'State of Emergency' Declared in Ferguson Ahead of Michael Brown Decision, Extreme Weather Coming to New York, Jaden and Willow Smith Hate School: P.M. Links

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  • Willow Smith
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    Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon declared a state of emergency in Ferguson prior to the release of the grand jury's decision regarding whether or not to indict Darren Wilson, the cop who shot Michael Brown. Skeptics say Nixon's move is premature.

  • Several days of "extreme and dangerous snow" is expected in western New York.
  • Martin Salia, a doctor who died from the ebola virus in an Omaha, Nebraska hospital earlier today, was initially diagnosed as ebola-free.
  • The New York Times interviewed Jaden and Willow Smith. The famous teens said school is a depressing waste of time.
  • President Obama must rely on Mitch McConnell to "secure his legacy," according to Politico.
  • Diane Guerrero, an actress on Netflix's Orange Is the New Black, said her parents were deported when she was 14.
  • Neil Young is boycotting Starbucks because the coffee company thinks anti-GMO laws are stupid.

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  1. Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon declared a state of emergency in Ferguson prior to the release of the grand jury’s decision regarding whether or not to indict Darren Wilson…

    I smell a self-fulfilling prophecy.

      1. I’ve got all my supplies. Bring on the Winter Rioting!

        1. I need more beer. Maybe a run down to Victory.

    1. The build-up is like the super bowl…I’m starting to get excited!

  2. President Obama must rely on Mitch McConnell to “secure his legacy,” according to Politico.

    Thing is, he probably can.

    1. With an impeachment?

      1. That;s one kind of legacy!

  3. Several days of “extreme and dangerous snow” is expected in western New York.

    Snowlocaust 2.0!

    1. As we speak, Canuckistani shock troops are mounting their weaponized polar bears, ready to invade across a frozen lake Eerie to invade the US…

      1. Loser has to keep Cleveland and Northern Ohio.

        1. No way! We got it last time!

          1. PWND!

            *drives up the Upper Peninsula to gloat*

        2. Can the winner keep Cedar Point?

      2. “frozen lake Eerie”

        Well-known as the spookiest of the great lakes.

        1. Ouch. Hoisted on my own petard.

          1. Hoisted on my own petard retard.

            You aren’t towing the lion.

        2. RACIST!!!!!

      3. Western NY residents can only wish Lake Erie was already frozen.

      4. The Wrath of Gaia takes many forms. Hopefully, once we’ve purchased enough Carbon Credit Indulgences, she will turn her snowy gaze from us.

        1. The White Walkers!

            1. You know nothing.

      5. And beavers and otters and caribou and moose…

        1. Go on….

          1. and Canada Geese and Arctic Fox and Blue Jays, and Flying squirrels…

            1. NOW I’m scared

              *runs away*

        2. My sister was bitten by a moose.

          1. So what’s it like having a were-moose in the family?

      6. Already the harrowing ‘call of the plaid’ is echoing across the frozen tundra. The clans are gathering. ‘Wanna go fer a rip, bud?’

    2. Doesn’t this happen every year in the parts of NY directly downwind from the Great Lakes?

      1. Yes, but normally in Decenber.

  4. I am instituting…Martian Law!

    1. You can have my Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator when you pry it from my cold, dead tentacles.

      1. Prepare yourself for immediate disintegration!

  5. Neil Young is boycotting Starbucks

    Does the leave him searching for a pot of joe?

    1. a Starbucks man don’t need him around anyhow.

      1. +1 Sweet Home

      2. He just wants to live with a cinnamon roll.

        1. He just wants to keep on rockin’ in a caffeine-free world

      3. He’s seen the space needle and the damage done.

    2. You don’t think he’s acting at the behest of his fellow Canadians at Tim Horton’s?

    3. Enjoy your futile boycott, Neil. It’ll leave you, er, Helpless.

      1. Great eye rolls reading the comments from the anti-GMO food crowd, such as “any food that has been genetically modified is not real food.”

        Excuse me, Darwin, but I think everything you could possibly eat, short of ice and elements, has been genetically modified an astronomic number of times long before man ever was even able to consider the concept of breeding.

        It staggers me to think that these are the same people who say anyone who questions climate change is “anti-science”.

        1. Just look at the tomato. If that’s not GMO I don’t know what is!

          Dumbasses.

          /Red Foreman.

          1. Well, I think the supermarket tomatoes that you can play baseball with are not as tasty. But I’m not one to put my preferences on others.

            1. There is a good debate to be had about the descent to the lowest common denominator in supermarket produce sections. However, GMO is likely the solution to that problem (the ability to create heirloom flavor in uniformly shaped and ripened tomatoes would make someone rich)

            2. No one thinks that those tomatoes are any good. They are just for people who must have sliced tomatoes on their salads and sandwiches at all times of year.

            3. They aren’t – those were *specifically* bred for longevity (for long transits) even at the expense of flavor.

              Its only been in the last couple of decades that we’ve become rich enough to be able to afford to turn our noses up at them.

        2. I think the distinction between conventional breeding and specific, deliberate modification of genes for a particular purpose is valid. “Has been modified” implies that an agent modified it rather than just selecting for traits that come about through random mutations.
          Saying that GMO stuff is not food is completely ridiculous.

          1. ya. but thats not what those words mean. if they want to describe what they actually care about, in detail, and raise health concerns, fine. But they can’t because they are morons trying to scare a bigger stupider herd of other morons into a panic, so they can count coup against “the man”.

            1. I’m just saying that modern genetic modification is a different thing from conventional breeding. The anti-GMO people are wrong and foolish, but insisting that GM is the same thing as conventional selective breeding is silly too.

        3. I wonder what they would think (were they capable of thought) about corn. It has no wild versions and cannot pollinate without human assistance. It’s pretty much a mystery where it came from.

          1. It has wild versions. It was an (meso)american crop – see ‘maize’

            What we call ‘corn’ is maize after several millennia of genetic modification by the natives of meso-america – and then follow-on modification by colonists.

            1. Specifically, see teosinte.

            2. Selective breeding, not modification. There is a difference. The plant mutates and people select for what they want. No person modified anything until they started irradiating seeds to come up with new cultivars.

    4. his machiotto does 185

      1. *checks user name*

        Oh, I see. Carry on then.

    5. Better keep your head.

  6. The New York Times interviewed Jaden and Willow Smith. The famous teens said school is a depressing waste of time.

    How Can School Be Real If Our Eyes Aren’t Real?

    1. God, beat me to it!

      Know Your Meme entry for the uninformed.

    2. It’s my understanding that Will Smith is no B.S. a very smart man – how does he have such a dumb kid?

      1. talent, intelligence, and success typically always skip a generation

      2. He ruined I Am Legend by agreeing to act in that farce!

        1. The alternate ending helps.

          1. Who was the idiot that decided to go with the ending they used instead of the (much better) alternate ending? The regular ending killed the entire meaning of the whole story.

            1. I’m sure it was a focus group of idiots.

            2. The whole thing was a fiasco. What’s scarier? CGI zombies or your neighbor still being able to talk and want to eat you? CGI zombies or naked female vampires offering themselves up for sex? That movie still infuriates me. The story is so good, but no one can make it work.

        2. I like the Vincent Price version. Does that make me a bad person?

          1. I just watched ‘Laura’.

          2. That’s the only version that kept Matheson’s intention intact. (Probably because he co-wrote it).

      3. Will Smith got tied up in Scientology.

        1. “I just think a lot of the ideas in Scientology are brilliant and revolutionary and non-religious.”

          Yeah, he sounds real intelligent (and eerily like those Jaden Smith tweets).

  7. President Obama must rely on Mitch McConnell to “secure his legacy,” according to Politico.

    Because that’s the most important thing facing the country right now: what accomplishments will be touted at the Barack H. Obama Presidential Library in 10 years?

  8. Neil Young is boycotting Starbucks because the coffee company thinks anti-GMO laws are stupid.

    Is this the story of Johnny Rotten… tomatoes?

    1. Here’s a quip from the Rolling Stone comments section on this story. It’s either serious or sarcastic — and either way it’s hilarious:

      Let’s hear it for Neil’s protest!! Monsanto’s days are surely numbered now.

  9. Neil Young is boycotting Starbucks because the coffee company thinks anti-GMO laws are stupid.

    Drinking my delicious, likely GMO-derived Peppermint Mocha right now. Yum.

  10. my classmate’s step-mother makes $76 hourly on the laptop . She has been out of work for 5 months but last month her pay check was $21931 just working on the laptop for a few hours. visit the website….

    ?????? http://www.payinsider.com

    1. Daily hours check; $21,931 / $76 an hour = 288 hours, or about 9 hours a day over a 31-day month, assuming no days off.

  11. Neil Young is boycotting Starbucks because the coffee company thinks anti-GMO laws are stupid.

    So Neil Young is stupid. Case closed.

    1. Southern man don’t need him around.

      1. Well, I heard Mister Young sing about her
        Well, I heard ole Neil put her down.
        Well, I hope Neil Young will remember
        a southern man don’t need him around anyhow.

        1. One thing I respect Young for is that he said Sweet Home Alabama was a better song than Southern Man.

          (and he was right)

          1. That’s a fairly low bar, of course.

          2. Which I learned from DBT’s Southern Rock Opera.

            1. Rock stars today ain’t half as real
              Let your guitars blast for Ronnie and Neil

          3. *One thing I respect Young for is that he said Sweet Home Alabama was a better song than Southern Man*

            Only after half of Skynyrd died in a fiery plane crash. And probably because it helped him sell a few tickets or shift a few units.

  12. I’ve got to say. I have respect for Will Smith. He seems like a hard worker and he’s a good example of being successful at an early age and not letting it go to his head and destroy his life – an anti-Lohan, if you will.

    And he seems to be raising kids who can think independently.

    1. But…After Earth.

      1. I didn’t find it as gawdawful as everyone else. But then, it was pretty much what I expected, which wasn’t much.

        Independence Day, on the other hand…

        1. Independence Day, on the other hand…

          …was great?

          1. And I completely forgot about Wild Wild West. I mean, what the hell?

            1. Oh my god was that bad.

            2. Wild Wild West sucked balls. Independence Day was/is fun, and always worth a re-watch.

              1. NO!!!

                Independence Day sucked donkey balls.

                But that was not Will Smith’s fault.

                I am Legend was completely Will Smith’s fault!

                1. I am here to tell you all what the correct taste in movies is.

                  ID: not as fun as you think it is. I liked it…only when Will Smith was on screen. Everyone else was awful.

                  I am Legend: sucks.

                  WWW: barely saw it; sucks.

            3. I mean, how do you take a cast including Kevin Kline, Will Smith, and Salman Hayek and make such a piece of irredeemable shit? We got about 1/2 way through and switched over to Escape from New York.

              1. All right, Autocorrect, I have about fucking had it with you.

            4. Hellooo! Salma Hayek’s butt!

        2. Is the second greatest movie ever made, Armageddon being the first, of course.

          “We will not go quietly into the night!” We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”

          -Thomas Whitmore

        3. Welcome to earth?

          1. Ahem, that’s “Welcome to Earf”

        4. He was prenominal in Six Degrees of Separation.

          1. nobody knew his name yet?

    2. They’re doing something ‘independently’, but I’m loathe to call it ‘thinking’.

      1. At this point, my expectations are so low that I’m clinging to any indication that people aren’t blindly believing what they’re told.

  13. David Thompson smacks down the derp

    Short description: some nasty totalitarian collecitivist named Indi doesn’t want you to choose your own sexual identity if Indi doesn’t like that sexual identity. Granted, the identity in question — “lumbersexual” — looks dumb, but there you are.

    (Sorry if I’ve othered Jesse, who might be considered “lumbersexual”.)

    1. Do I have to put on women’s clothing and hang around in bars?

      1. just like my dear papa?

      2. perhaps not, but I’m sure you’ll have to cut down trees, eat your lunch, and go to the lavatory, on Wednesdays go shopping, and eat buttered scones with tea.

        1. NO! Fuck scones. Only the British could ruin both biscuits and pastry.

    2. Metrosexual:Twink::Lumbersexual:Bear?

    3. Lumbersexual? Are they just really into “logging”?

      1. They just yell “TIMBER” when they’re finished.

    4. I think Jesse is a Ursidisexual.

    5. Lumbersexual isn’t a sexual identity, it’s an inane iteration of hipsterism like “metrosexual” it’s purely a stylistic choice and in no way defines ones sexual identity. I’d greatly appreciate it if effete types would stop pretending they were manly men by growing beards and wearing flannel.

      It should also be noted that I did it before it was cool.

      1. Hey Jesse, I have to be in Manhattan Beach on business on Monday, December 8. I was probably going to fly back to SF that evening, but if there’s a possibility for a meetup with the MB crowd and other SoCal Reasonoids that evening, I can change my flight till the following morning. What do you think?

        1. Sorry for the late reply, I had a work matter to attend to. I can fire off an email and see who is and isn’t around. The MB crowed is just me and Playa Manhattan although Los Doyers is close enough for government work.

          1. cool, I will email you

      2. “It should also be noted that I did it before it was cool.”

        Well, the last time it was cool it was 1647 so you’re one old motherfucker.

    6. More dumb shit like “metrosexual” that has nothing to do with sexual orientation.

      I guess I sort of look like that. But mostly because shaving is a waste of time. I also cut down trees and make my own lumber, so I have an excuse.

    1. Raining here. Somhow I don’t think I’ll be seeing any meteors through these clouds.

      1. You still might get lucky, but that’s the sort of meteor you probably don’t want to see.

        1. That would be a meteorite, not a meteor.

          1. It’s only a meteorite after it hits you.

    2. Fuck you and your cis-sky privilege, shitlord. Some of us have transskies all winter.

      1. Western civilization is polluting our skies with light. It’s disgusting and ruins our ability to appreciate nature!

        1. Well, it is and it does.

          I’m not calling for any new regulation or anything, but there is an awful lot of light directed upwards where it doesn’t illuminate anything useful.

          1. No purpose, my bleeding ass. What would a Cleveland winter be without an orange canopy?

            1. It’ll be interesting to see how things go when more outdoor lights move to LEDs. There’s a stretch of Rt. 8 that has them, and you can definitely see the difference. Wonder what it looks like on the horizon.

  14. Chris Christie Encourages House GOP to “Compromise”

    Making a rare Capitol Hill appearance, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie on Monday encouraged the GOP’s newest members of Congress to embrace compromise and common ground as they shift to a governing role following their party’s midterm rout.

    The Republican governor, who is contemplating a 2016 presidential bid, addressed newly elected House Republicans and their spouses during a closed-door orientation luncheon inside the Capitol. The often-outspoken Christie declined to answer questions from reporters afterward, but attendees said offered a distinctly bipartisan tone.

    “He did talk about compromise and finding common ground,” said incoming Rep. Tom MacArthur, R-N.J.

    Christie’s camp said he was invited to address the incoming House Republicans and had no other business in Washington during Monday’s brief appearance. The head of Christie’s finance team, Bill Palatucci, joined him at the meeting.

    Christie is set to decide on a 2016 presidential bid in the coming months. He formally steps down as chairman of the Republican Governors Association later this week when his one-year term ends.

    1. When TEAM RED and TEAM BLUE compromise, we all lose.

      1. RED + BLUE= team purple because we will all get bruised.

    2. Fuck off, fat slaver!

    3. Go fuck yourself, you diabetes-riddled fat slob. Why don’t you tell the democrats and your great buddy Block Yomomma that it’s their turn to compromise.

  15. “Do I look like a slut?”

    Spoiler: No, because there’s no such thing as a slut!

    1. I didn’t know Lexi Belle had an accent.

    2. Slut:

      At it’s most basic, a woman who is indiscreet in her sexual promiscuity.

      There is nothing wrong with a woman being sexually promiscuous if she chooses, just like there is nothing wrong people having a low opinion of her if they discover her sexual promiscuity and find sexual promiscuity to be objectionable.

      1. Accomadating women are the key to world piece.

    3. The clothes you wear send signals in context of the society you live in. If you dress in such a way that says to men “I am receptive to advances from men unknown to me, and assuming they fit my preferences, this has a high likelihood of leading to a brief sexual relationship” then yes, other women are going to call you a slut.

      I often wonder at the rate of autism among feminists.

      1. I believe Dave Chappelle had the best take on this.

      2. See, I always appreciated those women, because it was easy to tell whether or not they would consider a conversation with a stranger like myself.

        1. Sluts and foreign chicks…The best.

      3. “Without my clothes I should be as destitute of authority as any other naked person. Nobody could tell me from a parson, a barber, a dude. Then who is the real Emperor of Russia? My clothes. There is no other…. [W]hat would man be ? what would any man be ? without his clothes? As soon as one stops and thinks over that proposition, one realizes that without his clothes a man would be nothing at all; that the clothes do not merely make the man, the clothes are the man; that without them he is a cipher, a vacancy, a nobody, a nothing….”

        From “The Czar’s Soliloquy,” which is Mark Twain riffing on ? one might well say blogging ? an item he read in the London Times Correspondence: “After the Czar’s morning bath it is his habit to meditate an hour before dressing himself.” Twain supplies the hour of meditation, which ends with the Czar deciding to put on his clothes:

        “There is but one restorative ? Clothes! respect-reviving, spirit-uplifting clothes! heaven’s kindliest gift to man, his only protection against finding himself out: they deceive him, they confer dignity upon him; without them he has none…. Mine are able to expand a human cipher into a globe-shadowing portent; they can command the respect of the whole world ? including my own, which is fading. I will put them on.”

        http://althouse.blogspot.com/2…..pider.html

    4. “Do I look like a slut?”

      Goddamn…..you do…..I’ll be in my bunk with that video paused with you in your bra!

    5. “Do I look like a slut?”

      I don’t know, *do* you?

  16. Daily Show to cover Detroit water shut offs. Prepare for the derp!

    Of the 174,000 active residential accounts in Detroit, more than 74,000 are past due with bills averaging about $570.

    1. This is because California is afraid of its future water shut-off.

    2. So John Stewart is covering their bills with his own money! Hurrah!

      Oh, wait, you meant…

      1. Actually how many of these delinquent accounts could Mr Stewart pick up from his not inconsiderable fortune?

  17. China has opened up a trading link between Hong Kong and Shanghai. Foreigners can now buy many Chinese companies although there is a cap on how much money can go each way. Apparently this is a huge deal. Too lazy to link. Any thoughts on what this might mean for the Remnibi as a reserve currency?

    1. Probably not much. Everyone I talk to believes that much of the Chinese economy is going to keeping the bad paper from drowning the real gains. Which has kind of been okay, because it helped keep inflation down. But I’m not putting real money into buying a piece of a company that may or may not be a front for a bunch of Army generals’ looting of productive assets.

  18. Barbara Boxer (R(etard)-CA): Ignore ‘do-nothing’ Congress and pass immigration reform now!

    I urge you to ignore the angry voices of the do-nothing crowd in Congress who have repeatedly blocked progress on immigration reform. If they really cared about fixing our broken immigration system, they would not be threatening to shut down the government or file wasteful lawsuits — they would just do their job and pass comprehensive immigration reform.

    Reforming our immigration system is one of the best things we could do for our economy. A recent USC study showed that immigration reform that includes a path to citizenship would inject $8 billion into California’s economy each year. Nationwide, it would increase our GDP by $1.5 trillion over 10 years, increase wages for workers, and lead to between 750,000 and 900,000 new jobs, according to the Center for American Progress.

    I know that you are working on this issue very diligently because you understand that if we do not act, the dire situation of undocumented immigrants will only get worse — families will continue to be torn apart and, as people continue to live in the shadows, our economy will suffer. So two important priorities are at stake — a healthy economy and our family values.

    The American people, including the people of my state, support bold and compassionate action on immigration reform.

    1. I thought she was a (D(ipshit_-CA)?

    2. Here’s the cycle that will happen yet again

      1. Illegals come to the USA to do dirty manual labor jobs for low wages that “Americans just won’t do”
      2. Illegals live very cost-effectively with several people sharing a single inexpensive apartment, so that they can send plenty of money to their home country to support the family, perhaps even bring their own family members here
      3. Obama declares all these folks now legal
      4. Progressives discover all these ‘new residents’ are working for wages that ‘no one can possibly live on’ and fight for new minimum-wage laws and programs to support ‘living wages’, affordable housing, etc.
      5. Living-wage laws lead to huge loss of jobs and suddenly these new residents can’t find work, despite the fact they were completely willing to labor at the lower wage and were perfectly capable of living well off that wage
      6. New residents have no choice but to accept government assistance, housing, food stamps, then vote for the kind Democrats who make such programs possible
      7. New generations (family members of the new residents) grow up dependent on the government, never have the hard-working attitude that led their parent(s) to come here illegally for a job in the first place, and they all vote Democrat too
      8. Democrat supermajorities with the lion’s share of the electorate on public assistance
      9. Rinse and repeat

  19. I’m sure Neil Young has thought long and hard about his stance. You know, like how his actions could affect the jobs of employees who depend on them. Nah. GMO is waayy more important because earth and right to know what he eats.

    The self-righteous and nauseating stupidity of progressives knows no bounds.

    1. There’s a reason they’re just “Crosby, Stills and Nash” most of the time…

      1. The level of stupidity in CSN is epic.

        I believe Y can’t hang around for very long, because a singularity starts to form.

  20. “Diane Guerrero, an actress on Netflix’s Orange Is the New Black said her parents were deported when she was 14.”

    FTFA: They [Guerrero’s parents]lost their money to people they believed to be attorneys, but who ultimately never helped.

    And while that’s truly sad, why isn’t the immigrant/hispanic community doing a better job of educating immigrants about actual legal paths to immigration and providing references to actual people who can help.

    [After Guerrero’s parents were arrested] Not a single person at any level of government took any note of me. No one checked to see if I had a place to live or food to eat, and at 14, I found myself basically on my own.

    Yep, that’s government for you destroying families, ignoring children who are effectively orphaned through the actions of state agents while seizing children who are being well-cared for. But she was possibly better off not in foster care.

    1. why isn’t the immigrant/hispanic community doing a better job of educating immigrants about actual legal paths to immigration and providing references to actual people who can help.

      If said immigrants gave a shit about actual legal paths, they wouldn’t have entered illegally to begin with. Not to mention that most of them wouldn’t qualify for the legal paths in the first place, which is what drives the problem.

    2. Personally, I’m all for free immigration for women who look like Diane Guerrero.

      /TIWTANFL

      1. We definitely need a DAT ASS visa category.

      2. She’s attractive, and therefore never takes her clothes off.

  21. University of Tennessee to drop “Lady Vol” moniker from female athletic teams

    Last week, Tennessee announced the move as part of what they called a “branding restructure.” All the sports teams, men’s and women’s, will use a “Power T” logo, which the school said in a press release “was a result of a four-year branding study conducted by the University in conjunction with industry leaders in higher education branding.” Just one women’s team, the school’s storied basketball team, is being allowed to keep the”Lady” part of their name, as a nod to legendary former coach Pat Summitt, who stepped down in 2012 due to early-onset dementia.

    The move has kicked off a furious debate about whether using the “Lady” moniker for women’s sports teams is antiquated, or whether, as Washington Post sports columnist Sally Jenkins argued, changing the name is “defacing the women’s sports tradition at Tennessee.”

    Yeah, how about that?

        1. Enthusiastic consenters.

          1. WinnaH!!

    1. When I worked in Lima, OH, one of the suburbs was Bath. home of the “Wildcats”. The “womens'” (girls) teams were….wait for it….”The Wildkittens”.

      Only in mid-Ohio. I thought it was adorable.

      We lived in Ottawa, where everyone was a Titan….although they did refer to the volleyballers as Lady Titans…

      1. Not…

        Oh, nevermind.

    2. Meh. Change your team name to whatever you like.

    3. Erandis Vol? The Lich Queen? The sole remaining bearer of the Mark of Death?

  22. whether or not

    ^^Redundant^^

  23. Mali on high alert with new Ebola cluster.

    It all started with a sick nurse, whose positive test for Ebola came only after her death. In a busy clinic that treats Mali’s elite as well as wounded U.N. peacekeepers, what patient transmitted the virus?

    Whoa whoa whoa, wait, what? Someone only tested positive for Ebola after their death? Meaning that all the tests when she was alive came back negative?? That doesn’t sound too good, either for people over there in the Hot Zone, or for the “Top Men” who like us to believe that they know everything.

    “I feel uneasy because I have the impression that our authorities are not giving us the whole truth,” said Ibrahim Traore, who works at a supermarket in the capital. “There are a lot of things not being said about how the Ebola virus came to Bamako.”

    Gee, I can’t imagine for the life of me why anyone would feel that. Mr. Traore sounds like someone who needs to be reported to the “Top Men” for some proper re-education.

    1. The government of Mali probably instituted a travel ban to and from Western Africa; this is why they have Ebola, now.

    2. But hey, the US is once again “ebola-free”!

    1. That… was rad.

    2. Standing waves are neat.

    3. +1 Chladni

  24. Neil Young is boycotting Starbucks because the coffee company thinks anti-GMO laws are stupid.

    1. Goddamn all those illegal “Petes”, you know, sneaking in from the Netherlands, Germany, and those other countries in which Peter is a common form of the Greek Petros.

      1. It was “illegal Pedros”, but then the “r” went out and local NAMBLA guys started hanging out there and creeping out the families.

    2. Are you fucking kidding me? The language police keep getting stupider and stupider.

    3. Sneaky Pete’s

      1. +1 pool hustler

  25. “Pants Up! Don’t Loot!”

    Supporters of Ferguson Police Officer Darren Wilson raised more than $3,000 to erect a “Pants Up, Don’t Loot” billboard in or around the predominantly black St. Louis suburb as the grand jury decision on an indictment for the white police officer looms. The billboard’s message comes from a National Review article quoting a derogatory response to the “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” chant by supporters of unarmed black teen Mike Brown, whom Wilson shot and killed Aug. 9.

    The “Pants Up, Don’t Loot” campaign was created on the crowdfunding website Indiegogo and quickly reached its $3,000 goal on Monday. “This crowdfunding campaign is for the purchase of a billboard in the Ferguson, MO area. The billboard will display black text on a white background with the text “#PantsUPDontLoot,” reads the campaign’s message.

    1. Thinly veiled racism is surely going to help to ensure a peaceful protest once the grand jury exonerates Darren Wilson.

      1. It’s humorous because it’s a combination of being blatantly provocative, in poor taste, and has terrible timing. Sort of, it’s so bad it’s good.

        I’m also convinced now that you can crowdfund anything.

        1. It did make me laugh. I’d say it’s a reciprocal verbal attack.

      2. “Put down that grape soda, push away that delicious slice of watermelon, stub out your Kool…but don’t riot.”

      3. We’d be better off telling them all their problems are the result of White men who are free to go around murdering their “children” and not be prosecuted because the government is secretly controlled by the Ku Klux Klan. That will surely calm them down.

        1. Wow. That’s Shreek-level reading comprehension. I’m impressed, truly.

          1. Oh, is that “not” what cosmotarians are saying? Sorry for reading it wrong.

            1. JOZZZZ!!!!! COZMOZZZZ!!!!!

            2. How many times do you have to be banned for you to take a hint, you racist dipstick?

              Usual deflections in 3… 2…

              1. ‘Murican will never go away. He’ll be with us forever.

                  1. Have you been walking through his dreams and taking notes, HM?

                    1. Now you know why I carved out my own eyeballs with a spoon.

                      I couldn’t stand the visions anymore.

                  2. My sides exploded.

      4. And this proves my point that people here are willing to call their opponents racist just because they disagree with a supposedly “libertarian” premise.

        What exactly is racist about telling people (who already have looted once already BTW) not to loot?

        Just because this place is anti-cop, doesn’t mean it’s okay for 300 lb dudes to attack cops and expect to get away with it.

        1. It’s the “Pants Up” part that really adds the racist element, but they can’t just put “Don’t Loot”, because then the local, state, and Federal governments might take offense.

    2. So what if you don’t loot, but keep your pants down? Government dispensed beating for being uppity?

    3. How ridiculously homophobic. Sagging pants are a sign that you are on the down low and are a bottom. Just like the handkerchief code?

    4. How long until a cop beats somebody with sagging pants to death and gets off because the court rules that this billboard constitutes a legal order?

    5. a “Pants Up, Don’t Loot” billboard

      That’s hilarious.

  26. Blast from the past. Obama on immigration pre-Emperor:

    http://www.politifact.com/trut…..st-part-i/

    1. Wait, so you’re saying is that Obama is not governing the way he said he would during his first campaign? Stop the presses!

  27. The famous teens said school is a depressing waste of time.

    For anyone with a millionaire movie star dad.

  28. edHelper.com (an education help website)

    1 What is a citizen? If you were born in the United States, you are a citizen. That means you are a member of our country. Sometimes people who are not born here want to become citizens. They do this by asking the government to make them a citizen. This is called naturalization.

    2 As a citizen you have special privileges called rights.The government protects those rights. In our country, you have free speech. You are also given the right to choose a religion. In America, the press is free to tell you what is happening in the world. The Bill of Rights lists the freedoms given to citizens. These rights are very important. Many people in the world do not have freedoms like we do.
    3 Because the government protects our rights, we have the duty to be good citizens

    1. Gaaaaaaahhhhhh….

      infuriating, yet so expected

    2. Was this written by Tony?

      1. I don’t think Tony would go so far as to call them rights.

    3. As a citizen you have special privileges called rights.

      So illegal aliens don’t have rights? Cool beans man! Time to play the “Most Dangerous Game!”

      1. The new revision of the Declaration of Independence reads “all U.S. citizens are created equal”

    4. That bolded sentence is terrible, but I’m actually concerned more about #3.

      1. Let’s take extra care to follow the instructions or you’ll be put to sleep, and don’t forget Taco Tuesday’s coming next week.

    5. Ughhhh

    6. Paying taxes* and being subject to endless bureaucracy in exchange for being able to participate in the farce known as “voting” is now the definition of rights?

      *Yes, I understand that many non-citizens pay tax. And we don’t even call it tribute anymore.

    7. They are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable Rights…

      Guess this is just a quaint relic now. How can you not love Big Brother when he gives you all these rights?

    8. Do not google Phyllis Naegeli. You’ve been warned.

  29. “Trust in government is near all-time lows”

    The solution is to put the government in charge of all people, according to former general McChrystal.

    1. MChrystal was always honest during his time in the military, and never was part of a cover-up involving the death of Pat Tilman. Nope. Not at all.

      1. Fuck Stanley McChrystal and his corvee labor mandate.

    1. Iowahawk: This is my shocked face: De Blasio aide who still owes $28k in taxes was former aide to Al Sharpton, who still owes $4.7 million in taxes

      1. Hey, it’s not the aide’s job to remind them to pay their taxes.

        Unless it is, in which case they’re incompetent.

    2. Why does the Mayor’s bitch get a $170,000 aide?

  30. Finally an issue that right and left can agree on:

    “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” Was Terrible the First Time and It’s Terrible Now

    Second worst Christmas song ever. I don’t get why it gets so much air time.

    1. I hope So This is Christmas by John Lennon is your number one offender.

      1. No, that’s #3. #1 is “The Christmas Shoes”

    2. All Christmas songs are the worst Christmas song ever.

      1. Even The Waitresses’ Christmas Wrapping?

      2. “Run with the Fox” is not only the greatest Christmas song ever, it’s one of the best songs ever.

  31. Marc Randazza is still a badass, and PUAs are still weirdos

    …your client posted a video in which Julien Blanc gives men advice on picking up Japanese women…

    Part of his advice is as follows: “at least in Tokyo, If you’re a white male, you can do what you want” “Romping through the streets just like grabbing girls… head on dick… head on dick… yelling Pikachu.” […] The video then demonstrates this “advice” in action.

    I don’t know whether it is true that white men can do whatever they want in Tokyo. If that’s true, I’m moving there. I want to do whatever I want, without consequences. All I’ve been looking for my entire life is the ability to have a consequence-free existence.

    I thought that getting really rich was the secret to that. Imagine my delight when I learned that I don’t need to be a billionaire to do whatever the fuck I want. I’ve had the power to have a consequence free existence all along! I just had to look inside myself,and see my Caucasian DNA, look inside my pants and see my penis, and just seize it as my birthright (the power, not my penis). This is embarrassing for me, since I always make fun of people who use the terms “white privilege” or “male privilege.”

  32. “Obama: We didn’t deceive anyone to pass Obamacare”
    http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/16/…..index.html

    Yes, he said that. Along with “If you like your policy…”

    1. The lying liar lies about his lies.

  33. OT: So a couple of weeks ago at the local high school a student was tazed by the police not once, but twice.

    See, the vice principal wanted to take the kid’s cell phone away. The kid refused. So of course the first thing to do was to call the police. The entire school went into “Shelter in place” as the officers arrived, grabbed the kid and tried to put him in the car. The officer claims that the kid hit him in the eye in the struggle, and that led to the student getting tazered.

    I bring this up because today as I was helping my father with the grounds at the school I happened to overhear the vice principal and the officer in question cracking jokes about the kid hopefully “getting visited by Bubba” while in the clink. Apparently they are pushing to get the kid charged as an adult and naturally, making jokes about him getting butt raped is just teh funniest thing evar.

    I had to keep from vomiting on the spot.

    1. I’d go to the media with that. Fuck him.

      1. Given that the original story made about 4 paragraphs and reported the kid as having no injuries but the officer suffering “an injury to the right eye and a contusion to the right leg” I have little faith in the media.

        Great Monday evening nut punch though!

    2. To add to local town drama, a few years ago we had a bank robbery during a festival. The same officer was the one called to the scene.

      Somehow the robber managed, without a firearm, to take the officer’s sidearm. The officer fled the scene, screaming, across the street into the pharmacy where he hid in the bathroom. Meanwhile, the robber forgot most of the money on the counter as he chased the cop halfway across the street and the bank staff merely locked the doors behind him. Said robber evaded capture for the entire weekend mucking about in the town’s many orchards.

      Why this man is still on the town payroll I have no clue.

      1. Is this real? Are you sure you don’t live in a cartoon? Like The PowerPuff Girls? Please tell me you do. I don’t want this to be real.

        1. I didn’t think Townsville had any police officers. They just let the Powerpuff Girls take care of everything.

          This sounds more like a lost Keystone Cops story.

          1. Townsville had police with the same job as any real city: show up afterwards and write a report.

        2. The truly awful thing is that this man isn’t the worst officer we’ve had.

          Oh no. Not at all.

          We once had a man known to all us local kids as “Fat Pat”. A man easily pushing 450 lbs with an ass half as wide as his patrol car. And that’s not even getting into his behavior.

          1. You can’t say that without giving an example of said behavior.

            1. Well he explained the “fat” part of the nickname. Obviously the behavior is how he got the “pat” part of the nickname.

              1. Not quite the case… I mean, his name was Patrick.

                But he also was known for having a large amount of foster kids coming in and out of the house every few years.

                The got him for something like, 57 counts of child abuse and multiple sexual assaults for children as young as 3.

                1. He would always eat at this sleazy diner right by elementary school, then park right by the trailer homes and just watch all the kids walk to and from school.

                  Friends and I would eventually take to biking around the long way just to avoid him.

              2. Oh, I thought it was ’cause he was Irish.

      2. I’m really going to need a link to this story as it strains credulity.

          1. Thanks.

    3. Don’t help the school any more. You wouldn’t mow the lawn at a death camp, after all.

    4. God I hate public school. At my school it was policy that if you got into a fight, any participants in the fight would be walked out the front door in hand cuffs. No inquiring into who was at fault, why the altercation took place or anything.

      I got thrown out of my history class once for giving my teacher “a look.” He threatened to write me up for “defiance” and I almost dared him to because I wanted to see how he would try to frame a particular facial expression as defying his authority.

      If they charge the kid as an adult, aren’t they undermining their case? If the kid is an adult, then he shouldn’t be subject to whatever authority the principle has, and was therefore falsely arrested and has the right to resist false arrest.

      1. In my time in Public Ed (shudder) in BC I have to say disorder was generally the problem. No quality control of students and ‘tolerance’ extended to shitheads who should not have been there. Teachers became apathetic. This has transmuted into petty authoritarianism. Super-Liberals often lead to Sub-Liberals.

      2. The rumor mill is, unfortunatley, the only place where I’ve heard they are attempting to charge him as an adult.

        The original article states that Youth Corrections booked the kid, and what surprised me the most was that he was charged with trespassing.

        I guess that as soon as a student is asked to leave the classroom they have to leave or else?

      3. God I hate public school. At my school it was policy that if you got into a fight, any participants in the fight would be walked out the front door in hand cuffs. No inquiring into who was at fault, why the altercation took place or anything.

        Like a no-fault divorce state.

  34. Okay, it’s here: the Cytotoxic movie guide. Sorry to keep you all waiting I know you were dying for guidance.

    Gone Girl: Movie of the year stop what you’re doing and go see it.

    InterStellar: flawed masterpiece. Editing is unnecessarily frenetic at times. Some decisions don’t make sense. No luddism, contrary to what some said here. Go watch it.

    Fury: better than I expected. GORE. Watch it.

    Nightcrawler: this might be a good movie, but I don’t think I enjoyed it. Save it for the small scene.

    1. Your taste is horrible and no one should trust a word that you say about art.

      1. My taste is amazing and approaches perfection. You are in fact just jealous. I have never once aired a preference in bad taste on this board.

        1. I have never once aired a preference in bad taste on this board.

          My monitor warranty had better cover spit takes

          1. It’s a shocking truth, but it’s still truth.

        2. Fury was ok, some scenes were great, however the last epic battle scene stretched credulity. They could have done it completely differently and still had a great final climax.

    2. I’m starting to think that maybe movies are bit “fruity”.

    3. Fury: Completely absurd climax battle scene, but I’d watch it again right now. I just enjoy WW II flicks.

  35. Outer Party Feminist: Mark Zuckerberg’s Inoffensive Shirts Are Offensive

    Steve Jobs had his simple black turtlenecks, Twitter’s Jack Dorsey had his sharp Prada suit, and Mark Zuckerberg has his uniform of nondescript, plain gray T-shirts. At a recent Q&A session, someone finally asked him why he seems to have a lifetime supply of inoffensive, poorly fitting gray tees.

    His answer: “I’m in this really lucky position where I get to wake up every day and help serve more than a billion people. And I’d feel I’m not doing my job if I spent any of my energy on things that are silly or frivolous about my life.”

    Burn, Zuckerberg! Is it just me or does the mindset of the Silicon Valley Power-Schlub imply that caring about clothing or how you look invalidates your ability to work? Of course, male CEOs are far too focused on changing the world or building the next Big App to care about something as “silly” or “frivolous” as dressing professionally ? they’ll just leave that to Marissa Mayer.

    1. Your shirt is too loud and sexist, your shirt is too boring: men just can’t do anything right.

    2. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

    3. The word “silly” has now been claimed by feminists. Greaaaat!

    4. At least the comments are appropriately excoriating.

    5. He still didn’t explain why he always wears copies of the same basic tee. I have no wardrobe, but still have more variety than this guy. It’s like he’s deliberately buying identical shirts

      1. “Burn the socks. I just can’t stand the thought of people’s feet being where my feet have been.”

  36. I hope Neil Young will remember
    the barista man don’t need him around
    and how

    1. seems the thought that he caught with his head is the event of the season.

  37. Just to repeate my point from above:

    “The Christmas Shoes” is by far the word Christmas Song ever. Other bad christmas songs are just misguided and annoying. “The Christmas Shoes” is the only one that is actively evil and horrifying.

    1. Is that th supposed tearjerker one where the guys daughter died or something? If so, I agree. I’d listen to the kidz bop version of shake it off on loop before hearing that song once.

      1. No, it’s the one where a poor kid is shopping for shoes for his dying-from-cancer mom on Christmas eve and doesn’t have money. Singer pays for the shoes and then comments on how great he feels (despite not actually having improved the kids situation in any meaningful sense) and then concludes the God must have given the kid’s mom cancer JUST SO THAT THE SINGER COULD LEARN A LESSON ABOUT THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS.

        Which is I think this guy may be a serial-killer level narciscism.

        1. Yeah, that’s the one… i’ve so struck that abomination from my mind that I had forgotten the stupid plot. All that made it through my mental block was “middle aged guy”, “little kid”, and cancer.

        2. then concludes the God must have given the kid’s mom cancer JUST SO THAT THE SINGER COULD LEARN A LESSON ABOUT THE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS.

          The lyrics:

          “I knew I’d caught a glimpse of heaven’s love as he thanked me and ran out
          I knew that God had sent me that little boy to remind me what Christmas is all about.”

          Not exactly the same, I think.

    2. Never heard of it.

      1. It’s a “Christian Rock” song that became bizarrely popular with the Evangelical Crowd to the point of getting made into a TV movie.

        1. “It’s a “Christian Rock” ”

          Then is doesn’t count, that has it’s own category of suck.

          1. Songs can be in more than one category of suck.

            1. Sure. But once you’re in the CR suck category, all the other categories are superfluous.

              I mean, CR *starts* out bad – though there are a few outstanding songs that rise to the heights of ‘merely mediocre’ – and goes downhill from there.

              While I give them props for trying, and maybe one day someone will be able to mix Jesus and rock-rock-and-roll together in a non-god-awful way, the best religious music is still in the old formats.

              1. The problem is structural. “Rock” and “emotional ploy” don’t belong in the same sentence. There’s a certain detachment in rock-and-roll that doesn’t translate well to “Jesus saved your soul.”

                There are a few exceptions, as you noted, but CR is like disco or Ke?ha… there is a level of implied suck.

                A Christian music minister agrees

                1. The Name of the Lord Is a Strong Tower, In Bed

                  Lord I Lift Your Name on High, In Bed

                  Did You Feel the Mountains Tremble, In Bed

              2. This song is way, way above “merely mediocre.” I stumbled across it on a power pop compilation, so I don’t know about the rest of Christian rock (or even other songs by this group), but I think this song is brilliant.

        2. That wasn’t a request for further information.

    3. False!

      Wham!’s Last Christmas is the worst Christmas Song EVER.

      My opinion on this may be partially colored by the restaurant under my apartment playing it on loop for the entire month of December in 2007.

      1. Eh…I’d say it was a tie between “Last Christmas” and “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time”.

    4. While I am a big fan of Red Sovine and the tear-jerker Christmas genre, you simply must listen to Goin’ to Bethlehem- Countryside Unitarian Fellowship

      You’ll never be the same.

      It’s 2nd on this list
      http://www.nj.com/insidejersey…..ristm.html

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