A.M. Links: Charlie Hebdo May Print 3 Million Copies of New Issue, Paul Ryan Will Not Seek Presidency, Ohio State Wins College Football National Championship


  • Credit: C-SPAN

    One person died and 84 others were hospitalized Monday when a Metro station in downtown Washington, D.C. filled with smoke, trapping dozens of passengers inside a train. The cause of the smoke remains unknown.

  • The satirical French magazine Charlie Hebdo will publish its next issue tomorrow with an initial print run of 1 million copies. An additional 2 million copies may hit newsstands by the end of the week.
  • Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) says he will not seek the GOP presidential nomination in 2016. "I feel like I am in a position to make a big difference where I am and I want to do that," he told NBC.
  • A mistrial has been declared by the judge in the murder trial of Richard Combs, the white former South Carolina police chief who shot and killed an unarmed black man.

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  1. The cause of the smoke remains unknown.

    Unscheduled tear gas practice.

    1. Hello.

      Je suis John Charlie Kerry:


    2. I’m sure the good people of DC will realize that these sorts of things are what happen when you put the government in charge of public transportation and will promptly vote for privatization of the metro. Right?

      1. What makes you think they have the opportunity to “vote for privatization”?

  2. “I feel like I am in a position to make a big difference where I am and I want to do that,” he told NBC.

    One awkward workout picture shoot was enough?

    1. Comment one pretty accurately summarizes why everyone at Gawker should be ashamed for posting that:

      “I don’t know why I feel obligated to say this, but I am a Muslim. I find this disgusting. Not only are these 30,000 something monsters, criminals and delinquents using and corrupting the religion of a 1.8 billion people, now they are ruining the innocence of children and embedding them with seeds that will grow nothing but thorns. Gross.”

      What the fuck does Gawker care? They already got your click.

      1. It’s Sam Biddle, the guy that lost Gawker millions in advertising revenue when he said gamers should be the target of bullies. They took away his one-man hatesite Valleywag, but still let him pull his pud on the mainpage for shits and giggles.

    2. The picture of the kid with the pistol and koran is telling.

    1. The song uses the children-friendly words for the genitals – snipp and snopp.

      “Don’t be such a snopp-head!”

      “She’s an evil snipp!”

      1. What’s wrong with the words we grew up with, like dingle and vajayjay?

      2. I can’t even guess which one is which.

        1. Oh c’mon. Obviously the penis isn’t going to be called ‘snipp’.

          “…penis and vagina dance around to a light and catchy melody.”

          This is a long way from the crap I saw as a kid which always featured a bee climbing around on a flower covered with pollen.

          1. Obviously the penis isn’t going to be called ‘snipp’.

            Great, now you’ve unleashed the debate…

            1. What does that have to do with deep-dish?

          2. Alas, no consummation.

      3. No wonder Snoop Dog can’t sell a mutherfucking record in Sweden.

  3. Slacking Workers of the World Unite
    We’ve made an art of wasting time at work. But to what end?

    On the question of why people spend so much time goofing off, Paulsen distills some common themes. Some said their jobs were so miserable, or so meaningless, that they felt compelled to goof off in order to endure them. Others said they wasted time at work to get back at an abusive boss, annoying coworkers or a firm that stole their wages.

    Paulsen was surprised to discover how much empty labor was involuntary. Subjects often told him they were simply trying to occupy themselves because there wasn’t enough work for them to do, either because their workload waxed and waned or because their managers were too incompetent to make sure they had enough to do.

    A few said they wasted time in order to rebel against the system generally.

    1. their workload waxed and waned

      Wow, its like someone answered from my cubicle…

      1. Seconded.

    2. I’m not slacking off, I’m maintaining myself in a state of cat-like readiness.

        1. I should scratch your face.

    3. It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.

      1. +1 TPS Report

    4. How many of them are government-sector workers?

      1. Nonsense, those are minor-league slackers in that study.

        They can’t compete with the major league slackers.

    5. New job in a new industry and my role model works 4 eights with a lunch. I feel obligated to attend work for the hours I charge my company for and out contract states I will attend for a minimum of 40 hours. I’m going to be busy as a pack of fire ants on a roadkill by June.

      1. But not as busy as a one-legged man at an arse-kicking competition?

        1. I’m starting as a site auditor so I can “learn the industry” of petrochem plant design and construction. Aa best I can tell in my 4th week, this job is a great fit for a precocious 8 year old as it invloves mostly counting things and coloring progress diagrams so far. But it will be cool when they drop in the big equipment in September.

          1. I hope they place the equipment gently rather than dropping it. 😉

            1. Then he will have less to write up, Ted!!!

            2. Just as long as I’m safely outside the crane’s boom radius.

          2. Interesting…getting back.into ChE?

            I have wondered what it would take to get into the petrochemical industry. Most of my experience is ins water treatment, power generation and environmental controls, and now, thermal processing. Not much in the way of the “standard” organics processing stuff. Do you have any hints?

            1. Send me your resume. I’ll pass it on. I can’t guarantee a damn thing but I think we do power, midstream, down stream, storage, and anything else that requires industrial pumps and tanks. With what they’re paying me if you can go straight into process engineering, you can afford to buy me lunch once or twice.

              1. Thanks. But I assume they don’t have anything in the.Pittsburgh area? Dr. Girlfriend make more than I do and she’d need good work as well if we had to move.

    6. The Bobs need to come in and straighten shit out.

      1. “Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don’t have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can’t you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?”

    7. “A few said they wasted time in order to rebel against the system generally.”

      Obvious disingenuous rationalization. If working harder was “to rebel” agains the system, do you honestly think anyone would be doing it?

      1. It is interesting how whenever people choose to ‘rebel’ it’s by engaging in bad behavior they’ve wanted to engage in all along.

        1. What they get from the job is no longer worth the effort required to keep it. They’re just waiting to see how long they can get away without doing what the employer wants.

    8. Slackers saboteur.

    9. The real problem is that most companies are still stuck in a 1920’s mentality where they are paying workers for their time and not for their knowledge, expertise, and ability accomplish a specific task.

      In a lot of cases, especially for IT workers it would literally be impossible for them to spend 8 hours a day 5 days a week actively “doing their jobs”. Inevitably when they are “slacking” what they are doing is allowing their brains time to refocus so they can come up with creative solutions to problems.

      So while they might be spending 2 – 4 hours a day “slacking” their productivity is basically the same in the remaining 4 – 6 hours as it would have been had they been chained to the desk with no access to the internet for 8 hours a day.

    10. I waste time because the POS computer I am forced to use at work doesn’t have enough RAM in it for me to adequately do my job. So every 30 seconds when it chokes up I wind up here.

  4. Java Sea.

    Why are they diving in so willingly? Isn’t that sea sharp?

    1. No, but the caffiene content keeps them alert. A few more dives and they might develop super-speed.

    2. or D flat.

  5. Alas, men have begun 3D-printing their penise

    To use Scanify, one must simply hold the device by its two handles, point it at their subject and slowly move around it. Mapped images can then be shared online or sent to a 3D printer.

    Manufacturing replicas of your genitals comes at a price though, with the scanning device alone retailing in the US at $1,490.

    1. Can’t you just make a latex mold of your penis and then fill that with liquid chocolate?

      1. Yes, but you can’t email that.

    2. haha…and you know the blueprint has a 1.5x magnification setting as default for sizing the output.

    3. Alas, this development came too late for Weiner.

    4. I’m waiting for Jezebel to start screeching that 3D-printed penises of husbands are the new chastity belt.

  6. The cause of the missing link about the smoke remains unknown.

      1. a smokescreen even

    1. Clearly it was the smoke monster from Lost. So, yeah, still no closer to an explanation.

  7. Website selling tools to help SHOPLIFTING cannot be closed down because it isn’t breaking any laws

    Read more

    1. I’m of the opinion you should be allowed to sell child poison. Using child poison is the crime.

      1. I thought people gave that stuff away every Halloween.

        1. But they get the doses wrong so the kiddies build up an immunity instead.

          1. It’s just like the over prescription of antibiotics, but a thousand times worse.

      1. Amazingly it’s not Florida Woman.

      2. …and that’s terrible.

  8. One person died and 84 others were hospitalized Monday when a Metro station in downtown Washington, D.C. filled with smoke, trapping dozens of passengers inside a train.

    Cue Ayn Rand to tell us how they all deserved to die.

    1. Nice catch.

  9. ‘Joyflation’ Poised to Lift British Economy From Misery

    The U.K. economy is about to get a dose of “joyflation.”

    That’s the term coined by Oxford Economics Ltd. to describe the combination of the oil-driven slowdown in inflation and accelerating economic growth. It’s enough to force the Misery Index — a measure of an economy’s health generated by adding the rates of unemployment and inflation — to its lowest since at least 1989 when consumer-price data became available.

  10. Divers have retrieved a second black box from downed AirAsia Flight 8501 in the Java Sea.

    To make up for the one they couldn’t find from Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

    1. Maybe they crashed in the same spot, and it really is the black box from 370!!!!!!

      /conspiracy nut

      1. Jumbo Jets carry two. When more boxes turn up, then you have a point.

        1. IIRC, one is the flight data recorder and the other is the cockpit voice recorder.

    2. One flight data recorder; one cockpit voice recorder; two orange-colored “black” boxes for each air transport aircraft.

      1. http://www.thenews.com.pk/arti…..-recovered

        PANGKALAN BUN, INDENESIA: Indonesian divers on Tuesday retrieved the cockpit voice recorder from the wreckage of an AirAsia plane that crashed into the Java Sea as the airline?s boss vowed to overcome the “toughest times” he has known.

        It came a day after the plane?s other black box, the flight data recorder, was recovered. The devices should give investigators vital information about what caused the accident.

  11. “I feel like I am in a position to make a big difference where I am and I want to do that,” he told NBC.

    Will progressive be thanking Ayn Randianism now? He even reached the suggested four uses of the word “I” per sentence.

  12. Gold Rises to Highest Since October as U.S. Rate Outlook Weighed

    Gold extended gains to the highest in almost 12 weeks as investors assessed the timing of higher borrowing costs and the strength of the U.S. economy amid slumping oil prices. Silver climbed to a four-week high.

    Bullion rose for a third day after U.S. data last week showed falling incomes even as hiring accelerated. Fed Bank of San Francisco President John Williams has said raising rates in June would be a close call amid “strong momentum” in the labor market and weaker wage gains.

    something, something peanuts

    1. FAKE SCANDAL!!!111!!!

  13. ‘I blew ?20,000 on takeaways when I couldn’t pay my mortgage’: Size 32 binge-eater who would gorge until she fell asleep loses FIFTEEN STONE after her home was repossessed

    1. your comment is not written in English. I though Reason filtered such things.

      1. JEEBUS, who can read this?

        Immediately Amanda gave up takeaways, chocolates, crisps, biscuits and her ultimate guilty pleasure ? stodgy butter-laden cheese sandwiches.

        1. What does “stodgy” mean in ‘Roo?

          1. Seriously, you don’t use the word stodgy in the States? It’s a very useful word for heavy, carb-rich food, and by extension dull, stultified, or conservative people.

            1. I know the latter meaning. Never heard it used on food.

    1. I have to say I ate some humble pie there, I thought OSU didn’t even deserve to be in the playoff. They certainly proved me wrong.

    2. Ohio State dominated while turning the ball over 4 times. Oregon couldn’t run the ball to set up their passing game, and when that kept happening I figured OSU would win. Plus, Ezekiel Elliott is a bad, bad man and he is going to run all over the Big Ten opposition next season. The big question is, who is OSU’s starting QB next season? And will the loser of that QB battle decide to transfer?

      1. Face facts:
        The Bisons are the National Champs. Ask the NCAA…


          1. OK, here is one from 1/10/2015.

            Don’t ever bet against the Thundering Herd!!!


            I grew up near Fargo/Moorhead and the Herd was a big deal back then, but I’m amazed at how much of a following they have now.

            1. HAH!! I knew it!! They are REPEAT national champs… DON’T HATE!!!

      2. Miller can enroll in grad school and transfer wherever he wants next year without sitting out for a season. If he wants to be a QB at the next level that’s the smartest move for him to make.

        I personally think he’s capable of being a high-end RB in the pros, so I’d like to see him come back to OSU and switch positions a la Denard Robinson. Doubt it’ll happen, but who knows.

    3. I-O!

      have they even peaked with this season? I mean, they have loads of underclass talent returning.

    4. I-O!!

      Where are those extra 60,000 Dispatch copies?

      We need some up here in Cleveland/Akron. The ABJ only held their presses to put a photo of Zeke running away from a quacker on the front, then cried about the game ending late.

      1. I just stood on a downtown street and sold hawked the last 50 copies. True story. More coming from printing plant, though. We burned through 5,000 downtown in no time. If you don’t want to buy one from me personally, though, try here.

        1. I’m told the link is working sporadically because of high volume.

          1. I’d say so. Broken Apache page is the result.

        2. Here at CLE there are free copies of the PD with headline: “Return to Glory”,. I wonder if the writer sees the irony as that was the headline after the Browns beat the Colts 27-0 in 1964.

          1. Dafuq? Free? I spent $1 for the same P.O.S. (man, the PD has fallen far and long, hasn’t it?) at a local Sheetz in Akron.

        3. I’ve (actually my wife has) bought glossy reprints from the Dispatch (processed by Cord Camera) before – for the Crew’s MLS Cup championship in 2008. High quality. Don’t want to know how much it cost, though.

  14. Wife Shoots Husband Surprising Her With Breakfast

    A North Carolina man tried to surprise his wife with breakfast in bed, but he wound up surprising her so much that she shot him, reports WTVR. Police say that Zia Segule, 28, left their Fayetteville home about 10am yesterday, picked up some breakfast, and then returned. In doing so, he triggered the house alarm. When he got to the couple’s bedroom, wife Tiffany, 27, shot him through the closed door, reports the Fayetteville Observer. He was struck in the upper chest, but, luckily, escaped serious injury. No charges are being filed.

    1. Will they have ‘you almost killed me!’ sex?

    2. Upper chest wounds are usually serious.

      1. Maybe it was a weakly propelled bullet that had been slowed by a good door.

        1. True. That’s a good door or a poor pistol. I keep a 12 gauge myself. Then again I would identify my target so maybe this was the proper caliber choice for the lady.

    3. Always know your target.

      Though did he not deactivate the alarm after he tripped it?

      1. The code was their anniversary, so he’d forgotten it.

        1. ^that’s good!

          1. A good shoot

    4. I said sunny side up, mother fucker!!!

    5. That’s what you get for not bothering to make the breakfast yourself.

  15. We sure don’t need 3 million prints of the alt-text.

    1. Just one…

      *single tear runs down cheek*

  16. People carrying armloads — seriously — of papers out of our lobby this morning. I think we should name Cardale Jones our new editor.

    1. I would be totally OK if you guys replaced Ray Stein with Zeke. Stein’s a total dick when it comes to anything having to do with summer sports being played in the city not named “baseball”.

  17. Police In Riot Gear Use Tear Gas, Pepper Spray On Crowds On Ohio State Campus

    Some officers used pepper spray to clear revelers from the street, while canisters of tear gas were also deployed. The crowds began going home within about two hours.

    WCMH-TV, showing images of revelers burning a couch, reported Tuesday that police arrested a handful of students who could face both criminal and university charges. The Columbus Dispatch reports that some students helped the Fire Division and used a fire extinguisher to put out the couch fire.

    Gunfire in the campus area after the game was reported by police dispatchers, with no reports of injuries, according to the Columbus Dispatch.

    1. Couches? Pikers. Call me when they flip over a news van or set a cop car of fire like proper NCAA championship fans.

      1. They’re just trying to gentrify Columbus

    2. They had some video where a person (I’m guessing not a Dispatch reporter, but rather a regular person) standing on the sidewalk got sprayed directly in the camera and presumably the face by a balaklava-wearing stormtrooper. Just as a “fuck you, stop filming”.

      They extensively use horses for crowd control in Columbus, and frankly, that’s all you need, especially when everyone’s in a good mood. Horses are intimidating. Here they had horses, but also APC’s and apparently the Crimean 3rd Infantry.

      1. CPD has never been known as a gentle one. I remember going down to Red White and Boom one year and being amazed at how absolutely ruthless they were to people shooting off fireworks.

        1. The only time it’s cool is when they team up with the State Highway Patrol trainees at the Fairgrounds and bash some visiting Torontonian heads at Crew Stadium. Because those fuckers deserve it.

          On at least one occasion, they brought in one of the many, many CPD helicopters to deal with those pricks.

          1. They love their helicopters. That’s how they would identify firework terrorists to the ground units.

            1. My last quarter, I lived on N. 4th at 11th.

              CONSTANT helicopters. It got so I couldn’t fall asleep without them. Ok, that’s a bit of an exaggeration.

              I can’t remember what exactly tripped it off, but on one of Toronto FC’s first visits, their Serbian fans thought for some reason that it was a Red Star vs. Dinamo Zagreb match, and a helicopter set itself down right next to a mob of them at a tailgate on the east side of CCS. Kind of funny.

      2. Well horses are a good way to control crowds.

        Especially after the doomed experiment of Montana State to use police ewes to control the crowd. Not only did it not stop the students from rioting, but led to a huge increase in sexual assaults.

  18. Ohio State beat Oregon last night to win college football’s national championship.

    Poor Disney World. The student athletes aren’t allowed to advertise for them and the coaches can’t pay for them to go.

    1. Brutus was in a commercial just seconds after the game ended where he was given tickets to DW.

  19. “The gasoline price has fallen so fast that in certain markets people are going to look to reduce ethanol blending” and instead buy credits, Andy Lipow, president of Lipow Oil Associates LLC in Houston said in a Jan. 6 telephone interview. “It’s not a good thing for refiners. It slightly impacts the fall of retail gasoline prices.”

    Oil so cheap it raises the energy density of a gallon of gas!

    1. It would be interesting to see how my car would react to something other than E10. That’s what it’s been burning since I bought the thing.

      1. I bough ethanol free gas for my Tacoma and didn’t notice any significant improvement in performance or efficiency. Maybe with other vehicles it makes more of a difference.

        1. Where it makes a big difference is in small engines. Any not too old car shouldn’t care much. But in small engines you get less power and if you leave gas in them it soaks up water and makes a mess and shortens the life of the engine.

    2. Yes, do that. Alcohol gas sucks.

  20. “California Gov. Jerry Brown sold a $6 billion tax increase to voters in 2012 by promising that nearly half of the money would go to bolster public schools. Critics argued that much of the new revenue would wind up in California’s severely underfunded teacher pension system. They were right.

    Last June Mr. Brown signed legislation that will require school districts to increase funding for teachers’ pensions from less than $1 billion this year in school year 2014-15, which started in September, to $3.7 billion by 2021, gobbling up much of the new tax money. With the state’s general government pension fund, Calpers, also demanding more money, California taxpayer advocate Joel Fox recently observed that no matter what local politicians tell voters, when you see tax increases, “think pensions.””-Wall Street Journal

    That’s California for you

    1. “…(Moonbeam) sold a $6 billion tax increase to voters…”

      They have the government they deserve.

  21. “Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.) says he will not seek the GOP presidential nomination in 2016. ”

    Clearing the way for Romney?

    1. Another “do not hire me” tattoo.

    2. Runner up in the Judge Napolitano look alike contest.

  22. The 5 most haunting masturbation-related injuries

    1. Don’t Put That In There! Vacuum Cleaners Are No Place For Penises

    2. What Goes In Must Come Out?Eventually

    3. Be Careful With Your Butt!

    4. The Dildo From Hell

    5. Rubbing Things the Wrong Way
    A machinist landed in the hospital after he decided to stimulate himself by rubbing his groin on an engine’s canvas belt. It ended badly. He wound up splitting his scrotum wide open. But these kinds of injuries are embarrassing, and not everyone is good at asking for help. He decided to take care of things himself? by stapling the wound together

    1. It didn’t contain two old favourites that Spy magazine found in a medical journal:

      * the woman who came into ER with a mass trapped in her vagina. Turned out to be a frozen deer tongue that had thawed

      * the woman with vaginal lacerations. Pressed to reveal the name of the bastard who had so abused her, she admitted she’d been masturbating with a pair of scissors. She added that “no man can compare with the feel of cold hard steel”

      1. I’m not sure whether the scissors or the engine belt is worse, but both are making me cringe.

        She realizes she could find cold hard steel which isn’t sharp, right?

      2. masturbating with a pair of scissors.


    2. He actually split open his scrotum? That might be the most painful thing I’ve ever heard about.

      1. Really? I mean, there is already a seam there. Splitting open somewhere without a seam seems somehow worse.

        1. I had intestinal surgery about a decade ago, which involved cutting a footlong incision through my abs. A nurse in my recovery room later that day messed up and I didn’t get any morphine for about 90 minutes. When my abs would clench I literally can’t imagine how something could hurt more.

          1. Sounds like you should have caught up with her in a parking garage a few months later and hit her with a pipe.

            1. My mother was so angry, especially because she had kept telling them I was just being a whiny kid, that the surgeon immediately threw the nurse off of the ward for the week.

              1. One of the few things that kept me from going back and burning down a hospital was that the night nurse on my floor was this incredibly kind woman who, in a twist of small town coincidence, was also the girl who had gone to the prom with my gay uncle.

                1. “the night nurse on my floor was this incredibly kind woman who, in a twist of small town coincidence, was also the girl who had gone to the prom with my gay uncle.”

                  Please tell me you turned this into a story.

                  1. Please tell me you turned this into a story.

                    Noooo! Have you read his stories?

                    1. Yeah, I’d never do that to her.

      2. I remember reading an account of a man who toured a british prison ship in the late 1700’s and saw a man walking around with one testical outside his scrotum dangling to his knees.

      3. I remember reading the article like 20 years ago. The splitting open wasn’t the worst. The infection came from him chosing to staple it shut himself and go about his business like nothing happened

    3. “Autoerotic stimulation with the aid of self-inserted urethral foreign bodies has been existent since time immemorial and have presented an unusual but known presentation to Urologist.”

      I must admit … that had *never* occurred to me.

      1. What are you, a Quaker?

        1. Probably not as much as the guy who jammed a fork up his snopp.

    4. Great comments from the clients of a free clinic in Minneapolis:


      “I have reason to believe my penis was exposed to LSD. When I ejaculate I have flashbacks.”

      “My hair is falling out and the sun hurts my crotch.”

      “I went to a party, had a few beers, woke up in a closet later on and my face stunk and my dick hurt.”

      “My last period looked like meat.”

      “How am I supposed to do lap dances smelling like a dead fish?”

      “I have food chunks in my urine.”

      “Had sex with my daughter’s fianc? and then douched with Lysol–feelin’ a little raw down there.”

      “Scabs on my butt and I’m losing my mind.”

      “I’m releasing semen when I take a crap.”

      “I was poked in the rectum with the infected finger of a 70-year-old homosexual man.”

      “Can’t you put the swab in further?”

      “I had sex with my baby’s momma, sex with my other baby’s momma and my other new baby’s momma has disease.”

      “Last time I had sex I passed something that looked like Cream of Wheat before it’s cooked.”

      “I think my boyfriend knows what’s going on. He’s been calling me a ‘chlamydiahoris.'”

  23. OT: I spammed the PM links yesterday after every had already moved on with their lives, so I’m spamming you guys this morning! Thanks to Swiss Servator, Zeb, and trshmnstr for replying yesterday.

    My company is going through a slump at the moment and there’s the possibility that I may be looking for a new job in a few weeks whether I want to or not. Unfortunately, the job I got roped into doesn’t really have any private sector applications and I’d like to change my career path a good bit.

    Do you have any advice for trying to switch careers? Apply to the entry level positions? I’m an electrical engineer if that helps you with some context and I’d like to continue working as one.

    1. So you want to get into EE, but the previous job isn’t very EE related?

      Where are you living right now, too?

      1. Sorry, I’m being vague to avoid telling you my life story.

        I took a job that was going to focus on PCB design and analog and digital circuit design. A new manager got hired in two weeks later and said my department wasn’t going to do that anymore. It was going to be contracted out. So I had to learn a completely new job that had almost nothing to do with what I was interested in.

        I’d like to get back to circuit design, but I’ve spent the last three years doing something else. So I’m stuck in a position where I have work experience, but not in the field that I’m interested in. And I’ve tried to do projects on the side, but with little success because my job required 50-70 hour weeks for almost a year and a half straight and I was on-call 24 hours a day, so I went through some major burn out.

      2. Oh, and I’m in Colorado, but not particularly attached to the place if push comes to shove.

        1. My company in Northern Colorado has lots of openings, but they all seem to be related to the wafer fab right now.

        2. I have an idea for a business, plus I have a business. I am also in Colorado. Just sayin’ if you are interested in entrepreneurial exploits we should drink…how much do you know about drones and Arduinos and Raspberry Pis?

          1. We should definitely drink. I’m in Boulder. Whereabouts are you? I’m very interested in entrepreneurial exploits. I have one or two ideas of my own but I need the kick in the pants to actually start executing on them.

            I’ve worked a little bit with Arduinos. I’ve been leaning more towards the Edison than the Raspberry Pi – mainly because the Edison has bluetooth and my background is more embedded.

            I’ll find you in a more recent thread and say hello.

    2. Hey Jep, here are a couple of companies to look at if you are interested in moving to the Columbia Gorge area in Oregon. Insitu and Cloud Cap Technologies.
      Cloud Cap doesnt have any openings listed but they are taking resumes for EE’s. Good Luck.

  24. 7 conservatives who have compared Obama to Hitler
    Texas congressman Randy Weber is only the latest to make the demented comparison

    Texas Republican Congressman Randy Weber came under withering criticism last night after he posted a tweet comparing President Obama with Adolf Hitler. The occasion for such an incendiary comparison? Unlike Obama, who did not attend an anti-terror solidarity rally in Paris this weekend, Hitler did think it “important” to get to the city, Weber wrote, in a reference to Germany’s 1940 occupation of Paris:

    Even Adolph Hitler thought it more important than Obama to get to Paris. (For all the wrong reasons.) Obama couldn’t do it for right reasons

    Conservatives may spend a great deal of time asserting that Obama is a dirty socialist, but Weber, a Tea Partyer elected to succeed longtime Texas Rep. Ron Paul in 2012, is but the latest conservative to link Obama with the fascist dictator. Here are six others.

    1. I prefer the Mussolini comparisons. Almost no difference between Obama’s ideas and Mussolini’s policies in the late 20’s. Up to and including military intervention in Libya.

      1. Obama don’t make the trains run on time.

      2. Who was that called Obama el Deuce?

        1. I thought it was El Douche?

      3. He’s more of a Paul von Hindenberg. Not a dictator himself, but set up all the bureaucracy the dictator would make great use of when they arrived later.

    2. Thankfully, no one on the left ever compared Bush to Hitler. They are above such things.

      1. Well, it is an intellectual website with a highly educated readership, so I am sure they’ll point out the obvious hypocrisy in their comments. No, no – you go look. I’ll hang out here.

    3. You know who else was like Hitler?

      1. William Henry Harrison? Grover Cleveland? James Buchanan?

        1. Kitler*

          Damn autocorrect

          1. Awww! “You vill pett me, NAU!”

      2. Mr. Hilter of the National Bocialist party?

      3. NIXON?

        1. Schickelgruber?

  25. Daily dose of derp: All those sane social democrats of Europe keep asking me why is America so crazy?

    In all the Nordic countries, there is broad general agreement across the political spectrum that only when people’s basic needs are met — when they can cease to worry about their jobs, their incomes, their housing, their transportation, their health care, their kids’ education, and their aging parents — only then can they be free to do as they like. While the U.S. settles for the fantasy that, from birth, every kid has an equal shot at the American dream, Nordic social welfare systems lay the foundations for a more authentic equality and individualism.

    These ideas are not novel. They are implied in the preamble to our own Constitution. You know, the part about “we the People” forming “a more perfect Union” to “promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity.”

    Clearly we’re liberty-ing incorrectly.

    1. “free” to do as they like…

      I don’t think they define the word the same.

      1. ^This.

        That phrase is being used by people who say ‘hate speech is not free speech’.

    2. “…there is broad general agreement across the political spectrum that only when people’s basic needs are met — when they can cease to worry about their jobs, their incomes, their housing, their transportation, their health care, their kids’ education, and their aging parents…”

      They think they’re sooo smart. As if that’s the ‘only’ thing we will cease to worry about. I’m sure they’ll find other things beyond what’s mentioned here.

      Also, seems to me planned equality and individualism are mutually exclusive.

      1. There’s a word for those whose employment, food, clothing, housing, education and healthcare is provided for by their betters… what is it again?

        The jews under Pharoah…
        The slaves in the antebellum South…
        The kulaks in the gulag….
        The jews (again!) in the concentration camps….

        Ah, yes, “slaves”.

        Has that idiot never heard the expression that a government big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take everything you have?!?

    3. Also, the link doesn’t seem to function.

    4. Thankfully you SFed the link so we don’t have to read the rest of the derp.

    5. Your link, it is SF’d.

    6. Hey slaves in the south didn’t have to worry about their jobs, incomes, housing, transportation, health care, kids, parents, etc. All the had to do was work, and their “betters” would make sure all their basic needs were taken care.

      Who knew that a leftist’s ideal society is basically a plantation?

      1. I’m up higher than you…

    7. “While the U.S. settles for the fantasy that, from birth, every kid has an equal shot at the American dream, Nordic social welfare systems lay the foundations for a more authentic equality and individualism.”

      Did you know Sweden has the largest employment gap between natives and immigrants in the industrialized world?

      It’s true. Native Swedes have an unemployment rate of like 4.5% and immigrants are up around 16%.

      Clearly every kid has an equal shot in Scandinavia.

      1. Let’s be honest: Sweden’s low income inequality has been entirely caused by the fact that, until recently, they were the most homogenous country on planet Earth.

        To further that point, what would America’s unemployment rate be right now if we had the same demographics Sweden had historically, i.e. we were all of white European descent and we had very low immigration?

        Our unemployment rate would be like 3.5%. The reason for Sweden’s low income inequality is an awe inspiring lack of cultural diversity. Since Sweden’s started having much more immigration, they have among the fastest growing income inequality in the world.

        Progs don’t like to do things like ‘look at the evidence’ though, so they talk about a majestic Swedish utopia that only exists in their minds.

        1. Do you think ethnic diversity generally retards economic equality? Why?

          1. I think cultural diversity causes a lack of income inequality Bo. Because different cultural groups have different educational backgrounds, different historic incomes, different goals and desires, etc.

            This such a simple concept I’m sure even you can grasp it, unless you think someone who immigrates to Sweden from Somalia is going to behave exactly the same as a native Swede.

            Which, knowing you, you’ll probably try to argue.

            1. “I think cultural diversity causes a lack of income inequality Bo”

              This obviously should read ‘equality’ instead of ‘inequality.’

          2. How about this…

            Immigration in and of itself promoted income inequality because there is always a new group of utterly unskilled immigrants not familiar with the language, customs, or institutions of your country arriving.

            So Immigrant group 1 arrives, pulls down the bottom of the wage ladder, gains skills and rises up the ladder but the bottom stays forever lowered becuase there are now new immigrants who are in that same state arriving.

        2. Kyle Smith recently had an article that supports your contention. Some fun little trivia in there.


    8. An extremely pure fantasy projection of an American liberal onto the messy reality of the Nordic states.

      This article reads like some twenty year old girl who still believes in fairies.

      It’s like I went into a 1990s era time machine and grabbed the Nation off the shelf.

      1. How did you get the link?

        1. Just googled the first sentence of the block quote


    9. And yet they still manage to be LESS socialist than the US.

      Less progressive taxation, less reliance on government welfare, less police, fewer laws, and less and more intelligent business regulation.

      1. Less police and more intelligent regulation, maybe. But less taxation and less reliance on welfare? Hell, no.

        1. I said less progressive taxation not less taxation.

          That said I think it might be a lot closer than you think on the less taxation issue. As near as I can tell the US is the only country where the political sub divisions (states, provinces, municipalities, counties, etc) collect significant levels of taxation and when you include those taxes total taxes paid in the US are somewhere around 40% of gdp, not the 23% federal tax that is usually reported and that is not so far off of the 40 – 50% of GDP that most European countries collect.

          They have also been significantly cutting their welfare state in the last couple of decades

  26. Herself.com, the feminist website full of naked women. And a few of them are attractive.

    1. They’re doing it right.

    2. Would it be ironic if men lust over these photos without giving a thought to…wait who are they again?

      1. Reading the interviews makes them a lot less attractive.

    3. And a few of them are attractive.

      Fixed it for you.

    4. Only 2 are morbidly obese? I call bullshit.

    5. I developed one C cup breast and one A cup breast. … I have since had plastic surgery to even them out.

      No wonder “I project confidence.”

      1. Don’t leave us in the dark! Did she increase the A or decrease the C???

        1. SF provided the link. Find out for yourself, slacker!

          1. I’m not a slacker! I’m rebelling against the low pay and harsh conditions of a Reason commenter.

        2. Split the difference, moved matter from one to the other to stop at a B

      2. There now both As?

    6. ‘Without us there is no future.’

      Without feminists there is a future just fine.

  27. Jonah Goldberg: The problem with Romney nostalgia

    The problem is that “Romney for president” is now an art house film thinking it’s a blockbuster franchise and that there’s a huge market for another sequel. There’s not.

    Don’t get me wrong. I wanted him to win in 2012, and I think voters made a serious mistake not following my advice. I’ve met the man and I know several of his friends and former staffers. He inspires great loyalty in them, and that speaks well of him. He’s an honorable, capable and decent person.

    But I know lots of honorable, capable and decent people. I don’t want them to run for president either.

    1. How is Romney nostalgia even a thing? I don’t remember too many conservatives being all that excited for him the last time.

      1. I think that’s why. He didn’t have a lot of hype, so he isn’t suffering hype backlash.

      2. It’s harder to disappoint people when you’re not in office.

  28. The biggest threat to French free speech isn’t terrorism. It’s the government.

    Within an hour of the massacre at the headquarters of the Charlie Hebdo newspaper, thousands of Parisians spontaneously gathered at the Place de la Republique. Rallying beneath the monumental statues representing Liberty, Equality and Fraternity, they chanted “Je suis Charlie” (“I am Charlie”) and “Charlie! Liberty!” It was a rare moment of French unity that was touching and genuine.

    Yet one could fairly ask what they were rallying around. The greatest threat to liberty in France has come not from the terrorists who committed such horrific acts this past week but from the French themselves, who have been leading the Western world in a crackdown on free speech.

      1. Amazing really.

      2. That was doubleplusgood.

      3. A college kid on Twitter. Doing the journalism that CNN, the networks, the NY Times, etc, etc, etc, etc, won’t do.

  29. Hrrmmm… New VAT rules end my European sales – and hundreds of small companies.

    The only tax I hate more than VAT is Property Tax.

    1. Nothing like a tax on shit you already own. Though a VAT tax or national sales tax doesn’t sound so bad as long as we got rid of all the other taxes first. It’s a tax scheme that would give you the greatest control over your money, makes it easier to save when you want to, etc.

      1. The “getting rid of all the other taxes” part is the hard part.

        Once a new tax is imposed, there is no getting rid of it. Even if you manage to get rid of, say, the income tax, chances are some scumbag down the line will bring it back.

      2. I think I would take a VAT as a replacement for other taxes (income tax particularly). Another great thing about getting rid of income tax is that you don’t have to give so much personal financial information to the government every year.

        1. Weeeeellll…. how bout both? Cuz that is what you will get. Acting like they will repeal the income tax to pass VAT is a fucking pipe dream. In reality, saying “The VAT is better than any other tax” = VAT + all other taxes…

  30. I guess it’s settled then. The best college football team this year are the Virginia Tech Hokies.

    1. They lost to East Carolina, who lost to Temple, who lost to Navy, who lost to Ohio State. So all is right in the universe.

      1. There’s an East Carolina?

        1. It’s just West of South Carolina.

        2. It’s hard to find. It’s under water.

          1. The East Carolina mermen. They’re 157-0 all-time at home in Atlantis stadium, and 0-256 all-time on the road.

    2. Virginia Tech Honkies? and people complain about the Washington Red Skins….

      1. The Milwaukee Bucks is racist as well.

  31. The satirical French magazine Charlie Hebdo will publish its next issue tomorrow with an initial print run of 1 million copies. An additional 2 million copies may hit newsstands by the end of the week.

    Is that really such a good idea?

  32. Morality in Media criticizes R-rating for ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

    Apparently they believe “some unusual behavior” isn’t sufficiently specific.

    1. Still don’t understand how this book somehow made BDSM mainstream.

      Next time you’re at a book store pick up a copy and read a few pages, it’s very poorly written.

      1. It started as Twilight fan-fiction and she made some minor alterations and changed the names.

        1. I thought that was only a rumor.

        2. Couldn’t be worse than J.R.Ward. That’s what my wife is into right now. I tried reading some just to humor her, but it was terrible. I mean just awful. But she likes them. No accounting for taste, right?

          1. OMFG that sounds like shit.

            The King: A Novel of the Black Dagger Brotherhood

            After turning his back on the throne for centuries, Wrath, son of Wrath, finally assumed his father’s mantle–with the help of his beloved mate. But the crown sets heavily on his head. As the war with the Lessening Society rages on, and the threat from the Band of Bastards truly hits home, he is forced to make choices that put everything–and everyone–at risk. Beth Randall thought she knew what she was getting into when she mated the last pure blooded vampire on the planet: An easy ride was not it. But when she decides she wants a child, she’s unprepared for Wrath’s response–or the distance it creates between them. The question is, will true love win out… or tortured legacy take over?

            Wrath, the son of Wrath. Wrath, the son of Wrath. Wrath, the son of Wrath.

            1. I read one of the Angel series, and I regretted it. Terrible. She loves them though. Just got the last one in the mail and started reading it yesterday.

            2. “the Band of Bastards”

              Hey everyone! We made it into bad fiction. Who knew the Hit&Run; commentariat would be slightly famous!

      2. While I was doing my online dating thing about 33% of the women listed the book in their profile as one of their favorites.

        I stayed away.

        1. My wife likes terribly written crap like that, but it puts her in the mood so it’s all good.

          1. The youngsters at work were swapping it between themselves. I picked it up, read aloud a few sentences mockingly, and then told them off for their awful literary taste, and advising them that they shouldn’t be reading mummy porn when at their age they should be out doing it.

          2. Yeah, same here. Mine is reading one as we write. It really is horrible crap, but hey, if it makes her happy it make me happy.

        2. You shouldn’t have. Schlocky romances with over the top sex scenes ARE porn for females. We aren’t looking for high artistic merit any more than a guy watching the average porn movie is looking for an Oscar performance. SO you just excluded all the horny girls. WINNING

          1. Yeah, but I’ve never seen a guy’s dating profile list Naughty Schoolgirls 15 as a favorite movie.

            1. But it may well be his favorite movie. He doesn’t because there’s a double standard. Guy porn bad, girl porn tacky but socially acceptable. You’d be hard pressed to find a porn section in a public library, but there’s always a romance section. And of course, you have the vast number of women who are mortified if you point to out to them that romance novels serve EXACTLY the same function for women as porn movies do for men, because things men like are teh evil.

    2. Is any of it actually unusual? After all, everybody has some predilectoin that the rest of us would call a kink.

      1. Having some kind of “kink” is usual, but that doesn’t mean that specific ones are not unusual.

        1. If it wasn’t unusual would it still be a kink? After all nobody talks about a breast fetish.

          1. After all nobody talks about a breast fetish.

            You mean your OK with someone cutting them off and keeping them as trophies?

    3. BDSM isn’t my thing but most of my friends are heavily into it and from what they all say the book isn’t even good BDSM since there are major technical flaws and massive consent issues in the book.

      Basically what they tell me is Christian Grey would be utterly ostracized from the BDSM community as a dangerous predator and any girls seen talking to him would be taken aside and warned about him.

  33. Ohio State beat Oregon last night to win college football’s national championship.

    Damn straight they did.


  34. China monitors the moon: Spacecraft enters orbit to plan for possible mining mission

    Feat achieved by service module of China’s unmanned test lunar orbiter
    It is now in an eight-hour orbit around the moon, state media reported
    The craft will collect data to aid planning of the 2017 Chang’e 5 mission
    Chang’e 5 is being designed to make a soft landing on the moon and collect at least 4lbs (2kg) of rock and soil samples before returning to Earth
    China is also looking to mine the moon for the rare helium isotope that some scientists claim could meet global energy demand far into the future


  35. Volcanoes ARE cooling Earth: Aerosols from small eruptions have reduced global temperatures and tropical rainfall

    Volcanoes may have cooled the Earth by 0.05?C to 0.12?C since 2000
    Scientists had overlooked the role of aerosols from small eruptions
    The aerosols accumulate between the stratosphere and troposphere
    This layer of the atmosphere is difficult to study as clouds obscure it
    Eruptions through 1990s and 2000s have contributed to warming ‘pause’
    Global temperatures plateaued since 1998 after rapid warming in 1990s
    The findings mean models predicting climate change need to be revised


    1. Was there a significant increase in eruptions in the 1990s and 2000s compared to the previous 20 years? Or is this just another “the heat is hiding in the deep ocean” bullshit excuse?

      1. Rhetorical questions; I’m pretty sure we all know the answers.

      2. No increase either in intensity or frequency… on land anyway.

        Most of the seabed on the other hand is not monitored.

        Eventually they will figure out which prophet’s lifespan they miscounted and know why Jesus didn’t return on schedule.

    2. “…models predicting climate change need to be revised..”

      No. Shit.

    3. Scientists had overlooked the role of aerosols from small eruptions


      The science is settled, the models are accurate, nothing was overlooked.

      In (IIRC) 2006 or 2009 a researcher had suggested that warming at the equator would lead to a less stable polar vortex pattern which in turn would lead to off-setting cooling of North America and Northern Europe. Michael Mann himself dismissed the idea, saying the experts had already looked into the idea and determined that equatorial warming would actually do just the opposite, lead to a more constricted polar vortex pattern.

      Yet we all know that the bitter cold last winter caused by the more-southerly-than-normal polar vortex was yet more proof that the global warming alarmists like Michael Mann are absolutely 100% correct.

      (I remember that particular bit so well because the author of the piece actually said – I kid you not – that it made perfect sense that equatorial warming would constrict polar air current patterns because “warm air rises”. You have to be pretty damn ignorant to think that warm air “rises” from the equator toward the North Pole, that north is “up” on the planet Earth.)

  36. Kimberley Garner enjoys Barbados holiday with handsome boyfriend as she shows off her athletic curves in skimpy black bikini

    Way to skinny for John.

    1. No idea who she is, but she’s hot.

  37. Feminists have trouble with words: part 123,279

    But the ever lingering threat, already rapidly swelling up in commentary online around the world, is that of an equally violent reactionary backlash that ? unlike Islamic extremists ? cloaks itself in the lofty rhetoric of democracy and liberty. #KillAllMuslims trended on Twitter as people clamored to spread and defend Charlie Hebdo’s many inarguably racist caricatures of Muslims, as well as its often puerile humor ? in one case depicting the schoolgirls captured by Boko Haram as welfare queens (see below) ? while braying for the death, deportation, and bombing of anyone perceived to be Muslim; as we go to press, mosques in France have been attacked, likely in retaliation. All this screaming beneath a banner of “Free Speech.”

    Words are not violence. Christ, is there a feminist dictionary out there with this shit in it?

    1. But we seem to acknowledge this while also disclaiming responsibility, as if the words themselves are at once weapons and harmless, deadly and yet also mere toys. Free speech, however, is not a toy. It is a responsibility, a compact, which democracy presupposes we are mature enough to use justly. We are called on as citizens not to use our rights for bacchanals of self-indulgence and emotional expectoration, but to do the work of maintaining society.

      What does it mean when we see words as weapons that we have no responsibility to use ethically?

      The worst thing we could do in the wake of this massacre is to wrap ourselves in knots defending free speech in the abstract while finishing the work of terrorists by torching what is left of it.

      1. Free speech, however, is not a toy. It is a responsibility, a compact, which democracy presupposes we are mature enough to use justly.

        Oh my god. No that’s not how freedom works. It is whatever anyone wants it to be or it’s not free.

        1. Freedom means asking permission and obeying orders.

          1. They’ll never understand the possibility of the tables being turned on them and having their speech and politics being outlawed.

            What did that former KGB guy say? “When the military boot is crushing their balls, THEN they will understand, but not likely”

            1. Yuri Bezmenov, and he said –

              “Most of these people would be marked for extermination because the psychological shock of what they will see in the future, what the beautiful society of equality and social justice means in practice they will be very unhappy…….In the future these people will be squashed like cockroaches. No one will pay them anything for their beautiful ideas of equality. This they don’t understand and it will be the greatest shock for them of course…….As I mentioned earlier exposure to true information does not matter anymore. A person who is demoralized is unable to access true information; facts tell nothing to them. Even if you shower them with proof, with documents, with pictures, even if I take him by force to the Soviet Union and show him concentration camps he will refuse to believe it. When he receives a boot to his bottom, when the military boot crushes his balls then he will understand, but not before.”


      2. Who could be against reasonable, common sense restrictions on guns speech?

      3. I see elements of the left, but none more so than the ‘feminists’, doubling down on their push for squashing free speech.

        This is still my favorite:


        It is too long to post here but scroll about halfway down to her list of things we need to do here in the US. That is her idea of free speech, and yes she calls it that; free speech.

        1. Oh, take note that she calls for re-education centers.

        2. Priceless comment:

          Bada Bing ?2 days ago
          If it weren’t for rape, you would never get laid.

    2. Sticks and stones can break my bones and words are even worse.

    3. How come everytime their is a terrorist attack we hear all this talk about a potential ant-muslim backlash that never seems to manifest it’s self? There has to be a reason why. Any thoughts?

      1. Brendan O’Neill theorized that it’s because elite progressives think everyone else in their respective nations are violent, mouthbreathing racists just looking for an excuse to murder a minority. Therefore, they assume there will be a massive violent backlash that doesn’t manifest because the public is vastly more moral than progressives imagine.

        It’s especially bizarre in light of the fact that the Jews in France are a much more besieged minority than the Muslims but the media doesn’t seem to care about them.

      2. It’s not a fear they have, but a wish they are making.

      3. So firebombing mosques isn’t backlash. What is?

        1. Sure it is, get back to me when we see westerners makingh video’s beheading Muslims

        2. I would definitely consider that backlash, but I’m not sure it could be called violence. I’d call it vandalism. It appears that stun grenades were thrown in, but no one was there. Not sure why they’re calling it a firebombing.

        3. Not what this describes.

          There was some kind of explosion in a kebab shop near a mosque?

          three blank grenades?

          Shots fired in thedirection of a mosque?

          Sounds like ‘we’ve gotta find something to fake up into a backlash’ to me.

  38. So fucking glad I was teleworking yesterday.

    Though this morning’s commute was royally fucked. I think people who normally ride Metro said “Fuck this – I’m driving”. And I decided to take the bus because the line that was affected by the electrical arcing was the line where I live.

    Commuting sucks, no matter which way you slice it. Let’s all just have 100% telework and get rid o fthe American office.

    1. Glad to hear you survived!

      Who else lives in DC and takes the metro to work?

      1. All these monocle-wearers up in here probably take orphan-driven limos to work. Especially John.

      2. metro bus, was slow this AM, but avoided the mess last night…

    2. Rumors abound in my office that we’re going to 100% telework in the next couple months. Right now we’re on an every other day system because we ran out of space and we’re doubled up in cubicles. But the restructuring (4th one in the 8 years I’ve been here! Every two-bit political appointee makes us do a reorg so they can mark their territory) we’re doing now will make space even tighter.

      Couple that with a buyout of my condo for a nice bit of cash, and I may find myself in the countryside. Though if I ever lost this job, the commute from Linden or Markham, VA would suck ass.

  39. My reason beanie finally arrived last night. Thank dog, because that liquor store is really overdue for a robbing.

    1. It’s say you’re robbing them to protest the taxes on alcohol.

    2. Remember to say please when you’re demanding they open the motherfucking register

  40. Dept. of smelly research results:

    “Arts and culture add more to the economy than thought”
    “Creative industries including Hollywood and broadcasting contribute more to the U.S. economy than previously thought, the government said Monday in its first official analysis of the arts and culture sector’s economic value.
    The report from the National Endowment for the Arts and U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis”

    1. If it’s actually profitable and cost-effective, then it doesn’t need subsidy from the NEA.

      1. Or tax holidays for film makers.
        Or bent studies by interested parties.
        Or government involvement at all.

    2. This wouldn’t have anything to do with the fact that last year they redefined GDP to include the value of Intellectual Property now would it?

  41. I agree that Miguel `s st0rry is flabbergasting, last saturday I got a new Lotus Esprit from earning $8938 this past 4 weeks and would you believe, ten/k last-month . without a doubt it is the most comfortable work I’ve had . I began this 4 months ago and pretty much straight away was bringin in minimum $86… per-hr . Visit Website ~~~~~~~~ http://www.jobsfish.com

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