Tonight on The Independents: Ask a Communist, Party Panelists Amy Holmes and Rick Ungar, and Judge Napolitano Returns! Open Thread!

Open thread for the show, peeps, and sorry for the confusion!

Tonight on the show, Judge Napolitano talks about how to get in big trouble for singing in German (hint: it's not the way you think!) and that time George Washington decapitated some dudes.

Also on tonight's episode of The Independents (Fox Business Network, 9 p.m. ET, 6 p.m. PT, repeats three and five hours later) Amy Holmes and Rick Ungar join our party panel. And we Ask a Communist with Jesse Myerson.

Follow The Independents on Facebook at facebook.com/IndependentsFBN, follow on Twitter @ independentsFBN, and click on this page for more video of past segments.

Comments

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I'm really not getting the appeal with the commie.

It's cute for a while but not anymore.

[Sevo]

Maybe this is leading up to a televised knee-capping.

[Derpetologist]

I just watched Duck Soup. It is a vastly overrated movie.

Discuss.

[Winston]

You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle.

[Derpetologist]

Why you upstart! Go and never darken my towels again!

[Winston]

Now about that Tariff...

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Dude, for a film made in 1930 it's pretty damn funny.

[Derpetologist]

A little funny, sure. But one of the top 5 comedies of all time?

Twain's "Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses" is even older and a lot funnier:

http://twain.lib.virginia.edu/.....fense.html

[Paul.]

What about The Life and Opinions of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman? A comic romp so full of literary digressions, that Tristram Shandy's birth isn't even discussed until Volume III?

Now THAT'S comedy.

[Irish]

I maintain that sections of The Canterbury Tales are still very funny as well.

[Ted S.]

There are earlier films, such as the silent comedies, that are just as funny if not funnier than the Marx brothers.

I will grant, however, that the early sound era produced a bunch of drawing-room comedies that are terribly dated today.

If you want to see something bizarrely funny from 1930, try Just Imagine. It's a sci-fi musical comedy set in the distant future, that future being... 1980.

[Winston]

Ah 1930, musicals everywhere. So much so that they killed off the musical for the first time.

And it appears that Just Imagine might be the thing that made food pills a big deal.

[Winston]

Oh Ted S. what do you think of Wheeler and Woosley?

[Old Man With Candy]

Nothing to discuss. You have no taste.

[Old Man With Candy]

Funniest movie ever: It's A Gift.

[Winston]

Features the commie daughter of the woman who created Andy Hardy. Sounds a lot more preferable than watching Jesse Myerson.

[PapayaSF]

Funniest movie ever: Airplane!

[Winston]

I find it funny that it is a comedic remake of a Arthur Hailey film. You know the same guy who wrote Airport. And it grew out of a CBC teleplay.

[Winston]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_into_Danger

Featuring Scotty and Felix Leiter.

[Winston]

the original play was purchased for screening by the BBC in the United Kingdom and was a major factor in the supervising producer of CBC's television dramas, Sydney Newman, being brought across to work in the UK. There he made a significant impact on the British television drama industry

So it also gave us Doctor Who.

[PapayaSF]

Interesting. I knew Airplane! was a parody of Zero Hour!, but not that Zero Hour! was based on something earlier.

[Winston]

I remember I was in grade school we were given a book featuring a bunch of plays and television episodes. It included Dracula, The Trouble with Tribbles, a Twilight Zone episode and Flight into Danger. I knew that Airplane was based on Flight into Danger and some of the kids began to realize that the story was somewhat familiar...

[Old Man With Candy]

Airplane at least had a slight Tex Avery quality to it- "If you don't like this joke, another one will be long in 5 seconds or so."

It's A Gift was just pure genius, but too slow paced for today's short attention span youth (shakes fist).

I may end up adopting Carl LaFong as my handle. Capital L, small a, capital F, small o, small n, small g, LaFong, Carl LaFong.

[Sevo]

You guys are nuts.
"Bambi Meets Godzilla"!
There is no second place.

[Sevo]

Well, maybe "The Loved One" in second.

[Derpetologist]

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

[Winston]

Jeez you call Duck Soup overrated and then you choose that one?

[Derpetologist]

De gustibus non disputandam.

Also:

1. Knights who say Ni!

2. Witch trial

3. Bring out your dead

4. Killer rabbit

5. Dennis the anarcho-syndacalist

6. The Black Knight

You just can't go wrong with that movie.

Army of Darkness is a solid 2nd place.

[Winston]

The Greatest Movie Ever is obviously Birdemic: Shock and Terror. It's like so Bad that it's Good/ hipster. Or is it too famous to be good for hipsters?

[Rasilio]

Life of Brian is better for Python

[Bill Dalasio]

Funniest movie ever: Shaolin Soccer.

[cavalier973]

I disagree that it is vastly overrated, but it takes a superior mind to really enjoy it. People who don't like Duck Soup are generally more happy with the pedestrian Three Stooges shorts, or something more modern like Baby's Day Out.

[Old Man With Candy]

The Stooges require even more of a superior and sophisticated mind. The Maha routine is four minutes of cinematic perfection.

[Fist of Etiquette]

D?j? vu all over again.

[Sevo]

Is Judge Napolitano to be a guest? Do I read that correctly?

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

Would his presence influence you watch the show?

[Sevo]

Does he ask rhetorical questions?

[Heroic Mulatto]

Does "Napolitano" sound like a Jewish name to you?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

No, but Napolitanovitch does.

[Heroic Mulatto]

What? Answering a question with a question is chopped liver now?

[Libertarian]

How come I wasn't alerted to the fact he was on the Daily Show recently???

[GILMORE]

"how to get in big trouble for singing in German"

oh oh oh, I know this one = "Singing Lili Marlene at a Bar Mitzvah?"

[Derpetologist]

Well, at least we don't have to call sauerkraut "liberty cabbage" anymore.

We however have to use the word "dickety" because the Kaiser stole the word "twenty".

[AlmightyJB]

You know who else sang in German

[AlmightyJB]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=69z_IN64EG4

[Frank Frankelson]

Not the Scorpions.

[Atanarjuat]

+1 Teutonic Titwillow

[GILMORE]

re: "the Communist"

he should be informed that we've all now listened to his podcast and thing he's an even bigger idiot than we previously believed, which is a pretty significant accomplishment.

He keeps adding to the list of things which he demonstrates conclusively that he 'not only understands nothing about' - but about which he maintains highly detailed, utterly false, and completely misbegotten beliefs

[Derpetologist]

Many people fail to recognize the difference between intelligence and complex stupidity.

[GILMORE]

Nice one! i'm stealing that.

[Derpetologist]

I'm pretty sure I paraphrased a Dilbert cartoon.

Mediocre wits imitate. Great wits steal.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Prediction: Black

[Fist of Etiquette]

She is extraordinary and also plenipotentiary.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ugh. That suede jacket again.

[Winston]

What would Lawrence Tierney say?

[Fist of Etiquette]

I'd be more interested in what John Tierney has to say. Or better, Maura Tierney.

[Fist of Etiquette]

And no tie for Foster. Bah.

[Derpetologist]

My questions for Ask a Communist:

If communism is so great:

why did they have to build a wall to keep people from running away?

why does 10% of Cuba's population apply for asylum in the US each year?

why did the USSR collapse?

why did China allow some capitalism?

why hasn't a single communist country come even close to US living standards?

why was every Soviet car a cheap knock-off of a Western one?

why did the Soviets have to accept grain from the US?

why is Russia so poor despite vast natural resources?

why is it illegal to own typewriters in Cuba?

why did the communists have to kill so many people?

why did every single communist country have a secret police and a vast system of concentration camps?

what is the practical difference between communism and fascism?

how many more countries must communism fail in before the idea is discredited?

[Sevo]

"why was every Soviet car a cheap knock-off of a Western one?"

Not true!
The Trebi was unique in its crumminess!

[Derpetologist]

Maybe. But they sure liked to copy decadent capitalist pig cars:

http://www.realussr.com/ussr/s.....rt-1-of-3/

[Sevo]

You should have seen their B-29!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tupolev_Tu-4
The question is whether they copied the engines' tendencies to burst into flames.

[Derpetologist]

They had a hell of time with the conversion to metric, as I recall.

[Winston]

Reminds me of that bit in A View to A Kill when Bond gets a medal from the Soviets for saving Silicon Valley from the Nazi steroid modified commie double defector Christopher Walken. Something about how if Silicon Valley was destroyed the Soviets would have had no computer technology to steal!

[Sevo]

Well, since they never perfected suitcase tech, we never had to worry about a suitcase nuke!

[Derpetologist]

Russian anthem and hat technology surpasses all other nations.

[Heroic Mulatto]

You expect insightful, good-faith answers to the above?

[Derpetologist]

Nope. It would still be fun to watch them squirm when trying to answer.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Why did they have bad cartoons?

/Krusty.

[Derpetologist]

ENDUT! HOCH HECH!

"What the hell was that?"

[Andrew S.]

Well, was it his fault that capitalist pig dog Gabbo stole Itchy and Scratchy?

[Suthenboy]

They built a wall to keep people out.

Not true.

Capitalist wreckers

To stave off capitalist wreckers

Not true. Capitalist lie.

Not true Capitalist lie.

Not true, Capitalist lie. the US had to accept grain from them.

Not true Capitalist lie.

Not true Capitalist lie.

They didn't

All lies

fascism is right wing, commie is left. Capitalists are like Hitler.

communism will triumph and utopia will be ushered in.

Damn Derpetologist, that was easy.

[Sevo]

Suthenboy|12.3.14 @ 9:18PM|#
"They built a wall to keep people out."

And here commie-kid never gripes about being denied access to the workers' paradise!

[Suthenboy]

Good point.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Answer to all questions: "Those weren't *real* Communists! And what about Wal Mart and Michael Brown?"

[Derpetologist]

NO! NO! NO!

What, is this your first day or something?

You're supposed to bring up McCarthy and the KKK.

Geez...

[PapayaSF]

why did they have to build a wall to keep people from running away?

That was the "anti-fascist protection barrier," you fascist. (Yes, that's what they called it.)

[lap83]

"why did they have to build a wall to keep people from running away?"

The only people who wanted to run away were greedy traitors who refused to share.

[Atanarjuat]

Re: Alan Colmes

What's wrong with your FACE!?

/Plinkett

[Winston]

Is he better than Hannity?

[Atanarjuat]

Hannity...

Pro: has had Rand Paul on a few times

Con: annoying cadence to voice, wrong about virtually everything

His face looks fairly human, though.

[Dave C]

Rand Paul is on his show quite a bit. I'd say once a week.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hungary should be flattered that they're considered a prize.

[PapayaSF]

As an ambassadorial post, I'd say it's in the upper ranks. Budapest is very nice.

[Derpetologist]

In case anyone missed it: epic SJW meltdown

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y6rCbqpq6d0

[Old Man With Candy]

That is extremely funny.

[Derpetologist]

And to think you had the nerve to to criticize my tastes in comedy!

[Old Man With Candy]

You can't write material this good.

[MJGreen]

I don't know, I'm with Irish: it looks like it was written.

[Old Man With Candy]

And I have to compliment the cops for having a sense of humor and actually trying to calm things.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The UCPD at CAL was actually quite reasonable. When they were booking me for that incident that I told you about, we were all laughing about it.

My senior year, there was a hunger strike, the goal of which was to get more funding for an ethnic studies department professorship. My friends and I had a pizza delivered there 3 days into the strike. We ate it in front of the protestors, and gave the leftovers to the cops assigned to the protest, who then also ate in front of the hunger strikers.

I got a get out of jail free card for that one.

[Irish]

The UCPD at CAL was actually quite reasonable. When they were booking me for that incident that I told you about, we were all laughing about it.

Is this the incident where you guys burned down your house, or was there a second one?

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

That particular incident was handled by the City of Berkeley Fire Department, as there was no criminal involvement.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

The incident that OMWC knows about is the time I was drunk at a CAL-Utah football game, and somehow I ended up in the visitor section yelling uncomplimentary things about Mormons. I was dragged away in handcuffs just in time to avoid getting my ass kicked by a giant Polynesian family.

[Wasteland Wanderer]

I think the cops saved your ass, dude. You don't fuck with Polynesians.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

I know. I was lucky.

[PapayaSF]

Ah, UC Berkeley.

[Irish]

Oh, it's Berkeley? It might conceivably be real then, although I still think it's fake.

[PapayaSF]

I recognize the gate, and there are also often Christian preachers there.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

It took me about a tenth of a second to recognize that campus. Ahhh, memories.

[Irish]

There is no way that's real. Just no fucking way. I'm half convinced the 'atheist' was a plant.

[Pl?ya Manhattan.]

Possible. There are several religious preachers on that plaza everyday.

My favorite was a mentally ill fellow who preached into a microphone that wasn't connected to anything. Rick Starr, I think his name was.

[Old Man With Candy]

One reason I'm convinced that this was real is the sheer concentration of mentally ill at UCB. It's like spotting fake tits in LA.

[Irish]

Best line:

Preacher: Why are you so afraid of a reasonable conversation?

SJW: BECAUSE I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM KILLING ANY MORE JEWS AND ANY MORE QUEERS!!!!!!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Mr

Please stay off my side.

[MJGreen]

This is pretty great.

"Christians are responsible for slavery!!"

And they certainly had nothing to do with abolishing it...

If this is real, I'm really sorry for him. He has serious problems.

[Atanarjuat]

That ambassador chick gave a Miss South Carolina-quality answer.

[Winston]

Will Ethel Merman play her in a musical?

[Fist of Etiquette]

How could not even guess an answer based on its location in Eastern Europe?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Whoa. Tierney is equating him to a klansman. Boom.

[JeremyR]

You know, if I wanted to see a commie, I'd be watching MSNBC

[Fist of Etiquette]

Welch already got the party panelists wrong. What makes you think the commie is going to show up?

[Winston]

You could watch a Paul Robeson movie.

[Sevo]

Or read the NYT.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Incitement should include an instruction booklet?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Hm. So we choose when and where we apply the law?

Gotcha.

[Winston]

Myerson supports the deficit. That would mark him as a revisionist.

[Winston]

So isn't there going to be an all-female Ghostbusters? I wonder if they are going to bring back Walter Peck. Or is it too Tea-party to attack a federal bureaucrat?

[GILMORE]

The Independents Attire Review, 3 December 2014

Annals of Higher Learning-Edition

I'm just going to cheat tonight and say, "The hosts all look 'meh'". Blue is my least-favorite, 'The Pelt' is what it is, and Kmele has gone all 'retarded country boy'-look again. Though I love the tweeds. No one inspires me to say anything tonight.

by contrast...

The Party Panel =

- Alan Colmes not only looks like an plastic-surgery-accident creep, but goes that extra-yard to dress like one as well. A man who is so consistently and daringly-icky, you have to admit has style, appalling though it may be. I'd bust his balls for daring to dress *normally*. He's sort of Awesome the way Craig Sager is an anti-fashion Force of Nature.

- John Tierney: I swear to god he wears the *exact same thing every single time he appears in public*. I mean, its uncanny. My theory is that he's actually a Robot. I will hold to this until I see him with a Suntan and wearing a disco shirt.

Dhanyawaad

[Heroic Mulatto]

Anals...it's pronounced anals!

[Atanarjuat]

How about Brian Suits? His outfit says "Alright, Miss, I found the clog".

[Heroic Mulatto]

His outfit says "Alright, Miss, I found the clog".

With soundtrack

[GILMORE]

"'GILMORE|12.3.14 @ 9:17PM|#

I'm glad they found Bryan Suits after his month-long bender, threw him in the shower and gave him $20 to talk for a minute on the show tonight.""

[Libertarian]

I'll just add this to the list of things I wish I said:

Government is simply a word for the things we decide to do together. Like choke men to death over rules governing the sale of cigarettes.

https://twitter.com/charlescwcooke?

[The Laconic]

I thought that was particularly golden as well.

[Fist of Etiquette]

And, your office building has one too many walls.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

I enjoy Suits.

[GILMORE]

I'm glad they found Bryan Suits after his month-long bender, threw him in the shower and gave him $20 to talk for a minute on the show tonight.

[Fist of Etiquette]

HE CAN'T SEE YOU GIVING THUMBS UP, KENNEDY.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

AMNESTYZZZZ!

[Winston]

You Know Who Else hated the Imperial Presidency except when POTUS does something they like?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Your mom?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

That cop killed Garner.

Next.

[Winston]

What did Jim Rockford do now?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

He...died?

[Atanarjuat]

Hey now, he was pardoned for that. By the governor.

[cavalier973]

My wife and I just started watching The Rockford Files. Good show; I like how every episode seems to end up with him being arrested (or something equivalent).

[Old Man With Candy]

My dog likes the car chases. When she hears them starting, she runs into the room, plops down in front of the TV, and stares at it until the inevitable wreck.

Never did understand how panel trucks and Cadillacs could keep up with Firebirds.

[Atanarjuat]

This is the first and only sane discussion on police violence I've heard lately.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Accountability? That's your answer? Go home, Welch.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Zombies did the same thing to me on Halloween.

[Trouser-Pod]

The Stolen BRAAAAAINS Act of 2013?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

MENGELE: "I have saved the Fuhrer's brain as your requested, and I put it in a secure place in Texas."

[Rasilio]

My question is how many brains were reported missing by the liberal arts faculty?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Oh, hell. Foster's gonna eat this dog thing all up.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Yes. A dog is superior to a...tiger.

GTFOH.

[Fist of Etiquette]

COME ON. I SAT THROUGH THAT ONCE ALREADY.

[GILMORE]

The tiger eating the dog was good. +1

[Fist of Etiquette]

I can do all this on my 3D printer. D&R is going to go the way of Kinkos. Sorry, Manufacturing Marvels.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I blame Edward Snowden.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Alan Colmes? TI, have you no shame?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Kmele Foster to the viewer: YOU ARE THE WEAKEST LINK!

[Andrew S.]

There, Reason. I donated. But only to get the tax write-off.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Government tracks down thieves?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Call me skeptical.

[Derpetologist]

Since when is there a stigma against reporting a rape?

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Heck, they openly dated them. Like Jimmy Page.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Can someone educate me about the statute of limitations in Cosby's case and how if at all it got tolled?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Matt Welch: Won't someone please think of the teenagers?

[Derpetologist]

The Bill Cosby rape accusers remind me of the end of Spartacus.

[GILMORE]

all i remember is him getting crucified.

[Derpetologist]

"Alright, which one of you was raped by Cosby?"

"I was!"

"And me!"

"Me too!"

[GILMORE]

oh

[GILMORE]

Moral Panic?!? HOW DARE YOU SUGGEST SUCH A THING

[Derpetologist]

Has Cosby been accused of the UVA gang rape yet?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Banana?

[Fist of Etiquette]

If you don't get that reference, get the hell out.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

I got it, I was pretending not to so so I could cry RACIST!

[Atanarjuat]

Prediction: some of the people who defended Roman Polanski (eg, Whoopi Goldberg) come down hard on Bill Cosby.

[MJGreen]

There is a lot of handwaving about how we can still enjoy Polanski's work despite what he did. But so far there seems to be a consensus that everything Cosby produced is now tainted and it's a good thing Fox and Netflix have disassociated from him.

[Suthenboy]

Cosby has been a non-prog forever and been very vocal about prog bullshit. Polanski is a typical hollywood freak....so.....yeah. No surprise here.

[Wasteland Wanderer]

Apparently Rosie O'Donnel and Whoopi Goldberg threw down over whether or not to discuss it on The Shrieking Harpies The View, with Whoopi not wanting to. So, she's an equal-opportunity (potential, in this case) rapist supporter.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ha! No commie tonight after all. Nailed it.

[Sevo]

Check the intro; Welsh's intern blew it.

[Winston]

Welsh? Boyo!

[Notorious G.K.C.]

They promised Napolitano but they welshed on the deal.

[Buddy Bizarre]

Upsettling? Is that a new Kennedyism?

[Heroic Mulatto]

On the subject of racial profiling, Charles Barkley then went on to add, "Everybody get up, it's time to slam now. We got a real jam goin' down. Welcome to the Space Jam. Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam, alright."

[Winston]

Why wasn't he in the new Godzilla movie?

And I really think Michael Jordan will be great as Johnny Storm.

[Derpetologist]

That's nothing compared to this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1Fasz6_ibI

[Winston]

Let's Green Egg and Ham it!

[Heroic Mulatto]

That was worse than pancreatic cancer.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Glenn Reynolds declares war on cops!

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Cops are above the law. Stop resisting.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Does it matter?

[The Laconic]

I don't know about you guys, but what with all the rape stories, I'm feeling kind of raped out this week.

[Winston]

You literally raped me with comment.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Eat a bowl of dicks?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Good thing we've stuck to the high ground.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Attack Waaaaaaaaaaaatch.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

China: Progs with chop sticks.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They took our Dobbs.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Are you proud of that?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Yes. I usually say it when there's a foreigner in his chair.

[Smilin' Joe Fission]

Off topic: Does anyone know what happened to Groovis? It was like a year or more ago when he just vanished.

[Winston]

Didn't he think that Ukraine was like really libertarian (or close to it) or am I thinking of someone else?

[Dave C]

I gathered he moved to Ukraine. I don't think anyone has heard from since.

[Francisco d'Anconia]

He was commenting here after he moved.

[Winston]

You Know Who Else said things are moving into the Ukraine?

[Winston]

You Know Who Else said things after moving into the Ukraine?

[Rasilio]

He stopped commenting when he met the likely future Mrs Dr Groovus, another Dr at the hospital he was working at over there with a Russian Army vet father.

So it wasn't the move but the woman that took him away from us

[Francisco d'Anconia]

He'd been emailing Sloopy after he disappeared from H&R. I guess he said something about taking a break from H&R, and then he stopped responding to Sloop's emails.

I hope he's well. I miss him, he was a good dude.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Aaaah, she-Dobbs!

[GILMORE]

AAHHH!!! DOBBSWOMAN!?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Aaaah, Shelob the She-Dobbs!

[Derpetologist]

Fun fact: stories and movies about time travel are banned in China

http://www.hollywoodreporter.c.....lms-177801

They say it "disrespects history". Communists of course, are known for their deep, abiding respect to preserve history, warts and all.

[Winston]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_Olds

[Lemmiwinks]

Got banned by PZ Meyers, should I be proud?

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Did you turn his skull into a goblet? If not, don't get too cocky.

[Lemmiwinks]

Damn, no I did not. Is that an option?

[Derpetologist]

It depends on what you said that got you banned.

I managed to get an entire atheist forum to set up a libertarian-free zone.

[Lemmiwinks]

you win. i merely refused to use blockquotes

[cavalier973]

Free thinkers, huh?