jumbled, but it lines up pretty well with how I look at most racism is the contemporary US. Focusing on rooting out every bit of racism at this point is counterproductive.

      The last thing I saw from him that wasn’t completely stupid was his response to the South Park episode mocking him. Of course, he continued to take himself way too seriously after that.

      1. Yeah, quotes like this make me think that there might be a decent and smart human being underneath all of that ego and self entitlement. In fairness, it would be difficult to be in his situation surrounded by sycophants and not have it go to your head and be a little nuts.

        1. But isn’t attention-seeking part and parcel of the man’s business?

    5. ‘Because it’s a matter of how you are. How you treat human beings’

      Isn’t this the guy who pissed on Swift and Beck?

      Gotta love the arrogant lack of self-awareness.

    6. Did Kanye West just say something profound?

      I’m confused….

      1. I’m with you.

        I wanna inquire about apartments at the top of the Louvre but I’m worried it might be profoundly misconstrued.

    7. That might actually be halfway intelligent. Hard to say because I can’t quite follow it, but a couple lines stick out as being non-retarded.

  7. Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, President Obama called for the arrest of the shooters, who have not yet been found.

    Uh, Kimmel?

    1. Since when do presidents appear on entertainment talk shows? I really don’t give a crap about the dignity of the office, but some people seem to.

      1. It just speaks to the fact that he is a political creature first and foremost.

        1. What president isn’t? But it seems like there used to be a sort of unwritten rule about that sort of thing. Obama might be special in being almost purely a political creature. And a narcissistic “celebrity president”.

          1. That’s all he’s done since coming into office.

            He’s the wannabe Derek Sanderson of politics.

            Or something.

          2. What president isn’t?

            True, he just seems to be more craven than the rest.

            1. more craven than the Professor & Mary Ann?

    2. Calling for the arrest of someone who shoot two people with a gun? Bold.

      1. “Obama Takes Bold Stand on Ferguson Violence”
        – MSM

      2. Well if he hadn’t, the police probably wouldn’t even have thought to look for the shooter.

  8. Included in each shipment will be two hand-selected wines with a progressive nature

    Yes it’s The Nation’s Whine Club

    1. Oh goodness. I thought you were kidding with that quote.

      1. I’d presume it’s all “organic” (as though regular wines aren’t carbon-based) or Fa Irt Rade wines.

          1. Splitting two words into three is no dumber than joining them up as one.

            Indeed, I’d argue it’s less bad, because joining up words often seems to be done with the intention of getting people to stop thinking about what the words mean; it’s something Orwell discussed in his essay on Newspeak. Breaking it up into three forces people to stop for a second. I’m also reminded of the British tendency to capitalize only the first letter in an acronym, as in government agencies like Ofcom (the first syllable is not pronounced like the preposition “of”, but comes from “office”, if memory serves) or Defra (whatever the hell that is. Or the tendency of doctors to refer to diseases by acronyms even when it’s not hard to pronounce Latin words. “Myasthenia gravis” I can see abbreviating; changing “low testosterone” to “low T” is asinine.

        1. Yes, words can have only one meaning. Not that that kind of organic isn’t mostly arbitrary and unimportant.

        2. It costs twice as much and two union thugs come over to serve you: one to uncork it and another to pour it.

    2. So the flavor profile of the wines are all aggressively stupid with a smug finish?

      1. Its more of a bitter, astringent quality.

        The smug finish, though, yeah. Gotta have that

    3. Prog wine: Rush, Vintage 2112

      1. Our first stop is in Bogota
        To check Colombian fields
        The natives smile and pass along
        A sample of their yield….

        1. Would be great if they played that song on their tour this summer.

          1. They played it in Nashville on the last tour.

      2. From “the Cask of 43”!

    4. As for myself, when I’m sitting in front of the TV wearing only my underwear, flipping through the channels in search of a wrestling program, in the hand which isn’t holding the remote I like to hold a can of Miller.

      My only problem is that, with both my hands full, I won’t be able to scratch my balls.

      1. Just use the remote, like a real Murrikan

    5. It’s a trap! If you select “All Whites” they’ll cancel your subscription!

  9. U.S. Ebola patient arrives at hospital from Sierra Leone

    An American health care worker who came down with Ebola while volunteering in West Africa arrived Friday at a National Institutes of Health hospital in Maryland for treatment, the NIH said.

    A chartered aircraft flew the patient to the United States from Sierra Leone, where the person tested positive for the deadly hemorrhagic fever while volunteering at an Ebola treatment center, the NIH said.

    1. This is finally the case that will give us that Ebola epidemic in America.

      1. So, I should panic now?

        1. Pssht. You should never not be panicking.

    2. I thought there were no new cases in Africa.

      1. There aren’t. It’s in America now.

      2. Pretty sure that was just the Liberia part of Africa.

      3. Did anyone actually say that, or is that a dream you had or something?

  10. Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, President Obama called for the arrest of the shooters

    Now, *that* is leadership.

    1. Going out on a limb like that is what got him to where he is today.

      1. Yeah, the cops are like, “oh, look for the shooter! We were just going to wait for the person to turn themselves in, thanks, Obama!”

        Captain Obvious wins again!

    2. What an act. Obama and Holder probably downed a bottle of scotch in celebration last night. They’re getting exactly what they want, and they’re thrilled at what’s happening. The utinate endgame they seek is total federal control over local policing.

  11. Think tattoos are for thugs? Think again: The stunning U.S. models making it big on the catwalk – because they’re covered in ink
    Christian Saint has worked as a commercial photographer for 20 years
    New book Tattoo Super Models celebrates inked beauty
    Wants to create super models from women once viewed as alternative

    Um, no.

    1. Tatted-up women look trashy to me.

      1. There’s good trashy and bad trashy.

        1. Yeah, I think the first red head is pretty hot, the second not so much. I like tattooed women and tattoos in general but I think they should look nice, as in well done/colored and with some thought given to how that tattoo will flow with your body.

          1. Generally yes, but if I could have a one night romp with any of those women I would not turn it down.

            Introduce her to my kids? Hell no. hang out with her for a couple of months? Oh God, yes!

          2. Yeah, I think the first red head is pretty hot

            There are of course exceptions to every rule.

    2. The fun will *really* begin when we can genetically engineer skin patterns.

    3. Tattoos are awful, regardless of who has them.

      1. If a girl is fat, if she’s skinny, if she’s tall, if she’s short, if she’s pretty, or if she’s ugly……….. I’ve never seen a tattoo on a girl that made her look better than she would have otherwise.

        1. I’ve seen a few but they are pretty rare

      2. An old salt with an anchor on his forearm….OK, I get that. Much past that = bleah.

        1. So Switzy does have a type!

        2. Ha. My dad was a Marine and he has a devil on his forearm with ‘The Devil Made Me Do It’ written out.

      3. This. It’s an instant turnoff.

      4. Ted, not all girls with tattoos have hideous Green Bay Packers logos on their hooters that have been deformed by age and gravity.

    4. I’ve dated a couple of girls with tattoos. I’m totally into it.

      1. My wife has one small tat on her back. I’m fine with that. She talks about getting a full sleeve, but thankfully we can’t afford it.

      2. A girl from about 2 months ago turned out to have 5 on her torso once I got the parka off. It was a bit of a turnoff.

        1. Ah, the old hide-everything-under-the-parka trick.

          What else did you find under the parka?

          1. A lot more of her than I was expecting. That didn’t help either.

            1. We’ve all been there, Auric. Just learn from the experience – or try too, anyway.

        2. “Insert” “Tab” “In” “2” “Slot”

        3. Gross! A parka. Seriously though I like tatoos on women.

    5. The redhead is a butterarms.

      1. There’s two. I assume you mean the one whose tattoos are only on her arms?

        1. Yes, that first one.

          I guess I could cut her arms off. They usually just get in the way as is.

      2. Thus the tats?

    6. I had a GF in college with tats – this was before the tattoo craze took off – it worked for her; crazy as hell but what a bod.

    7. Think tattoos are for thugs?

      Sure, and also for brahs, hipsters and other trendoids.

      1. Colonel and Mrs. Dean both sport some ink. I’m thinking of having some more done.

        You’d be surprised, I bet, at the people you know who have tatts.

  12. Kelly Ripa gets stoned and drunk in hilarious Broad City cameo… as she plays wild version of herself


  13. The Ferguson Report and the Right

    But I think, finally, that Milwaukee sheriff David Clarke is wrong, and contemptibly so, to blame the Justice Department’s report on Ferguson for having “fueled this cop hatred, this anti-police sentiment, that’s going on in America.” This sort of view seems to be widely held on the right, with many people dismissing the Ferguson report’s criticisms as spurious. Having now read the report myself, I think, to the contrary, that anyone who cares about protecting citizens from abusive and arbitrary officialdom should ? whatever else he may think of Eric Holder’s tenure as attorney general ? be grateful that the report exists.

    1. to blame the Justice Department’s report on Ferguson for having “fueled this cop hatred, this anti-police sentiment, that’s going on in America.”

      Wow. Talk about not getting it.

      1. The Ferguson situation is brilliant because everyone in any way involved appears to be a moron.

        Conservatives refuse to admit the people living there have legitimate grievances with the cops. Liberals refuse to admit Michael Brown was almost certainly shot while attacking a cop.

        It’s also hilarious watching conservatives blame leftist ‘rhetoric’ for causing the police shootings while liberals whine that this isn’t fair since it’s the exact opposite of what happened after the Giffords shooting.

        1. The comments on that national review link are depressing. This is my favorite quote from the Ferguson report, which I got the from Atlantic article:

          In our conversations with FPD officers, one officer admitted that when he conducts a traffic stop, he asks for identification from all passengers as a matter of course. If any refuses, he considers that to be “furtive and aggressive” conduct and cites?and typically arrests?the person for Failure to Comply. The officer thus acknowledged that he regularly exceeds his authority under the Fourth Amendment by arresting passengers who refuse, as is their right, to provide identification … Further, the officer told us that he was trained to arrest for this violation.

          The officer said to federal agents. What the hell? That is terrifying.

          1. And it’s not limited to Ferguson.

            1. Oh, I agree with you, it is just depressing that conservatives, supposed defenders of constitutional rights, would just easily dismiss something like this:

              And the court’s procedures and operations are ambiguous, are not written down, and are not transparent or even available to the public on the court’s website or elsewhere.

              under the guise that Eric Holder is stupid.

              1. supposed defenders of constitutional rights

                I tried to type out HA HA HA a bunch of times, but I started coughing.

                1. Allow me…


                  1. No sailboat?

                  2. Thank you, good sir.

          2. What sarcasmic said. He only told that to federal agents because it is so common he didn’t think it was a big deal.

            1. It isn’t a big deal. Nothing is going to change. This will be treated as an isolated incident, not an indictment of police culture. Some policies will be enacted (and ignored), and nothing else will happen.

            2. Maybe – despite using the same trick to screw over suspects themselves – these cops fell for it when the Fed told them, “I can only help you if you tell me the whole truth about everything.”

              I’m sure the locals are sitting there wondering what the fuck happened. How could a brother LEO rat them out?

        2. Pretty much that. The other thing is that liberals refuse to admit that the endless number of laws has something to do with the police harassing citizens. The fact that the laws which liberals love so much are what gives the police the excuse to harass citizens is never mentioned. In fact, I honestly don’t see how a cop could faithfully enforce the law without harassing people. Everyone is guilty of something.

          1. Liberals don’t want the law to be faithfully enforced. They like a system where everyone is guilty of something. This allows for the harassment of people they don’t like. If you’ve got connections or show sufficient respect, then you’re fine. If you have no connections and you fail to show sufficient subservience to your public servants, then it’s off to jail you go. Principals, not principles.

            1. I also question how the left can simultaneously want stricter gun laws yet hate the police.

              Who do they imagine will be enforcing these gun laws? Moreover, if they constantly (and rightfully, in my opinion) complain about the fact that the drug war is often used as an excuse to harass black people and the poor, why would they want to give police an excuse to do the exact same thing with firearms?

              1. Principals, not principles. They want gun laws because they hate people who own guns. They oppose the drug war because it disproportionately affects blacks. They don’t give a shit about police brutality as long as the cops are brutalizing people they don’t like.

                1. Sure, but stricter gun laws would overwhelmingly be used against blacks. White gun owners are disproportionately rural, so they’re not going to be running into cops very often. Moreover, do you really think cops in rural Kansas are going to be going out of their way to enforce federal gun laws? Please. Gun laws in rural areas would basically be dead letter which would go unenforced by local sheriffs.

                  The overwhelming number of people arrested under stricter gun laws would be urban blacks.

                  1. Those aren’t the people they intend to use the gun laws against. Remember that we’re talking about people who are unable to separate intentions from results.

                2. They oppose the drug war because it disproportionately affects blacks.

                  citation needed.

                  In my experience, the progs don’t give a shit that blacks get locked up. They love it; it allows them to smear law and order conservatives as being racist.

                  Back in the first half of the 20th century, the proggies crafted a large number of policies to harass, and imprison black people who were migrating into previously lilly-white enclaves. They were occasionally open about the racist nature of their goals.

                  They continue to support those laws. Proggies love the Davis-Bacon act for example.

                  They merely oppose that legislative terror they’ve constructed going after them and their lily-white offspring.

          2. Pretty much that. The other thing is that liberals refuse to admit that the endless number of laws has something to do with the police harassing citizens.

            What the Eric Garner case displayed is that ultimately, all laws are predicated on the premise that they can be backed up with lethal force. But since most of the political types on Eric Garner’s side are avowed statits, you could only look at the Garner case through the prism of race.

          3. “The fact that the laws which liberals love so much….”


            Most of the individuals I personally know or interact with online who self-identify as conservative and/or Republican love the same laws with similar devotion. In truth, they are more likely to refer to suspects/alleged criminals as thugs or animals than the liberal/Democrat leaning people I know or interact with.

            1. ^ Especially regarding drugs. A huge percentage of the issues with cops come from the drug war and the people most likely to favor that are conservatives on the right.

            2. “Liberals” (socialists really but I digress) or much more supportive than ‘the right’ of the type of nannying laws that bring many people into contact with law enforcement.

            3. I have sympathy with your view, but there’s a reason why so many people on the left went nuts when Rand Paul made his comments about bad laws instead of parroting the received wisdom that Garner’s killing was solely down ro race.

            4. Charles,

              The sorts of laws that cops use to harass people are things like traffic laws, car registration, and various other nanny state laws beloved by liberals. Liberals refuse to ever see any connection between police harassment and laws.

              The conservatives you speak of just embrace harassment. They think it is good. That is clearly a bad view to have. It is, however, at least an honest and logically consistent one. Liberals in contrast seem to live in this fantasy world where laws have no effect on the power of or actions of cops, which while not as overtly awful and the conservative views, is more insidious and evil when you think about it.

              1. I see your points John, and am in agreement with the idea that most “Liberals refuse to ever see any connection between police harassment and laws” because of the discussions I’ve had or “overheard” online.

                I’m not as understanding as you seem to be with regards to the other half of the statist crowd. We’ll have to respectfully disagree.

                1. Charles,

                  What are we disagreeing about? I said the conservatives you speak of just think cops harassing undesirables is a good. I certainly don’t agree with that and think the conservatives who think that are living in denial.

                  I would also say this, the trend among the conservatives I know is towards mistrust of cops. There is still a lot of mindless support and trust of cops among conservatives. This is left over from the 70s when to be conservative was to support the cops against liberal lawlessness. Over the last 15 years, a good number of conservatives I know, including pretty much all of my very conservative family, has turned against cops and view them as nothing but petty revenue enforcers for the state. That view is more common than you think and getting more common every day. Cops no longer just fuck with poor people. They have started fucking with the middle class too. And that has woken a lot of people up. When cops lose people like me and my father, cops are losing a lot of people in this country.

                  1. I hope the trend you have experienced and also are seeing much more than I have continues at a rapid pace. Sadly, most of the more conservative types I personally know and those I read online are very supportive of law enforcement regardless of the circumstances.

                    Eric Garner was a criminal who died not because of a police officer using an illegal hold/excessive force, but because Garner was overweight (his lifestyle choice) and resisting arrest (thus he was not a law abiding citizen). It wasn’t the cop’s fault the criminal had physical problems. The police don’t have ESP.
                    Et cetera.

                    If the Garner murder cannot break through these individual’s mental shield I imagine that it will take a tragic encounter between law enforcement and someone they deeply care about to change their views.

                    I informed a couple of my buddies of the growing number of deaths and maiming by law enforcement in our nation. The one later sent me a Youtube video full of factually challenged pro-cop anti-liberties bluster. The second, in a conversation the following week, politely referred to me as paranoid.
                    My experiences are quite different from your own, and I hope that in time that changes for the better.

                    1. Charels,

                      The only reason Eric Garner was a criminal was because selling cigarettes and driving with an expired registration was a crime. Those were the only crimes on his record. Part of the problem is the media does a terrible job reporting the facts. Most people heard “arrested 21 times” and assumed he was a criminal and those must have been real crimes he was arrested for not bullshit. I bet the people you are talking about have no idea what Garner had been arrested for and if they did would have a different opinion.

                    2. I haven’t been able to get through to them, John, although I haven’t given up either.

                      They see him as a criminal who brought his death upon himself. I only discuss this sort of topic if they bring it up, because shortly after I start mentioning actual cases or statistics I see that they have closed their ears to me and are thinking of what they want to say in response and are just waiting for me to wrap up.
                      I know this because their responses often have nothing to do with what I’ve just said.
                      Unlike my posts here today, I haven’t been long-winded since I try to make my points briefly and cogently.
                      They simply do not want to hear information that contradicts their points of view.

                      I agree with your analysis of the media’s failure regarding Eric Garner’s murder.

            5. I’m sure that’s true, but I think the point is that liberals disdain “law and order” Republicans. No one ever refers to a “law and order liberal”, yet they love the laws just as much, perhaps more so.

            6. Conservatives love law.

              Liberals love laws.

              there is a huge distance between the two.

        3. “The Ferguson situation is brilliant because everyone in any way involved appears to be a moron.”

          *Ding Ding Ding*

    2. They’ve gotten a convenient excuse not to look inward.

      1. They’ve gotten always find a convenient excuse not to look inward.

  14. ‘You should see what the Senate says about me!’ Barack Obama remains unfazed by his Twitter trolls as he gamely reads aloud their cruel musings on Jimmy Kimmel Live
    Obama swung by Jimmy Kimmel Live while in LA for Democrat fundraiser
    President read out harsh jibes during the show’s Mean Tweets segment
    One joked: ‘How do you make Obama’s eyes light up? Shine a flashlight in his ears’
    President reveals he’s not allowed to use most smart phones or drive a car
    He branded gunmen who shot two police officers in Ferguson ‘criminals’


    1. “Arrest those guys and bring them to me!”
      “We got em boss, here they are.”
      “Thanks officers, leave them with me and close the door on the way out.”
      *Door slams, Bo looks around*
      “You fucking guys!” *Bo says as he gives them a noogie*

  15. ‘Michelle Obama got me fired’: Disgraced Univision host claims First Lady’s office intervened when she heard him make racist remark that she ‘looks like she’s part of the Planet of the Apes cast’
    Rodner Figueroa made the racially insensitive remark on the entertainment news show El Gordo Y La Flaca on Wednesday
    He was discussing the work of a make-up artist who had transformed himself into Michelle Obama
    By late Wednesday evening the network had removed his photo from their website and on Thursday they confirmed that he had been fired
    Figueroa has issued an apology in which he denies being a racist and states that his father is Afro-Latino
    Also accused Univision of trying to destroy his career ‘in an unfair manner’
    At the Daytime Emmy Awards last June Figueroa had won the Outstanding Daytime Talent in the Spanish category

    At least she didn’t rip his arms off.

    1. You just linked to something already linked in the official links. Your punishment is to spend the morning reading and commenting on stories on /r/politics instead of here.

      1. Like anyone looks at the official links.

          1. The noise above the comments.

          2. …and Postrel wept.

            1. And we all fight over her sweet, salty tears…

              1. I never understood the Postrel-worship. Sure she was quietly competent, but in recent years she’s turned into a bitter scold, repeatedly biting the hands that have fed her.

                1. And her hair?

      2. Your punishment is to spend the morning reading and commenting on stories on /r/politics instead of here.

        I think that would be an eighth amendment violation.

  16. Univision host Rodner Figueroa was fired after saying Michelle Obama looked like she belonged on the set of “Planet of the Apes…”

    Was he saying Obama looked like that or the guy made up to look like Obama looked like that? Also, what’s Spanish for meow?

    1. Who cares? L?se-majest? will not be tolerated.

    2. Exactly. I thought he was saying the GUY looked like he belonged on Planet of the Apes. Meaning, when he tried to make himself look like the first lady, the results were ugly.

    1. So Ann Coulter just had it backwards, then.

      1. So she will be out drowning kittens then?

    2. A dog thinks: This guy feeds me and bathes me and plays with me and takes care of me – he must be God.
      A cat thinks: This guy feeds me and bathes me and plays with me and takes care of me – I must be God.
      Dogs are ever so grateful for every little thing you do for them, cats act like they’re doing you a favor by allowing you to take care of them. Cats are not libertarian in the least.

      1. Yeah, and the way they establish and maintain their turf isn’t particularly libertarian either. I have one who walks around in terror of the other one all day.

    3. speaking of cats – my wife took one of cats to the vet today since the little thing won’t stop biting her fur off. Now she’s on kitty Prozac.

      1. Get a Bite-Not collar. One of my cats periodically de-furs himself due to flea allergies and this works very well. Unlike a regular cone, this lets the cat eat, drink and sleep normally and can be left on for long periods of time.

    4. Cats are not libertarians IFH. They are anarchists. You tell me what rule a cat recognizes other than “bury your shit so the big stupid but dominant cat in the house doesn’t get angry”?

      1. Squirt guns can be used to establish rules with cats (and probably anarchists, too).

  17. Activist Rasmieh Odeh sentenced for immigration lies

    Drain rejected the government’s request to sentence her to five to seven years, saying that she does’t pose a danger to society. But he said that Odeh perjured herself and committed acts of terror in Israel.

    “You lied under oath,” Drain said. Referring to a Marxist Palestinian group the U.S. State Department labels a terrorist organization, Drain added: “She was a member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine. I think she was involved in some terrorist activity.”

    Drain also revoked Odeh’s American citizenship; she will be deported at the conclusion of her sentence. She is now free on bond pending a planned appeal.

    1. She was a member of the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine.

      Wasn’t she with the People’s Front for the Liberation of Palestine? SPLITTER!

      1. She was with the People’s Front for the Liberation of Palestine, but she was still called Stan at that stage

  18. Orange County principals under fire for ‘Vaginas on fire’ text

    Two Orange County principals are facing backlash after 9 Investigates uncovered text messages they shared referring to female teachers under their supervision as “Vaginas on fire.”

    “Well it sounds like sexual harassment,” said Teacher’s Union President Diana Moore. “I think that creates a very hostile environment for the employees at that school.”

    The text was sent by Assistant Principal Scott Peters to Principal Daniel Merchant at Dr. Phillips Elementary School in September.

    “The teachers are very concerned about it,” Moore said.

    The scandal became known around campus as “textgate” and led to an investigation by Orange County Public Schools.

    1. If these texts were not sent to the teachers, how would it create such an environment? What actions taken regarding the teachers, or in their presence can be cited as harrassing?

      1. It doesn’t matter, because FYTW.

    2. The scandal became known around campus as “textgate”

      God damn fucking -gate suffix.

      1. We had a kerfuffle involving fencing contractors, it became known as gategate.

        /not really true, but too possible.

      2. What we need is a law, a mighty law, to prevent this. Today, I will introduce a bill to prohibity this. I’m calling it the Gates Bill.

        1. Too many bills, so many that it’s a scandal! It’s the Billgates

          /rim shot

        2. “Today, I will introduce a bill to prohibity this.”

          Okely Dokely! 🙂

          1. [Glowers at Switzy]

    3. So these people sent private text messages to each other, these texts were uncovered by muckraking journalists, and somehow this created a hostile environment even though the texts weren’t sent to the women in question.


      1. Thoughtcrime, Irish. We must purge the ranks of public school employees of anyone having unmutual thoughts.

        1. “unmutual thoughts”


          1. A reference to “The Prisoner,” not original.

      2. So these people sent private text messages to each other, these texts were uncovered by muckraking journalists

        I’ve created uncovered a hot story!

  19. THEM!

    Researchers nearly double the size of worker ants

    Researchers have changed the size of a handful of Florida ants by chemically modifying their DNA, rather than by changing its encoded information. The work is the latest advance from a field known as epigenetics and may help explain how the insects?despite their high degree of genetic similarity?grow into the different varieties of workers needed in a colony.

    This discovery “takes the field leaps and bounds forward,” says entomologist Andrew Suarez of the University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign, who wasn’t connected to the study. “It’s providing a better understanding of how genes interact with the environment to generate diversity.”

    1. We are going to have to do something to counter the army of monster pythons Florida is creating.

      1. Counter? You poor, naive fool, harnessing and enhancing resident fauna is why Florida’s bid for world domination is preceding as planned.

        1. Fire Ant Regiment…attack! http://entnemdept.ufl.edu/crea…..re_ant.htm

          Python Legion…to the front! http://www.nps.gov/ever/learn/…..sintro.htm

          1. Not to mention the ‘gators, who have infiltrated every single golf course in America.

    2. Now we start to get a clue on how Warty was/will be created.

    3. “a field known as epigenetics”


      1. And he really is like a Bond villain.

        1. Octo-pussy?

  20. Having a crush on a pop star who turned out to be gay is part of growing up. But why are there still so few openly out boy band members? Are the financial incentives to stay in the closet really that great? We crack out our calculator and crunch some numbers.

    1. It’s more a financial incentive to remain cute, non-threatening but theoretically available. Most of those girls probably already have gay BFFs, what they want is someone just like that, but straight.

      1. Lisa Simpson reading a boy-band magazine called Non-Threatening Boys leaps to mind.

        1. Ha, yes!


  21. No One Read Hillary’s Emails Before Deleting Them

    Clinton’s legal team whipped up a list of words, her aides searched for messages containing those words, we have Hillary’s pinky-swear assurance all of those messages were printed out and handed over to the State Department? and everything else was deemed “personal” and deleted..

    She’s going down.

    1. If that is true, she’s done.

        1. Yeah, well, when the Easter Bunny visits ME next month and hops on by your house, we’ll see who’s naive.

          1. Well played, Scruffy.

        2. I hear you, Fist, but it’ll get increasingly entertaining as she gets further hoist by her own petard. A lot of nifty dirt may very well emerge.

          1. I don’t think she has a petard. I think she has absolutely no political sense… She is the polar opposite of her husband, except for being as equally devoid of any sort of moral compass.

        3. What FoE said.

          The media will cover for her, and the electorate largely won’t care.

        4. I think she is going to be derailed by this (on top of everything else) as far as the nomination is concerned, but I also fully expect her to keep running, no matter what.

      1. You only think this is bad because you are a misogynist rethuglican hater.

        1. +1 PB

          1. and +1 Bo

            1. Somebody has to be Ready for Hillary!

              1. barf

      2. How come everyone says “she’s done” or some variant of that phrase?

        Why have I never heard anyone, ever say “Hillary is going down.”?

        1. Because I believe nobody has ever said that.

    2. I think the whole proggie overreaction to the Letter to Iran is cover for, and pushback against, this. My derpbook is full of “treason” posts from people who should know better; it’s like being trapped with Anne Coulter.

      1. “it’s like being trapped with Anne Coulter”

        -1 gnawed off leg

        *offers conciliatory roll of foil*

        1. Awww, you still care. Thanks, Big Guy.

    3. Wait, I thought it was Monica that went down?

    4. Tricky Dick in a pantsuit.

  22. Related to beer thread last night, someone said “too many IPAs”.

    In 2014, 23.1% of craft beer sales in supermarkets were IPAs. That is by far the biggest category. Seasonal is 2nd at around 17%.

    That is why everyone makes an IPA or six.

    1. I missed a beer thread? Oh well.

      1. I missed it too, it was a beer subthread at most, I forgot which article had it.

    2. There are still too many IPAs.

      I’m completely sick of hop bombs. They’re terrible, and they’re proliferating. I don’t get it.

      I’m just switching to less beer, more Whisk(e)y.

      1. There are literally thousands of beers that arent IPAs. Drink them.

        Its still only 23%. That leaves 77% for you to choose from.



        1. I dont care for stouts. Lots of craft stouts are made. The bars I hang at have lots of stouts on tap.

          I drink from the other choices, it isnt that hard.

          I have seen bars do “black outs” where nearly every tap handle is a stout. Ive never seen a “hop out”. Ive also seen sour takeovers, which I love, but never an IPA takeover. They probably exist, but I havent seen it.

        2. If the available beers are increasingly IPAs…

          One place I go has 10 beers on tap – half end up IPAs, and they crowd out other selections.

          1. A bar with only 10 taps carrying 5 of anything is stupid.

            1. I don’t think it’s just about IPAs. Some beer companies hop everything they make. Rouge hops the shit out of their Chocolate Stout. Allagash over-hops their witbeer.

              I personally think the hop bomb phase might finally be passing. Sours seem to be all over the place, which pleases me.

              1. Stouts are typically hoppy to offset the sweetness. How hoppy varies, of course.

                And the “Texas Brown” was an 80s homebrew thing to hop the shit out of brown ales, which Im not a fan of. I love hoppy beers, I love browns, I dont care for hoppy browns.

                Except for the Kentucky Hop Brown from Apocalypse.

              2. Sours seem to be all over the place, which pleases me.

                I haven’t seen many in my neck of the woods. I’ve thus far been unimpressed, but I’m open to trying some – any recommendations?

                1. any recommendations?

                  Anything from Cantillon.

                  I prefer their Gueuze. But its a “learn to swim via jumping in the deep end” sour beer.

                  And they aint cheap.

                2. Duchesse De Bourgogne (flanders red ale) — also not cheap

                  Drie Fonteinen (gueuze) — not too pricey

                  1. Petrus Aged Pale Ale (oud bruin) — not too pricey

                  2. Duchesse De Bourgogne is so, so tasty.

                3. Cuv?e Des Jacobins Rouge is a favorite of mine. Duchesse De Bourgogne as well.

                  A Gose would be a good starter style. Rittterguts is fairly easy to find.

                  1. Cuv?e Des Jacobins Rouge is one of the most sour things I have ever put in my mouth 😉

                    It’s great, but it has real pucker power.

                    1. It was on tap at a place near me not too long ago. Heavenly.

                      Kasteel Rouge is a tart take in the same vein, instead of a sour one.

                  2. http://www.thrillist.com/drink…..craft-beer

                    Gose. You’ve heard of Gose. It’s German, a sour beer. Pronounced “Go-zuh,” like the thing that wrecked New York in Ghostbusters. Reported to be between 200 and 1,000 years old, it’s sour and salty, amber, a low-ABV session beer (which means it both tastes bad and won’t get you sauced). Over the last year, it has turned up in most of the stories forecasting beer trends, and so far, those stories appear to have been correct. I had drank Gose in the past, but I went to three craft beer stores today in search of more varieties to cement (or rebut) my opinion, and the first two were completely sold out. The third had two left. I bought them, I drank them. Served warmer, they tasted like spicy sweat. Served cold, they tasted like cold sweat. One, the vaunted Original Ritterguts Gose, which got a BeerAdvocate score of 90, left an aftertaste that simply could not be effaced. Not by wine, or stout, or, in the trough of my desperation, sausage.

                    Someone’s not a fan 😉

      2. I love a good IPA. The doubles are generally a bit much.

        I’ve noticed that pilsners are now becoming less harder to find and that’s good. I’d still like to see some more interesting browns.

        1. I see you founded some pilsners this morning.

          1. They made him ‘less harder’.

        2. I like doubles and triples.

          But I also eat unsweetened chocolate.

      3. I’m just switching to less beer, more Whisk(e)y

        Always an acceptable course of action, aye!

      4. I don’t mind a good citric IPA…

        but something like Bell’s Two-Hearted Ale is just too much. I can drink one glass but have no interest in a second. It is a very “bright” beer.

        These days I’m more of a Gin & Tonic drinker.

        1. “These days I’m more of a Gin & Tonic drinker”

          +1 cane with which to thrash the servants

          1. Got to keep the limes coming in from the wogs. Chin-chin.

        2. 2 hearted is literally my favorite beer in the universe.

          1. I’ll add that I used to be very anti-hop but decided to try and expand my palette – I’m starting to like hoppy beers but 2 Hearted is still too much for me.

          2. Try Ballast Point Sculpin. I like it much more than Two Hearted (and I’m a michigan guy). LH, you should be hopping on Perrin’s grapefruit IPA. Really good.

            1. I have to agree – Ballast Point Sculpin is superb.

            2. Perrin’s Grapefruit IPA is awesome – on my top 5 beers.

  23. How Chilean Brokers Are Getting Rich Selling Derivatives Banned in the U.S

    It’s noon inside the offices of ForexChile in Santiago, and dozens of salespeople are working the phones, talking up investments linked to everything from Facebook stock to copper futures. They hold out tantalizing prospects to those on the other end of the line: potential returns of 20 percent, 30 percent, even 40 percent.

    Familiar, yes — and illegal if this were the U.S. Because what these people are selling are neither stocks nor bonds nor futures nor funds. They are offering contracts for difference, financial derivatives that are off-limits to retail investors in the U.S. and highly regulated elsewhere.

    1. I am starting to wonder if Chile isn’t the place to retire or run too if things continue to go down hill here. They have beautiful scenery, gorgeous women and seem to have some brains. Pinochet murdered all of the socialists. That is really tough medicine but it did seem to curb the infestation.

      1. I had a spanish teacher who lived under pinochet. Said it wasn’t that bad if you weren’t a communist and than had a laugh about it. I think he may have been one of the trigger men.

      2. They have skiing.

  24. I’ve heard some strange things about the shooting.First it was a rifle and the cops were’fighting for their lives’ in the hospital.Now its a pistol and the cops were released not long after. It’s a terrible crime ,yet some seem to make it what it is not.A pistol form 125 yards away is a hope and poke.To say anyone was targeted is utter bull crap.Were the cops the target,could be,it could be someone wanting to stir the pot.

    1. Next thing we hear it’ll be a BB gun that missed the cans it was actually aimed at and kept going.

      1. Well,a .40 cal pistol at 125 yards is not prof of someone with ‘training’ like some news reports claimed.

    2. The pistol at over 100 yards is ridiculous. Unless you’re shooting something like this, you can’t hit anything.

      1. Oh,you’ll hit something. I shot a arrow in the air…..

        1. She fell to earth near Berkeley Square

      2. I beg to differ. I can easily hit you at 100 yards with any number of pistols. I am not even close to this good, but Imagine this guy putting you in his sights:


        1. With a snub-nose? Holy crap.

        2. This was 125,in the dark and they said down hill. You have very good skills.How many people can make your shots?I have killed deer at 95 yards with a slug gun,few can make that shot.I also have shot doubles on many types of water and wild fowl.That takes lots of practice..Some idiot that wants to take pot shots I’m no buying. He also most likely took quick shots and ran.Not a calm aim. Most people can’t shoot for crap and I include cops in that statement.

        3. I beg to differ. I can easily hit you at 100 yards with any number of pistols.

          I’m glad someone called this.

          I don’t know the details of the shots, but human-sized, 100 yds., potentially any chosen position, *multiple shots*… you’d have to be a speed balled out of your brain to *miss*.

          At the very least, I see only weak sauce for any potential Clint Eastwood film (old or new).

          1. Yes. And the shooter was shooting at a group of people, not an individual.

        4. An FN 5.7 is highly accurate out to about 150yds or so I’ve seen demonstrated on YT.

          I have personally taken an Army Berretta 9mm and consistently put rounds into a 1 ft circle at 50M.

          I have a Taurus Slimline (PT-740) that is worthless at about 10 yards.

          Different guns have different capabilities.

      3. I can hit a human sized piece of tin with my .45 from 100 yards with about half my shots. I’ve also got a .22 Ruger target pistol that’s even more accurate. Of course if someone was just firing into a crowd, the accuracy really isn’t an issue.

        1. I’ve got a Star .380 that I can’t hit the broad side of a barn with. Been looking for a good revolver to replace it with.

          1. My Grand Dad had a S&W 357 that was pretty accurate.

        2. I think this was a poke,hope and run situation .

  25. ‘A new degree of pettiness’: Why is the U.S. really sanctioning Venezuela?
    While the administration claims Venezuela poses a dire threat to our security, the facts show a different reality

    A number of reporters seemed shocked on Monday when President Obama’s Executive Order imposing sanctions on Venezuela cited a threat to the United States to justify the action. “I, BARACK OBAMA ? find that the situation in Venezuela, including the Government of Venezuela’s erosion of human rights guarantees, persecution of political opponents, curtailment of press freedoms, use of violence and human rights violations and abuses in response to antigovernment protests, and arbitrary arrest and detention of antigovernment protestors, as well as the exacerbating presence of significant public corruption, constitutes an unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States,” the Executive Order reads, “And I hereby declare a national emergency to deal with that threat.”

    How could Venezuela, struggling with the effects of the crash in oil prices, post an “extraordinary threat to the national security of the United States”?

    1. How could Venezuela, struggling with the effects of the crash in oil prices, post an “extraordinary threat to the national security of the United States”?

      It is a reasonable question except that the person asking it no doubt think poverty is main cause of wars. The other issue of course is that it never occurs to this person that just because the people are starving doesn’t mean the government is. I bet the Venezuelan government has money to make whatever mischief it wants. And of course, the fact that they are desperate for more of other people’s money makes doing some side work for the Iranians or Chinese that much more attractive.

      1. Venezuela also has a long history of subsidizing Marxist guerrillas in neighboring countries. Of course, that’s a threat to Uruguay, not to America.

        I agree with their point that Venezuela poses no threat to the United States so these sanctions are ludicrous, but I notice that it’s somewhat ironic that liberals still criticize people who were against the South African sanctions during apartheid, even though South Africa posed no threat to America. I literally just read a Thomas Frank article attacking Republicans who were opposed to those sanctions.

        If sanctions against South Africa were legitimate because of the racist apartheid state, then surely sanctions against Venezuela are legitimate because they fund South American terrorist organizations, have driven most of the Jews out of the country, and are generally abusing their own citizenry.

        I’m against any such sanctions, just noting that these people seem to have an oddly hypocritical view of sanctions.

        1. “have driven most of the Jews out”

          There’s your magic sentence. Progs don’t mind this.

          1. The Jews really are the canary in the coal mine. Whenever things get hard for the Jews, you need to figure it is going to get hard for everyone else shortly thereafter.

        2. Yes they do. They waged war against Columbia with their support of the FARC.

        3. This season of The Americans has dredged up that issue with some of the people I know. It’s amazing how much some people hate Reagan. It’s fine to think he was wrong on the sanctions, but I’ve had people tell me that there was NO reason for him to oppose them. Other than racism.

          Mind you, this is all related to a show that has communist murderers badmouthing American policy towards SA.

    2. The EO cited seven individuals from VZ who were pulling ISIS style stunts in Central America.

      1. Oh no, a whole 7 people. Did they have any connection to the Venezuelan government? Because there are a far more members of Mexican drug cartels pulling ‘Isis style stunts’ (read: decapitations) but we haven’t imposed sanctions on Mexico.

        1. C’mon Irish – it is different when TEH LIGHTWORKER finds something “threatening”…oh, and BOOOOOSH!

        2. 1. Antonio Jos? Benavides Torres: Commander of the Strategic Region for the Integral Defense (REDI) of the Central Region of Venezuela’s Bolivarian National Armed Forces (FANB) and former Director of Operations for Venezuela’s Bolivarian National Guard (GNB).

          2. Gustavo Enrique Gonz?lez L?pez: Director General of Venezuela’s Bolivarian National Intelligence Service (SEBIN) and President of Venezuela’s Strategic Center of Security and Protection of the Homeland (CESPPA).

          3. Justo Jos? Noguera Pietri: President of the Venezuelan Corporation of Guayana (CVG), a state-owned entity, and former General Commander of Venezuela’s Bolivarian National Guard (GNB).

          link failed

          1. What ‘Isis style stunts’ were they pulling and if it was in Central America what connection does this have to America? Do you have a link to the actual actions they were taking?

            1. “El Supremo”, also known as Don Julian Maria de Jesus de Alvarado y Moctezumo sailed the seas near Venezuela in a threatening manner!

  26. “A Vicenza supporter has told in court how he discovered his wife in a scene of adultery, after leaving a football match early.

    The Serie B side’s fixture against Empoli in May 2013 was suspended for 30 minutes after crowd disorder, but the impatient Vicenza fan simply decided to give up on the 5-0 scoreline and unwittingly return home to a devastating sight.”

    “…It is not currently known whether the man discovered under the sheets was an Empoli fan or not.”

    Love that last line.


  27. Ezra Klein: Hillary Clinton isn’t running unopposed. She’s just crushing the competition.

    Bernstein’s argument is related to the “invisible primary” theory of presidential elections. Hillary Clinton, he says, “has earned the support of the bulk of Democratic party actors, and gained the acquiescence of other Democrats who aren’t as enthusiastic about her.” The result is that the Democratic Party’s “perfectly viable other candidates either dropped out or never seriously considered the race.”

    Perhaps a slightly clearer way to put it is this: in the invisible primary, when the contest is as much a draft as it is a campaign, Clinton is “opposed” by essentially every Democrat fit for the presidency. If the party’s powerbrokers didn’t want to support Clinton and instead really wanted Sen. Michael Bennet to run, or Gov. Andrew Cuomo to lead the field, they would be working toward that outcome. Instead, they’re lining up behind Clinton. In this telling, Clinton isn’t winning by default. She’s winning by winning. The absence of competition is the product of Clinton’s strong, successful campaign to win over Democratic Party elites.

    1. Tough to think of a bigger idiot than Ezra Klein.

      1. Thomas Frank?

        Jonathan Haidt?

        Joe Biden?

      2. Friedman or the Krug? They don’t even bother making dumb arguments. They just spew incoherent garble.

      3. I’m with WTF. All those others seem to be capable of some sort of guile or triangulation. Klein is just a grinning idiot, spewing out whatever his masters tell him. Tony and shrike are wily geniuses compared to Klein, they just didn’t lick the right asshole at the right time to get the court moron job.

        1. OK, I think you have the best sum up yet – “the court moron”.

          I will concede that the title belongs to Klein.

          1. They feed him from the discarded trenchers of the king himself.

    2. Wow. Just wow. Klein’s ability to deny reality and lick the boots of his superiors really is epic.

      1. It truly is breathtaking.

    3. What? Look, two things. First, it’s actually still a bit early–even Clinton hasn’t formally announced yet.

      Second, the media can only play this game for so long–once other candidates formally announce and start campaigning, they’ll have to pay attention, especially now, given the gravity of her latest scandal.

    4. Wait…. Michael Bennet!?

    1. The BBC is really letting itself go.

    2. Are those a thing?

  28. “Appearing on Jimmy Kimmel Live, President Obama called for the arrest of the shooters, who have not yet been found.”

    If this doesn’t scream serious statesmanship I don’t know what does.

  29. Ferguson Supporters Celebrate Shooting of Police Officers
    “Best day Ferguson has had in years”


    Could it possibly be that the cops have earned this hatred as a result of their mistreatment of the people they swore to serve and protect?

    Of course not.

    1. It looks like Ferguson has become a focal point for years of police abuse and over-reach all across the country. Sucks for them but they did volunteer and no one is making them stay.

    1. I…just..um…

      *shakes head and slowly walks away*

      1. Switzy…..thanks for the translation of English Pock.

        Damn near half a century after the fact, I learn what that means thanks to one of the posters at Reason.com.

        I think I’d rather spend time with the regulars on this blog than with the finest people in the world.

        1. No worries – I am always fascinated by some bit of German sneaking into the everyday. My wife knew here great grandmother as Comb Comb….because she would gesture her to come over and use the German “Kom, kom” out of old habit.

    2. Good Lord. I’ve heard about this–cat juggling! Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Good Father, could there be a God that would let this happen?

      1. +1 Jerk

  30. 13 politicians who criticized Bill Clinton for his sex scandal had sex scandals of their own. Can you
    name them? Here are the clues:

    Big List of Sex Scandal Hypocrites

    1. He resigned his position as chairman of the Senate Republican Policy Committee on June 16, 2009, after admitting he had an affair with the wife of a close friend, both of whom were working on his campaign.Under investigation, he then resigned his Senate seat 20 months early. In 1998, He had called for President Bill Clinton (D) to resign after admitting to sexual acts with Monica Lewinsky.

    2. He took over the House seat of a former who resigned in 1999 following revelations of an extramarital affair. At the time, she stated, “I think [his] stepping down makes a very powerful argument that (Bill) Clinton should resign as well….” His’ name was then discovered in the address book of the DC Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey.

    3. He pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct following his arrest in a Minneapolis airport men’s room in June 2007, on a charge of lewd conduct. He had previously stated that “people already know that Bill Clinton is a bad boy?a naughty boy.”

    1. Why, #3 was US Senator Larry Craig (R-Idaho). “Toe tap”.

      1. Tonio wins a point!

        Here is your prize

        1. Gah!

        2. [Using that tone that June Cleaver always used when speaking to Eddie Haskell] Why, thank you, Derpy.

    2. You do know that Clinton’s scandal was for perjuring himself under a sexual harassment legal standard that he supported politically? Sex just was what he perjured himself over.

    3. So people that resigned following the revelation of their sexual impropriety are hypocrites for demanding an official resign following the revelation of his sexual impropriety?

      1. If you are guilty of X, it’s a bit hypocritical criticize someone who is also guilty of X.

        Pot, kettle, etc.

        1. I labor under the assumption that literally everyone does it. The criticism stems from allowing yourself to get caught. “Hey asshole, don’t ruin it for the rest of us.”

          1. If Clinton had said, “Hey, I messed up, but have you seen my old lady?” That would have went away in a week.

  31. Could Scott Walker Be the Next Calvin Coolidge?

    Two similar events were of seminal importance in the careers of Coolidge and Reagan. In 1919, as governor of Massachusetts, Coolidge was confronted with a bitter police strike in Boston. He labored for weeks to avoid a showdown, but when the police union leaders called a strike, Coolidge acted decisively. He issued the following terse statement that resonated around the country, swiftly ended the strike, and catapulted Coolidge onto the national stage: “There is no right to strike against the public safety by anybody, anywhere, anytime.” When faced with a crippling strike by the air-traffic controllers in 1981, Reagan quoted Coolidge’s statement and acted similarly. Both men rejected the conventional wisdom of their political advisers, and history proved them right. Coolidge and Reagan did not require public-opinion polls to tell them what to think or how to act.

    Here the parallels are obvious. Walker’s famous showdown with the public unions elevated him onto the national stage. The liberal press was confident that this confrontation with the unions would be the end of Walker, but the Wisconsin voters felt differently. The manner in which Coolidge, Reagan, and Walker handled their respective crises won the admiration of the American people.

    1. We can certainly hope. Mr. we could use a man like Calvin Coolidge again. If that were to happen and he fixed the mess Obama is going to leave the way Coolidge fixed the one Wilson left, Walker would of course be written out of history like Coolidge has been. And Obama’s sorry record on civil rights, the economy, corruption and lawlessness will be written out of history like Wilson’s racism and tyranny has been.

      1. Silent Cal’s my personal favorite president. It’s hard to imagine any candidate nowadays having the nickname “Silent.”

        1. My favorites, post 20th Century are Coolidge, Eisenhower, and Reagan. Eisenhower’s worst sin was building the interstate highway system, really. Meanwhile, he ended the Korean War, kept World War III from breaking out at a time when it really could have, kept the military under control and in check, and was willing to federalize the national guard to enforce the Supreme Court’s rulings in Little Rock, which took real guts and showed a real commitment to the rule of law. I wish there were anyone today running around with Eisenhower’s good sense and judgement. Imagine how different things would have been had he been President on 911. He wouldn’t have panicked or embraced a bunch of nation building bullshit but he would have responded such that no one would have dreamed of trying that again.

          1. I think meddling in the 1956 Suez Crisis was the worst thing Ike did.

            1. I disagree. He did the right thing there. The French and thE English were just trying to steal the place from Egypt. Fuck them.

      2. I see what you did there, Meathead.

      3. Coolidge was the second-best president. Jefferson was the best. Grover Cleveland was third and fourth. There has been no fifth-best president.

  32. 4. He was elected in 1994 and had voted to impeach Bill Clinton for the Lewinsky scandal. He himself had a long-term affair with his chief of staff while he was married. He married her after his divorce.

    5. His affair with a 23-year-old intern was exposed after she disappeared. Her body was found a year later and in 2008, an illegal immigrant with no relation to him was charged with her murder. He had often demanded that Bill Clinton “come clean” about his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

    6. He conducted an extramarital sexual affair with a married woman who had three children from her marriage. He was 41 years old and married when the affair occurred and admitted to the affair in 1998, describing the relationship as a “youthful indiscretion”.The revelation of this affair took place as he was spearheading the impeachment hearings of President Bill Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky scandal,

    7. He resigned from the House after admitting in 1998 to having had an affair with his intern while he was married to his second wife, and at the same time he was leading the impeachment of Bill Clinton for perjury regarding an affair with his intern Monica Lewinsky.

    1. And #5 was US Congressman Gary Condit (D-California). However, important to remember:

      The circumstances surrounding Levy’s death were unclear for eight years. On March 3, 2009, D.C. authorities obtained a warrant to arrest Ingmar Guandique, an illegal immigrant from El Salvador who had already been convicted of assaulting two other women in Rock Creek Park around the time of Levy’s disappearance. Prosecutors stated that Guandique had attacked and tied up Levy in a remote area of the park and left her to die of dehydration or exposure. In November 2010, Guandique was convicted of murdering Levy; he was sentenced in February 2011 to 60 years in prison.

      1. Tonio is on FIRE!

        For your prize, you can either have your butt cheeks superglued together, or spend an evening slow dancing with Al Gore.

        1. I…I…don’t know which to choose. Couldn’t I just be shot while trying to escape?

          1. “Tonio longs for the release that Death will bring!”

  33. Former Israeli president endorses Herzog as recent polls show that Bibi the Rat’s political stunt fails.

    Herzog said earlier on Thursday that in light of the latest polls that put his party several mandates ahead of the Likud, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has “displayed severe panic and returned to the rhetoric of fear and threats in recent days.”

    A series of internal polls taken this week by the Zionist Union by former prime minister Ariel Sharon’s pollster, Kalman Geyer, found the Zionist Union leading the Likud by five to seven Knesset seats ? the Zionist Union with as many as 28 and as few as 24 seats, and the Likud with as many as 21 and as few as 18.

    Speaking in an interview with Army Radio on Thursday, Herzog discussed the possibility that President Reuven Rivlin would select him to form the next coalition following the March 17 election. “I have spoken with many of the party leaders and understand well that things said before the election and are not necessarily honored after the election. I am sure of my ability to form a good government.”


    1. Because the US interfering with and trying to influence foreign elections used to be a bad thing, until your hero Obama started doing it. It will be a bit ironic if it turns out that the only election Obama managed to successfully influence turns out to be an Israeli one. In the US, he has done nothing but help his opponents get elected and his own party retreat to minority status.

    2. I find Weigels’ persistent characterization of Bibi as a rat disgustingly familiar. I am also not surprised. Progtards gonna round up and corral their enemies.

      1. He is a warmongering asshole who is trying to use the gullible US government to do his fighting for him. Obama is one of the few not falling for his lies and victim act.

        1. Keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’
          Though the trains are swollen
          Keep them jews a-rollin’
          Through rain and wind and weather
          Hell-bent for cleansin’
          Wishin’ my frauline was by my side.
          All the things I’m lovin’
          Ditches, showers, and ovens
          Are waiting at the end of line.

          source: http://www.weigel.com

      2. You know who else compared Jews to rats…

        1. Walt Disney?

          1. Mickey Mousevitz?

        2. King Sennacherib of Assyria?

    3. Theoretically, some politicians may be more concerned about policy than they are about any particular opinion poll.

      Also, not everything is about Obama.

    4. … Bibi the Rat …

      Nazi Approved Art:

      Nazi filmmakers also turned their cameras on their
      victims, methodically reducing the popular perception of Jews to
      that of vermin, fit only for extermination. The Nazi propaganda
      film, Der ewige Jude (The Eternal Jew), followed maps showing the
      migrations of Jews with scenes of teaming rats. The film’s
      narration drives home the association:

      “[The Jews] followed the culture-bearing and creative waves of
      German colonization of the East, until finally they found a
      gigantic new untapped reservoir of space in Poland and Eastern
      Europe . . . they spread from Eastern Europe like an irresistible
      tide, flooding the towns and nations. . . . Wherever rats appear
      they bring ruin, by destroying mankind’s goods and foodstuffs. They
      are cunning, cowardly, and cruel, and are found mostly in large
      packs. Among the animals, they represent the rudiment of an
      insidious and underground destruction–just like the Jews among
      human beings.”

  34. 8. He called for the resignation of Bill Clinton and when his own extramarital affairs were leaked, his wife urged him to resign and urge Clinton to do likewise.

    9. He had an affair while married. He had been the first lawmaker in either chamber to call for Clinton’s resignation due to the Lewinsky affair. He lost a primary challenge less than three years after the impeachment proceedings.

    10. Dan Burton, Representative (R-IN), a combative critic of the Clinton/Lewinsky affair, admitted that he had fathered a child out of wedlock.(1998)[75]

    11. She aggressively called for the resignation of Bill Clinton, and admitted to her own six-year affair with a married rancher during the 1980s.

    12. This champion of the Christian Coalition, once said “We can’t forgive what occurred between the President and Lewinsky.” He was arrested for soliciting a prostitute for oral sex in his car.

    13. In 1995 speaking of the then-recent affairs of Republican Robert Packwood and the unfolding affair of Democrat Bill Clinton He stated “No one, regardless of what party they serve, no one, regardless of what branch of government they serve, should be allowed to get away with these alleged sexual improprieties….” In 1998 Vanity Fair printed an article detailing an affair which he himself had in 1983 which produced a child. Before publication he admitted to fathering a son with a former state employee.

    1. woops! I forgot to scrub one of the names.

      1. I got one! #10 is Dan Burton. I kick ass.

  35. I have found the mullet capital of the world.

    It is Perth, here in Western Australia.

    Mullets, crystal meth, skimpies, and high wages. Kentucky meets Alberta but with more sunshine.

    1. I hear it takes 25.23455 light years for fashion to reach Australia. Is this true my Aussie friends?

      1. I believe that it may take 30 light years, or more …. Remember, ABBA is still the most popular musical group in Oz.

      2. Ahem, a light year is a measure of *distance,* thank you very much.

        1. Ok, parsecs then.

  36. Riddle me this: why do politicians always wear suits?

    Yo, interview’s over- you got the job.

    1. Because most of them are dorks and a suit covers it up to some degree. Put Obama in a suit and he looks like a serious person. Put him in casual clothes and he looks like the unbelievable dork that he is. Other than Ronald Reagan, who was an actor and had actor looks even in his 70s, and Gerald Ford who was a former all American football player all of our Presidents have been either outright dorks like Obama or slubby looking old guys like Clinton or Carter or aging frat guys like both of the Bushes. In every case except for Reagan and Ford, casual was not a good look for them.

      1. I guess a better question is: why does wearing a suit fool so many people into thinking someone is smarter, stronger, etc than they really are?

        1. “They’re gonna *like* the way you look.”

          Yep, it’s amazing what you can get away with be wearing a suit.

          Or so I’ve heard.

          1. I have issued orders that have been immediately obeyed by virtue of being the IT guy in a tie. I don’t know why it works.

        2. I don’t know but it does. When I was living in Texas one of the morning DJs in Austin did an experiment where he wore a full suit and tie everywhere he went for an entire month. He said he couldn’t believe how differently and with how much more respect people treated him. For a long time I rejected the idea that appearances matter. Now I understand that while they shouldn’t matter they do. How you look and how you present yourself to people does more to shape their opinion of you than anything else. It is just how people are.

          1. I work with contractors every day. Showing up in a suit is a no-no, nobody will take you seriously.

            1. It is all about the environment. Show up on a construction site in a suit and everyone assumes you are some accountant or lawyer and can be dismissed. In an office, however, a suit makes people take you seriously whether you deserve to be taken seriously or not.

              The Military is an entire organization built around the power of appearances. Everyone dresses in costume and the respect you get is largely based on what costume you are wearing, how well you wear it and that you are in an appropriate costume. Show up in the field in a class A and people will think you are an idiot. Show up wearing a field uniform in a meeting where the commander is in class A everyone will think you are an idiot. Wear even the appropriate costume poorly and everyone will think you are an idiot.

              1. I heard that the military has these things called CO’s which decide what uniform is to be used, and these things called NCO’s who enforce the decision.

                1. The do Micheal. That is because the whole thing is based on costume and appearances.

          2. I read about a study where people wearing a logo shirt – Ralph Lauren or Nautica, for example – will get better results when interacting with the public – petition, sales, etc – than a no-name brand shirt.

            I’m a Ralph “Lifshitz” Lauren guy just because they make clothing that is actually really comfortable and cut well.

            1. Gah – I hate clothing logos. I guess that’s why nobody takes me seriously.

    2. Suits exude trustworthiness and professionalism.

      And politicians are lacking so severely in those departments, they need all the help they can get.

      1. It works for bankers and used car salesmen too!

      2. Suits exude trustworthiness and professionalism.

        Maybe in some cases. The people in suits I deal with are almost all sales reps. So to me suits just say that you are trying hard to look professional and trustworthy. But I see no reason to assume that is actually the case.

        Maybe I’m weird. When I see a company who has their image all figured out and their official company fonts and colors all slick and consistent I just think they are wasting time and money on crap that doesn’t matter that could be better spent on making their product better or less expensive.

        1. Welcome to my direct manager. The only one of consultants who regularly wears a suit. And also the only one of our consultants who is incapable of doing any actual billable work. But boy does he have the appearance down!

    3. They’re onto the next interview already.

    1. I don’t think she’s a real nun.

      1. Why? Some orders permit makeup.

        1. The jeans.

    2. “”Trivialising the act of prayer was not the intention in any way,” the company added. It also said that it “strongly regrets being accused of things extremely far from our values and our culture””

      The funnest part of people being offensive is when they express shock and dismay that other people are offended.

      “We were pissing on the Bible in a respectful manner, and you’re making it out to be some kind of provocation on our part!”

      They seem to think their audience just fell off the cannoli truck.

      1. Well….uh….they did.

  37. Skimpies. An idea whose time has ‘come’.


    1. Why do you put links up that I dare not click on when I’m at work?

      1. I’m in Australia, and it’s beer drinking time. Your NSFW concerns are not shared by me.

        1. *shakes angry fist*

          have a drink for me, mate.

          1. Glug, glug, gulg …. Ahhhhhhhh

  38. Speaking of NYC teachers, check out this absolutely disgusting theater the union staged for its own benefit yesterday.

    1. And people wonder why police in Ferguson are having to duck sniper fire.

      1. And Bratton (police chief) was making some noises yesterday about wanting to hire more thugs to rule over us. Some peons dared to resist.

        “I think you’re going to see that’s a very small number of people that don’t want more police in New York City,” he said. “Fortunately, nobody’s paying much attention to them.”

        The Post gets a collective thrill up its leg.

        1. The Post and Hot Air, as well as banishment from LGF, are big reasons why I’ve altered my views over the past few years.

          1. The Post – “set cop fellate at…11!”

            Hot Air – “the Right’s answer to Balloon Jiuce – my God, the comments…”

            LGF – didn’t Charles Johnson go full retard?

            1. Yeah, you nailed it, LTC.

    2. And yet the day after those charges were dropped the court took the word of cops in other cases as if they were gospel.

  39. “What’s this? We can’t drink saltwater!”

  40. “Univision host Rodner Figueroa was fired after saying Michelle Obama looked like she belonged on the set of “Planet of the Apes” during an “El Gordo y La Flaca” segment about a makeup artist who makes himself look like female celebrities.”

    People from other cultures don’t necessarily have the same…historical baggage.

    It may be hard for people who came her after the end of Jim Crow to fully grok PC culture, what is and isn’t acceptable, and what the hell it has to do with them anyway.

    I think a lot of these Univision people are wrapped up tight in their own immigrant identity struggle, too. Yeah, welcome to progressive America. Learn the rules or pay the price.

    You thought you were the in-group? Fugget about it. The problem with identity politics is that eventually they run out of other people’s identities to berate.

  41. Interesting facts: opera singers need just the right humidity so they can sing at the right pitch, as singing dries out the vocal cords. The distribution of tonal languages, which are basically sung, correlates to humidity. In dry places like north Africa, tonal languages are rare. But they are common in humid southeast Asia and central Africa.

    1. That is interesting. What exactly is a tonal language? How is it different from a non tonal one? Are European languages tonal? I guess since they come from the dessert Hebrew and Arabic are not tonal languages, correct?

      1. Chinese (Mandarin) is the go-to example for a tonal language. For example, the word ma can mean horse, mother, hemp, or scold. Same consonant and vowel, different tone.


        English has limited tonality- the word at the end of a question is pronounced with a rising pitch.

        Tonal languages are rare in Europe and the Middle East. Hebrew and Arabic are not tonal, but they are in the same language family. Both languages form words from 3 letter roots. Tolkien designed the dwarf language on 3 letter roots.

        1. Ah, okay. So tonal languages are languages that show meaning through tone rather than sound. Thanks.

        2. Cantonese is even more tonal, isn’t it? I know almost nothing about Chinese languages, but when I went to Hong Kong I very quickly learned to distinguish the two main Chinese languages. In Cantonese the tonal part of every syllable is very obvious and clear.

          1. Yes. Cantonese has 6. So does Vietnamese. Thai has 5. Hausa has only 3, but you can hear it in the sing-song quality of Nigerian English:


        3. English does have tonality, but unlike languages that are classified as tonal the pitch does not change the word to another word but changes the emotional “weight” of the word. This is why e-mails, posts and twits can be taken horribly wrong. The sender imagines the sentence using the pitches that convey sarcasm or humor etc, but the reader can and does imagine the sentence with alternative pitching and thus misunderstandings arise.

  42. In case you were wondering, the latest Ferguson shooting is a right wing conspiracy.

    The shots didn’t come from the crowd of protestors, they came from a sniper some distance away. That would be much more typical behavior from someone with a plan than someone who became heated at a protest.

    RW agitators have been hoping for and preparing for and agitating for a ‘race-war’ that they have been touting for decades now. The rhetoric and fear-mongering has increased GREATLY over the last 6 years.

    They were getting frustrated over the peaceful protests, annoyed by Selma remembrances, angry over the DOJ report that unveiled the institutionalized racism more clearly, and they want the country to see the protestors as the ‘dangerous threat’ to white Americans, just like they do. And, of course, Barack Obama is leading the black militants and planning to give YOUR white-man’s property to the blacks.

    1. Occam’s razor, dude – the shooting was obviously coordinated by the Lizard People. Duh!

    2. Just imagine if someone had shot two cops at a Tea Party or anti-tax protest. The media would be going insane right now calling for martial law and mass internment. As it is they are while not ignoring the story covering it as little as possible. Nothing to see here folks just a couple of cops got shot. It had nothing to do with the ongoing protests, the protestors have assured us of that.

      Sadly, this is a very disturbing development. If you want to produce chaos, shooting cops is a good way to do it. Shoot enough of them and the cops will stop showing up to work. The only thing that would protect us at that point is how armed our citizenry is. That is why leftists hate gun ownership so much. If no one had guns, they would be free to terrorize their enemies after they either co-opted or terrorized the cops into compliance.

      1. bingo.

        And why if the shit does hit the fan it will be only in the proggie strongholds. Everyone else will just pop popcorn and watch.

        Leftism poisons everything.

      2. ” If no one had guns, they would be free to terrorize their enemies after they either co-opted or terrorized the cops into compliance.”

        I have actually heard progs say this out loud. Another time, I was commenting on an article about the idea for mini-libertarian state on an ocean platform. The progs were fantasizing about the govt sending in the military to crush them.

        Pretty much any time the open their mouths, I am reminded of this scene:


        1. “I have actually heard progs say this out loud.”

          How did they phrase it?

          1. Something like “if we could just get rid of the guns, we won’t have to worry about the right wingers messing up everything.”

        2. That is how fascism works. The SA in 1920s Germany would just show up and beat the shit out of Jews or anyone who tried to stand up to them and the cops would look the other way. That is how the Nazis were able to take power. They were never that popular but it didn’t matter. They had the power of terror so people stepped aside even if they didn’t support them.

          I have said before that the US being so armed and generally such a violent and dangerous country is what saved us from fascism. There were fascists in the US. And they were no different from the ones in Europe. The difference was if they had tried to pull the shit here the SA pulled in Germany they would have gotten their heads blown off. So they were never able to use terror to obtain political power the way the European fascists were.

          The 60s radicals like the Black Panthers and the Bill Ayers group had the same problem. They so wanted to go out and murder and terrorize people. They couldn’t do it not just because they couldn’t co-opt the cops into looking the other way but because even if they did that the country was armed and could fight back. What chance would Bill Ayers and his little posse or the black panthers have had in a typical American town? None.

          1. If you want to horrify some proggies, just opine that the Holocaust wouldn’t have happened had European Jews been as well armed as Texans in those days.

      3. Just imagine if someone had shot two cops at a Tea Party or anti-tax protest.

        I have a hard time imagining that. Though it only takes one crazy asshole.

  43. For those who just aren’t getting enough derp, I have this multi-derp supplement. It is this thesis of a self-described genius who describes his theory of everything. He also worked as a bouncer.


    In effect, syndiffeonesis is a metalogical tautology amounting to self-resolving paradox. The paradox resides in the coincidence of sameness and difference, while a type-theoretic resolution inheres in the logical and mathematical distinction between them, i.e. the stratificative dimensionof an infocognitive lattice.

    The whole thing reads like the Sokal hoax paper.

    1. It reads like a college psuedo-intellectual bong party.

    2. If I beat my readers to death with big words, they’ll eventually assume I understand them and think I’m smart.

    3. If only he could set it to rap beats and win all the debates.

      1. Goddammit Sugarfree.

        *wipes computer screen with paper towel*

    4. It reads like someone used a Random Phrase Generator.

    5. I remember in college reading Heidegger. If you have never read Heidegger, don’t bother. It is virtually unreadable. His adherents get around this fact by claiming that you have to “get into the language” to understand it. Mostly that means pretending terms Heidegger made up have meaning when the text never really gives them any. The lesson I learned from the experience is whenever some intellectual starts throwing out their own terms of art, it means they are bullshiting and trying to hide that fact by avoiding using words that have plain meaning. So, as soon as I saw the words “syndiffeonesis” and “type-theoretic”, I knew this guy was an idiot using nice sounding terms of art to cover up the fact that he is writing bull shit.

      1. I put Derrida into that same category.

        1. He is even worse. Heidegger I think does make a few interesting and truthful points. His description of perception is spot on. His ideas about how objects reveal themselves over time and can change in nature as that occurs is actually pretty clever. For all of his flaws and there are many, Heidegger did at least make some interesting and truthful observations.

          Derrida in contrast never wrote a single word that wasn’t bullshit in my opinion. Heidegger is at heart still object centered. Even though the phenomena of the object can change and our perception and in effect reality change with it, there is still an object there and a phenomena that is driving our perception. Derrida in contrast seems to embrace the idea of a made up world. Our perceptions drive and create reality not vice versa. So it doesn’t matter what the words say, the reader owns it and can determine its meaning. That idea proved nothing but a license for a bunch of narcissistic morons to use text and literature as a vehicle for their narcissism and stupidity.

          It has been a long time so I may have it wrong but that is how I remember reading both of them.

          1. Yeah, agree on Derrida. And I think you get most of the best points of Heidegger right. Fortunately the classes I took on that kind of philosophy allowed me to focus on Heidegger and ignore the really silly ones like Derrida and Foucault.

            1. Heidegger very much shaped how I think about these things. I would say him, Kierkegaard, Plato, Nietzsche, Tolstoy and Dostoevsky really shaped how I look at philosophical and metaphysical questions. That is a really strange combination of thinkers but I got something I found compelling from all of them, though in the case of Nietzsche it was in the negative. He showed me what the real logical consequences of a godless universe were.

              1. Hey, I’m all for strange combinations. My focus was split among Plato, philosophy of mathematics and aesthetic theory.

              2. Well, he was a boozy beggar who could drink you under the table.

          2. You’re spot on with Derrida. He famously couldn’t even define deconstruction as it is, in essence, a nihilistic view of the world and attacks the meaning of all words, even its own.

            We believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your chonson.

      2. I have a hard time understanding writers like Kant or de Tocqueville because they write in long, complex sentences. I recall people tended to get paid by the word back then.

        Every time I read something like that, I think of the Johann Gambolputty skit from Monty Python.

        1. de Tocqueville writes about practical and comprehensible subjects, so I’m happy to parse his sentences. Kant gets to be too much for me.

      3. I actually quite like Heidegger. Though he is nearly impossible to read. Sometimes complicated technical language is a lot of nonsense. But some things really are that complicated and require distinctions that ordinary language doesn’t make very well. It also doesn’t help that it was translated from German.

        I can quite understand why people wouldn’t give a crap about phenomenology. But I take a particular interest in the question of what it is to be the kind of being that we are, so it is very interesting once you (or I, I guess) figure out what the hell he is trying to say. I was a philosophy major, what do you want?

        1. See my post above. I quite like Heidegger as well. I think, however, think he takes some very good and truthful observations and coaches them in needlessly obtuse and technical language. For that reason I like his mentor Husserl better. Husserl put things in much better and more legible language and made many of the same good points Heidegger did.

          The problem with Heidegger is that once he moved beyond the self and started talking about the larger “sein” he slipped into a lot of romantic nonsense. That is why he was such a Nazi. He loved the idea of there being a larger swell of the German being that the Nazis were attuned to and were bringing forth into being. He ends up denying the individual and subsuming it into a larger swell of history and the universe, which really is just a romantic way of saying the individual is just a tool for the greater good and not an end in itself.

          1. Many people seem to get a very different message from things like phenomenology and existentialism than I do. Including many of the authors of the philosophy. Almost all of the philosophy that I am particularly interested in I see as descriptive far more than prescriptive. Which I suppose is why objectivists don’t appeal to me very much, even if they are in a way right about a lot of things.

            1. A friend of mine and I used to have a joke that you could tell the entire history of western philosophy in a single paragraph. The paragraph would go like this.

              First came the Greeks and they build this enormous and beautiful edifice describing the universe as it is. Then came the Christian scholastics and inserted an alter and worshiped in the edifice. Then came Descartes who pushed the alter aside and replaced it with a telescope and some scientific instruments. Then Hume came and burned the entire place to the ground. Everything afterwards is people crying about it (Schopenhauer), pretending they can rebuild it (Kant) or laughing about it (Nietzsche).

              I always laugh at Objectivists because they seem to stopped reading at Descartes. They missed the memo that the entire place burned down and can’t be rebuilt.

              1. Comments like this are the reason [drink!] I come here.

              2. Heh. That’s pretty good as an overview.

              3. If I recall correctly, Hume was really attacking the basis for knowledge, but he also said it would be foolish not to accept what you perceive.

                1. Yeah, pretty much. Whether or not what you perceive fully or accurately reflects some sort of objective reality, you won’t get very far if you don’t for the most part accept what your perceptions tell you about matters of fact and apparent causal relationships.

                2. Yes he did. He didn’t reject rationality. For example, he didn’t believe that miracles existed. He rejected and I forget the proper term, essentially the primacy of reason and perception. An Inquiry into Human Understanding is really just a very long exposition into “you don’t know what you don’t know”. All I can say with certainty is “this is how it has worked in the past”. I can never say with complete certainty this is how it will work in the future. I can guess and think that it will but I will never know for sure that that is the case because there is always the possibility that there are forces or factors that I have no perception of that are at work and will change things.

                  1. I love Hume. It goes back to my preference for descriptive philosophy. Hume doesn’t tell you what you should do. He just tries to explain what everyone is already doing.

              4. That sounds about right. Ayn Rand didn’t believe anything worthwhile happened after about 1800. Except for her, of course.

                1. It’s sometimes hard to take her very seriously, as she got dogmatic about things for no logical reason. Not that I don’t agree with some of her propositions, but they were hardly the axioms she liked to pretend they were.

      4. Supposedly there was a fad among philosophy grad students to have one student translate Heidegger into French, and to have a second translate back into German to try to extract meaning from the text. Probably apocryphal, but I could see it happening.

        1. I can tell you that it is not uncommon for German students to read it in English since the English translation makes more sense.

    6. He should stick with bouncing.

    7. Military doctrine manuals are also full of puffed-up prose:

      The Infantry’s primary role is close combat, which may occur in any type of mission, in any theater, or environment. Characterized by extreme violence and physiological shock, close combat is callous and unforgiving. Its dimensions are measured in minutes and meters, and its consequences are final. Close combat stresses every aspect of the physical, mental, and spiritual features of the human dimension. To this end, Infantrymen are specially selected, trained, and led.

      Let me try to put that in plain English:

      The job of the infantry is to fight anytime and anywhere by any means. Infantry training is meant to prepare them for this hard task.

      Military manuals look like they were written by 12 year olds trying to sound like grown-ups.

      1. One of the serious problems in planning the fight against American doctrine, is that the Americans do not read their manuals, nor do they feel any obligation to follow their doctrine?
        – Soviet General

        1. To be fair, a newly commissioned lieutenant has probably read those manuals. Then he shows up for his first command. His captain tells him to ignore the half of the manual (because it won’t work in the current mission profile), and his sergeants tell him to ignore the other half (because it doesn’t work at all). If he’s smart, he will listen to both of them.

          1. You would be surprised. People memorize those things. Every high ranking officer I ever worked with, and I worked with a lot of them, could quote doctrine chapter and verse.

      2. Yes it is. If you take out the parts that describe all of the practical stuff like “this is who should be in a TOC” or “this is what a battle captain should do” it all boils down to the infantry should be aggressive, apply a critical mass of force to the enemy’s appropriate weak point and exploit the resulting success through mobility and initiative.

        That is really all it is. Figure out their critical vulnerability, concentrate your forces and kick the living hell out of that vulnerability and then move to exploit it as quickly and effectively as possible.

        1. What did Forrest say? Something like, “Get there firstest with the mostest.”

          1. That pretty much decides most battles. I always liked Marshall’s saying “the enemy has problems the depths of which you have no knowledge” or something to that effect. The point was not to assume that the enemy is going to do everything right and don’t be afraid to take risks and be aggressive.

        2. Find them, pin them down with machine gun fire, send the rest out to look for their flanks and kill them.

          Pretty much modern infantrymen tactics. Biggest call is which flank to target and coordinating with indirect fire.

          1. At the tactical level, for sure. At the operational level it is just a bigger version of that. Fix the enemy and then maneuver around his flanks to either bypass him and cut him off or attack him and destroy him.

      3. Yeah, but that’s nothing compared to philosophers.

      4. Infantrymen are specially selected

        Ha ha ha!

        That’s friday funnies right there.

        1. You have to have some place for the low ASVAB scorers to serve….hey, wait a minute, I started out enlisted infantry!!! NEVERMIND!!!!

          1. Yeah, that’s cooks’ school. The people who later get to order infantrymen around when they’re detailed to KP.

    8. “…the stratificative dimension of an infocognitive lattice.”

      Uh huh….

      *strokes chin*

  44. OT: ENB wrote an article yesterday about abortion restrictions and a certain poster posited that the position of the Libertarian Party on abortion is pro-choice. I pointed out that LP nominees Ron Paul and Bob Barr are both pro-life and Gary Johnson supports some restrictions on abortion.

    So I’m pretty sure it’s possible to be a pro-life libertarian. I support unrestricted abortion before brain activity is detectable.

    So how about that circumcision and deep dish pizza?

    [canned laughter]

    1. Of course you can be a libertarian and be opposed to abortion or take other positions outside of the mainstream of libertarianism, to the extent there is such a thing. Since most libertarians are minarchists of one kind or another, some things are considered as within the purview of a limited government, like murder or other violent crimes. If you draw the line at a different point than others on when it’s okay to kill a developing baby, I don’t think that magically makes you into a Republican or whatever else is being implied.

      One thing about libertarians–we’re a big fucking tent. Not in numbers so much as in the variety of views held. The only litmus test I really think exists is whether you favor a very limited (or no) government. If that’s not the case, you aren’t a libertarian.

    2. Foreskin pizza? Is it like calamari?

  45. The Black Pussy saga continues.

    “I’m not going to change [the name] because a tiny percentage of the population has an issue with it.”

    Black women are insignificant and their lives are meaningless to me. Also, I’m a white man and no one is a better judge of what is and isn’t racist than white men.

    1. The more provocative the name, the lamer the band.

      Note to self: begin plans for a bagpipe-polka-ska fusion band entitled Billy Smegma and the Poop that Took a Pee.

      1. I find them enjoyable. They’re just a bunch of harmless longhairs who love smoking dope.

      2. That is so true. I can’t think of a single good band that doesn’t have an innocuous name. Compare and contrast The Clash with The New York Dolls. The Clash were a real band with real musicians who did serious music. The New York Dolls were a novelty drag act. I don’t care how matter how many aging punk rockers and hipsters claim the Dolls were great, they sucked. They lacked the musical ability of the Clash and made up for it by lacking the fun and pop sensibility of the Ramones. But they had a real provocative name, much more so than the Clash or the Ramones.

        1. New York Dolls doesn’t seem very provocative as a name. Though I agree on your assessment of the bands.

          1. For a band composed entirely of men, that is a pretty provocative name even in 1970s New York.

        2. I’m no New York Dolls fan, but their frontman made one hell of a great live album: Live It Up

          You Tube Link

        3. Phil Spitalny and His All-Girl Orchestra vs. The Sex Pistols?

      3. The best* band I can think of with a name that’s even close to provocative is the Queens of the Stone Age. And that’s not terribly provocative at all. You may be on to something.

        *Best to a normal person. Keep in mind that I like bands with names like Necrophagist.

        1. Most really good bands get their names by accident and without much thought. The Rolling Stones are called that because the needed to give the record company a name and Brian Jones was on the phone being asked for a name and in a moment of desperation saw the song name “Rolling Stone” printed on the back of a Muddy Waters record sitting in front of him. Led Zeppelin got their name from an off handed comment by Keith Moon at the proposal that Moon, John Entwhistle and Jimmy Page form a band. Moon said it would go over like a led zeppelin. The Beatles called themselves that because they thought since Buddy Holly and the Crickets worked, another insect name would work too.

          Basically, if you put a lot of thought and effort into the right name, its because you are not that interested in making music and are more interested in image.

          1. I suppose that is probably largely true. But it is worth pointing out that most shitty bands have boring names too.

          2. I once was involved in naming a band (they never made it big). I was just there to do the art on their gig posters, so they needed a name. The band members could not agree on any of the hundreds of proposed names. So I said, “You guys should just call yourselves Indecision.” And they did.

        2. Turbonegro.

    2. I daresay that most people pronouncing and pontificating on race are, in fact, white folk.

    3. I remember reading some interview with Gibby Haynes where he was asked if he named the band just to be offensive. He said no and if he had wanted just to be offensive he would have named it “fuck you, shit up your mother’s pussy”.

      “Black pussy” isn’t so offensive. I was expecting much worse when I saw the headline you posted yesterday initially. No appreciation for irony or a punk aesthetic or attitude.

      1. I think it is offensive.

        Why don’t these guys own their offensiveness? I mean, shocking people is their reason d’etre! But they act all shocked and stuff when people mention that their provocation/insult is provocative/insulting.

        1. Because admitting you’re offensive or racist or sexist or other unPC things is like confessing to consorting with Teh Devil and thus a suitable target for the Inquisition and burning at the stake. But I will admit I am both racist and sexist. I sometimes make decisions based solely on race and sex. For example, when visiting my friend who lives on the South Side of Chicago and I’m outside smoking after dark, if I see a group of black teenagers, I go back inside. When I’m asking for help moving furniture, I automatically exclude my female friends.

  46. Congresswoman to FBI: make GamerGate priority

    Congress’ next target: the often-vitriolic online movement known as Gamergate. On Tuesday Rep. Katherine Clark (D-Mass.), backed by the National Organization for Women and the Human Rights Campaign, asked her House colleagues to join her in demanding tighter enforcement of cyber-stalking and online harassment laws.

    1. Please use government to silence our enemies and any dissent!!

  47. I’ve made $64,000 so far this year working online and I’m a full time student. I’m using an online business opportunity I heard about and I’ve made such great money. It’s really user friendly and I’m just so happy that I found out about it. Heres what I’ve been doing,


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