Raid Ends Australian Hostage Situation, UVA Rape Story Reinvestigated, Oil Prices Continue Plunge: P.M. Links

• 

  Australian police stormed the café where a man held several folks hostage for 16 hours. Three were killed in the siege, including reportedly the gunman. The suspect has been identified in the Australian media as Man Haron Monis, a Iranian immigrant and Muslim man with a lengthy criminal record.

• While we're all watching Australia, there was a rampage in Philadelphia that has left six dead.
• Do-over! Sabrina Rubin Erdely, the reporter who wrote the heavily disputed University of Virginia gang rape story for Rolling Stone, is reportedly trying to get in touch with people connected to the story to "re-report" it.
• Oil prices continue to plunge. Great for gas prices! Bad for Russia, whose ruble hit record lows.
• A U.S. Marine in the Philippines has been charged with the murder of a transgender woman there.
• Sony is trying to get news organizations to destroy and not report any information given to them from hackers who have stolen all sorts of documents from the company's servers.
• With the death of a northern white rhino at the San Diego Zoo, there are now only five of the creatures left in the world.

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Comments

[Fist of Etiquette]

No more Linception?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hello.

Oh, look who decided to show up.

[Almanian!]

Rhymes with “missed”…

[RBS]

Kist? Cist? Wrist? Mulva?

[Almanian!]

+”Regina!”

[Ted S.]

Bid Whist.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I explained that this morning. Something about seeing potential divergent timelines and keeping clear of alternate universes. Now I exist in both the Root dimension and the Krayewski dimension. (This is the Root dimension.)

[Almanian!]

I don’t know what any of that means, but the words are so pretty when you say them….

*gazes fondly at FoE*

[Leigh]

You use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

-MB

[Enough About Palin]

Michael Bolton? Marlon Brando?

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

It’s Headly!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Sony is trying to get news organizations to destroy and not report any information given to them from hackers who have stolen all sorts of documents from the company’s servers.

Right to be forgotten.

[Ted S.]

The news organizations had a reasonable belief that what they were doing, like what North Carolina did to Brady Heien.

[Bam!]

With the death of a northern white rhino at the San Diego Zoo, there are now only five of the creatures left in the world.

What lucky people got to eat it?

[Almanian!]

I’m actually sorry for the rhino.

[Doghouse Riley Jr.]

Why don’t the big enviro organizations divert some of their cash from funding political campaigns and instead run media campaigns mocking the idea of using rhino horn, etc.? Lots of young pretty girls talking about how only idiots think it works, things like that.

Also, why isn’t there a giant, lucrative trade in fake rhino horn? There are plenty of counterfeit consumer products made now, what’s a few more to keep endangered animals from going extinct?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Sabrina Rubin Erdely, the reporter who wrote the heavily disputed University of Virginia gang rape story for Rolling Stone, is reportedly trying to get in touch with people connected to the story to “re-report” it.

Yeah, that’ll work.

[Injun, as in from India]

She will still get sued for libel, causing grief, etc.

The words she penned are out. What is left is payback for her agenda-driven factually incorrect “journalism”.

I have no sympathy for her.

[PapayaSF]

Her only hope is a total expos?: “Here’s How I Was Fooled.” But the trouble with that is that she has a history of sensational stories that are based on single sources and which are filled with questionable or outright incorrect details.

Her Catholic priest story was based on only junkie who kept changing his story, and claimed things that could not be true.

Her military rape describes a judicial process that bears little resemblance to the procedures followed in the military.

In another story, she described a millionaire killing a skunk with a machine gun, in his house, in front of his children.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Who will do an expose on the exposers?

[Injun, as in from India]

Her only hope is a total expos?:

I, for one, call on her to fully expose herself.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Um…

No.

[HeteroPatriarch]

I just see a white page. Is that just me?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Curses!

[PapayaSF]

That is an unflattering pic, but I’d say she’s not bad.

[HeteroPatriarch]

I wouldn’t say that. She’s not hideous, but she’s not not bad, either. She’s below average.

[PapayaSF]

For her age, I’d say a 6. But then I have a thing for Jewish girls, and she’s much younger than I am.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

In another story, she described a millionaire killing a skunk with a machine gun, in his house, in front of his children.

Is that wrong?

[PapayaSF]

It’s really, really foolish, in several ways.

[Irish]

“In another story, she described a millionaire killing a skunk with a machine gun, in his house, in front of his children.”

In fairness, this is one of many things I would do if I had enough money to be untouchable by the laws of man.

[Andrew S.]

They pay you to be an officer. You don’t have to pay them.

[PapayaSF]

I’m not sure you’re thinking this through. What do you think a skunk might do when it dies a violent death?

[Swiss Servator, Winter kommt!]

Leave a vast inheritance to the rest of the Kennedy family?

[CE]

“Re-report”? When was any actual reporting done for the first story?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Has she been interviewed since the scandal and…I think I’d do her. Not sure.

[DEG]

“I think I’d do her”

Unless it’s an especially debauched hate fuck, I’d have to wonder why you’d spend time on her when you have an all-you-can-eat buffet of French-Canadian women at hand.

[rts]

Never thought about this before:

Low gasoline prices great news for station owners ? really

“We’re in the same shoes as the consumer, the cost of fuel is less for us,” says Kevin Beyer, who owns Performance Fuels, a filling station and convenience store in Smithtown, NY.

That means profits for the 127,000 gas stations across the U.S., and roughly 12,000 across Canada, are rising.

[RBS]

There are only 12,000 gas stations in Canada?

[CE]

That’s a lot. I think there are only 6,000 cars, and maybe 24,000 people.

[Juice]

And one road.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

But rich in spirit!

[rts]

And my axe!

/sorry

[Fist of Etiquette]

Great for gas prices! Bad for Russia…

And kind of bad for anyone sitting on Marcellus Shale.

[PapayaSF]

Some shale plays have low enough costs that they can ride this out. Others, not.

But don’t forget Venezuela, Iran, and a number of other oil producers. They need $100+/barrel to balance their budgets.

[CE]

The US needs fairy dust to balance their budget.

[HeteroPatriarch]

Not really. We’re perfectly capable of balancing the budget, we just put mendacious cunts in charge of it.

[PapayaSF]

And nobody outside of those countries depends on Venezuelan or Iranian currency maintaining value. The dollar is (so far) “too big to fail.”

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Which means NG prices should start going up?

[Warren's Strapon]

Yeah. I have stock options vesting in 3 weeks. They’ve lost nearly $3000 in value in the past month. Guess I won’t be cashing those out anytime soon.

[mauricegirodias]

I’m not in a hurry to buy, but am definitely watching with interest. Last time oil was this cheap, Kodiak Oil & Gas was a table-pounding buy for me at under $.70. So I did. Then it went all the way down to $.25, with a possible intraday low of $.12. Then it hit $16 after it got bought earlier this year. Now I think it’s in the $5s.

Might nibble a little later in some other players (sold a big chunk of my position between $12-14, but I bet the tiny wildcats are going away.

[Raven Nation]

Gunman and two hostages dead in Sydney BTW. No details on what happened but there is some suggestion he opened fire prior to the police entry.

[Ted S.]

The police would suggest that, wouldn’t they?

(Yes, I know, this is actually the sort of case where a SWAT team might actually be a reasonable idea.)

[tarran]

Accroding to the cops they heard gunfire from inside and they made an instant decision to storm the place.

Which is, frankly, a pretty defensible idea. Compare it to the cops in Columbine who allowed the gunman to massacre people in a leisurely manner while the cops laid siege outside the building.

[Raven Nation]

It’s hard to tell from the film clips but I’ve watched them a few times and it does appear shots come from inside the cafe before the police me.

Apparently some of the hostages escaped and this set the gunman off.

But, yes, I share a degree of your skepticism.

[Almanian!]

BACK and to the left!

BACK….and to the left!

/Stone

[Raven Nation]

Which led to this classic parody:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tBz3PqA2Fmc

[Juice]

I immediately thought the cops went in commando style and shot up the place, killing the perp and a couple of victims.

[Drake]

Australia SAS is very good. I would hope they used them and not the local yokels with shotguns.

[invisible furry hand]

From what we know atm, one of the hostages was killed by the gunman as he tried to take the gun from him. This allowed others to escape, and prompted the cops to move in

[Injun, as in from India]

We won’t know the truth until the investigation is complete.

I would not be surprised if it was police bullets that actually killed the hostages.

Remember the Beslan Massacre? The authorities did more harm in that situation.

[Injun, as in from India]

I hit submit and I realized I mentioned the wrong hostage situation. I think there was a movie theater or similar setting where the cops/SWAT pumped in gas into the theater. With Beslan, the islamic knuckleheads actually shot the kids as they were running away.

[Raven Nation]

Same thing at Attica.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Question: If you were sick in a hospital bed and President Obama (Mr. Fantastic) showed up. How would you react?

[Almanian!]

If I could ignore him, I would.

If not, I’d hope to be in barfing range and go all Linda Blair on his ass.

[JEP]

*barfs on Obama*

“oh, I’m sorry. When I’m being raped by someone, I was told that I should throw up on them. Too bad people like you won’t let have a gun to defend myself…”

[RBS]

Take a turn for the worst.

[Ted S.]

So you’d turn to Nicole?

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

A turn FOR Nicole.

Actually achieving Nicole is a mathmatical impossibility.

X as X approaches sideways 8

[Riven]

Depends–what am I sick with?

Something fatal: try not to pass it to him because nobody wants to “martyr” the first black president

Something uncomfortable but nonlethal: pass it on.

[tarran]

So… like herpes?

[Raven Nation]

TIWTANFL

[Riven]

Do people have extended hospital stays for herpes? It sounds more aggressive than I had previously given it credit for.

[RBS]

Maybe?

I am having my first breakout. I am 28 and was a virgin until this year. Ugh. This is EXCRUCIATING. I’m not sure I can take care of myself anymore. I have tried all the tricks. I can’t sleep, eat, walk, or pee. Now I’m on my period. Instead of only having a few blisters, I have upwards of FIFTY, and it’s only day 3. Has anyone heard of being admitted for this? maybe a catheter, strong pain reliever, or anything to make them heal faster? I have two jobs that require me to walk a lot… I can’t shine them on much longer. What do I do?

Ouch.

[Riven]

Oh, my word. That’s awful!

[Irish]

Where is that from and why was this person a virgin at the age of 28?

Getting the herp the first year you had sex after nearly 3 decades on Earth is proof that God hates you, by the way.

[RBS]

Some WebMB forum post.

[Warty]

Like you don’t already know.

[Riven]

Please.

I’d have to do something pretty specific to get it, I think.

[Heroic Mulatto]

It’s called “being born”.

Why You Should Assume Everyone Has Herpes

[Enough About Palin]

Nearly half of African-American have herpes.

http://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/…..tailed.htm

[DEG]

Herpes: The gift that keeps on giving.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Like luggage.

[RBS]

Great, you’re going to give him Ebola. On top of martydom the comments will be polluted by PapayaSF and Mike M. ebolapantsshitting.

[PapayaSF]

I love you, too.

[Acosmist]

Hey, PB has a new alt!

[tarran]

I’d throw my hands up and shriek “Don’t drone me, bro! Don’t drone me!!!!”

Then I’d ask him to send me an autographed collection of his scholarly papers on the U.S. constitution.

[Shirley Knott]

If I had to vomit, I’d get as much on him as possible.
Then I’d order him out of the room.
Or just order him out of the room.
I would not be gracious about it, and I’d whine at every news-sucker to show up that the behavior of these sympathy vampires, feeding second-hand off the misery of others is disgusting.

[CE]

I’m pretty sure I would have to vomit in that situation.

[Ted S.]

Was there supposed to be a link in your comment?

When Reagan was shot, I heard about it on the radio news when I got off the bus: it was a rainy day so Mom was actually at the bus stup to pick us up which didn’t happen every day like it does now. Dad, who was at work, didn’t hear about it, so when he came home from work, Mom said, “Did you hear President Reagan was shot?”

Dad responded, “What’s the punchline?”

[Doghouse Riley Jr.]

I was driving in a lower income area this weekend and saw a dude working as a sign spinner: he was wearing a suit and a weird grinning Obama mask, twirling his Obamacare Insurance sign, well earning his (minimum?) wage.

[PapayaSF]

Cripes, has healthcare.gov sunk to that level?

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

What kind of sick am I?

Sneeze on him?

[Stormy Dragon]

Question: If you were sick in a hospital bed and President Obama (Mr. Fantastic) showed up. How would you react?

SECURITY! *button* *button* *button*

[tarran]

Point to one of the secret service agents and start shrieking “Gun! Gun!”

[JEP]

Wait for the cameras to show up and immediately engage him in the world’s most awkward conversation. Maybe be sitting their wearing a horse head like that guy in Denver.

Wouldn’t it be great if every time you went to talk to one of us lowly citizens, he’d walk into the room to find someone wearing a horse head?

[seguin]

Tell him my new deductible.

[Almanian!]

“Rampage in Philadelphia” would be a great album name.

[Juice]

Bowie already did it.

[Almanian!]

He foresaw GM’s and Chrysler’s bankruptcy….

[GILMORE]

NYT Food Columnist =

Everything is Proof We Need More Taxes

Racism, Police Violence, Climate Change, Excessive CEO Pay, Insufficient Minimum Wage, and Not Enough People Listening to my Yuppie Bullshit Diet Advice = All are problems caused by Not Enough Government Intervention

“…to truly change the food system you really have to change just about everything: good nutrition stems from access to good food; access to good food isn’t going to happen without economic justice; that isn’t going to happen without taxing the superrich; and so on. The same is true of other issues: You can’t fix climate change or the environment without stopping the unlimited exploitation of natural and human resources (see Naomi Klein’s “This Changes Everything”). Same with social well-being.

Everything affects everything. It’s all tied together, and the starting place hardly matters: A just and righteous system will have a positive impact on everything we care about, just as an unjust, exploitative system makes everything worse.”

ITS AMAZING HOW THIS HAMMER APPLIES TO ALL THESE NAIL-LIKE PROBLEMS!? BASK IN MY PROGRESSIVE LIBERAL ENLIGHTENMENT

I re-post this because I have not read such a ungodly abomination of a NYT editorial…. well, in at least a week.

[GILMORE]

Also

A visual representation of what it feels like to read the NYT in NYC surrounded by millions of people who think its the Moral Authority on Everything

[Medical Physics Guy]

I was bored while traveling recently and read some of the NY Times comments. What a bunch of kool aid drinkers. Every failed Democratic initiative, in fact every failure of society, is because the richest one percent aren’t paying their fair share. If they paid their “fair share” every liberal initiative, fantasy and pipe dream would be working perfectly. It was like a religion of true believers.

[Injun, as in from India]

Shine enough light on her, and the “Grey Lady” newspaper looks more like “Rancid Whore”.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Meh, the crossword puzzle is pretty good.

[Injun, as in from India]

That actually hurt my head. Incredible derp.

Thankfully, there was a super hot Bulgari model in an ad that provided some much-needed eye candy.

[gaijin]

Everything affects everything. It’s all tied together,

A sure sign that the speaker will then address a world that is subtle, nuanced and complex in an equally superficial simplistic way by relying on the beliefs of experts and authorities.

[The Other Kevin]

Oil prices continue to plunge. Great for gas prices! Bad for Russia, whose ruble hit record lows.

The Saudis know what they’re doing. Why use drones and soldiers to fight your enemy in a long, drawn-out war, when you can crush him economically?

[GILMORE]

Because the ‘crushing them economically’ isn’t going to work how you expect either

Just offing a possible alternative theory

[CE]

How exactly does Saudi Arabia benefit from selling their oil at 50 cents on the dollar and running out before everyone else does?

[kinnath]

If you have more reserves that anyone else by a long measure, the driving everyone else out of business up front pays off in the long haul.

[The Other Kevin]

Plus it makes fracking and other alternative energy sources less worthwhile.

[BiMonSciFiCon]

Do-over! Sabrina Rubin Erdely, the reporter who wrote the heavily disputed University of Virginia gang rape story for Rolling Stone, is reportedly trying to get in touch with people connected to the story to “re-report” it.

Were I one of those kids, she’d be the last person I’d speak to.

[Raven Nation]

Unless, you agreed to and then taped the interview yourself and got her to admit to malfeasance.

[Andrew S.]

Agreed, though it’s just as bad not to speak to her (“See! She gave them the chance to explain themselves and they refused! They’re obviously guilty!”)

[BiMonSciFiCon]

I would gladly speak to a non-Erdely source, though I’d make sure it was a somewhat objective journalist and not an Amanda Marcotte type. Anyone who portrayed me as a monster in a major publication would not get a second chance.

[Raven Nation]

Latest entry in “sentences that sentient people should not be able to write”:

The determinedly independent body of Australian medicos would not submit to any concept of what they called socialised medicine, so they did not get it: they were allowed to continue to set their own fees at their own levels.

[Dr. Fronkensteen]

I can be generous and call it really bad grammar. They did not want socialized medicine and they did not get socialized medicine. They kept setting their fees at their own levels.

[Raven Nation]

The context of the article was that it was within the purview of the government to give permission to keep setting their own fees. That’s what grated with me.

[Dr. Fronkensteen]

Ah, That I understand.

[Winston]

Sabrina Rubin Erdely, the reporter who wrote the heavily disputed University of Virginia gang rape story for Rolling Stone, is reportedly trying to get in touch with people connected to the story to “re-report” it.

A bit late to do the proper reporting you should have done in the first place.

[Warty]

Two stories from the local shitpaper.

Andrew Hawkins to police: drop dead

Not a bad response. Could have used more “Fuck you, you trained baboons”.

Failure to comply

The law is the law, after all.

[Juice]

The comments are depressing.

[Warty]

Cleveland deserves itself.

[Andrew S.]

Those are mild compared to the Cleveland.com comments on some of the other Tamir Rice articles (check the one about his sister being attacked by the police, for example). Cleveland should probably be nuked from orbit.

[Medical Physics Guy]

It’s almost done that to itself. I was shocked to see it is half the size of Columbus now. Back in the day it rivaled Chicago.

[Mercutio]

No, no, don’t do that! If you nuke Warty, you’ll just make him mad.

[Trouser-Pod]

Actually, they are, if not given a lot of thought, kinda funny. I presume some, if not most, of the commenters are from the area. They have the police they deserve, and seemingly want*.

*may not be true of the guy who got stopped, but it’s only a matter of time until it hits the fluffers in the audience.

[Warty]

Cleveland Heights lifers love their pigs. It’s revolting.

[Almanian!]

I miss living in Avon. 10 minutes from the lake, 20 minutes from work, 30 minutes from downtown.

And the Lake Erie White Caps 5 mins from my house!

[Warty]

Plus, Costco. Holy fuck, I love Costco.

[RBS]

If I was to run away from what I felt in my soul was the right thing to do, that would make me a coward and I couldn’t live with that

Nice.

[Ted S.]

One hopes Andrew Hawkins has taken not of the fact that the “good cops” he mentioned in his comments have not come to his defense.

[Ted S.]

Er, “taken note”, not “taken not”.

[Meriwether]

ArgH. Depressing. The comments in the “failure to comply” are chilling. They say “no matter what the situation, comply, or death is your just reward”. Remind me never to visit Cleveland heights.

[Stormy Dragon]

But first, our top story for the day…

Rules of Dreidel: The Hannukah Game is Way Too Slow; Let’s Speed It Up

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I thought the point of the game was to keep kids occupied as long as possible.

[Almanian!]

It occurs to me – to this end, would it be inappropriate to buy Jewish kids an Easy Bake? Oven?

[Ted S.]

Only if they buy one for Passover, and one for the rest of the year.

[Almanian!]

“Goddamnit, Saul, stop trying to push Ruth in there!”

[gaijin]

too soon!

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

How many children does it seat?

[Stormy Dragon]

No, the point was to make a horrible top pun.

[Jordan]

With the death of a northern white rhino at the San Diego Zoo, there are now only five of the creatures left in the world.

Damn, that’s pretty depressing.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I hear they taste like chicken.

[CE]

I doubt it. They’re more closely related to horses.

[Medical Physics Guy]

Sounds like I’ll be able to get some at the local Tesco soon then

[SFC B]

If they tasted like chicken they probably wouldn’t be facing extinction.

[Stormy Dragon]

As of 31 December 2007, there were an estimated 17,460 southern white rhino in the wild (IUCN 2008), making them by far the most abundant subspecies of rhino in the world; the number of southern white rhinos outnumbers all other rhino species combined.

Is there actually a meaningful difference between the southern and norther white rhinos, or is this one of those “biologist fear the X river salmon may go extinct, leaving us with only a wide variety of nearly identical salmon from other nearby rivers” stories?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Hey, #blackrhinosmatter!

[PapayaSF]

Nice.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Um…

a Iranian immigrant

Anybody see a problem in that phrase?

[Jordan]

The wrong indefinite article was used?

[Doghouse Riley Jr.]

AN Iranian immigrant?

A Persian pioneer?

[Heroic Mulatto]

He was an “asylum seeker”, and thus it was more accurate to label him as a refugee?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Maybe he didn’t *want* to live like a refugee?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Well, he got his wish.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFnOfpIJL0M

[Officer Jim Lahey]

Made me laugh out loud.
And not just because I’m drunk.
At least, I think not.

[tarran]

More like he didn’t want to live like a loser who was convicted of indecent assault of random women and killing his ex-wife.

Being a loser who has to rape and murder to keep women interested has no cachet.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

What?

So he’s walking around free because…?

Maybe the Australians don’t want to have too high a prison population for fear this would be too American?

[invisible furry hand]

The case was described as weak, and the risk of further offences was reckoned as low, so he was released on bail. And it’s a big issue here.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Hmmm…

[DEG]

It’s not a good alliterative phrase.

[invisible furry hand]

His lawyer describes him as “damaged”. Fuck him. I don’t want to be sympathetic or understanding to this miserable human vermin.

I’ve seen speculation on H&R elsewhere that the two hostages were killed by cop bullets. One of them (the manager of the cafe) was actually killed when he tried to take the gun from the gunman. Please don’t let his heroism be forgotten.

[The Late P Brooks]

Oil prices continue to plunge. Great for gas prices! Bad for Russia, whose ruble hit record lows.

Quick, raise the gas tax!

[bliss]

I’ll say it again, and keep on saying it, free markets just don’t work

What Uber is navigating with its to-surge-or-not-to-surge decisions are, on the one hand, classic tensions when it comes to corporate responsibility. Companies of every stripe have long negotiated the relationship between economic theory and cultural, between capitalism and social capital. The stakes are especially high in Uber’s case, though?not just because Uber is popular, but because it is, increasingly, pervasive. Companies like Uber are building not just new technological infrastructures, but new social ones. The implicit promise of buzzterms like “the sharing economy” is that technology, one app and one click at a time, will fundamentally change the way humans relate to each other, on scales that are both mass and intimate. Mass, in this conception, is intimate.

I have no idea what the author is trying to say in this paragraph.

[Almanian!]

Man, that’s a whole mess o’ words to say…..something.

[Heroic Mulatto]

Go home, Megan Garber, you’re drunk.

[bliss]

Ms Garber’s solution:

Or, better yet, imagine if Uber had simply sent a message out to its drivers alerting them to the situation in Sydney and giving them the opportunity to help people get away from the scene. Some would have done it?because money, thankfully for us all, is not the only way to incentivize people.

“It will, of course, be said that such a scheme as is set forth here is quite unpractical, and goes against human nature. This is perfectly true. It is unpractical, and it goes against human nature. This is why it is worth carrying out, and that is why one proposes it. For what is a practical scheme? A practical scheme is either a scheme that is already in existence, or a scheme that could be carried out under existing conditions. But it is exactly the existing conditions that one objects to; and any scheme that could accept these conditions is wrong and foolish. The conditions will be done away with, and human nature will change.”

-Oscar Wilde

[Warty]

Here is something extremely stupid. The basis of his complaint seems to be that he doesn’t understand the inverse square law. A tiny bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Did you really spend an hour of your life on that? I made it to 2:47…NO MAS!

[Warty]

I skipped around. The bits about the Van Allen belts and the attempt to explain away the mirrors left behind on the moon are highlights.

[Heroic Mulatto]

That’s bullshit. Everyone knows the upper echelon of the Illuminati have maintained the old Nazi moon bases for their use since the late 1940s. A stargate between the Ziggurat of Ur (which was the real reason for the Iraq invasion) and the face on the Moon was constructed by the Reptilians circa 8,000 BC.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Those were the new Nazi moon bases, not the old ones.

[The Late P Brooks]

Question: If you were sick in a hospital bed and President Obama (Mr. Fantastic) showed up. How would you react?

“It’s about time, Boy. This bedpan is just about full to overflowin'”

[Almanian!]

I trust you’re old enough to pull this off… 🙂

nice

[PapayaSF]

Winner.

[Lord at War]

Question: If you were sick in a hospital bed and President Obama (Mr. Fantastic) showed up. How would you react?

Am I stromg enough to penetrate his temple with an IV needle?

[Carl ?s the level]

Fidel Castro Named Winner of Confucius Peace Prize

“Mr. Castro, during his leadership of Cuba, didn’t use force or violence when resolving conflicts and problems in international relations and Cuba’s ties with the U.S.,” said the Chinese state-run Global Times, citing a member of the Confucius prize jury.

Mr. Castro’s no-show follows a familiar script for the prize, which has endured a troubled start since its launch in 2010.

Former Taiwanese vice president Lien Chan, the inaugural winner, didn’t attend his award ceremony?his aides said at the time they weren’t even notified. Russian President Vladimir Putin’s 2011 award was picked up by Russian exchange students, while former U.N. Secretary-General Kofi Annan also didn’t appear for his prize ceremony a year later.

Chinese officials have long distanced themselves from the Confucius Peace Prize, even as they condemned its Norwegian equivalent in 2010, when the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded to jailed Chinese writer Liu Xiaobo. In 2011, China’s Ministry of Culture said the prize would be discontinued. The prize is now run by the China International Peace Studies Center, a group of academics that says it isn’t affiliated with the government.

[Irish]

‘”Mr. Castro, during his leadership of Cuba, didn’t use force or violence when resolving conflicts and problems in international relations and Cuba’s ties with the U.S.,” said the Chinese state-run Global Times, citing a member of the Confucius prize jury.’

Well, it is difficult to use force in international relations when your country is so fucking poor that America’s military budget is literally 15x your GDP.

[Winston]

What about his support of the Sandinistas and the MPLA?

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Cheerleading isn’t considered violent?

[Winston]

Cuba sent soldiers to Angola, helped train the Sandinistas and gave them aid.

[Winston]

In 1969 the DGI had financed and organized an operation to free the jailed Sandinista leader Carlos Fonseca from his prison in Costa Rica

By the end of 1975 the Cuban military in Angola numbered more than 25,000 troops

Sounds violent and interventionist.

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Which reminds me, who the fuck invaded Grenada first?

[Winston]

Goalpost shifting…

[Redmanfms]

Probably not, but Cuba has provided substantive aid to Communist terror groups throughout Latin America, including weapons, money, and advisers.

Castro also sent something like 60,000 total troops to Angola to aid the MPLA in the Angolan Civil War. The total numbers fluctuated, but the deployment lasted from 1975 to 1991.

[PapayaSF]

They gave this to Castro and Putin? OK, I think this is some sort of plot to make the Nobel Peace Prize look better by comparison. “We’re not the worst peace prize anymore! Woohoo!”

[The Late P Brooks]

You can’t fix climate change or the environment without stopping the unlimited exploitation of natural and human resources (see Naomi Klein’s “This Changes Everything”). Same with social well-being.

It’s all Nixon’s fault. That deregulating bastard.

[Migrant Log Picker]

Anyone doing a Bowl game pick ’em like last year?

[brokencycle]

In the doesn’t government have anything better to do category? New York bans giving your pet a tattoo:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/wir…..cings.html

[Stormy Dragon]

So no cutiemarks?

[The Late P Brooks]

Sabrina Rubin Erdely, the reporter who wrote the heavily disputed University of Virginia gang rape story for Rolling Stone, is reportedly trying to get in touch with people connected to the story to “re-report” it.

How else would she spend all her newly acquired and well earned free time?

[Bobarian (Mr. Xtreme)]

Has she been fired, yet?

[Stormy Dragon]

I don’t know why all the people she portrayed as being pro-rape in the last story don’t want to talk to her again.

[GILMORE]

“don’t want to talk to her again.”

*they didn’t talk to her in the first place.

[gaijin]

The frat she claimed to be involved should invite her to an off campus party.

[gaijin]

The frat she claimed to be involved should invite her to an off campus party.

[Enough About Palin]

Your all-electric car may not be so green, says new study

People who own all-electric cars where coal generates the power may think they are helping the environment. But a new study finds their vehicles actually make the air dirtier, worsening global warming.

http://www.startribune.com/lif…..60511.html

[Andrew S.]

I own a hybrid. Does this mean I get to be smug when it comes to electric car drivers (like the guy with the Tesla who parks next to me at work) as well as regular old car drivers?

[Suthenboy]

This is news to whom? A retarded chimp can figure that out just by knowing the car runs on electricity.

[Stormy Dragon]

She died a hero:

Cops kill cow after wild chase through Pocatello’s north side

[Wasteland Wanderer]

She will fight for bovine freedom
and hold her large head high/
She will run free with the buffalo
or die

[Notorious G.K.C.]

“Officer Keaton, good work – now, we have a similar problem for you to resolve:”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNjR0cm3P9s

[The Late P Brooks]

People who own all-electric cars where coal generates the power may think they are helping the environment.

You have to be a total fucking moron to think your electric car golf cart is “pollution free”. Anybody with half a brain knows the “emissions” are just displaced.

[GILMORE]

“Anybody with half a brain”

Heerrgghh? Meeeaahhhhuuhhhh?! ghhhhhhttthpp.

/Environmentalist retort

[PapayaSF]

I loved these bits from an early CNN report:

Footage showed them holding up a black flag with Arabic writing on it that reads: “There is no God but God and Mohammed is the prophet of God.” […] “We don’t know whether this is politically motivated, although obviously there are some indications that it could be,” Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott told reporters.

What was your first clue?

The Islamic writing on the banner stoked fears that the crisis in Sydney could be linked to extremists.

Ya think?

[B.P.]

I went over to Amazon to see if you can acquire an ISIS flag there. No deal. You can, however, get a T-shirt with “Fuck ISIS” written in Arabic.

[PapayaSF]

Did you hear that ISIS is going to mint their own gold and silver coins? Those will be collectable.

[The Late P Brooks]

What do the Mohammedans have against chocolate truffles, anyway?

[PapayaSF]

I know an ex-caterer who once had an entire retreat reject their perfectly good chocolate dessert because it involved… chocolate. They acted like he’d tried to serve hamburgers to vegans.

[PapayaSF]

So Notorious G.K.C. is helping me with my script idea. A rock magazine publishes a big but fake expos? about a college fraternity. The fraternity sues, wins, and now they own the magazine! I think they move into the offices for spring break, take over editorial and production, and many hijinks ensue. At first it’s chaos. Some female employees hate them, but eventually fall for their boyish charms. One guy convinces a dour feminist type that she’s really hot, and she tries letting her hair down and wearing makeup and professional-but-sexy clothes and romance blossoms.

Then they get serious (“Hey, we can’t just trash the place, or we won’t make any money!”) and publish some underling’s (real) expos? that management was ignoring for political reasons. The story is a blockbuster! Justice triumphs!

It’s Animal House meets Almost Famous!

Comments and suggestions welcome.

[GILMORE]

Needs Arch-Villain-Nemesis to maintain conflict until 3rd act climax.

The National White Privilege Conference-Committee (*which initially supported the Rockstar mag investigation that resulted in the disastrous lawsuit) now seeks some way to discredit the newly formed FratBoy Inc Publication….

…their evil scheme requires infiltrating the organization and undermining it from within:

they send their best and brightest: Hannah “Fawn” Leibowitz-Stormcloud, (Half-Jewish, Half-American-Indian PhD in Gender Justice and adjunct Professor of Reparations Studies @ Oberlin) to pose as a bimbo journalist and hopefully bring a crippling sexual harrassment suit against Fratboy management.

Her attempts at enticing them fail with hilarious effect due to her own inability to understand what men find attractive; her fumbling eventually results in the aforementioned transformation/romance bit with the fratboy CEO.

The 3rd act comes when they discover their publication’s financiers are connected to looted Nazi Gold; facing liquidation, they confront the White Privilege Committee in a public debate on Hate Crime reparations; in a stunning reversal, Stormclound speaks on behalf of Fratboy Inc. in support of freedom of speech and freedom of association.

Then there is an epic closing musical routine.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

OK, OK, but let’s not stop there.

To keep their traditional readers, the new frat-boy owners have to study up on old rock and roll acts and attend some concerts and do some interviews.

Hilarious culture-clash scenes.

Then the drummer for some old Boomer band dies in an apparent suicide. But the frat-editors do an investigation and find that an international drug syndicate* killed the drummer with some bad drugs and is trying to cover it up, even if it means assassinating journalists.

Of course the cops don’t believe it, and anyway they don’t care about some aging rocker’s death.

Do the frat brothers have the integrity to risk their own lives for the sake of countercultural types who hate their guts?

*Sorry, libertarians, international drug syndicates still make good movie villains.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

SPOILER: In the climactic scene, the drug syndicate has the magazine headquarters under siege, and the frat-editors use their skills to drop a sofa from the roof onto the gangsters below.

[PapayaSF]

Great ideas, guys, but maybe it’s the RIAA/MPAA or a record company who are the villains? Stealing royalties from classic R ‘n’ B acts! That can be the old rock they learn about. They have a party in the office and hear the old tunes and love them, then discover the survivors are now living in poverty, because they got ripped off by the magazine’s biggest advertiser! That’s the scoop the wannabe reporter (the tomboy who blossoms) has discovered, but that management wouldn’t touch.

Ha, it’s all coming together!

[PapayaSF]

Yes, an epic closing musical routine. I’m thinking an updated version of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4Wl2r_VlhA

which the frat brothers do with the shafted R ‘n’ B act. Maybe they do it at a big concert sponsored by the record company. They smuggle the old act in, announce the expos?, and perform, while the executives scowl.

[PapayaSF]

I like the Fawn Leibowitz-Stormcloud character, but I see her as a repressed, pretty hot but icy type. She falls for for the frat president and loosens up, but there’s a mousy/tomboy wannabe reporter who has the scoop and has the total sexy transformation.