A.M. Links: U.S. to Help Iraq Retake Mosul from ISIS, Caracas Mayor Arrested by Venezuelan Government, Clinton Foundation Rakes in Cash


  • A suicide attack in the Somali capital of Mogadishu has killed at least 10, reportedly including the city's deputy mayor.
  • Caracas Mayor Antonio Ledezma, a leading critic of left-wing Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, has been arrested on questionable charges of fomenting a coup.
  • "Since its creation in 2001, the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation has raised close to $2 billion from a vast global network that includes corporate titans, political donors, foreign governments and other wealthy interests."
  • Maureen McDonnell, wife of former Virginia Gov. Robert McDonnell, who was recently sentenced to two years in prison for corruption, will be sentenced herself today on bribery charges. Federal prosecutors are pushing for an 18-month prison sentence.

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  1. U.S. forces will assist the Iraqi military in attempting to retake the city of Mosul from ISIS.

    Going to be hard without boots touching ground.

    1. Hello.


    2. Ol?.

      One of the contenders for America’s royal family must be in grinding poverty, or they’d have at least $3B.

      1. Don’t forget the combat robots.

        1. +1 Game of Drones

          1. Nice.

        1. I see you’ve been using your Dirty Hungarian Phrasebook again, CN.


    3. Why would you announce this? “Here’s our plan, we’re coming next month!”

      1. Repeating a thought from yesterday: publicly drown any captured ISIS fighter in pig’s blood. If that’s our M.O., announcing in advance and then executing such a plan should do wonders for decreasing morale amongst their ranks. Dovetailing with John’s idea: have women executioners holding their heads under. Still more humane than burning someone alive.

        1. Transfusing them with pigs blood would be better.

        2. According to Rear Admiral D.P. Mannix, who fought the Moros as a young lieutenant from 1907?1908, the Americans exploited Muslim taboos by wrapping dead Moros in pig’s skin and “stuffing [their] mouth[s] with pork”, thereby deterring the Moros from continuing with their suicide attacks.[19]


          1. I imagine they were looking for any psychological advantage they could get. The Moros were tough bastards. Hell, they had invent the .45 to fight them.

            1. The Moros would wrap teenage warriors’ testicles in tight leather to drive them into a fury from pain.

              People do weird, mean shit sometimes.

              1. Didn’t know that. owwwwwww……

              2. Not just leather but wet leather. As it dries it contracts making the knot even tighter and more painful.

            2. They still are tough, and we are still (as of 2012, at least) fighting them.

        3. Why not make them eat a hot dog?

          1. A Hebrew National hot dog

            1. No pork.

              1. In one of life’s little ironies, halal and kosher are very similar.

                1. Don’t think that’s an irony, given how heavily influenced Islam is by the other Big Two monotheistic faiths hailing from that region. A space alien would look at Muslims and Jews and think that they’re about as different as Daoists and Buddhists.

                  Human beings have to work hard to find reasons to kill their neighbors instead of trading with them.

          2. +1 Joey Chestnut

      2. That’s my thought exactly. What purpose does this serve? Oh, and they’re not actually coming for four months? Well that certainly doesn’t leave enough time to lay traps everywhere and plan to lead the advancing forces right into them.

    4. The boots have all been replaced with standard issue military combat sandals

    5. Going to be hard without boots touching ground.

      Boots? On the ground, you say?

      Hold on, I’m being deafened by silence.

      BO could replace himself with a cardboard cutout of him giving us all the finger. That’s what this President amounts to.

    6. Boots on the ground; boots on the ground; looking like a fool with your boots on the ground.

      1. I’m brimming with Hope’n’Change for this shovel-ready project. I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on earth. Because drone strikes, A-10 and helicopter gunship strafings, shock-and-awe, and special forces boots on the ground are both the essence of peace, and the true American image held not only by Muslims but by all people around the world.

    7. Gotta say, I called this last week when I asked who was retaking Fallujah and Mosul without the USA.

    8. I read the book American Sniper recently. He talks about how in his last deployment, the Iraqi army was supposed to take the lead, and Americans were supposed to just assist. But in reality, the Iraqi army was inept at best, so the Americans did all the work and just let the Iraqis get the photo ops. That makes me think there will be a lot more than just some American guys in a tent coming up with battle plans.

      1. Yeah, if Mosul is re-taken it will be the Marines or a US Army unit doing the taking.

      2. I wonder about this time though, since this might just be the first time the average Iraqi soldier actually cares about the outcome. Seeing Muslim killing Muslim in such medieval ways just might concentrate some minds.

    9. Hoverboards.

      1. Well, it is 2015.

    10. I guess what I don’t understand is that Egypt and Jordan are pissed and ready to fight- why don’t we just assist them in fighting these pricks? We just add leadership and air support.

    11. Three words: Boots of Levitation.

      1. Nice.

        Keep a Feather Fall handy in the event of enemy Dispel Magic.

  2. …has been arrested on questionable charges of fomenting a coup.

    If you’re opposition, you’re fomenting a coup.

    1. You’re under arrest for violating the FYTW Act.

    2. Hell, if you are hoarding TP you are fomenting a coup!

      1. When I hoard TP, that is not what I’m fomenting.

    3. I am planning on fomenting a nice witbier in my basement

    4. Domestic Terrorists, the lot of ’em

  3. Record low temperatures are expected this weekend from Chicago to New York City.

    On a personal note, my power went out this morning. Minus 15 degrees out.

    1. I got up this morning and the thermometer read -0.4F. I feel as though Mother Nature is deliberately taunting me with that fraction of a degree below 0. Sure -15 would be colder, but seeing that on the thermometer just doesn’t feel as obnoxious as -0.4.

      1. *Digital* thermometer, I take it?

        1. Yes, you take it correctly. It was colder two Fridays ago.

          (That picture is safe for work.)

      2. -20 in my part of Michigan. Garage door opener keeps freezing up…

    2. I think the weather is why California will never completely collapse on itself.

      1. This is why California can get away with the shit that they do. No one would put up with that crap to live in Minnesota.

    3. Power goes out at -15?

      Shit, it dips to -30 here and not a hitch.


      1. It’s back on now and it’s still minus whatever. Of course, I’m not at home to enjoy said electricity.

    4. It’s 1.13am, 71 degrees F and 96% humidity. Your minus 15 is strangely alluring at the moment

      1. No, I would love some disgustingly humid Maryland summer weather right now.

        1. I’ll take my 1 degree any day over a typical NYC summer day.

          1. Crazy talk.

          2. I’m with you Rhywun. Anything over 50 degrees is WAY too hot.

          3. Between the mosquitos, the weather and my brilliantly alabaster skin, I try to avoid leaving the house entirely from May through October. Give me winter any day.

        2. Really? Maryland is not that humid in the summer.

      2. It’s 1.13am…

        No it’s not.

        1. It’s always 1.13am in his majesty’s penal colony..

          1. penal colony

            Watch your mouth around the lady!

      3. It’s a balmy 38?(F) and about ~44% humidity here in SwFL.

    5. Another warm and sunny day ahead here in California. No rain. Many surface water treatment plants were shutdown last year and now the wells are running dry. No place to ski. It’s odd that this isn’t in the news much. Sometimes I get the feeling everyone elsewhere hates us.

      1. Trust your feelings young widget.

      2. I just hate you because your opinions.

        1. because of your! I hate myself for my editing skills. For shame, sir.

      3. Yes, we do 😉

    6. Upstate NY?

    7. 0 F in the great white north(ern Virginia) this AM. So much for living in the South.

      1. Oh so NOVA is the South again?* Down here in real Virginia, I woke up to a toasty 5. But my car got stuck yesterday so I couldn’t go hang at the bar, which sounded like it was wild. I was so mad I wished extinction on polar bears. I’m sorry polar bears.

        *My apologies if by Northern Virginia you meant Northern Neck or Winchester-ish.

        1. Which neck of the woods are you in? Hampton Roads (still don’t like that name), Richmond?

        2. *sheepishly*
          I meant NOVA…
          *sulks away*

      2. Virginia is not the south. Neither is Kentucky. Look at a fucking map.

        1. With whom was VA aligned with during the civil war (’cause that was the reference I was making)? Look at a fucking history book.
          See, I can be a prick for no reason too.

  4. “Since its creation in 2001, the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation has raised close to $2 billion from a vast global network that includes corporate titans, political donors, foreign governments and other wealthy interests.”

    Vast global conspiracy, you mean.

    1. It takes more than village to raise moolah like that.

      1. Some of us use Moolah to get a raise, if you know what I mean.

        1. Is that what gives you a rise?

          Cause ewwww!

          Are you into GILFs?

    2. $2 billion and free trips to Orgy Island? It’s good to be the king.

    3. Remember, the Clintons were dead broke when they left the White House.

    4. But KOCCCCH Brothers!

    1. You can bet some asshole is going to claim this is why we need to make porn illegal.

      1. Every time you watch porn, a baby dies. [/radfem]

        1. Every time I watch porn, I kill millions of babies… potentially.

    2. Huh. And people paid to see them? I suppose ugly tweaker porn must be a thing.

        1. I found that a temptation that was very easy to resist in this case.

    3. Morning IFH! Pommies get beat down again – heh, heh, heh.

      1. Morning RavNat! It was just pitiful. Another generation of children thinking “England batting collapse” is all one word.

        Be intersting to see how we go with Pup back in the side. Not that I care – WE’RE ASIAN CHAMPIONS!

        1. I have a map you might need….

          1. Australia is also a wild card in Eurovision

          2. Pure pragmatism/cynicism: when they were in Oceania, even if they won the World Cup qualifying group, there was a two-legged play off against – usually – a South American team. Which – until 2006 – Australia lost.

            In the Asian Football Confederation, they only need to finish first or second in their final qualifying group to go to the Finals. Comparatively easier road.

            1. Yeah, Australia was in a rough spot. At least CONCACAF offers decent enough competition for Canada. We still suck though.

            2. Of course, before Oceania split off from Asia and Oceania, they were in a somewhat similar position as to now.

              I think FIFA needs to go away from geographic qualification.

              1. There is some talk that New Zealand might apply to join AFC.

                The only problem in going away from geographic qualification is that UEFA and CONEMBOL will probably use it to squeeze out as many minnows as possible. That would take away some of the excitement of the tournament.

        2. Yes. Terribly disappointing – I can’t describe how broken up I am about that.

          And, yes, Asian championship for the win! Watched the highlights on youtube, really well done.

          Political question: what happened in Queensland the other weekend? Was that all local issues or is Tony Abbott really that unpopular?

          1. Abbott was a factor, but Newman was pretty unpopular: arrogant and reformist (and he lost his own seat). It certainly wasn’t a compelling proposition from Labor, which is still startled to find itself back after only one term. What policies do they have, apart from saying “no”? Bugger all, that’s what. At least the Victorian election last year (also an upset) installed a not wholly amateur ALP government (disclosure: an old uni mate is in that government)

            It’s reignited the debate on whether our politics are so screwed up that reform is basically impossible. This might be skewed by Abbott’s incompetence (policy and political), however

            1. From New Zealand: Peacekeeping UN, not warlike US, is our club.


            2. Thanks. So Labour in Q governing in own right? I read something about minority govt. or maybe some loose allies but didn’t see the final situation.

              1. It needed 45 seats and won 44, but has the support of an independent. One of those seats, Ferny Grove, is heading to the Court of Disputed Returns, as one of the losing candidates was an undischarged bankrupt and hence ineligible

                OT: Sign this petition

                1. Thanks! And awesome petition!

    4. People suck

    1. Well, he said he was sorry.

      1. “Ja, ja, just do not do it again.”

  5. Federal prosecutors are pushing for an 18-month prison sentence.

    You have to be pretty goddamn corrupt and blatant about it to actually get prosecuted, don’t you? Or was it high-powered enemies that was their undoing?

    1. I think lack of discretion was their downfall. IIRC they didn’t really try to hide what they were doing. They just did it and said “What? It’s legal.”

  6. This German finance magazine has an excellent name


    1. “What’s the most often heard question in a gay bar?”

      1. “Can I buy you a drink, or maybe push in your stool?”

    1. Here comes the devil driver
      With evil on his mind
      Beware the devil driver
      He’s gonna get you

    2. I am the Nightrider! I’m a fuel-injected suicide machine! I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller!

      1. You know, It never occurred to me but whoever wrote the script for Mad Max must’ve been listening to AC/DC…

      2. I remember you when I look to the night sky

    3. DevilDriver is a crappy metal band. They’re, shall we say, for beginners.

      1. Cant summon a lake troll with that shit

      2. ^^^^This

      3. Is nothing sacred anymore? Don’t tell me I have to put up with metal elitists here now…

    4. His shirt has “devil” and “kills” on it. Ergo, he’s a sociopathic Satanist.

      As a fellow metal head, I must say I’m disappointed on how overdue I am on committing my axe murder spree.

      1. I commit my murder spree EVERY time we play….

  7. My buddy’s brother-in-law (a successful, wealthy engineer) bought a Tesla (130k plus the subsidy. Which annoys me. If you’re such a hotshot dish out the six grand the taxpayers give you). He was telling me some of the insufferable gibberish he’s been spewing to justify the purchase. From insinuating ‘smart people but EVs’ to ‘fed up of gassing up’ to ‘Porsche’s are for bankers.’

    To us, it’s a status-gadget purchase for the smug dude.

    1. For a moment there I though your handle had been taken over by a ‘bot!

      My buddy’s brother-in-law is earning $80 an hour …..

      1. HA!

        He’s earning much more.

        1. *** rising intonation ***

          But how many hours a week does he work?

    2. From what I hear they are pretty fun to drive.

      In addition to not taking the subsidy (though I suppose you don’t get rich if you go around leaving money on the table), he should stop trying to justify himself and just say that it’s a fun car an a cool gadget and that’s enough reason right there.

      1. Yes, it’s a nice ride; fun I don’t know but smooth and quiet. Nice design and neat technological features.

        But I want an Isotta-Fraschini!


        1. Yeah, that would be a fun car (when it isn’t broken, anyway).

          From what I hear of the Tesla, the acceleration if pretty awesome and the handling pretty good if you are into that sort of thing. But if you drive it in an enthusiastic way, the batteries will run out very quickly.

          1. If you’re into that sort of thing you ain’t buying a Tesla. Just like a person who loves the sound of a Harley engine ain’t gonna buy an electric Harley.

        2. As a child I wanted a Duesenberg: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rwMhcCKvcvs

          V-12 engine.

    3. It’s a luxury lifestyle accessory! It’s a social signal! It’s a floor wax and a dessert topping!

    4. Porsche’s are for bankers

      A guy I play soccer with is the Market President (maybe that doesn’t mean much, but I assume he must be loaded) of a fairly large bank.

      He drives an Accord.

      1. A friend of ours is President of Mergers and Acquisition for HSBC. He doesn’t own a car but uses public transit in London and NYC.

        1. Twist: He has a private car on the subway/tube.

          1. Not even.

            In fact, he’s pretty down to earth. A shoe fanatic. Always looking down to see what shoes I wear.

            1. Shoe fanatic/shoe fetishist.

      2. He drives an Accord.

        How do you think he got rich?

        1. Well it is fully loaded…

          No, he’s a smart guy.

      3. He drives an Accord.

        Must have started his career at a Credit Union 🙂

    5. Sorry for the apostrophe in Porsche.

      1. Damn you for making your apology before my comment went through!

    6. Porsche’s what are for bankers?

      At least the language police are going to get your friend’s BIL for that apostrophe. 😉

      1. I ATONED.

    7. Is he married or is he still shopping around? I can see where the Tesla could be a useful accessory.

      1. Married, three kids.

        1. Yeah, he’s screwing somebody else.

          1. Anything is possible. Good looking family though.

            1. Didn’t stop Marty Brodeur from sleeping with his sister-in-law.

              Those Quebeckers are fucking nuts.

    8. fed up of gassing up

      Yea, I’m so over refilling my 450-mile-range gas tank in under 2 minutes. Give me a battery, dammit.

    9. Porsche’s are for drivers, Teslas are for nerds. Not many Teslas @ your local track day.

      1. No kidding. Think of the cars you could buy with 120K. You could get a late model garage queen Aston Martin. You could get a brand new 911, a C7 ZR1 Corvette, a 600+ horsepower Shelby Mustang and leave $50,000 in the bank, a top end M5, a Maserati Quatraporte. And these losers by a Tesla? It is just fucking pathetic.

    10. Anyone who buys a Tesla is an idiot who may like gadgets but doesn’t appreciate cars. A Tesla is a fucking golf cart. Why anyone would spend six figures on a golf cart is beyond me.

    1. Has feminist journalism ever been anything but “feelings journalism”?

      1. Old school feminism which fought for the elimination of legal barriers etc was pretty fact-based

        1. Yes, I should remember that feminism isn’t all whiny Marxist idiocy.

          1. It seems that most movements that seek to help historically oppressed groups end up overcorrecting into the realm of Marxist idiocy. Blame human nature for always wanting more, I guess.

            1. I think they’re co-opted.

              1. I think that’s right. Look at the Greens Party in Australia (and elsewhere) – started as straightforward conservationists, now the natural home of progs and actual communists.

          2. All organizations that are not explicitly libertarian eventually become statist. Even explicitly libertarian organizations tend to become statist as they stray from strict interpretation of the non-aggression principle.

            The same holds for popular movements like feminism.

      2. “Has feminist journalism ever been anything but “feelings journalism”?”

        Let’s ask Alissa.

        *Braces self behind +3 Adamantine Shield of NAP*

  8. It’s hard out there for a lawyer:

    One of K&L Gates’ clients has complained, in a graphic email to its Chairman and other staff, that a partner at the firm offered to have sex with him in return for work.

    1. Prostitution and politics are the world’s oldest and second oldest professions respectively. They have a lot in common.

      Now we get to add legal practice as the third oldest?

      1. Legal practice has always been about combining whoring and politicing.

  9. Things we learnt from Kim Gordon’s memoirs:

    I thought, Ewwww, at even the mention of Billy Corgan, whom nobody liked because he was such a crybaby

    1. Who could ewwww at this man? Kim Gordon is a savage.

      1. I just “Eeew” because of his irritating vocal style.

        1. Siamese Dream is one of my favorite albums, but you do have a point.

          1. It really ruined them for me.

          2. Ditto. You get over it.

            1. You get over it.

              Speak for yourself.

          3. I think they were maybe the best band of the 1990s. They were certainly twice the band Nirvana ever was and Corgan three times the song writer and musician Kurt Kobain was.

            1. ^^Absolutely

        2. Seconded. The opening words to Muzzle are some of the most grating sounds to come out of a human mouth….ever.

      2. I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with Kim and Thurston a couple of times. Nice people.

        1. Namedropper. JK. At least now I have the pleasure of Daydream Nation running through my head at work for the rest of today – at least until some asshole comes along here to ruin it.

          1. Did you summon me, Rhywun?


            Work-safe but brain damaging.

            1. I don’t get videos at work, so nice try.

          2. Good idea. Turning off Dan Patrick show and switching over to Daydream Nation.

  10. An extra cup or two of coffee may be OK after all. More eggs, too.

    Agriculture Secretary Tom Vilsack said “it is by no means over” with the release of the report.

    Indeed. We must keep changing our guidelines until the science is settled.

    1. I think we already knew that.

    2. One more cup of coffee for the road.

      1. You can make it *two* until Tom gets back to you.


          /Food Derp Agency

          1. Speaking of the FDA, I saw that they had approved the “sterilization” procedure causing the latest superbug outbreak.

            1. perfect. I’m sure they will testify in defense of the equipment manufacturer who will be sued over this.

    3. Can I put salt on those eggs, yet, or do I still need to wait a few years?

    4. 3 cups of coffee and 3 eggs for me every single morning.

  11. Finally a bit more press here and here on the FDA covering up fraud in medical trials.

    The finding was peer-reviewed and in JAMA. Probably of interest to those on the dangers of over-regulation. But I suspect the media will underplay it as part of their bias toward Top Men.

    1. My in law is pretty libertarian, but he is staunchly pro FDA. It is bizarre to me. But his first kid (my wife) was born right at the time of the flipper baby scandal. I think that visceral fear of someone fucking up your child just overrides his less emotional predisposition towards non-aggression.

      The FDA is a perfect example that there are always going to be lying snake oil salesmen and no regulation is going to stop that. If anything, regulatory capture just makes them monopolistic billionaires.

  12. Caracas Mayor Antonio Ledezma, a leading critic of left-wing Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro, has been arrested on questionable charges of fomenting a coup.


    1. Muduro is going keep screwing up until one of these days he loses an election.


      Joe from Lowell

      1. We are Reason’s Greatest Generation, John. Every day there are fewer and fewer of us that directly experienced joe.

        1. I miss minge

          1. I don’t. He was a fuckstain of the highest order.

            1. Joe was pretty entertaining though.

              1. That was the worst part of joe. He’d be all normal, even funny, and then revert to his douche persona. He was like a reverse-werewolf, nice for three days a month and a savage tard the rest.

              2. In a rage inducing fashion.

            2. But still a step up from the idiots on here now.

              1. Yeah, both of those guys were brilliant compared to Tony. The standards for lefty commenters has gone way down.

          2. Fuck MNG. I loved when he got a hardon for me because I wasn’t substantive enough for him, though.

            1. It so pathetic that Tulpa had to rip off an insult at you to insult me. He couldn’t even come up with his own insults.

              1. Tulpa loves Mother Gaia, so he recycles his garbage

            2. Was he the one who came up with “axis of glib”?

              1. Yep. Which was Episiarch, SugarFree, and me, I think. Were there any others?

                1. Which was Episiarch, SugarFree, and me, I think. Were there any others?

                  He included Pro Lib and Baked Penguin as well. Which was very astute of him, really.

                  If I recall correctly, JW was angry at being left out (or was it PL?)

              2. Tulpa came up with “axis of glib,” which was very good for him. Of course, we took it as a compliment and that enraged him.

                MNG could be convivial and joke around, but after Obamacare and the pummeling MNG took over advocating enslaving doctors (and a very long three day fight where he refused to acknowledge a moral difference between initiating force and defending yourself from and initiation of force) he went pure troll and then stomped off in a huff.

                1. MNG started out as the reasonable leftist alternative to Joe. After Joe ran and hid and Obama started to crash and burn he turned into almost as big of a dishonest prick as Joe ever was.

                  1. Bigger, I’d say. Joe knows he’s a miserable failure, but MNG has his bullshit labor studies PhD to inflate his ego.

                    1. Exactly. The last word we had on joe was that he was working as a substitute teacher in Boston. That just screams intellectual success.

                    2. I thought Joe came back under a different handle for a while as “Craig in Mass” or something like that. I may be wrong though, because he went derpy pretty quickly, but the timing was right.

          3. I want to point out I still think Bo is actually MNG. Same elitism, same simpering writting style.

            And you guys didnt even give LoneDipshit an honerable mention? or DONDERROOOOOOOO!

            1. Lone dipshit was just tiresome. Donderoo in contrast was kind of sad but oddly entertaining. I would Donderoo back on the site. I never really gave a shit about Ron Paul. To me the whole Dondero thing was just a vaguely entertaining intramural Libertarian fight. So he never bothered me and I enjoyed watching others torture him.

              1. Eric is a little too wrapped up in White Nationalism to bother with us at this point. Which is hilarious considering that one of his bugaboos about Ron Paul was the newsletters.

            2. I still think Bo is actually MNG

              I don’t think Bo is old enough to be MNG. Bo is probably in his early 20s and acts like he’s 12. When MNG quit posting, Bo was probably still in HS.

              1. Now this–

                When MNG quit posting, Bo was probably still in HS.

                makes me feel old.

            3. It also appears that White Indian’s thousand-year reign of terror has been blacked out by most. Me? I lie awake in bed some nights, unable to sleep, still scarred by it.

              1. I actually read many of his posts (and the counter-arguments to them).

                It was interesting mental exercise getting my brain to wrap around what he wrote.

                1. I was referring to SRC’s post about White Indian.

        2. I was here for joe. I didn’t comment much (and still don’t), but I’ve been here since the late 90’s.

      2. I talked to an uber driver from Venezuela and he had nothing but good things to say about Chavez, socialism, and populism in general. Of course only good if you happen to enjoy rough anal sex with a large fist using a cut of jalapenos, salt and water as lube.

        1. If it is so great, what is he doing in the US? Does he just not think himself worthy of the benefits of socialist paradise?

          Reasons why I shouldn’t ever take UBER. That ride would have ended badly had it been me.

          1. I think you misunderstood me John he was an Uber driver, and had moved to America he was probably more of a capitalist than either of us will ever be.

            1. I am sure he was. But that begs the question why he is here and not enjoying the fruits of the socialist paradise.

              1. no he hated socialism

                1. I am sorry. Now I get it. The last sentence of your post didn’t sink in for some reason.

                  1. You’ve had a hard time recently detecting sarcasm, John. Hint: It’s all sarcasm. Well, sarcasm and cynicism. 🙂

        2. There is a very large Venezuelan diaspora in my next of the woods (Texas). I see anti-Chavez (or whoever is in charge now) bumper stickers everywhere.

        3. I work with a former PdVSA chemical engineer. His loathing of Chavez, Maduro, and Bolivarian Socialism have no bound. He makes us seem like Obamatons by comparison. He is convinced that the economic and social destruction wrought by Chavez will take at two or three generations to overcome, but only if the Cubans get out.

          1. yeah the guy I talked to felt like the Castros had a heavy hand in fucking up his country.

    2. They misspoke. He’s just fomenting a brew.

  13. But two military intelligence officers told Fox News that the decision to publicly announce the plan was counterintuitive because it “telegraphs” the timing and number of units involved. The officers said it would allow Islamic State, also known as ISIS, or ISIL, to prepare for the battle by laying improvised explosive devices.

    Nothing but right-wing propaganda, clearly.

    1. haha! Last night some reporter said that the announcement was a form of psyops…it would give the ISIS fighters something to worry about. Top Men I tell you!

      1. Meh – the Iraqi division I was advising did this after Basra had been retaken. They dropped leaflets all over the last town that still had JAM in it (“We are coming! Drop the weapons and walk away! Look what happened to your buddies in Basra”). By the time they rolled up the place was a ghost town.

  14. the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation has raised close to $2 billion from a vast global network

    “Clinton” and “vast”. Haven’t we heard those two words together before?

    1. I’m presuming “we” does not include Monica L.

      1. She already gave at the office.

        1. Nice.

  15. Mother shot dead by police after she called them for help getting rid of unwanted guests

    Betty Sexton was shot in the chest on Tuesday in Gastonia, North Carolina
    Officers had been responding to reports of a domestic disturbance
    Ms Sexton was reportedly holding a musket at the time of the shooting
    LaDoniqua Neely, the police officer who allegedly shot the 43-year-old, has been put on administrative leave while an investigation is carried out
    Second time in two weeks Gastonia police have fatally shot somebody


    1. Ms Sexton was reportedly holding a musket at the time of the shooting

      So much for her 1A rights.

      1. Was she using it as a megaphone?

      2. *** exercises 1A rights ***


    2. LaDoniqua Neely, the police officer who allegedly shot the 43-year-old, has been put on administrative leave

      Racist white cops shooting black people.

      And I thought our resident pig told us administrative leave wasn’t used.

      1. No white men were involved. So it must not have happened.

      2. LaDoniqua Neely, the officer, is black. The woman she shot was white.

        1. Why would you just *assume* that someone named LaDoniqua is black?

          1. There was a picture in the article. Though it’s probably a pretty safe guess.

          2. I don’t/didn’t GKC – I looked at the pictures in the article.

            1. Is there a special award for people who miss two sarcastic posts in a row?

              Because, man, you are a shoe-in.

          3. Because I’ve been on planet earth for more than twenty minutes and my brain has pattern recognition abilities built in?

      1. See? That old man in Jersey with the flintlock is a threat to public safety.

        If only North Carolina had common sense musket control.

  16. Time to play everyone’s favorite game, Spot the Not! 2 of the following are real quotes from Muslim apologist and Christianity “expert” Reza Aslan:

    1. I am a scholar of religions with four degrees, including one in the New Testament and fluency in Biblical Greek, who has been studying the origins of Christianity for two decades, who also happens to be Muslim.

    2. The caricatures and cartoons which have appeared are a very serious issue as far as Muslims are concerned. Western governments and Western media need to appreciate that Muslims take their religion very seriously.

    3. There’s nothing more distasteful than an academic having to, like, trot out his credentials. You really come off as a jerk when you do that.

    Bonus points for guessing the identity of the not. The answer will be revealed in one hour so hurry, hurry, hurry and place your bets!

    1. 2

    2. 1 is the Not, from Obama’s senior thesis.

      1. from Obama’s senior thesis.

        what?! for real? Four degrees?

        1. Four degrees of Kevin Bacon?

          It could have been from Michelle Obama’s thesis, which I’ve heard is truly awful.

          1. http://www.politico.com/pdf/08….._1-251.pdf

            That thesis?

            1. Serious. Scholarly. Work.

              We stopped eating at the Yankee Doodle Taproom in Princeton because the Michelle photo made me nauseous; by the time we left Princeton there were tourist photo cut-outs of the Obamas on Nassau street.

    3. 2.

    4. 3. “Distasteful”? Yeah, right.

    5. No more bets! No more bets!

      The not was 2. That is a quote from wannabe jihadi and former beer enthusiast Anjem Choudary.

  17. Raiders and Chargers propose a joint stadium in LA.

    1) Division rivals sharing a stadium? That’s as dumb as post with no alt-text.

    2) That stadium looks awful.

    3) This is probably a threat to get public money from their current cities. Jackasses.

    1. On the field, the San Diego Chargers and Oakland Raiders have had as bitter a rivalry as any in the NFL

      Let’s not get carried away here

      1. The Chargers say that 25% of their games’ attendees come from the LA area, but that’s fans of other teams going to watch the games.

      2. No other team in the AFC west even considers the Chargers as rivals…They could have left with the SeaHags.

        Everyone enjoys kicking the shit out of the Raiders, though.

    2. Mortal enemies Inter Milan and AC Milan share Stadio Meazza/San Siro.

      Inter is finally talking of building their own stadium though.

    1. Is Ron deliberately trying to sabotage Rand’s potential run for President?

      1. Rand is doing a fine job sabotaging his own campaign.

      2. A little nostalgia for the old folks:

        “Father, *please*! I’d rather do it *myself*!”

    2. Can the new flag not have any red in it? I mean come on, we need something new and fresh.

      1. Would this be acceptable?

        1. We need to utilize something like…charcoal gray. Have you seen a flag use charcoal gray? No you have not.

  18. the Bill, Hillary and Chelsea Clinton Foundation has raised close to $2 billion from a vast global network

    Reason #583 that running a Clinton when your message is primarily griping about inequality is utterly batshit insane for the Democratic Party.

    1. Of course, their argument will be that they accrue no benefits from that money because it all goes to help the poor and needy.

  19. 85-year-old Texas Republican grandma fights to legalize pot: It’s not ‘the weed of the devil’

    Houston grandmother Ann Lee, who has spoken in support of marijuana legalization in her native state and is headed to Washington to speak with lawmakers, admits that she was not always a supporter of pot.

    That changed after her son was involved in an accident and needed medical marijuana to treat his condition.

    “We realized marijuana wasn’t the weed of the devil which I had been known to say,” she explained.

    Legalization activists have called her the perfect weapon as she heads off to Washington.

    “It’s not Republican to support prohibition,” said Lee, explaining that adults have the right to use marijuana.

    “The government has no business telling you you cannot.”

    Fuck yeah.

    1. “It’s not Republican to support prohibition,”

      Sorry, Ms. Lee, but they aren’t called the Stupid Party for nothing.

  20. One of the perks of being unemployed is being able to drink in the morning. I am drinking Mothman Black IPA. Who can pass up an opportunity to drink a beer named after a shitty Richard Gere movie?

    Reminds of a joke I heard. The comedian gave the Mothman a whiney Woody Allen voice.

    Ri-chudd! Ri-chudd! Open up! It’s me- the Mwothman. I’m outside the window, Ri-chudd let me in please!

    Ow! What did you just throw at me, Ri-chudd? A mwothball!? Really Ri-chudd, a mwoth ball? How’d you like it if I threw a Ri-chudd Gee-uh bwall at you?

    OK, Ri-chudd I have a prophecy for you. Are you ready Ri-chudd for the prophecy? OK, here’s the prophecy: It’s gonna rain.

    Buh-bye Ri-chudd!

    1. Even while unemployed I had no desire whatsoever to get toasted in the middle of the day. I was too busy job hunting for that shit and really it makes me feel like a loser to be drunk or stoned in the morning.

  21. It’s 8 degrees outside and I lost my car keys at work. Fucking awesome!

  22. The worst way to address campus rape

    Apparently anything that doesn’t give women absolute power over men

    Recently, the New York Times has spilled ink over two especially terrible ones. You may have heard the gun-lobby fantasy that women carrying firearms protects them from being raped. This is a key function of bills in 10 states that would permit the legal carrying of loaded weapons on campus, according to the Times’ Wednesday report.

    Given the fact that this country is still fighting to grasp the seriousness (or in some cases, the very definitions) of rape and sexual assault, who or what is “reasonable”? How do we know why Harvard Law professors object to this? (Shulevitz doesn’t quote any of them and it isn’t in their October 2014 statement bemoaning the lack of due process for the accused.) And what, exactly, is the “reasonable-person” test?

    As Shulevitz quoted no experts on those subjects,I asked one to put the test into context.

    “The reasonable-person standard kept our legal system oblivious to women and people of color since at least the 1700s,” said Katie Rose Guest Pryal, an author and attorney who covers health and higher education. “And yet that’s her suggested cure for our problems, whatever they are, with campus rape? No. Adopting the reasonable person standard is the opposite of what we should do.”

    1. Good thing there’s no reason to lie about it, right?

      Pryal added that Shulevitz’s column was fear mongering. “As a person who was raped as a child and as an adult, I know what it means to be afraid,” she said. “But as a mother of two sons, I know what it means to be raising young men in this country?and what it means to fear for my children. I’m just not afraid of false rape accusations. The arguments in [Shulevitz’s column] are red herrings. And those red herrings are everywhere.”

      1. So she self-identifies as a double rape victim.

    2. The reasonable-person standard kept our legal system oblivious to women and people of color since at least the 1700s,”

      So she is saying women and black people are “unreasonable”? That is pretty racist isn’t it?

      1. Confusing the principle with the application of the principle. Pretty par for the course.

      2. Well, the ones who write for The Nation are.

        1. It is good that a white woman wants to lower the standard of proof it takes to imprison black men for rape.

          It never even occurs to them that there might be some conflict between their desire to protect minorities and their desire to declare all men accused of rape guilty. They honestly seem to think such a standard would only apply to evil white frat boys.

          1. They honestly seem to think such a standard would only apply to evil white frat boys.

            They are rapidly approaching a point where they start saying stuff like that out loud.

            Hell, they already do with the hate crime laws.

    3. Katie Pryal has a website and a blog. It doesn’t disappoint.


      1. The announcers pointed out, before kickoff, that Bill Belichick was wearing his “favorite hoodie,” highlighting the privilege of white men in any field to dress down (or in Bill’s case, like a slob), while people of color must adhere to heightened, invisible dress codes to earn respect. And if you’re a person of color and don’t dress up, as we know, you are very well risking your life. But even if you do dress up, like Ersula Ore and others, you are not immune to police abuse.

      2. Tom Brady has the privilege to abandon his pregnant fiancee for a supermodel without invoking racial stereotypes?do all white men leave their pregnant girlfriends? Is that a white thing to do? Yet, white people go crazy that Richard Sherman hasn’t married his pregnant girlfriend. Every article on Sherman and his girlfriend’s impending due date is flooded with racist comments by white people talking about how he hasn’t married his “baby mama.” In case you were wondering, yes, “baby mama” is racially loaded language.

      3. Gronk gives interview after interview, and each interview has any thinking person dropping her head to her desk in brain pain. But no one says he speaks for all white men, demonstrating the lack of intelligence, education, or articulateness of all white men. While Marshawn Lynch is, well, you know.

      This woman has a license to practice law.

      1. She also, apparently, got smacked in the face with a shovel as an infant. I wouldn’t judge her too harshly when she complains about people being judged on their appearance. I think she knows what she’s talking about.

        1. And she is apparently a half wit that I wouldn’t trust to litigate a dog bite case. So, I guess spewing feminist idiocy is her best bet for making a living. She has to do something, because finding a sugar daddy is definitely not an option.

        2. I’d hate to see the shovel.

      2. Yeah, internet comments about sports stories are obviously the best way to determine what white people in general think. How does she know they are all white, though?

      3. 1) Mike Tomlin would beg to differ with her assertions. Belicheck gets away with dressing and acting the way he does simply becuase he wins, nothing more nothing less. The exact same is true of Tomlin who generally dresses in a similar fashion to Belicheck and acts in a similar manner wrt the press and the fans and he hasn’t got anywhere near the level of success Belicheck has.

        2) Facts how do they work? Everyone involved acknowledges that Moynahan herself did not realize she was pregnant until several weeks after they had broken up and lets not forget that his pregnant “fiancee” was also a supermodel (and I don’t recall but I don’t think they were ever engaged, at least not publicly)

    4. Wait, she’s saying we can’t expect to hold women to the standard of a reasonable person?

      That’s awfully infantalizing. I mean what’s the opposite of that standard? Not doubting the crazy stories of women because they’re women and get all hysterical and stuff?

      1. Not just women, minorities as well. It manages to be sexist and racist.

      2. I think her intent is to say that the white patriarchy has not applied the reasonable standard equitably in the case of women and minorities.

        1. And therefore, the reasonable standard needs to go the way of the dodo.

    5. The reasonable-person standard kept our legal system oblivious to women

      Because women aren’t reasonable?

  23. Attention-starved wingnuts will do anything to “piss off” liberals, no matter how much in vain

    First comment:

    Kir (Politicoid) ? an hour ago
    If it didn’t work, this article wouldn’t exist.
    2 ? Reply?Share ?


    1. thud ? 2 hours ago
      I’ve had several blokes who claim their latest retort “is making liberal heads explode all over the internet”. I try to calm them down but they’ll have none of it.
      1 ? Reply?Share ?

      The lack of self-awareness is stunning. Well, not really stunning so much as retarded.

      1. She can’t possibly be ignorant of the hoplophobes doing things like protesting “no gun zone” signs because they have a picture of a gun on them.

    2. It’s not working, which is why she turned off her Twitter notifications and, as a moderator on RawStory, immediately bans anyone who criticizes her and deletes their comments.

  24. Cell phone footage shows the moment 17-year-old boy was repeated punched by undercover detective in ‘unprovoked attack’ at Mardi Gras parade

    Brady Becker, 17, was left badly beaten after an altercation with plain clothed Louisiana detective Nicholas Breaux on Friday
    Footage shows Becker being punched repeatedly in the face in the incident at Lakeside Shopping Center in Metairie
    The teen was charged with inciting a riot, resisting an officer, battery of a police officer and being in possession of alcohol while under the age of 21
    He and his friends claim the attack was unprovoked after the officer told one of the group: ‘If I punch you in your face, would I still be a f****** cop?’


    He said his arrest has caused him and his friends to look differently at police officers.
    ‘We look at cops like they are our enemies,’ he said.

    Some things must be learned the hard way.

    1. “The boy’s family say they have already filed a complaint with the Sheriff’s Office, but the department claims it has not received a formal complaint, which would trigger an internal investigation. ”

      They are looking for it in the wrong file.

      1. It’s in the right file. The round one.

        1. Sounds like what happened to a friend of mine. She was raped at a party and reported it to the police. When she went to check on the progress of the investigation found that the report didn’t exist. Apparently her rapist was the son of a police officer.

    2. One of these days, as police brutality escalates, I hope this will be the net result:

      Duke Nukem and Pig Cop

    3. Don’t tase me, Breaux.

  25. ‘I don’t want to get roles based on whether someone thinks I’m hot’: Anna Kendrick, 29, reveals she already worries about ageing in Hollywood


    1. I can’t decide if she is hot or just meh.

      1. Let me help you, CPA: Meh.

      2. She’s cute, bordering on pretty, and seems fairly smart and funny for an actress in interviews, but she lacks an erotic charge. She basically a cousin or your friend’s gawky little sister.

      3. She is meh. her face is too narrow. She has a decent body with a very nice rack for as thin as she is, but she is a bit too thin and her face is just a bit rat like.

        1. I believe she has the kind of looks that are going to hold out really well; I think she’ll come across as hotter in her 30’s.

      4. I’m going with hot. There’s a wicked little twinkle to her that I like.

        1. I see what Dean sees.

        2. I concur.

          It is not just her looks but there is something about her facial expressions that indicates she’d be real fun to be with, both in and out of bed

  26. The future of video games under our new SJW overlords.

    Consent is a prickly topic to navigate ? in society, in sex, even in our own heads. But learning how to properly practice it in a video game space could help educate entirely new audiences, according to speakers at IndieCade East 2015.

    The development trio of Allison Cole, Jessica Rose Marcotte and Zachary Miller are responsible for In Tune, a game jam title that evolved into a full-fledged project. In Tune asks players to negotiate terms of physical contact with which they’re both comfortable. In practice, this leads to two people talking out their comfort levels with a variety of poses ? everything from hugs to butt bumps ? and figuring out how to work together or around those poses. The trio’s talk, “Staying In Tune: The Importance of Creating a Dialogue About Consent,” covered the various ways in which In Tune may be able to help better explore consent.

    1. Yeah, that’s going to sell.

      1. If it doesn’t it will just prove out obsolete sexist and evil gamers are.

      2. Schools and HR departments will at least let them break even.

    2. Is Jessica Rose any relation to Amanda?

    3. I put on my robe and wizard hat…

      1. Just don’t mention your rod, staff, or wand Warty unless you want to be called on male privilege somehow .

        1. +4 Cockring of power?

      2. +1 bloodninja

    4. Consent is a prickly topic to navigate ? in society, in sex, even in our own heads. But learning how to properly practice it in a video game space

      Coily never consented to jumping off the pyramid when Q-bert jumps on one of the teleporters.

      1. “Let’s fuck, OK?”


        Yeah that was prickly.

    5. I can’t decide what’s funnier: the fact that they genuinely don’t seem to understand why people play video games or their belief that they can overcome market preferences and get people to buy theirs.

      Hollywood is liberal as hell and it knows audiences are lazy and contented with formula that specifically doesn’t challenge them.

      1. Even Hollywood will to some degree cut off its nose to spite its face. Biblical epics and war movies that are not anti-Americans are sure box office winners, yet rarely get made because Hollywood just can’t bring itself to give its loathsome customers what they demand.

        1. I don’t pay a whole lot of attention to what comes out, but it seems like there are a decent number of that kind of movie. Were there really a lot more in the past? I can really only think of a handful of Biblical epics, old or recent.
          But like I said, I’m not a big follower of what movies come out. There certainly does seem to be an anti-corporate and to some extent anti-American slant to a lot of what Hollywood puts out.

          If people are like me (which they probably aren’t), the biggest problem movies face is that TV is too good now. Unless you are 16 and don’t have much else to do, why would anyone go to a movie theater?

          1. American Sniper was the first movie made about the war on Terror that wasn’t an anti-American polemic. I suppose maybe the Hurt Locker wasn’t. But that is about it. And it has made a fortune.

            The Passion was a Gothic horror movie done in dead languages and it made $500 million.

            The easiest way to make bank with a movie is somehow make seeing it a way for average Americans to tell the Hollywood and Media elites to fuck off.

            1. What about Zero Dark 30 or whatever it was called? Was that anti-American? I never saw that either.

          2. the biggest problem movies face is that TV is too good now. Unless you are 16 and don’t have much else to do, why would anyone go to a movie theater?

            This is true, but the movie theaters have learned from their competitors in the sports industry and are making the theater itself part of the attraction instead of simply relying on the entertainment. Kind of funny that we’ll soon com full circle from Grauman’s theme theaters and the like.

      2. “We don’t put Wallace Beery in some fruity movie about suffering! I thought we were together on that!”

    6. Consent is a prickly topic to navigate

      Only if your fundamental belief is that people lack agency.

  27. Posing provocatively in ? and OUT ? of their uniforms with guns and truncheons? female traffic police from Belarus prove to be a very arresting sight in annual calendar

    Racy 2015 calendar released by women traffic officers from Belarus
    The female cops pose in and out of their uniforms in saucy pictures
    Calendar girls are lieutenants, captains and even a major in the force
    It has received a mixed reaction online with some branding it ‘desperate’

    No, no, no, and no.

    1. The makeup is stupid, but they could stop me anytime.

    2. Not into Slavic features, then?

      No one looks good in green lipstick.

      1. They look mannish to me. Then again, most female law enforcement types do.

  28. ‘You messed with the wrong guy!’ Jon Stewart calls out Seth Rollins after the wrestler boasts that he could do a better job of hosting The Daily Show

    A war of words have kicked off between the soon-to-depart Daily Show host and WWE star Rollins who claimed that he could do a better job as host
    ‘Seth Rollins, you’ve made a lot of mistakes in your life,’ said Stewart in a short video posted on Thursday
    WWE fan Stewart warned Rollins that he had stepped ‘in a world of hurt’ and he described himself as ‘160 pounds of dynamite’
    Rollins was quick to tweet back that he is willing to take on the Daily Show host in the ring for a grudge match any time, any place

    I’d pay to see that.

    1. I want so bad to hate Stewart. But he’s funny as hell. It’s just too damn bad he sold out after the Coming of the One.

      1. He can be funny. I don’t hate him. I think he has helped make an entire generation of progs more ignorant, more nasty and less capable of convincing people of their positions. If he had been a Republican mole, he couldn’t have done more damage to their cause.

        1. Same here. He believes what he believes, however misplaced and has influenced way more than I wish he had in the wrong way… but I also believe pretty much every word the ‘judge’ had to say about him as a person.

      2. Oh I think he sold out long before that. It’s just that people like him could appear to be ‘indiscriminately speaking truth to power’ when the GOP ran things. Anyone who didn’t know folk like him would quickly pivot towards defending that power once his man was in charge didn’t live through the Clinton years.

        1. Principals trump principles.

        2. He’s a successful professional entertainer. Selling out is what most of them do.

  29. Oregon State ‘library girl’ who filmed porn scene at her school launches sugar daddy dating site Broke College Girls to help women feel ’empowered’

    Kendra Sunderland, 19, of Corvallis, Oregon, filmed a webcam video in the Oregon State library in which she was topless and touching herself
    Now she is launching a sugar daddy dating site for broke college girls called Date Broke College Girls
    Sunderland’s video was made in October and then uploaded to the popular site PornHub in January, receiving almost 300,000 views in just days
    Sunderland reveals that while her parents are ‘upset’ that their daughter is now known as ‘library girl,’ she thinks this could be her big break
    She has already done a professional photo shoot and says that she has also received numerous other offers in the past week


    1. Sunderland hopes that the hype around the video will help her to launch a modelling career

      I think you mean “‘modelling’ career”, Kendra.

    2. How long until pimps are renamed “Empowered Women Assistants”?

    3. I have no problem with this at all.

    4. I hope she realizes girls like her a dime a dozen in the porn world.

      1. She already has the porn chicklet tattoos.

    1. He had jolly well better be cited for driving on the sidewalk!

      And “Heads Up”, indeed!

    2. The magazine rack is a nice touch

  30. Fingers, Bloody Fingers

    He mentions Django Rienhardt. For those of you poor bastards who didn’t know about him.

  31. About the so-called perversion of Islam:

    The Qur’an forbids pork. The vast majority of Muslims do not eat pork. ISIS members do not eat pork and punish those who do it. The Qur’an forbids alcohol and gambling. The vast majority of Muslims do not drink or gamble and it is illegal in most Muslim countries. ISIS members do not drink or gamble and punish others caught doing it. The Qur’an says adulterers should be stoned to death. That penalty is used by ISIS and many Muslim countries.

    Can someone tell me what exactly ISIS is perverting?

    To draw a parallel, the whole reason gay marriage is political issue in the US is because the US is mostly Christian and both the Old and New Testament condemn homosexuality. In the middle ages, gays were tortured and killed. Later, gays were merely imprisoned for sodomy. Then gay marriage was opposed mainly by Christians. This whole process would not have happened if the Bible said nothing about gay people.

    I am glad that Christianity has been largely defanged over the past 1000 years and hope Islam follows the same path at a much faster pace. That isn’t going to happen so long as people refuse to acknowledge the doctrine.

    1. I think it comes from the fact that most people who identify as Christian, and especially, Jewish, pick and choose what they like from their holy books. Most people in this country have a hard time believing that anyone would really believe that shit and follow it to a T.

      1. and especially, Jewish, pick and choose what they like from their holy books.

        But surely most people have seen one of these guys walking around, right?

        1. It’s a lot easier to wear a goofy hat and uses a weird phone once a week than to stone a blasphemer.

        2. “Sabbath elevators are regular elevators programmed to stop at every floor during the Sabbath, removing the need to push buttons.”

          It is around this point that I start thinking some people carry their religion too far.

          1. Or not far enough. Those Sabbath tricks always seem like a cop-out to me. Isn’t the point that you aren’t supposed to do those things on the Sabbath? It seems like using the phone or elevator is the thing you shouldn’t do, not pushing buttons. religion is weird.

      2. It’s like Leviticus isn’t even in the bible.

      3. It is very weird. ISIS are basically ultra-orthodox Muslims. Can you imagine if someone claimed that ultra-orthodox Jews weren’t Jewish and were perverting Judaism?

        It would be nice to see a Reform Islam movement come out of this, but so many Muslims seem to want to live in denial of the roots of their religion, rather than say “that was the past, this now” in a formal way.

        1. Is there a history of Muslims attempting just that and being stoned to death for their trouble? I wouldn’t be surprised.

          1. There was a Palestinian teacher a few years ago who suggested the Qur’an might need to be interpreted in places. His students threw him out a window.

          2. Given that the Sunnis think Shia are apostates and should be killed over a schism that occurred shortly after Muhammad’s death, I doubt reformers last very long. Although the Sufi have survived quite a while.

        2. I think there are a couple historical problems getting in the way of Islamic Reformation. In the case of Christianity, the prophet taught and ascended as a non-government entity. Jesus never ran a city state and many of his teachings allowed for the fact that people living under various States could still be Christian. The whole ‘render unto Caesar’ sermon is a pretext for being a good Christian within a non-christian state. People trying to emulate Christ don’t have to run a state.

          Islam and the Koran were born out of a ruler of a nation. To emulate its Prophet, some mairrage of religion and state is part of the package. The story of Islam is the story not of a man of the people preaching that there is a heavenly kingdom after death, but rather that a man of the people can create a heavenly kingdom on earth.

          Reformation of Islam is possible, but these foundational differences are much harder to reconcile with a philosophy of separation between church and state.

          1. The same text that commands that all be converted is the same text that says that Muslims living in foreign lands MUST abide by the laws of that land.

          2. People trying to emulate Christ don’t have to run a state.

            The difference between Christianity and Islam is even deeper than you suggest. Jesus was quite explicit about that “My kingdom is not of this world.” Nowhere does the New Testament suggest that Christians should organize a secular government. On the other hand, Islam is inherently political, and demands a state consistent with Shari’a law.

            1. That is true as far as it goes, but it didn’t take Christians very long to start forming governments and running things in the name of their religion. Which is something that seems to happen with any religion that becomes dominant. I think it has more to do with human nature than the specifics of any religion. Though I do agree that Islam is particularly political and violent.

              1. Actually, Constantine co-opted Christianity, not the other way around to advance his political objectives. Of course, lots of churchmen were happy to participate in Constantine’s faith-based initiative.

      4. Well centuries of translations and editing, as well as the fluidity of language and culture, sort of make picking and choosing a necessity.

        I know of no sect of Christianity that actually practices self-mutilation based on what Jesus said in Matthew about cutting off your hand if it causes you to sin.

        1. Or the stuff about giving all your stuff to the poor if you are rich.

          Every time I see a rich preacher, I cannot help but laugh.

          1. Every time I see a rich preacher, I cannot help but laugh.

            Or a faith that was told to pray in a closet building megachurches.

        2. Well if they did, there would be a lot more Christian eunuchs.

          1. The Shakers are the only true Christians!

          2. For a good time, spend a few minutes reading about Boston Corbett, John Wilkes Booth’s assassin.

            It takes a real man to autocastrate and then head straight to church afterwards.

        3. I remember reading some dingbat opinion piece back in 2005 where the author said Christians should feel free to kick ass and takes names because Jesus never told us to be doormats.

          I guess he missed all the stuff about turning the other cheek and blessed are the peacemakers when he watched Veggie Tales.

      5. This is what many Kemalists and modern young Turks do. Drinking, gambling…pretty much everything but the pork, believe it or not.

        1. I know a guy who drinks and all that but will not touch pork. Them pigs got evil spirits in there don’t ya know.

          1. It’s really weird.

            Now, on the other hand, Gulf Arabs will absolutely scarf down the bacon if they’re of sufficiently high social station and they’re well away from the peninsula.

            That and up until recently, at least, whole loads of Saudis would go party in Bahrain every weekend.

            Turks, especially in the cities, party all the time, but just will not touch the cloven hoof.

    2. Can someone tell me what exactly ISIS is perverting?

      Have you checked over at whitehouse.gov?

    3. The Qur’an forbids alcohol and gambling. The vast majority of Muslims do not drink or gamble and it is illegal in most Muslim countries.

      You’ve never been to the southern united states before have you? A place where nearly everyone is a baptist which also forbids those things yet there is a liquor store on every corner and football rules. I’ve been told that a bottle of Jack Daniels in Egypt is worth it’s weight in gold.

      1. Never go fishing with just one Southern Baptist. He’ll drink all your beer.

        1. Wherever there are 4 Baptists, there is a 5th of whiskey.

          Methodists: We’re like Baptists except we can read.

          Episcopals: I Can’t Believe It’s not Catholicism

          I’ll be here all week.

          1. Why don’t Baptists fuck standing up?

            They don’t want anyone to think they’re dancing.

          2. What’s the difference between Baptists and Methodists? Methodists speak when they bump into each other at the liquor store.

    4. Says the guy who is most likely to be enslaved in the Caliphate. At least the Christians can buy their way out!

    5. “This whole process would not have happened if the Bible said nothing about gay people.”

      Is this why Confucian and Hindu countries have recognized gay marriage?

      1. Sigh.

        I think it was pretty clear I was talking about western countries.

        Many other cultures have a much more relaxed attitude to LBGT folks. See berdaches, Greeks (hint: Plato), Romans, Tokugawa Japanese, and Thai lady boys for example.

        1. The Romans used to punish homosexuality with death – at least in the Legions.

    6. Every Guernsey is a cow, but not every cow is a Guernsey.

      Every ISIS fanatic is a Muslim, but not every Muslim is an ISIS fanatic.

      Or the world would be [bleep]ed.

    7. ISIS seems to be murdering people for things you don’t mention. Does the Koran have anything to say on the subject of burning prisoners of war to death? Or beheading a bunch of “people of the book”. I thought they were supposed to tolerate Christians and Jews.

      Anyway, I think that a religion is defined by the actual practice, not a literal reading of their scriptures. So if most of the Muslim world doesn’t consider it right to murder people for eating pork or being Christian, I think it is fair to say that ISIS is in some sense perverting the religion. What did those Egyptian Christians or that girl who just got killed do that the Koran says they (as non-Muslims, but people of the book) ought to be killed for?

      Islam is a rather violent religion that justifies killing innocent people in a lot of situations. That doesn’t mean that it condones all killing of innocent people.

      I’m no fan or defender of Islam, but being all realist about the faith isn’t going to make it go away. Better to encourage the more peaceful ones than to go around telling all Muslims that they are the same as ISIS.

      1. The Qur’an says slay the unbelievers wherever you find them. Christians and Jews are spared only if they pay the jizyah and submit to Muslim rule.

        1. The Old Testament says the same thing.

        2. Well, very few Muslims seem to follow that instruction if that’s really what it says. Almost no Muslims go around killing people because they don’t believe the right things. Even pagans and Hindus and stuff. So I think it is fair to say that that is not part of contemporary, mainstream Islam any more than stoning adulterers to death is part of Judaism or Christianity.

  32. I guess they don’t do math so well.

    But that doesn’t make Keystone less dangerous than train shipments. Trains are more likely than pipelines to have accidents, but their accidents are less environmentally devastating: The International Energy Agency’s eight-year analysis of oil spills found the risk of a spill is six times higher for rail than pipeline shipments, but a pipeline accident spills three times as much oil as a rail shipment.

    Maybe I’m not thinking clearly here, but wouldn’t that make pipelines half as enviromentally devastating?

    1. Yep. But just try getting them to admit that. The last time I tried I was accused of being biased because I have chemical engineering degree so I must be in the pocket of an evil oil company.

      1. You’ll have to take me with a grain of salt. I actually am in the pocket of an evil oil company.

        1. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t be trusting all of the math stuff.

    2. They really might as well have written “but this one goes to 11”.

    3. I’m pretty sure no pipelines have blown up any Canadian towns. That seems like another big mark against trains.

  33. I really hope this is a joke, but I fear it is not:


  34. Charge: Pimp lures Rochester girl, 12, rapes her and sets up ‘dates’ with johns

    A 34-year-old self-described pimp has been charged with tricking a 12-year-old girl to come to a Rochester McDonald’s, then subjecting her to two terrorizing days of rape and sex trafficking in a Twin Cities motel and in western Minnesota during “dates” with johns arranged through Craigslist.


    1. If it were my kid, he would never make it to trial

      1. I wouldn’t do him the favor of killing him. I would blow his kneecaps and elbows off and let him live the rest of his life in prison as a basket case.

      2. That might be a mistake. Do you know what happens to those guys in prison?

        Let them do the dirty work.

    2. There’s a hierarchy in prison and child rapists are at the bottom. I wouldn’t kill him, just let him spend the rest of his life among the general population. Word will travel quickly about what he’s in for.

      1. Eh, I might help that process out a bit. Do a little research, find some mean son of a bitch with a kid that looks a lot like mine, then write him a letter.

    3. See, now that’s sex trafficking. All of these people who want to pretend that all prostitution is horrible “white slavery” have done this poor girl a great disservice by taking the focus off of actual violent, nasty people like this fucker who do exist and are a legitimate problem.

    4. So he’s imitating Bill Clinton and his sick friend basically.

    5. Hey, where’s Old Man with Candy???

  35. I posted this story because there was someone posting a few days ago claiming that this sort of thing is just fiction.

    1. I don’t know how many people claim that this sort of thing is fiction. Even the most fervent free-range promoter will acknowledge that these things happen. It’s just that you’ve got better odds of getting hit by lightning on a sunny day.

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