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The Spoof That Fooled the Associated Press

Happy Presidents' Day!

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The best way to celebrate Presidents' Day is with Dave Mandl's classic essay "Remembering President Zachary Taylor." An excerpt:

Starring Warren Oates as Zachary Taylor

The story of exactly how he acquired the peculiar nickname "muskrat head" has unfortunately been lost, but we do know that he was plagued with it almost from birth. His hatred of the sobriquet only increased with the years, and until the day of his tragic premature death, the mere sight of a muskrat, or the mention of the animal's cursed name, was enough to send him into a fearful rage. When, at the young age of six, he was taunted with the epithet by two schoolmates, Taylor stunned his headmaster by chaining the hapless pranksters to a windmill and feeding them clods of grass until they nearly burst. It was only his millionaire father's hastily arranged donation to the school that avoided an early end of Zachary's academic career….

Notoriously prone to laziness and sloth, Taylor had held office for a little over half a day when he gorged himself on fourteen pounds of French pastries and a jug of Indian corn whiskey and fell asleep face-down in the White House Rose Garden for eighty-six hours. Upon awaking (or, more accurately, being roused with a thorny branch by a terrified servant), he attempted his first official presidential act: the introduction of a bill requiring all visitors to the White House to do the Mexican Hat Dance with his 700-pound sister Rebecca while he, munching on his trademark sack of chocolate donuts, watched. Congress responded to this proposal with precisely zero Yea votes, and so began a stormy and strained relationship that was never to heal. In fact, President Taylor was cruelly razzed whenever he was foolish enough to attempt to address the House of Representatives or the Senate. A favorite prank of many senators was not to show up for the president's addresses at all, but rather to place muskrats, decked out in powdered wigs, in their own seats in their stead. This drove the president to such a state that he eventually began sending his wife in his place whenever he was required to give an address. Mrs. Taylor, of course, was treated with no more respect, once even having a dead muskrat's pelt hurled at her, accompanied by shouts of "At least this one isn't a stupid drunk."

Read the rest here. Watch academic essay-mills treat Mandl's piece as a serious source of information here and here. See an AP reporter make the same mistake here.

Wait—the AP? Really?

Wow. Suddenly my little story about accidentally launching an urban legend doesn't seem so impressive. I bow to you, Mandl.

Bonus link: If you're interested in Taylor's actual life, go here.

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  1. I fucking love Warren Oates. One of the best!

    1. I think Daryl Hall was the true talent.

      1. Ever watch Live from Daryl’s House?

        1. yeah, it’d be way better if he didn’t throw himself into all his guests songs and make them worse.

          1. I would be better if he had better guests.

  2. People couldn’t get to 700 pounds back then.

    1. Prior to the invention of the All You Could Eat Twinkie Buffet one really had to work at it to reach such hefty proportions.

    2. And I’m pretty sure the number 700 was invented in the sixties.

      1. Yes, the number 700 was invented then by Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker.

  3. Lynx? Where are you buddy?
    /president’s day is not a real holiday

    1. Chapman thinks you should embrace the mediocrity of timely links. Sullum wonders where the connection is between pot and morning links. And Walker thinks that morning links are just urban legends.

      1. Soooooo…you’re saying today is an Easter egg Lynx and we have to smoosh all the morning post together for a DIY lynx?

        1. exactly…it’s like Reason commentors become Etsy Makers for a morning

          1. little leather jackets for all your libertarian dogs and teddy bears.

          2. ***AMAZING*** Collection of found objects!

    2. I’m reading reason.com through the Lynx web browser.

      It’s nice as it omits the images altogether and goes straight to the alt-text. Cutting out the middleman!

  4. The post that fooled those refreshing for the AM Links

    1. I prefer this. I was on vacation last week and mostly ignored H&R. I’d like a few more minutes of calm before I begin hating the world again.

      1. I like to take breaks too – H&R makes me even more cynical; something I never thought possible.

  5. We get muskrats today? Reason is out of lynx?

    1. If you want lynx instead of muskrat, you’ll need to shop around.

      1. America’s version isn’t so bad.

        1. Well, it is the original.

  6. he gorged himself on fourteen pounds of French pastries and a jug of Indian corn whiskey and fell asleep face-down in the White House Rose Garden for eighty-six hours.

    GREATEST AMERICAN STATESMAN EVER.

    1. Sounds like a few parties I have been to. Except he didn’t get naked.

      1. The only time I was drunk enough not to realize I was naked was New Orleans. Luckily I wasn’t arrested.

      2. no one was ever naked then. they bathed in waistcoats.

    2. And the only one I’m related to.

      Yay!

  7. It’s not “Presidents’ Day”, it’s still George Washington’s Birthday. There’s no such thing as “Presidents’ Day”. That was some silly, meaningless proclamation Richard Nixon issued a bunch of years ago.

    And Obama is no Zachary Taylor, much less George Washington.

    1. Maybe a James Buchanan?

      1. Buchanan was the first President never to get married. There is speculation about the reason, but I can give the reason in one word: Cows.

        1. I like cows.

          1. BS!

            We know you really are one of those dirty Melrose-ites Tundra

            http://tinyurl.com/nagasdz

            I laugh at that sign every time I drive past it on my way back to my ancestral lands.

            1. Yes, that sign is a source of great amusement during eastbound road trips.

              Working today, Holiness?

              1. Yup. And I’m regretting it. My old job would have given me the day off with pay.

                Of course the kids are home too, so maybe the office isn’t such a bad place to hide out.

  8. Since we don’t seem to be getting any Mourning Lynx today:

    Louis Jourdan, 1921-2015

    You may remember him as the bad guy from the James Bond movie Octopussy.

    1. I definitely remember Maud Adams.

      1. I remember Jordan as the beau from the movie Gigi. But he wasn’t the guy who opened the film singing the pedophile anthem “Thank Heaven for Little Girls”. That was Maurice Chevalier.

    2. I remember him as the bad guy from Swamp Thing. He was a pretty good bad guy.

      1. There was a guy in Swamp Thing? Huh.

        1. Just to the left of Barbeau’s cleavage, yes.

          1. there’s nothing to the left of her cleavage…as wide as the day is long.

  9. it’s like Reason commentors become Etsy Makers for a morning

    *rummages through dumpster*

  10. Oh, and it was -8F here this morning.

    1. Haha, sucker. It’s been mid-to-high 50s and sun for days better in the Land of Perpetual Rain…

      1. *here

  11. Watch academic essay-mills treat Mandl’s piece as a serious source of information here and here.

    Ummm, I read those essays and I suspect there’s more than a bit of tongue in cheek.

    1. On a family trip to the zoo, Taylor was escorting a young lady. The girl unknowingly and innocently pointed at a family of muskrats, referring to them as queer-looking beasts . Zack was infuriated. He then turned monkeys, tropical birds, an alligator, and an antelope loose, and hurled a peanut vendor s stand into a mud hole.

      Zachary Taylor was also known for his strange behavior. He liked to hide from no one in particular in a wagon of rotten vegetables and paint his beard blue. He once set a local paper mill on fire. He liked to lure unsuspecting girls into his secret clubhouse , located in the sub-basement of the Taylor home. On religious holidays, he enjoyed dressing like a giant purple butterfly.

      1. Wow, he was kind of a latter-day, wackier Chuck Norris to them.

      2. Ummm, I read those essays and I suspect there’s more than a bit of tongue in cheek.

        Only because they ripped off Mandl’s original tongue-in-cheek essay.

    1. So divine!

  12. Rutherford B. Hayes, by C. T. Robot

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtFLwTYa-_k

    After he retired he founded the original ZZ Top with James Garfield and Chester Alan Arthur. He shocked the world with a publicity stunt, when on a bet, he made a tent out of the underwear of William Howard Taft and lived inside for a full year. In later years Hayes retired from the stage and did many memorable character parts in Hollywood. Who could forget the time he was slapped by Jacqueline Bisset in the 1971 Universal movie “Airport”?

    And then, after inventing ringworm, Hayes died. His last words were, “I have only one life to live, so let me live it as a blonde.”

  13. So even the links get the day off?

  14. it was -8F here this morning.

    [inset obligatory chastisement regarding distinction between “weather” and “climate”]

  15. And the name of that AP reporter? Haywood Jablome.

    1. And the publisher of the AP is named Kiss My Ass.

      Oops, did I step all over your joke?

    2. No, no, no. Jablome is the guy shoveling snow in Fargo.

      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/…..04876.html

      1. Of course the Fargo Foolum also did a story with Stu Podasso. Maybe they like the fake names up there.

        http://sayanythingblog.com/ent…..u_podasso/

  16. When Dumbya was president the economy collapsed, we were in two losing wars, crude oil hit $147/bbl, DHS was built into a monster, domestic spying began in violation of the 4th Amendment, we tortured people picked off the street, TARP cost $700 billion to patch the banks up, bankruptcies hit highs in dollar terms, the deficit hit a trillion bucks – GOOD TIMES!

    1. It’s Zachary Taylor’s fault!

      1. BUT OBAMA IS A KENYAN MUSLIM SOCIALIST!

        1. no, a kenseyian socialist. let’s be honest. He’s also a tool.

          1. Wingnut talk. There is not a shred of evidence of that. In fact the biggest socialist bill of my life (when TARP bought all the preferred stock in the biggest nine banks by force) – Obama reveresed that bill with SCAP.

            Remember socialism is when the government owns the means of production.

            1. yes, like owning big portions of major automakers? Like subsidizing (and owning, but default) big parts of mandated green energy manufacturers? and someone else signing TARP (and to say scap reversed it is a jokingly partisan view) doesn’t mean he’s not a kenseyian socialist. Just because he’s failed at doing a lot of it… all socialists eventually fail.

              1. …all socialists eventually fail.

                Bingo. And, yet, they continue to believe that the right combination of top. men. will reverse the embarrassing 100% historical failure rate.

                Morons.

              2. The GM bailout began in 2008 and now the Obama administration is selling the public’s GM stock. It has completely sold all our AIG and Citigroup stock for nice profits.

                There is nothing socialist about this administration. It is just wingnut ignorance.

                Keynesian? Yes. All presidents are.

                1. What you’ve just said… is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever seen. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having seen it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul…

                2. selling for profit means it was owning, right?
                  Dec. 31, 2008. GM receives $13.4 billion in short-term financing through the Troubled Asset Relief Program.

                  April 22, 2009. The Obama Administration provided $2 billion working capital loan to GM.

                  May 20, 2009. Another $4 billion is added to the loan.

                  June 1, 2009. GM files for bankruptcy reorganization.

                  June 3, 2009, in conjunction with the bankruptcy filing, the Obama Administration provides a $30.1 billion debtor-in-possession loan.

                  June 8, 2009. GM kicked off the list of 30 companies comprising the Dow Jones Industrial Average.

                  July 10, 2009. GM exits bankruptcy.

                  April 20, 2010. GM makes its final loan repayment. Government holds a 61% stake in common and preferred stock.

                  Nov. 18, 2010. General Motors becomes a public company again. U.S. Treasury reaps $13.5 billion in conjunction
                  with the new company’s IPO, reducing its stake to 33%.

                  Dec. 15, 2010. GM repurchases all of Treasury’s preferred stock

                  Dec. 21, 2012. GM repurchases 200 million shares of common stock from Treasury, which announces
                  it will sell all of its GM shares over up to 15 months on the open market.

                  Dec. 9, 2013. The last of four stock sales is completed. The government has no remaining GM shares.

                  That timeline seems to show the Bush administration having a horrible idea to give a loan. Then the obama administration exacerbating that idea- and losing a lot of money. All socialists eventually sell or lose ownership. It is a losing philosophy.

                  1. She canna handle this timeline captain! She wasn’t made for tha stresses of havin’ ta think!

      2. Don’t answer it. It knows that the economic collapse wasn’t related to Bush’s policies. It knows Obama is engaged in global policing to an extreme degree and that we’re about to become re-embroiled in the Iraq War. It knows that Obama has engaged in multiple military interventions and that the drop in gas prices has occurred despite Obama’s refusal to open federal land for drilling.

        It knows all these things. It does not care because it lives under a bridge and eats billy goats.

        1. Bush policies contributed a good deal to the collapse. For instance his regulators dropped the Net Capital Rule so investment banks could leverage without limits.

          Would a collapse have happened if Kerry had been POTUS 2005-08? Of course one would have.

          But if Kerry had won in 2004 there never would have been a Dem victory in 2008.

          1. and think of how much better your world would be then.

          2. Re: Palin’s Buttplug,

            Bush policies contributed a good deal to the collapse. For instance his regulators dropped the Net Capital Rule so investment banks could leverage without limits.

            There’s an actual rule to leveraging investments besides simple, common financial sense?

            Will wonders never cease.

            By the way, the only reason banks would leverage beyond their capability of repayment is not because regulators are sitting in their desks watching porn (which they do to this fucking day, you naive fool) but because of the Federal Reserve’s loose monetary policies. It is EASY CREDIT which fuels ALL bubbles, whoever the president happens to be.

    2. Will someone please notify the hospital? PB’s off his meds again. They really need to crack down on that stuff.

    3. Remember when Booosh was opposed to the creation of DHS? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

      1. Remember when you hit that homeless man with your car and left him for dead? Pepperidge farms remembers. You run out and buy some cookies and maybe pepperidge farms will keep their mouth shut.

    4. No one said anything about BOOOOSHHHH until you came in and decided to start flinging shit like a retarded chimp.

      I liked you better before you turned into a obsessed asshole who insists on shitting up threads talking about a former president that everyone pretty much despises in a pathetic attempt to distract people from any and all critism of your chocolate man crush.

      Oh wait, you never were anything but a obsessed asshole, nevermind. Why don’t you go back to masterbating on your cumsoaked Shepard Fairey poster in your mom’s basement, you fucking cockstain.

      1. Copied from a comment I made on FB about a similar post:

        “At the very least, Bush prosecuted and even jailed the chiselers responsibility for the Enron/accounting scandal. Corzine is out pimping Hilary fer Prez.

        But what I really hate is the Blue Team snorkeling that makes me have to defend GWMF BUSH! So bitter I am, so bitter.”

    5. And Obama took the final Bush budget (including emergency, one-time TARP funds) and made it the new baseline.

  17. Meet the supercentarians and learn their secrets.

  18. Looks like we’re not getting links, so I’ll just put my thoughts on Bo’s Scott Walker college degree obsession here:

    1. In the other thread, he whined that we’re hypocrites because we all have college degrees but say they don’t matter. Problem: The reason we all have college degrees is because it’s been made the bare minimum requirement for white collar employment due to flawed government policy. If I didn’t need the degree, I wouldn’t have gotten it and I’d be no less intelligent today without my college diploma. In Walker’s case, he got a job without the degree, which is why he left school. Given that the reason you get a degree is to get a job, it’s fucking idiotic to criticize Walker for choosing to work rather than waste an additional semester on a degree. He was already getting employment offers. Why wait?

    2. Walker went to school for 3.5 semesters. He left one semester before graduation. Unless Bo thinks there’s something magical that occurs in the last semester of college that turns you from a bumpkin to a genius, I’m not entirely sure why in his mind that half a semester makes the difference between competence and idiocy.

    1. The end of your senior year is when they initiate the smart seniors into the Bilderbergers.

      I guess you didn’t know.

    2. The real question is if you really think Bo actually believes half the shit he trolls this board with.

      1. It’s not a question.

      2. Of course I believe it.

        Which if these premises are not true:

        1. Most management jobs in the US say ‘degree required or preferred’?
        2. The vast majority of statewide officeholders have a bachelors degree or higher?
        3, Perceived competence is important in politics

        My points on this come from these simple, accurate premises.

        What’s happened is a perfect storm of 1. Walker being attacked by teh ‘progs’ and MSM’ 2. Conservative leaning folks latching on to Walket as the Great GOP not-Bush of the moment and 3. Those here whose favorite flavor of libertarianism is ‘what progs hate’ producing a groupthink wave of uncritical defense of Walker that is delusional and which must be protected from critique as it’s so very fragile.

        How delusional is this getting? On the same threads defending Walkers dropping out we see people saying ‘they’re so scared of Walker cuz they could never hang the Socon label on him!’ Really, the guy who couldn’t say whether evolution is true? Yeah, can’t paint that guy as a Socon!

        Delusional.

        1. Most management jobs in the US say ‘degree required or preferred’?

          1. “preferred” means not required.

          2. For ANY job in the private sector, its not necessary to meet all the listed requirements. 50% is generally enough. If it says “5 years experience”, you need 2. “3 years” equals straight out of school. Anyone who has ever interviewed for positions knows this.

          1. 1. And a major national party might want to prefer it in their national candidate. I mean really, there are lots of people out there who take all the stands Walker does AND have better records in this. Why settle?

            2. Anyone who has ever interviewed that the more you meet or surpass the criteria without being very overqualified increased your prospects.

            1. And a major national party might want to prefer it in their national candidate. I mean really, there are lots of people out there who take all the stands Walker does AND have better records in this. Why settle?

              This is Grade A concern trolling. Bravo.

          2. Some of the dumbest people I ever worked for were credentialed assholes with useless college degrees (B.As mostly) and a belief their pedigree was what made them smart, effective, and in charge. Most were promoted because of their incompetence (out of a job that they were causing damage in) or their connections.

            One of the greatest people I ever worked for/with left college after 1 semester because they felt it was a giant waste of time. The person made the argument that they didn’t feel obligated to hock their financial future to spend 4 years partying and then go out less prepared and handicapped into the real world.

            College is a necessity for people that study in a field that requires a lot of specialization (engineering, medicine, law, finance, science). You need to get the knowledge somewhere. But these days college is a rip-off for people doing soft stuff (practically every BA degree). You pay way too much and get way too little in return.

            Credentialed elites however need to keep the illusion that a college degree is a must. Worse yet, they have a need to make people believe that an ivy league degree is something you want for whatever reason. How well have these fucking useless credentialed elites been doing running the country, huh? I say it is time we try a can-do person over one that feel entitled because they went to the right schools.

            1. It’s called graduating magna cum stupid.

          3. 1. “preferred” means not required.

            Technically, this is true. But not so in terms of application. Companies can say “preferred” so as to avoid any charge of discrimination even though the degree is a requirement, if for no other reason than to cull the herd of applicants.

            1. Considering required means preferred, preferred means entirely optional.

        2. If you are in your 40’s, 50’s or 60’s and still trading on your degree, you’ve screwed up somewhere. Most degrees are worthless within 5 years of leaving college.

          1. I say pat that first job interview, they are worthless and what you have done becomes more important.

        3. 3, Perceived competence is important in politics

          Yes, because electing ivy league law school grads with no proven track record of executive accomplishment has worked out soooo well…

        4. You are getting pretty delusional Bo (Derek). But you have a nice rack.

    3. You get an official stamped document that says you are a genius now. As we all know, official stamped documents change reality.

      1. +1 cohabitation license.

      2. It worked in The Wizard of Oz.

    4. I left grad school because I got a job. As it was an IT job, and I was pursuing a CS masters, I had no degree in my field. The undergrad NukE degree was basically worthless.

      Not much different than Walker, just at a different level.

      1. Don’t despair your not qualified for a political career anyway.

        1. Ive tried my best to make sure I had no chance.

          1. posting on this forum is a good way to ensure you have baggage.

            1. True!

          2. “Mr. Robc, what is your relationship with one Mr. Warty Hugeman? And were you aware of his rape-n-squat dungeon?”

        2. If nominated he would not run, and if elected he would not serve. Right rob?

          1. Fuck Bruce Jenner, this guy is an american hero, the fact that statues aren’t being built in his honor across the country is a travesty.

            1. Cutting the fat, as it were?

              Two Chris Christies could hide out in that guy’s stomach and still leave room Donald Trump’s ego.

      2. IT is great like that. I’ve been working for almost 20 years with no degree in anything. And I’m not talking a minimum wage job either.

    5. I went through the graduation ceremony only to find I’d gotten a D is Statistics and Probabilities, which is a failing grade as far as my CS major was concerned. Nevertheless I got a job, and two years later I let it slip that I was one class short of an actual degree. My boss was faced with a choice between admitting to his superiors that he didn’t do a full background check, or fudging the paperwork to let me take the class with reimbursement.

      I took the class.

    6. some observations:

      I know several guys and gals who just have a GED. They couldn’t stand school. Some of them I wouldn’t call dumb.

      Computer Science – my degree – is pretty much laughable. I think that you can program or you can’t. No amount of schooling can change that. Could it improve one’s ability? Perhaps. But one of the better programmers I know is a dropout from upper level academics – neurology. He never took a computer science class in his life.

      My old man dropped out of college and became a shoe clerk so he could support his family – wife and child on the way. He went on to make a nice pot of cash in management, retired at age 55, and lives on Lake Michigan. Back in the 50s/60s/70s, ability seemed to matter more than credentials.

      1. I found my CS degree to be quite useful. Sure any monkey who knows the basic control structures can program, but it helps to know underlying principles and concepts. Kinda like how my wife can cook by following a recipe, while I put to use the principles and concepts I learned in cooking school to make things she couldn’t imagine.

        1. Not so much with me – but I had been programming since age ten. Back then – hello 16 to 64k of memory – best practices were required since anything else would take up too much space.

          I don’t, however, consider myself a “great programmer” since it just doesn’t interest me all that much… just a way to make a paycheck.

          I look at programming the same way as building an amplifier, fixing a car, or doing any sort of project – breaking down the job into component parts and figuring out the best way to solve the problem at hand.

        2. I found a few of the CS classes useful. Theory is nice that way. On the other hand, being a DBA taught me way more about databases than the one database class.

          1. I got my MIS (information and library science). It was useful to get in the door and take the profession by storm- 34 and director for one of the fastest growing cities in the nation, doing things not done, etc.

            However, it’s a useless degree that I learned nothing in. I’m just a natural badass.

          2. My databases class was perhaps one of the most useful classes I took. I continually amaze our DBA when I figure things out that most of the other developers would need his help with.

      2. I have a degree in EE. I ended up as a software developer and have loved it. I totally agree that schools do a terrible job of producing developers.

        At my last start up we had a rule that we wouldn’t hire any CS majors because they were always missing the forest because of the trees. They were always trying to come up with an elegant solution instead of just breaking the process into discrete tasks and making a deadline.

        The other problem with most college trained developers is that they spent all their time in school coming up with solutions for when things go perfect. Then when we get them they are confused when we are reviewing their code and start asking them what happens when the network goes down and other random errors. They don’t realize that in the real world handling exceptions is 90% of your job. I’m into logging like Warty is into squats. MOAR!

        1. That must depend on the school. My degree was quite useful and emphasized breaking down large problems into solvable parts.

      3. +1 Bill Gates……

    7. *7.5 semesters

      1. DOH!

        *7 semesters

      2. Yeah. I obviously meant 3.5 years.

    8. we’re hypocrites because we all have college degrees but say they don’t matter

      Before I went to college I thought it was some grand place of enlightenment. After actually experiencing college, I realized it is a rent seeking enterprise where little educating occurs.

      1. ^^^THIS^^^

    9. Irish, the main thing employers want from the college degree requirements they have is a sign a person can commit to a multi year goal with many hoops and achieve it. Of course they also hope some education and skills that might be valuable are learned along the way. So your (and others, it’s like canned memo point the way it’s been suddenly repeated so much today alone) retort about 3.5 years done before dropping out, far from undercutting that point, actually highlights it.

      I actually think Walker had a fine reason for not finishing. I know lots of people with degrees that are fools and people without that are bright and competent. But that doesn’t mean that in general that achievement is not a valuable thing, and more importantly in politics, it’s widely perceived as a valuable thing by many people. That’s why it’s so very unusual for high office seekers to lack one.

      1. I have no degree in anything, I do just fine as an Electronics Technician.
        My friend has a masters in EE, he is un-employed because there are no jobs that pay well enough for his tastes, he feels that the world owes him a “well paid” job because he went to school and graduated with a 3.7GPA.
        Who has more intelligence, the guy who applies his useful skills where they can be employed or the petulant child who wont work because of some idea of entitlement?

    10. Walker went to school for 3.5 semesters. He left one semester before graduation. Unless Bo thinks there’s something magical that occurs in the last semester of college that turns you from a bumpkin to a genius, I’m not entirely sure why in his mind that half a semester makes the difference between competence and idiocy.

      That last semester is when Bo almost lost his virginity to that deaf, blind, retarded, quadriplegic girl, so it’s very special to him. Too bad, she came around, Bo.

      1. Talk about having nothing

      2. Hang in there Bo, it’ll happen.

        1. Francis I realize given your condition you’d like to deny the importance of finishing, but most people might find it important.

        2. Most Aspies eventually lose their virginity, so the odds are with you.

          1. What are waiting for then Francis? Have to be an outlier on this too I guess.

          2. Hey, that’s not fair to aspies. I know plenty that get laid (admittedly most of them are gay, which tends to dramatically increase your getting-laid chances).

    11. So did Walker ever lie about having a degree? If not, who the fuck cares? Clearly the voters in WI didn’t care enough to not vote for him.

    12. If I didn’t need the degree, I wouldn’t have gotten it and I’d be no less intelligent today without my college diploma.

      What shitty college did you go to that hands out degrees without teaching people anything?

      1. What shitty college did you go to that hands out degrees without teaching people anything?

        Wait, wait, I think I know this one. Is it …… Harvard?

  19. NEEDZ MOAR CHRISTAGZ

  20. tuping is hsrd.

  21. Bloomberg Interactive:

    America is shaking its oil addiction.

    http://www.bloomberg.com/graph…..addiction/

    All great stuff. I know that pessimism is the rule here – fuck that. I like reality.

    1. Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece o’ shit, or did you have to work on it?

    2. Re: Peter Caca,

      Your lack of concern for the fact that a supposedly serious journalistic piece calls the normal use of fossil fuels an “addiction” is concerning.

  22. In Walker’s case, he got a job without the degree, which is why he left school. Given that the reason you get a degree is to get a job, it’s fucking idiotic to criticize Walker for choosing to work rather than waste an additional semester on a degree.

    Don’t you get it? Not having a degree negates everything Walker has ever done. He stole his entire life from some much more deserving person who stuck it out to the finish line, and HAS A DEGREE!

    1. Credentialism is just another manifestation of the left’s obsession with animism.

      1. Or finishing things

        1. Because finishing a degree, even if it means giving up an opportunity that may never be seen again, shows superior judgement. I guess that could be debatable, but in a case like that I think it’s up to the individual (as opposed to some Botard idiot sitting on the sidelines).

        2. ….Just like Obama finished Iraq?

      2. Credentialism is just another manifestation of the left’s obsession with animism.

        I think it’s not animism so much as a method of signaling one’s worth to others. In general, notable acheivements are hard or require a person to be somewhat inventive.

        But, a college degree is fairly straight forward; you give them money; they give you a plan of study; and no special cleverness is required to come out the end with the degree.

        An animist would believe that the physical diploma grants special powers, that’s not what is happening here.

        Rather, the people complaining about Walker are trying to
        a) paint him as a failure
        b) boost the value of their diploma’s as a signal of their worth.

        1. An animist would believe that the physical diploma grants special powers, that’s not what is happening here.

          Maybe not in this case, but in general they do. Look how Tony talks about climate scientists, as if their degrees give them magical powers of divination.

          1. You do have a point. I remember joe dumping on Henry Hazlitt as being a mere journalist unfit to critique Keynes, in part because Hazlitt dropped out of college to become a journalist.

            1. Or how Tony mocks those of us with degrees in applied science as not having sufficient magical paper to comment on the “science” of climate change.

              1. It’s not my bachelors degree (with honors!) in Physics from a top tier school – not even my having taken newtonian dynamics from a Nobel Prize winner(!) – that makes me a better judge of the what the evidence is saying regarding the Earth’s climate…

                It’s what I learned about the scientific method and more importantly the common bullshit workarounds used by people trying to torture uncooperative evidence to back pet theories that makes me a competent judge.

                The egalitarian nature of science – that *anyone* regardless of credentials or degrees – can analyze and pass judgement on hypotheses regardless of authorities pulling a Free Waterfall Jr style tantrum can be very confusing to people who believe that the natural order of things should be that there are people who give orders and people who obey them.

                1. It’s what I learned about the scientific method and more importantly the common bullshit workarounds used by people trying to torture uncooperative evidence to back pet theories that makes me a competent judge.

                  aye

          2. Quite the opposite. Meanwhile you still claim you’re smarter than all of them and that we should just trust you, because, I guess, of all the brilliance you crap onto this thread all the time. Tell me again about the principles vs. principals thing. I don’t know that I’ve quite got that down.

            1. Meanwhile you still claim you’re smarter than all of them…

              Um, no. I claim that their smarts are being compromised by their faith in the AGW doomsday cult, resulting in confirmation bias that is easy to see by someone like me who lacks their faith. Smarts has nothing to do with it.

              1. You are a fucking brick wall.

        2. As one of my better university profs liked to point out, university credentialism seems surprisingly similar to European nobility titles. Spend a great deal of money, get a title to staple onto your name for prestige.

          1. I’m sorry none of you went to a good university where people learn things.

            1. Ha, Tony’s so stupid he thinks the one of the top 25 universities in the world isn’t good.

              1. One of the top 25 universities in the world gives out degrees without teaching people anything?

                1. Or in your typically arrogant fashion you assumed that I didn’t go to a good university when I went to one of the best, and frankly both the experience and the students there made any claims of a correlation between university and actual skills/abilities very suspect.

                  But if you do take university education that seriously, you’ll have to bow to my superior educational credentials and opinion regardless. Remember Tony, experts are your superiors. Where’d you go, Brown?

    2. The real question is this: Why has Walker become the great anti-Jeb hope?

      Ol’ Jeb is scaring the piss out of the small anti-Bush GOP faction. So sure – they need to push an alternative. But why Walker? Is he the best you have?

      1. i don’t think that’s a question anyone but you has ever asked…

      2. Who are you even talking to?

        1. Libertarians are just Republicans who smoke pot. Everyone knows this.

          1. What about Libertarians who are really Anarchists who believe in capitalism?

    3. They got nuthin’ against Walker except this ridiculous ad hominem that they pulled out of thin air. It shows they know their ass is kicked already. I like it.

      Walker wouldn’t be my first choice but I can live with him.

      1. “pulled out of thin air”

        Can you name the other governors with no college degree for me?

        Because maybe rather than pulling it out of thin air they actually reported on an unusual thing? You know, what news does?

        Of course when you embrace victimhood and denial of your own shortcomings then paranoid convictions about all the institutions out to sabotage you and your groups and their leaders success usually comes attached to that…

        1. Can you name the other governors with no college degree for me?

          Lester Maddox dropped out of HS shortly before graduation. He did later finish HS via correspondence courses.

          Not that I consider him a model or anything, but literally the first governor I looked up that I thought might not have a college degree barely had a HS degree.

          1. You realize having to look it up and finding one from the 70s is kind of proving my point.

            1. See below, found one from the 90s on the second look.

            2. And no, I have no idea how a governor from the 70s proves your point.

              Nothing has changed in governing in that time frame.

              I am 2 for 2 in finding governors who didnt have college degrees IN MY LIFETIME.

              1. Ive intentionally avoided 18th century governors or something, but my lifetime is entirely fair game.

                1. Interesting that the 3 states Ive lived in in my life are KY, GA and WI and all 3 have had a non-college graduate governor in that span.

              2. It proves that it’s very unusual when you have to hunt and find two, none of which are current.

                1. What hunting, literally the first 2 I looked up off the top of my head as possibilities.

                  Just scanned thru governors I knew of in states I have lived, and thought “Does he have a degree?” Those two popped to mind as “probably not”.

                  1. There are at any time 50 governors. In your lifetime we are talking hundreds of governors . You’ve noted two, both non current. You can’t see how that bolster rather than undercuts my point that it’s very unusual to have a governor without?

                    1. You know what would be unusual? Hearing the average American say “that guy would make a great president, too bad he doesn’t have a degree though.”

                    2. Pretty sure that’s what they said about Lincoln. Or maybe it was just a TV commercial.

                    3. Three off the top of my head is far from “unusual”.

                      I know nothing about Alaska or Idaho governors, which I imagine have an even higher rate.

                      Not very common, sure. Its a low percentage, but not unusual. Just like in many fields. Most IT workers have a degree or some sort, but I know enough that dont to not find it unusual. Its a low percentage, but not crazy low.

                      I know of 3 from 3 states over 45 years. I figure about 30 governors total from those 3 states. And there are probably another 1-2 from those states that I missed. So we are probably talking ~15% of governors without a college degree.

                      That seems high, but maybe not.

                    4. 1 of 10 from KY in my lifetime. I checked the rest.

                      Since almost all of the other 9 (I think 8) graduated from the University of Kentucky, Im not sure that counts. I will let SugarFree make that call.

                2. And all those degreed govs are doing such a bang up job, eh Bo. You are a fucking moron.

        2. Re: Bo Cara Esq,

          Can you name the other governors with no college degree for me?

          It was the implied accusation that was pulled out of thin air, not the fact that he chose not to finish college. The WaPo wanted to insinuate that there was something other than mere choice behind the fact that Walker did not finish college. There is also the implication that only college graduates are smart, despite ample evidence of the contrary (like Shriek and Tony, for instance.)

          1. That insinuation was risible, I’ll concede. His reason for dropping out was perfectly ordinary and reasonable.

            1. Re: BO Cara Esq.

              Exactly. It was.

              Walker can perfectly finish his courses, get his degree and shut up his detractors once and for all. At the same time, one has to wonder about the pernicious notion that only academic eggheads who never worked a single day of their lives are fit to rule over us, the little people.

              1. +1 Woodrow Wilson

              2. No human is fit to rule me except myself, thank you very much.

        3. There’s been several Presidents without a college degree. A couple of them are on Mt Rushmore.

  23. 5 inches over night and still coming down hard. I’m interested to see how Bowling Green handles it. I think not well.

    1. That’s what she said (somewhat disappointedly)?

  24. I know several guys and gals who just have a GED. They couldn’t stand school. Some of them I wouldn’t call dumb.

    This is the thing. I have worked with, and been around, a lot of people who never set foot on a college campus, but were as smart in terms of raw intelligence as anybody I ever went to school with. They had better things to do with their lives than be bossed around by useless prissy snobs like like MNG junior.

    And I’d rather have any one of them with me to solve a practical problem in the real world than a phalanx of college professors.

    1. that’s the argument that’s as old as the nation- right? Educated vs Able? Not many are both, not all are either. It’s the american folksy tradition. Lincoln’s country lawyer to Jefferson’s intellectual.

    2. Some people are good at learning while others need to be taught.

    3. Out of all the people I knew in high school, the guy who’s the most successful has no university degree and never spent a cent on school. Right out of high school he started working for a security software firm, then a couple years later started his own software company. Guy’s a perfect mix of business savvy and technically inclined. He hated the classroom environment of high school and did not do well academically speaking, but that proves absolutely nothing in regards to his actual skills and abilities.

  25. I’m interested to see how Bowling Green handles it. I think not well.

    A billion years ago, when I was in grade school, my family moved to Owensboro from upstate New York. We were all amazed at how a couple of inches of snow could bring the whole place to a standstill.

    1. i heard in only takes a few inches to knock a lot of people up there off their feet, if you know what I mean…

    2. I know! we regularly get at least a foot if not more everyday when its snowing and we all still go to work driving 70 down the highway… its like they dont teach anyone else how to operate a car in the entire state outside of CNY let alone the rest of the country.

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  27. Amish buggy doing donuts! Or, as we called them when I was a yute: “shitties”

  28. Public sector job creation/loss Bush vs Obama.

    http://www.calculatedriskblog……-jobs.html

    1. Palin’s Buttplug|2.16.15 @ 10:42AM|#
      Turd lies. That’s what turd does. Turd lies.

      1. Your Team Red hero vastly expanded govt – admit it.

        1. “Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people!”

        2. has anyone ever denied this on these threads? Ever? Also, other than denying that he’s anyone’s hero, since he’s not.

          1. Why do you engage it? It’s as pointless as engaging the Bo-bot.

        3. Palin’s Buttplug|2.16.15 @ 10:53AM|#
          “Your Team Red hero vastly expanded govt – admit it.”

          Turd lies. That’s what turd does; turd lies.

          1. Sevo, while I find your love for shriek baffling, I now accept that it isn’t going away.

            All I ask is that you find it in your heart to use less unappealing words when you feed it. We end up reading your comments too. I’m sure it will respond just as favorably when you call it bitsy pookums or snoogy-woogy as when you lovingly call it “turd”. It’s not sentient, so it has no idea what the various words you use mean anyway.

            As a favor to we who don’t share your weird paraphilia.

    2. “Direct government employment fails to capture the full impact of government spending on state labor markets.”

      To determine that “full impact,” Hall and Greene estimated the number of jobs in each state that are funded by federal contract dollars and added them to the number of actual public employees in that state. When they did that, they found that public-sector employment grew by almost 3.5 million jobs to a national average of 19.2 percent of the workforce. In other words, nearly one-fifth of all workers in the United States are employed either directly or indirectly by government.

      From their research, Hall and Green concluded that a full 41 of 50 states experienced reductions in private-sector jobs between 2007, the onset of the recession, and 2012. Only eight states experienced growth in private-sector employment during that time period, and of those, just three saw increases of more than two percent. One state’s (Oklahoma) private-sector employment did not change.

      http://www.thenewamerican.com/…..ost-states

  29. http://www.businessinsider.com…..z3RvHzr4tk
    Greece figures the EU has loaned them enough that they hold the trump hand:
    “Greece’s finance minister says the country won’t back down in crucial negotiations”

    And, natch, the appeal is the poor, poor people:
    “Certainly that is what he appears to be hinting at with his examples of the “hungry in the streets of our cities” and the “stressed middle class” of Greece.
    Not mentioning that they took all that loan money and bought themselves ‘free lunches’ for the last generation.

    1. Why should the Germans care that the Greek government has brought the Greek people to ruin? I expect the Germans to tell the Greeks to fuck right off.

  30. It’s a good thing Shreeek is here to tell me how awful BOOOOOOOSH was.

    I could never have figured it out on my own.

    1. there is obviously as school of thought that thinks if someone else shoots you, it’s ok to stab you. I mean, the shooting is WAY WORSE, so you shouldn’t complain about being stabbed. I mean, it’s just a stabbing. Why aren’t we still talking about that guy who shot you?

    2. All REAL libertarians are Democrats. If you aren’t a Democrat, then you aren’t a libertarian therefore you are a Republican.

      1. I was a registered D until 2007, when I registered as an R in order to vote for Ron Paul in the 2008 primary.

        I remained an R to support Rand in the 2010 primary, Ron in the 2012 primary and Rand in 2016.

        1. Wally Wilkinson was a college dropout.

          Im now 2 for 2.

          1. This was supposed to be a reply to my Lester Maddox post, not this post.

            Sigh.

        2. There you go proving shreek’s point. You only hate Obama because you’re a Republican stooge.

  31. Mankato man jailed for months for having what turned out to be vitamins

    http://www.startribune.com/local/292064491.html

    1. I’m sure he’ll be getting some restitution from his captors’ bank accounts, right?

      1. If by “captor’s bank accounts” you mean “the taxpayers” – sure, why not.

        1. Taxpayers are the assholes who voted to make this kind of shit happen so yeah fuck em

          1. Well, I don’t think they voted for that, specifically. They probably voted on a single issue like most people and that came with.

    2. Over the weekend I saw part of the first episode of SNL. George Carlin was the host and did some standup, including a bit about how if you take vitamins with you when traveling the cops can use it to mess with you, throw you in jail while they get them tested.

      Nice to see how much things have changed in the last 40 years.

  32. “Notoriously prone to laziness and sloth, Taylor had held office for a little over half a day when he gorged himself on fourteen pounds of French pastries and a jug of Indian corn whiskey and fell asleep face-down in the White House Rose Garden for eighty-six hours.He attempted his first official presidential act: the introduction of a bill requiring all visitors to the White House to do the Mexican Hat Dance with his 700-pound sister Rebecca while he, munching on his trademark sack of chocolate donuts, watched. Congress responded to this proposal with precisely zero Yea votes, and so began a stormy and strained relationship that was never to heal.”

    Asleep for 86 hours–it must have been a diabetic coma. I sincerely doubt his sister was 700 lbs., but that’s my kind of President!

    President Spicoli.

  33. The GM bailout began in 2008 and now the Obama administration is selling the public’s GM stock. It has completely sold all our AIG and Citigroup stock for nice profits.

    WHERE’S MY FUCKING CHECK?

    “the public’s stock” my ass.

    1. The GM bailout began in 2008 and now the Obama administration is selling the public’s GM stock.

      Already done. Total recognized losses of over $11BB.

      The U.S. government lost $11.2 billion on its bailout of General Motors Co (GM.N), more than the $10.3 billion the Treasury Department estimated when it sold its remaining GM shares in December, according to a government report released on Wednesday.

      The $11.2 billion loss includes a write-off in March of the government’s remaining $826 million investment in “old” GM, the quarterly report by a Treasury watchdog said.

      http://www.reuters.com/article…..MR20140430

    2. Oh, and I don’t believe the government ever got any Citigroup stock.

      There’s a lawsuit now on whether the feds legally acquired their AIG stock. If the feds lose that lawsuit it will wipe out their profits on AIG and possibly Citigroup as well.

  34. Flip, flip, flipadelphia. Flip, flip, flipadelphia. We should try to reignite the rivalry.

  35. When my toilet was overflowing, I considered calling James Jones the plumber, but then I found out he didn’t have a sociology degree.

  36. Here’s a question:

    As the intellectual academic achievements of our political Brahmins have increased, has the country become more, or less, free?

    Perhaps we should consider academic degrees a DISqualifying factor.

    1. And across the Atlantic, consider all the German Herr Doktors. Guess who many of them ended up working for?

    2. /The Botard informed me that this hatred of academic achievement is something something something SOCONZ!!11!

      So SHUT UP, Brooks.

  37. More yoga pants, anyone?

    Fear, Loathing, And The Great American Yoga Pants Panic

    Good comment:

    garretso ? an hour ago
    I’m A-OK with yoga pants. The female form ranks right up there with sunsets and puppies as one of God’s greatest creations.

  38. Nice. All presidents should get the irreverent fake biography treatment.

    1. As opposed to the *reveren* fake bio treatment like FDR and JFK.

      1. reverent

      2. Precisely. A little irreverence might help some people get over their idol worship of the fucking liars and sociopaths.

        1. Yes, but it’s the liars and sociopaths who get the fake biographies which overpraise them.

          They need non-fake biographies to counteract this. And lots of dirty jokes featuring them.

  39. Really, the guy who couldn’t say whether evolution is true?

    He should have said, “What a stupid, pointless question. What does that have to do with anything?”

    1. Really, the guy who couldn’t say whether evolution is true?

      “I will support no legislation, regulation, or other government action seeking to outlaw evolution. Government has no business picking winners and losers in disputes over scientific issues.”

      1. “I will oppose any attempts to repeal the laws of evolution.”

        1. Democrat: “I oppose Walker’s anti-science ideology, and I support legislation to have any food product containing DNA *clearly labelled.*”

          1. I really want to see someone try out the classic ‘Ban Dihydrogen monoxide’ petitions on actual legislators.

  40. Those degrees aren’t much help if you are ignorant

    1. Au contraire – they can help you get jobs!

      1. Preferably a government job.

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