Brickbat: Say Your Prayers, Eat Your Vitamins


Joseph Burrell spent some six months in a Minnesota jail after a field test showed a bag of powder in his possession to be amphetamines. He was freed only after a full lab test found the powder was vitamins.

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    1. Pence the richer?

      1. I have no idea how I did that.

        1. M-O-O-N that spells “moon”!

  1. but what about the egregious vitamin deficiency issue plaguing the country?

  2. Mmmmm, Vitamin A….

  3. He was in jail 6 months because his bail was 250,000 dollars.For a bag of powder! He also faced years in prison. 1. why do so many want to give harsh harsh penalties for non violent actions? 2. Just how did the cops happen to find this ‘bag of powder’? I don’t see any other reason he was stopped?

    1. I’d like to think he had a “Got Meth?” bumper sticker. Just because.

      1. Maybe the smelled the ‘heavy odor of drugs’?

        1. the cop that is,need coffe.

          1. 6 cups, apparently.

          2. I could use more coffe myself.

            1. coff66

    2. “He was in jail 6 months because his bail was 250,000 dollars.For a bag of powder! ”

      Our bail system is a mess. A tool meant to only be used rarely to ensure the defendant show up for trial has become a weapon for the authorities to coerce guilty pleas and enrich their supporters in the bail bonds industry.…..ond-system

    3. He was originally stopped because he was driving with his lights off.…..g-charges/

      It also looks like he has a checkered past. I’m sure in a small town like Mankato, Officer Friendly noticed this guy with his lights off and took the chance to fuck with him.

      I can’t find the story where I read about this originally, but sadly the commenters were all saying that the dude was probably trying to rip off other drug addicts with his fake speed, so it was all good.

    4. 1. why do so many want to give harsh harsh penalties for non violent actions?

      Drug use leads to violence. Druggies inevitably will rob and steal and rape and murder and do all kinds of violent things, because drugs are a magical totem that makes people do those things. By focusing on the totems, police prevent all these violent crimes. This allows the police to largely ignore actual violent crime and instead focus on prevention.

  4. Next time the cops will lock up people for negative tests while citing how inaccurate their field tests are. “Neg, lock him up. It says vitamins but our test is incompetent.”

  5. Gotta love the kangaroo court system, such a joke.

  6. Flinstones vitamins and our prison system do share a catchy jingle though: “Ten million strong and growing”

  7. Burrell says he’s not happy it took so long for the Bureau of Criminal Apprehension to process the evidence.

    “Oh well, but what ya gonna do know what I mean?”

    Blue Earth County assistant attorney Chris Rovney says a field test was positive for amphetamine

    , heroin, anthrax, and plutonium. At least a K9 officer didn’t alert.

    1. “Sarge! The dog alerted for…URANIUM?!”

      1. “Goodboy, Rudolph, goodboy!”

        1. Rut ra rell is a rigowatt?!

  8. The ‘war on drugs’ has made a mockery out of our whole legal system. The LEOs chase small time penny ante drug users and dealers, while those guilty of violent crimes and murders run free. Even worse you can get more time for some drug offenses than you will if you commit a murder. Yes, I know some drugs are dangerous and harmful, but the people who do them know that, and are willing to take that chance. Driving a car, or worse yet a motorcycle, can be dangerous, even walking across the street can be dangerous, mountain climbing is dangerous, so is skydiving, but there are no laws against any of those. Yet, doing drugs, selling drugs, and making illegal drugs is considered worse than beating the crap out of some one or killing them. Seems like there is a total disconnect between what is dangerous, and and what lawyers and judges decide in their kangaroo courts.

    1. Drug cases are easy to prove. Just show the evidence and whammo you’ve got a conviction. Crimes with actual victims require actual police work, investigations, and proving a case. That’s hard. Besides, there’s no profit in policing crimes with victims. The police can’t steal everything a murderer owns, but they can rob a druggy blind. It’s all about incentives.

      1. The police can’t steal everything a murderer owns, but they can rob a druggy blind.

        Make is so they can take the murderer’s stuff and they will go after them. But murderer’s are dangerous; I mean they kill people. Best to go after the non-violent people.

  9. The field test had to be defective. There’s just no way a highly trained, professional officer of the law could have just royally fucked it up or tampered with it, or contaminated it. We can all be certain that officers are in no way culpable for inaccurate field tests.

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  11. I just got paid usd6784 working off my laptop this month. And if you think that’s cool, my divorced friend has twin toddlers and made over usd 9k her first month. It feels so good making so much money when other people have to work for so much less. This is what I do,,,,,,

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