Charlie Hebdo Expands Post-Attack Print Run, Rand Paul the Insurgent, House Votes to Overturn President's Immigration Action: P.M. Links

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  1. A former bartender at House Speaker John Boehner’s country club was arrested after threatening to kill the prominent politician.

    Hey, Ohioans celebrate the Ohio State victory in different ways.

    1. Hello.

      “Cage match, please.”

      As long as there’s Jell-O in it.

      1. …orange jello.

        1. Thankfully, no, because John Boehner wouldn’t be there.

          1. he uses the jello as a camouflage before striking his adversary from below.

            1. Like the wily oompa loompa…

      2. “Cage match, please.”

        I would hope for lots of sharp instuments, chainsaws, and maybe a midget on a giant’s back.

        “Who run Bartertown?”

    2. Boehner himself is a former bartender, isn’t he?

        1. Like some kind of…centipede, maybe?

          1. A worm or snake.

  2. The race is on among California Democrats to succeed Sen. Barbara Boxer.

    Moonbattery a must.

    1. Is Charlie Sheen up to anything?

      1. And Sean Penn.

        1. Also appropriate here:

          “Cage match, please.”

          I would hope for lots of sharp instuments, chainsaws, and maybe a midget on a giant’s back.

          “Who run Bartertown?”

  3. Al Qaeda may be feeling inadequate in the shadow of ISIS’s body count.

    It’s not the size of the vest it’s the radius of the blast.

    1. I’m going to hell for laughing at that, aren’t I?

      1. Especially since Boko Haram just used a 10-year-old girl as the delivery device for their latest suicide bomb. Animals.

        1. At least Cameroon troops can put them in their place. 150-1 in mortality in the latest battle in Cameroon.

          1. Hey, Nigeria, Cameroon is making you look bad.

          2. For some reason right now I have a craving for a macaroon.

  4. Britain’s government sees last week terrorist attacks in France as an opportunity to push expanded electronic surveillance powers.

    I call for a vote of No Confidence for Chancellor Vallorum.

    1. Distributed warfare aka Islamic terrorism calls for a distributed defense, aka an armed citizenry.

      1. ding-ding-ding – tell the man what he’s won, Vanna!

      2. ding-ding-ding – tell the man what he’s won, Vanna!

        1. Squi_ _ elz.

    2. David Cameron has stated publicly that he wants to ban encryption. All encryption. Fucking fascist fuck.

      1. He will snoop on you, but will never let you defend yourself.

      2. They tried that here in the 90s, more or less. Not a total ban, but strong encryption was classified as munitions for export purposes, and they wanted to mandate backdoors to encryption for law enforcement purposes.

        1. Good luck enforcing that.

          1. That was one of the objections, but the other was that intentional backdoors create exploitable vulnerabilities. Oh, and the whole thing smacked of being unconstitutional, too, which still meant something back in the 90s.

            1. the coolest thing is if the NSA puts in true back doors then they are just as vulnerable as we all are. And no one should underestimate the drive of a 16 year old genius with too much time on his hands.

        2. That they suddenly quit bitching about it tells me the NSA likely figured out a way to crack the available encryption of the ’90s.

          1. I highly doubt that. They cannot do that even with a supercomputer. They probably just gave up.

            1. I realize it seems incredibly improbable, but we’re talking about the people who put up a tremendous fuss and then just suddenly stopped.

              1. Impotence looks bad. Best not to draw attention to it.

                1. Bob Dole disagrees!

              2. The keys for strong crypto invariably end up being protected by weak passwords at either end of the communication; you just attack the users instead of the crypto.

        3. France was the worst in this regard … MS Office products sold in France could only use the weakest encryption.

        4. The classification of encryption as a munition lead to the best T-shirt in my arsenal. It features the code for RSA encryption and reads “This shirt is classified as a munition”.

          Just about as far into nerd libertarian as you could get in the mid 90’s.

    3. Never let a crisis go to waste

    1. I’ll assume they evacuated the park and called in a SWAT team?

      1. It will be in of those one day:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4XWlroqZYg

      2. Enhance your calm John Spartan.

    2. Aww, I guess it was too much to ask that it still work.

      1. It’s not an AK-47.

  5. Britain’s government sees last week terrorist attacks in France as an opportunity to push expanded electronic surveillance powers.

    What’s the British word for crisitunity?

  6. North Koreans Walk Across Frozen River to Kill Chinese for Food

    A spate of murders by North Koreans inside China’s border is prompting some residents to abandon their homes, testing China’s ability to manage both the 880-mile (1,400-kilometer) shared frontier and its relationship with the reclusive nation.

    The violence reflects a growing desperation among soldiers, including border guards, since Kim Jong Un took over as supreme leader in Pyongyang three years ago. As well as seeking food, they are entering China to steal money.

    […]

    In the December incident, a North Korean soldier shot four residents of Nanping, a border village of about 300 in northeastern Jilin province. Around 20 villagers have been murdered in Nanping by North Koreans in recent years, a senior local official said in an interview.

    That’s some crazy shit, although the headline made me think they were resorting to cannibalism.

    1. If border guards are involved, this *could* be construed as aggression against China.

      1. What do you suppose those guards are doing to their own people?

        1. Could be one of two things…
          A: North Koreans don’t have food to steal.
          B: North Koreans are too stringy and don’t have enough marbling.

    2. What makes you think they are not?

      I saw a report a while back of a street vendor selling human flesh in a NK meat market

    3. Lord, there is never, ever any good news that comes out of North Korea. Just once I’d like to see a story about how things are at least less bad there.

      How psychologically damaged must the typical North Korean be to have not yet stormed government buildings and literally eaten the Kim family?

      1. I gotta figure, anyone on the power side in NK is deathly afraid of any uprising, because if the people ever got an inkling of possible success, they’d probably kill every last one of the government and military.

      2. Pot is legal in North Korea.

  7. How many of you Peanuts have missed me? Been a vacation.

    What is up with bitcoin? It is falling like a commodity in these HYPERINFLATION!- DERP! BLUG! times.

    King Dollar rules!

    1. How many of you Peanuts have missed me? Been a vacation.

      I didn’t notice you weren’t here.

    2. For your first post after a vacation, there is a stunning lack of Bushpigs and Christfags

      1. Markets always return to a rational mean after an exuberant super-spike.

        Copper has fallen to multi year lows just like silver did. The
        USD keeps gaining strength.

        Bitcoin is destined to fall to about 450 before stabalizing. Oil is the latest example of what the great capitalist Soros calls “reflexivity”.

        1. USD keeps gaining strength.

          There’s your exuberant spike right there.

        2. $50 on bitcoin rather. It has fallen from $1100 or so to $180 today. Never catch a falling knife.

          1. I knew the value would tank when I saw there was now a college football Bitcoin Bowl.

            1. That really confused me. How can a digital crypto-currency designed from the ground up to be anonymous and decentralized sponsor a bowl game?

          2. I take great pride in timing the very top of the market for my purchase, I’m just prescient as fuck, me.

          3. Never catch a falling knife.

            Another tautological, just-so story.

            If it had fallen and then come back up, you wouldn’t have called it a knife. You only call it a knife after the fact.

        3. Markets always return to a rational mean after an exuberant super-spike.

          That’s a tautology, genius.

    3. I thought your self-loathing had become more than you could bear and that you’d pulled the trigger and ended it all.

      1. optimist

    4. And yet Gold is not. Its price is actually increasing steadily.

      1. $1230 today? After $1900. Goldbugs are like a religion and all religion is based on a false premise.

        $700 when interest rates start up.

        1. $700 when interest rates start up.

          Stop projecting your faith onto me.

          1. It’s really adorable that the ‘rationalist’ who’s constantly denying reality to back his pre-conceived notions while chanting empty supposedly maxims at people thinks other people are engaging in a ‘religion’.

        2. Goldbugs are like a religion and all religion is based on a false premise.

          LOL! That’s rich coming from a central bank toady, who – like his heroes – has never managed to spot a bubble until too late.

          Anybody who believes in central planning is dumber than a creationist. You are an economic creationist.

        3. Maybe. That will never happen while they are servicing multi trillion dollar debts and have a choice.

        4. Gold broke $1000 for the first time ever in 2008.

    5. I speak for myself but I kind of hoped you were dead.

  8. Am I the only one who enjoys the humorous and irreverent writing of the NY Post?

    “The success of the Norwegians ? the Beverly Hillbillies of Europe ? can’t be imitated.”

    http://nypost.com/2015/01/11/s…..t-utopias/

    1. The Post can be good at times, but they’re nearly unmatched in copsucking (only the NYDN is worse).

    2. Of course it can’t be imitated. They are floating their socialism on north sea oil.

      Lets see what happens when the wells run dry.

      1. They aren’t even doing that. Their government has had to cut back due to the fall in prices.

        1. They can always increase exports of lutefisk.

  9. ‘Grand Forks Herald’: North Dakota’s Lawmakers and Governor Should Approve Right to Counsel Bill

    With SB 2150, North Dakota has the chance to become the second state in the country to grant students at its public colleges and universities the right to hire attorneys for suspension or expulsion hearings.

    North Carolina is the state that already has such a law. I wonder if the OCR will charge colleges with Title IX violations for following state law.

    1. It’s nuts that the acceptance of subsidized loans means you have to follow all this Titls IX shit, and this idea is considered perfectly normal; but suggest that colleges should have to follow all the constitutional amendedments, and colleges will act as though that idea is crazy.

    2. Wait, in what totalitarian hellhole can they require a person to defend himself against criminal accusations without a lawyer? What do they do if you bring one in with you now, tell him to leave?

      1. Suspension and expulsion aren’t criminal matters.

      2. The whole basis is that suspension/expulsion is not a criminal proceeding (even though they may act like it is). It would be more appropriate to call it a contractual dispute.

        1. Regardless, it seems highly.unusual to have such a policy. Is it actually written somewhere that one cannot hire.an attorney to represent a student in.such a proceeding? If so it seems repulsively stacked in the university’s favor.

          1. Oh yes, that is written policy at many universities.

          2. In a just world, these things would end up in arbitration and perhaps civil court. But, yeah, the universities have a FYTW attitude towards all of it.

            1. Funny enough, a lot of male students are suing universities for civil rights violations because of these kangaroo courts (which the OCR said were mandatory under Title IX!).

      3. What use is a lawyer if there is no due process?

        Seriously?

  10. WTF? “Erdogan accuses ‘the West’ of being behind Charlie Hebdo attacks and deliberately ‘blaming Muslims.'”

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new…..ng-it.html

    This prick is on some serious bonzai.

    1. I kept dismissing accusations of Erdogan as an Islamist, but the more I read about him, the more I think that concerns of secular Turks are not unfounded.

      1. He’s a nationalist first and foremost. Basically Putin for Turkey.

        1. He’s an egotist first and foremost; nationalism is merely the vehicle for his ego gratification. See recent articles on the palace he’s building which would put those of the old Sultans to shame.

          1. Good point.

          2. He said he was a “slave to Sharia” some years ago and described himself, when mayor of Istanbul, as the city’s imam, and so I imagine that these things play an important role, too.

          3. He’s not a nationalist in the 1923 Republic sense. He’s a different sort of nationalist, constantly fighting for hearts and minds of the youth who are more “Cumhurriyet” style, i.e. nationalists who believe in the secular Republic Mustafa Kemal set up.

            He’s allowed his Islamist mask to slip over time.

            1. He’ll be whatever he needs to be in order to stay in his 615-million-d

              1. ollar palace.

      2. Blame demographics. For decades the more fundamentalist Muslim areas of Turkey have been having more kids then their more secular counterparts. It was only a matter of time before Turkey elected a government that better reflected the new voter base.

        1. Erdogan got elected on a much, much, much more watered down platform than the AKP espouses now. He’s essentially pulled a bait and switch on about half of his country, most of whom are young and urban.

          1. “Erdogan got elected on a much, much, much more watered down platform than the AKP espouses now.”

            And then he was reelected with wider margins AFTER initiating a violent crack down against protesters.

            Yeah, by the second time around I think they knew who Erdogan was. And they reelected him.

            1. I don’t totally understand it either, except that their economy has been absolutely fantastic (for them) for a good while now, and they’re showing a greater and greater influence on the region.

              Between that and – possibly – turnout, I think as a whole, Turks are doing a “better the devil you know” thing.

              I know that a lot of my Turkish colleagues, being young-ish engineers, simply don’t understand how this can keep happening.

              1. Turkey’s economy was bad before the AKP took power, and there has been improvement but Erdogan is now more of a problem than a solution. He meddles in central bank policy. A year or so ago the central bank had to DOUBLE interest rates to avoid a lira run.

                1. I think it’s been the relative difference that has kept people thinking Erdogan is an economic wizard to some extent.

                  I was there a little over a year ago. I don’t recall the interest rate thing having any effect. I’d have seen something fairly different in my expense reports vs. previous visits, I’d think.

    2. Remember when EU enthusiasts were advocating for Turkey’s accession to the EU, and condemning opponents for their racism?

  11. I hate to say it but…Rand Paul probably shouldn’t run, solely for the reason that he’d have to not run for his senate seat which is too precious. This is compounded by the continued unfortunate existence of his idiot father who will probably torpedo his presidential run. Amash or Massie should go in his place. If Jeb wins, Rand should threaten him with a 2020 independent run unless he gets his way for those 4 years.

    Amash or Massie are too green, I know, but they are our best bet-with one exception. One brilliant exception. Are you seated? The brilliance of my choice for who should run for GOP nom may knock you flat on your ass. Brace yourselves: Grover Norquist. Bam. Amazing right? Then again I am assuming he won’t be too busy running a city state or two in Honduras.

    1. Massie can run for Rand’s senate seat.

      If Paul loses, he can takeover McConnell’s seat in 2020.

    2. The Senate seat is a problem, but Paul has a real chance in this election–I’d hate to see him not take a shot.

      1. Even without his idiot father complicating things, I do not think the chances justify the risk. Got to know when to play it safe. Grover 2016!

        1. What is the risk? Senator Massie?

          1. 1) Massie could lose ( low chance). 2) I really don’t know if Rand can get back in 2020 3) Even if he does, that’s still 4 years without Randall!

            Your plan isn’t bad, but my spicy-senses are telling to be risk-averse.

        2. As of now (which really means nothing, but it’s all we have) I think he has a good chance IF he makes it through the primaries. So does he have to give up the Senate seat to run in the primaries? Or can he wait to see how that shakes out?

          1. I heard something that made it sound like he could stay in through most of the primaries before having to withdraw from the Senate race. Not sure if that’s right, but that’s what I heard.

    3. Conservative talk radio has branded Grover Norquist a secret Muslism terrorist, so he would not be able to win the Republican primary.

      1. Yeah, they’re fucking insane, but not nearly as powerful as their volume implies. Ignore them.

    4. I think Rand can run for his Senate seat as well. Ryan ran for his House seat in 2012. Might be wrong though.

      1. I think Kansas law prohibits that.

        1. Ah, got it (assuming you meant KY and not KS).

  12. Colorado pastor (who was not even officiating) stops a funeral in progress upon discovering the deceased was gay and makes the attendees leave the church, with the coffin:

    Family: Church in Lakewood stops woman’s funeral because she was gay

    To add insult to injury, the church is refusing to return the family’s $400 rental fee.

    1. I’m assuming they had a contract. Wonder if he had a clause in there.

      1. I don’t know; but even if the church is legally in the right, that’s still a massive dick move.

        1. So would be knowingly violating his terms and expecting the reaction (no, I wouldn’t put it past some people). But my guess is he didn’t have it and will get sued for breach.

          1. Better to get sued than let some fucking dyke have a little dignity in death.

          2. Not conclusive but:

            Friends say they gave the church a remembrance video of Collier a week before that contained images of her kissing and embracing her wife. The pastor had every chance to stop the funeral long before it began, they said.

            Even if there was a clause, they’re probably be an Estoppel by silence issue created by waiting until the funeral was in progress to do something about it.

    2. That’s pretty harsh. I mean, love the sinner not the sin, right?

    3. That’s… yeah, that’s assholish. If he had said no before the funeral, that’s one thing. But stopping the funeral in the middle and having everyone get out? Damn.

    4. Projection. He’s obviously in the closet.

    5. But remember kids, there are no real US Christians with actual animus towards the homos.

      1. I dunno, if he really hated gays, wouldn’t he want to bury them?

        I kid. Actually, I wonder if there’s an intentional infliction of emotional distress argument here? I haven’t dealt with that in a long time, but I seem to recall that that tort arose originally because of the mishandling of bodies at funerals. Or maybe that was something else. I forget.

    6. Man, if I was in that family I’m not sure that it wouldn’t have come to blows.

    7. If she’s dead, she’s no longer gay.

      1. Or a she

    8. Technically the article says the pastor objected to the photos and “certain events”, not them being gay. Then the family decided to hold it elsewhere.

    9. Not excusing the pastor, but the article actually reads that he demanded that ‘photos of the deceased kissing her wife be removed from public display. If that was done, he would have continued with the service. Instead the family refused and went across the street.

      Still not particularly decent but the newspaper headline (not Stormy’s link name) is somewhat misleading.

      1. “You can only hold this funeral here if you pretend the deceased was a completely different person than they actually were” is, given the intended purpose of funerals, functionally equivalent to denying permission for the funeral.

        1. I basically agree with you. My point (poorly expressed) was that the newspaper headline implied that, once the pastor found out she was gay, he terminated the service.

        2. the intended purpose of funerals

          An opportunity to publicly grieve the death of someone you know? Nope, not the same as denying them permission.

        3. If she belonged to this church then she was pretending to be a completely different person when there in life.

          If her homosexuality was something her and her family wanted celebrated, then find somewhere that would celebrate it. Otherwise they are imposing their viewpoint upon the church.

  13. I heard a fairly favorable comment or two about Rand Paul on some conservative radio show yesterday. I think at least some of the conservatives realize that going whole hog for a truly conservative candidate again might mean a Bush or Romney nomination, so they’re viewing Paul a little more favorably.

    What’s funny about that is that Bush has good conservative credentials as far as his resume goes, but he’s tried way too hard to sound like a moderate recently. His timing couldn’t be worse, both with the failures of Romney and with the country being a little less interested in Right-Democrat right now.

    In any case, I think Paul has a reasonable chance of success. I think he’d clean up in the general, if he gets the nomination. The Democrats have lost their minds to not throw up alternatives to Clinton, who is a complete joke of a candidate.

    1. I think all the risk for Rand is in the GOP nomination contest. That’s where I don’t like how things look. I don’t think the GOP has earned the privilege of voting for such a fine candidate.

      In the general he will slaughter almost any Dem candidate. That goes double for Hillary. Rand is The Clinton Terminator.

      1. KY primary is late enough that he sdhould know how prez run is going in time to make final commitment on Senate race.

        1. Good point.

        2. I’ve heard this reasoning before–probably true enough. He’ll also try to fight the law, though it’s unlikely it’ll get past the Democrats.

      2. That’s part of what the conservative dude was saying–he’s total kryptonite to the Democrats if he makes it through. He’s also not taking the strong noninterventionist position of Dad, which keeps the big military types in the GOP from hating him completely.

        Paul would be a joy as president, since he wants to gut entire organs of Leviathan. The GOP-controlled Congress will probably impeach him. Awesome.

        1. If Rand Paul or someone simpatico cannot win the GOP nom, he should 1) try to get the Dems to nominate a non-crazy person like Brooker (no idea how to do that) or 2) blackmail the next GOP president (assuming they win) with the threat of a 2020 independent run.

        2. Never underestimate the power of the “racist” card. I have relatives who essentially agree with Rand in every material way, but the “freedom of association” comment has been spun so thoroughly into “closet racist!” that none would ever consider voting for him, no matter what. That and the anti-abortion thing.

          1. Well, we’re either going to get past such silliness or continue on the path to crazy.

            1. We need another brutal recession. That ‘racism’ shit and the eco-vanity that has been making a slight comeback since 2009 will be not be a concern for almost anyone.

            2. Based on my conversations this past holiday season, I’m going with “path to crazy.”

    2. No more Big Gov, Big War, Big Deficit Bushes.

      We have cut the deficit in half, ended two wars and decreased federal spending as a % of GDP by 30%.

      1. ^^This is what morons actually believe^^

      2. I wish I could visit your alternate reality. Maybe Dora the Explorer is real and mentally at an adult level, so I can make several thousand dollars quickly.

        1. Get off the GOP Plantation man!

      3. Re: Peter Caca,

        No more Big Gov, Big War, Big Deficit Bushes.

        Let’s have a round of applause for Big Gov, Many Wars, Big Deficit Obamas!

        We have cut the deficit in half, ended two wars and decreased federal spending as a % of GDP by 30%.

        And discovered the cure for cancer!

      4. Our tongue is firmly in our cheek, right?

        1. His is in Obama’s ass.

  14. “Britain’s government sees last week terrorist attacks in France as an opportunity to push expanded electronic surveillance powers.”

    Well colour me surprised. They really couldn’t wait for an opportunity to build the surveillance state. A cynic might think that the various security agencies are forever formulating ways to restrict our freedom, and then just wait for a suitable attack in order to spring them on their favourite authoritarian politician.

    Fuckin numpties. It’s a war of attrition in surveillance and the cyber-anarchists are currently beating them like rented mules.

    1. I don’t want ’em
      You can have ’em
      They’re too fat for me!

    2. I am guessing most weren’t too fat, or at least no fatter than the average bear.

      The ones getting the “fat” exemptions should also have to eat a Michelle-approved diet. I’m guessing the requests for exemptions would go down after that.

      1. I’m wondering how many needed to fly on the government’s dime in the first place.

      2. “fatter than the average bear”

        Hey, now!

    3. I am guessing most weren’t too fat, or at least no fatter than the average bear.

      The ones getting the “fat” exemptions should also have to eat a Michelle-approved diet. I’m guessing the requests for exemptions would go down after that.

  15. “A leading publisher of schoolbooks has banned its authors from mentioning pigs, sausages, and anything pork related in their books, lest the words offend Muslims and Jews….

    “The edict emerged during a discussion on Radio 4’s Today program on free speech, the Daily Mail has reported. Presenter James Naughtie, whose author wife is currently in discussion with Oxford University Press…”

    http://www.breitbart.com/londo…..g-muslims/

    1. Okay, so Charlotte’s Web is right out?

      1. Not at all, they just have to change a few lines about why Charlotte wants to stop the people from eating Wilbur. Have the web say “Haram” instead of “Some Pig”.

        1. Ah, so editorial censorship rather than a flat-out ban. Like some would like to do with Huckleberry Finn.

      2. So much for Babe, Pig in the City

        1. And Animal Farm

      3. The pigs have been replaced with walkie-talkies.

    2. Yeah like they’re really worried about offending Jews. Love how they mention them too so nobody notices the giant 600 lb gorilla in the room called Islam.

      1. The first Jewish settlement in England dates back to, oh, 1070 plus or minus.

        So, for a full 1000 years nobody gave a damn about their sensibilities, but all of a sudden ….

    3. Pigs will truly become ‘magical animals’ to children like it did for Homer.

      1. Pigs are magical, how else can you possibly explain bacon?

    4. That is just too perfect to be true…

    5. Don’t get. Okay, pigs are “unclean” and can’t be eaten. Fine, but how is it the sight of them is “offensive”? I don’t eat insects, but the sight of them is not offensive to me.

  16. Maybe covered earlier? I don’t know, see if any of you can make any sense out of Herself (NSFW).

    1. Saw that earlier this week. Well done.This Metal Archives thread is also a hoot.

  17. Valerie Jarrett just posted an article on LinkedIn saying that Obama will sign a Presidential Memorandum tomorrow requiring federal employees have access to 6 weeks paid leave when having a baby and proposes that Congress allow 6 weeks administrative leave as well.

    Good job, Obama. Way to drive up the costs of labor to make sure that no one can get hired. If you’re a small business, sorry, the cost of doing business with the government is now so regulated that only large companies can afford it. Funny how that works.

    1. How many working parents know that sinking feeling from sending their child off to school with a fever? How many Americans have to show up to work when battling an illness even when they know they won’t be at their best, it will lengthen their recovery time, and they may likely spread their sickness to others? And how many moms and dads have been denied the ability to bond with their newborn, or to care for an aging parent, all because they could not afford to miss work? These are real, significant moments in life that nearly everyone faces at some point. The last thing we should do is add guilt, fear, and financial hardship on working parents as they try to do what’s right ? while keeping their job.

      1. It’s like dual income families have no agency. Yeah, it sucks that life comes with consequences, and the bigger life decisions that you make have larger consequences. However, single income is still very viable unless you’re making minimum wage, and you don’t have to worry about missing work when your little snot rocket catches the flu from licking the walls at school.

        This is one of those pet peeve topics of mine, it drives me up a wall when people start talking about how hard being a working parent is.

      2. How many Americans have to show up to work

        That’s so sad. People have to go to work?

        Wage-slaves! We shall overcome the slavery of work.

        1. How many Americans have to show up to work when battling an illness even when they know they won’t be at their best

          Something I learned playing sports in high school: No one is 100% all the time. Sometimes you feel like shit, you’re sore, gasping for breath, playing with sprained ankles or pulled muscles. Good athletes show up and execute the best the can. Feeling like they’re at their best has nothing to do with it.

          Professionals should be the same way.

          1. Unless you’re contagious. Then stay the fuck home.

            1. Right, there’s a limit. But not showing up because “I’m not at my best” is pretty pathetic.

          2. Yes, however: I don’t want my attorney developing a defensive strategy to keep me out of prison when he’s in bed with the flu. I don’t want a civil engineer designing my bridge when he’s distracted by his.divorce.

            This.is what unpaid.leave is for: taking time off to get yourself together when you aren’t going to perform your job very well.

      3. Oh for fuck’s sake. I got 3 workdays from my company but ither than that worked at leastt 50 hes a week and somehow my sona nd I have a bond. If your job doesn’t need you enough to give you six weeks of paid leave (for the mother) or pay you enough that you can afford six weeks of unpaid leave just fucking quit if you value time with your infant that much. Surely welfare will make up for your financial losses.

    2. Federal employees, JEP, your quote specifically says federal employees not private business.

      1. Fuck if I know how the president has the authority to do that. Sounds like a job for Congress to me.

      2. Ok, I take back 50% of what I said. Generally, a lot of rules for federal employees get pushed onto businesses that contract with the government. Be interesting to see how much of that happens.

        Apparently, all this is related to the Healthy Families Act. I have no idea what’s in that.

        1. And I’m not defending this, merely pointing out the limits to what you quoted.

          Having said that, we all know the goal is euro-style mandatory maternity and paternity leave.

  18. Yukon judge rules phone wedged between ear and shoulder is ‘hands-free’

    Yukon Judge Don Luther says it was not illegal for Ian Pumphrey to be driving with his phone lodged between his shoulder and his ear.

    Luther says it may have been an oversight on the territorial government’s part when it passed the law governing the use of electronic devices while driving.

    1. Nice. Good to see a judge who doesn’t believe in judicial deference. Maybe he can come down south and replace Justice Penaltax?

    2. How about strapping the phone to your head with a big rubber band?

      1. You know who else liked strapping things to their head?…

        1. Minnie Pearl?

        2. Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, and Michelle Burke?

  19. France loves free speech.

    Not!

    Haha! You’d think they would be consistent?

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelli…..peech.html

    1. Non?

    2. As its citizens continue to rally around their much-celebrated right to free expression, the Associated Press reports that France has begun a “crackdown on hate speech, anti-Semitism, and glorifying terrorism.” So far, 54 people have been arrested, and some have already been punished “under special measures for immediate sentencing.”

      Among those taken into custody was Dieudonn? M’bala M’bal, a comedian with a history of racism and anti-Semetism convictions. (Popularizing a hand gesture that resembles a Nazi salute is one of his claims to fame.) Dieudonn? was busted over a (since deleted) Monday night Facebook post in which he wrote that he felt “like Charlie Coulibaly” ? a reference to the “Je Suis Charlie” slogan and Amedy Coulibaly, the terrorist who killed four people in a kosher grocery store after the Charlie Hebdo attack.

      In another post, Dieudonn? addressed the French interior minister, Bernard Cazeneuve, writing, “Whenever I speak, you do not try to understand what I’m trying to say, you do not want to listen to me. You are looking for a pretext to forbid me. You consider me like Amedy Coulibaly when I am not any different from Charlie.”

      1. Will “Je suis Dieudonne” become the new rallying cry?

        Haha! France – fucked up beyond belief.

    3. See, if the people engage in a backlash against Islam it’s evidence that they’re vile, disgusting racists.

      If the French government engages in a backlash against Islam and just claims that they’re ‘stopping anti-Semitic hate speech’ then only a stupid racist American could possibly disapprove.

    1. Wow. I wonder how much fuel it takes just to get that thing off the ground.

    2. Holy shit, that’s one great ungainly aircraft.

  20. “After its first post-attack issue sold out, Charlie Hebdo ordered the printing of 2 million more copies, for a total of 5 million. The satirical publication has a normal circulation of 60,000.”

    The terrorists may have finally discovered the Streisand Effect.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streisand_effect

    It must blow their medieval little minds.

    1. France boldly makes a statement for free speech!

      Hahaha! No, really, they are locking up people who dare to criticize jews and practice “hate speech.”

      A spokesperson also told reporters that in addition to the stepped-up hate-speech enforcement, the French government is “broadening” its legal ability to tap phones and use other types of intelligence-gathering methods for the purpose of detecting threats. Sound familiar?

    2. One article I read suggested, interestingly I thought, that the attackers’ intention was to spread the cartoons throughout the Muslim world to show people how the West is anti-Islam. They certainly could not have done a bigger favor for Charlie Hebdo’s circulation.

      Of course, they could just be idiots.

  21. I’m hereby formally requesting that “AM Links” be changed to “Dawn Links” so that we can have PM and Dawn Links.

    I look forward to being set adrift on memory bliss tomorrow.

  22. The race is on among California Democrats to succeed Sen. Barbara Boxer. Cage match, please.

    Thunderdome, please. n candidates enter, n-(n-1) candidates leave.

    Given the morass of lefty California politics, maybe we should call it the Chunderdome.

    1. One candidate leaves?

      1. Sigh…. +1 series math for the win?

    2. What are they going to do, discuss their feelings until they pass out, last one standing wins?

  23. Raiders of the…Last Ark? That one starred who again?

    Whatever happened to the claim Rolling Stone had something to the effect of the most stringent editorial process in the whole universe?

    http://twitchy.com/2015/01/14/…..orrection/

    1. Again we see there is nothing you can print that I cannot retract.

    2. Raiders of the…Last Ark?

      I think they meant “Noah”.

    1. Well there is a government interest for maintaining standards for Chicago politicians.

    2. Well this is horrifying.

      We need a way to carry out incognito abortion. Some sort of virus or something in a pill.

    3. How about calling the choicers’ bluff and say you can only abort such a child if you can’t find anyone willing to adopt it?

      After all, we all know that prolifers never adopt disadvantaged or disabled children, so this would just prove their hypocrisy and pose no real threat to abortion!

      Right, guys?

      1. You know who else adopts a lot of mixed-race, disabled, and other hard-to-place children?

        That’s right, Eddie, the homos. Srsly.

        [drops mic, walks off stage]

        1. I said “*anyone* willing to adopt it.” Are you using some interpretation of “anyone” with which I am unfamiliar?

          1. And you know what else? I think it would be better for a child to be raised by *socialists* than to be killed.

  24. France ordered prosecutors around the country to crack down on hate speech, anti-Semitism and glorifying terrorism and announced Wednesday it was sending an aircraft carrier to the Mideast to work more closely with the U.S.-led coalition fighting Islamic State militants.

    Authorities said 54 people had been arrested for hate speech and defending terrorism in the last week. The crackdown came as Charlie Hebdo’s defiant new issue sold out before dawn around Paris, with scuffles at kiosks over dwindling copies of the satirical weekly that fronted the Prophet Muhammad anew on its cover

    Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite, La bouche fermez!

    1. Doucheratti?

  25. Techies can be as stupid as Tony:

    “Tech leaders lining up behind Elizabeth Warren”
    […]
    “Now, a group of tech leaders who worked on his campaign are lining behind another upstart who could challenge Clinton in 2016: Sen. Elizabeth Warren, D-Mass.”
    […]
    “I’m calling 50 to 100 people right now,” said Sean Knox, a San Franciscan who was Northern California data director for Obama’s 2008 campaign. “She speaks to me in the same way that Obama did when he first ran.”
    http://www.fresnobee.com/2015/…..rylink=cpy

    I’m sure she’s at least as mendacious as Obo!

    1. “I’m calling 50 to 100 people right now,” said Sean Knox, a San Franciscan who was Northern California data director for Obama’s 2008 campaign. “She speaks to me in the same way that Obama did when he first ran.

      He said it like it is a good thing.

      Frightening.

      1. “Frightening.”
        Repeating an activity and hoping for a different result…

    2. She speaks to me in the same way that Obama did when he first ran.

      In lies and half-truths?

      1. Maybe they both use the same teleprompter.

    3. “She speaks to me in the same way that Obama did when he first ran.”

      “Like I’m the brightest of dim bulbs!”

    4. “She speaks to me in the same way that Obama did when he first ran.”

      That’s just sad.

      And retarded.

    5. Our bankruptcy law textbook this semester is a lizzie Warren creation. To paraphrase the prof, there are lefties and then there’s Warren.

      1. She’s a bankruptcy expert? That explains so much. The Sargasso Sea of the law…

    6. Gearheads are the opposite of the greasy headed rednecks that make up the GOP base. They all “hear” what they want to hear.

      1. That’d be a counterpart, not an opposite.

      2. Palin’s Buttplug|1.14.15 @ 5:45PM|#
        Turd: “BOOOOOOOOSH!”
        Fuck off.

    7. How creased are her slacks, anyway? Is it even comparable?

    8. “She speaks to me in the same way that Obama did when he first ran.”

      Insipid Hope and Change!

  26. “She speaks to me in the same way that Obama did when he first ran.”

    And since that worked out so well…

    1. “If only I could find another Pied Piper to follow!”

      1. Winner.

        This is exactly what I imagine the phenomenon to be. Young people looking for enlightenment, but falling for evangelical populism.

        1. Perhaps I should have said: populist evangelicalism.

    1. Let me guess: they photoshopped all the NFA enthusiasts out.

      1. No, they took a stock wire service photo of minorities at a “Vote for Smith” rally and replaced all the signs with pro NRA signs.

        1. Look at the sense of humor on this guy.

  27. That dude is a complete and utter fool.

    http://www.Anon-Best.tk

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