The Genie Killed My Girlfriend
If you're going to blame the deed on a supernatural beastie, you have to do it right

If the East ever perfects its own version of the courtroom drama—Piri Mason, say—it will surely consist of dramatic moments like this: Koksal Sahin, a Turkish man accused of murdering his girlfriend, stealing her valuables, and fleeing from Istanbul to Izmir, pleaded not guilty this week and offered the court revelatory testimony of what actually happened. "As far as I understood," Mr. Sahin told the court, "a genie attacked her."
According to the defendant, when this genie saw an Islamic amulet that was hanging from Mr. Sahin's neck, the malevolent entity went berserk. Mr. Sahin realized what was happening because his late girlfriend was "saying something in Arabic" while attacking herself. The genie not only caused Mr. Sahin's girlfriend to stab herself in the stomach and cut her own throat, he testified, but it also grabbed Mr. Sahin himself and flew him off to Izmir, where he found himself registered as a guest in a hostel, apparently in possession of the girlfriend's valuables.
But Mr. Sahin's story is not as ironclad as it may seem. While several aspects of the story are consistent with the behavior of genies—or djinn—according to traditional lore and even some judicial precedent, others are previously unrecorded. Djinn are certainly believed to be able to possess human beings and to influence their behavior, and they have a long mischievous history of flying people about and depositing them in distant places, especially when the humans are asleep. And while cases of djinn killing people may exist in the lore, instances of djinn murdering their own human hosts unprovoked are highly unusual.
What Mr. Sahin really needs, however, is not so much a better story as to have his case tried in a court applying sharia law, where at least some djinn-based cases have been listened to attentively. For example, last year a court in Dubai heard a divorce case brought by a man whose wife refused to have sex with him. Her family eventually explained that, despite numerous attempted exorcisms, she remained possessed by a djinn. The husband not only wanted a divorce, but also asked to be excused from paying any divorce allowance on the grounds that he had been defrauded.
"The woman and her family cheated my client," the man's lawyer told the Dubai Sharia Court. "They should have been honest and clear about the fact that the wife was possessed by a djinn. He was only told about the djinn after the problem escalated. The woman does not deserve any allowance." The judge granted the divorce but didn't like the djinn story and ordered a payment. An appeals court, however, canceled the allowance, agreeing that the husband should indeed have been told about the djinn.
An interesting case in the Saudi courts in 2010 involved a corrupt judge who admitted to taking bribes but who argued that he was acting under the spell of a djinn who made him do it. In fact, the accused judge even offered the djinn's own testimony as part of the defense, as gathered by an exorcist alleged to be able to communicate with such entities. That is, the exorcist interviewed the defendant, and the djinn allegedly confessed out of the defendant's mouth.
While this defendant could have taught Mr. Sahin, the Turk accused of murder, how to set up a djinn-based defense, the prosecuting attorney wasn't having it. He objected to djinn-hearsay; as the press account put it, no judicial sentence should be based on a "jinn's allegations." He even demanded that the court subpoena the djinn itself. Apparently, the prosecutor wanted (or pretended that he wanted) to establish in open court whether the djinn was Islamic or not (some are believers, according to lore; some aren't), because that might have affected the admissibility of the djinn's testimony. Unfortunately, there are no follow-up reports concerning actions by either the court or the djinn.
There are murder cases involving djinn as well, but these seem to be cases of exorcisms gone wrong, the equivalent of Western demon-possession murders where determined Christian exorcists end up killing the possessed victim.
There are cases of possession in Judaism, too, involving restless spirits of the dead (dybbukim) who take up residence in the bodies of young women—and wonder-working tzaddikim who exorcize them. These cases rarely attract attention outside the closed religious communities where they occur. In 1999, however, a video-taped Israeli exorcism achieved real notoriety, with the result that thousands of people suddenly were convinced that their relatives were also possessed and greatly in need of exorcising. Moroccan Jews, for their part, have a different possession tradition influenced by Sufi mysticism, Ethiopian Jews have a possessing entity called the Zar, and so forth. Possessing spirits are everywhere, it seems; the problem is getting them to testify in open court.
That's where the Eastern courtroom drama comes in. If Koksal Sahin hasn't learned much from the djinn-related crime cases that came before him, perhaps the future producers of Piri Mason can learn something from his.
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Barbara Eden could attack me, and I'd be fine with that.
The young Barbara Eden, damn right.
[insert lamp-rubbing joke here]
Aim for the head if she does. That's the only way to put her down for sure.
No, it is too perilous - save yourself! I will throw myself in the way of the young Barbara Eden!
449 x 483 pixels was a good resolution to Barbara.
I could never figure out why, on the show, she was allowed to show off much of her ample rack as she does in this photo, but exposing her navel was a no-no?
Also, if we're talking mid-60's sitcoms and limiting ourselves to those that started in black-and-white and were in color in later seasons, and featured a beautiful housewife who could grant wishes, yet whose husband inexplicably didn't want her to use her powers -- I'd have to say I would pick Elizabeth Montgomery over Barbara Eden.
And I'd say to my wife Samantha on Bewitched (played by Montgomery), "Sam, why don't you wiggle your nose and cast a spell on the lady over there, and make her have a three-way with us?"
#BelieveHim
In other news, the dingo ate his baby.
That couple were eventually exonerated; the dingo did eat their baby. Those poor people were railroaded.
I know, I just like the phrase. I always hear it in my head as Elaine Benes doing it in an exaggerated Aussie accent.
"You know that's a true story? Lady lost a kid. You're about to cross some fuckin' lines."
THE DJINN ARE LEGION!!!!
I wish for three more wishes.
That has to be your second wish. Your first wish has to be to repeal the rule against wishing for more wishes.
He's obviously lying. The Genie died last year. 🙁
Mmm, Barbara Eden.
Fun trivia fact: Lore has it that when she first came to Hollywood, a studio boss told her she'd never make it in Hollywood, 'cause she wasn't pretty enough.
The studio boss was a blind man?
Maybe he was tappin' Raquel Welch... who knows?
She did have a nose job but it was an enhancement so slight as to pass unnoticed.
, "a genie attacked her."
If this guy was actually from Turkey, wouldn't it have been a Djinn?
This story actually sounds more plausible than many of the "cop used reasonable force because he was afraid" stories we've seen lately.
Given what we know of cops, it seems reasonable that they are, in fact, afraid.
We mock these people, yet when I mock Eddie for his weeping statues I'm painted as an anti-catholic bigot. Keep it consistent, people.
Lighten up, Francis.
Hey, be afraid!
http://tardis.wikia.com/wiki/Weeping_Angel
I hate British sci-fi
We're all bigots, Tonio. Just ask Tony, Tulpa, Bo, or Mary.
Libertariansim = Hate
Didn't you know?
Don't forget the Mexicans, pot, and ass-sex.
Well are you?
Thuggees disguised as damn genies have certainly wrought an interesting and vile work in those places.
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I know that Satan isn't readily subject to service of process in US courts, see United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo v. Satan and His Staff, 54 F.R.D. 282 (W.D.Pa. 1971), but I'm not sure about djinns....
come on now, djinn are no more fabricated than the right to bear arms, freedom of speech, the land of the free or government agents who are here to help.
Here we hear the claim "The Devil Made Me Do It!" Which is about as believable as djinn in the Middle East. A more modern version of this is "temporary insanity".
Same basic idea in all these cases: "I'm not responsible for what happened!"
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Oh, come on, just a little peril!
No, it's much too perilous.